12 The Sportstar May 10, 2003

A CCOMPANIED by a greatwhooshing sound and a blast

of frigid rocky mountain air, MonicaSeles swirled through the revolvingdoors of the Marriott City CenterHotel in Denver and came in fromthe night. The blond highlights inher hair gleamed in the bright lights

of the warm lobby and her custom-arily pale face was ruddy. She wasdressed in a top the color of desertsand with matching ultra-suedeslacks in a warm earth tone. Hershoes were stylish but sensiblemauve flats. She had just come froma cocktail party preceding an exhibi-tion match she would play the fol-lowing day. It was odd to see Seles,the 29-year-old winner of nineGrand Slam titles and almost $15million in prize money, with her

hair down. For years she has resolutely put

it up on court in some tightly woundvariation of an all-business bun.Here, though, Seles’ curly, shoulder-length brown and blond locksframed her oval face, giving her aPre-Raphaelite look. But instead oftranquillity, she projected a muchmore contemporary — distinctlyMonica-esque — sense of urgency.This has always been a woman in ahurry, a run-on sentence fleeing the

■ INTERVIEW/MONICA SELES

The Love of Her Life

Monica Seles during a press conference at the APT-WTA Master Series at Key Biscayne, Florida. “I really love thegame. I mean, I really love tennis. And that’s helped me through all of the struggles, it saved me from being foreversad,” says Seles. — Pic. AFP

Ten years ago (April 30, 1993), Monica Seles, then 19, was stabbed during a match inHamburg, Germany, ending a brilliant run that had taken her to the top of the women’s game.

Although she has never regained her dominance, her love for the sport endures. In thisexclusive interview with PETER BODO, the famously private Seles reveals

the depth of her devotion to tennis.

From Tennis Magazine © 2003 ByMiller Sports Group LLC. Distributedby the Los Angeles Times SyndicateInternational

May 10, 2003 The Sportstar 13

inevitable period. Soon I was push-ing back the door to the Marriott’sHomestead conference room, whichhad been reserved for us.

Regarding the long mahoganytable and leather executive arm-chairs, Seles joked, “We can sit at farends like two big shots.” We hadbarely pulled the chairs close, andSeles hadn’t yet opened the first ofthe four bottles of water she woulddrink, when she declared what thefirst item on the agenda in our 90-minute conversation would be:“The retirement thing.” Then, inher signature stream-of-conscious-ness style, she made an impassioned

plea for why we should avoid a sub-ject that people recently seemed fix-ated on. “I don’t have a timetable tostop playing, and I don’t put condi-tions on it. I still love playing, andI’ll keep playing as long as that’strue.” I assured Seles that we hadn’tcome to bury her, but to honour her— to make her the subject of theTENNIS Interview in the year thatwill mark the 10th anniversary ofthat chilly, sombre day, April 30,1993, when a lunatic plunged aknife into her back while she satthrough a changeover during amatch in Hamburg, Germany.

At that point, Seles was still a

teenager. She had won eight GrandSlam events and more titles at ayounger age than any woman inhistory. And while she has won onlyone more major since returning tothe tour in the summer of 1995, shehas become one of the most com-pelling and sympathetic figures insports.

Here then is her story, in herwords, told in the manner we’vecome to recognise: guarded, breath-less, wonder-filled, private, ebul-lient, cautious, philosophical,sincere, and ever so slightly inse-cure. Perhaps you would be, too, inher shoes.● Ten years ago, you were stabbedon a tennis court in Hamburg, Ger-many. The knife left a small scar onyour back — where else did it leavea mark?

On my record, because it tookaway some of the best years of mytennis career, that’s for sure. I don’tthink it left many others. To tell thetruth, it’s still very strange to me.I’m the only person in sports thatthis ever happened to.

But I don’t want to revisit Ham-burg in my head. It was not a happything, nor was it a happy time. Andthen, just a year before I came back,my father (Karolj) was diagnosedwith prostate cancer, then stomachcancer (he died of the disease in1998).

The attack also seemed to makeme more sympathetic to the public.The incident reached a lot of peoplewho never cared about tennis. Dur-ing my comeback, it was like, “Thisis that poor girl who got stabbed andnow she’s coming back — howwonderful is that?” But I have noidea what nerve I hit or why I hit it.And it’s not something I like to thinkabout or influence.

I just want people to like me forwho I am, for the qualities that myparents (Seles’ mother, Ester, nowlives with Monica in Sarasota, Flor-ida) instilled in me. I’m very proudof that, very proud of them. Hopeful-ly, when I get married I can passthose qualities on to my kids. That’swhat really matters to me, and be-yond that I don’t want to do any-thing to make people like me moreor less.

Monica Seles just before she was stabbed in the back in Hamburg, Germany. “Idon’t want to revisit Hamburg in my head. It was not a happy thing, nor was it ahappy time,” says the tennis ace. — Pic. GAMMA

14 The Sportstar May 10, 2003

But the other thing is, I reallylove the game. I mean, I really lovetennis. And that’s helped methrough all of the struggles, it savedme from being forever sad.● At first glance, you’re right out ofthat cliché of prodigy, a la JenniferCapriati or Venus Williams —groomed from birth for greatness byambitious parents. Is that accurate?

In some ways it was very scaryfor me how well my parents handledit all. My dad wasn’t even thinkingabout me being a player. He alwaystook things one step at a time andthat aspect of his personality rubbedoff on me.

My great stroke of luck was find-ing tennis as early as I did, and itreally was by pure luck because mybrother, Zoltan (now 37), was theplayer, the talent in the family. AndI’m totally not kidding about that.He was an extremely promising ju-nior, part of the same generation asBoris (Becker) and Stefan (Edberg).My dad wanted Zoltan to be theplayer, so when I bothered them togo to the courts my father justshrugged, “Oh sure, you can comeon along with us.”

But if Zoltan had the talent, Ihad the work ethic. The experiencetaught me that if I ever had a childto coach, in the long term I wouldtake the one with the work ethicover the one with talent. I saw first-hand in Zoltan that talent will takeyou only so far. But you can’t forceit — Zoltan made his choice. Nowhe lives quietly and I respect his pri-vacy. He doesn’t want to be knownas my brother. He doesn’t want tobe in my limelight.● Was it unusual for you, a girl, tobe so interested?

Well, I was growing up in Yu-goslavia at a time when there wasno female athletes to look up to, ex-cept Mima (Jausovec). But also, ten-nis was the sport where you dressedin whites, the wealthy sport. In myhometown (Novi Sad) we had fourtennis courts and zero indoorcourts. I didn’t even set foot on areal tennis court until I was 7. Igrew up playing in a parking lot,right by the house.● Describe those circumstances —how did you get started? Seles with her mother, Ester. — Pic. GAMMA

May 10, 2003 The Sportstar 15

We lived in an apartment com-plex. My father was a professionalcartoonist. Our family was close,and sports were important. My fa-ther had been a triple-jump trackathlete, and he had a lifelong in-terest in sports.

I started tennis just hitting at thewall of the apartment house fromthe parking lot. Every day, from 6-45 a.m. until 7-15 and school time,I hit on that wall. I was alwaysthankful that the people living inthe apartment on the other side ofthat wall never complained. I meanthat.

When we built our home in Flor-ida much later, the only thing I real-ly cared about was that it have ahuge wall to hit against. To this day,at tournaments I’m most happy ifthere’s a back-boardwall. People make fun ofme about that — youcan ask (US Fed Cup cap-tain) Billie Jean King.Now, when we select asite, she always asks, “Isthere a wall there forMonica?”

For me, the wall isthe safety net. I startedplaying on one. It’s stillthe tennis time that Ilove the most. I’m by myself and Ican put on my music. You can’t dothat in a tournament. Plus, the ballalways comes back. And no one elseis talking at the other end, distract-ing you. The wall is the best.● Surely, though, there are othercomponents in your success besidesthe work ethic?

Who knows what they are? Cer-tain stuff is just given. I know Ididn’t “work” on things in my mindor my personality. I don’t overana-lyse things. I just go with how it is.I’m the same way in tennis — I dothe best I can, and I do things thesame way in a match as I do in prac-tice. I wouldn’t get too psycholog-ical. I went with my dad and Zoltanbecause I loved tennis.

Still it was great to be with Dadbecause he would draw cartooncharacters on the balls and put outtargets to hit. He knew how to maketennis fun. But my interest in thegame definitely created some con-

flicts and disagreements in my fam-ily. My mom didn’t think I should bea tennis player. We would go shop-ping and she would tell me that Ishould be doing more girl stuff,hanging out with my friends, thingslike that. My dad would say, “Well, ifMonica wants to be there practicingfor four or five hours a day, that’sher choice.”

Ultimately, my parents let medecide. In fact, I’m very thankfulthat they let me decide on just abouteverything, including hitting withtwo hands on both sides. I can’teven remember how many peoplewanted my dad to change that, andat all stages in my career, too, rightuntil I became number one. Buteven when I was very young, he al-ways just said, “ If Monica wants to

change it, she will. It’s her choice.”● Are families more alike than dif-ferent, or do they operate in reallymysterious, unpredictable ways?

I think they’re really differentand I think I really lucked out withmy parents. Everyone always hadindividual freedom to decide. Myparents always gave me informationand advice, but I always decided formyself. I learned some things thehard way, but I appreciate it be-cause I have no regrets. I never ask,“What if?” I don’t have issues withmy family at all, unlike a lot of myfriends.● Your father was in the limelightwith you; what’s your mother likebehind the pleasant visage she hasat tournaments?

She’s always been the backboneof the family. I seem to be a mix —very outgoing at times like my fa-ther, also quiet like my mother. Inthe beginning, Mom was the wor-rier, specifically about the pressure.

She’d say, “All this travel, all thiscompetition. You’re just a little girl,what’s this thing going to do to you?

She still comes to the U.S. Openand the California tournaments, butshe’s tired of hanging around lockerrooms, waiting for me. She’s done itfor so long. So she does her own lifenow. She stays behind the scenes,with her animals. We have a mini-kennel at home. My mom baby-sitstwo other dogs and pampers themjust like our own, Ariel (a Yorkshireterrier). I mean, she boils chicken forAriel! It’s just non-stop love. Sowhen we heard that Lindsay (Da-venport) named one of her rottweil-ers Zoltan, we got a kick out of that. ● You grew up as part of an ethnicminority in Yugoslavia, a nationthat no longer exists, and at various

times you’ve had to trav-el under assumednames, fearing political-ly motivated violence.What is your “official”identity?

I wouldn’t want torevisit the problemscaused by ethnic issues.My background is thatI’m Hungarian — it’s thelanguage I speak withmy mom and brother.

But really, I see myself as interna-tional. I still have friends I speak Yu-goslavian (sic) with, and I have myentire American life. So I guess I’m acombination of those three things.

It was very difficult coming toAmerica, leaving behind my friends.And then to see everything thathappened in the next few years (thebreakup of Yugoslavia and ensuingwars) — it all left an imprint on methat will stay, but I don’t like to talkabout it.

I’ve been back to the place I grewup and still have friends and familythere. I’ll spend much more timethere once I stop playing, when it’llbe easier.● Do you believe in fate?

I don’t want to answer that.Let’s say it goes too much into how Ithink, and I don’t like the readerknowing that. I’m a private personand I’ve gone to extensive lengths tokeep it that way. And I don’t have toanswer, right? That’s one of the

We lived in an apartment complex. My fatherwas a professional cartoonist. Our familywas close, and sports were important. Myfather had been a triple-jump track athlete,

and he had a lifelong interest in sports.

16 The Sportstar May 10, 2003

things that’s so great aboutAmerica.● Coming to the U.S., to the Bollet-tieri Academy, represented an en-tirely different way of life. Was it adifficult transition?

Anytime you leave home at thatyoung stage is very, very hard.You’re being shaped as a person,and all of a sudden everythingchanges — language is a night-mare, the school system is entirelydifferent… On the other hand, yousee the opportunity. For me, it wassimple: the chance to play tennis inthe winter. Imagine that!

Zoltan and I came out on kind ofa trial, for six months, when I was12. That was really hard becausewe had never been away from ourparents that long. It was one of theworst times in my life because everynight I just wanted to go home.(Seles’ parents settled in Floridawhen Monica was 13.)

We stayed in town, just outsidethe Academy, in a rented apart-ment. We had no adult supervision,no curfew, no nothing. Actually, Ihave zero memories about it exceptthat I was learning so much inschool (the Bradenton Academy)and playing tennis so much that Iwas dead tired all the time.

We would hit in the morning, goto school from 1-00 p.m. until 3-00,hit again, study, maybe do the gymor something. I remember I couldn’twait until it was Sunday.● Some of Nick’s protégés, includ-ing Jim Courier and Andre Agassi,have gone through ups and downswith Nick. What was your relation-ship with him like?

Andre had a different relation-ship with Nick than I did because bythen Andre was doing great andNick spent a lot of time travellingwith him. Nick spent time on thecourt with me, but that was it.Things got confusion because peo-ple kept saying Nick was my coach,but the only person who gets thatcredit — maybe I’m being biasedhere — is my dad.

When I first went to the Acade-my, my game went down. I was los-ing matches 6-0, 6-0 to girls likeCarrie Cunnigham who I had bea-ten before. Nick was there on court

a lot, but the one who really under-stood my game, and who I had therapport with, was my dad. Nick andhis staff took good care of me. Nickloves this game, he’s given his life toit. And that’s wonderful.● What were your father’s greattechnical assets as a coach?

He studied the game. I hate towatch tapes, but he would just dragme. It was great when I got to begood, I could just say, “I don’t haveto watch any more tapes!” My fatherwould study my opponents, studyme, and he liked using video. Hedidn’t play very well, but he couldfeed (balls) great, and his work ethicwas amazing.

To this day, whenever I have atough day or long workout I think,“Shoot, dad was 55 or 60 and hewould outlast me on the court.”Sometimes, after hitting 100 serves,you’re like, “Oh, my shoulder’s sore,that’s enough.” Not him. He wouldhit 500 balls.

He taught me all about the an-gles — I shouldn’t really go into thiswhile I’m still playing — and hewould teach me all kinds of strategy.He also was into working on phys-ical fitness and I should have lis-tened more through my career. Ireally did not want to do fitness.

I argued with him about that,and other things, too. We argued alot. But we cooled off fast because wehad similar personalities. We wouldcome in and my mother would say,“You just had this big argument,you were both like ‘Arrgggbb’ andnow you’re just fine?” And we were.That’s what was cool, and unusual.

Maybe that’s why to this day Idon’t stay mad that long. Even ifsomeone really screws me up, after alittle while I’m like, “Yeah,whatever.”● Even by accelerated “prodigy”standards, you rocketed to the topand were virtually unbeatable by1992. What was the tennis playerof that era like, and what was it liketo have that aura?

You know, I don’t like to lookback too much, not while I’m play-ing, anyway. It’s too scary. But theconsistency I had — to lose just oneor two matches in a whole year —that was pretty cool. But I worked

very hard for it, and I was totallyfocused. Winning tennis matcheswas my life, and to be honest every-thing fell just the right way for me inthat period. It was my life.

But this idea out there that Ididn’t think I could lose, that I justwalked out there full of confidence,that’s inaccurate. I had the samemental stuff then I have now. Ithought before every match: I’m go-ing to lose. It was even worse when Iwent a few months just winningand then lost a match. It was like,“Oh my God! What’s going to hap-pen now?”

I’ve always said that I don’t real-ly enjoy the competing part. I al-ways found it very difficult to go outand really want to kill that otherperson. In that sense, my persona onthe court is probably the opposite ofhow I am in life. Off the court, I’mnot competitive at all — you can askanyone. Games, celebrity tennis, Icouldn’t care less. It’s only on thecourt, in an official match, that thecompetitor comes out.● Who do you really admire in ten-nis, male or female?

I always said this: Suzanne Len-

May 10, 2003 The Sportstar 17

Seles with a kid inflicted by cancer. —Pic. GAMMA

glen and Maureen Conolly. Eachone did very different things for thegame. But the big influence on mewere Billie Jean King and MartinaNavratilova. I had a poster of Marti-na over my bed as a little girl. Ofcourse, my choices were limited be-cause we could only get one maga-zine, and we had to get it from Italy.Billie Jean I only came to knowthrough Fed Cup as my captainsince 1996, and now I realise themagnitude of what that woman hasdone.● Are there signature Monica Seles’tennis performances in your memo-ry bank?

You know, in Rome, 1990, Ibeat Martina (Navratilova) like oneand one. That was one of my bestmatches ever, in that I couldn’t missa ball. The five-set final in the Vir-ginia Slims Championships againstGabby (Gabriela Sabatini) at Madi-son Square Garden, that stands out.And for sure when I beat Steffi (Graf)to win my first Grand Slam. But on-ly because it was my first major.

When I came back, at Torontoin 1995, that first match against

Kim Po was tough. I hadn’t playedin a long time, the tour was differ-ent, I was so nervous. I rememberthat dogfight I had with Jennifer(Capriati) at the ’91 U.S. Open.There were times in that matchwhen even I just closed my eyes for amoment and thought, “Wow, this iscool. OK, back to it.”

You can’t afford to do that, toenjoy it, as a player. The game goestoo fast. You have to banish every-thing else from your mind. But attimes, you can’t help it.● What were the pluses and minus-es of growing up in the public eye?

The big plus is that you get expe-riences and meet people like mostpeople don’t. The minus is that youcan get a big head if you’re not care-ful. You can get caught up in howwonderful you are, all that stuff. It’shard sometimes in that situation toknow who your friends are, whoyou can trust.

So you need to know what youwant because tennis is a tough in-dustry, a non-stop industry. Youdon’t get to pause, rest, or reflect toomuch. But the way of life can giveyou great discipline, and that’s thekey to whatever you do. Tennistaught me that when I give myword, it’s a real commitment and Ihave to keep it.● At the height of your power, be-fore the incident in Hamburg, youwere variously described as a “Ma-donna wannabe” and a capricious“mystery girl” wrapping tennisaround her finger. Was the percep-tion accurate?

A few things happened all atonce, it was weird.

I skipped that Wimbledon (in’91, Seles pulled out expectedlywithout explaining that she hadshin splints). The press made a hugeissue out of it, and for the first time Iexperienced their power. It was ahuge controversy and the rumoursand accusations were flying. Theysaid I thought I was bigger than thegame, I wanted to be a starlet andnot a tennis player, my hitting part-ner had made me pregnant. Some ofthat was really hurtful.

When I made my comeback (atan exhibition in Mahwah, New Jer-sey) a few weeks later, I was totally

unprepared for the circus-like atmo-sphere. My mom always said Ilacked self-confidence, maybe she’sright. It was a little naïve of me, forsure, not to see that coming. It mademe realise how big I was in the pub-lic eye.

In perspective, I was a 16-year-old on top of the tennis world. I likedfashion and I was outgoing, it wasquite a mixture. Also, I would saystuff like. “I’m going to get a Lam-borghini.” You know, it was kind offantasy. I never really wanted one, Ijust maybe saw one and thought it’dbe cool to have one so I said it.

Also, my tennis was so good butthere was no crazy father, no con-troversial boyfriend.

Everything was very smooth, ve-ry private. The only thing out therewas that I was colouring my hair,and I wanted a Lamborghini. Theonly other player I’ve seen goingthrough anything like that has beenAnna (Kournikova), and she’s dif-ferent from me.

I never got into playing thatgame or doing things for the press.But I did enjoy some of it. If I was inMilan and I happened to say I want-ed to go to a fashion show, boom,the next thing they’d call up Armaniand you’re at the fashion show. As akid, you think, “Oh wow!”

It’s crazy, you meet people andthey give you their telephone num-ber right away and say they’ll doanything for you. When you’re thatyoung and impressionable, every-thing goes fast. Everybody wantsyou. And it’s fun. Why not?

So at times when I regret nothaving been a “normal” teenagerwho went to the prom, I remind my-self that at that age I could go to anyconcert and meet the musicians af-terward. And that was just because Iwas Monica Seles.● What role does music play in yourlife?

It’s huge, I love music. My fa-vourite is Motown, all the songs thatcame out of Detroit. I would haveloved to be a singer — if only I had avoice.● What did it tell you about youroccupation and your peers when,after the stabbing, Gabriela Sabatiniwas the only player who voted to

18 The Sportstar May 10, 2003

freeze and hold your top ranking?It made me realise tennis is a

business. You have no friends. Theother players, they’re just waiting totake away your number-one spot, inany way, shape, or form they can.That’s what they did. But I’m notbitter.

What Gabby did affected me somuch. Everything comes and goes,there’s always going to be a newnumber one, or someone makingmore in a new contract. But whatyou are at you core, the most impor-tant thing about you, that doesn’tchange. Gabby was someone whoforgot fame, career, money, every-thing else, and just cared about meas a person. It took strength andcharacter for her to do what she did.It couldn’t have been easy.● It was a deranged fan of Steffi Grafwho stabbed you, yet you felt Grafwas somewhat callous to the sit-uation. Have you forgiven her?

I don’t want to go back into that.Her tennis career has been amazing.What can I say there? We’re alwaysgoing to be linked together becauseof that incident. Her career changedbecause of it, and mine changed be-cause of it. We went on differentpaths since that date. But the rela-tionship didn’t really end in ruins.When I see her, we speak, even if wedon’t talk that deep. I’m happy tosee her happy with Andre and theirbaby.● What world figures, artistic orotherwise, would you most like toknow?

Nelson Mandela and, before shepassed away, Mother Teresa… alsoAudrey Hepburn. U2. I have a lot ofrespect for the band because theytruly give back. Athletes, musicians,we’re so lucky. We make so much,yet so many people in importantjobs are struggling. It’s just a reallyweird system.● How important is the money,both as motivator and as somethingto have?

At this stage, money’s not thatimportant. But in the beginning, Ialways worried about financial se-curity. We had a nice upper-middle-class life in Yugoslavia. Then, com-ing to America, it was a night andday difference. The currency, the

standard of living, it was somuch more expensive. Ijust wanted to make surethat after risking every-thing to come here my par-ents wouldn’t have toworry about money.

The hardship motiva-tes. Your want to makesure you’re safe. You hearstories like my grandpar-ents told, about having ev-erything taken away, andyou can get paranoid. No-body is going to come takeit away here, although Iguess you never know forsure.

I was never the personto spend what I earned. Ido some of my own invest-ments. I take a small per-centage of my assets andmanage them, learning.But mostly, my managers(IMG) do it.

Ideally, if you everhave children you wantthem not to have to worry about themoney, but I don’t believe in givinganyone a silver spoon. At a certainlevel, money can ruin things. I’mjust very happy not thinking aboutit too much. I have the same friends,the same house, even the same car. Istill drive a 1992 Ford Explorer. Seewhat I mean when I say I never re-ally wanted the Lamborghini?● For all of your longevity, you nev-er quite got back to the form of1993. Why not?

I’ve thought about that morethan once. The toughest thing forme was that I did very well comingback in 1995 and in the beginningof ’96. For someone to put down theracquet for two and a half years — Ididn’t do a thing, not one hit, notone run — and in just one monthreturn to the top, that was great.But it also was an invitation toinjury.

After I won the Australian Openin ’96, I had a pretty serious shoul-der injury. I didn’t even start prac-ticing until just two weeks beforeRoland Garros, and I had probablymy worst French Open (Seles lost inthe quarterfinals to Jana Novotna).Later in the year I lost in the final of

the U.S. Open, and then I injured afoot. I did it running, because, I wastrying to lose weight. Then, onChristmas Day, my father was diag-nosed with cancer of the stomach.

The next two years were veryhard, on my mind, not on tennis.What we went through as a familywas tough enough and whoknows…. I’m not saying that if mydad were alive today. I’d be numberone, but he was the glue to my ten-nis. I know I would have had a bet-ter career if he were there the wholetime.

The thing is, he was just 64when he died. And yeah, he was mydad. But he was my best friend, too,and my coach. We had an extreme-ly close relationship, but separatelives. He filled so many roles in mylife that when I look back I’mamazed at how well I did when hewas ill. And I’m just proud that I’vecome out of it. It didn’t put me intoheavy depression or stuff like that.

The thing is, you need that oneperson. You look at Jennifer, Venusand Serena. Martina (Hingis). All of

“I’m very thankful that my parents letme decide on just about everything,including hitting with two hands onboth sides,” says Seles. — Pic. AP

May 10, 2003 The Sportstar 19

them have that one person who justis there, and it doesn’t have to be thegreatest person on earth as long asyou know they want what’s best foryou. And you can’t buy that kind oftrust, not from the most talentedcoach.

For me, that person, my father,was taken at a very young age forboth of us.● What’s been the hardest part ofkeeping up your standard of play?

My coaching situation. My daddied when I was 24, with a lot ofyears left. I don’t really measureanyone else against my father, thatwouldn’t be fair to the other coach.But I miss the continuity and thework ethic. It’s just different withsomeone you’ve had from the be-ginning. I’ve told Martina (Hingis),“You’re so lucky to have your mom,that’s special.” Right now I don’teven have a coach and I’m not sureI need one. But I do need someone tohit with.● Where were you on 9/11 andhow did it affect you?

I was in Brazil Gosh. Thank GodI didn’t have to play, I don’t think Icould have. We were in Bahia, themost removed place in the world.All we had on TV was CNN in Por-

tuguese. After the plane went in,they showed footage of people jump-ing, everything. But it didn’t changethe way I live. I learned a long timeago that you have to stay in the mo-ment because there’s no guaranteeyou’ll be here tomorrow. That’swhy it’s so important that if you’reunhappy doing something and real-ly want to do something else, try forit no matter how hard it is. It’s hardadvice and I don’t always follow itmyself, but in the ideal world….● You’ve mentioned babies a num-ber of times in this conversation, soI feel I can bring up the subject. Doyou want them?

Oh, almost all my friends havekids now. There’s a lot of themaround, it’s pretty advance. But Idon’t feel I need to be married orhave a family to be complete. I see itas a natural transition that, if it hap-pens for me one day, great. If not, I’llbe godmother to a lot of kids. That’sgood too.● What do you consider your great-est achievement in tennis?

I don’t feel I had one. Seriously. Iplayed the game, I loved the game. Ireally, truly, don’t care about histo-ry. I don’t care about the titles. I feelso fortunate to play a game that Iloved that also got me money andfame, the chance to see the world.But what would be in my obtituary?I have no idea.

The one thing I hope, though, isthat the kids get a sense that I lovethe game. And please get the mess-age out to kids. The only reason toplay is because you love to. It’s notbecause you want to make a milliondollars. Not because you want to beon the cover of a magazine. Youshould play because the first thingyou want to do in the morning is goout and hit that ball. I don’t know ifthat comes through when I’m play-ing a match, because maybe I’mgrunting or making faces. But I’mloving what I’m doing, and that’sjust why I’m there.

Even though, by 10, I alreadywas number one in the under-18s, Inever felt, “Oh, one day I’m going tobe number one.” I just loved to play.I wasn’t, as they say, “groomed tobe a champion,” at least not untilwe moved to Bradenton, by which

time I already was a champion.Tennis today is changing and re-

aching a different audience. A lot ofpeople see the glamour girls in thegame and it’s fine wanting to looklike that. But few people were bornto be really skinny or to have abeautiful face. Others see the moneyand want to get rich. But few peopleget rich from tennis. In the end, ifyou’re going to play, you’d betterlove the game.

Also, I believe I play fair. Youhave to play the game fair. Be mind-ful of how you treat an opponent,don’t weasel around trying to ma-nipulate any given situation, or therules.● What was the most importantthing tennis gave you, and the mostimportant thing it took away?

Tennis gave me freedom to dowhatever I wanted. If I stopped afterI was stabbed, I would have beenfine for the rest of my life. What ittook away was some of my child-hood. Maybe I had to grow up a lit-tle too fast.● Are you as passionate about any-thing else in life as tennis?

That will be the challenge for mein the future. But I love horses, Ilove water, I love kids and workingwith them. I’ll need to do some-thing. I can’t just go home and goshopping with my friends. I lovehaving a schedule, and for most ofmy life. I’ve had a hectic one. I can’tfunction without one.

When I first came on the tour, Iloved being the star. I loved thebuzz, I loved meeting the celebrities.But one day you’re not the star any-more, and my ego can deal withthat.

That’s not on my list of things toworry about, but this is, this is thescary one. What is going to be thething I love to do as much a astennis?● Is life fair?

I don’t go into that stuff. I don’twant to go into the past. I’m justhappy to be in the moment, to live inthe present. Life is simplified. I mayhave problems, but I’m dealing withthem better. If I was going to go anydeeper into that question. I’d need tobe drinking a glass of wine, and Idon’t drink at this altitude.” ■