interpersonal, resilient, respectful … priceless! teaching the qualities employers want that are...

Interpersonal, Resilient, Interpersonal, Resilient,

Respectful …Respectful … PRICELESS!PRICELESS!Teaching the Qualities Employers Teaching the Qualities Employers Want that are Hardest to TeachWant that are Hardest to Teach

Bob Orndorff – Penn State UniversityBob Orndorff – Penn State University

Careers Conference – January 25, 2010Careers Conference – January 25, 2010

Key to Professional Success at all Stages:Key to Professional Success at all Stages:

Heightened Self-AwarenessHeightened Self-Awareness • Choosing a career Choosing a career (interests, skills)(interests, skills)

• Getting a job Getting a job (selling points)(selling points)

• Succeeding on the job Succeeding on the job (success factors)(success factors)

• Being an Effective LeaderBeing an Effective Leader (3-culture study) (3-culture study)

Self-Awareness & Self-Awareness & ManagementManagement

• Shipper et al (2003): Shipper et al (2003): International Journal of International Journal of Organizational Analysis:Organizational Analysis: More self-aware managers More self-aware managers rated as more effective managers in 3 cultures rated as more effective managers in 3 cultures (United States, United Kingdom, Malaysia)(United States, United Kingdom, Malaysia)

• Key to All Success = Being realistic and honest Key to All Success = Being realistic and honest with who we are – strengths & weaknesseswith who we are – strengths & weaknesses

• Watch this clip from our Seinfeld Friends as an Watch this clip from our Seinfeld Friends as an example of NOT being realistic or self-aware…example of NOT being realistic or self-aware…

The 7 Success FactorsThe 7 Success Factors

• Communication SkillsCommunication Skills

• Interpersonal SkillsInterpersonal Skills

• TeamworkTeamwork

• Honesty & IntegrityHonesty & Integrity

• Strong Work EthicStrong Work Ethic

• Motivation/InitiativeMotivation/Initiative

• Managing AdversityManaging Adversity

NACE Job Outlook Surveys, 2001 – 2010

5-Part Training 5-Part Training SeminarSeminar

Activities & Demo’s along the Activities & Demo’s along the wayway

1.1. Becoming Interpersonally StrongBecoming Interpersonally Strong

2.2. Managing Interpersonal AdversityManaging Interpersonal Adversity

3.3. Cultivating TeamworkCultivating Teamwork

4.4. Building CharacterBuilding Character

5.5. Marketing the Soft SkillsMarketing the Soft Skills

The Importance of Interpersonal The Importance of Interpersonal SkillsSkills

• 94% Training Executives confirm 94% Training Executives confirm importance importance

• Top two Skills in NACE’s surveysTop two Skills in NACE’s surveys

““Interpersonal Interpersonal Effectiveness”Effectiveness”

… a simple definition:… a simple definition:

““Treating people in a way Treating people in a way that makes them feel special that makes them feel special

or appreciated.”or appreciated.”

Interpersonal Interpersonal AFFECTAFFECT

““They may not remember what you said or They may not remember what you said or what you did, but they’ll always what you did, but they’ll always remember the way you made them feel.”remember the way you made them feel.”

--Unknown--Unknown

Special Special TreatmentTreatment

• The little things matterThe little things matter

• Chris’s Ice Tea & Tom the mortgage Chris’s Ice Tea & Tom the mortgage guyguy

• Fleck’s Head Tilt and “REALLY?”Fleck’s Head Tilt and “REALLY?”

• Steve Rothrock’s special hand-shakeSteve Rothrock’s special hand-shake

Building RelationshipsBuilding Relationships

• What comes to mind as the most What comes to mind as the most important interpersonal quality in building important interpersonal quality in building positive relationships?positive relationships?

• Why?Why?

Interpersonal Foundation:Interpersonal Foundation:

Building Blocks for Strong RelationshipsBuilding Blocks for Strong Relationships

•Read the environmentRead the environment

•Be sensitive to feelings of Be sensitive to feelings of othersothers

•Respect differencesRespect differences

•Confront tactfullyConfront tactfully

•Be genuine and consistentBe genuine and consistent

•Actively ListenActively Listen

ACTIVITYACTIVITYWriting a Letter of Writing a Letter of RecommendationRecommendation

PENNSYLVANIA SYSTEM OF SCHOOL ASSESSMENTFall 2005GRADE 6

WRITING PROMPT SHEET

PROMPT #2You will have one class period (but no more than 60 minutes if your class is longer)

to plan, write and proofread your response, making any necessary corrections .

READ THE ENTIRE PROMPT CAREFULLY

As you write your paper, remember to:- Clearly state your opinion about the topic- Include specific facts, details, reasons, and/or examples to convince the city officials.- Present your ideas in a clear and logical order, including and introduction, body and conclusion - Use a variety of words and well - constructed sentences to create tone and voice.- Correct errors in capitalization, punctuation, sentence formation, spelling and usage.

A friend/peer has asked you to write a letter of recommendation for the position of Director of Public Relations. Write to persuade the CEO of the company to hire your co–worker because of the interpersonal skills he possesses.

Introduction

Scott – best man for the job – great interpersonal skills. He’s conscientious, active listener, humble, great sense of humor.

T.S.He’s conscientious

D (Prove it)Time I broke my leg

D (Prove it)

Helped kids on the bus

D (Prove it) Named president asked

Jeremy to be VP C.S.

Understands people’s feelings

T.S.

Active Listener

DAsked about parents’ divorce

DAlways had time, his issues aside

D Follow – up questions C.S.Listens and makes me laugh

T.S.Humble and great sense of humor

DTeam captain, gets A’s, never brags

DLaughs at himself

DConcussion from football

C.S.Nothing bad said about him

Conclusion

Scott – right man for the job – Good fit into your company and the dept. of PR. Gets along with everyone.

To whom it may concern:Being asked to write a letter for Scott Hess is a compliment that fills me with a great sense of pride. This

young man has been a classmate and friend of mine for the past 10 years, and we have shared many positive experiences together. Because of Scott’s exemplary interpersonal skills, he has a special talent of bringing the best out in people, and that is what he has done for me. I know he would bring the best out of any employee or client you have for many reasons.

First and foremost, Scott is a very conscientious person who truly cares about people and their feelings. Whenever I have had a problem in the past, Scott volunteered to take me to my appointments. In my junior year I broke my leg skiing and couldn’t drive, so Scott volunteered to take me to every one of my doctor’s appointments after school. The doctor’s office was completely in the other end of town, but he never complained. Another example of Scott’s sensitivity is the time when students were “picking on” a shy student on the bus, and Scott intervened and coaxed everyone stop. This leader started sitting beside the younger boy on a daily basis and the timid freshman was never was hassled again. When Scott won the close student counsel election, President Hess asked his ex – opponent (who was devastated by the tough loss) if she would like to work with him as vice – president to soften the blow. The new V.P. and he work very well as a team. When it comes to knowing people and their feelings, Scott has a six – sense.

Because of Scott’s caring attitude, he wants to know and listen to the daily problems that people have and does all of the correct things an active listener should do. As a result of his caring attitude, he asks people constantly how they are, and he, unlike other peers of mine, actually sticks around for the answer. For example, when my parents were going through their divorce, Scott could tell the times I was “down in the dumps”. He constantly pushed his issues aside and would stop me in the halls to talk about my problem with me. I could always tell he was listening because he would always ask follow – up questions and make statements that pertained to my difficult situation. He would always make me feel better with a joke or a kind word after I was done pouring my emotions out to him.

The combination of his great sense humor and his unique humility makes Scott a wonderful person without knowing it. He has the humble ability to laugh at himself without sounding or seeming insecure. One time he received a concussion in a football game and he said that it was his fault. “ A dumb guy like me shouldn’t use his head too much, especially for tackling 230 pound running backs,” he stated chuckling. His unique humor supported by his humbleness, are a great one – two punch for Scott’s terrific personality. As a result of these two assets, I have never heard one person say one bad comment about him.

Great companies need great people who have wonderful interpersonal skills like Scott Hess. He would be a wonderful addition for any “arm” of a business, but I see him excelling in your company’s public relations department because of the wonderful people skills he possesses.

Sincerely, Rich Hunter

Let’s focus in on the most Let’s focus in on the most underrated interpersonal underrated interpersonal

skill:skill:

• Actively ListenActively Listen• More important now than More important now than everever• EXERCISE: 3 – 1 in middleEXERCISE: 3 – 1 in middle

Evidence for Importance of Evidence for Importance of ListeningListening

• Haas and Arnold (1995) Listening plays a Haas and Arnold (1995) Listening plays a central role in how coworkers assess one central role in how coworkers assess one another’s communication effectiveness another’s communication effectiveness

• Interruptions in the course of listening by Interruptions in the course of listening by professionals had negative consequences professionals had negative consequences for how they were perceived and how for how they were perceived and how much information they obtained (Nyquist much information they obtained (Nyquist 1996, McComb & Jablin, 1984)1996, McComb & Jablin, 1984)

Components of Good Components of Good ListeningListening

• Attending: Clearing mind, full commitment Attending: Clearing mind, full commitment (Ex: Emailing while listening)(Ex: Emailing while listening)

• Patience: Waiting for speaker to finishPatience: Waiting for speaker to finish• Stay Focused on Talker, and DON’T BEGIN:Stay Focused on Talker, and DON’T BEGIN:

– Rehearsing: Your attention is on preparing your Rehearsing: Your attention is on preparing your next commentnext comment

– Identifying: You are busy thinking about your Identifying: You are busy thinking about your similar experiences similar experiences

• Non-verbal awareness: eye contact, face the Non-verbal awareness: eye contact, face the person, noddingperson, nodding

• Active Listening: Contrary to Bud ad, Active Listening: Contrary to Bud ad, paraphrasing feelings and thoughtsparaphrasing feelings and thoughts– follow-up questionsfollow-up questions

ACTIVITYACTIVITYPractice Active Practice Active ListeningListening•Pair UPPair UP

•Take turns telling partner about Take turns telling partner about your favorite hobby or leisure your favorite hobby or leisure activityactivity

•Listener: Utilize the Listener: Utilize the “Components of Good Listening” “Components of Good Listening” slide (I’ll put it up on the screen)slide (I’ll put it up on the screen)

Components of Good Components of Good ListeningListening

• Attending: Clearing mind, full commitment Attending: Clearing mind, full commitment (Ex: Emailing while listening)(Ex: Emailing while listening)

• Patience: Waiting for speaker to finishPatience: Waiting for speaker to finish• Stay Focused on Talker, and DON’T BEGIN:Stay Focused on Talker, and DON’T BEGIN:

– Rehearsing: Your attention is on preparing your Rehearsing: Your attention is on preparing your next commentnext comment

– Identifying: You are busy thinking about your Identifying: You are busy thinking about your similar experiences similar experiences

• Non-verbal awareness: eye contact, face the Non-verbal awareness: eye contact, face the person, noddingperson, nodding

• Active Listening: Contrary to Bud ad, Active Listening: Contrary to Bud ad, paraphrasing feelings and thoughtsparaphrasing feelings and thoughts– follow-up questionsfollow-up questions

Big Group Big Group DiscussionDiscussion

•When you were the talker: What did When you were the talker: What did it feel like to be actively listened to?it feel like to be actively listened to?

•When you were the listener: What When you were the listener: What did it feel like to actively listen?did it feel like to actively listen?

•Does listening help build positive Does listening help build positive interpersonal relationships?interpersonal relationships?

•How can we get students to How can we get students to become better listeners?become better listeners?

Relevant ResearchRelevant Research

•Your Personality can get you fired Your Personality can get you fired more than job performancemore than job performance

•Fools Vs. JerksFools Vs. Jerks

•Leadership – Nice Guys Finish First Leadership – Nice Guys Finish First

•The Problem PITAThe Problem PITA

–PPain ain IIn n TThe he AAssss

•The Good PITAThe Good PITA –PProfessionals rofessionals IIncreasing ncreasing TTheir heir AAwarenesswareness

•The PITA Metaphor = Brings levityThe PITA Metaphor = Brings levity

•You can adjust the language to be You can adjust the language to be more appropriate for kids/teensmore appropriate for kids/teens–Use the words that describe each PITA Use the words that describe each PITA

The 7 Types of The 7 Types of PITAs PITAs

in the Workplacein the Workplace

•Closed off and defensiveClosed off and defensive

•Not open to criticism; Deflects negative Not open to criticism; Deflects negative feedbackfeedback

•Doesn’t own deficit areas; insecureDoesn’t own deficit areas; insecure– Has difficulty accepting weaknesses in staff Has difficulty accepting weaknesses in staff

reviewsreviews

•Blames others during conflicts; not their faultBlames others during conflicts; not their fault

•Famous Sealed PITAsFamous Sealed PITAs– Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane (Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane (CheersCheers))– Angela Martin (Angela Martin (The OfficeThe Office))– Marie Barone (Marie Barone (Everybody Loves RaymondEverybody Loves Raymond))

•The Sealed PITA Theme Song: Know any?The Sealed PITA Theme Song: Know any?

•Self-absorbed; full of himselfSelf-absorbed; full of himself

•Attention hungry; always in the limelightAttention hungry; always in the limelight

•Aggressively Self-promotingAggressively Self-promoting

•Boastful and conceited Boastful and conceited

•Famous Overstuffed PITAsFamous Overstuffed PITAs– Alex P. Keaton (Alex P. Keaton (Family TiesFamily Ties))– Dr. Frasier Crane (Dr. Frasier Crane (Cheers/FrasierCheers/Frasier))– Donald Trump (Donald Trump (The ApprenticeThe Apprentice))

•The Overstuffed PITA Theme Song: Know any?The Overstuffed PITA Theme Song: Know any?

•DisorganizedDisorganized•Doesn’t attend to Detail; Not preciseDoesn’t attend to Detail; Not precise•Thoughts and ideas are all over the placeThoughts and ideas are all over the place

– Unclear and not concise in explaining thingsUnclear and not concise in explaining things•Doesn’t follow through Doesn’t follow through •Famous Sloppy PITAsFamous Sloppy PITAs

– Oscar Madison (Oscar Madison (The Odd CoupleThe Odd Couple))– Randolph Dupree (Randolph Dupree (You, Me, and DupreeYou, Me, and Dupree))– Del Griffith (Del Griffith (Planes, Trains and AutomobilesPlanes, Trains and Automobiles))

•The Sloppy PITA Theme Song: Know any?The Sloppy PITA Theme Song: Know any?

•Negative and Cynical; mean-spiritedNegative and Cynical; mean-spirited•Growls at the world; GrouchyGrowls at the world; Grouchy•Cuts down ideas & bad-mouths peopleCuts down ideas & bad-mouths people•Sees the glass half-empty; Pessimistic Sees the glass half-empty; Pessimistic •Famous Crusty PITAsFamous Crusty PITAs

– Archie Bunker (Archie Bunker (All in the FamilyAll in the Family))– Al Bundy (Al Bundy (Married with ChildrenMarried with Children))– Roseanne Conner (Roseanne Conner (RoseanneRoseanne))

•The Crusty PITA Theme Song: Know any?The Crusty PITA Theme Song: Know any?

•Whiny, constantly complainingWhiny, constantly complaining•Needy, High MaintenanceNeedy, High Maintenance

– Needs to process unpleasant occurrences Needs to process unpleasant occurrences •Afraid of confronting issues head-onAfraid of confronting issues head-on•Needs a lot of reassurance Needs a lot of reassurance •Famous Soggy PITAsFamous Soggy PITAs

– George Costanza (George Costanza (SeinfeldSeinfeld))– Ally McBeal (Ally McBeal (Ally McBealAlly McBeal))– Ross Geller (Ross Geller (FriendsFriends))

•The Soggy PITA Theme Song: Know any?The Soggy PITA Theme Song: Know any?

•Picky and particular; perfectionistPicky and particular; perfectionist•Stubborn – digs in deep and holds groundStubborn – digs in deep and holds ground•Inflexible and rigid; tightInflexible and rigid; tight•Not willing to compromiseNot willing to compromise•Famous Rigid PITAsFamous Rigid PITAs

– Sally Albright (Sally Albright (When Harry Met SallyWhen Harry Met Sally))– Felix Ungar (Felix Ungar (The Odd CoupleThe Odd Couple))– Monica Gellar (Monica Gellar (FriendsFriends))

•The Rigid PITA Theme Song: Know any?The Rigid PITA Theme Song: Know any?

•Spoiled; got everything handed to himSpoiled; got everything handed to him

•Entitled; deserves everything now Entitled; deserves everything now

•Self-centered; ego-centricSelf-centered; ego-centric

•Oblivious to how others see himOblivious to how others see him

•Famous Royal PITAsFamous Royal PITAs– Charlie Harper (Charlie Harper (Two and a Half MenTwo and a Half Men))– Sharpay Evans (Sharpay Evans (High School MusicalHigh School Musical))– Ferris Bueller (Ferris Bueller (Ferris Bueller’s Day OffFerris Bueller’s Day Off))

•The Royal PITA Theme Song: Know any?The Royal PITA Theme Song: Know any?

A combination of two or A combination of two or more types of PITAsmore types of PITAs

EXAMPLE: Crusty-Rigid EXAMPLE: Crusty-Rigid PITAPITA

Now that you’ve learned Now that you’ve learned about the different types of about the different types of

PITAS …PITAS …

We’re now going to move We’re now going to move into ways of dealing with into ways of dealing with

adversity in the workplaceadversity in the workplace

Revise Work Scenario to Revise Work Scenario to Apply more to StudentsApply more to Students

• We’ll go through this case study as it were We’ll go through this case study as it were for you as adults in the workplace, but …for you as adults in the workplace, but …

• Could make this a school activity rather Could make this a school activity rather than a work/professional development than a work/professional development activityactivity

• Discussion questions would be tailored to Discussion questions would be tailored to a student audiencea student audience

• Again, you could easily take out any Again, you could easily take out any inappropriate languageinappropriate language

Breakout Discussion Breakout Discussion QuestionsQuestions

• What makes Albert such a PITA to work with?What makes Albert such a PITA to work with?

• What are some coping strategies to work more What are some coping strategies to work more effectively with a Crusty PITA?effectively with a Crusty PITA?

• You’re now the supervisor of this Crusty PITA: How You’re now the supervisor of this Crusty PITA: How would you coach the PITA in your work scenario to be would you coach the PITA in your work scenario to be less Crusty? less Crusty?

• From the other 6 types of PITAs (refer to handout), From the other 6 types of PITAs (refer to handout), which PITA is most difficult for YOU to work with? Why?which PITA is most difficult for YOU to work with? Why?

• What PITA tendency do What PITA tendency do YOUYOU have that has the potential have that has the potential for hurting a team? (the good PITA!) for hurting a team? (the good PITA!) – What have you done, or what can you do to keep it What have you done, or what can you do to keep it

in check? in check? – At least one volunteer per groupAt least one volunteer per group

So how can we Cope with So how can we Cope with PITAs?PITAs?• We’d need another whole session to We’d need another whole session to

discuss the coping strategies for discuss the coping strategies for each type of PITA … because you each type of PITA … because you need to deal with each type of PITA need to deal with each type of PITA differentlydifferently

• There are detailed coping strategies There are detailed coping strategies in our bookin our book

Here are some general Here are some general Tips Tips for coping with PITAsfor coping with PITAs

• Rise above it … it’s not about you, it’s about Rise above it … it’s not about you, it’s about them; Don’t get defensive (ex. Car pulls out)them; Don’t get defensive (ex. Car pulls out)

• Be respectful and kind; use honey, not Be respectful and kind; use honey, not vinegar; two wrongs don’t make a rightvinegar; two wrongs don’t make a right

• Be willing to compromise: lose a battle once Be willing to compromise: lose a battle once in a while to win the warin a while to win the war

• Address the PITAs directly without putting Address the PITAs directly without putting them on the defensive; need to confront!them on the defensive; need to confront!

• Consult with a trusted coworker or supervisor Consult with a trusted coworker or supervisor when you’re not getting anywhere when you’re not getting anywhere

So what can we do about So what can we do about our our PITA Tendencies?PITA Tendencies?• Own your PITA Tendencies … you’re halfway Own your PITA Tendencies … you’re halfway

there!there!

• Identify work situations and/or people that Identify work situations and/or people that tend to bring these tendencies outtend to bring these tendencies out

• Determine ways to keep your PITA Determine ways to keep your PITA tendencies in checktendencies in check

• Make concrete adjustmentsMake concrete adjustments– EXAMPLE: 3 Overstuffed PITAs at a Q & A EXAMPLE: 3 Overstuffed PITAs at a Q & A

sessionsession

Closing RemarksClosing Remarks•Don’t write any of your colleagues offDon’t write any of your colleagues off

– They’re human beings and worth the effortThey’re human beings and worth the effort

•There are good things that come There are good things that come from every type of PITA … even the from every type of PITA … even the Crusty (refreshing)Crusty (refreshing)– Ex. Chicken Debris Ex. Chicken Debris

•Appreciate and Respect Differences Appreciate and Respect Differences among your coworkers … we’re all so among your coworkers … we’re all so different …different …

ACTIVITYACTIVITYAssessing Interpersonal Assessing Interpersonal

Skills and Ability to Manage Skills and Ability to Manage Adversity Through Peer Adversity Through Peer

EvaluationEvaluation

PEER FEEDBACKReflect on your peer’s interpersonal skills and ability to manage adversity (constructive criticism).

1. “What is one aspect you like about your writing?”

A. Did she/he use great interpersonal skills to answer the question? Which specific skills did he/she use?

B. Were they humble when they talked about what they liked about his/her writing. (Humility)

C. Did your peer use eye contact while speaking with you? (Communication + listening skills)

D. Was your peer’s answer clearly stated? (communication skills)

2. “One aspect of your writing you need to improve would be ____________________”

A. How would you say this in a tactful way? (Tact + Diplomacy)

B. How did your peer “handle” this constructive criticism? (Open mindedness)

C. While she/he was talking how many times did you catch yourself drifting? (Active listening)

D. Did you reel yourself back into the conversation (active listener)

E. Did you use follow – up questions or comments to prove to your peer that you were listening? (active listener)

F. How did your peer show that she was listening to you? (Active listener)

G. Did you end positively? (Handshake and a smile)

Qualities of a “Team Player”Qualities of a “Team Player”

• DISCUSS and SHARE QualitiesDISCUSS and SHARE Qualities

• Believes in the common goals of Believes in the common goals of the team or schoolthe team or school

• Works effectively together with Works effectively together with other team membersother team members

• Is unselfishIs unselfish

• Subordinates his or her own part Subordinates his or her own part or self interests for the teamor self interests for the team

How to Become a Team How to Become a Team PlayerPlayer• Use your interpersonal skillsUse your interpersonal skills• Value the differences among Value the differences among

teammates (styles, skills, etc.)teammates (styles, skills, etc.)– Diversity makes teams stronger!Diversity makes teams stronger!– Basketball Team exampleBasketball Team example

• Respect your coworkers and address Respect your coworkers and address issues/concerns directlyissues/concerns directly– Bad Example: email tattlingBad Example: email tattling

• Managing conflicts well is the Managing conflicts well is the ultimate team player …ultimate team player …

Managing Managing ConflictsConflicts

•Have the courage to confrontHave the courage to confront•Know WHERE & WHEN to ConfrontKnow WHERE & WHEN to Confront

– DISCUSSION on where & whenDISCUSSION on where & when

•Know HOW to confrontKnow HOW to confront– DISCUSSION on how DISCUSSION on how

•The effects of hitting someone The effects of hitting someone below the belt can last a very long below the belt can last a very long time …time …– The FenceThe Fence

TEAMWORK TEAMWORK EXERCISEEXERCISE

Teamwork Teamwork ExerciseExercise

• I need 11 VolunteersI need 11 Volunteers• Assign 1 “Grid Master” (GM)Assign 1 “Grid Master” (GM)• Audience = Teamwork Observers (TO)Audience = Teamwork Observers (TO)• All remaining 10 Team Players must figure All remaining 10 Team Players must figure

out the chosen path and move from one out the chosen path and move from one side of the grid to the other – one at a time side of the grid to the other – one at a time … WITHOUT TALKING… WITHOUT TALKING

• GM will “Whistle” you when you step on a GM will “Whistle” you when you step on a square that’s NOT on the pathsquare that’s NOT on the path

• TO’s will watch for and record both positive TO’s will watch for and record both positive and negative teamwork characteristics and negative teamwork characteristics among Team Playersamong Team Players

DiscussionDiscussionTeamwork ExerciseTeamwork Exercise• Highlights from Team PlayersHighlights from Team Players

– Describe what it was likeDescribe what it was like– What did you do well as a team?What did you do well as a team?– What did you do not so well?What did you do not so well?

• Highlights from Team ObserversHighlights from Team Observers– Positive Teamwork observationsPositive Teamwork observations– Not so positive Teamwork observationsNot so positive Teamwork observations– What roles did various Team Players play? Who What roles did various Team Players play? Who

played what roles?played what roles?– Other observations from TO’s?Other observations from TO’s?

• Main take-aways or themes from Teamwork Main take-aways or themes from Teamwork Exercise?Exercise?

ACTIVITYEvaluating Student’s Teamwork(Individual Student Evaluation)TEAMWORK CHECKLIST

1. The student is an effective member of the team. _____

2. The student waits for his turn to talk. _____

3. The student uses eye contact while talking and listening to others. _____

4. The student stays on task and always has the goal in mind. _____

5. The student is tactful while communicating with others on the team. _____

TOTAL POINTS

_____ 30

The Impact of The Impact of CharacterCharacter

•Career Educator for Career Educator for 20 Years20 Years

•Lightning Struck Lightning Struck 5 Years ago … 5 Years ago …

•Character Has Character Has Major Impact on Major Impact on Career Success!! Career Success!!

The 7 Success FactorsThe 7 Success Factors

• Communication SkillsCommunication Skills

• Interpersonal SkillsInterpersonal Skills

• TeamworkTeamwork

• Honesty & IntegrityHonesty & Integrity

• Strong Work EthicStrong Work Ethic

• Motivation/InitiativeMotivation/Initiative

• Managing AdversityManaging Adversity

NACE Job Outlook Surveys, 2001 – 2010

Character Enriches Character Enriches LearningLearning• Good character traits enable children to Good character traits enable children to

succeed in the classroomsucceed in the classroom– Facing adversity (failing a test)Facing adversity (failing a test)– Responsibility (reading the required chapters)Responsibility (reading the required chapters)– Respect (enables positive relationships with Respect (enables positive relationships with

teachers)teachers)

• A school that promotes character creates an A school that promotes character creates an environment conducive to learningenvironment conducive to learning– Safety first: Maslow’s Hierarchy of NeedsSafety first: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

• If afraid of getting hit by a bully after class or out at If afraid of getting hit by a bully after class or out at recess, math class doesn’t really matter muchrecess, math class doesn’t really matter much

– Positive reinforcement and caring, on the other Positive reinforcement and caring, on the other hand, will empower students to learn hand, will empower students to learn

Character Enriches Quality of Character Enriches Quality of LifeLife

• People of Character contribute to a more People of Character contribute to a more caring and considerate community to live in.caring and considerate community to live in.

• Character helps build strong relationships Character helps build strong relationships with parents, friends, and significant others.with parents, friends, and significant others.

• People tend to be more content and happier People tend to be more content and happier when exercise good character.when exercise good character.

The Challenge The Challenge • We all agree that character has a strong We all agree that character has a strong

impact on one’s success in school, work impact on one’s success in school, work and life – I’m preaching to the choir, right?and life – I’m preaching to the choir, right?

• The challenge is building character in The challenge is building character in today’s world with all of the opposing today’s world with all of the opposing forces.forces.

• So we first need to understand what we’re So we first need to understand what we’re up against – what are the OPPOSING up against – what are the OPPOSING FORCES to building character?FORCES to building character?

• Only then can we strategize on how to Only then can we strategize on how to combat these forces and help our students combat these forces and help our students build character.build character.

Opposing ForcesOpposing Forcestoto Developing Character due to the Developing Character due to the

Kind of World We Live in Today!Kind of World We Live in Today!

• Role Models and LeadersRole Models and Leaders

• Changing Values in Mass Changing Values in Mass MediaMedia

• The Virtual World we “live” inThe Virtual World we “live” in

• Overprotective “Helicopter” Overprotective “Helicopter” Parents Parents

Opposing Force Opposing Force #1:#1:

Role Models & Role Models & LeadersLeaders

It Starts from the It Starts from the Top!Top!

Roger Clemens & Brian Roger Clemens & Brian McNameeMcNamee

Somebody’s Lying!Somebody’s Lying!

Opposing Force #2:Opposing Force #2:Changing Values in Changing Values in

Mass MediaMass Media

The Impact of Video The Impact of Video GamesGames•““95% of teenage boys and 67% 95% of teenage boys and 67%

of girls play video games. The of girls play video games. The best selling video game is best selling video game is Grand Theft Auto, where Grand Theft Auto, where players gain more points by players gain more points by murdering cops and beating murdering cops and beating prostitutes to death with bats” prostitutes to death with bats” (Jupiter Research, 2003)(Jupiter Research, 2003)

Grand Theft Auto 3:Grand Theft Auto 3: Coming to a Child Near You!Coming to a Child Near You!

““GTA3 will be much more than just a pretty GTA3 will be much more than just a pretty face, and as usual if you're not interested in face, and as usual if you're not interested in the missions there will be laws to break, people the missions there will be laws to break, people to beat up, grannies to mug, and vehicles by to beat up, grannies to mug, and vehicles by the hundred to carjack. The living, breathing the hundred to carjack. The living, breathing city theme remains, and as in GTA2 you are city theme remains, and as in GTA2 you are just as likely to get carjacked or beaten up as just as likely to get carjacked or beaten up as any of your hapless victims are. Thanks to the any of your hapless victims are. Thanks to the third dimension though the game will be a lot third dimension though the game will be a lot more in your face than the previous two, where more in your face than the previous two, where you sometimes felt quite isolated from your you sometimes felt quite isolated from your little head and shoulders on the ground below.”little head and shoulders on the ground below.”

25 To Life25 To LifeParents should be aware that 25 TO LIFE is set in a violent world of drug dealers and crooked cops. As criminals, players shoot scores of police, and as police, players shoot scores of criminals. The violence includes some gore and plenty of blood. The game also features swearing, references to drinking and drug use, robbery, graffiti tagging, and in-game advertising. Parents should also note that the game is designed for online play, which can expose players to creative streams of obscenity.

The Evolution of TVThe Evolution of TV

• My Three SonsMy Three Sons• Leave it to BeaverLeave it to Beaver• Little House on the Little House on the

Prairie Prairie • Brady BunchBrady Bunch• Family TiesFamily Ties• Married with ChildrenMarried with Children• SimpsonsSimpsons• Family GuyFamily Guy• The Modern FamilyThe Modern Family

Music Today vs. 1950’sMusic Today vs. 1950’s

•Time Magazine – Special Report: Time Magazine – Special Report: “Being 13” (August 2005) “Being 13” (August 2005)

•#1 on Billboard’s Chart in 1953#1 on Billboard’s Chart in 1953– Percy FaithPercy Faith

•#1 on Billboard’s Chart in 2005#1 on Billboard’s Chart in 2005– 50 Cent50 Cent

Opposing Force #3:Opposing Force #3:The Virtual World we “Live” in The Virtual World we “Live” in

TodayToday

Internet Impact … In the Internet Impact … In the NewsNews• Employers Complain about communication Employers Complain about communication

skills (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Feb 2005)skills (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Feb 2005)

• Researchers link use of Internet to social Researchers link use of Internet to social isolation (Stanford Report, Feb 2005)isolation (Stanford Report, Feb 2005)

Opposing Force Opposing Force #4:#4:

Helicopter ParentsHelicopter Parents

Helicopter Parents … In the Helicopter Parents … In the NewsNews

• ““A Nation of Wimps” A Nation of Wimps” ((Psychology TodayPsychology Today 2004) 2004)

• Q: “We Really did have it Q: “We Really did have it tougher … and better”tougher … and better”

You Can’t Blame Parents You Can’t Blame Parents for Loving & Caring for for Loving & Caring for their Kidstheir Kids

•But we as parents But we as parents need to let our need to let our kids work through kids work through adversityadversity

• It’s easier said It’s easier said than done – I than done – I know too well!know too well!

The GOALSThe GOALS

What do we want to teach What do we want to teach students?students?

What are the character goals?What are the character goals?

The 3 Character The 3 Character GoalsGoals

•Bob’s operational Bob’s operational definition of “Character”definition of “Character”

•““Do what’s right and be Do what’s right and be good to all people in good to all people in good times and in bad”good times and in bad”

•Breakdown the definition Breakdown the definition to generate the to generate the 3 Goals3 Goals

Goal #1: Do What’s Goal #1: Do What’s RightRight•Honesty & Integrity in Honesty & Integrity in

WorkforceWorkforce– #1 or #2 on Employers’ wish lists last 6 #1 or #2 on Employers’ wish lists last 6

yearsyears

•Do what’s right when Do what’s right when nobody’s lookingnobody’s looking

•Be honest with yourselfBe honest with yourself– Q: Man in the GlassQ: Man in the Glass

Goal #2: Be good to ALL Goal #2: Be good to ALL peoplepeople

•Easy to be “good” to those you Easy to be “good” to those you likelike

•Worst foot forward to loved onesWorst foot forward to loved ones

•Respect those different than youRespect those different than you– Appreciate Diversity (Mom Groto’s)Appreciate Diversity (Mom Groto’s)– Respect elders – where has it gone?Respect elders – where has it gone?

Goal #3Goal #3: Be good to all : Be good to all

people … people … IN GOOD IN GOOD TIMES & IN BADTIMES & IN BAD• Adversity = Truest Adversity = Truest

measure of charactermeasure of character

• When the going gets When the going gets tough … the tough get tough … the tough get goinggoing

• Randy & Marcie TaylorRandy & Marcie Taylor– Takes “Adversity” to Takes “Adversity” to

another levelanother level– Drew Michael Taylor Drew Michael Taylor

FoundationFoundation

The The STRATEGIESSTRATEGIES

What can we do to help What can we do to help our students build this our students build this kind of character?kind of character?

What can we do to help our What can we do to help our students build this kind of students build this kind of character? character?

•Be a Character Be a Character Role Model!Role Model!

•Actions speak Actions speak louder than wordslouder than words

•Who do you Who do you Remember?Remember?

Examples of Character Examples of Character Modeling Modeling

• Community ServiceCommunity Service– Then: Freeman’s & CharlieThen: Freeman’s & Charlie– Now: Margarett & SaraNow: Margarett & Sara

• Pick up Trash on BeachPick up Trash on Beach• Managing AdversityManaging Adversity

– Car Pulls out in front of Car Pulls out in front of youyou

– Kids are in the back seatKids are in the back seat

• Seeing good in others Seeing good in others rather than being a cynicrather than being a cynic

• Owning up to mistakesOwning up to mistakes• Overall tone of voiceOverall tone of voice

Don’t be Helicopter EducatorsDon’t be Helicopter EducatorsHelp Your Students Become Help Your Students Become

StrongStrong• Challenge them when they point their finger Challenge them when they point their finger

outward rather than inwardoutward rather than inward

• Teach them to own up to their mistakesTeach them to own up to their mistakes

• Call them out when they’re being spoiledCall them out when they’re being spoiled– My kids: Sppp…My kids: Sppp…– Zack and the Dollar StoreZack and the Dollar Store

• Encourage them to work out their Encourage them to work out their differences directly with friends/fellow differences directly with friends/fellow studentsstudents

• Don’t make everything a major moment … Don’t make everything a major moment … teach them a sense of perspectiveteach them a sense of perspective

An Anti-Bullying An Anti-Bullying SchoolSchool

• It’s time to take back the schools … It’s time to take back the schools … Schools need policies that favor and Schools need policies that favor and protect the good kids.protect the good kids.

• Schools can’t be afraid to stand up to Schools can’t be afraid to stand up to the bullies and their parents!the bullies and their parents!

• Ask to see a copy of the policy and Ask to see a copy of the policy and review it thoroughly.review it thoroughly.

• Be active in demanding a stiffer, Be active in demanding a stiffer, stronger policy – both in design and stronger policy – both in design and execution.execution.

Also Play your part in Also Play your part in inquiring about and inquiring about and helping to build a helping to build a

“Characterized School”“Characterized School”

FOLLOWING IS AN EXAMPLE FOLLOWING IS AN EXAMPLE OF A CHARACTERIZED OF A CHARACTERIZED

SCHOOLSCHOOL

A Characterized A Characterized SchoolSchool

Pequea Valley Middle SchoolPequea Valley Middle School• Service projects Service projects – Get the feeling of giving back!– Get the feeling of giving back!• Alternative EducationAlternative Education – make it positive; don’t quit on them – make it positive; don’t quit on them• Peer mediationPeer mediation – e.g., 8 – e.g., 8thth grader helping a 6 grader helping a 6thth grader grader• A kid’s schoolA kid’s school – Pictures of all kids up on the walls – Pictures of all kids up on the walls• Team roomsTeam rooms – Not just home base – Teacher serves as counselor – Not just home base – Teacher serves as counselor• Character AssembliesCharacter Assemblies – Large group programs/events/speakers – Large group programs/events/speakers• Acts of kindnessActs of kindness – Caught being good (profile shot on Web) – Caught being good (profile shot on Web) • Incentive ProgramsIncentive Programs – give fake $ bills when good; use for auction – give fake $ bills when good; use for auction• A touchy placeA touchy place – kids touched by staff 8 times/day on shoulder – kids touched by staff 8 times/day on shoulder

– ““I want to be respected – not liked” = bull (nice leaders finish first)I want to be respected – not liked” = bull (nice leaders finish first)• Big BraveBig Brave – Little Brave: – Little Brave: H.S. student who went thru parents divorcing H.S. student who went thru parents divorcing

helps middle school student with same situationhelps middle school student with same situation• Character Models everywhereCharacter Models everywhere – staff say hi, hand butts, positive – staff say hi, hand butts, positive• Announcements matterAnnouncements matter – – “have a great day, or not, the choice is yours”“have a great day, or not, the choice is yours”• Great SAP TeamGreat SAP Team – – Federally funded; 25% PV staff; refer to a SAP-Trained Federally funded; 25% PV staff; refer to a SAP-Trained

staff member (drug, alcohol abuse; etc.)staff member (drug, alcohol abuse; etc.)• Character Camp ParticipationCharacter Camp Participation – have representation at regional camp – have representation at regional camp• Character Based Academic PlannerCharacter Based Academic Planner

The Path to a “State” of The Path to a “State” of CharacterCharacter

It all starts with YOU!It all starts with YOU!•YouYou

•Your Your Kids/StudentsKids/Students

•Your SchoolYour School

•Your CommunityYour Community

•Your TownYour Town

•Your StateYour State

The Character Camp The Character Camp ExampleExample

The Multiplier Effect … Train the The Multiplier Effect … Train the TrainersTrainers

Encourage and Equip Character LeadersEncourage and Equip Character LeadersTestimonials from Character CampersTestimonials from Character Campers

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

-- Margaret Mead

Join forces as Parents to make real change in your school and town

communities!

The RACEThe RACE

• Rising each time you fallRising each time you fall = the heart of Character = the heart of Character

• Q: The RACEQ: The RACE

• Let’s do all we can to Let’s do all we can to help our kids get up and help our kids get up and win their race! win their race!

ACTIVITYACTIVITYCharacter Development Character Development ScaleScale

• Answer each question twiceAnswer each question twice– Put a “+” next to the answer that best Put a “+” next to the answer that best

describes you when you were a teendescribes you when you were a teen– Circle the answer that best describes Circle the answer that best describes

teens todayteens today

• We’ll have a large-group discussion We’ll have a large-group discussion when you’re donewhen you’re done

Large Group Large Group DiscussionDiscussion

• What are the major differences What are the major differences between teens today versus teens between teens today versus teens yesterday?yesterday?

• Which of the six Traits on the CDS Which of the six Traits on the CDS are most troubling regarding teens are most troubling regarding teens today?today?

• What can we do to work on this?What can we do to work on this?

Marketing the Soft SkillsMarketing the Soft SkillsA DiscussionA Discussion

• How can we best help students to market How can we best help students to market their soft skills?their soft skills?

• eportfolio (see Penn State example)eportfolio (see Penn State example)

• Resume (see combination internal Resume (see combination internal example)example)

• Cover LettersCover Letters

• Letters of RecommendationLetters of Recommendation

• Interviews – Incorporate EXAMPLESInterviews – Incorporate EXAMPLES

interpersonal, resilient, respectful … priceless! teaching the qualities employers want that are...

Documents

selfaware slide

interpersonal adversity

soft skills

unknown slide

interpersonal effectiveness

interpersonal foundation

interpersonal affect

culture study slide