Interpersonal Conflict

ManagementConflict Management Center

Program on the Advancement of Research on Conflict and Collaboration (PARCC)

AgendaIntroduction

Conflict Exercise: Shuffle the Deck

Definition of Conflict

Conflict Escalation and De-Escalation

Reflective Listening Exercises

Position vs. Interests

Wrap up

Ground RulesConfidentiality

Suspend judgment

All responsible for learning

Real life issues

Safe to make mistakes

Cell phones silent

Shuffle the DeckWrite a brief interpersonal conflict situation you

are willing to share on an index card. Cards are then gathered, shuffled, and re-distributed within the group.

Make sure not to write your names on cards

Each person in the group introduces themselves then reads aloud from the card they is dealt and the group talk about the possible outcomes of the conflict.

Interpersonal Conflict...

… is an expressed struggle,

between two or more parties,

that are interdependent,

involving strong emotion,

and a perceived blockage to needs and/or values.

(N. Katz)

Escalation Role Play

Be a ‘fly on the wall’ for the conflict that’s about to be portrayed.

Take note of how the conflict escalates- both verbally and nonverbally- what happens?

Skills for De-escalating conflict

Reflective Listening*Based on work of Carl Rogers (1951) and Thomas

Gordon (1970) who coined term ‘active listening’

*Source: Rautalinko and Lisper, 2005

Reflective Listening:

A special type of listening that involves paying respectful attention to the content and feelings of another’s communication, hearing and understanding, and then letting the other know that he/she is being heard and understood

It is a process of “checking in” to ensure understanding

Source: Neil Katz

De-escalating role play

Let’s revisit our initial escalating conflict. . . what’s different this time?

Reflective Listening requires two steps:

1) Hear and understand what the other is saying through his/her words and body language.

2) Reflect (express) the thoughts and feelings heard through your own words, tone of voice, posture, and gestures so that the other knows that he/she is heard and understood.

Example: You’re feeling ________ about/when/because _______

Reflective Listening Exercises

Roommate problems

Pass the Pen

Interests

Positions “Why?

”

The Challenge of Identifying Interests

Positions versus Interests

Position

- What you decided you want in a particular situation

- A specific solution

Interests (often rooted in human needs)

- What caused you to decide

- The specific needs in a situation which caused you to take a particular position or come to a particular position.

Interest Inquiryto identify interests

- What will having that (the position) do for you ?

- How will things change if you get your position?

to brainstorm options

- What are the possible options that will meet the interests?

to evaluate options

- What is a good way of doing that?

- Will that option identify all of the needs/interests?

Thank you for your

participation and

attention!