Interpersonal Communication

Dr. Martha Reavley

Odette School of Business

Introduction

Key to interpersonal and organizational effectiveness

Topics of Discussion Models of effective communication:

basic model and the pyramid of mutuality

Communication styles Native tongue exercise

The Basic Model of Communication

Sender message receiver– channel– noise

Pyramid of Mutuality

Mutual Respect

Mutual Meaning

Mutual PurposeSilence ViolenceWithdrawing Hiding Politicking Monologuing Labeling Attacking

Mutuality

A win-win situation that is built on a foundation of trust

Sharing things in common Seeking for things in common:

interests goals values

Mutual Purpose

Common goals or objectives that are built on a foundation of trust

Something we want

Mutual Meaning Observations, assumptions,

conclusions, and feelings that both parties acknowledge as valid

Available Meaning: When ideas, observations, and values are acknowledged and understood, they become part of the available pool of common meaning

Hidden Meaning: Through sharing meaning we become more aware of inconsistencies in our own thinking

Mutual Respect

Critical for maintaining dialogue Both parties choose to treat each

other with dignity, decency, and consideration, based on the assumption that others are reasonable, and decent

Silence - to - Violence continuum

Dialogue

SilenceViolence

Withdrawing hiding politicking monologuing labeling attacking

Silence Strategies

Politicking: selectively hiding and showing meaning. We hide our motives or withhold assumptions

Hiding: talking without revealing anything. Manipulative conversations

Withdrawing: Pulling out of communication completely. The most severe form of silence.

Silence Strategies exs.

At work

In school

At home

With friends

Violence Strategies Monologuing: Talking with the sole

purpose of getting what you want. Communication is unidirectional.

Labeling: Turing people into categories or things in order to get what you want. Makes it easier to do or say anything.

Attacking: Communicating for the sole purpose of pushing or hurting. It includes harsh accusation, yelling and raw invective.

Violence strategies exs.

At work

At school

At home

With friends

Strategies Test1. Let me see if I understand.

2. Oh yeah, you bozo.

3. If you say so.

4. Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could say I guarantee.

5. I can see you’re angry. Is it because we missed the deadline?

6. There’s no time for discussion. Just do it!

7. No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add.

8. You bean counters always think that way.

9. I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a terrific job.

Answers1. Let me see if I understand. -dialogue. Trying to understand

2. Oh yeah, you bozo. - labeling. Name calling

3. If you say so. - Hiding. Decreased meaning

4. Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could say I guarantee. Politicking. Wanting to allow for different definition

5. I can see you’re angry. Is it because we missed the deadline? - dialogue. Trying to understand

6. There’s no time for discussion. Just do it! Monologuing

7. No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add. labeling

8. You bean counters always think that way. labeling

9. I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a terrific job. politicking

Effective Communication:

A change of heart, not just a change in behaviour

Underlying ValuesSilence Dialogue Violence

Value ControloutcomesBe right

Sharedmeaning,learning

ControloutcomesBe right

Purpose Keep ithidden

Share openly Demandyour own

Meaning Discloselittle

Share openly Force yourown

Respect Indirectstrategies

Consciouseffort

Intentionalstrategy

3 Practice Scripts

Native Tongue Exercise

What This Means For Change Make specific, personal ground rules: I will use a calm

voice when speaking to… Critique your performance: How did you violate the

rule? What went wrong? Manage expectations: begin an interaction with some

explanations - “in the past this has ended in shouting match….

Apologize appropriately to allow dialogue to continue

Next Steps Commit to effective communication Understand the problems within

your group Document your progress in you

diary