3INNER

AUTHORITY

“Education is the ability to listen to

almost anything without losing your

temper or your self-confidence.”

— ROBERT FROST

20

Ch.1-3_1-7-14-03.q24 9/17/03 19:31 Page 20

The Inner Authority Continuum

WE ARE AUTHORS of what happens in the classroom. Inorder to write a successful script — to make our class-room environment smooth and harmonious — we

must marshal our inner resources and consciously direct it.Developing our “inner authority” can make all the difference inbeing an effective teacher. Inner authority doesn’t involve holdingour breath or gearing up for battle or carrying ourselves in anaggressive way. It is a relaxed, natural state that permeates every-thing we do, in the classroom and elsewhere.

Our inner authority affects how we give directions, pass outpapers, talk with kids one-on-one. It provides the foundation forour job satisfaction, our peace of mind, everything.

I once mentored a new P.E. teacher at a middle school. He wasconfused because none of the other P.E. teachers ever used consequences,

21

Ch.1-3_1-7-14-03.q25 9/24/03 10:07 Page 21

yet their classes ran smoothly. If he didn’t use consequences, hisstudents acted out like crazy. The difference: the other teachershad spent several years relying on consequences, until such time

that they had internalized a no-nonsense firm and softquality in their voices and postures. Their studentsknew that acting out was not in their best interest; theseteachers had already passed their “tests.” While veter-an teachers are not necessarily better managers, in thiscase they were; they had learned from the trials that thenew guy was just beginning to face.

Situations like the P.E. dilemma might seem to bemore “obviously” or “visibly” related to actions —“acting out leads to consequences.” However, the“invisible” truth lies in the teacher’s inner authority;something seemingly nebulous that can drive noviceslike Mrs. Meanswell nuts. In fact, even many relatively

effective Mrs. Allgoods don’t know how they do it or how toexplain it. A typical conversation about this might be:

Mrs. Meanswell: One of my students is constantly disrupting myclass. What would you do in this situation?

Mrs. Allgood: Well, my students know that I will just nottolerate that kind of behavior.

Mrs. Meanswell, who means well, studiously takes notes fromMrs. Allgood, writing, “I will not tolerate that behavior…” Ofcourse, that kind of advice doesn’t really have a whole lot of ben-efit. What Mrs. Allgood is really referring to is her place on thecontinuum of inner authority. It’s an invisible thing, but boy, doesit make a difference.

▲ CONSCIOUS CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT22

A Closer Look

Our innerauthority

affects how wegive directions,

pass out papers,talk with kids one-on-one.

It provides thefoundation for our job

satisfaction, ourpeace of mind,

everything.

Ch.1-3_1-7-14-03.q25 9/24/03 10:07 Page 22

Inner Apology! "Inner Authority

The polar opposite of inner authority is inner apology, and it isdeadly in the classroom. We can never have too much inner author-ity, because it facilitates calm and harmony, and imparts to the stu-dents a sense that their ship is being steered by capable hands. Innerapology, on the other hand, preys on our insecurities. It reflects asense that our authority is questionable, and that weare unsure of our decisions. It imparts an essence ofour apologizing for being in charge. This can happento the most effective teachers. Even Mrs. Allgood, whois seemingly in gracious command of her classroom,might stumble on her relatively advanced march alongthe continuum, given the right set of circumstances. Forexample, when a secondary teacher teaches the samenew and risky lesson to three classes in a row, the firsttime is often filled with misgiving, question, confusion,and an undermining dynamic of apology. But by thethird class, the teacher has it down and is clear and firm and righton track.

When and How to ApologizeMany teachers believe that to steer their ships effectively, they

cannot appear to waver, and certainly they cannot apologize. Thisis both true and not true. Sometimes it is okay, even essential, thatteachers apologize to students. Mrs. Allgood has learned to do itwithout losing control of the rudder; her inner authority comes toher rescue.

When we “blow it” in front of the class and humiliate a stu-dent, it’s okay to apologize to that student in front of the wholeclass. Public humiliation outweighs a private apology. This can bein the form of apologizing to both him and to the class for ourbehavior, or apologizing to him in front of the class. Similarly, if

INNER AUTHORITY ▲ 23

We can neverhave too much innerauthority, because itfacilitates calm and

harmony, and impartsto the students a

sense that their ship isbeing steered bycapable hands.

Wise Apple Advice

Ch.1-3_1-7-14-03.q24 9/17/03 19:32 Page 23

we “lose it” with the whole class, it is often appropriate to apol-ogize later in front of the whole class.

There are two diametrically opposed ways to apologize, as out-lined in the chart below. When Mrs. Allgood apologizes, she is tak-ing the heat, and not apologizing for the fact that she’s apologizing.Mrs. Meanswell, though perhaps using the same words as Mrs.Allgood, is trying to deflect the heat, and is apologizing inside —undermining herself — as she apologizes to the class.

▲ CONSCIOUS CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT24

Mrs. AllgoodMrs. Meanswell

▲ Does apologize internally

▲ Looks away

▲ Her statements sound like questions (“Yesterday, I kind ofblew it? I’m sorry? Okay?”)

▲ Is jumpy

▲ Bobs and weaves, and/or backsaway from students as she talks

▲ Blames (either herself or the kids)

▲ Self-effacing

▲ Deflects the heat

▲ Speaks what she thinks thekids want to hear

▲ Performs her feelings

▲ Is questionably sincere, and issomewhat mechanical in her apology

▲ Her apology questions her caring

▲ Doesn’t apologize internally

▲ Faces the students

▲ Makes statements (“Yesterday, I blew it. I am so sorry.”)

▲ Is grounded

▲ Stands firm and/or moves slowlytoward students as she talks

▲ Takes responsibility

▲ Self-affirming

▲ Takes the heat

▲ Speaks what she knows

▲ Expresses her feelings

▲ Is clearly sincere, and feelsempathy for what she put thestudents through

▲ Her apology affirms her caring

Ch.1-3_1-7-14-03.q25 9/24/03 10:07 Page 24

The difference in quality between the two apologies is imme-diately obvious. There’s a weight, a presence, and a silence thatpermeates Mrs. Allgood’s apology, resulting in a more silent andthoughtful response from the students. In Mrs. Meanswell’s case,the students get uncomfortable and squirmy as a reflection of herown discomfort and squirminess.

As a teacher, when I gave a “Meanswell-like” apology, the kidswould often respond by acting out even more. Kids would some-times call out, “You should be sorry! You did blow it!” I’d leaveclass that day thinking that my students were just mean kids. If,however, my apology was a genuine act of self-forgiveness, the kidswould be right with me. On occasion, I actually received applausefrom the students when I apologized, during which I thought tomyself, “I’ve got to blow it with these kids more often…” Thismakes sense. If José comes to school the day after I’ve blown up atthe class, he may well be feeling incredibly resistant, powerless,and angry at having to face me again. If I apologize sincerely in away that he knows I mean it, it gives him a chance to exhale. Thechip that has been lodged on his shoulder for the past twenty-fourhours has a chance to dissolve.

If we are going to apologize to our students, let’s not do itunless we’re actually sorry. Students of all ages and abilities cansniff out insincerity a mile away. Also, let’s try not to beat our-selves up when we apologize. Let’s simply state the obvious, takeresponsibility, own it, and let it go.

The choice of whether to apologize internally is at the essenceof Conscious Classroom Management. Apologizing internally forthe fact that we are apologizing comes across like a “drive-by apol-ogy.” We are never fully facing the students. We are pushing awaythe “charge” of the situation. That charge is twofold. First, we areliterally in charge, in the sense that we are the authority figure inthe classroom. Second, there’s an emotional charge associated withapologizing to our students.

INNER AUTHORITY ▲ 25

Ch.1-3_1-7-14-03.q24 9/17/03 19:32 Page 25