ingrid's distorted lens of insignificance · left when she was 12 years old. she couldn't...
TRANSCRIPT
TheDISTORTEDLENSof
Ingrid’sInsigni6icance.
DISTORTION:“Yes,but…youhave…Idonot.
Yes,but…youdon’tdealwithwhatIhavetodealwith.
Yes,but…mylifejustdoesn’t
WhenothersreachouttoIngrid,sheinadvertentlyturnspeopleawayassheretortsto
anyformofencouragementwith,“Yes,but…youjustdon’tunderstand.”Ingrid'sfather
leftwhenshewas12yearsold.Shecouldn'tquiteputtheFingeronherfeelingsatthe
time, though she remembers experiencing intense anxiety and insecurity. She
remembersthinkingifshehadonlybeen"goodenough"herdadwouldnothave left
andherfamilywouldbetogether.
Herfather'sexitusurpedthefamily'sstructure.Hermotherhadtotakeasecondjobtopaythebills,leavingIngridto
takeontheroleofsurrogatemothertoherthreeyoungersiblings. TherewasnotimeforIngridtopursueteenage
friendships.Onceshearrivedhomefromschool,shewastaskedwithhousework,cookingdinner,helpinghersisters
andbrotherwithhomework,andthencoursingthroughherown.NotonlywasIngridexhausted,butshewasangry
and resentful. At 50, Ingrid's second marriage failed. Repeated doctor's visits resulted in numerous cycles of
antidepressants,whichonly leaveher lethargic;herbraindoesn'tseemtoknowthepathtothe"happyplace."She
feelsshehaswastedherlife,hasnothingtolookforwardto.IfGodlovedme,Hewoulddosomethingtointervene,to
helpme.Despiteher longings,Godseemsdeaftoherprayers.MaybeGodismadatme.Maybethat iswhyHehas
abandonedme;Iamnotworthyofblessing. IngridpraysshewilllearntoacceptthatGodisGodandthatshedoes
notmattertoHim."Ideservetobeabandoned;Iaminsigni?icant."
REFLECTIONSFORDISCUSSION
WhatreFlectionsdoyousurmiseIngridabsorbedgrowingup?
ArethesereFlectionstrueasrelatestoIngrid'ssigniFicanceasaperson?
Whyorwhynot?
HowdoyourespondtosomeonelikeIngridwho,whenyouofferapossiblealternativesolutiontoher
problem,butwillnotacceptyouandinessencestopsthedialoguewith,“Yes,butyoujustdon’t
understandwhatIamgoingthrough?
HowwouldyougoaboutchangingIngrid'sperceptionofherself?
CoDevelopers of O for the Soul Joni LeRette Flores
Crystal Anzalone
From old Luxottica calendar-Trademarks and copyrights held exclusively by Luxottica Italy 1989. Artist is Paola Casagrande. Private calendar collection Crystal