ingrid's distorted lens of insignificance · left when she was 12 years old. she couldn't...

The DISTORTED LENS of Ingrid’s Insigni6icance. DISTORTION: “Yes, but…you have…I do not. Yes, but…you don’t deal with what I have to deal with. Yes, but…my life just doesn’t When others reach out to Ingrid, she inadvertently turns people away as she retorts to any form of encouragement with, “Yes, but…you just don’t understand.” Ingrid's father left when she was 12 years old. She couldn't quite put the Finger on her feelings at the time, though she remembers experiencing intense anxiety and insecurity. She remembers thinking if she had only been "good enough" her dad would not have left and her family would be together. Her father's exit usurped the family's structure. Her mother had to take a second job to pay the bills, leaving Ingrid to take on the role of surrogate mother to her three younger siblings. There was no time for Ingrid to pursue teenage friendships. Once she arrived home from school, she was tasked with housework, cooking dinner, helping her sisters and brother with homework, and then coursing through her own. Not only was Ingrid exhausted, but she was angry and resentful. At 50, Ingrid's second marriage failed. Repeated doctor's visits resulted in numerous cycles of antidepressants, which only leave her lethargic; her brain doesn't seem to know the path to the "happy place." She feels she has wasted her life, has nothing to look forward to. If God loved me, He would do something to intervene, to help me. Despite her longings, God seems deaf to her prayers. Maybe God is mad at me. Maybe that is why He has abandoned me; I am not worthy of blessing. Ingrid prays she will learn to accept that God is God and that she does not matter to Him. "I deserve to be abandoned; I am insigni?icant." REFLECTIONS FOR DISCUSSION What reFlections do you surmise Ingrid absorbed growing up? Are these reFlections true as relates to Ingrid's signiFicance as a person? Why or why not? How do you respond to someone like Ingrid who, when you offer a possible alternative solution to her problem, but will not accept you and in essence stops the dialogue with, “Yes, but you just don’t understand what I am going through? How would you go about changing Ingrid's perception of herself? CoDevelopers of O for the Soul Joni LeRette Flores Crystal Anzalone From old Luxottica calendar- Trademarks and copyrights held exclusively by Luxottica Italy 1989. Artist is Paola Casagrande. Private calendar collection Crystal

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Page 1: Ingrid's Distorted Lens of Insignificance · left when she was 12 years old. She couldn't quite put the Finger on her feelings at the time, though she remembers experiencing intense

TheDISTORTEDLENSof

Ingrid’sInsigni6icance.

DISTORTION:“Yes,but…youhave…Idonot.

Yes,but…youdon’tdealwithwhatIhavetodealwith.

Yes,but…mylifejustdoesn’t

WhenothersreachouttoIngrid,sheinadvertentlyturnspeopleawayassheretortsto

anyformofencouragementwith,“Yes,but…youjustdon’tunderstand.”Ingrid'sfather

leftwhenshewas12yearsold.Shecouldn'tquiteputtheFingeronherfeelingsatthe

time, though she remembers experiencing intense anxiety and insecurity. She

remembersthinkingifshehadonlybeen"goodenough"herdadwouldnothave left

andherfamilywouldbetogether.

Herfather'sexitusurpedthefamily'sstructure.Hermotherhadtotakeasecondjobtopaythebills,leavingIngridto

takeontheroleofsurrogatemothertoherthreeyoungersiblings. TherewasnotimeforIngridtopursueteenage

friendships.Onceshearrivedhomefromschool,shewastaskedwithhousework,cookingdinner,helpinghersisters

andbrotherwithhomework,andthencoursingthroughherown.NotonlywasIngridexhausted,butshewasangry

and resentful. At 50, Ingrid's second marriage failed. Repeated doctor's visits resulted in numerous cycles of

antidepressants,whichonly leaveher lethargic;herbraindoesn'tseemtoknowthepathtothe"happyplace."She

feelsshehaswastedherlife,hasnothingtolookforwardto.IfGodlovedme,Hewoulddosomethingtointervene,to

helpme.Despiteher longings,Godseemsdeaftoherprayers.MaybeGodismadatme.Maybethat iswhyHehas

abandonedme;Iamnotworthyofblessing. IngridpraysshewilllearntoacceptthatGodisGodandthatshedoes

notmattertoHim."Ideservetobeabandoned;Iaminsigni?icant."

REFLECTIONSFORDISCUSSION

WhatreFlectionsdoyousurmiseIngridabsorbedgrowingup?

ArethesereFlectionstrueasrelatestoIngrid'ssigniFicanceasaperson?

Whyorwhynot?

HowdoyourespondtosomeonelikeIngridwho,whenyouofferapossiblealternativesolutiontoher

problem,butwillnotacceptyouandinessencestopsthedialoguewith,“Yes,butyoujustdon’t

understandwhatIamgoingthrough?

HowwouldyougoaboutchangingIngrid'sperceptionofherself?

CoDevelopers of O for the Soul Joni LeRette Flores

Crystal Anzalone

From old Luxottica calendar-Trademarks and copyrights held exclusively by Luxottica Italy 1989. Artist is Paola Casagrande. Private calendar collection Crystal

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