In this world of OMG and autocorrect, does grammar stand a chance? Our guide to the most confounding rules will restore your love of language

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b y p a u l s I l v e r M a n & s a r a h w h a r t O n

In this world of OMG and autocorrect, does grammar stand a chance? Our guide to the most confounding rules will restore your love of language

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● pooled together● unfilled vacancy● refer back● Consensus of opinion● Centre around

(read: centre on)● absolute necessity

● Merge together● serious crisis● Closely scrutinise● pair of twins● Future plans● visible to the eye● surrounded on

all sides

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Root RivalRy you never mean: preventativeyou always mean: preventive why? Grammar king H. W. Fowler banned the long form almost 100 years ago. So someone who is health conscious might seek preventive care while responsible homeowners might take preventive measures to keep their roof from leaking.

you almost never mean: infamous you almost always mean: famous why? The rich and famous are widely

known (and wealthy). But the rich and infamous have a reputation of the worst kind (… and money, which doubtless has dubious origins). Another way to look at it: unless Aunt Donna’s chocolate chip cookies are notoriously evil and disgraceful, they are famous, not infamous.

you might say: invokeyou might mean: evoke why? A photo evokes emotion; a joke evokes laughter – evoke means “to elicit or call forth”. Save invoke for when you mean “to call on

a higher power, petition for support, or implement” (for example, “Allison invoked Robert Frost for her first English assignment” or “The principal invoked the aid of the teachers”).

you might say: denounceyou might mean: renouncewhy? The two words may sound similar, but their m e a n i n g s a r e distinct. Denounce is “to condemn publicly or accuse formally” (“The supreme court judge denounced the CEO for insider trading”),

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an established form or structure,” as in “The country is formally called the People’s Republic of China”.

you almost never mean: neither/either areyou almost always mean: neither/either iswhy? Both neither and either are singular pronouns and should take a singular verb, “Either the dog or the ferret is going to be in trouble for that damage.” However, when the verb has one or two plural objects, the plural verb is correct: “Turns out, neither the dogs nor the ferrets were responsible for tearing up the pillows; the cat was to blame.” While we’re on the topic, either and neither are best used to describe one or the other of only two choices, though one choice can be plural. For more than two, any is usually the better word.

Confused & Misusedyou never mean: fall between the cracksyou always mean: fall through the crackswhy? Logically speaking, you can’t fall between an opening; you fall into or through it. As such, don’t let logic fall through the cracks when you use this idiom.

you might say: mute you might mean: moot why? Moot’s most common meaning is “deprived of practical significance”.

while renounce means “to give up or refuse to follow” (“As rival armies descended on his kingdom, the king renounced his throne”).

you might say: uninterested you might mean: disinterested why? Careful speakers who wish to convey a lack of bias want to use disinterested. Speakers who don’t care about such grammatical subtleties are uninterested.

GRaMMaR 101you never mean: “Jane, andrew and myself are going …”you always mean: “Jane, andrew and I are going …” why? Myself is notoriously misused for I or me, often because people are trying (too hard, it seems) to sound smarter (wrong: “My husband and myself have belonged to the country club for years”). Myself is a pronoun best reserved for reflexive uses (when an action is directed toward the subject: “For Christmas, I gave myself a gift”) or for emphasis (“I myself have done that many times”).

you might say: formeryou might mean: latterwhy? The difference is clear-cut, yet writers and speakers sometimes muff these two: simply, former is the first of two; latter is the second. And while we’re at it, formerly vs formally: the former means “at an earlier time,” as in “Formerly known as Ceylon, Sri Lanka …”; the latter means “by

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tOp ten sOnG tItles wreCked by GOOd GraMMar

10. “I Feel well”

9. “ whom are you Going to Call? (Ghostbusters)”

8. “ a whole lot of shaking Going On”

7. “there Is no sunshine”

6. “ I still haven’t Found for what I’ve been looking”

5. “whom do you love?”

4. “ what does love have to do with It?’

3. “ rocket person” (our gender-sensitive choice)

2. “bobby McGee and I”

1. “ I Can’t Get any satisfaction”

Mute means silent. So while they might want to be mute about a moot point, careful speakers will be vocal about the difference.

you almost never mean: just desserts you almost always mean: just deserts why? When you want someone to get what he deserves, you hope he reaps his just deserts. But on her birthday, a particularly well-behaved three-year-old might be allowed to indulge in just desserts.

you never mean: modern-day you always mean: modern why? Quite simply, the word modern covers it. Modern-day is a redundant term. Modern speakers will sound smarter by using the superior word.

you might write: so-called “good grammar” you mean to write: so-called good grammarwhy? So-called introduces a term as falsely, improperly or commonly referred to as something. So by default, it covers the need for quotation marks (or a speaker’s air quotes).

shades of MeaninG you might say: exuberant you might mean: exorbitant why? While both terms mean

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readers sOund OFF We asked our Facebook fans to tell us what drives them crazy. many responded with you’re/your and could’ve/could of. others decreed:

“use of the word like in every sentence.”

Russell Oviatt

“Ovenable … what a terrible word. Enough to make a cook cry.”

Leonie Hippie Clarke

“ ‘a whole ’nother.’ ” Kt Considine

“ ‘tough road to hoe’, instead of ‘tough row to hoe’. ” J a m e s S a c c a r d i

“Ginormous.” E r i n R e d E l k

“ ‘the book was entitled …’ you are entitled to your pay. a book is titled!” R o b i n J e f f e r s o n

“extreme”, the terms are often confused in relation to money. Exuberant refers to unrestrained enthusiasm or f lamboyance; exorbitant means “exceeding an appropriate amount”. Another way to look at it: exuberant use of a credit card leads to an exorbitant bill down the road.

you might say: come you might mean: go why? Come refers to movement towards the speaker (Henri says, “Come to Paris!”); go denotes the opposite (After you’ve stayed two months, Henri says, “You should go.”). But idiomatic use sometimes clouds this rule, as “I’ll come over” is more readily comprehensible than “I’ll go over.”

you might say: jealous you might mean: envious why? Great grammarian Bryan Garner, author of Garner’s Modern American Usage, reminds us that “jealousy connotes feelings of resentment toward another, particularly in matters relating to an intimate relationship”, while “envy refers to covetousness of another’s advantages, possessions, or abilities”. So your ex-boyfriend

is jealous of your new husband but envious of your ability to use these two terms correctly. n

W E I G H T W A T C H E R

the best way to lose weight is to close your mouth – something very difficult for a politician. or watch your food – just watch it, don’t eat it. E d w a r d K o c h , former mayor of New york

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