in a nutshell: difficult conversations - jasmine gartner & andrea james
TRANSCRIPT
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Andrea James Jasmine Gartner
In a Nutshell:Difficult
Conversationsabout Change
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Who are we?
Jasmine GartnerTrainer & WriterEmployee Engagement, Inclusion & Unconscious Bias
Andrea JamesConsultant & TrainerDecision-Making
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Here’s what we’ll do today…
We’ll be discussing selected articles for the next half hour… … and we’ll finish with a few tips
Then we’ll be around to answer your questions
We’ll be sending you a recording at the end and you can download the slides
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QuestionsYou’ll see questions pop up throughout this webinar – we’d love to hear what you think!
Use the chat box on right-hand side of your screen to respond to our questions.
And also feel free to ask questions or make comments at any point.
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Discussion Point 1Why are difficult conversations
difficult?
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What do you think makes difficult conversations
difficult?Enter your thoughts in the chat box.
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Almost half of UK employees want a career
change…“The majority of the UK workforce suffered through a period of great
uncertainty around the job market and considered themselves lucky to have a
job, let alone a job they loved”CIPD
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What does ‘difficult’ mean?
“There are no ‘difficult’ conflicts. There are only
conflicts you don't know how to resolve.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/fred-kofman/how-to-collaborate-throug_b_8134910.html
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A Checklist for Creating Difficult Conversations
☑ Deny☑ Avoid☑ Surrender (but not really)☑ Dominate☑ Get an authority figure on your side☑ Get other people to take your side☑ Compromise
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/fred-kofman/how-to-collaborate-throug_b_8134910.html
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A Checklist for Constructive Conversations☑ Consensual decision-
making☑ Express your needs☑ Understand the needs of others☑ Identify your values☑ Consider the values of others☑ Focus on relationship-building☑ Cooperate
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/fred-kofman/how-to-collaborate-throug_b_8134910.html
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The reckoning
The rumble
The revolution
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Discussion Point 2
What should managers and staff
be talking about during change?
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http://www.bytestart.co.uk/fire-employee-get-thanked.html
Can You Fire Someone… & Get Thanked For it?
If the assumption is that it’s a difficult conversation, business owners often just work around someone who’s performing poorly
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http://www.bytestart.co.uk/fire-employee-get-thanked.html
Can You Fire Someone…
& Get Thanked For it?Challenge your assumptions• See feedback as generous• Focus on the key change• Be ready for an emotional
reaction – and weather it
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Have you been fired –
and felt relieved?Tell us about it in the chat box.
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http://www.businessperform.com/articles/workplace-communication/failure-communicate.html
The Sources of Conflict
Squaring the Horns of the Dilemma• Skill deficiency• Different interests• Stress• Lack of resources• Personality clash
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Dilemma Theory
You’re in a car with a friend.
Your friend is driving…
http://www.strategy-business.com/article/17251?gko=444c1
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Discussion Point 3Technology – helpful?
Or not?
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My Life as a Robot
http://www.wired.com/2015/09/my-life-as-a-robot-double-robotics-telecommuting-longread/
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That’s it for articles!
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It’s time for your questions and comments
Use the Chatbox at the side
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Learning Points
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Learning Points• Reflect and be aware of your own unconscious
rationalisations (what stories do you tell yourself about how you got from point a to point b?)
• Being uncomfortable and awkward is hard; but it’s important to explore the reasons for those feelings and work through those, rather than just ignoring the bad feelings
• The goal is to separate the feelings of discomfort from the back stories we tell about those feelings
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Next StepsJoin us for our webinar next month.
Do you live in or near London?
Join us for our next live workshop on overcoming gender bias for everyone.
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If you liked this webinar…
Jasmine’s workshops on: • Employee Engagement• Diversity & Inclusion
Andrea’s workshops on: • Decisions & Productivity• Decision-making in teams
FREE 45-minute no-obligation decision-coaching session
[email protected]/jasminegartnerhttps://uk.linkedin.com/in/jasminegartner0790 355 2414
[email protected]/Decisions_Made_https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreaqjames0203 289 666107796 936 661
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Extra Articles & Videos
• Performance Appraisals – do they do any good?• Taking the Stress Out• When Key Cmployees Clash• Cool Hand Luke• Constructive Collaboration & Destructive Conflict• Checklist to pre-think before the conversation• Changing Behaviour• The dangers of framing things as” difficult”• 9 Common Mistakes• Collaborate through Conflict• Dilemma Theory
Some of these were shared in the run up to the webinar and others we didn’t have the time to discuss but we thought you might find interesting