Is your spine Is your spine smashed, or out of smashed, or out of place, well after just place, well after just 3 weeks* of 3 weeks* of treatment your spine treatment your spine could be straight, could be straight, and you would be and you would be saying goodbye to saying goodbye to back pain for ever.back pain for ever.*in 10 out of 100 cases, I like those odds!!

Are you sick of doing exercises to cure your back pain?

I sure am!!

Yes!

(Yeah, straight to the morgue!!)

Instead, spread a Instead, spread a whole lot of toxic whole lot of toxic chemicals in the chemicals in the form of a sweet form of a sweet smelling cream smelling cream onto your spine! onto your spine! Sounds pretty Sounds pretty damn good to damn good to me!!!me!!!

Each pack of tablets Each pack of tablets comes with a comes with a bonusbonus mix in anaesthetic! mix in anaesthetic!

Your back will be so Your back will be so numb, you’ll think numb, you’ll think you’ve lost your spineyou’ve lost your spine

(May* cause extended (May* cause extended numbness in other numbness in other organs/limbs/brain)organs/limbs/brain)

*Will*Will

After testing After testing Simmo’s back Simmo’s back relief relief scientists* have scientists* have proven that it proven that it almost halves almost halves the amount of the amount of back pain.back pain. * *they told us they they told us they were scientistswere scientists 0

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Toni Bob Harry Charlene Cletus

BACK PAIN

AFTER TREATMENT

BACK PAIN

AFTER TREATMENT

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Did you like that last chart, here’s another one.

0246

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BACK PAIN

AFTERTREATMENT

WITHOUTTREATMENT

Here’s another more complicated one!

Included in this high quality Included in this high quality package, are no less* than 400 package, are no less* than 400 capsules guaranteed to get rid capsules guaranteed to get rid of back pain, a 3 kilo tub of of back pain, a 3 kilo tub of instant back pain relief rub instant back pain relief rub and you even get a free t-shirt and you even get a free t-shirt that says “I HAVE BACK that says “I HAVE BACK PAIN.” How’s that for value!!!PAIN.” How’s that for value!!!

This whole package has a total This whole package has a total value of $300.00, but today it’s value of $300.00, but today it’s yours for only $89.95!! What yours for only $89.95!! What value!!!value!!!

GRAPH

PYRAMID

A

IS

THISGRAPH

A

IS

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IT

ISN’T

FANCY,

* Not quite true

Because we believe in Because we believe in customer service, we customer service, we include a set of fancy include a set of fancy graphs and diagrams, to graphs and diagrams, to give you confidence in give you confidence in purchasing our product!purchasing our product!

(People with epilepsy (People with epilepsy should not view them)should not view them)

Customer Satisfaction

Quality Value

Service

Company Information All of our special All of our special potionspotions are created in profesional are created in profesional

looking test tubes, like these.looking test tubes, like these.

Because someBecause some** of our customers have a small of our customers have a small^̂ recovery period, we are happy to provide you with a recovery period, we are happy to provide you with a wheel chair for an extra fee($189.95). This is awheel chair for an extra fee($189.95). This is a symbol of our great customer dedication. symbol of our great customer dedication.

(Why did that Coroner want to shut us down?)(Why did that Coroner want to shut us down?)

• * 89%* 89%• ^20 years^20 years

Only one in five customers end up like this! That means less pain for you and less court cases for us!!

““Now I bet you want to know Now I bet you want to know about our weaknesses, but a about our weaknesses, but a weakness is considered as a bad weakness is considered as a bad thing, and you don’t want to know thing, and you don’t want to know about bad things, do you? I mean about bad things, do you? I mean if we tell you a whole lot of bad if we tell you a whole lot of bad things, your back might hurt things, your back might hurt more, and then you’d have to buy more, and then you’d have to buy more of our products (hmmm). more of our products (hmmm). Our chart proves this.*”Our chart proves this.*”

-Tim of Simessy Tech-Tim of Simessy Tech*We think*We think

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Cletus Axle

GoodNewsBack Pain

After badnews

It took Andrew and Tim It took Andrew and Tim of Simessey tech nearly of Simessey tech nearly ten years to create this ten years to create this amazing product, and amazing product, and yes, when buying this yes, when buying this product you get the product you get the satisfaction of knowing satisfaction of knowing that it was made by Tim that it was made by Tim and Andrew and Andrew themselves*.themselves*.

*or one of their pet monkeys.Tim and Andrew

We can give you a We can give you a guarantee that you guarantee that you won’t need one of won’t need one of these signs on your these signs on your windshield for at least windshield for at least two years after taking two years after taking Simessy Tech back Simessy Tech back pain relief.pain relief.

...And if Simessy Tech back pain ...And if Simessy Tech back pain relief doesn’t work then not only relief doesn’t work then not only will we let you keep the product will we let you keep the product (we advise you not to), but we (we advise you not to), but we will also give you a whole 100%* will also give you a whole 100%* of the price you paid back.of the price you paid back.

This is one impotant piece of paper.

.....for Simessy Tech’s instant back relief!!!!!

This ad has been brought to you by channel 69, damn straight it suc….

Sorry, but we’re currently expieriencing

created by

ANRKI and PYROAnd some of the deroes at flinder st.

anrki 2001§