impossible space tales of the last pit stop #3
DESCRIPTION
This little tale is titled and center around a guy named LLOYD!TRANSCRIPT
Get Those pieces of
$**T off my yard!!!
Dan Nokes
Part 3 Of 12
Alan Grissom is a low paid service worker, gaining employment at the local convenience store, and living in a dilapidated trailer home in the middle of nowhere, Nevada. Like many of this state, he hates his job, loathes his routine, and laments his life in general. The big difference is that his job is at the fabled AREA 51, which contains THE LAST PIT STOP: A convenience store for aliens. Its here that Alan ply's his trade alongside fellow employees Bud: An incect humanoid who enjoys chemical ingestion, disrespecting authority, and being surly and disrespectful to customers and coworkers, Margaret: The human assistant manager who is anal retentive and trying to get into the corporate ladder, Maylene: A sweet alien girl next door that Alan has a crush on, and Portis: An slug like humanoid who claimed to be a peace officer at one time. He is the current general manager of the store. They were joined by enthusiastic but annoying new employee Gilbert! That about sums it up in a bow! Here’s chapter 3 enthusiastic readers!
21st Century Sandshark
Studios Presents
Impossible
Space Tales Of
The Last Pit Stop
Part Three Lloyd
Conceived
written and art
by:
Dan Nokes
Impossible Space Tales of The Last Pit Stop Part 2
GILBERT, Published January 2013
21st Century Sandshark Studios
All Characters, stories, and concepts are the intellectual property of Dan Nokes 2013
Here is a brief synopsis Of what happened in the
the first TWO ISSUES
Have fun with the
miserable old
bastard! I’m
gonna do
something more
constructive ,
like…I dunno…
watch dust
settle?!
You do
that in
any case
bud!
The Last Pit Stop Area 51 8:02 pm
The “Miserable old
bastard” Bud is talking
about is lloyd.
He is area 51’s one and
only permanent
resident.
He’s the reason any of this is here in
the first place..
Mind you this fact does
nothing to improve the
codger’s disposition or
manners…
I come to his place a
lot on my lunch
breaks. Gives me a
sense of perspective…
1
I do!
And
don’t
worry!
The beer
is nice
and cold
this time!
You better
have my
smokes and
brew, if you’re
even
considering
stepping on
my nice clean
lawn, ya’
prattling
hairless
chimp!
That and were
contractually obligated to
provide and deliver his
groceries for free for
life… Well? You gonna
just stand there and
gawk like the ugliest
lawn ornament I have
ever laid eyes upon?
My beer’s
not getting
any
colder?!
2
You want me
to drop
these off
on the
counter.?
Tak’em up to the
roof! There’s
some BBQ up
there. help
yourself kid.
You have
any
tourists
stop by?
Thankfully
no! Nice
quiet day
devoid of
those damn
parasites!
You’d miss
them if they
left
altogether?
That Earth
Humor? Explain
why you
hairless chimps
haven't gotten
past your own
moon?!
TALMARCHIAN INTERSTELLAR
CULTURAL HERITAGE CENTER
AND RESERVE
3
So I got another comuni-
k from those morons at
PIT that there have been
some complaints about
my “Lack of friendliness
and positive attitude?”
You
worried?
I dunnno?
Hell no! What are
those greedy
pencil pushers
gonna do to me?!
Can they
penalize
you for
anything?
Im the reason
they can do
any of this
kid! I go, the
gas station
goes with me!
4
A few moments later…
Hi kids! This is Lloyd! I’ll be
narrating this portion of yer’
funny book! So sit back and
shut the hell up! Now where
to begin? My kind. The TALMARCHIANs, have
unusually long life spans as life
forms go: A few billion earth years
on average. That and the fact that
we can go centuries at a time
without food sleep. Or water made
us perfect for the interstellar
shipping industry.
I was one of those stupid
Talmarchians that was
too thick and unmotivated
to get a decent job. So I
became a space trucker. I was lugging nEUTANIUM
from Orkram IV to the
central processing world.
Without hyperdrive it takes
about 1000 years to cover
the distance
5
A few hundred thousand miles from Earth
65.2 million years ago..
You see, Hyperdrives cost money.
Hyperbaric chambers cost money. Crews
cost money. Our good friends at the
P.I.T*. found out millions of years ago,
that they could save a fortune in
transport costs by employing my people
at near slave wages! *P.I.T.- Phytocom
Intergalactic Tricorporate
Now like I said, our species
lives a few billion years. A
bonus of that is that we tend
to percieve time differently
than most other beings. Being
in space this long for most
others would drive them mad..
Now I did
occasionally tend
to “rest my eyes”
for a minute or
two
No big deal
for the most
part.
Except two other
things my employers
didn’t install on
these rigs.
Autopilot and long range
sensors..
6
Doesn’t mean it was a bowl of
smiles and happy fun times…
Woke up to a nasty meteor
storm
7
Ship got dinged to
high heaven…
Engines were
severely damaged
I didn’t have much time
to react. I was about
to become a
screaming smores
courtesy of Earth’s
atmosphere!
Not much time to
react…
I’d figured I’d rather get
canned for derelict of
duty. Then fry to a crisp.
So I bailed my
cargo and hoped
for the best
WARNING: HAZARDOUS MATERIAL
Product is not to be opened without special equipment and by level 5 materials handler. Materials are hazardous, toxic, flammable, and
dangerous. This item is a schedule 1 item by the 4th Interstellar confrence. Mishandling or illegal posession can
result in 20 cycles in prison and a 100,000 credit fine.
Unfortunately
the trailer made
their way into
the lower
atmosphere.
Now
Neutonium
is like nitro
on crack.
Times an
assload of
hurt.
Their kept in special
containers that keep them
stable.
8
But hurtling smack dab into a
planet at super sonic speed
tends to ding and bend even the
best containers.
Meanwhile I managed
to crash-land
nearby..
I was
salvageable. My
ride however…not
so much.
I thought the
worst of it was
over…
Not even friggin
close!
Great…Just
Great!
9
Now while some of you
may think what is about to
transpire here, makes me
some sort of incompetent
destroyer of worlds.
Consider this!
If my accidently dumping
of 300 tons of toxic
mega explosives hadn't
of killed the dinosaurs.
None of you would be
here reading this right
now.
Food for thought
eh?
You’re welcome!
10
Fortunately I was
just out of range
of the worst of the
blast!
Mind you: my barely
unsalvageable ride
was now upgraded
to total piece of
crap!
Also took me
a day or two
to dig myself
out?
I was breathing in
and out though. So
I guess that counted
for something?
I immediately sprung
into action, took
stock of my
provisions, and
waited for a rescue.
Well this most
likely is gonna
come out of my
last paycheck…
11
I got a signal out. I
figured the local
authorities would
have me in a decade
or two tops..
I managed to recover the
emergency shelter from
the wreck! That lasted a
while.
But after a geologic
epoch or two went by. I
thought I might of got
lost in the system…
So you’re the
dominant life
form now?
You don’t look
like much!?
Hey Skippy!
That’s my fruit
tree! Bad..Er!
Whatever the
hell you are!
About 50 or 60
million years I
started to get
bored.
I thought I saw everything
this planet had to offer…
Then the hairless
chimps arrived!
Got damp
around
here
awfully
quick?
Sentient
life! Just
friggin
dandy! 12 They were sporadic and
harmless at first…
But then you decided to get
annoying with that society, culture
and religion thing?
By The last few centuries
I just decided to use my
mental abilities to
scramble what lone
traveler or caravan
crossed my path…
By a decade or four ago.
I was having serious
doubts about my rescue
Then in 47’ I got a rude
awakening!
Really! You
primates will make
anything your god
given half that
chance?!
Well lookie
what I see!
That
firewater in
Carson city
works a
powerful
mojo I
reckon!
Keep it up zeke!
I’ll have you
thinking you’re a
cactus on fire in
no time flat!
Heh! Bunch
of
amateurs!
I don’t
think weve
met before
mister
monkey?
Lloydela
Brelskin?
Name was
General Martin
Chambers
13
I had an impromptu
meeting with the
good general and a
rep from the PIT.
Some hack from
Legal with a smile as
fake as a 3 dollar
bill!
TARG? I
thought the
Krelgs were
running the
pit?
Mister
Belskin!
This is
RELDTANKIIN
TARG.
Pleasure to
m eet you
sir!
I get
stranded for
a couple of
eons and all
hell breaks
loose?
I don’t really
give a flying
one! I don’t
care about
your cargo
either! Just
get me my
damn ride
home!
I would like to do
that mister Belskin!
But there are a
few…complications.
14
Im afraid
first off
your
homeworld
was
destroyed
in a super
nova eons
ago?
I’d like you
to stop
touching me
while I
process
this.
That little
“mishap” with
your cargo
created an
anti-matter rift
right around
this spot you
live on!
But we have
an exciting
proposal
for you sir!
Now as
much we
would like
to tap that
resource,
this world
is class 5
and off
limits to us
However:
Mister
Targ’s
people have
found a
loophole..
You sir, as far
as we know, are
the last
survivor of the
Talmarchian
race.
As such the Interstellar
conference with consent
from a well compensated
U.S. Government, have
declared this area a
cultural reservation and
under the jurisdiction of
the Ministry of tourism
and cultural heritage..
15
So that’s how this
place became a 3rd
rate tourist trap
complete with
lukecrappy stop
and shop, Come
see the last
Talmarchian, gas
up and grab some
sugary snacks in
one go?!
Meaning with your
cooperation. I
believe we can
find an agreement
we can all benefit
from.
So you
killed the
dinosaurs?
In my
opinion they
had it
coming
anyway…
Excuse me!
Swell…
16
Your first
tourists of
the day I
believe?
Let me
get
gussied
up and
greet
my
public.
Look son!
The last
Talmarchian!
Behold his
majesty
This is
beyond
lame dad!
I gotta get back
to work Lloyd.
I’ll see you when I
get off at
midnight.
Whatever kid!
Have fun and
smok’em if ya’
got’em!
Excuse me!
But can my
son take a
quick picture
with you! It
would mean
so much to
him!
Yea
whatever?
Hold yer
damn
horses!
End Chapter
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