I’m Lost

Reflecting Dissecting Mistakes that were made Dreaming Screaming Here we are again In the hospital I pray Jesus take me away I’m so tired of this pain God I am so afraid Apparitions from the past Come to take me away Is it getting warm again? I can’t remember the day Woke up 5am

By a staff of ten Wire up my brain ECT Oh God no Knew this girl once She never was the same In the hospital I pray God please take me away Apparitions of the past Come to take me away Is it getting cold again? Time slips away I hate myself So cliché Time slipping away It’s lost Broken teeth Vision black

Can’t wake up Can’t wake up Years gone Blank mind canvas Can’t wake up Can't wake up Oh God what have you done to me No memory Have to find a way A way out The apparitions from my past I can only go on so long Take me now away at last My mind is long gone No energy I'm losing I can’t keep going this way I’m lost It's lost

Adam’s Free

Adam Why did you have to go away? Friends back in high school I didn’t have many kids to talk to But Adam was my friend Heart of gold Why did this fate befell him? Adam Why did you have to go away? Five years pass

Reunion time I gasped at his paralyzed right side He got tangled in a car crash Only half there The other half burnt into ash Seven years pass Meet again In the rooms The same addiction Final time Lost contact with my friend

I should have been there for him You passed away at 29 Your heart just stopped Ran out of time One night your ghost visited me You said just keep going I’m not dead I’m free Adam Your last words to me I’m not dead I’m free Adam why did you have to go away? Adam's free

Michael’s Hurting

Regaining ground Only to fall back down Sisyphus Push that rock back up the hill It’s a moot point It’ll just fall back down again Battle for new ground Only to be let down Oh Archangel Michael Push that sin back down the hole It’s a moot point

It’ll only Resurface again Analogies can come so easily When you try to illustrate Too hard And parables Mean so little it seems When you try to illustrate your point Too hard Oh What a tragic comedy

Pull that plank from your eye A false hope of finality Pull the plank from your eye Oh analogies can come so easily When your trying to illustrate your point Too hard And parables Mean so little it seems When your trying To illustrate too hard

They’ll Miss Me

It’s time This has to end Tonight Day 10 Inpatient clinic Stopped the plan Just for a minute Stark terror realization Of what I’m leaving behind

Gonna miss my dog He’s gonna miss me This is going to destroy my family The belt’s wedged in top of the door With the books piled high off the floor It’s tall enough For that million mile fall

Gonna miss my parents And they’re gonna miss me Oh what I’m about to do Will destroy my family My family Will destroy My family It’s time To reach out For help

She’s Devastated

Two colors Two lovers Red and blue So beautiful The warmness of blue It’s gonna be difficult They won’t understand She dreams about her Manipulates her hand And things are clear Between us she says Together we can be happy We will make this work She says it's funny how This love between us

Seems to have have reached its peak I wish we could Just live in this moment forever You’re not enough I just feel so insecure Well if I’m not enough This won’t last I’m sure And things should be clear Between us she says You hurt me so much This isn’t meant to be PLEASE GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE HE DIDN’T MEAN ANYTHING

JUST BE WITH ME ONE MORE TIME YOU CAN’T DENY THAT WE WERE MEANT TO BE YOU SAY YOU WANT ONE MORE CHANCE DON'T YOU KNOW HOW HARD THIS IS CAN'T YOU SEE? THIS WAS NEVER MY CHOICE TO MAKE YOU MADE THE DECISION FOR ME No happy ending Just walk away Away into the distance As the credits roll

We’re Waiting

Pastor Hesitated Pastor Sit down Please talk to me Pastor The truth is all I seek Does our congregation Believe being gay Equals damnation? Well Michael All who believe in Jesus You know that they're all welcome Welcome to join with us But Michael my friend It’s their perverted acts That we won’t defend Michael I’m not gonna die On this hill for their gay rights I paused for a second To collect my thoughts It was like the wind was Knocked out of me Friend of so many years Don’t even know who you are Well Pastor for years I’ve hid that I’m queer From one side of your mouth You say we’re welcome here?

But from the other side You say that we’re sin That because of who I love I’m an abomination Michael Personally I’m for equal rights But there’s a funding covenant To build my church that I had to sign And yea against the gay It does hold restrictions But our church is worth more than them This is God’s mission My stomach felt so sick How could he be ok with this? I held back the tears He just doesn’t Realize pastor consequence You discriminate against Those who may be on the fence Whether living is worth all of this Closet bigotry you and your peers profess Ridicule that makes no sense Suicidal Homosexual

Paid in full with their life Push the blade to their wrist Assisted Suicide Guide their feet to the ledge Assisted Suicide Tie the noose around their neck Assisted Suicide Put the gun in their mouth Assisted Suicide How many has the church armed to die? How many would still be alive? How many could have survived? How many could have survived? Pastor I've made my peace You owe a moment of silence at least To those empty seats in those pews A reflection of that lost souls that we hardly knew That you shunned away That just needed a friend The Imprints of Shattered Arms The imprints of...

Sally’s Taking

Oh… It just keeps rising 10 million degrees Sold my soul to Sally 16 seasons to make a new me Sold my soul to Sally At 17 I’m asked to decide Sold my soul to Sally What will define me for The rest of my life Light my way In this dark place 10,000 dollars due twice a year I’m in debt to Sally Eight million unemployed play on my fears

I’m in debt to Sally Four years not enough Continue the path Maybe then I’ll be ready To cash out my tab Light my way In this dark place Financial ruin Another recession case Fight my way In this red place Financial ruin Another recession case The numbers keep adding up I’m drowning in this red sea I can’t even gasp for air I can’t even breathe

11 percent interest gouging me I can’t even shake her though bankruptcy Two jobs not enough now I gotta work three They collect on my paycheck While the dust collects On my college degree She collects on my paycheck While the dust collects On my college degree Here comes that bitch May And it's time to pay Oh...

Let’s End In July

July 20's Memories We’re smiling And laughing For now it doesn’t matter That Fall Is coming July 20's Memories Oh... Oh we’re smiling Oh It’s such a warm feeling

Laughing together But the sting In the middle of August It hurt so bad And September Will bring the autumn It’s ok To be sad Hopefully Future leaves That cover the stones Will continue to blow Away in the wind

All come together For this celebration So much love In this small passage of time In the July 20’s In this small passage of time -------------------

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With August’s Goodbye

It’s hard to say goodbye Permanently closed eyes A friend who’s final time has gone by In the bed only a shell resides Attempts to comfort myself I try Sun shining through the window from the sky But the reassuring words feel like lies Illuminate the tears of your final cry It’s hard how much we care And you were always there It’s hard to start that prayer Sitting there in your chair I’m traumatized pulling out my hair Smiling at me with your warm stare Remembering all the times we shared Hiding your pain that cross you quietly bared

We pray That one day we'll be ok Please don't say That everything happens or a reason With each passing day Memories may turn gray But we will fight to keep you With each passing season Yea at the viewing we gather Pay our respects feelings so scattered Those half-smiles long pauses and awkward laughter We like to think that somehow this tradition still matters Standing at your grave at the cemetery soon after And it seems our final goodbye Seems to approach us ever faster And are you there with God?

Are you there with God? Together again with your master? And wings flutter faintly in the wind I swear I can that I can hear you answer I swear that I can hear you answer God we pray That one day That it will be ok But please don't say Don't tell me everything happens for a reason And each passing day Memories may turn gray But we'll fight to keep your memory With each passing season Fight to keep your memory Of this friend of ours That is gone but not forgotten Gone but not forgotten This friend of ours is gone Oh…

Square Breathing Imprints of Shattered Arms www.squarebreathing.net Written and Recorded 2015-2016 In Baltimore, Maryland Guitar, Vocals, and Mbira – Michael David Vogtman All guitar parts recorded in one take for each track. Ditto Looper Pedal used on Tracks 2, 3, and 5. All Songs and Lyrics Written by Michael David Vogtman Copyright 2016. Vocals Recorded and Entire Album Mastered by Donnie Beach at White Shadow Studios in Baltimore, MD www.whiteshadowmusic.com All Artwork Created by Jamesy Turner http://highwayspinart.tumblr.com/ Photography Provided by Bobby Anderson http://www.bobbyaphotography.com/ Special Thanks: The number of individuals who have helped in the creation of this album seems to be nearly countless. Their love, support, and help is an invaluable asset in my life that I can scarcely live without. I love you all though I must single out one person in particular for her part in this album’s creation. Janna Morton has been my lover, friend, confidant, partner in crime, second-half, and muse in the creation and refinement of this album. There were many years where I swore I would never play guitar or sing again; years of my life that were ruled by active addiction and severe mental illness. Janna’s continued encouragement gave birth to this album and helped fulfill my dream of creating a full LP; A dream I have had since first listening to Nine Inch Nails’ The Downward Spiral in 1994. Janna has provided innumerable contributions to this album and her artwork can be viewed at www.jannamorton.com My family has also been amazing throughout my entire life and I love everyone of them dearly. From the bottom of my heart I would love to thank Mom, Dad, Lisa, Charles, Sara, Hannah, Rachel, Robert, Margaret, Muzz, DJ, Gus, Dee-Dee, Coleen, Dave, Tony, Christina, and everyone else in my family, Thank you. Michael David Vogtman