Personal Resilience TrainingPersonal Resilience Training

(How to Bounce not Break)(How to Bounce not Break)

With Mark Walsh

House KeepingHouse Keeping

PromisePromise

By the end of today you will have improved resilience

If you practice and review the work for 3 months you’ll have greatly improved resilience

Why Bother?Why Bother?

“AAAAAAhhhhhhhh”

your aims for todayyour aims for today

• be specific

• “by 5pm I...”

• link to what matters to you

LearningLearning(It’s not school)

This usually helps:This usually helps:Be open

Be focussedBe curious and have fun

Make practical and applicable to you

(ask questions)

StrengtStrength is...?h is...?

What What makes makes people people

resilient is...resilient is...

A time when I was A time when I was resilient was...resilient was...

Definitions?Definitions?Resilience is...

- Bouncing back from pressure, stress and adversity- Grace under fire

- Blossoming in the desert

Stress FactsStress Facts

Stress is the leading cause of work absence

Costs a silly amount - UK £26 billion annually (£1035 per person

Stress is the joint leading factor in divorces (Bodenmann, et al.,

2007).

The main killers in the West are stress related

Physical ResponsePhysical Response

Stress ResponseStress Response

Coping Mechanisms

Thinking

Trigger (Neutral)

Integral Resilience Integral Resilience ModelModel

Integral Resilience Integral Resilience ModelModel

- Psychologyhow I think

- The Body - Behaviourhow I react

- Communication- Social support

- Culturehow we interact

- Organisationalsystems and procedures

what we have in place

Stress CurveStress Curve

Boredom Burnout

““Natural Hardiness”Natural Hardiness”

Some Work Stress FactorsSome Work Stress Factors

•Role Clarity•Job Demands

•Control•Change Management

•Support •Relationships (e.g conflict and bullying)

Physical Well-Being FoundationPhysical Well-Being Foundation

The basic factors consistently shown to affect well-being are:

Diet and water intake

Exercise

Sleep and rest

Play/ recreation

Touch

Environment

Smoking, drinking and other drugs (-ve)

•Aware •Balanced•Centre-Line Relaxed

+ Connected (to what you care about and to other people)

+ Definitely Energised

ABC Centring Practice

BreakBreak

Current and Past Current and Past ChallengeChallenge

Resilient ThinkingResilient Thinking

·Acceptance of what can’t be changed·Creative problem solving of what can be·An internal “locus of control”- not being a victim·Flexibility·Realistic optimism·Maintaining reality-based self-esteem·Managing (but not repressing) emotions·Managing conflict·Humour

Growth vs Fixed Growth vs Fixed MindsetMindset

Locus of ControlLocus of Control

• Am I a victim?

• What can I do?

Thinking ErrorsThinking ErrorsBlack and White Thinking (All or Nothing Thinking)

Overgeneralisation

Catastrophising 

Personalisation and Blame

Labelling

Mind Reading / Fortune Telling  

Emotional Reasoning 

Discounting the Positive

What ifs

Egocentric Thinking

Being Right Certainty  

Control Error

Fairness Error

Heaven's Reward Thinking

Unrealistic Comparisons 

Mind your thoughts...Mind your thoughts...

Activating event

Belief

Consequence

Images too

Cognitive ReframingFor any stress inducing thought ask yourself:

Is it really true?

Is it useful?

Imagery and Self-TalkImagery and Self-Talk

CommunicationCommunication

Observations, Observations, Feelings, Needs & Feelings, Needs &

RequestsRequests

vs Judgement, Blame vs Judgement, Blame & Demands& Demands

EIEI

EmpathyEmpathy

- The intention to connect in the present moment

Not sympathy, story telling, consoling, one-upping, data-gathering or problem solving

Saying no and asking Saying no and asking for helpfor help

LunchLunch

Physical predispositions for action (long-term moods)

Invisible...to youInvisible...to you...Very obvious to ...Very obvious to

everyone elseeveryone else

A Dispositions MapA Dispositions Map

Resentment /Frustration (Can’t Change ...Want to

Change)

Action/Ambition (Can Change ...Want to Change )

Acceptance/Peace (Can’t Change ...Don’t Want to

Change )

Resignation/ Apathy (Can Change ...Don’t Want to

Change )

NetworksNetworks

Group Culture and Group Culture and ConflictConflict

ModellingModelling

Feedback?Feedback?

Play, Lightness &Play, Lightness &

Your systems = Your systems = your sanityyour sanity

your productivityyour productivityyour trustworthinessyour trustworthiness

+ order creates space for creativity

Where’s your crumple Where’s your crumple zone?zone?

DecontaminatingDecontaminating

Planning is good ESPECIALLY when stuff happens.

Why your best excuse for not planning?

Switching OffSwitching Off

Depends upon reliable lists and systems

Careful of stimulants, chemical and electronic - have good work systems and “e-hygiene”

Centring, mindfulness and exercise

Happiness - QuizHappiness - Quiz• Social Support and relationships

• Meaningful work

• Sleep

• Exercise

• Altruism

• Nature

• Mindfulness

• Touch

• Not commuting/ not working nights

• Gratitude and forgiveness

• Small wealth differences

• Using Virtues/ Strengths

• Autonomy

• Flow states

Self EsteemSelf Esteem

BreakBreak

Resilience Quotes Resilience Quotes Dryness promotes the formation of flower buds...flowering is, after all, not an aesthetic contribution, but a survival mechanism - Ann Haymond Zwinger

If you learn something from a defeat it isn`t a loss - Autumn worcester

"Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible in us be found." - Pema Chodron

Successful people are prepared to fail more, and they are more persistent than others. - euglena

The bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you refuse to take the turn. - Unknown

Humor prevents one from becoming a tragic figure even though he / she is involved in tragic events. - E. T. Eberhart

I haven't failed. I've identified 10,000 ways this doesn’t work. - Thomas Edison

StrengthsStrengths- using them makes us - using them makes us

happyhappy

Mindfulness

PromisePromise

By the end of today you will have improved resilience

If you practice and review the work you’ll have greatly improved resilience

What are you going What are you going to do about it?to do about it?

- Diarise notes review- E-mail reminders

- Make a committed plan

Autobiography in Five Chapters By Portia Nelson

Chapter I

I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I'm in the same place, but it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in...it's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.