“I would not have made this so long except that I do not have the leisure to make it shorter.”

Blaise Pascal

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New York Times, April 7, 2007

Readability Index

http://www.online-utility.org/english/readability_test_and_improve.jsp

Playboy Enterprises Inc. has _____ to outsource most of ___ business operations of its ________ magazine, as it seeks __ stem losses and restore ___ cachet that helped embed ___ brand in the popular ______.

Playboy Enterprises Inc. has agreed to outsource most of the business operations of its namesake magazine, as it seeks to stem losses and restore the cachet that helped embed the brand in the popular culture.

(Wall Street Journal, November 23, 2009)

•Choose more specific verbs•Eliminate expletive structures•Convert nouns into verbs•Preserve content and tone

Concision: How can I say more with less?

Choose more specific verbs

This report is an analysis of the problem.

This report analyzes the problem.

Savings = 3 words

Choose more specific verbs

The administration was supportive of our program.

The administration supported our program.

Savings = 2 words

Eliminate expletive structures

There will be a demonstration of the new system today.

A representative will demonstrate the new system today.

Savings = 2 words

Eliminate expletive structures

It is necessary for us to find a solution to this problem.

We must solve this problem.

$avings = 7 words

Convert nouns into verbs

His report contains a recommendation that we purchase a new printer.

His report recommends that we purchase a new printer.

Savings = 2 words

Convert nouns into verbs

Who is responsible for the supervision of the temporary staff?

Who should supervise the temporary staff?

Savings = 4 words

Preserve content and tone

The article includes a discussion of methods for the retention of employees.

The article discusses employee retention.

Preserve content and tone

The application deadline pass last week on February 1.

You missed the February 1 deadline.