turning the pages through grief

JUNE2017

“ ”

he sudden and unexpected Tdeath of someone you love can leave you feeling as

though you were cheated out of a lifetime. Since none of us knows the duration of any given life, it is natural to assume we will have our loved ones with us until a ripe old age. Chicago Tribune writer, Mary Schmich, once wrote, “The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind side you at 4 PM on some idle Tuesday.”

That moment that you find out your loved one is no longer with you can be baffling and surreal, at the very least. There may even have been a period of time in which you failed to believe they were really gone. When we care

for someone whose health is failing, at least we have foreknowledge of the inevitable. When death is sudden, however, it can toss us into a state of shock, no matter how young or old the deceased was at the time of their death. I have met widows and widowers of varying ages who maintain that their spouse was taken before they were ready to let them go. Since we generally have no idea when someone will pass away, it's only natural that we would have been in the middle of making plans when they passed—from dinner at a new sushi restaurant, to a trip to Italy, in the wake of death, those plans have now changed drastically.

A dear friend of mine who lost

her fiancé suddenly said the whole day was like a dream from which she couldn't wake. She failed to believe he was really gone, until she got home and saw some loose change he had left on her counter. She recalled that it was the sight of seventy-six cents that sent her spinning with the realism that nothing would ever be the same. The love of her life had passed away in the midst of planning thier wedding and life together.

Another woman I know lost her husband suddenly after having been married for over thirty years. She often thinks about the plans they had to one day retire and move to the Caribbean.

Though the duration of the two

Life is far too important to be

taken seriously. —Oscar Wilde

continued...

saw comingthisI NEVER

by Paulette LeBlanc

“Providing Comfort To Families”www.familyfuneralhome.net

Mandy Luikens & Tiffany A. HoferOwners/Funeral Directors

Highmore, SD ● 605-852-2432 Miller, SD ● 605-853-3127Gettysburg, SD ● 605-765-9637 Faulkton, SD ● 605-598-4141

Eagle Butte, SD ● 605-964-3614

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* * *The purpose of this newsletter is to share thoughts and insights from a variety of

sources on how to live richly and meaningfully through all of life’s chapters.Created and owned by Madsen Ink, Co. • Copyright 2017

chaptersnewsletter@comcast.net

relationships varied greatly, the destruction of plans left in the wake of the deceased was the same.

Plans and dreams left unrealized can feel like a half built house or a bridge that leads nowhere. We are left with the memories of everything we had hoped to yet experience with our loved one, now that they are gone. While it is normal to feel overwhelmed at times at the mere thought of these things, we are also free to

make new plans or keep some of our old dreams.

When you feel the time is right, you can try that new sushi restaurant, or take that long awaited trip to Italy. If and when you are ready to do these things can only be determined by you. Forging full speed ahead toward a goal, in the absence of someone, will not diminish your

previous relationship or memory of that person. In many cases you might find that the person who is deceased would have wanted their loved ones to go forward.

It often helps me to imagine my parents cheering me on in my endeavors, because if they were still here, that's exactly what they'd do. Remember not to move at anyone's pace but your own and to be kind to yourself during this time of grieving.

turning the pages through grief

Paulette LeBlanc, who is trained in family counseling, is a published author, magazine editor and freelance writer, who currently resides on the Gulf Coast of Florida.

yagottalaugh

The Good News about Death **Footnotes

by Susie MooreDeath is perhaps the most constructive fact of our existence. Being aware of death throughout your life can beget the healthiest attitude: one of perspective.

Countless people throughout history knew this too. The ancient Greeks used to “practice death every day,” and the Toltecs would use death as “fuel to live and to love.” The constant reminder ensured they would live more boldly, more kindly, and with less fear.

Here’s how the morbid subject can actually benefit us: Our limited days on earth are the ultimate impetus to live with less fear and more intention.

The majority of the time, many of us live as if there will be no end to our days. We stay in unfulfilling careers. We remain in unhappy relationships. We will travel the world “one day.” We fail to tell people how much they matter to

us. We hide our real truth, gifts, or talents from the world because we are scared of being judged and criticized.

Losing a parent when I was young made this much more real for me. I felt blessed to come to the realization of how precarious and precious life is while still in my younger years. But you don’t need a loss early in your life to take advantage of the wisdom that awaits you. Learn from people who know.

Visit https://susie-moore.com/writer/5-biggest-regrets-of-the-dying for the full article.

Susie Moore is a best-selling author, life coach and entrepreneur. Used by permission.

Plans and dreams leftunrealized can feel like

a half built house

Life ReimaginedDiscovering Your New Life Possibilitiesby Richard J. Leider and Alan M. Webber

Are you at a point in your life where you're asking, “What's next?” Many of us face these transitions at midlife, but they can happen at any point. It's a time full of enormous potential, and it defines a whole new phase of life. It's called Life Reimagined. You'll be inspired by meeting ordinary people who have reimagined their lives in extraordinary ways. One of the profound truths that underlies this book is the liberating notion that each of us is “an experiment of one,” free to find our own path in this new phase of our lives.

amazon.com review