Findings of the Harvard study suggest thatmost undergraduates regard thoughtfulfeedback in its many formswrittencomments on drafts and papers, e-mailmessages responding to proposals orintroductions, and personal conversationsin office hours or after classas central totheir learning experience. In the words ofone study participant, feedback makesthe difference between just reading theassigned books and actually taking thecourse.

Key FindingsAmong the key findings of the study is howstudents make use of the feedback theirinstructors give them. Study participantsreport using feedback not only to guiderevision and improve their performance inthe future. They also use it to understandan instructors expectations, graspmethodology, gauge their progress in acourse, and see their writing from areaders perspective.

Not surprisingly, study participantstestify to the vital role feedback plays intheir very best writing experiences.Feedback improves their writing, as wellas providing them with a more satisfyingwriting experience. Perhaps for thisreason, most report that until they hearfrom their professor or TF, they consider awriting experience only half-finished.

Nancy Sommers, Sosland Director ofExpository Writing, and a team ofresearchers are conducting the pioneeringstudy. Terrence Tivnan, Lecturer onEducation, is performing the statisticalanalysis. The researchers are followingabout 25%, or over 400 members, of theHarvard Class of 2001 through their col-lege years in an attempt to draw a portrait ofthe undergraduate writing experience.Thirty-eight of Harvard Colleges forty-oneconcentrations are represented. Fundingcomes from the Andrew W. MellonFoundation and Harvard PresidentNeil Rudenstine.

Feedback and FreshmenSommers and her researchteam have spent three yearssurveying students, collect-ing and analyzing theirwriting, and conductingin-depth interviewseach semester. According toSommers, specificfeedback is espe-cially useful forfreshmen, wholearn to adjust tocollege expecta-tions through

SPECIAL ISSUE:Responding to Student Writing

STUDY UNDERSCORES IMPORTANCE OF FEEDBACKDoes giving students feedback on their writ ing make a dif ference?According to the Harvard Study of Undergraduate Writ ing, ongoingsince Fal l 1997, t imely and detai led feedback plays a crucial role instudents development as thinkers and scholars .

Nancy Sommers and Laura Saltz

HARVARD WRITING PROJECT BULLETIN

instructors responses to their writing.Students describe their first semester atHarvard as entering Into a foreign land,where something more, something deeper isrequired, Sommers notes, Freshmen usefeedback to understand what it means to thinkin more complex and sophisticated ways. Inthe words of one study participant, My TFscomments showed me other possibilities toconsider and what it would mean to godeeper into a subject.

Sommers reports that freshmen whoreceived feedback early and often during theirfirst year of college made the greatest gains asacademic writers. These freshmen are bestable to make the transition from writingpapers that are a shot in the dark, as onestudy participant puts it, to meeting new andhigher expectations for thinking and writing.It is a testament to the essential role thatfeedback plays for freshmen that as juniorsmany students have vivid memories of thecomments they received during their firstyear at Harvard.

Feedback also serves an important socialfunction for freshmen, Sommers suggests,giving them a sense of belonging and helpingthem feel connected to faculty. At a largeuniversity like Harvard, where students maytake courses in which they are one amonghundreds of others, the feedback they receivemay make them feel distinguished from thecrowd. As one participant explains, Everyonetold me that I would feel anonymous atcollege, but the feedback made me feel as ifsomeone was paying attention to me, readingmy work, making me feel seen and heard.

Role of CommentsSophomores, especially those in writing-inten-sive concentrations, find feedback useful inteaching them how to write within theirchosen disciplinethe kinds of questions toask, approaches to use, and arguments tomake. Laura Saltz, Head Preceptor inExpository Writing and a study researchassociate, points to another benefit of feed-back for sophomores. A goal of sophomoreyear is to find a good fit with a concentration.Feedback can often give students an impor- tant signal of how good the fit is.

Students widely report that among the bestadvice that faculty have given is to write aboutsomething that matters to them, something

they care about. Such advice often comesas a surprise to students, who may regardwriting a paper as merely a course require-ment. As they learn to see writing as anopportunity for personal and intellectualengagement with course material, theybegin to have a greater slake in their owneducation.

One students positive experience in aCore course illustrates this point. My firstcomment from my Shakespeare TF was Ihope youll do something a little less safeon your second paper, she says. Iapproached my second paper by thinkingabout something I didnt know the answerto, something I hadnt sorted out, some-thing that bothered me about the play. Itwas a terrible process. I didnt have a defi-nite answer, but I realized that a paperneeded to be more of an exploration than a presentation of something safe.

Students anecdotes about feedbackarent always positive, of course. Studentsreport feeling insulted and angry whenthey receive little or no feedback on their

writing. Grades seem like condemnationswhen there are no comments, observesone sophomore.

In fact, when asked what recommenda-tions they would give faculty to improvefeedback, as juniors study participantsclaimed to want more, and more useful,responses to their writing. A widemajority87%rated as important orvery important the advice that faculty givemore detailed feedback on papers. Otherpieces of advicethat faculty offer feedbackon drafts and on proposals or tentativethesesreceived similarly high ratings.

Sommerss research focuses on the rangeof writing experiences that students have ina Harvard career and on the courses andinstructors thai influence student writing.She has presented her initial findings atseveral meetings, and plans two booksonefor a scholarly audience and one geared toHarvard studentsonce the study comes toa close. K.W.

Advice for Faculty:If you could offer advice about writinginstruction, how important would thefollowing pieces of advice be?

87%

80%77%

69%

59%

13%

Give more detailed feedback on papers

Offer feedback on drafts

Offer feedback on proposals or tentative theses

Design clearer writing assignments

Hand out guidelines and strategies

Assign more writing

Percentage Indicating Important or Very Important 0

100

2

ver a two-week period duringsophomore year. my world becameDeborah Sampson Gannett (1760-1827),

he subject of my American History anditerature term paper. During the Revolutionaryar, Gannett disguised herself as a man to fight

he British; in 1802, she toured New England torove herself a soldier. On the night she erformed a 21gun drill at Bostons ederal Theatre, Bay State newspapers eralded her as The American Heroine.

My paper focused on how Deborah Sampsonannett taught each speech

he gave as a history lesson. As it appened, my experience of writing

he paper was packed with lessons of nother kindhow important teachers omments can be.

Throughout the process of riting the paper, my tutor kept sking me pointed questionsabout the rminology I used, the stance I took

oward my subject, and the sources I rew upon. What name should I use to efer to Gannett? How could I temper

my zeal with a critical edge? What other omen in American history could I ring in for comparison? These uestions bore fruit not only in a long line of draftsut also in my continually renewed desire to keepesearching and writing.

The experience of writing the Gannett paperame me a sense of journey and promise, as if Iere travelling through an archipelago f larger and larger thoughtislands. Of course, notll of my experiences have been so positive. Somef the comments Ive received on the countlessesponse papers, short assignments, and termapers Ive written at Harvard have left me feelinglternately abbergasted and flat as dead ginger ale.

The most flabbergasting comments Iveeceived were from a TF who kept telling me:Well, I didnt really get a chance to look youraper over in depth, but what youve got looksood. If you just iron things out, itll be great.uh? Instead of giving me a sense of

movement, this remark made me feel ntellectually inert and alone.

The flatness Ive sometimes experiencedcomes from the comments that stays so close tothe subject (and an expected answer) that they dont show any signs of engaging the idea Im trying to voice. A couple of times, Ive had teachers who seem to fight tooth and nail for me to write their own prepack

aged argument instead of helping me shape myideas into an argument of my own.

By contrast, the fantastic comments Ireceived on the Gannett paper helped me seethat my writing and my subject could keepgrowing. Even once I was finished, my tutoralerted me to the American AntiquarianSocietys holdings, a potential site for furtherinvestigation. In the end, such comments notonly send me forward, on journeys both realand metaphorical. They also give me some-thing concrete and inspiring to return to, whenI need to reflect back on one writing project inorder to complete another.

Crist in Hodgens is an AmericanHistory & Literature concentratorwrit ing a senior thesis on theater and activism in the 1960s.

Marginal Commenting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4

Faculty Forum . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5-6

Final Commenting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6-7

Frequently Asked Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8

Responding to Response Papers . . . . . . . . . . .8

Problematic Papers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9

Grading . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10-11

TF Spotlight . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12-13

Responding to Student

Writing in the Sciences . . . . . . . . . . . . .14

Strategies for Speeding

Up the Process . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15

O

Cristin Hodgens

Inside This Issue

EditorKerry Walk

Editorial AssistantElizabeth Abrams

The Harvard Writing Project, aninitiative of Expository Writing, works with faculty and Teaching Fellows throughout Harvard College to develop effective ways of assigning and respond-ing to student writing. Visit us at

or contact us at .

Copyright 2000 The President and Fellows of Harvard College. Duplication of this Bulletin or any parts thereof without written permission of the editor is prohibited. Address correspondence to Tom Jehn of the Harvard Writing Project at or Expository Writing, 8 Prescott Street, Cambridge, MA 02138

COMMENTS THROUGH AStud e nts Eye s

by Cristin Hodgens 00

H a r v a r d W r i t i n gP r o j e c t B u l l e t i n

Harvard Writing Project Bulletin: Special Issue

3

ne of the most significant conversa-tions a teacher can have with a studenttakes place, not in office hours, but in

the margins and between the lines of thestudents paper. Marginal comments are bynature dialogic and multi-purpose: inthem, an instructor may give advice,pose questions, offer praise, expresspuzzlement, suggest new lines ofinquiry, and provoke thought. A verita-ble index of a papers strengths andweaknesses, marginal comments alsoform an important bridge between aninstructors overall assessment of a paper andparticular textual examples that verify it.

To students, it can sometimes seemas if marginal comments come in only twosizes: too few and too many. Comments thatconsist of scattered marks?, !, with theodd good or vague tossed in, are not onlyunhelpful; they leave student writers feelingcheated and angry, and wondering if theirinstructor read their paper closely or at all. Onthe other end of the scale are comments sonumerous or lengthy that they literally obscurethe students words on the page.

Finding the middle ground between notenough and too much is the main challengeof marginal commenting. One effectivemethod is to restrict comments to represen-tative strengths and weaknessesthat is, to

patternsand to mark and discuss each oneonly once or twice. When repeated problems withmisreading evidence, randomly advancing claims,or failing to provide sufficient analysis areaddressed in a marginal note or two, students have

a much better chance of correcting them the nexttime around.

The patterns principle applies to sen-tence-level problems, too. Does the writerover-rely on empty abstractions, spurnactive verbs, or structure everysentence in the same way? Is the papermarred by repeated errors in grammar orpunctuation, or unclear sentences? Byseeing such patterns named and discussedonce, students will begin to see the patternsfor themselves. They will also get the

message that their teachers role is toadvise, assess, and engage, not copy-edit.

Not every pattern has to be a negativeone. Good point, great movehere, convincing evidence, andother positive comments mean a lotto students, as do fuller indicationsof a readers engagement with theirwriting. Positive reinforcementcan yield dramatic results. As onestudent testifies, My tutorial leaderwas very encouraging with his com-ments. He would write great insight,or I hadnt seen it this way. Thesecomments gave me the confidence tobecome bolder with my interpretations. They made a huge difference to me as a writer.

Marginal comments dramatize thenotionnew to most undergraduatesthatpapers are written to be read. They tell awriter that each element in a paper, fromthe way the argument is formulated to howthe sentences are crafted, has an effect on areaders willingness to be persuaded by awriters ideas. When made thoughtfully andjudiciously, marginal comments can helpintroduce students to the world of writtenintellectual exchange. K.W.

O

Tip #1: Comment primarily onpatternsrepresentativestrengths and weaknesses.Noting patterns (and marking these only onceor twice) helps instructors strike a balancebetween making students wonder whetheranyone actually read their paper andoverwhelming them with ink. The patternprinciple applies to grammar and othersentence-level problems, too.

Tip #2: Use a respectful tone.Even in the face of fatigue and frustration, itsimportant to address students respectfully, asthe junior colleagues they are.

Tip #3: Make positivecomments.Students need to know what works intheir writing if theyre to repeat successfulstrategies and make them a permanent partof their repertoire as writers. Students arealso more likely to work hard to improvewhen given some positive feedback.

Tip #4: Write legibly (in anyink but red).If students have to struggle to decipher acomment, they probably wont bother. Redink will make them feel as if their paper isbeing corrected rather than responded to.

Tip #5: Ask questions.Asking questions in the margins promotes auseful analytical technique while helpingstudents anticipate future readers queries.

Tip #6: Use terms thatstudents can understand.Certainly all symbols, but also such wordsand phrases as evidence? and moreanalysis neededcommon marginalcommentsneed to be explained, in eitherthe margins, the final comment, or aglossary of terms and symbols.

Six Tips for Effective Marginal Commenting

One effective method isto restrict comments torepresentative strengthsand weaknessesthat is,to patternsand to mark

and discuss each oneonly once or twice.

The Mysteries of MarginaliaTO O FE W? TO O MA N Y?

4

Lawrence Buell John P. Marquand Professor of English

All academic writing should be evaluated forthe effectiveness with which it presents its ideas and not simply on the basis of the ideasthemselves, because quality of writing is inseparable from quality of thinking. Strictly

Lawrence Buell

speaking, there is no such thing as ideasthemselves apart from the words, sentences,and paragraphs in which they are couched. Not only in literature but in all fields, thestrength or weakness of an analytical paper will always hinge to some extent on success in organization and point-by-point expres-sion. An instructor is sure to be influenced bythe (in)effectiveness of the writing, regard-less of whether she or he consciously realizesit. Such being the case, it is incumbent onthe teacher to make a conscious effort tojudge and to communicate how the paper hasbeen helped or hindered by its writing.

Judith VichniacDirector of Studies in Social Sciences

The biggest challenge in responding to stu-dent writing is to make constructive com-ments while maintaining a critical stance.One key to doing this is to be as specific aspossible about a papers strengths and weak-nesses. Where does the paper succeed, and

Susan PedersenProfessor of Historyand Dean of Undergraduate Education

Wonderful works of history come in allforms, but usually they include two thingsan argument of some kind, and a kind ofcuriosity about and empathy with real peoplein the past. I look for, and try to develop,both of these qualities when I comment onstudent papers. Usually, then, I begin a com-ment with a sentence or two encapsulatingthe students argument. I go on to commenton the clarity with which the student statesthe argument and also on its persuasive-nesssomething that derives in part from thestyle of argumentation but even more fromthe students ability to present supportingevidence well. Because I am a historian andnot a lawyer, though, I always also single outfor attention and praise passages in whichthe student shows a sensitivity to the unex-

Susan Pedersen

pected, quirky, and unpredictable nature ofmany historical events and outcomes. I amnot of the view that one should focus only onargument and ignore the human and dra-matic qualities of the story. I often end, then,with the suggestion that some relativelyminor but intriguing bit of evidence or pieceof the story may be a fruitful subject forfuture research. This is, I find, how a lot ofwonderful senior theses are born.

how might its strengths be reinforced? Wheredoes the paper fall short on the level of argu-mentation, analysis, or expositionand howmight its problems be addressed? Commentsthat are specific not only make students feel asif someone is paying attention, they also helpthem write better next time.

David Pilbeam Henry Ford II Professor of the Social Sciences and Associate Dean of the Faculty of Arts and Sciences

A prompt and thorough response to regularstudent written assignments is perhaps themost useful single thing we as faculty can giveour students. In my own field of human evolu-tionary studies, I look for writing which is

David Pilbeam

Judith Vichniac

Harvard WritingResponding to Student Writing in the Disciplines

Harvard Writing Project Bulletin: Special Issue

5

Faculty Forum continued

clear and direct. Does it clearly explain the ques-tion being addressed? Does it articulate alterna-tive explanations that might have been proposed?Does it explain how different scholars came toconflicting conclusions? Does it arrive at a well-supported opinionthat is, does it avoid a splitthe difference between the experts kind of con-clusion? In my comments, I primarily addresssuch questions as these, which pertain to thelogic of a paper. I also spend time (particularlyearly in a semester) on questions of style: Aresentences mostly short? Has the writer avoidedthe passive voice as much as possible? The resultis usually rapid improvement in students writingability.

Maxine Rodburg Director of the Writing Center

Tone is the art of commenting. How we as teach-ers express our criticisms of a students paper isas important as what our criticisms are.

Maxine Rodburg

This doesnt mean that we should sugar-coat ourmessage or concoct flattery where it isnt war-rantedin fact, students inevitably sniff outsuch falseness and then undervalue or evenshrug off what we have to say. But assuming andrespecting the students personal, intellectualinvestment in what he or she has written meansresponding without rancor or snideness, butrather with steadiness, clarity, and focused frank-ness. Our role as teachers is to attend not only tothe students actual writing but also, always, tohis or her greatest potential.

ood final comments give student writers courage and guidancefirst to look critically attheir writing and then to improve it. Such comments take each paper on its own terms,while helping student writers not only imagine what a better, more interesting version

would look like, but also begin to understand, in concrete terms, how to produce such a papernext time.

By contrast, bad final commentsgeneric, impersonal, perfunctory, confusingcan sodemoralize students that both their writing and overall course performance suffer. Faulty finalcomments take a number of predictable forms; following are some of the most common.

Under-commenting or making comments that are either too few or too general prevents students from identifying problems and seeing practical ways of addressing them.

Over-commenting or injudiciously commenting on every weakness in a papereitherleads the teacher to appropriate the essay, demoralizes the student, or both.

Mean-spirited comments are usually fueled by the teachers frustration at the number of problems in a paper, the students misunderstanding of basic ideas and concepts, or, yes, the workload. The teacher chides where he or she should encourage and advise.

Disorganized comments skip around from one concern to another: You need an overarching thesis to tie your points together. I see that you use a title, which is good, but the title is too informal. More analysis would make your arguments stronger. Bulleting points and organizing them from most to least important is a good antidote.

Mixed-message comments give contradictory advicefor example, that all the student has to do is a lot of extra research and a little polishing, and the paper will be done. Mixed-message comments leave the student writer baffled.

Picayune comments, which focus almost exclusively on small, local issues, often miss the real problems in a paperan inarguable thesis, lapses in logic, misuse of evidence, lack of analysis, and so on.

Comments that ambush find fault with those elements of a paper that the student has gained prior approval for for example, a topic, thesis, or structure.

Content-only comments purport to separate out the ideas in a paper from their presentation. In some versions of content-only comments, the teacher seems to assess a papers strengths and weaknesses in terms of whether he or she agrees with the students point of view rather than whether the argument is persuasively presented.

Content-less comments, a type of under-commenting, fail to engage with the paper inany genuine way, typically imparting generic advice instead: If you were to think more deeply about your argument and tighten your prose a bit, youd have a really good paper here. In the absence of meaningful feedback, the student will write the same mediocre paper over and over again.

GPitfalls to Avoid

FI N A L CO M M E N T S :

6

ommenting on student writing givesteachers their best shot at shaping the way students formulate ideas and

arguments, the principal currency of boththe academy and the larger world of educat-ed people. The final comment, which usuallytakes the form of a letter addressed to thestudent and appended to the paper, is anespecially important vehicle for communi-cating expectations and offering guidance.

The best final comments take student writers seriously, conveying an understand-ing of what they were trying to do and mak-ing concrete suggestions for how it might bedone more effectively. Put differently, thebest comments balance allowing students todiscover and establish their own authoritywith actively helping them improve.

Too often instructors upset this balancein their final comments, as suggested bytypical student complaints. On the onehand, students may think, teachers dontintervene enough in their writing: His com-ments werent specific enough, I couldnt

figure out what she wanted me to do, Inever knew what he was looking for. On theother, teachers sometimes run too muchinterference: She only liked what I wrotewhen I gave her back her ideas, He madea suggestion that would have meant a wholenew paper, I wrote what she wanted tohear.

Striking a Balance To give student writers appropriatedirection, its necessary to find a middleground where students have enough comments to guide and motivate them, but not so many that they feel pro-grammed or pushed around. In this middle ground, complaints ideally give way to gratitude: My instructor helped me figure out what I wanted to say.

To write final comments that attain the middle ground, many instructors keep the following points in mind, and even use them to structure their remarks:

Try to understand and appreciate what the student was attempting to do. Students will be much more receptive to suggestions if they feel listened to. Opening a comment with a restatement of the thesis (or, in the absence of a thesis, the subjectarea) lets the student see that the instructortook the paper seriously; it also helps groundthe comment in the papers argument.

Stay in touch with whats good aboutany particular piece of writing. Praise in the final comment, as in the mar-gins, goes a long way to encouraging writers. Itnot only acknowledges their efforts but alsohelps them identify and develop theirstrengths. As one student puts it, When myinstructor said something was good, I felt veryproud, and this helped my writing. Specificexamples make the praise believable.

Limit the number of critical pointsto three or four. Its not necessary to comment on every littlething that went wrong in a paper. Three or fourpoints is all any writer can handle at one time.These should be presented hierarchically, inwhat Nancy Sommers, Sosland Director ofExpository Writing, calls a scale of con-cerns from global (problems with thesis,structure, analysis, and so on) to local (prob-lems with sentences and formatting). Specificexamples help the student to

see the paper through the commentatorseyes. Practical solutions to the problemsdiscussed in the comment give the studenthope and encouragement.

Chicken Scratch One last tip: If students cant easily readcomments, theyre likely to ignore them.Handwritten comments should be writtenlegibly and in a straight line, not on anangle, up the side of a page or onto thereverse side. Instructors with unclear hand-writing should type final comments.

Although responding effectively to stu-dent writing can be challenging, a com-ment that urges, and perhaps inspires, astudent to become a better, more self-criti-cal writer and thinker is usually worth theeffort

K.W.

A Format forFinal Comments

Many instructions use the following format to pres-ent their comments in an organized way:

I Salutation (Dear So-and-So)

II Restatement of the papers main point.

III Discussion of the papers strengths.

IV Discussion of the papers weaknesses, focusing on large problems first.

V Concluding remark(s).

VI Closing and signature (Sincerely, So-and-So)

C

The best final

comments take student

writers seriously,

conveying an

understanding of what

they were trying to do

and making concrete

suggestions for how

it might be done

more effectively.

Its not necessary tocomment on every

little thing that wentwrong in a paper.

Three of four pointsis all any writer canhandle at one time.

MAKING THE MOST OFFinal Comments

Harvard Writing Project Bulletin: Special Issue

7

Frequently AskedQuestions

How long should my final comment be? There is no standard length for a final comment,just as there is no standard amount of time thatit takes to read and respond to a piece of studentwriting. The final comment needs to be longenough for students to understand the issues atstake but not so long that theyll feel over-whelmed. In most cases, this means a final com-ment that, single spaced, is about a half-page toa page long. This is a guideline only, and thereare many exceptions.

Should I mark grammatical andpunctuation errors?It can be difficult to resist fixing students sen-tences, but extensive copy-editing is a bad idea:it detracts attention from global issues, such asargument. Either copy-edit representatively, togive student writers an example they can emu-late, or, in the margins, note patterns of sen-tence-level problems, including punctuation,grammar, and other mechanical errors. Andremember: confusing prose may be a sign not ofwriting problems per se but of conceptual prob-lems. As students become familiar with a subjectmatter and the principal methodologies forapproaching it, their writing is likely to improvedramatically.

How can I give students low gradeswithout hurting their feelings?All but the most self-critical students may feelhurt by a low grade, but that doesnt meaninstructors shouldnt give them. Honest gradeshelp students see the strengths and weaknesses oftheir writing more clearly. Using clear and con-sistent criteria to discuss and judge student writ-ing can ease the pain of a low grade. As one stu-dent noted after getting back a paper that hadbeen assigned a low grade, If my pride was hurt,I cant complain that the grade was unfair. Imlooking forward to improving on the next paper.

A Commenting StrategyComments on response papers should make twomoves:

A good comment names one thing the stu-dent writer has done well. Maybe the writer haschosen an interesting passage or two to focus on,or analyzes evidence well, or is proposing aninteresting argument. By learning what theyredoing well, students can repeat their success inthe future.

A good comment names one thing the student writer needs to work on. This means identifying the main problem, giving

an example from the students writing, and sug-gesting a strategy for addressing it.

Many students experience writing for a partic-ular course or discipline as a process of trial anderror. Brief, thoughtful feedback on responsepapers can give student writers a welcome senseof purpose, as well as a new understanding ofdisciplinary conventions and expectations.

K.W.

esponse papers are fast becoming a staple ofHarvard courses, and for good reason. When writ-

ten in response to a focused assignment,these one-pagers do more than guaranteethat students are prepared for section.They also give students practice using the

skills necessary to write a five- or even twenty-five-page paper successfullyfoundational skillssuch as close-reading a text and assessing anargument.

Many students like response papers because,in the words of one junior, they give you moreopportunities for feedback.

In fact, feedback is crucial if students are toderive the full benefit of these short, skill build-ing assignments. The check mark (~1+, 4, orNl-) that most instructors assign to responsepapers lets students know if theyre on the righttrack. A brief but pointed comment does muchmore: it affirms or redirects their effortsbeforethey tackle a longer paper, where more is atstake.

R

Response Paper Comment on a Critical Summary

Dear MartyYou do a good job of summariz ing Rankins argument in yourown words, and the few snippets youquote are v iv id and short . That s great !But you sound as i f you buy every argument Rankin is making. What aresome of h is under ly ing assumpt ions?Does he fa ir ly and accurate ly representthe tex t ? What are poss ib le objec t ions tohis argument? Jus t because hes famousdoesnt make him r ight ! Try reading himagain from a skept ic s point o f v iew.Doing that i s what makes a cr i t ica l summary cr i t ica l .

Joanne

Response PapersRE S P O N D I N G T O

8

ven the most effective commentingstrategy wont be successful unless thecommentator has fully understood and

appreciated the problems and possibilitiesinherent in a piece of writing. It takes timeand practice to develop such insight, the special brand of diagnostic skill that enables some readers to know from just aquick glance that a well-written paper lacks an arguable thesis or that a structuralnightmare has the spark of a great idea.

What such skilled diagnosticians recognize is the importance of having a

papers often fail in predictable ways. Bybeing able to recognize some of these, teach-ers may deepen their insight into studentwriting.

Below is a chart featuring a few commontypes of problematic papers, as well as waysto diagnose and treat them. (Note that mostinvolve difficulties with thesis.) It can beuseful to keep these types in mind whilereading student papers, many of which com-bine the characteristics of more than onetype.

K.W.

scale of concerns, in which global issues(thesis, structure, evidence) take precedenceover local issues. Focusing on the big picturefirst can help student writers do the same.

Just as the ability to rank writing issueson a scale of concerns is crucial to diagnos-ing papers successfully, so also is having amental catalogue of typical ways a paper cango wrongand a strong sense of how aproblematic paper might ultimately go right.For understandable reasons (the relativecoherence of the American educational system being an important one), student

E

PROBLEMATIC PAPERS:Diagnosis and Treatment

Harvard Writing Project Bulletin: Special Issue

The Museum Tour Lists reasons, components, The apparent problem is a The writer should as a a.k.a. The Laundry List proofs, or examples rather predictable structure, the actual provocative question and posit

than exploring a question problem is a descriptive rather a good answer about oneor developing an argument. than argumentative thesis. coherent issue or theme.

The confusing paper Typically the product of a The apparent problem is an If the paper lacks an arguablestudent writer who doesnt unpredictable structure; the central claim, the writer willknow either how to develop actual problem may have to do require assistance to discovera thesis that drives a papers with thesis. a better one. if the paper hasstructure or how to organize such a claim; the writer needsideas. concrete advice about how to

argue for it logically.

The Unpersuasive Paper Falls into two main types, Unpersuasive papers play The write needs to re-examinein which: (1) the claims are fast and loose with evidence both claims and evidence bybased on a misreading or a and/or fail to analyze the asking. Wheres the evidencepreconception: (2) the claims evidence sufficiently, i.e. to support my claim? Howare sound but insufficiently connect it to the claim. do I account for the substantiated; if provided, counter-evidence? Have I the evidence is insufficiently analyzed the evidence suchanalyzed. that my reader can see

what I see?

The Hard-to-Read Paper Usually exhibits the symptoms Conceptual problems are Contorted writers profit from of one or more of the above compounded by problems. hearing their writing readpaper types, but also has with style and audience. The aloud and making writtenhard-to-read sentences- contorted writers believe that sentences as clear as spokeneither highly abstract and academic writing is inflated; ones. Simplistic writers profitcontorted or simplistic, the simplistic writers have From patterning their sentenceschoppy, and inert. little writing experience in an after good models.

academic context.

paper type symptoms diagnosis treatment

T y p e s o f P r o b l e m P a p e r s

9

heres an old joke about a professor whogrades papers by hurling them down astaircase: the farther the flight, the higher

the grade. As this joke suggests, grades are seen bymany as random and subjective, a belief that ram-pant grade inflation at the college level hashelped to reinforce.

Yet grades have the potential to be among the most powerful tools in a teachers kit.When standards are announced and consistentlyapplied, grades provide a reasonably objectivemeasure of achievement, signaling to students theextent to which they need to challenge familiarways of thinking and writing.

Grades also give written comments an edge theymight not otherwise have.

As useful as grades are, assigning them can bea perplexing business, for new and veteran teach-ers alike. This is especially so when the stack ishigh and the papers arent easily categorizable: asmart, lively paper may lack a coherent argument;a misshapen wreck may yield up some breathtak-ing insights. Given the inherent difficulties ofgrading, how can it be accomplished in a fair,consistent, and efficient way?

Grading CriteriaFor students to be motivated by grades, they needto believe the grades they get are fair, not arbitraryor idiosyncratic. Students must, in other words,trust their teachers judgment. One way to encour-age this trust is to provide students with gradingcriteria early on and to use the criteria when dis-cussing or evaluating.(see p. 11 for sample crite-ria.) When students are made aware of the widelyshared qualities of good writing, and when their

flight patterns. It means grading the actual paperas well. Rather than assigning a grade based onwhat a paper seems at first glance to be, or what inhindsight it might have been, its more fair and

more objective to grade the paper as it actually is.

Concrete Strategies for GradingWhen used in conjunction with the above princi-ples, the following four-step method furtherreduces the subjectivity of grading:

Step One. Read through the stack before grad-ing any paper. Identifying what the strongestpapers are doing (and not doing) and the ways inwhich the weakest ones go awry can indicate whatideal responses to the assignment may look like.

Step Two. Use grading criteria to describeeach paper. Stepping back from a paper anddescribing it in terms of grading criteria can leadto a more dispassionate judging process. Chancesare, most papers will just seem like a B+ untilthe qualities they exhibit are identified and com-pared to the ideal.

Step Three. Determine upper-half and lower-half papers. Whether a paper is in the upper half or the lower half of the grade rangedepends primarily on how effective the papersthesis and structure are: a readable A paper with a clear argument will usually receivean upper-half grade (B- or higher); a paper thatsdifficult to read and doesnt have a clear argumentwill usually receive a lowerhalf grade (C+ orlower). Note that instructors who de facto compressthe grade range (from A through E to, say, Athrough B-) will draw the upper-half/lower-halfborder at a correspondingly higher point (at B+,for example).

Step Four. Make line distinctions. To home inon more precise grades, consider why a papershould receive a particular grade, not somethingslightly higher or slightly lower.

Although grading a piece of writing will neverbe an exact science, implementing the simpletechniques discussed here can make the processless subjective and even less agonizing. Gradingwithout a staircase may turn out to be not so diffi-cult after all. K.W.

writing is measured against these criteria, theyrebetter able to trace a disappointing grade back tothe source the paper, not the teacher and tosee how they can improve next time.

Most experienced readers agree that the pri-mary hallmarks of excellent writing are an inter-esting, arguable thesis; the development of the the-sis in a logical yet supple way; the substantiationof it and any subclaims with incisively analyzedevidence; the engaging use of properly attributedsources when appropriate; and a clear, compellingstyle that conforms to standard usage.

Many teachers create and distribute gradingrubrics in which these qualities are used to

describe A, B, C, D, and E papers. Maxine Rodburg, Director of the Writing Center, believes that hand-ing out a grading rubric is essential. The lastthing I want, she says, is for my students tobelieve that grades are mysterious entities thatarrive like gifts or punishments from the capri-cious and unreadable mind of the teacher. (SeeRodburgs grading rubric on page .)

Nothing But the PaperGrading with clear criteria in mind helps toensure fairness and objectivity. So does anotherprinciple of grading: Grade the paper and noth-ing but the paper not the person who wrote it,the effort that went into it, or the improvement itshows. This principle dramatically simplifies thetask of evaluation by eliminating second guessing;it also guarantees that students are judged on anequal basis.

Grade the paper and nothing but the papermeans grading the entire paper, not just a part ofit. Papers bend and swoop and turn, and gradesneed to be responsive to their sometimes erratic

T

When standards are announced and consistently applied,

grades provide a reasonably objective measure of achievement,

signaling to students the extent to which they need to challenge

familiar ways of thinking and writing. Grades also give written

comments an edge they might not otherwise have.

Subjectivity of GradingCO M B AT T I N G T H E

10

CRITERIA FOR GRADINGStudent

WritingKeeping the following criteria in mindwhile reading student writing can helpmake grading a less overwhelmingandless subjectiveprocess.

THESIS: Is there one main argument in thepaper? Does it fulfill the assignment? Is the thesisclearly stated at the beginning of the paper? Is itinteresting, complex? Is it argued throughout?

STRUCTURE: Is the paper clearly organized? Isit easy to understand the main point of eachparagraph? Does the order of the overall argu-ment make sense, and is it easy to follow?

EVIDENCE AND ANALYSIS: Does the paperoffer supporting evidence for each of its points?Does the evidence suggest the writers knowledgeof the subject matter? Has the paper overlookedany obvious or important pieces of evidence? Isthere enough analysis of evidence? Is the evi-dence properly attributed, and is the bibliograph-ical information correct?

SOURCES: If appropriate or required, aresources besides the main text(s) under considera-tion used? Are they introduced in an understand-able way? Is their purpose in the argument clear?Do they do more than affirm the writers view-point or represent a straw person for knockingdown? Are responsible inferences drawn fromthem? Are they properly attributed, and is thebibliographical information correct?

STYLE: Is the style appropriate for its audience?Is the paper concise and to the point? Are sen-tences clear and grammatically correct? Are therespelling or proofreading errors?

hese are the standards I adhere to when I grade essays. Pluses and minuses represent shadesof difference, as do split grades (e.g. B-/C). I assign grades on the evidence of the essay sub-mitted, not on effort or time spent.

Excellent in every way (this is not the same as perfect). This is an ambitious, perceptive essaythat grapples with interesting, complex ideas; responds discerningly to counter-arguments, andexplores well-chosen evidence revealingly. The discussion enhances, rather than underscores,the readers and writers knowledge (it doesnt simply repeat what has been taught). There is acontext for all the ideas; someone outside the class would be enriched, not confused, by readingthe essay. Its beginning opens up. rather than flatly announces, its thesis. Its end is somethingmore than a summary. The language is clean, precise, often elegant. As a reader I feel surprised,delighted, changed. Theres something new here for me, something only the essays writer couldhave written and explored in this particular way. The writers stake in the material is obvious.

A piece of writing that reaches high and achieves many of its aims. The ideas are solid and progressively explored, but some thin patches require more analysis and/or some stray thoughtsdont fit in. The language is generally clear and precise but occasionally not. The evidence isrelevant, but there may be too little; the context for the evidence may not be sufficientlyexplored, so that I have to make some of the connections that the writer should have made clear for me. OR A piece of writing that reaches less high than an A essay but thoroughlyachieves its aims. This is a solid essay whose reasoning and argument may nonetheless berather routine. (In this case the limitation is conceptual.)A piece of writing that has real problems in one of these areas: conception (theres at least onemain idea but its fuzzy and hard to get to); structure (confusing); use of evidence (weak or

non-existentthe connections among the ideas and the evidence are not made and/or arepresented without context, or add up to platitudes or generalizations): language (the sentencesare often awkward, dependent on unexplained abstractions, sometimes contradict each other).The essay may not move forward but rather may repeat its main points, or it may touch uponmany (and apparently unrelated) ideas without exploring any of them in sufficient depth.Punctuation, spelling, grammar, paragraphing, and transitions may be a problem. OR Anessay that is largely plot summary or ~interpretive summary of the text, but is writtenwithout major problems.OR An essay that is chiefly a personal reaction to something. Well-written, but scant intellectu-al contentmostly opinion.

These are efforts that are wildly shorter than they ought to be to grapple seriously with ideas;OR Those that are extremely problematic in many of the areas mentioned above: aims, struc-ture, use of evidence, language, etc.; OR Those that do not come close to addressing the expectations of the assignment.

TA

B

C

D and E

The last thing I want is for my students to believe that grades

are mysterious entities that arrive like gifts or punishments

from the capricious and unreadable mind of the teacher.

Maxine Rodburg

A GRADING RUBRICby Maxine Rodbury, Director of the Writing Center

Harvard Writing Project Bulletin: Special Issue

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Teaching Fellows do the lions share of commenting and grading at Harvard. Undergraduates, grateful for the time and effort that many TFs spend responding to papers, testify to the profound influence their section leadersand tutors can have on their writing. Participants in the longitudinal Study of Undergraduate Writing (see this issuescover story) praise TFs most for giving them concrete advice on the hows of writinghow to approach course material,how to go deeper into a subject, how to connect ideas to larger questions, themes, and issues.

With me help of TFs, undergraduates become bolder, more confident writers. Following are the thoughts of five experienced TFs on the topic of responding effectively to student writing.

Rena Selya H i s t o r y o f S c i e n c e

I t ry to make my comments on papers useful for the s tudent e i ther for wri t ing the nextpaper or for reworking the current one. I t s of ten tempting at the end to wri te Fine orWeak argument and a grade, but that doesnt teach s tudents anything or help themunderstand what their instructor i s looking for. I tend to focus on argument and organi-zat ion, so I t ry to of fer concrete examples and ways in which s tudents ideas can be reor-ganized or presented in a s tronger way. I also try to l ink the ass ignment to the largergoals of the course , to help s tudents see how the wri t ing they do connects to the otherthings they are learning. Quest ions such as How does your approach f i t in to the way wehave been thinking about this part icular i ssue? give them clues as to how to wri te bet terpapers for the class in the future.

Rena Se lya i s a f i f th -year doc toral s tudent in the His tory o f Sc ience . She has TFdfor several courses in her home depar tment and was recent ly Head Teaching Fe l lowof His tor ical S tudies B-46: The Darwinian Revolut ion. She i s current ly a GraduateFe l low at the Dibner Ins t i tu te for the His tory o f Sc ience .

Christopher White The Study of Religion

I generally have a list of things Im looking forclear, contestable thesis, clear organization,thoughtful argumentation, well-integrated quotations, and so on. I type up this list and discuss itwith my students so they know what I expect and how I grade their work. I find that when studentsknow how they will be evaluated, they feel more confident as writers and more comfortable withmy criticism. When I write comments on student papers, I use this list as a guide, and I often referstudents back to it. In general, I have found that having this list helps students improve their writ-ing. It also helps me grade their work fairly and consistently.

Chris White, a Ph.D. candidate in the Study of Religion, has served as Head Teaching Fellow for Religion 13: Scriptures and Classics, and has TFd for several other courses, includingReligion 2042: Religion, Nationalism and Peace, and History 1661: Social Thought in ModernAmerica.

Rena Selya

Christopher White

SpotlightTE A C H I N G FE L L O W

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Alice Ristroph Government / Law School

Like many TFs, I dont like grading insofar as the task involves ranking papers and trying to makeever-elusive distinctions. What redeems the whole endeavor for me is the knowledge that responding to papers offers an unusual opportunity to give students individualized attention. When I evaluate a paper, I can focus my energy on a single student much more completely than is typically possible in a section of 6 to 8 students. In my comments, I try to help students withtheir particular weaknesses and at the same time encourage them to develop their individualstrengths.

Alice Ristroph is a fifth-year doctoral student in Government and a third-year student at the law School. She has TFd for several courses, including Moral Reasoning 22: Justice.

Daniel Gutierrez His tory

Marking grammatical and stylistic mistakes with red ink might prove to students that someoneread their paper, but the real joy of responding to student writing is engaging in a dialogue aboutideas and their presentation. If clear writing is a reflection of clear thinking, then there is no bet-ter way to help students improve their writing than to focus on the main ideas of their paper, tochallenge them to re-think and better articulate their arguments. My comments on a paper aremost effective when theyre an extension of class discussion. And like any good discussion, the best comments are based on a series of tough questions that do not presuppose the existence ofany one right answer, but which are intended to help students think for themselves.

Daniel Gutierrez is a fourth-year doctoral student in History. He was Head Teaching Fellow for Historical Studies A-s3: Democracy, Equality, and Development in Mexico.

Casey Due Class ic s

When students try to write a paper on a topic that is completely new to them or for a class out-side their concentration, they tend to substitute general observations, which no one would takeissue with, for an arguable thesis. Interestingly, many students do come up with a thesisintheir concluding paragraph. I encourage students to meet with me after they have written adraft but before they have handed in the final version. My advice is almost always the same:Take your last paragraph and put it first, then argue your main point with support from thetext. In many cases, the rewriting involved is minimal, but the result is a focused paper thatmakes an argument instead of an observation.

Casey Due is a fifth year doctoral student in Classics. She will be Head Teaching Fellow forLiterature & Arts C-14: The Concept of the Hero in Greek Civilization in Spring coo, and hasTFd for many other Classics courses, including Literature & Arts C-61, The Rome of Augustus.Her dissertation, in progress, explores the oral tradition of Homeric poetry in The Illiad.

Alice Ristroph

Daniel Gutierrez

Casey Due

Harvard Writing Project Bulletin: Special Issue

13

cience courses may be one of the last places students expect to write, much less to write well.But as any working scientist knows, the discipline demands clear, concise, and frequent writ-ing. In the laboratory or research environment, we write to document methods, record

results, and interpret data. In the scientific literature, we write to share our findings with col-leagues. In our quest for funding, we write grant proposals. And in our desire to communicate sci-entific information to a wider audience, we write essays, textbooks, letters-to-the-editor, and bookreviews.

When students write in science courses, they acquire an important professional skill. Writing alsogives science students a powerful tool with which to understand and delve into new and sometimesdifficult concepts. In writing, they can turn the concepts over and around and inside-out untilthey have exhausted alternative hypotheses and expressed technical ideas clearly and concisely.

As science instructors, we may believe that we lack the necessary expertise to give our students use-ful, relevant feedback. In my experience, two discrete strategies can make responding to studentwriting in the sciences much easier.

Expectations The first strategy is to delineate expectationsfor each assignment and to recall theseexpectations when assessing student writing.I answer the following questions for myselfthen share the information with my class

What is the purpose of the assignment?I. e., What do I want students to learn In theprocess of completing it?

How does the assignment fit into theobjectives and structure of the course?

How will I evaluate the results?

For example, the purpose of a weekly lab report may be for students to demonstrate their understanding of specificscientific concepts and details ofexperimental procedures. I thereforeexpect the writing to convey a great deal of accurate, factual information in an organized fashion.By contrast, a research paper may be the place where I want students to conduct an independentanalysis and present their results within the context of the field. I expect to find a hypothesis thatis relevant to existing scientific research, along with a readable discussion of the students meth-ods, results, and conclusions.

By making my expectations explicit, I have found that my students are in a stronger position towrite good papers and that I have a clearer sense of the criteria to be used in my assessment.

Uncertainty and WritingThe second strategy derives from an insightthat uncertainty of thought in undergraduate sciencewriting often masquerades as writing problems. I used to make the mistake of addressing these

basic writing problems to the exclusion of the students underlying conceptual difficul-ties. But then I realized that mere summary,grammatical mistakes, overly scientific orunscientific word choices, and other fun-damental problems typically appear whenstudents are in the process of sorting outconcepts that they are only just learning tothink about. This realization prompted me todevelop a more productive feedback strategy.

When responding to student writing, Iread first for the overall point and thensummarize it in a few sentences. If the stu-dent has lost the thread of logic while tryingto write about an unfamiliar or technicalsubject, this tactic often suggests where theargument foundered. When I open my com-ment with these sentences, I also indicate tothe student that I have read the work,respect the students thought process, andwish to help the student think independentlyand critically about the subject.

After summarizing the students mainpoint, I have found that my most helpfulcomments address the specifics of any mis-understandings or misinterpretations. Byexplaining a physical principle precisely andconcisely in writing addressed to the stu-dent, I both elucidate the concept and pro-vide a working example of how to writeabout it. In sharp contrast to commentsfocused on writing problems, such com-ments give students a useful starting pointfor rethinking their ideas.

Cassandra Volpe Horii is a sixth-year Ph.D.candidate in Earth and Planetary Sciences.Her dissertation topic addresses the role ofreactive nitrogen in the chemistry of theearths atmosphere. She has been a Teachingfellow in CPS and the Core. as well as a con-sultant for the Derek Bok Center, a SeniorTeaching Fellow, and a Graduate WritingFellow.

S

Cassandra Volpe Horii

Student Writing in the SciencesRE S P O N D I N G T O

by Cassandra Volpe Horil

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heres no doubt about it: responding tostudent writing is a time-consumingprocess. But while reading, comment-

ing on, and grading papers will always taketimeanywhere from 20 to 45 minutes for atypical 5- to 7-page papermany instructorsfind that taking certain steps can help makethe process faster and easier.

Many of these steps have been describedelsewhere in this issue of the Harvard Writing Project Bulletin. They include

The rationale for each of these strategiesis that knowing what to look for in student

writing, and knowing how to discuss thestrengths and weaknesses of papers with students, can make the commenting andgrading process more efficient and effective. But these strategies are not the only onesavailable to instructors who wish to facilitatethe responding process. Taking certain

steps before the papers come in can make a significant difference in the quality of writing stu-dents produceand thus in the experience of responding to it. Four strategies in particular areworth trying out:

Designing Effective Writing Assignments The motto of assignment design is You get what you ask for. An unfocused, inexact writingassignment is likely to yield unfocused, inexact papers. By contrast, an assignment that creates anoccasion for sustained argument has a good chance of actually producing it. One way of conceiv-ing of a good assignment is to imagine an ideal paper on an issue, text, or set of texts, then tothink backwards from the paper to the assignment that will produce it. Having drafted the assign-

ment, its crucial to read it from a students point of view for clarity and comprehensibility.

Responding to Proposals, Outlines, and Drafts Although responding to students efforts at various stages in the writing process is itself time-con-suming, the investment is worth making: the five minutes it takes to read and critique a tentativethesis or outline via e-mail, or the 20 minutes spent with a student in office hours discussing adraft, not only saves time down the line, it can mean the difference between getting an uninterest-ing, descriptive, or confusing paper and one thats refreshingly original and well-argued.

Organizing Students into Writing Groups By participating in a writing group of two or three people who are assigned to read and respond toeach others papers, students derive two main benefits: they start working on their papers earlierthan they might otherwise have done, and they begin to realize that, for their writing to be effec-tive, it must engage and persuade real readers. And although students cant necessarily provideone another with scholarly guidance (for example, the context for a debate or a list of relevantsources), they can learn to identify weaknesses in an argument and make concrete suggestions forrevision, skills that they can in turn apply to their own writing.

Asking for a Cover Letter Self-awareness in writingknowing what works in a paper and what doesntis one of the keys toimprovement. Students who are required to submit their papers with a cover letter attachedbecome more self-conscious writers through the experience of reflecting on a papers strengthsand weaknesses. Cover letters also facilitate the commenting process by creating a dialoguebetween reader and writer: given the chance to respond to a writers specific concerns and ques-tions, the instructor (or any reader) is better positioned to make comments that are more indi-vidualized and thus more useful.

Good writing is a pleasure to read. By implementing teaching techniques that encouragegood writing, the sometimes onerous process of responding to student writing can be made notonly more expedient but more enjoyable as well. K.W.

T

skimming through the pile to discern therange of responses to an assignment;

reading each essay through quickly, beforemaking any marks, to identify majorstrengths and weaknesses;

thinking about strengths and weaknessesin terms of clear assessment criteriathesis,structure, analysis and so on;

commenting representatively in the mar-gins by noting patterns;

using a reliable format for structur-ing final commentsfor example,restatement of thesis, discussion ofstrengths, and discussion of weak-nesses;

identifying in final comments no morethan three or four areas for Improvement.

Taking certain steps before the papers come in can make a significant difference in the quality

of writing students produceand thus in the experience of responding to it.

STRATEGIES FORSpeeding Up the Process

Harvard Writing Project Bulletin: Special Issue

15

The Harvard Writing Project offers two kinds of workshops

for faculty and TFs on responding to student writing:

> Course-specific workshops, in which Writing Project consultants attend a staff-meeting to share strategies for commenting and grading using papers from the course, and

> College-wide workshops on responding to student writing for faculty and TFs from different courses.

To schedule a workshop for your course or to find out the dates of the college-wide workshops, contact Tom Jehn, of the Harvard Writing Project at or 495-5785.

HARVARD WRITING PROJECT

Expository Writing Program

Harvard University

8 Prescott Street

Cambridge, MA 02138