document

Founded in 1949 The Newspaper of Imperial College Union

G A M E O V E R FOR P I N B A L L W I Z A R D . Mr Barney McCabe has resigned from his position as ICU Deputy

President following a motion of no confidence at last Monday's

ICU Council meeting.

T h e start of the meeting was delayed by over twenty minutes as

there were not enough C o u n c i l members present to form a q u o r u m .

U n d e r the D e p u t y P r e s i d e n t ' s bus iness there was a n e x t e n s i v e

discussion about the p inba l l and video machines in the U n i o n L o w e r

Lounge . Last year the U n i o n earned considerable revenue from these

machines but so far this session they have lost ,£2,000. T h e D P was

criticised for his h a n d l i n g of the s ituation; in part i cu lar , that he d i d not

realise the seriousness of the prob lem a n d take action earlier.

M r P h i l i p N a t h a n , L i f e Sciences D e p R e p , then proposed a mot ion

of no confidence in the D P . In his proposal speech he out l ined how he

considered that Barney had not done his job in a satisfactory manner .

A n amendment to the mot ion (proposed by C h r i s Webb) to further

instruct the C h a i r m a n of C o u n c i l (Nick M o r t o n ) to take the mot ion of

no confidence to the next U G M was accepted.

P h i l Greenstreet (DP-elect) then spoke against the motion. H e

pointed out areas where he thought the D P had achieved something,

but on a secret vote the mot ion of no confidence was carr ied. T h e

vot ing was 14 for; 7 against; and . 2 abstentions.

After the result had been announced, M r M c C a b e concluded his

report bv tendering his resignation a n d leaving the meeting. H e also

handed M a r c o L e d w o l d a letter con f i rming that his resignation wou ld

take effect from F r i d a y . A p r i l 2.

A t this point C o u n c i l became inquorate a n d the meeting was closed.

There was, however, some discussion over whether the mot ion of no

confidence should be taken to the U G M . Eventua l l y Ch r i s W e b b

agreed to speak to such a mot ion instead of N i c k M o r t o n .

After the meeting Barney stated that he had not resigned from his

post as E d i t o r of The Phoenix and intended to continue product ion of

the magazine.

R o c k o n T o m m y

It was not u n t i l early last week that the loss of money from the games

m a c h i n e was n o t i c e d . A f t e r M r N i c k M o r t o n , I C U P r e s i d e n t ,

requested an estimate for next

y e a r ' s i n c o m e f r o m g a m e s

machines it was discovered that

expenditure on rental exceeded

income by approx ^2,000.

T h e reasons for the situation

are not clear; a series of thefts

over the summer and a fall-off in

useage may account for some

loss, but it was estimated that

over ,£2,000 profit should have

been made by the end of this

year. It was suggested at I C U

C o u n c i l that the Deputy Presi

dent should have noticed the loss

earl ier and taken appropriate

act ion.

Mascots Returned A c r o w d of o v e r f i f ty p e o p l e g a t h e r e d i n B e i t Q u a d r a n g l e on

Wednesday luncht ime to witness the return of Spanner a n d Bolt .

T h e violated mascot of C i t y and G u i l d s U n i o n had been in the

possession of the R o y a l College of Science U n i o n since February 4 and

were or ig inal ly to be returned last T h u r s d a y .

C i t y and G u i l d s U n i o n had performed a series of tasks in order to

secure the return of the mascots. These inc luded sending Valent ine ' s to

the R C S U Execut ive , c leaning shoes, sel l ing pancakes and even

accompany ing R C S U mascotry on a ra id to K i n g s College. Besides

this, C & G U President A n d y R u s h t o n raised money by a sponsored

alcohol-free period and other members of G u i l d s knitted a scarf.

T h e total raised for R C S U R a g is believed to be in excess ol £330.

"No 611 Friday, March26,1982 F r e e !

Dear Mr Smith

W e think our new president

w o u l d g r e a t l y i m p r o v e his

image i f he had a shave. C a n

we really have a leader with a

beard.

Tours sincerely

A . B l a c k , N . M i l l e r , A .

H u n t e r , D . Poley, P. L i n d e -

tend, a l l of M E 3 .

Sir

I a m wr i t ing to you today

i n disapproval of the crit ic ism

my College is receiving from

the ant i -apartheid movement

for a l l owing South A f r i can

m i n i n g companies access to

Bri t ish students for recruit

m e n t overseas . It is w e l l -

k n o w n that G r e a t B r i t a i n

re l ies h e a v i l y u p o n S o u t h

A f r i c a ' f o r i m p o r t a n t r a w

materials. T h e Brit ish m i n i n g

i n d u s t r y ( n o t a b l y a t t h e

R o y a l School of Mines) also

relies upon the South Africans

for their wealth of technical

expertise. In the m i n i n g of

minerals, a reason that sends

many o f our students abroad

every summer for vacation

tra ining . Whi ls t one accepts

t h a t t h e s u b j u g a t i o n o f a

people based upon colour, is

both cruel and humil iat ing ,

one must realise that this is a

problem born of many years,

and not one hav ing a fast and

s t a b l e p o l i t i c a l s o l u t i o n .

F a c e d w i t h t h e p o s s i b l e

erosion of our own infrastruc

ture, I feel that B r i t a i n , as a

nation, is in no position to

turn her back on South A f r i c a

and that members of a n t i -

a p a r t h e i d s h o u l d c o n s i d e r

more carefully the possible'

implications of their actions.

T h e p o s i t i o n for " l a i s s e z -

faire" has already been stated

in a letter written to you by

M r D . Ashforth, a letter that

left M r E . M . U n g o a l a (a

p h y s i c s P C ) i n a s ta te o f

shuddering, mind-boggl ing,

utter confusion! Rea l ly , one

would expect a little more

practical common sense from

students of science at Imperia l

College.

T . Schofield

R o y a l School of M i n e s

Dear Mark

C a n s o m e b o d y f r o m

College Block please tell me

and a l l other F E L I X readers

why some staircases in South-

side are to be redecorated

over Easter. I 'm not talking

about the radiators. M y room

has a new radiator, and is to

be repainted, but must be in

be t ter c o n d i t i o n t h a n any

other College accommoda

tion. I also ask our sabbaticals

to investigate on our behalf

an d also take strong action if

necessary.

Tours

B r i a n Shindler

Dear Sir

I n a l e c t u r e I w e n t to

recently I discovered that in

C h i n a t h e r e a r e s o m e

15,000,000 people involved in

m o n i t o r i n g a n d c o n t r o l i n g

the major agricultural pests.

U s i n g rap id communicat ion

a long an efficient command

network these pests have been

s i g n i f i c a n t l y r e d u c e d i n

numbers.

In the U K agriculture is

more intensive, i f however, an

addi t ional l 3,000,000 people

were employed in pest control

it should be possible to treat

each plant by hand, squashing

insect pests a n d u p r o o t i n g

competing weeds, without the

use of potentially dangerous

pesticides fexcept perhaps for

fungi and microbial patho

g e n s ; a n d w i t h p o s i t i v e

selection lor rare or beneficial

species. Such a system would

clearly be effective lor hot

house or market garden crops,

but its application to cereals

may be more difficult, because

of the way these arc planted.

In the current economic:

cl imate there is likely to be

suitable numbers of workers

available, already being paid

by the Government. T h e use

o f t h i s , as y e t , u n t a p p e d

workforce would therefore ki l l

t w o b i r d s ( u n e m p l o y m e n t

and pol lution from pesticides)

with one stone. T h e profits

coming from increased crop

protection (and irrigation. . . i f

this is needed), and the money

saved on pesticides could be

used to increase the standard

of l iv ing of the workforce. T h e

quality of life would also be

i n c r e a s e d by c o n s i d e r a b l e

decentralisation of the popu

lation (reducing pressure on

d e c a y i n g i n n e r - c i t y areas)

and increasing the health of

the population as a result of

exerc ise a n d m o r e n a t u r a l

food in the diet.

W e are s t a r t i n g a p i l o t

scheme on our windowsi l l ,

and I suggest that this is a line

of logistic research which the

government would do well to

follow up.

lours sincerely

J o h n Ho l l i e r

Zoo 3

Dear Sir

W e were very disappointed

b y t h e i l l u s t r a t i o n i n the

bottom corner of the spring

term F E L I X ca lendar—why

wasn't it male!!! Please reme

dy this next term.

Tours expectantly or hopefully or

both,

2 sexless singles of South K e n

Small Ads

•Free holiday for volunteer driver C a m d e n A s s o c i a t i o n for Menta l Health is looking for a volunteer driver to drive their minibus from June 12-19 whilst they are on holiday in South W a l e s . In return for d r i v i n g the minibus to and from London (and whilst touring) the volunteer will receive free accommodation, food and a d m i s s i o n to any b e a u t y - s p o t s , attractions, etc.

The volunteer must be over 25 and the p o s s e s s o r of a c lean driving licence, preferably with experience of driving a minibus or similar vehicle.

Appl icat ions and further details

from John Callaghan, 485-0229 or call

at 5-6 Anglers Lane, Kentish Town,

NW5 (during office hours).

•Lost in J C R a golden circle earing.

If f o u n d p l e a s e return to Dor is

R e t s i n a , C h e m E n g 2. Of great

sentimental value. Thank-you.

•It's a donkey's cockbone! Jokes are requested for this year's Rag Mag. Please address all entries to Andrew Redondo Crawford c/o the FELIX Office.

• Handbook articles: All chairmen, etc., to their Union Office pigeonhole Deadline Friday, April 30. •Congratulations Angle. We knew

you had it in youl

• H o w many ads will there be saying

• •Disco yetl for hire-please state co

lour. Ring 373-8307.

•Steve—Who's wearino vnnr ^r-^,-,

• 12" b/w por tab le T V , £ 6 0 o n o .

Contact Ian Grainger-Allen, Physics 3.

•AR18s loudspeakers, perfect condi

tion, 4mths old, £70ono. Contact Mark

Johnson, Civ Eng letter-racks or 53

Evelyn Gdns. Tel 373-5367.

•Babysitter/dogsbody available most

evenings. Linda, int 4487.

•Bassist requires strap (also lead and

plectrum). See Mike, Physics 2.

•Gi r l needed to share a double room

for next term in 81 Lexham Gdns.

Please contact F. Judson, Zoo 3.

•Apri l 291 Next term! "On yer bike

Norm", Norman Tebbit MP on the

Employment Bill, 1:00pm, Mech Eng

220.

•Get off your assholes and see Supa

"4% Norm" Titbit talk on the bike

industry, Phy LT1, 29 April, 1:00pm.

•Volunteer Work: Postgrads needed

to help out in a home for disabled near

the College over the vacation. Contact

Mike See, Chem Eng PG.

• J e l l y and Ice C r e a m Party and

cabaret at Willis Jackson House, 65

Evelyn Gdns. Everyone welcome.

•Social Democrats why are you all

boring old PG stick-in-the-mud farts.

Love and kisses from Woy.

• T h e final match of term: "unlucky"

Physics Wanderers 1, Selkirk 4. The

lads are still sick as parrots. We will

return. PW rule FA. •Seaweed Journalists! Come out of the guppy tank and say "Hi!".

• R u requires a net set of fingernails (in 7„ with alternating lines). Contact the Rathole 233 F.K. all.

•Does anyone want to play Mummies and Daddies with me? Because I do, and I've got a Wendy Housel Love Fatson Judd(son).

•Football latest: Civ Eng 1 2 Mech/ Chem Eng 3 4. Civ Eng 1 tread PW. Any more suckers next term please. •Karen of Falmouth: You do look sexy in the morning wearing cur lers . Signed 007.

• T o all those who are Jealous of the NHS. Piss off.

•5TA-Glr i Thank you for making this term beatifull. FE.

•Having trouble with your English? Elocution lessons now available from Karl, Chem 2.

•Sarah's home cooking—Like your

mother makes—cakes, biscuits, ell

your favourite recipes for special

occasions. Contact M. Smith, BF.2.

•Angle, Linstead, can I be next?

•Angie: where was I in the rankings

then? Signed Heartbroken.

•Sorry guys. Dr Who always wins in

the end. (No doubt you needed the

scarf to keep you countless friends

warm, ha ha).

• A n g i e : I thought I was the first! Shocked.

•Dearest Angle: You no good two-timing

•Angle: You told me I was the first!

•Angie of Linstead: Me next? Bonzo.

•Angie: How about a booking for the

IC Second Xls next Thursday?

• D o you want a fuck? Are you sure?

Oh...well you'd better ring for the guy

with the big donk; say hi to Jez on 584-

7466.

•I thought I was on Pole Position

Angie.

•Angie: But I thought I was going to

be first!

•Kinda lingers Angie.

• C o k e or Tap?

•Is work catching up on you? Send any surplus to me—reports a speciality—estimates given for any other creeping required (especially history of tech and bio essays)— The Prof (Dep Rep) BE2, wimp of the week, Elec 1.

•Wanted: Heavy duty straightjacket and 2 male nurses to restrain o u r lunatic drummer Big A l between tracks. Also monkey costume for that bit extra in 'stairway' and for impressing girls at parties. Contac t the Molehole, 214 Falmouth. •For sale: Maps detailing the main g o v e r n m e n t fa l l -out she l ter and access points for use by top civil servants in the event of nuclear war. Send £2 to Anon, Box 11, FELIX Office.

FELIX, March 26, 1982

Cock and Bull Twenty- f ive members of R C S walked a total distance of 150 miles in

the U n i o n L o w e r Lounge last weekend as part of a 1,000,001-Down

darts race.

A t 6:00pm on F r i d a y , Ian T h o m a s and J e z Moss , the respective

captains of C h e m 1 and C h e m 2 teams threw the first darts in this

m a r a t h o n R a g stunt. T w o days a n d three nights later the C h e m 1 team

reached zero w i t h a double seven, fol lowed closely by the C h e m 2 team

who took 89 shots to finish from double three.

E a c h team threw between seventy a n d eighty thousand darts (the

exact figures to be revealed soon) we ighing a total of a r o u n d two tons,

at an average of roughly thirteen points per dart .

T h e players were hindered by armies of cockroaches w h i c h invaded

the L o w e r Lounge at three o'clock each m o r n i n g and by the cleaners

who, w i th only a few thousand points to go, attempted to eject

everyone on M o n d a y .

It is expected that a three figure sum has been raised for R C S R a g .

Waldegrave at IC

T h e conservative M P W i l l i a m

Waldegrave spoke at Col lege last

Tuesday on the inv i tat ion of the

Conservative Society.

M r W a l d e r g r a v e is u n d e r

s e c r e t a r y o f s t a t e f o r h i g e r

e d u c a t i o n a n d t o l d the s m a l l

c rowd how universities had been

r e c e i v i n g l a r g e r a n d l a r g e r

amounts of their money from the

U n i v e r s i t y G r a n t s C o m m i t t e e . In

the past they had received the

major i ty of their income from

other sources, but now 95% of

t h e i r m o n e y c omes f r o m the

U G C . M r Waldergrave said the

government w o u l d l ike to see this

figure reduced to about 85%.

Election Results T h e R o y a l School of M i n e s U n i o n rati f ied its executive for next year at

their U G M last Tuesday. T h e candidate for H o n o r a r y Secretary was

the only one unopposed. T h e officers are: President N i g e l W a l l s : V i c e -

President J o h n Eagleson; H o n Sec M a r k D a n i e l .

T h e elections for departmenta l representatives were also held this

week. N i n e new representatives were elected to be ratif ied at today's

U G M . There were no candidates for the post in C i v E n g a n d the C h e m

E n g election w i l l have to be r e - run because there was no-one to m a n

the bal lot -box in the afternoon. Those elected are: Chemistry G .

O ' S h e a ; C o m p u t i n g P. D o n o v a n ; Elec E n g G . Bowser (re-elected):

Geology M . Jones; L i f e Sci P. Burt ; M a t h s F . W h i t e l a w ; M e c h E n g R .

T a n g ; M e t & M a t Sci C . Southa l l ; Physics D . P a r r y . T h e elections in

Aero E n g a n d M i n e r a l Resources E n g have sti l l to be held .

Sextet Stun

Southside

Last S a t u r d a y was m a r k e d by the

f i r s t a p p e a r a n c e o f a L i f e

Sciences R e v i e w i n the Southside

R e a l A l e Bar.

T h e review, organised by M r

P h i l i p N a t h a n (the D i v i s i o n a l

Representative) , consisted of a

series of songs and sketches as

w e l l as a w a r d s f o r v a r i o u s

achievements w i t h i n the depart

ments. These consisted of foam

pies a n d succeeded in c lear ing

most of the audience back into

the ad jo in ing bar.

T h e highl ight of the evening

was u n d o u b t e d l y the p e r f o r

mance of a sextet of dancers lead

by M i s s Chr i s t ine Starch of L i f e

S c i 2. T h e y p e r f o r m e d a r e

m a r k a b l y int imate arrangement

w h i c h went down very wel l w i t h

the a u d i e n c e . T h e E d i t o r o f

F E L I X c o m m e n t e d t h a t he

w o u l d investigate this story i n

greater depth at a later date.

Another

cock-up

T h e inefficiencies of the Bookings

Office were h ighl ighted aga in

this week when Wel lsoc tr ied to

h o l d t h e i r A n n u a l G e n e r a l

M e e t i n g in the M i n e s B u i l d i n g

l a s t T u e s d a y . W e l l s o c h a d

conf irmed their booking of the

Sut ton Lec ture Theatre twice

but on the night the security

guard c la imed that he hadn ' t

been informed of the booking. It

was only after M r R . Dickens ,

the Securi ty Superintendent , was

contacted that the meet ing was

a l lowed to go ahead, but only

after a crowd of people had been

kept wai t ing .

C h a i r m a n o f W e l l s o c M r

P a l l a b Ghosh later said " I t isn't

the first time this has happened,

this sort of cock-up happens on a

regular basis. It happened to us

b e f o r e t h i s t e r m w h e n w e ' d

booked M e c h E n g 220 and had

to t u r n seventy members a w a y . "

A secretary from the Bookings

Office said the appropriate paper

work was sent to security every

week a n d if security d idn ' t read

it, it wasn't the B o o k i n g Office's

fault.

M r N i c k M o r t o n is currently

t a k i n g t h e m a t t e r u p w i t h

C a p t a i n L i n d l e y , the C o l l e g e

Domest ic Secretary.

Cult Corner At Nightline we occasionally receive calls from people who have friends

or relatives involved with cult groups. Sometimes the callers only want a

few details about the cult while other times they are trying to find

someone and release them from the cult .

Organisations which sometimes crop up in calls include the Unification

C h u r c h (Moonies), Kr ishna Consciousness , Scientology and recently

Exegesis and the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh cult. The last two have

recently been receiving some attention in the national press.

People are well informed about the Moonies and further comment is

not n e c e s s a r y . E x e g e s i s is not a r e l i g i ous c u l t but m o r e of a

p s y c h o t h e r a p y g r o u p . T h e t e c h n i q u e s u s e d are l o n g aggress ive

encounter sessions which can be quite damaging to peoples personalities

and even affect mental stability. The wallet is also damaged—at around

£150 for a training course!

The Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh cult is growing rapidly. It bears the name

of the founder, who saw the light in 1953. He spent the next thirteen

years teaching and developing his faith in India. In 1969 he started a

therapy centre in Bombay and the first non-Indians were admitted a year

later. Dur ing the seventies the cult spread to the West and now has

sixteen centres and 2,000 disciples in the U K alone.

Disciples are given a new name when they join. They have to wear

orange and red clothes (fully or partially), a picture of their master and

108 sandalwood beads. The cult also moves it disciples between centres

and countries. People who attend the newcomers evenings at the Chalk

F a r m Centre (cost 50p) are rarely aware of the power in the meditation

techniques . M o r e advanced members indulge in i n d u c e d hyster ia

s e s s i o n s as we l l as r e l a x a t i o n , d a n c i n g a n d c o n t r o l l e d b r e a t h i n g

exercises. Free sexual expression is also important in the therapy.

L ike the Moonies , people do get lost in this organisation. The therapy,

especially if insulated from outside influences, can lead to 'brainwashing'

(perhaps a function of personaly strength?). The dangers are two-fold.

First is the upheaval caused to family and friends when a disciple rejects

them or disappears. Secondly is the psychological damaged suffered by

the disciple when the group rejects them. The disciple will be totally

dependent on the group for emotional and physical support. Rejection

coupled with dumping in a strange city (or country) with no money or

possessions is a good ticket to a psychiatric hospital.

For the last decade the Indian government has been reluctant to grant

visas to Westerners visiting the cult's headquarters. Recently the cult

have spent £3m o n a lOOsq mile ranch in Oregon U S A and are building an

entire town as a cult centre. They have also set up a commune in Suffolk

complete with a school for disciples' children.

Of course, not all fringe religious cult groups are so bad. However , the

next time you drop lOp in a Moonie (etc.) collecting tin it might be worth

considering exactly what you are financing.


fv<«

S ° * * a ^ « o < * e ; t o « t v v V 0 1 % cO* > " a c ^ n v ^ t t o

i * 2

Dead Patriotic

f " H c r e is an odd item, Professor," I said, •looking up from my newspaper. "It says here

(that three of the first five presidents of United States died on the Fourth of July. I wonder

what the odds are against a coincidence like that."

"I'm not sure," replied the professor, "but I'm willing to give ten-to-one odds 1 can name one of the three who died on that date."

Assuming that the professor had no prior knowledge of the dates on which any of the presidents died, was he justified in offering such odds?

^ o ° V ^ V ° o

Preamble At the time of writing I have received fifty-four

correct solutions to last week's puzzle, but just

in case there's anyone left in College who

hasn't been able to do it, take your crumpled

piece of paper and follow these instructions:

Fold the right half of the paper onto the left

half, so that 4 lies on top of 1.

Fold the bottom half up, so that 8 goes on 4.

Tuck 8 and 4 (together) between 6 and 7.

Fold 1 and 5 onto 6.

Yes, it was quite easy; I intended it to be

easy since so many puzzles have been difficult

lately. But since it is the end of term, my

priority was to set something which would be

fun to solve; judging from your comments I

succeeded here too. Moral: if you come across

any 'fun' puzzles like this, especially if they're

not well-known, send them to me and I'll be

happy to publish them.

The deadline for last week's puzzle hadn't

been reached at the time of going to press, so

the winner will have to wait till next term.

The Easter puzzle page, as usual, has a

mixture of sworded puzzles which carry a

prize of £5 each, and unmarked puzzles which

are just for fun. Mend-a-Bike of Park Walk,

Chelsea, have generously donated the prize

money as usual, but to anyone not lucky

enough to win, they are still offering discounts

to FELIX readers.

Good luck, happy Easter, don't work too

hard

t If e"sch

n em

D

G

I'm sure you all remember trie prob/ems caused by the seven pr/soners In General f?e/sencne/'n's /'a/mouse last term. Well, it nappened aga/n-fne pr/soners were allowed out for exercise and when they returned fne /'a/Ver discovered fnaf S and F

had sw/rcned ce//s.

Wow a/fnougn it's perm/ss/to/e fo leave a pr/soner unattended in the centra/ courtyard, no one is a//owed fnrougn fne main gate, and no two prisoners must be a/towed fo see eacn ofner. Wnaf la the smallest number of moves it will take to sw/fen 6 and F bac/r fo their proper cells? Of course, af the end of the opera/Von fne otner five pr/soners musf be bac/( in their own ce//s.


CLUBS AND SOCIETIES

Bookshop News

A s you may have already noticed, we have had to increase the

deposit on all items ordered through the Bookshop to £5.00 per

item. The reason for this increase is that people have been

ordering books and then not collecting, even after numerous

cards and phone calls; and often we are left with them as they are

not returnable. So , please only order books you want. The

deposit is deducted from the overall price anyway.

Laboratory notebooks. W e now have the official notebooks, both

soft and hardback. It has taken E S A ten months to produce them

and that was an urgent order!

International Writers Day , which is organised by the English

Centre of International P . E . N . , was held at the Purcel l Room,

Queen Elizabeth Hal l on Saturday, M a r c h 13. O n c e again, IC

Bookshop ran a very successful book sale. The principal speakers

were Margaret Drabble , M a r i o Soldati , Francis K i n g , N o r m a n

Col l ins . The Silver Pen A w a r d went to D . M . Thomas for his novel

The White Hotel (Penguin £2.25). The J . R . Acker ley Prize for

1981 to Edward Blishen for his autobiography Shaky Relations

(Hamish Hamilton £8.95).

M a r c h 31 is to be a very special This is Your Life on ITV. The

autobiography of the subject is on sale in the Bookshop . (Signed

by author and subject.)

A n n a Coote will be coming to College to talk about her latest

book this Friday and copies of Sweet Freedom will be on sale in

the Bookshop .

PLEASE if any group in the College is inviting any author to talk,

tell us so we can arrange a display of their books.

A s everyone knows if you rest a piece of paper on a book and

write. The imprint goes through to the book which defaces the

book jacket. I have noticed the last few weeks, quite a large

number of people have acquired this habit. Some students, but

the majority seems to be tutor/ lecturers, so I would be most

grateful if all the guilty parties would stop doing this.

New Titles The White Hotel — D . M . Thomas , Penguin £2.25

M y Sister and Myself — ed Francis K i n g , Hutchinson £8.95

Shaky Relations — Edward Pl ishen, Hamish Hamilton £8.95

The Octopus and the Pirates — Mar io Soldati , Deutsch £2.95

The Forgotten Colony — A . G r a h a m - Y o o l l , Hutchinson £12.95

New Stories 3 — Harwood & K i n g , Hutchinson £3.25

Little Nelson — N o r m a n Col l ins , Col l ins £5.95

Middle Ground—Margaret Drabble , Penguin £1.50

Summer Bird Cage — Margaret Drabble , Penguin £1.50

The Ice Age — Margaret Drabble , Penguin £1.75

The Millstone—Margaret Drabble , Penguin £1.25

Realms of Gold—Margaret Drabble , Penguin £1.95

The Needles Eye — Margaret Drabble , Penguin £1.75

The Novel Today — M a l c o l m Bradbury , Fontana £2.50

The Craft of Novel Writing — Dianne Doubtfire. Al l ison & Busby

£2.50

The Successful Authors Handbook — G o r d o n Wells , P a p e r M a c

£3.95

Street Freedom — A n n a C o o t e & Beatrix Campbe l l , P icador

£1.95

H . G . Wells Society

Following the College's decision to axe the lunchtime Humanities

programme the H . G . Wells Society proposed to fill in the Tuesday and

Thursday lunchtime slot with our own lectures. A programme has yet to be

decided but will be in a similar vein to this year's Humanities lectures and,

in fact, will be worked out in collaboration with the Department of

Humanities.

The work entailed in running the society next year will be too much for

students on a degree course and two sabbatical posts have therefore

been created. In the light of this new information I have no alternative but

to declare Monday 's results of C h a i r m a n and External Secretary void.

Re-elections shall be held next term by College-wide ballot.

Papers will be put up in all departments and nominations for the posts

must be made by next Thursday at the latest when papers come down.

College will be funding the greater part of the project although the

Union has been asked to match the cost by 30%. Preliminary discussions

seem to indicate two main alternatives e i ther : reduce major sub

committee budgets substantially; or, abolish one of the current sabbatical

posts, probably that of Honorary Secretary.

Further information may be obtained from either myself or M a r c o

Ledwold , the current Honorary Secretary, from the Union Office.

Astrosoc

Industrial

ICIS needs a logo! If you're a

member, you'll know how boring

our membership cards are. What

we intend to do next year is have

decent ones, coloured of course,

a n d w i t h a d i s t i n c t i v e I n d s o c

e m b l e m . S o c o m e o n , a l l y o u

artists and designers, we don't

think you're prat(t)s, work out a

nice design for us (or we'll do it

ourselves!). A l l results to Alistair

K i r k , Physics 2.

Another reminder that N o r m a n

Tebbit , the Employment Minister ,

is coming to College on the first

Thursday of next term (29 April)

to talk about his controversial

E m p l o y m e n t B i l l a n d a n s w e r

questions.

I shan't do a resume of the

term's events, as last term's one

was edited completely out!

Gay

It has been decided by the N U S

G a y Liberat ion Commit tee that a

" G a y Student Al l iance" should be

f o r m e d to give s o m e n a t i o n a l

representation for G a y students.

IC have been asked to send a

delegate to the launching confer

e n c e , b u t s i n c e w e h a v e n o

Gaysoc it has landed on my desk.

Is there anyone out there, gay or

not, who would be interested in

attending? It is U n i o n policy to

"where possible support measures

a i m e d at f r e e d o m f r o m a l l

discrimination " so it's impor

tant that someone goes, and I

have no great wish to go myself. If

you would like to go drop me a

note (in confidence) at the U n i o n

Office and I'll let you have more

details. It's set for M a y 7-9.

Nick Pyne

1CU Welfare Officer

Astrosoc is proud to announce that we have been offered three,

expenses-paid scholarship by the European Space Agency at the N A S A

Space Centre in C a p e Kennedy, Flor ida. The lucky applicants will be

expected to spend their three month summer vacation under the employ

of N A S A . The work will involve spending three weeks in each of four

departments under the supervision of a well -known space-scientist. T o

gain an understanding of the workings of the Space Shuttle, while at the

same time undergoing the initial training given to prospective astronauts.

G i v e n sufficient progress, the students can expect to be flying the Space

Shuttle simulator by the end of the summer and may even be allowed a

co-pilot's seat in the Enterprise during her test-flights, from the back of a

J u m b o over the A r i z o n a desert.

This promises to be a very intensive course with little opportunity for a

social life, however it is clearly the chance of a lifetime. The aim behind

the scheme is, to quote the E S A letter " to give European science

students an insight into the workings of N A S A , with particular view to

encouraging them to join the Space Lab team, once they graduate from

university." W e would like to emphasize that the successful applicants

should expect to work hard and be able to get on well with the other

students from Germany , France and Italy who will also be on the same

scheme. Physical fitness is obviously a must. F o r further information

contact A n n Dziwior through the Physics 2 letter-racks or any Astrosoc

committee members before 12:00pm next Thursday.


Ika and Noah, the stars of the forthcoming recreation of prehistoric life "Quest for Fire".

*74ea0te O n T h e Rattle by Tom Stoppard. Adopted from Johann Nestroy and directed by Peter Wood. The Lyttelton, National Theatre.

If y o u t h i n k y o u h a v e p r o b l e m s i n

communicat ing and that people misunderstand

what you say then you ought to see T o m

Stoppard 's O n The Razzle at the National .

Y o u r problems are nothing in comparison to

Jthose of the characters in the play. L ine after

line of dialogue abounds with comic confusion

a n d m i s u n d e r s t a n d i n g , b u t t h e s e v e r b a l

tribulations are only a part of the troubles

beset by the characters.

A grocer's assistant and young apprentice,

played respectively by Ray B r o o k s and Felicity

K e n d a l , escape for a day and a night on the

two in Vienna . But they get much more than

they bargained for. The amorous adventures

of t h e i r b o s s , Z a n g l e r , a lso b r i n g h i m to

V ienna . Played hilariously by Dinsdale Landen,

Zangler is a rotund, red-faced, irrepressible

m a n , w i t h a m o d e s t p o s s e s s i o n of h a i r

r i d i c u l o u s l y o v e r - c r e a m e d . H e s u f f e r s

tragically from word mixing. T h e chaos that

hits V ienna and the fast-moving comedy that

ensues reminds one of the lunatic antics of the

M a r x Brothers .

Stoppard 's O n The Razzle is at least the

fourth reworking of J o h a n n Nestroy 's play

Einen Jux-will er sich machen (He's out for a

Fling), which Nestroy himself pinched from

someone else. (Now there's originality for

y o u ! ) . N e s t r o y was the k i n g of V i e n n e s e

c o m e d y i n t h e las t c e n t u r y a n d u s u a l l y

performed in his own plays. H e was also an

opera singer until the age of thirty. What

Nestroy added to Viennese comedy in his time

was satire. The programme notes proclaim

that " h e l o o k e d at the h u m a n r a c e , a n d

decided that the treatment it needed was

mockery . " Nestroy wrote "I believe the worst

of any human being, even of myself, and I have

s e l d o m b e e n m i s t a k e n . " H i s s ty l e w a s n ' t

political satire, but satire on human nature

itself.

The original play on which O n The Razzle is

based is a play of its day. It is full of topical

r e f e r e n c e s . It a l so p l a y s g a m e s w i t h the

Viennese dialect giving rise to a language full of

subtleties, cleverly mastered to evade the

powerful censorship that existed in that day.

Stoppard necessarily had to 'start afresh' in

o r d e r to m a k e the p lay i n t e l l i g i b l e , a n o

humorous, to modern day English audiences.

The play's comedy rests virtually entirely on

the p lay of w o r d s . C o n s e q u e n t l y it y o u r

English is not good, like the Fr en ch couple

n e x t t o m e , y o u r e m a i n p o k e r - f a c e d

throughout the whole play. It is not my type of

humour, but it was noticeable that it was the

older members of the audience who were in a

near-permanent state of laughter. (Tis a funny

thing humour.)

Nick Bedding

Mean by J.P. Sartre, was presented by Imperial College Dramatic Society.

Kean relates the tale of the Victor ian actor

of the same name who realises himself and as a

consequence, which the story attempts to

necessitate, has to leave the profession in

which he is so lucid. The concept of acting, the

whole business of plays and the theatre, is an

obvious one on which Sartre could impose his

Cartes ian melodrama. The play delights in

i l l u s t r a t i o n s of g a m e s - p l a y i n g , of in f la ted

artif iciality ass imulated as real f rom K e a n

playing Hamlet to K e a n playing at being K e a n

in London ' s rigid social life.

The presentation was formal but efficient,

with any doubts about the multiple points of

the play being lost in unnecessary stylisation

being dispelled as the main characters gained

strength. It cou ld be said that some of the

existential pivots of the story, so dear to

Sartre , were sometimes a little underplayed

while other facets, such as the gay hairdresser,

were needlessly overstated. However , much of

the rougher humour of the play and amusing

subsidiary characters served to sustain the

plays length which, at around three hours, the

c a s t c o p e d w i t h v e r y w e l l . S o m e l i v e l y

techniques, such as planted members of the

audience pelting K e a n with fruit, brought the

play off the stage and beyond strict formality

without any danger to the coherence of the

story as a whole.

The plot itself begins to flag in the final

s c e n e s w i t h S a r t r e ' s l a b o u r i n g o n c h o i c e

threatening to dissolve into sentimentality but

t h e c a s t m e t w i t h t h i s g r a c i o u s l y a n d

a l t o g e t h e r g a v e a g o o d , e n t h u s i a s t i c

performance.

It is perhaps a pity that after the people

involved had obviously put in a lot of work to

put on a generally slick performance of K e a n

that when I was there, Saturday night, the hall

was only half-full.

David Gill

Quest for Fire, 20th Century Fox, Directed by Jean-Jacques Annaud.

Quest for Fire would claim to portray the

first romance in history, but the happy event is

not reached until a great deal of sex (usually

anal) and violence has taken place.

The film is set 80,000BC when tribes have

discovered the advantages of fire but cannot

create it anew. This means they must keep a

continually burning flame and fight other tribes

when their own flame is/has extinguished.

T h e s e f i g h t s a r e e x t r e m e l y v i o l e n t , n o t

surprising as members of the same tribe can

not rea l l y c o m m u n i c a t e , never m i n d two

opposing tribes realising that they can share

the same source of fire.

It is in th i s c o n t e x t that a r e l a t i o n s h i p

developes between N a o h (Everett McGi l l ) and

Ika (Rae D a w n Chong) from a more advanced

tribe who eventually shows N a o h and his tribe

how to make fire for themselves.

The couple meet when N a o h and two of his

tribesmen set out in search of fire and the

majority of the film consists of their encounters

with other tribes, mammoths (really elephants)

and sabre-tooth tigers. Although these scenes

are exciting and occasionally funny, at times it

is hard to believe a man could walk from the

Arc t i c to East Africa within a few feet of film.

The film was made on a large budget and will

appeal more to those interested in action and

adventure than those who want a study in

interpersonal relationships. It features only

t w o ' b i g ' n a m e s ( A n t h o n y B u r g e s s w h o

i n v e n t e d the s p e c i a l l a n g u a g e u s e d a n d

D e s m o n d M o r r i s w h o c r e a t e d the b o d y

l a n g u a g e ) n e i t h e r of w h o m is u s u a l l y

associated with the film industry. T h e film is

c u r r e n t l y e n j o y i n g e n o r m o u s s u c c e s s i n

Amer i ca . Peter Rodgers

Whose Life is it Anyway? (A) John Badham, 1981. Starring Richard Drey fuss, Christine Lahti. 119 mins. Showing: ABC Fulham Road, ABC Bayswater, Classic Oxford Street.

This started as a G r an ada T V play, was then

put on by the Greenwich Fringe, transferred to

the West E n d , on to Broadway, and now "see

the f i lm".

The action has been transposed to Amer i ca ,

but I presume the original view was supposed

to s u r v i v e . It d o e s n ' t . A n y m e a n i n g f u l

illustration of ethic and all tension generated

by choice is firmly buried beneath the artificial

edifice of sacharrin sentimentality.

Originally the paralysed K e n Harr ison was a

bluff sculptor but in this version, and played by

Richard Dreyfuss, he can sketch like Renoir

and sculpt like Rodin. H e has a beautiful ballet

dancer girlfriend, who is treated as a trinket

throughout the film, and he is fawned over by

a n equ a l l y a t t r a c t i v e a n d b a u b l e - l i k e lady

doctor. F r o m the wonderfully talented surgeon

to the street-wise hospital orderly, caricatures

p r o p a g a t e i n c r e a s i n g l y p o i n t l e s s l y in th i s

wilderness. Each character in serving merely

as a t e s t i m o n y t o K e n ' s w o n d e r f u l n e s s

becomes an automated void and instead of

defining the nature and limits of the choices

open to him they create a hollowness that

swallows plot and any ensuing moral decision.

If you like films sugary, safe and anaesthe

tised, singularly devoid of any questioning of

ethic, then you may be able to stand this one. I

think it should have been aborted.

David Gill


Rag

Rag lives on! Last Saturday was the Deaf

Kiddies Party which , unlike a lot of Rag earlier

this year, was a success. There were about

twenty children who had a great time attacking

each other and those who were k ind enough to

r i sk life a n d l imb to c o m e a n d h e l p . P a t

K i n g s w e l l , o r g a n i s e r of the N a t i o n a l D e a f

Children 's Society was there and brought with

her one of the Radio-Electronic Hearing Aids

which we are buying for them at £300 a go.

M a n y t h a n k s t o a l l w h o c a m e t o h e l p ,

e s p e c i a l l y t o G a y n o r e L e w i s , w i t h o u t

whom

John Ferguson

Rag Sec

SF Soc Even though there's no time for you to buy one

this term, I'd better let you know that the soc

magazine, the almost indescribable N M E 3 has

just been published, 40p to non-members, 30p

to members, and 20p if you've got something

in it. It's even funnier than Morning C l o u d ,

folks!

W e won't have many events next term, as it

is our policy not to provide distractions just

before the exams. The policy does not extend

to not showing The Rocky Horror Picture

Show however, so we will. O u r president

c l a i m s t h a t he w i l l a t t e n d i n g o l d l a m e

swimming trunks, but only time will tell. After

this there will be the A G M where next year's

officers will be elected.

I don't think anything remains to be said

except perhaps that if there are any Larry

Niven fans out there, they might like to know

that Oath of Fealty is out in paperback. I will

now exit singing " H i H o Adr ic ' s D e a d " . Y o u r s

faithfully.

The Autarch of West Eight

There are still a few tickets remaining for the

Silwood Bal l , so contact S imon M o o r e via the

Union Office for details.

I'm s o r r y a b o u t al l the c o c k - u p s w i t h

Spanner and Bolt , but it was all the fault of M r

X , (and myself for trusting him).

The office is nice and tidy at the moment, so

let's try and keep it that way, and perhaps we

can use it for the hive of social activity that is,

even as I write, springing from the heels of next

year's executive.

F E L I X C A L E N D A R

Summer Term

Any events for possible inclusion on

the summer calendar should be sent

to the F E L I X Office as soon as

possible. Last date for entries:

Monday, April 19.

mm Rifle & Pistol

As announced last week, the i n t e r - C C U f u l l -

bore compet i t ion took place at Bisley over

900yds on Sunday . After in i t i a l problems

w i t h transport a full complement of shooters

for each team made their intrep id journey to

the barren wastes of Bisley. As usual ra in was

encountered, but the boundless enthusiasm

of Denis Sleath ( C l u b C a p t a i n , contact v ia

M e c h E n g letter-racks) insti l led fresh spirit in

team members, who found w a r m cars a n d

hot coffee more s t imulat ing . After a hesitant

start by a l l teams, R C S took an early lead

a n d by lunch were three points ahead at

G u i l d s wi th M i n e s already totally out of the

runn ing . M a r k Bourke ( R C S ) shot a 45

before lunch followed closely by G u i l d s m e n

L indsay , S m i t h and H i l t o n who a l l registered

44 apiece. After a main ly l i q u i d lunch both

teams (not Mines ) shot w i t h ski l l a n d fervour

wi th a magnificent 49 from T o n y Briers

w h i c h c l inched the trophy for R C S despite a

b r a v e 47 f r o m G a r y S m i t h for G u i l d s .

F o l l o w i n g the p r i z e p r e s e n t a t i o n ( a g a i n

l iquid ! ) the teams set off home w i t h Denis

and Steve indecently exposing themselves in

H a m m e r s m i t h due to the excitement of the

day. Pol ice are looking into the matter. F i n a l

score: G u i l d s 442; M i n e s 362; R C S 450.

Rugby Seconds T h e fo l lowing awards have been made for the

1981 2 season.

Most appearances: Ch r i s Co le ("It was

bloody straight" ) .

Most appearances in the bar: G a r y P ike

Bes t p e r f o r m a n c e i n t h e b a r : W i l l

C h a p m a n

Foreign player of the year: Jose Paxa io a n d

family.

T e a m trendy: O w e n " N u m a n " M i l e s

Best tackle injury: M a r k " j a w s " S immons

Boot of the year: Roger F l y n n

Zi t of the year: J o n " p e r v " C o t t o m

T e a m apeman: Steve K i r b y

Disease of the year: Scabies H u t t o n

Best support ing actor: M i c k y " H a y e s "

W i n s o r

j Best try: M i l e s " I can 't score" T h o m p s o n

(which one was that, I wonder?).

C h u n d e r of the season: H u g h i e R a l p h .

Tosser of the year: E d O ' C o n n o r

T e a m menty: J o h n W e i r

F a l l i n g over / co l laps ing : C a p t a i n Steve

T h a n k s are also due to Shitface C h a r l i e

H e n d e r s o n / M a r k Jackson , N i c k " m o a n e r "

B r u m m e l l for getting a bog cha in in the eye.

A n d y N e c k h a l l (anag) for getting engaged

a n d finally to T i m C a r r for always being last.

Football Sevenths T h e team scored fourteen goals in the last two

matches yet only managed to win three points.

Promot ion is still possible.

Scorers: J . Nor l ey (3), T . D o n o v a n (3), P.

W i l d e (2), M . Lenczner (2), C . L o p i z (1), A .

M i l n e r (1), P. Rodgers (1), S. Else (1).

Squash T h i s week sees the end of a h ighly enjoyable

a n d c o m p e t i t i v e s e a s o n . T h e c l u b h a s

strength in depth w i t h a membership of 95,

most of w h o m have used the internal ladder .

Facts and figures are summarised below.

A u t u m n T e r m

W D L F A

lsts (D iv 1) 2 1 6 1 8 V 2 2 6 7 2

2nds 5 1 2 24 2 1 ' / ,

3rds (Div 4) 8 1 0 4 0 V 2 4 7 2

4ths (Div 5) 3 2 4 19 26

Spring T e r m (to date)

W D L F A

lsts 3 0 3 15 15

2nds 3 0 5 16 24

3rds (Div 3) 6 0 2 28 12

4ths 4 1 3 2 3 7 2 1 6 7 2

Enquir ies from U L U are ant ic ipated fo l

l owing the 3rd team 5-0 " v i c t o r y " over the

2nd team. T h e ladies team played we l l in

their first year of existence. M o n d a y ' s A G M

elected the fo l lowing as officers for 1982 /3 :

C a p t a i n : D . M o l e s w o r t h , H o n S e c : J .

W i t t r i c k , Treasurer : N . W a l k e r .

Th an ks to the fol lowing:

Firsts: /.. Daneshmend, Rupert Wilkinson, C.

Hufflelt, M. Dickens.

Seconds: R. Clarke, P. Robinson, J. Pelton,.P.

Fishwick, Fi. Gladstone.

Thirds : R. Jeffenes, I. Spinks, D. Molesworth,

J. Wittrick, R. Daud.

Fourths: S. Roberts, M. Budd, M. Newberry,

M. McClure, .V. Walker, K. Singarajah.

Careers Advisory Service

Summer Term Job Vacancy Scheme

In view of the difficult employment situation

facing graduates this year it has been decided

to offer a new service for College leavers this

summer. This service is in two parts as follows.

1. Notification of Vacancies

Immediately after Easter the Careers Advisory

Service will be in touch with employers to seek

notification of job vacancies as yet unfilled or

new vacancies which have arisen. The results

of this exercise will be available to students

during the summer term.

2. Register of Students Available for

Employment

F r o m the beginning of the summer term a new

scheme wil l be in t roduced through w h i c h

students seeking employment can register a

Standard Application F o r m with the Careers

Advisory Service. Precise details of how the

scheme will operate have yet to be finished but

either employers may be notified of students

s e e k i n g e m p l o y m e n t in spec i f i c a reas o r

students notified of vacancies which match

their requirements.

Details of the scheme will be available next

term.


RIP DP The premature departure of I C U Deputy

President Barney McCabe was not a complete

surprise and it has aroused mixed reactions in

most people, not least myself, Nick and

Marco.

Putting aside any personal feelings about

Barney, we must look at the reasons for his

resignation. The fact is that as Deputy

President he was responsible for the games

machines in the Union Lower Lounge and

should therefore have known that they were

losing money. It was wrong that he did not

discover this earlier and take appropriate

action to ensure a reasonable profit at the end

of the year. As a consequence of his error the

Union will suffer not only a loss of money but a

shortfall of income which will (in the long run)

affect many clubs and societies.

For these reasons it was right that Council

passed a motion of no-confidence. The fact

that Barney chose to resign at this point rather

than await a U G M decision was purely his

choice. It is by no means certain that he would

have been kicked out by a U G M , so I must

give him credit for resigning on principle rather

than risking further humiliation just to hang on

to his job.

It is also sad to see someone who is widely

liked having to resign. But overall it was the best

thing to do.

Scaramouche There were a couple of omissions in this

"week's preamble.

Last week's winner is Linda Burry of Maths

2 who can collect her cheque on the first

Tuesday of next term.

The closing date for entries to the Easter

puzzles page is 1:00pm, Wednesday, April 28.

Photo Competition The winner of last week's competition is

Andrew Barron of Chemistry who can collect

his haircut voucher from the office. The still

was of Jamie Lee Curtis, daughter of Tony

Curtis, in Halloween. Nobody managed to get

the director though: John Carpenter.

Things yet to come!

Another term has raced by and we have

reached the time of year when everybody

seems to think they can do nothing else but

work for exams.

FELIX will continue as ever next term,

although it may dwindle in size as the amount

of help slackens off. However, I hope you're

not all too busy with exams and will keep

sending in letters, articles and adverts.

There are several things planned for next

term, including a look at the fermentation pilot

plant which hit the news last week and some

profiles of College personalities. If you have

any ideas, it's still not too late to pop your

suggestions in to me at the office.

Calendar

Any dates for possible inclusion on next term's

calendar should reach me by Monday, April 19

at the latest.

Credits After many hard weeks of work I would like to

thank the following people for their help

throughout this and other issues this term.

News: Peter Rodgers (editor), Pallab

Ghosh, Tim Lord, Alistair Kirk, Chris Webb,

Steve Marshall.

Sport: Lesley Horrocks (editor), Mary

Harrington, F. Bogey-Rolla et al.

Reviews: Nick Bedding, Nick Willson, David

Gill, Steve Marshall, Pallab Ghosh, Shezi

Abedi, Andy Best.

. Photographs: Ramzi Shammas, Jane

Williams, Nick Thexton, Martin S. Taylor,

Andy Best.

Puzzles: Scaramouche.

Paste-Up and General: Soheel , Peter

Rodgers, Martin S. Taylor, David Rowe,

Simon Rodan, Steve Marshall, Dave Jago,

Steve Tyson, Caroline Godin.

Collators: Steve Goulder, Jez, Mo, Dave

Jago, Nick Willson, Martin S. Taylor, Izy,

Pallab Ghosh, Peter Rodgers, David Rowe and

all the others who are (just about) too

numerous to mention.

And of course Maz and Ian.

What's On

Friday, March 26 •Anna Coote, Deputy Editor of New Statesman,

speaks about Feminism. Organised by IC Labour Club.

All welcome. 1:00pm, Union Upper Lounge.

Thursday, April 1 •Demonst ra t ion followed by rally, 12:00 noon ,

Speaker's Corner , Hyde Park. The demonstration will

p rotest against impor ted C u b a n Jaffa cakes Bi l ly

Bremner (ex-Captain, Leeds United) will address the

rally.

Thursday, April 29 • C o n s e r v a t i v e and Industrial Society present

Norman Tebbit M P , Employment Secretary talking on

the Employment Bill , 1:00pm, Mech Eng 220.

Hughes Parry Hall

C o n t r a ry to popular belief, not all the

intercollegiate halls of residence close to

students over the vacations. Hughes Parry |

Hall, for example, not only takes students at

Christmas and Easter, but is open throughout

the summer vacation.. The hall is mixed with

seven floors of women and seven of men

students Fees include all meals except

weekday lunches. There are squash and tennis

courts and parking for eighteen cars. Over the

summer preference is given to MSc students

and undergraduates who wish to spend the

whole of the vacation in hall. Shorter stays can

be arranged and are best booked well in

advance Study bedrooms are relatively large

and well furnished. The hall is situated within

walking distance of Russell Square, King's

Cross and Euston underground stations and

takes 25 to 30 minutes from College. For

further information and application form write

to the Warden, Hughes Parry Hall, Cartwright

Gardens, W C I H 9 E F , or contact the hall

pres ident , G r d h t i m C o p l e y , C h e m i c a l

Engineering 2.

Fidel Castro A legend in his own lunchtime

by W. Nillson

One of the more active and apparently well-

funded dictatorships in the world is Cuba.

Cuba, home of the Havana cigar, the Fidel

Castro, and Jaffa cakes. Penguins used to be

good value, despite a mouthful of feathers.

But, ever since it became uneconomical for the

eskimo to manufacture them, Castro's Jaffa

cakes have become Britain's number one

imported biscuit, threatening the genuine

article.

The Ulterior Motive Quite simply, old Fungus Chops is out to

undermine British industry by undercutting its

prices. Moreover, by flooding the market with

cheap imitations, Castro is hoping to curry

favour with, if not carry flavour to, the British

public. He is undoubtedly applying Lenny

Brezhnev's dictum "No opportunity must be

lost in the struggle to overthrow the lackeys of

capitalism, to establish the dictatorship of the

proletariat and to buy me another Western

sports car" (Lenny always was shit-hot on

paradox.)

The Manufacturing Process To appreciate the nature of this sinister threat

to our biscuits, one need only run to ground

Castro Cakes' distributor in Britian. I caught

him furtively fixing a thermostat to a tub of bile

secretion (sic). Only when his voice murmured

that these were the mixing ingredients being

kept at a steady temperature did 1 realise the

unpalatable t ruth : C a s t r o ' s cakes are

processed from shit. So watch out! (Sick.)

Detecting the Pseud Increasingly, it's difficult to distinguish Castro

cakes from Jaffa cakes. For one thing, Fidel no

longer includes that tell-tale "hero of the Soviet

Union" medal in each pack. However, if the

cakes cause severe stomach pains, followed by

nausea, diarrhoea and acute depression;

you've definitely eaten the McVitie's variety.

What You Can Do Write to your MP (IC Union has printed letters

calling on Parliament to ban Cuban cakes, and

will pay the postage.)*

Better still, join the demonstration we've

organised. Marchers from across the nation,

united under the banner 'Pseudosnacks Out"

will be assembling at noon next Thursday at

S p e a k e r ' s C o r n e r in H y d e P a r k . T h e

proceecings will climax in a rally at 3:00pm in

Trafalgar Square. Mr Michael Foot (Leader of

the Opposition) and M r Dennis Howell

(Minister for Droughts, Snow, and Orange-

Centred Biscuits) will not be there. But, B i l y

Bremner, former Captain of Leeds Utd, will

address the meeting through an interpreter.

T h i s is not entirely accurate.

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince

Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (589-5111 ext 1048 int 2881) Copy right FELIX 1982. Editor: M A Smith, Advertising Manager: S M Giblin.

exec wews

Q N O W !

E M E R G E N C Y

UGM March 25th

1:00pm Great Hall

P R E S I D E N T ' S REPORT

S i c k B a y .

T h e h e a l t h s e r v i c e i s u n d e r c o n s i d e r a b l e p r e s s u r e t o r e d u c e

c o s t s ( l i k e t h e w h o l e C o l l e g e ) a n d t h e a r e a m o s t t h r e a t e n e d

i s t h e s i c k b a y . T h e p r o p o s a l i s t o c h a r g e f i r s t y e a r

r e s i d e n t s a c o m p u l s o r y i n s u r a n c e p r e m i u m ( a b o u t £10) o n

t h e i r f i r s t h a l l b i l l . T h i s w i l l e n t i t l e i n d i v i d u a l s t o

f r e e s i c k b a y t r e a t m e n t f o r 3 y e a r s . F i r s t y e a r s n o t i n

h a l l w i l l be a b l e t o j o i n v o l u n t a r i l y . A s y s t e m w i l l b e

w o r k e d o u t f o r s e c o n d a n d t h i r d y e a r s . I w a s i n i t i a l l y

a g a i n s t a c o m p u l s o r y i n s u r a n c e b u t h a v e c h a n g e d my m i n d

s i n c e i t i s t h a t o r n o s i c k b a y . I p r o p o s e we a c c e p t t h e

i d e a i n p r i n c i p l e .

R e s i d e n c e •

The i d e a o f p a y i n g r e n t o v e r t h e v a c a t i o n a s d i s c u s s e d a t

t h e l a s t UGM h a s b e e n s h e l v e d .

I w i l l p r e s e n t v e r b a l l y t h e o u t c o m e o f d i s c u s s i o n s a t

S t u d e n t R e s i d e n c e C o m m i t t e e o n d o m e s t i c s e r v i c e s i n t h e

h a l l s .

R e d u n d a n c i e s .

T h e R e c t o r p r e s e n t e d a p l a n a t l a s t w e e k ' s G o v e r n i n g B o d y

f o r r e d u n d a n c i e s , a g a i n e m p h a s i z i n g t h a t t h e y may n o t b e

n e c e s s a r y i n t h e n e a r f u t u r e . T h e C o l l e g e b r a n c h o f t h e

AUT h a v e i d e a s f o r r a i s i n g o r s a v i n g money t o p r e v e n t

r e d u n d a n c i e s . Some o f t h e s e i d e a s d i r e c t l y a f f e c t s t u d e n t s

s o I s e n t my c o m m e n t s i n w r i t i n g t o G o v e r n i n g B o d y . I w a s

n o t p r e s e n t a t t h e m e e t i n g s o p e r h a p s B a r n e y c a n r e p o r t o n

t h e o u t c o m e .

C h a n c e l l o r ' s G l a s s .

I a t t e n d e d a r e c e p t i o n f o r t h e C h a n c e l l o r , HRH P r i n c e s s

A n n e , a t U L U a n d c l e v e r l y o b t a i n e d t h e v e r y g l a s s f r o m

w h i c h s h e w a s d r i n k i n g , ( C o k e ! ) . 1 h o p e t h e R a g C h a i r m a n

w i l l b e a b l e t o r a f f l e t h i s m a g n i f i c e n t t r o p h y a t t h i s

m e e t i n g .

C h a n c e l l o r ' s B e h a v i o u r .

T a l k i n g o f HRH I s t i l l h a v e n o t s a t i s f a c t o r i l y r e s o l v e d

t h e b u f f a l o / t i g e r a f f a i r b u t i t i s i n h a n d .

O p e n D o o r .

F i n a l p l u g ; S a t u r d a y A p r i l 1 7 t h , 6 . 3 0 p m , BBC 2 . W a t c h i t :

HONORARY S E C R E T A R Y ' S REPORT

C o l o u r s .

N o m i n a t i o n s a r e t r i c k l i n g i n . I f y o u w i s h t o n o m i n a t e

s o m e o n e f o r S o c i a l C o l o u r s t h e n y o u m u s t w r i t e a h a l f /

t h r e e q u a r t e r A4 p a g e j u s t i f i c a t i o n w h i c h I m u s t r e c e i v e

b e f o r e t h e f i r s t F r i d a y o f n e x t t e r m .

E l e c t i o n s .

P a p e r s w e n t u p o n 2 3 / 3 / 8 2 i n t h e U n i o n L o w e r L o u n g e f o r t h e

f o l l o w i n g p o s t s : -

4 O r d i n a r y M e m b e r s o f P e r m a n e n t W o r k i n g P a r t y

H a l d a n e L i b r a r y R e c o r d B u y e r

H a l d a n e L i b r a r y B o o k B u y e r

S e c r e t a r y t o t h e E x t e r n a l A f f a i r s C o m m i t t e e

F o u r d e l e g a t e s t o U L U G e n e r a l U n i o n C o u n c i l

F e l i x B u s i n e s s M a n a g e r

3 O r d i n a r y M e m b e r s o f H o u s e C o m m i t t e e

P u b l i c i t y O f f i c e r

P a p e r s come down o n t h e f i r s t T h u r s d a y o f n e x t t e r m

2 9 / 4 / 8 2 a n d t h e e l e c t i o n s w i l l b e h e l d a t t h e UGM o n 4 / 5 / 8 2 .

RETURNING OFF ICER'S REPORT

The f o l l o w i n g people have been e l e c t e d t o the

f o l l o w i n g p o s i t i o n s unopposed s u b j e c t to r a t i f i c a t i o n :

Union General Meeting Chairman

N.S.Pyne proposed by M a r t i n T a y l o r

Jon S t a n l e y proposed by S.Methley

Jonathan M . M i l l e r p r o p o s e d by J.S.Sharman

B Y - L A W CHANGE

P r o p o s e d b y : C h r i s Webb

S e c o n d e d b y : A n d y R u s h t o n .

U n d e r 4 b .

D e l e t e : D e p a r t m e n t o f M a n a g e m e n t S c i e n c e .

I n s e r t : D e p a r t m e n t o f M a n a g e m e n t S c i e n c e a n d o f S o c i a l

a n d E c o n o m i c S t u d i e s .

* * * * * * *

B Y - L A W CHANGE

P r o p o s e d b y : C h r i s Webb

S e c o n d e d b y : N i c k M o r t o n .

U n d e r 4 a .

D e l e t e : " T h e U L U R e p r e s e n t a t i v e " .

* * * * * * *

MOT 10 N ON SOUTH AFRICA Proposed by A n t i A p a r t h e i d G r o u p

Seconded by L i b e r a l Club

Labour Club

S o c i a l i s t S o c i e t y

ICU Notes:

1. The South A f r i c a n system of government i s r a c i s t ,

r e p r e s s i v e , and in d i r e c t c o n t r a v e n t i o n of the U n i t e d

d e c l a r a t i o n on Human R i g h t s .

2. The South A f r i c a n f o r c e s are i n i l l e g a l o c c u p a t i o n o f

Namibia and p e r p e t u a l l y make a t t a c k s a g a i n s t

neighbouring c o u n t r i e s such as Angola.

3. B r i t i s h N u c l e a r F u e l s L t d . has a c o n t r a c t t o r e c e i v e

uranium between 1 9 7 7 - 8 4 from the Rossing mine i n

Namibia, and the B r i t i s h - b a s e d t r a n s n a t i o n a l Rio T i n t o

Zin« has the l a r g e s t e q u i t y h o l d i n g i n Rossi n g . T h i s

i s a l l i n c o n t r a v e n t i o n of the UN p o l i c y on Namibia.

Community A c t i o n Group Chairman

Rag Chairman

W e l f a r e O f f i c e r

Univ. of London R e p r e s e n t a t i v e

Ken Young

John Ferguson

Jonathan B a r n e t t

M.A.Williams

5 . 1982 i s the UN I n t e r n a t i o n a l Year f o r the M o b i l i s a t i o n

of S a n c t i o n s a g a i n s t South A f r i c a .

ICU B e l i e v e s :

1. A p a r t h e i d i s wrong and every e f f o r t s h o u l d be taken t o

end support of the regime.

2. The c o l l e g e C a r e e r s A d v i s o r y S e r v i c e i s wrong i n

i n v i t i n g companies to the c o l l e g e to r e c r u i t s t u d e n t s

to work i n South A f r i c a , permanently or d u r i n g a

v a c a t i o n , and should be dis c o u r a g e d .

ICU I n s t r u e t s :

1. The Union and E x e c u t i v e to take a c t i o n t o prevent the

c o l l e g e ' s C a r e e r s A d v i s o r y S e r v i c e from i n v i t i n g

companies i n v o l v e d i n r e c r u i t i n g s t u d e n t s to work i n

South A f r i c a and f o r the E x e c u t i v e to re p o r t back t o

the next UGM.

2. The Union and E x e c u t i v e to support the UN I n t e r n a t i o n a l

Year f o r the M o b i l i s a t i o n of S a n c t i o n s a g a i n s t S o u t h

A f r i c a , by p u b l i c i s i n g i t and a t t e n d i n g the N a t i o n a l

March on Sunday, 14th March. 1982.

Hu s t i n g s and e l e c t i o n s f o r the f o l l o w i n g p o s t s

w i l l be h e l d at the meeting:

E n t e r t a i n m e n t s O f f i c e r

A .N.Owens

W.J.Waterson

proposed by

proposed by

Academic A f f a i r s O f f i c e r

J.S.Boucher proposed by

P h i l i p B.Nathan proposed by

E x t e r n a l A f f a i r s O f f i c e r

A.J.Benham

S.A.Rodan

proposed by

proposed by

Jon S t e e l

Ronan McDonald

J . P . S t a n l e y

Tom Owen

R.G.Holding

C h r i s Webb

AMENDED MOTION ON SOUTH A F R I C A

D e l e t e I C U I n s t r u c t s 2 . a n d i n s e r t 3 : -

" T h e U n i o n a n d E x e c u t i v e t o s u p p o r t t h e UN I n t e r n a t i o n a l

Y e a r f o r t h e M o b i l i s a t i o n o f S a n c t i o n s A g a i n s t S o u t h

A f r i c a " .

a n d i n s e r t 2 : -

T h e U n i o n t o p r o v i d e a l t e r n a t i v e c a r e e r s i n f o r m a t i o n t o a l l

U n i o n m e m b e r s who a r e b e i n g i n t e r v i e w e d b y c o m p a n i e s t h a t

a r e r e c r u i t i n g f o r S o u t h A f r i c a a n d N a m i b i a .

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