How to Succeed as a Freeloader

Zierra Treshock

Freeloading: The Definition

The term "Freeloader" in everyday speech refers to the economic free problem, and taking advantage of public or private services without due compensation.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freeloader

Way Number One: Take as much money as you need.

Being a freeloader has a lot of advantages. You get things and don’t have to do anything for them. Getting used to free things is how you should act. When someone offers you money, take it. When someone asks you if you need money say ‘yes’ even if you have money. A little lying to get what you need never hurt anyone.

Way Number Two: Always ask for free things

If you get the chance to ask for nice things, do it. It never hurts to ask. Who knows? You could end up with a brand new iPod.

Way Number Three: Keep your money saved up

When you get money, always save it for later. Being a freeloader also gives the person you are feeding off of the chance to kick you out at any second, which in that case, you need a backup!

Number Four: Be a suck-upEvery time you need something, make

sure to suck up to the person you need it from. It works 99.9% of the time! Everybody loves a suck-up especially your parents.

Number Five: Use the “puppy eyes”

Six!: Use other people’s money

Why use your own, when the money just keeps rolling in from elsewhere?

Don’t be afraid to ask for money especially if you’re freeloading off of a family member or close friend!

Way Number Seven: Get a Car

If you have a car, you’re pretty much set. You can leave whenever you want, do whatever you want and come back home when you please.

Number Eight: Eat all of the food in the House.

Nine: Make sure you have a “sob story”

A little lying never hurt anyone. Create an absolutely ridiculous story on how your puppy ran away or how your cat got stuck in a tree. It doesn’t matter how unbelievable it is, it will help.

Way Number Ten: Refer to Melissa Wiley for help.

Contact a professional freeloader such as Melissa Wiley to help you with free loading tips. She will give you great advice along the journey of success.

Number Eleven: Fake an Injury

People who have kind hearts will give you a place to stay. A broken leg will definitely get you into the house. A broken arm or a sprained ankle will keep you there. The only problem with this is, you must keep “breaking things” which may make them think you are clumsy.

Number Twelve: Dress up as a Celebrity

Everyone wants a celebrity in their house. Why not put some make up on your face, perhaps wear a mask if make up isn’t your style. Buy some clothes that fit the celebrity you’ve decided on and you’re set.

Number Thirteen: Perform a “concert” for your people.

Entertainment is a good way to keep people wanting you in their house. A musical or a concert every now and again will keep them happy.

Number Fourteen: Say it’s your birthday

No one’s going to leave you out on the street if it’s your birthday. That’s just rude.

Fifteen: You’ll “pay” them back