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 AND SMALL EMOTIONS (RELEASE)

This is a beautiful technique that’s as

effective as it is simple. That’s because

it’s very natural. We knew it as children

but have forgotten how to use it.

It works right away with emotions, but

once you have some practice with it, you

can use if just as well for thoughts and

beliefs, and for releasing emotional

baggage around desires.

It helps to understand the structure of 

emotions. If we were fully functioning organisms, a feeling would simply be a transient

message about something going on right now, and we would feel it as a quick ripple. That’s

a feeling. An emotion, however, is a pattern, and it is remembered and it accumulates

energy, leaving a deeper groove each time it is experienced, and it may or may not be

about something happening right now. Emotions can come up as a response to

circumstances, but more often, they come up as a response to thoughts. An emotion is an

energized thought, and it always starts as sensations in the body. This is obvious withstrong emotions like anger or anxiety. Anger starts off with muscular contraction, an

increase in adrenaline, temperature, heartbeat and blood pressure, and a hotness in the

face. Anxiety may start as sensations in the belly. Even the smallest of emotions starts as a

sensation, though we may not be sensitive to the sensations. The sensations start up, and

they trigger an associated thought-story. With negative emotions, the associated thought-

story is usually in voice of the inner critic. The thoughts and sensations then get into a

feedback loop, energizing each other, and the emotion gathers up a storm.

You will notice that with negative emotions, the first thing we do is contract. We mentally

resist and physically contract our bodies, in anticipation how bad it’s going to feel.

You may also notice the paradox of negative emotions. Emotions promise to hold off the

very thing they give us. Fear says I am trying to keep you safe.  Anxiety says I am trying to

give you the security you need. Anger says you are not liking what is happening. Hurt says

you will feel bad if you don’t pay attention to me.

In Asia, they use this clever trick to catch monkeys. There is a circular shackle or a hole

through which the monkey puts her hand to grab a banana on the other side. The hole is

 just big enough to let in an open hand, but not big enough to let out a fisted hand. The

monkey cannot get her hand out if she holds on to the banana. This is exactly what we do

with emotions. We grasp them. All we have to do is open our hands to release.

Here’s a quick experiment to show how this technique works. Make a fist and squeeze it

hard as if you’re holding on to something, and keep squeezing. What does that feel like—a

little uncomfortable? Perhaps it feels a little strange, but if you keep squeezing the

’

W EL C O M E!

How do we free ourselves from the past, from

depression and anxiety, from the unease of 

being which most of us experience?

The joy of being is in the clarity of our own

awareness, right here and right now.

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. .

same way are uncomfortable and automatic. And releasing emotions is as easy as opening

your hand.

The technique is adapted from the Sedona method’s basic technique. It is a series of 

questions, which we answer very quickly. The questions in themselves are not important

nor are the answers. The questions help us stop, look, and be aware of what’s going on,

and they help us re-learn what we have always known: that it is easy and instant to release

any emotion. Ask and answer these questions quickly. No matter what the answer is, move

on to the next question. Soon they will become non-verbal. With practice the questions

disappear and releasing becomes automatic.

When you experience an emotion, big or small:

Can I make a lot of space for this emotion?

 Am I able to let it go?

Let it go

It’s easy to remember as space/can I/let go.

What are you feeling right now? You don’t have to label it, and it doesn’t have to be a big

emotion.

Can you allow the emotion? See if you can allow the emotion without resistance. Make a

lot of space for the emotion in the body. Don’t contract. Don’t resist. Welcome the

emotion, allow it, and love it. Then, make even more space for it. If you don’t think you can

welcome the emotion, it’s perfectly fine. Move on quickly no matter what happens.

 Are you able to let the emotion go? You don’t have to let it go, the question is: are you

able to? It’s okay if the answer is no. Just continue.

 Are you willing to let it go? Move on, no matter what you answer.

Let it go now. It helps to sigh, or exhale long and easy while letting go.

Instead of questions, you can make them into statements, something similar to:

I am making space for this emotion.

I can let this emotion go.

I am letting it go Now.

With practice the technique becomes non-verbal and natural and technique-less. You will

notice a sensation in the body, make space for it by not contracting, and release it.

The mind will immediately question whether this will work. “It’s too simple.” “If I knew how to

let go of emotions, I would have done it already.” “How can this work?” “What is the

mechanism?” “I can’t use this until I understand more.”

The answer is just to try it a few times. If you feel you are not able to let go of the emotion,

don’t worry about it. Try it anyway. Keep trying. My experience first was with the Sedona

method of releasing. I tried it with anxiety, several times a day for about two or three

weeks. I didn’t think it was really working, and one day I realized I had not felt anxiety for 

several days. With practice the technique became instant and non-verbal.

Why does this work? Well, first, it is very natural. Second, we are bringing emotions back

to their true function of feeling-message by interrupting the association with thought-

stories. Also, we naturally develop equanimity with this method. After all, what we are

experiencing is just a body sensation. And finally, we are breaking the false identification

with the whole pattern of body sensation and thought-story.

If you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy:

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came...

2. Cleansing with the Breath: A simple Release method  For a person of unsoddened mind,

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BY KAUSHIKON MARCH 18, 2009

FILED UNDER ANXIETY, HOW TO AWAKEN, KEY ARTICLES, MEDITATION, RELEASE·

TAGGED WITH ANGER, DEPRESSION, EFFORTLESS MEDITATION, EMOTION, FEAR, HOW TO AWAKEN,

RECOVERY, RELEASE, SADNESS

B O O K S !

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« HOW TO BEAWARENESS NOW (AWARENESS) OVER ON…»

30 brilliant responses to “How to Release Big and Small Emotions (Release)”

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Ken says:

March 20, 2009 at 2:41 AM

 just gets better and better kaush!!! keep it up

Reply

Kaushik says:

March 20, 2009 at 8:28 AM

Thanks, Ken!!

Reply

Cindy Albaugh says:

March 29, 2009 at 1:05 PM

I find if I add action to thought its more efective.Literaly open up your front

door and kick the negative out . Then Say you are not to return.

Reply

Kaushik says:

March 29, 2009 at 1:28 PM

Hi Cindy,

That sounds like an effective technique. It’s all about fully experiencing the thought

and emotion and then releasing it.

Reply

Platypus says:

March 31, 2009 at 10:41 PM

The emotion I thought of was sadness. My stray kitty looks at me and cries

through the glass doors leading to the lanai. I can’t let her in because she has

leukemia and she can’t infect my other kitties.

I really tried to let the emotion go – I know I’m doing the best I can for her – but I kept

thinking it wasn’t right to let it go, and that I should feel FOR HER. Like it’s not fair to let

the emotion go because it dismisses what she is feeling…

Reply

Kaushik says:

March 31, 2009 at 11:52 PM

The kitty is lucky to have you as a mother. Grief is wholly natural. You can

release the pain of it, and when you do, what’s left is love.

Reply

Patti says:

March 31, 2009 at 10:42 PM

By the way, I totally feel like a celebrity! Thanks for the picture I love you!!

<3

Reply

Kaushik says:

March 31, 2009 at 11:51 PM

It’s the effervescence! You don’t look much different now twent ears

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hence….

Reply

Sarah says:

 April 26, 2009 at 6:35 PM

Please write in my blog! Just posted two topics on healing~~ Thank you for 

this wonderful blog! I believe that releasing emotions is very necessary as well as

powerful! Namaste, Coach Sarah http://www.raincoaching.com/blog

Reply

Trisha says:

 April 28, 2009 at 8:28 PM

You’re right…when you let go of grief, love is all that’s left. So this begs the

question…are we letting go of ALL emotion? Or just the uncomfortable ones??

Reply

Kaushik says:

 April 28, 2009 at 8:50 PM

My experience is that feelings never go away. Feelings which are body

sensations–messages from the mind-body–intuition if you want to call it that. They

are transient–short-lived ripples in the body. They turn into ‘emotions’ when the

mind takes these feelings and associates them with thought-stories and the past. A

feedback pattern is created, so that the mind-story energizes the sensation and

sensations energize the mind-story. The whole pattern is remembered so it is

stronger with each iteration.

I believe when we let go emotions, we are bringing emotions back to their true

function of feeling-message, so that they don’t leave traces.

Love is not an emotion. It’s simply our natural state. When all fear is gone, there is

 just love.

Your experience may be very different. The point is here is that with this technique,it’s been easy and quick to release anxiety and fear. It’s so very simple, that the

mind initially will say this can’t possibly work. But it does!

Reply

prasad says:

May 5, 2009 at 5:35 AM

Hi,

This is very simple even as compared to sedona method. It really works. The beauty of 

it is simple and uncomplicated.I think if it is consistently applied to deeper emptions ,

this give a effective release.

Prasad

Reply

Kaushik says:

May 5, 2009 at 8:56 AM

Thanks, Prasad. Yes, it’s simpler than the Sedona method, and this takes

about five seconds to do. For me, it was the end of anxiety forever! Have you tried

it?

Reply

Lac Erta says:

May 21, 2009 at 3:08 PM

But how do you deal with the life situation the thought of which originally had

given you the anxiety. Now, when the anxiety’s gone, the life’s situation is still remaining

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to be dealt with.

What I found is that in some cases an anxiety helps me to deal with a life’s situation.

For instance, I have to look for a job but I don’t want to and instead I spend my time by

enjoying being awakened to a much better extent than it used to be when I was going

to job every day. But from time to time I am getting anxiety attacks related to the fear of 

future that force me to start acting in a way such as sending resumes, making

enquiries, etc. The whole process is so unpleasing and the whole perspective of 

slaving yourself at a job that you hate is so depressing , too, that the only state in

which I can force myself to function is the state of anxiety.

It looks like an anxiety is an important part of the existence. At least, as a safety valveto protect us from laziness.

Reply

Kaushik says:

May 21, 2009 at 3:40 PM

Hi Lac,

What a wonderful question! You’ve given me an idea for an article. I’ll try to address

it here as well.

You point out the classic workings of dualism. The mind is dualistic and thinks only

in opposites. The mind says, with anxiety I am motivated, so without anxiety I will be

completely unproductive!

It hasn’t worked that way in my experience. I have no anxiety at all–no past, no

future. I am far more productive than I ever was. There is no worry, no doubt–just

intention and action. I don’t know if this can be understood intellectually. It has to be

experienced.

I call these fears the second obstacle. It is the ego’s fear of awakening, and it shows

up in various ways:

-I will be lazy if I awaken

-I will lose all interest in worldly things

-I will become emotion-less

-How can I possibly get by without thoughts?

-How can I really know happiness if there is no pain in my life?

-What’s the point of living without pain (this is a strange one, but we all have this in

us–this peculiar attraction we have to suffering).

It can also show up as a “spiritualized” ego, where the goal is not awakening, but

the intellectual or spiritual study of awakening. It can show up as intellectualizing a

process that the intellect cannot possibly understand.

Perhaps you or other readers can add to this list.

Can we simply allow these fears, fully experience them, and let them go?

-

Reply

Lac Erta says:

May 21, 2009 at 4:04 PM

I think I have to clarify my comment. When I am present, I realize how

pointless it is for me to look for a job in an industry where I have worked for 20 years

but at which being present and successful are mutually exclusive states. At the moment

of such realization I don’t feel any anxiety or fear; it rather feels good, you are present,

you see things for what they are. And you are happy. You don’t feel guilty. You are

enjoying of being awakened. It is a wonderful feeling, a bliss.

 And the life goes on, and you have to pay the bills. And you have to start acting,

otherwise…

What I found, the only real stick that can make me moving is the fear of future that

manifests itself as an anxiety. Otherwise I will not be acting. But then, the whole resultacting is becoming spoiled because I acted out of anxiety.

What a vicious circle!

Reply

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Kaushik says:

May 21, 2009 at 9:42 PM

Hi Lac,

I understand. I don’t have an answer that satisfies intellectually. While awakening, I

have gone through emotional turmoil and anxiety, and when I discovered how to

release these, instantly, what was left was apathy and detachment. I think old

drivers and motivation fall away, but natural intention has not yet surfaced. It does,

and then action comes about very naturally.

Reply

Brando McGregor says:

February 25, 2010 at 11:47 AM

Wow thank you for this. I have been dealing with anxiety on and off for most

of my life. During the times when I am anxiety free I am completely in sync and

functioning. When I am anxious though I become hyper aware of my body and begin to

fill my head with very pessimistic thoughts. I become a prisoner of my body and my

feelings. And I become annoyed by existence itself. A feeling like I just want to stay in

bed and stop.

I came up with something similar to the sedona method…embracing the feeling and

then moving on. I got this from various websites but this website really puts everything

into wonderful perspective.

I have been meditating a lot and have been realizing that I really need to love myself.

My anxiety is trying to protect me from myself but it is actually imprisoning me.

What I would like to know….this is a habit I have…when I am feeling wonderful I have a

habit of saying to myself…”wait a minute…how can i be feeling this good when just a

few days ago i was feeling like hell? how did my anxiety go away so fast. There’s no

way i can be cured. Last time it took this many days to overcome. Theres no way…”

and so I start to check to see if its there. And if its not there…i tend to focus and focus

…like picking at a scab or scar…until I feel it again. THen i go through the entire cycle

of trying to conquer it again.

I am trying to learn how, once i have conquered my anxiety, how to keep myself from

“second guessing” myself and rechecking and rehashing the same anxiety. How do i

stop this cycle of anxiety, curing the anxiety, checking to see if its still there, recreating

it and then fighting it all over again? It’s so exhausting.

I am meditating and learning about the flow of love. Loving myself. But i want to learn

how to….keep my mind from revisiting old wounds and always constantly doubting my

well being.

Reply

Kaushik says:

February 25, 2010 at 1:49 PM

Hi Brando,

Yes, anxiety is debilitating. When I had anxiety, I would usually experience it in the

mornings intensely for an hour or so, and then at a little less intensely at various

periods in the day.

This method, and the Sedona Method and other release techniques work in the

same way: you completely allow what you are feeling and you let it go. We are not

able to see that we can let these emotions go easily and completely because we

are too busy resisting them.

The habit of saying “wait a minute…how is the even possible that I can let go of 

anxiety…”–this is a common feeling. The intellectual mind and the ego want to

understand. I think it may be that it is hard for us to accept that anxiety and other 

stored emotions don’t have any reality except the one we give them. How is it that

something that has caused me so much misery never actually existed?

When you feel that way, allow it. What you may be feeling with it, is some fear thatthis may come back, and in that case, completely allow the fear and let it go.

Yes, sometimes it is exhausting. Awakening is like that–it ebbs and flows, and

sometimes the ebbs seem like real downers. As you have said: Love yourself, allow,

be patient, continue to be aware (meditate), continue to release.

love and peace,

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k

Reply

Brando McGregor says:

February 25, 2010 at 9:43 PM

Kaushick I thank you so much I am definitely coming to this website often.

Everything I have gone through I have gone through before. But sometimes rather than

remember that it all goes away i focus on the struggle. and feel like i cannot control mymind. I have been modifying my habit to check and looking at it as something trying to

protect me. I thank it and then tell it I no longer need it. I am fine with my spirit

protecting me. I do not need the ego to protect me.

Reply

Kaushik says:

February 25, 2010 at 10:07 PM

Brando, that’s a wonderful way to handle it. Thanks for sharing the tip–it

can help others.

love and peace,

k

Reply

Iana says:

 April 6, 2010 at 9:13 AM

Hi Kaushik,

Wonderful website, I have been using your techniques, and it has helped a lot.

I am worried about one thing, I still don’t know what I want, mostly professionally. I would

like to work with passion, but I think I have been doing what I had to do for so long that I

can’t hear myself anymore.

Maybe you could do this your next article

Reply

Kaushik says:

 April 6, 2010 at 11:39 AM

Thank you, Iana. It is always nice to get feedback on the techniques.

It’s interesting you ask about passion. We want passion, purpose, positive thinking

and all their cousins for the same reason. With purpose, life seems more fun, closer 

to Truth, more energetic, more purposeful, and making decisions is easier and of 

course we get a lot of validation.

The trouble is that most of our thoughts are in service to the ego, which is the

thoughts and feelings we take ourselves to be. Passion, positive thinking, and evenspiritual advancement are stories of the ego–stories driven by desires and fear and

conditioning. So we strive and chase passion and positive thinking, and we need

our stories to go in certain ways.

In my experience, as I release, and develop awareness, there is an inner peace and

acceptance, in which passion is sometimes invited.

You’re right, I will write more about this in an article.

I hope you are doing well!

love and peace,

k

Reply

Vera says:

May 3, 2010 at 12:10 PM

This article is wonderful. I have found that I have developed intense anxiety,

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living in my own thoughts and self-judgment, as i grow up. I am beginning to try

“awakening” techniques that bring me back to the simple enjoyments of adolescence

and childhood, when you didn’t question everything, you just let it flow, you let love in

without being afraid of it. It’s very hard… But seem to slowly be working! Thank you.

I just had a question about this technique though. It works well when anxiety is only

related to YOURSELF. What about when the anxiety you experience is a product of 

pain from SOMEONE ELSE, a relationship past that has not been settled in real life, so

how can it be settled within yourself? I am able to release my PERSONAL feeling of 

pain, but then there is still something unresolved attached to this other person that

begins the anxiety cycle all over again. so once you rid of the feeling, how to deal with

the real life problem causing it.

xo:)

Reply

Kaushik says:

May 3, 2010 at 12:56 PM

Hi Vera,

Thanks for the wonderful comment, and you ask a very important question.

Relationships seem to be the ego’s favorite playground and many of us find

resistance there. In the type of scenario you describe, there can be unresolved

pain which can last quite some time. There is longing, a need to be heard, a wish toforget, compulsive thinking, obsessive stories running in the head, and so on.

See it as an opportunity. As the Dalai Lama says, when you don’t get what you

want, it’s sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

I have written here about how to deal with the pain of ended relationships.

The Sedona method can be helpful. It asks to see that much of our conditioned

suffering comes from the need for approval, the need for security, the need for 

control, and the need to awaken.

Other resources I can suggest: The Sedona Method, EFT, Eckhart Tolle,

greatfreedom.org, Byron Katie…(see External Resources page).

 Any amount of pain is simply resistance. Anxiety is anxiety whether it is about “me”

or someone else–it is all body-sensations connected to thought-stories. We canlearn to let go, and releasing gets easier and easier and easier …

love and peace,

k

Reply

nichola says:

 August 30, 2010 at 6:26 AM

i dont know if this will sound a little silly but i will try and express as well as

possible. I am aware that i emotion is there…usually is the form of anxiety, unease, etc

and with this tends to be obsessive thoughts that bring on anxiety etc….and so on acertain level practicing awareness and meditation i have learnt that when my thoughts

are not as active/ thinking of certain situations i am not ‘feeling; the

emotion….however..at the same time, i am still somewhat aware and this brings double

anxiety, that all i have to do is have this or that thought and the emotion/feelings will

return and i will once again be there again….so for me its like they are always there,

even when they are not (hope this is making sense).

Now when you say feel/ accept the emotion i feel scared…thinking, well i dont want to

feel it again, i want it to go….and i=how do i JUST feel it without all my painful thoughts

attaching to it? can i feel the emotion without the thoughts? if so how?

Thank you and i hope i am clear enough for you to offer some help x

nichola

Reply

Kaushik says:

 August 30, 2010 at 11:04 AM

HI Nichola,

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I do understand. For years, I had on and off episodes of depression and anxiety.

During the times that I felt ‘normal’ there was always an underlying anxiety that this

will not last. The fear is that at any time, because of some life event or interruption

in schedule or perhaps no reason at all, the whole thing will collapse. And of course

this is re-enforced, because it seems that the fear does come true.

If you notice in yourself, what you are doing is suppressing thoughts and emotions

you have about your anxiety. You are suppressing the anxiety about having anxiety

again. This is normal and common.

 Accept that the underlying fear exists. It is no different from higher-level anxiety you

have. You can work on releasing this anxiety in the same way.

It’s helpful to remember that anxiety–any emotion in fact–is an association between

thought and body-sensations. When the thought is very subtle, we feel this as an

emotion. When the body-sensations are very subtle, we feel this as emotional

thoughts. So the anxiety you about having anxiety is also an association of some

thoughts and some body-sensations. Nothing more. You can be present to it, watch

it, and ask yourself to let it go.

I hope this helps.

Thanks for bringing up a very important point.

light and peace,

k

Reply

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