how to love again

7/31/2019 How to Love Again

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Author: Faythe Miller


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Chapter One: Finding out.

Running always seemed to be my outlet for problems Icouldnt speak about. Running pass scenery and people gave me achance to think about my life and to put things into order. Runningwas also how I met my husband. I could remember the moment wemet like how I knew the back of my hand.

As I run because Im running at such a fast pace I normally

scream left, because its sor t of hard to slow down when you are going so fast. I screamed left and he didnt hear me. And as I got closer I knew what was about to happen so I let it. When we collided, it was painful but then again it was electric. I felt what I had never felt before when I made contact with the opposite sex. When he got up he wasnt angry but boy was he hostile.

Mind watching where youre going next time, you could really kill someone He said, rudely. As I looked into his face, I knew it was a face that I would never forget. His eyes were grey and his face was chiseled. Though his hair was cut in a weird funny way, it seemed to

fit him. Or maybe that was the after math of me.Sorry I said sheepishly as our eyes made contact, but then I

suddenly remembered that this wasnt my fault! Well it was but then again I told him to move. Maybe I wouldnt run into peopl e like you,if you would just listen to my warning of LEFT Then I realized as he

pointed it out, he was listening to music. I mentally face palmed myself and began to gravel.

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry I had no idea I knew I began to turn beat red, because for one I could feel the burning sensation on my face and this anonymous guy began to laugh at me. Well at least smirk.


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Its ok, I am not hurt really, but that sure as hell will leave a bruise! he said sounding angry, when he said bruise I winced slightly. Then all of a sudden, he stuck out his hand and said Im Kael.

Im Lana I said, shaking his hand simultaneously.And three years later we are now wedded for two of those three

years. But lately things have been going down south; his heart feltsmiles and caresses seemed to for some reason turn soulless andmeaningless. Even though I make an effort to pick things up its asif he doesnt want me to. As if he wants me to be as soulless ashimself. He now works more and seems to want to be around less.And I feel like its my fault, though I have not let myself go neither

have I not been a good wife.Running right now is all I need to stop myself from bursting

into flames.. . . . . . .

As I run up to the house I feel as though the atmosphere haschanged, is if someone had put up a large sheet of mystery over my home. As I opened the door I smelled the aroma of my Chanel No.

19, though I had not used it in two days. I felt as though somethingbad was about happen but like the day I met Kael, I ignored my mind and let it happen.

As I climbed the stairs I climbed them slowly, making nonoise. When I reached up the stairs, I continued on to my bedroom,hoping what I was thinking was just overthinking. Upon my arrivalto my bedroom I heard a giggle that was neither mine nor was itKaels. My eyes immediately started to cascade water. And slowly

but surely I opened the room door, still trying to do this as quietly as possible not trying to disturb the adulterers.

When I walked in, eyes already dry, my face already sticky,Kael looked at me as if he had seen a ghost. Our eyes met and Iquickly removed them, knowing that if they had stayed there longerI wouldve broken m y faade. I then moved my wandering eyes over


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my bedroom floor, noticing lingerie that was supposed to be neatly packed into my armoire. Then I looked at the harlot, who took my place in Kaels heart. It was the sleazy woman at Kaels office.Delilah, I smiled at the irony.

As Delilah gathered her clothes, I stepped aside giving herroom to wisp past me.

I then looked at Kael, and whispered through sobs Why? Then I turned out the room and walked down the steps giving himsome time to get dressed. As I walked down the stairs I felt likefalling down them, just lying there and sob until I met my death.But then I remembered how much I was insured for and knew notto because he would win.

When I got downstairs I got some of the coffee that was beingbrewed, sat down, cried and drank my coffee.

. . . . . . . . . . . .As Kael walked down the stairs, he finally laid eyes on me for

real. I looked up, eyes already swelling, and gave him a stare thatwould possibly kill if I willed it to. But then suddenly as quick as itcame, it left. My stare now turned into a slow and steady sob. I feltas though someone came and yanked my heart out of my chest.

Kael just sat there, staring not saying a word and let me cry for quite a long time. Finally, I contained myself and took a swig of my coffee which was now salty from the tears and cold.

Ive never been so betrayed in my life. This has to be the worstfeeling Ive had in a long time. I said, sipping on my salty coffee.

Im sorry, I thought this would fill a void but it doesnt Kaelbegan to say, begging for mercy.

Bullshit. I said simply, sipping on my coffee as if I had said

bless you. Kael was taken back because I had always scolded himfor profanity and rarely ever used it unless it was in the use of roadrage.

Dont expect me to believe anything you say, I am not adumbass bimbo like that slutty tit for brains that just left, I have a


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Ph.D. in Neurology, give me some damn credit. I said not lookinginto his capturing grey eyes.

Lana, babe and that word did it. I felt as though I blackedout. I slammed my coffee onto the floor and stood up and screamedat the top of my lungs.

Dont you call me babe! You cheating pig. We made vows tostay loyal and when you get bored you think its ok to find someoneelse to mess around with until you get bored with her too. How longhas it been? How long have you been sleeping with her in my bed?Oh my god! My bed, I sleep in that bed! How could you Kael? I gave

you everything, I cooked, I cleaned, I gave you everything and this ishow Im repaid? With a slap in the face with a smile!

Kael sat there and stared up at me and said quietly Please, Iam sorry, forgive me those words even got me so upset to the pointwhere I felt a migraine coming along.

Forgive you? You want forgiveness? How long have you beenwith her? I said crossing my arms across my chest.

One year Kael practically whispered it, but I heard it loudand clear and this made my rage grow from level one to level ten.

A year Kael? What the fuck? Just over a year ago we were

newlyweds. Kael. When I said his name, I whined as if I was a childasking for something I could never get.

We could get over this babe, we could go to counseling, andwe could make things better! Please. He said with pleading eyes.

Its too late Kael And just as I said it, I blacked out and fell tothe floor. Feeling the prickling from the glass, oozing of the bloodand regretting ever running into Kael that day.


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Chapter Two: Surprise.

When I woke up I was in a bed in the hospital I worked at,Kael was sitting near the bed, crying. This pulled at my heartstrings, because the one thing I hated was to see a man cry, italways broke me down.

Im supposed to be the one crying you asshole. I said nearly knocking his head off the bed where it was bent.

Oh Lana! He said rising quickly and hugging me like he usedto. I liked this rush of the memory until the current one over

shadowed it. And as I remembered I shook him off me seeing thehurt in his eyes. I didnt care, because I have been and am goingthrough way worst.

Go get Doctor Sands, I need to leave, I have a long shifttomorrow. I said st ernly, and like that, Kael got up and practically flew out the door.

Hey Doctor Hartley, I see that youre up Doctor Sands or Janice smiled warmly as she said this. She was a good friend of

mine and had obviously not heard the full story from Kael, becauseif she had, Kael would be lying here instead of me.

Hey Doctor Sands I said smiling, we never really calle d eachother by our first names because I guess I felt as though it wasinformal for the work place and besides the sound of Doctor Hartley s ounded better than Lana. Can I leave now? I am real tired and Ihave some long hours to put in tomorrow. I said getting up butflopping back down. When I did this Kael winced and Janice shook

her head quickly.No. She practically screamed. Ill have to run just a few

more tests and then well see if you can leave.Fine I said turning on the T.V as she left, just so Kael knew

that I didnt want to speak.. . . . . . . . . . . .


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I woke up and the hospital room was dark, only one lightcoming from the T.V. Ridiculousness was playing, and I knew thatKael had gotten a hold of the remote. When I got up I saw Kael lyingin the sofa next to me sleeping. His dark brown hair was all over theplace, and his large chiseled body seemed to be uncomfortable inthe tiny sofa. And for this one time I let my heart flow normally again because I was looking at the man I fell in love with.

Soon his eyes flickered open and his grey eyes fell on my greenones. I saw something that I had never seen before from him and itwas remorse. I gave him a smile and he gave me one sorrowful oneright back. I scooted over and tapped the space next to me, and heslowly got into the bed.

Dont assume that this means that you are forgiven, I want tobe the one to hurt you, not s ome cheap ass sofa. I said turningover to face the other side of the room, lying on my side.

Couple of minutes flew by and Janice had walked back intothe door, holding a handful of papers. She looked at us and smiled,not knowing the problem behind this image.

Ok Doctor Hartley, you my friend are fine. Your pressure gotback down. What were you doing why it rose so quickly? She asked

inquisitively.I was surprised. I said simply smiling slightly. Just then

Kael slid off the bed and stood up, hovering next to me.Well, I guess you might want to stay in the hospital a little

while longer if thats the case. When Janice said this I looked ather and cocked my head to the side.

What? Janice please explain. I was serious and Janice hadknown it to because this was the first time I used her first name.

Nothing to worry about, youre pregnant. She said smiling.Kael sat down quickly and obviously had to steady himself.

Good. I said smiling.


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Chapter Three: Decisions.It has now been three months since weve gotten the news that

I have, in me, two new additions to the Hartley family. My belly hasbegun to show and now every time Kael looks at it, I know hesextremely sorry for what hes done, just by looking at the looking athis eyes.

how to love again

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