how to have a happy start in motherhood

How to Have a Happy Start in Motherhood

for First Time Moms-to-beby Coach Ahu

www.MotherhoodGamePlan.comwww.CoachAhu.com

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• The first few months in motherhood are the most demanding ones.

• Trying to manage daily life while recovering from childbirth and meeting the needs of a newborn is not easy.

• Most new mothers get disappointed because life after the birth of their baby is usually very different from how they dreamed about it while they were pregnant.

© 2012 Copyright - Coach Ahu

CoachAhu.com - MotherhoodGamePlan.com - HappyMotherHappyChild.com

The good news is this won’t happen to you if you remember that the number one secret to having a great start in motherhood is being prepared, not only physically but also mentally and emotionally, for your new life after the birth of your baby.



When you know what to expect, you can plan how you’ll effectively manage things and you’ll enjoy these most special first few months with your baby to the full.



• There are 20 crucial topics you need to be aware of when you are preparing to be a first time mother.

• Working on each, slowly and steadily, will bring you closer and closer to a great start in motherhood.



• Raising a child, by its demanding nature, will bring out the best and worst in you. If you have any past or current unresolved issues that are preventing you from having inner peace and contentment, this can impact how you parent your child.

• Use your pregnancy to motivate yourself to work on eliminating any negativity from your life, so you can prepare for a fresh start with your baby.



1 – Fresh Start

• In the many ups and downs of your motherhood journey, one thing that will help you to keep it together and make the best possible decisions, is self-confidence. • Being a confident person starts with knowing who you are by being very clear on your personal values, strengths, and natural abilities, and by embracing past and current achievements. • Working on building up your self-confidence while you are expecting, will serve you very well as a new mother.



2 – Self-confidence

• If you are used to feeling in control and organized, you might be frustrated when your orderly lifestyle flies out the window after you give birth.

• Even though a certain degree of chaos is inevitable, there are many things you can do to minimize it such as: simplifying your life before the birth of your baby; saying “no” to obligations and occasions that are not a priority; and learning to stop pressuring yourself with perfection by making your peace with being good enough.



3 – Peaceful Life

• After you have your baby, the most difficult thing for you to find will be time. Time for sleeping, resting, eating, personal care, hobbies, romance, running errands, housework, socializing, and so on.

• Feeling that you never have enough time can lead to you resenting motherhood, rather than enjoying it.

• Work out who you can rely on to give you support in your first few months with your baby.



4 – Support System

• A tiny new baby can mean big changes and major expenses for new parents, so it’s best to be prepared financially.

• Start thinking about this early on in your pregnancy, because it will have an impact on whether you will need to work or not, and on how much you can allocate for a solid support system, as well as for the other expenses for baby.



5 – Planning Your Finances

• If you are planning to return to work after your baby is born, there are a few things you can do to have a smoother transition, such as finding out about your maternity-leave benefits and clarifying with your employer your options of working flexible hours, telecommuting or working part time. • If you are self-employed, you will benefit from working on a plan that will accommodate your new life in the first few months with your baby.



6 – Returning to Work After Baby

• Having a baby is a life-changing event, and your relationship with your partner may change after the birth, due to lifestyle adjustments, role changes, and the responsibility of baby care.

• It’ll be a huge help to figure out in advance how to divide work, childcare, and household duties and how to balance having time with the baby, time as a couple, and time alone.



7 – Relationship After Baby

• New mothers usually feel mixed emotions as they adjust to a new lifestyle, due to hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and just being overwhelmed.

• The most effective way to manage any mood swings is to make sure you have people in your life who will be available for emotional support, especially for the first few months of motherhood.



8 – Emotional Support

• When you are a new mother, it’s so easy to get caught up in the never-ending demands of baby care … but you’ll be better able to meet those demands if you consciously plan for your “Me Time” and make it a priority.

• Balancing your own needs with motherhood will be the most important new skill you develop. Making time to take good care of yourself is your biggest gift to yourself, your baby, and your partner.



9 – “Me Time” for Mommy

• Pregnancy is the biggest change in a woman’s body since puberty, and many women do not anticipate how having a child will affect their bodies. They are surprised to find that their body does not immediately go back its pre-pregnancy shape (as seems to happen with celebrity new mothers) and they end up being disappointed. • Prepare yourself emotionally by having realistic expectations of how your body will be after birth and keep reminding yourself all the ways in which it supports you in your life.



10 – Embracing Your New Body

• Motherhood, while viewed as instinctive by society, does not come naturally much of the time. • You may face feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt as you figure out by trial and error how to take care of your baby—and as you begin to realize that your instincts don’t have all the answers. • If that happens to you, don’t panic. Just know that mothering is mostly a learned skill and not only instinctive. Effective parenting comes from using instincts together with learned parenting skills.



11 – Combining Instincts with Parenting Skills

• There are many new skills to learn when taking care of a newborn: breast-feeding, bottle feeding, burping, changing diapers, swaddling, bathing, dressing, and holding the baby. • Many parents-to-be wait to learn these skills until after the birth of their baby, but trying to adjust to so much at once creates stress, especially when you are tired and sleep-deprived. • Educate yourself about these tasks as soon as possible during your pregnancy by taking courses, reading books, or practicing with dolls. • This will make you feel prepared, give you relief and confidence once your baby is born, and help you to get on with things smoothly.



12 – Basic Baby Care

• One thing that most parenting and child-development specialists agree on is that babies thrive best on a routine. • There are many different schools of thoughts on how to achieve a great routine and it can get very confusing when you’re deciding which path to follow. All options have advantages and disadvantages, and different methods work for different parents and babies. • Start your research ahead of time, about different school of thoughts and different routine styles. Talk to other parents, finding out about as many diverse experiences as possible. Then agree with your partner on a way that feels right to both of you.



13 – Creating a Routine

• The media presents breast-feeding as natural, easy, and instinctive. In real life, many new mothers struggle with sore nipples, not having enough milk or having too much milk, because they are not properly taught how to feed their baby. • It’s important that you educate yourself ahead of time about what it takes to feed your baby efficiently and effectively so that she will grow and sleep better, and so you will look forward these happy feeding times.



14 – Efficient & Happy Feeding Time

• One of the biggest challenges of caring for a newborn is the change in your sleep patterns. Parents are human too, and they need sleep in order to function. Not getting enough sleep day after day will cause accumulated sleep deprivation, impacting on your relationship with your partner and on your enjoyment of motherhood. • Having quality sleep is as important for you as it is important for your baby’s growth. Therefore, it’s essential that you educate yourself on how you can help your baby develop good sleeping habits right from the beginning.



15 – Good Sleeping Habits for Baby

• Your baby will cry and you won’t like it. You can educate yourself in advance about the reasons why babies cry, other than being hungry (such as over-tiredness, tummy pain, boredom, not feeling well). Learn how you can eliminate the reasons for crying, and soothe your baby when everything else fails. • Being informed will help you to remain calm and centered when your baby cries, making you better able to figure out what’s going on with your baby and soothe her.



16 – Minimizing Baby’s Crying

• Not all mothers bond with their babies instantly. Some mothers feel an immediate connection with their newborn, but for others, the bond takes longer to develop. • Don’t worry or feel guilty if you aren’t overwhelmed with a rush of love at the beginning. Bonding is a natural byproduct of everyday care-giving. • Do your research on what it takes to create a strong bond between mother and baby. Be informed about why that bond could be disrupted and what to do to prevent that.



17 – Bonding with Your Baby

• For some first time fathers or fathers-to-be, it takes time to bond with the baby. • They will need opportunities to spend some private time with baby and they will need your encouragement and positive feedback to build up their confidence. • Discuss some ideas with your partner and create a plan together of how he can be included in the daily care of the baby, so that he does not feel left out.



18 – Daddy Bonding with Baby

• When you’re expecting your first baby, suddenly everyone is an expert! One of the biggest challenges facing new mothers is the nonstop advice from parents, relatives, friends, and even strangers. • It is easy to get overwhelmed by these intrusions and react in a way that could harm your relationships. • Plan ahead of time how to handle these situations gracefully if you disagree with the advice of people who are especially close to you (such as your mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, or your best friend).



19 – Dealing with Advice

• Before your baby’s birth, prepare for making that special first week calm, peaceful, and fun for you, your partner, and your precious little one.

• Consider: cleaning the house so you don’t have to worry about it later on, planning what to eat in the first week, organizing who will help you with which tasks, making sure you have the essential necessities for you and your baby.



20 – First Week with Baby at Home

Don’t leave those preparations to the last minute, as you never know when your baby will decide to come out.

I go into more depth on each topic in the Free Motherhood Game Plan Guide that you can download for free on www.MotherhoodGamePlan.com blog.

Looking forward to seeing you there

Coach Ahu



how to have a happy start in motherhood

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