How to build a capitalistic Robot

Piksel10Richard Spindler

Scientific

Recognized Expert forTHE COMPUTARZ

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How People think Business works:

I do „work“

I get money

How People think Business works:

I do „work“

I get moneyFAIL

How this Illusion is sustained

I'll just do something people need

How this Illusion is sustained

I'll just do something people needWhat „People“ need:●To EAT●To SLEEP●To FUCK

How this Illusion is sustained

I'll just do something people needWhat „People“ need:●To EAT●To SLEEP●To FUCKEverything else is just fo

r FUN!

So this is how Business works:

1) Convince someone that what you do is FUN!

So this is how Business works:

1) Convince someone that what you do is FUN!

2) DO IT!

So this is how Business works:

1) Convince someone that what you do is FUN!

2) DO IT!3) Collect the LOLZ

So this is how Business works:

1) Convince someone that what you do is FUN!

2) DO IT!3) Collect the LOLZMoney

Case StudyScientific

Prospect ALook Ma, I'm sellingcheap asian made

Sports Shoes

Look Ma, I'm sellingcheap asian made

Sports Shoes

Shoes:

15 $

Case StudyScientific

Prospect A Prospect BLook Ma, I'm sellingcheap asian made

Sports Shoes

Look Ma, I'm sellingcheap asian made

Sports Shoes

Look Ma, I'm sellingcheap asian made

Sports Shoes

Shoes:

15 $Shoes:

50 $

NIKE

NIKE

NIKE

NIKE

NIKE

NIKE NIKE

NIKE

Case StudyScientific

Prospect A Prospect BLook Ma, I'm sellingcheap asian made

Sports Shoes

Look Ma, I'm sellingcheap asian made

Sports Shoes

Look Ma, I'm sellingcheap asian made

Sports Shoes

Shoes:

15 $Shoes:

50 $

NIKE

NIKE

NIKE

NIKE

NIKE

NIKE NIKE

NIKE

Guess who gets the LOLZ?

Case StudyScientific

Prospect A Prospect BLook Ma, I'm sellingcheap asian made

Sports Shoes

Look Ma, I'm sellingcheap asian made

Sports Shoes

Look Ma, I'm sellingcheap asian made

Sports Shoes

Shoes:

15 $Shoes:

50 $

NIKE

NIKE

NIKE

NIKE

NIKE

NIKE NIKE

NIKE

Guess who gets the LOLZ?Science

It worksBitches!

Job Opportunity:

Needed:● Hard working● Honest● Engineering Degree● Etc.

Benefits:● Bang Head against Walls● Work with Impecibles● Do Stuff to pass Time

Job Opportunity:

Needed:● Hard working● Honest● Engineering Degree● Etc.

Benefits:● Bang Head against Walls● Work with Impecibles● Do Stuff to pass Time

WHY BO

THER?

Insert Coin

Get Chocolate

Case Study #2

Insert Coin

Get Chocolate

(S)He gets the LOLZ!

Case Study #2

TEH INTARNETSA GIANT LOLZ

MACHINE

TEH INTARNETSA GIANT LOLZ

MACHINE

Look Ma,No Hands!

TEH INTARNETSA GIANT LOLZ

MACHINE

Look Ma,No Hands!Job

TEH INTARNETSA GIANT LOLZ

MACHINE

Look Ma,No Hands!Job

But all t

he LOLZ!

OK!Funny, hu?HahaHahahaHahahahahahahahahaha

OK!Funny, hu?HahaHahahaHahahahahahahahahahaEnoug

h!

OK!Funny, hu?HahaHahahaHahahahahahahahahahaEnoug

h!That's it!

No more „Mr nice Guy“!

Internet Business

● Affiliate Marketing● Adsense / Blogs● Premium Content / Ebooks● Powerseller / Ebay / Amazon● AppStores / iPhone / Android● Content Sites / Photalia / iStockphoto● Niche Sites / SEO

Affiliate Marketing

Hey Buddy,Look at that cool site:

that sells the ubercool Widget XY

Click

ID: 1234Random Surfer buys

Some Crap

Your Commission

Adsense / Blogs

Your marginallyInteresting Blog

Blablabla bla bla blaBla bla

Some random

AdvertisingGooglebotthinks isrelevant

Premium Content / Ebooks

Buy my EbookAbout Topic XY(like Cars, Girls,

Fishing, etc.)

To Buy:Click HERE!

Powerseller / Ebay / Amazon

Hey, check out those cheapGadgets I bought on my last

Hongkong Holiday:

Great Price, Value, blabla

Fun Fact:Amazon Services

For Business

AppStors / iPhone / Android

You got to see this Buddies:I've made Beer-Farting App,

It's only

0,50 $

Content Sites / Photalia / iStockphoto

Ha, now look at this,Not only have I been at this great

Holiday Location,I also get to make 0,20 $ wheneverSomeone insists to use one of my

Photos for his braindeadMarketing Campaign.

Niche Sites / SEO

Ok, now I've made this siteEspecially about this wierd

But marginally popular sexual fetish_____ where it is explained in

Detail how _____ gets into _____And then you got to ____ your ____

At _____ ......

Ebook

Adsense

SEO

Jargon:

Muse

Jargon:

MusePassive

Income

But!It's about the

Money, Stupid!

But!It's about the

Money, Stupid!Being clever is notA Business Model!

But!It's about the

Money, Stupid!Being clever is notA Business Model!

Being clever is not a Business Model!Being clever is not a Business Model!Being clever is not a Business Model!Being clever is not a Business Model!Being clever is not a Business Model!Being clever is not a Business Model!Being clever is not a Business Model!Being clever is not a Business Model!

Business Model Basics

Market Product Brand

Cash Flow Monetization

Fun Fact:

Your product may not

make you the money

Fun Fact:

Without C

ash Flow,

Its not a

Business!

Cash Flow

● We already covered this …

Remember:

AdSense, etc...

Market

Surprise, Surprise:People already know

what they want!

Market

Surprise, Surprise:People already know

what they want!

What „People“ need:●To EAT●To SLEEP●To FUCK

Brand

● Create Relationships● Foster Brand Loyality● Develop new Markets● Increase Customer Satisfaction● Insert Random Business Bullshit here....● etc...

Brand

● Create Relationships● Foster Brand Loyality● Develop new Markets● Increase Customer Satisfaction● Insert Random Business Bullshit here....● etc...

Ok, we'll skip this!

Brand

● Create Relationships● Foster Brand Loyality● Develop new Markets● Increase Customer Satisfaction● Insert Random Business Bullshit here....● etc...

Ok, we'll skip this!

Because we areGoing to get

Fucking Organizedfirst!

Recording the Status Quo!

● You have a Budget of Monthly Expenses?● Complete Inventory of all your Belongings?● Detailed Report of Last Years Events?● A Calendar for this Years Events?● A List of all Internet Pages you visit?● Shows you watch?● Places you patron?

Recording the Status Quo!

● You have a Budget of Monthly Expenses?● Complete Inventory of all your Belongings?● Detailed Report of Last Years Events?● A Calendar for this Years Events?● A List of all Internet Pages you visit?● Shows you watch?● Places you patron?

Like most smallBusinesses, yourLife is probablyA fucking mess!

Recording the Status Quo!

● You have a Budget of Monthly Expenses?● Complete Inventory of all your Belongings?● Detailed Report of Last Years Events?● A Calendar for this Years Events?● A List of all Internet Pages you visit?● Shows you watch?● Places you patron?

Like most smallBusinesses, yourLife is probablyA fucking mess!

Therefore I advise youto Read:

Getting Things Done by David Allen

And 

The 4 Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferris

Recording the Status Quo!

● You have a Budget of Monthly Expenses?● Complete Inventory of all your Belongings?● Detailed Report of Last Years Events?● A Calendar for this Years Events?● A List of all Internet Pages you visit?● Shows you watch?● Places you patron?

Like most smallBusinesses, yourLife is probablyA fucking mess!

Therefore I advise youto Read:

Getting Things Done by David Allen

And 

The 4 Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferris

And don't be a bitch about this!

There is Room enough in your Life

for

Chaos & Disorder!still

The Meat and PotatoesPrepare to iterate rapidly between the following phases

Chaos

Discord

Confusion

Buerocracy The Aftermath

The Meat and PotatoesPrepare to iterate rapidly between the following phases

Chaos

Discord

Confusion

Buerocracy The Aftermath

Cornflakes

Chaos

● Rapidly collect Product Ideas● Brainstorm massively● Talk to hundered people● Give Promises

Discord

● Build Webpages / Fight Procrastination● Write Emails / Speak out● Give Talks / Face your fears● Promote / Break out of Habits

Confusion

● Realize it does not work and introduce random Change

Buerocracy

● Finally have all the systems in place● To turn everyone involved into mindless worker

bees

The Aftermath

● Find out if it was actually worth the effort

The Meat and Potatoes

Chaos

Discord

Confusion

Buerocracy The Aftermath

The Meat and Potatoes

Chaos

Discord

Confusion

Buerocracy The Aftermath

real

The Meat and Potatoes

Chaos

Discord

Confusion

Buerocracy The Aftermath

SEOGuer i l la  Marketing

What 's  a  squeeze Page?Whats a  landing Page?

A/B Testing

real

SEO

● „Valuable“ and relevant Content● Have someone summarize Wikipedia Articles● Target some Subculture● Write „Guest Posts“● Get Magazine Coverage● Visit and present at relevant Festivals and

Meetings● Become Member of relevant Organisations

Guerilla Marketing

● Produce Youtube „Howto“ Videos● Make Software „Screencasts“● Have someone make sarcastic and mean

webcomics

What is a Squeeze Page?

● Read the following article to learn all about squeeze pages!

● We've worked with hundreds of customers to improve their squeeze page to make them more money

● Having a good squeeze page can significantly increase your business.

● Look at that sample video of what you will find in our squeeze page course!

What is a Squeeze Page?

● Read the following article to learn all about squeeze pages!

● We've worked with hundreds of customers to improve their squeeze page to make them more money

● Having a good squeeze page can significantly increase your business.

● Look at that sample video of what you will find in our squeeze page course!

Click Here to BUY my Ebook

about Squeeze Pages!

What is a Squeeze Page?

● Read the following article to learn all about squeeze pages!

● We've worked with hundreds of customers to improve their squeeze page to make them more money

● Having a good squeeze page can significantly increase your business.

● Look at that sample video of what you will find in our squeeze page course!

Click Here to BUY my Ebook

about Squeeze Pages!

This Mr/Mrs

Is a SqueezePage!

What is a Landing Page?

● User Clicks on Advertising Link

What is a Landing Page?

● User Clicks on Advertising LinkWelcome to Product X Site

Produkt Benefits:• Bla• Bla Bla• Bla Bla Bla

Customer Testimonials• Bla• Bla Bla• Bla Bla Bla

Hi, and welcome to our Site, we areSooo happy to have you here, andOf course you are only here becauseYou definitely want to buy our supercialistic Produkt for Shmatzizing.,,

Click Here to find out more / buy

What is A/B Testing?

● Build the same Page twice● Have 1000 Users look at Page A● Have 1000 Users look at Page B● See who buys more.

Tools of the Trade

● Google Keyword Tools● Paypal● Amazon● Direct Response Marketing

Tools of the Trade

● Google Keyword Tools● Paypal● Amazon● Direct Response Marketing

Fun Fact: I've never need this crap

Making a Mess

● Learning Emotional Communication● Fun Fact: Emotional Messages are generally

faster than Messages of Reason● Writing Business Manuals and Marketing Copy

will be faster and easier● Build a shortcut into your Brain and Knowledge● Nobody likes a Smartass!

Making a Mess

● Learning Emotional Communication● Fun Fact: Emotional Messages are generally

faster than Messages of Reason● Writing Business Manuals and Marketing Copy

will be faster and easier● Build a shortcut into your Brain and Knowledge● Nobody likes a Smartass!

Erm, I  mean:

Building Organizations

Become a faster Thinker

● Practice thinking/doing NOTHING● Systematically conquer Fears● Isolate missing Skills and „crush“ them by

intense repetitions● Learn to Focus: Think about one thing only.● Calm down: go from thinking at top speed to

complete standstill

Finish early

● Actually, you don't have to finish, you can just stop when, ...