how to align your emotions with logic

8/10/2019 How to Align Your Emotions With Logic

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Awareness

Numerology Profile

.

How to Align Your

Emotions with Logic

Melanie Tonia EvansEmpowered Living

Copyright 2010 Melanie Tonia Evans

www.melanietoniaevans.com


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2 | How to Align Your Emotions With Your Logic

@ C o p y r i g h t M e l a n i e T o n i a E v a n s 2 0 1 0

How to Align Your Emotions with Your Logic

by Melanie Tonia Evans

2010+January Copyrighted Content by Melanie Tonia Evans. All rights reserved.

Cover design and layout by Janara Jornor

Photographs by Istock Photo

No part of this ebook may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, electronic or mechanical,

including photocopying or recording or by any information storage or retrieval system, without express

permission in writing from the author, except where brief passages are quoted for the purposes of review.

1st Edition Published 2010 by

Melanie Tonia Evans

Australia

Website:www.melanietoniaevans.com

ISBN 987-0-9806966-3-9

First edition printed January 2010

Melanie Tonia Evans and How to Align Your Emotions with Your Logic are registered trademarks ofMeltoniaEnterprises Pty LtdAustralia.

Melanie Tonia Evans is neither a qualified psychologist nor a qualified counsellor and offers

her insights and advice for guidance only.
http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/


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us. By doing so its difficult to be in aposition to know ourselves, trust ourselves and actually

know what wethink and feel, let alone get our thinking and feeling components co-

operating harmoniously. Why is it so difficult? Because so many of our thoughts and feelings

are controlledby life outside of us; theyre not even authentically our own.

Additionally, as a result of many of our thoughts and feelings stemming from a basis of

emptiness and unworthiness, theyre boundto be painful. Our worthiness became what we

haveinstead of who we are. Our identity depended on how people saw us instead of how

we perceived ourself.

This false state of selfcreates a great deal of internal confusion and pain, because our

feelings and emotions are very precarious. We can only feel okay iflife and people are

propping us up and supplying the good stuff, and when theyre not we fall flat again and

become our own worst enemy because our obsessing about how to make life and other

people supply the good stuffleaves us feeling empty and powerless.

How painful and tormenting this is, and for one very good reason: we dont havecontrol

over life and people. We only have control of ourselves.

No wonder we feel out of whack every time we try to force life and others to comply

because it never works. We also feel out of sorts due to the lack of understanding that we

are the support and good feeling source that were trying to force life and others to be. But

do we connect to and use that authentic source? Possibly not. Maybe weve spent our

whole life looking to the outside for validation instead.

Why is the source us? Because weare ourselves, and our source of selfis always available,

we dont have to chase down or make appointments with ourself; were always there.

Therefore we are the most qualified individual to be our own reliable support system.

Why werent we taught this wisdom? Look at what resultedthe human racemany, many

beings who are their own worst enemies, instead of knowing how to be with and support

themselves. I know what its like to be in this state, because I used to do this too.


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Who are youreally?

Its very useful to realise, that as a part of Source Energy, yourea being of creation, and

therefore a part of creation itself, and as such youreinfinitely worthy and magnificent just

as you are. Yourecreation, life, God, whatever you want to call this.

I promise you, this is not coming from an egotistical standpoint. Imexpressing this in a

humble light. You see, when you know that yourea part of creation, you feel warm, at

peace and safe. You feel loved, whole and real. The fearful anxiety drops away, as does the

neediness.

From this state, theresno feelings of the emptiness and the fear thatsso responsible for

the urges to take, harm, dominate and conquer. Additionally theresno urges to

manipulate, please others in order to gain approval, or use any other form of defence

mechanism (false and fearful behaviour) in order to get your needs met.

Why? Because you feel fulland you feel whole. What could you possibly need to position

yourself for when you feel like this?! You have the freedom to be yourself, come what may,

because theresno need for anything to have to happen a certain way in order for you to

feel well.

I promise you that the Real Youalready has its act together. I mean this! The Real You

knows how to be aligned, how to flow and how to be at one with yourself and all of

creation.

In truth theresnothingthat you need to add or become in order to experience this,

because you already are this. You might think Im crazy, but this I know 100%. Whoever you

are, no matter where youve come from, and no matter how convoluted you feel, the

absolute truth is that your natural state knows what it is to alwaysbe at one, itsjust that

theres been a whole lot of stuffthats got in the way.


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Youve looked for the answers outside of yourself instead of coming back to yourself. Once

you come back to yourself, instead of running from yourself, the struggle begins to cease,

because youll find what youve always been lookingfor.

You may have noticed more than ever, that the struggle with selfis getting worse. This is

because time and evolution has sped up and wereall in a make or break time. Human

consciousness is beingforced to evolve and were fasttracking towards this goal now. I call

it giddy up or get off. Youre either going to make it or youll split in two.

If youfeel what Im saying youll know its the truth.

The message in the struggle is always the same message: stop trying to get unauthentic

support by ignoring the support of yourself.

You are life, and youre the creation point of your own experience. Therefore everything

youreencountering (including your own struggles and behaviour) is representative of just

how much you are or arent being present with yourself, which equates to the same thing as

how aligned you are or arent withcreation and flow and truth (authentic living).

You see, you, life and creation are all the same thing.

The static thatsprevented you from being yourself

The static is in regard toforgetting the truth.

The truth sets us free, and the further we are from the truth the more it hurts.


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We take life too seriously because we forget that being homemeans: we already are our

own source of fullness and all we need, and were here to expand and play and create

more from this existing source of self.

The cost of the illusion

Because weveforgotten the truth, we arent aligned with it and instead weve conjured up

the experience of feeling broken, lost and confused.

The illusion has become our version of real.The illusion is run by our ego which is inopposition to our true integrity.

The physical human experience dictates the necessity of an egothat is we need to have

the illusion of being separated, being mortal and having fear, otherwise the game of

physical creation and expansive funwould be up, as wed walk in front of buses because

wedknow wereenergetically immortal. We need a measure offearin order to stay

present in our physical selves.

The problem is, our ego gets carried away with fear and takes it on to the level of self-

sabotage. Because our ego believes in scarcity it thinks in I needterms, and If I dont get that

then someone else will. Our ego pitches us into competition, and everything and everyone

else can become the thing we fear, the thing that can hurt us, the thing that we have to

make wrong in order to be right, and the thing we have to try to control.

Or world is full of egoic fear. This is why the world has the Haves and the Have Nots;

there are very few civilizations which have the beliefs of honesty, trust, sharing and plenty.

Ironically these civilizations that are generally tribal, are seen as prehistoric, unevolved and

even heathen. It doesnt take a rocket scientist to work out which civilizations are mentally

and emotionally healthier. Ego is responsible for the dog eat dog world of fascism,

materialism and consumerism, and has created a lot of our conditioned thinking.


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Because society forced us to create our self-value from our environment, we established the

human condition of co-dependency, which means our perceived identity depended on

things outside of ourselves, and how life and other people were or werent treating us.

In fact we got so disconnected from our true identity that many people became terrified of

being alone with themselves (a being they didntknow, judged harshly, and probably dont

like), and had to find ways to avoid this uncomfortable interaction, such as constant TV

watching, always needing company, or any other suitable distraction.

If wereco-dependent, were notliving life according with how we truly feel, in fact were

constantly re-adjusting our real feelings in order to fit in with someone elsesversion of life.

After all, other people have become our sense of self,so we do whatever it takes to try to

keep them around in order to receive the love, approval or security that we need from

them.

We then stay attached hoping for any scrap of attention and acceptance, because the

thought of risking their disapproval, rejection or abandonment is unthinkable. If we lose

them, then we must lose ourselves; because weve become them.

As a result we run the risk of putting up with really uncomfortable, painful and even abusive

life situations rather than take the risk of ending up alone. Who on earth would like to be

alone with an empty, hollow person who doesnt have a real identity?

Conversely, we may stumble across real love and acceptance, but because we havent

connected to these resources within ourself, we cant accept this love. We question it, we

distrust it and ultimately we drive away the very love that we wished we could have. The

very love that werefailing to grant ourselves.

We may repeat this pattern many times until we embody the vital lesson: Its an

impossibility to recognise and accept in another, what it is that wevefailed to recognise and

accept in ourself.


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The poison of judgment

This egoic model of self is the one running through our heads. Our thoughts based on this

model are extremely self-judgmental and self-condemning. Not only do we beat ourselves

up, but we pass a great deal of judgment on life and other individuals. If people or things

arent up to our expectations we feel disappointed and even angry, and our natural

tendency is to try to force or manipulate them to match our versionsjust so that wecan

feel right again. Usually in order to feel right we have to make out something or someone

else is wrong.

The programming we received is very responsible for this. Structured religions were based

on rules and punishment. In fact the biggest rule and resulting punishment was: unless you

absolved your soul the right way (depending upon the particular religion) you were really

wrong and youdbe condemned to everlasting damnation.

Thats a pretty big black and white/ right or wrongjudgment. Is it any wonder that we

had such huge perceptions of right and wrong? If something isntright (an exact match for

our expectation) then it certainly has to be wrong, and just like the religious structures that

were passed from generation to generation what is wrong hasto beforcedto be right.

This is ludicrous! We have no power over life and others, and we have no need for certain

aspects of life or specific others to be a certain way in order for us to be fulfilled and happy.

Why dont we? Because there are plenty of other opportunities available!

Yet regardless of this truth we hang on, we argue, we thrash around, we obsess, and we

dont let go and exercise the freedom to simply be ourselves. This freedom of self can only

happen when we stop judging life and others, and unconditionally allow them to be

whatever and whoever they want to be.

Because of the judgment, rights and wrongs and battles with what was judged as wrong,

pressure started occurring within ourselves and in our lives. This pressure to get it right

occurs when we argue with ourselves (because lets face it, getting wrong is disastrous


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subconsciously it means going to hell), and we incessantly judge ourselves and beat

ourselves up mercilessly.

Why doesnt the judgment of ourselves keep us in line?

Why is it, no matter how many times we condemn ourselves and say No, dont do it!, we

continue doing the very thingthat we dont want to do?

Have a look at the development of our world despitethe demanded compliance that was

imposed on it. Did it work? No! Did the demanding of yourself that you get out of bedearlier, exercise four times a week, write that report, or be nicer to your mother work? No!

If youre determined to be your ownsergeant and court martial, nothing in your life is going

to change, and youre not going to listen, get itand fall into line no matter how much youd

like to.

Think about this logically for a minute. Have you ever done something because someone

else was forcing you to do it? No you didnt,and if you initially did, you did it out of fear, and

then it didntlast. It felt highly uncomfortable to be around this person, and no matter how

hard you tried you couldnt appease them, nothing was ever good enough, and you

constantly slipped up.

Nothing positive or REAL is ever created from the energy of judgment and fear.

Can you imagine how enlighteningit is when you realise that the number one culpritat

making you feel this torment is yourself? Why is it enlightening? Because youre on the

same team as you, youre present and available and you have the control over yourself to

stop doing it!


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Is it any wonder youve been thrashing around in life trying so desperately to get away from

yourself. Really, if you were with another person who was that hard on you would you want

to hang out with them?

Well guess what? You cantget away from you, youre stuck on the train of you with no

way off everso the best thing you can do is stop avoiding the unavoidable and come

home to yourself. Because as scary and daunting as this may seem, this is the home that

youve always been seeking. The homeof you is the place of truththat is its the place

where youget to set and create the truth of the life you want to live.

Dont beat yourself up even more

Please dont beat yourself up when you realisethat youre not integrated and that youre

struggling to get your mind and feelings aligned. At this point, hopefully, youre beginning

to understand whythis has happened.

You thought you were the only one going madwell the good news is youre not alone!

There are more people than you could even begin to imagine walking around in life feeling

totally disconnected, confused and overwhelmed and wearing a mask in order to appear

together.

Most of us (until we know better) are controlled by factors outside of us, most of us go

against our true feelings, and most of us sabotage our own happiness. The more we do this,

the more disconnection from ourselves (truth) we experience, and the more pain we suffer.

The trick in all of it is: stop participating in the illusion, and start aligning and telling yourself

piece by piece the truthall the truths we werent educated about from a young age, and

all the information that was bypassed in favour of learning times tables, History and English.

How crazy is it you may excell in some field of knowledge(and be really successful as a

result), yet feel like a total emotional failure no matter how much outer success you gain

because you werenttaught wisdomregarding how to be an integrated being. We were all


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vulnerabilities. You may feel that youll crumble when your defences are lowered, especially

if youre used to being a survivor, and feel that your whole life has been up to you as result

of receiving little or no support. Or maybe you feel youll be attacked and taken over if you

show any weakness, even to yourself. Additionally there might be the fear that if you drop

your armour of toughness, youllfall into your own grief and pity and never be able to crawlup and out again.

Vulnerability can be mistaken as weakness, yet itstruly an incredible strength. Vulnerability

is honesty, and honesty is truth. Truth is strength, and truth lays the essential foundations

for authentic power. Falsity, denial and diversions are the weaknesses that we think keep us

safe, yet they doom us to repeat the same defeating patterns that are painfully

disintegrating our lives.

Let me put this to you. Any act in life that isnt truth and love isfear. Every action in the

world that is force, neediness, addiction, anger and aggression has come from a state of

fear. A fear of: I myself am not enough.

When you go for that chocolate bar and eat the whole thing its not just because it tastes

good, its because yourefilling an inner emotional emptiness and fear. Every time that

person gets to you, its because theyre triggering a fear in you and youre making your

identity reliant upon what this person is or isnt giving you.

Maybe you want that person to give you the love and validation that youre not giving

yourself (such as moving on and seeking a happier relationship), or maybe youretaking on

their opinion of you and trying to force them to change their opinion, rather than creating

and holding a solid opinion of yourself.

The truth is: every time we have a needy impulse or a painful emotional trigger it comes

from a place of fear. At that time were notan integrated being, and whatever were doing

as a heart and a head connection isnt working.Our head knows we shouldnt be doing it

but our emotions are running the show regardless.


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Be crystal clear that if your emotions and your thinking arent aligned, your emotions which

are being controlled by life and other people (not you), are going to win the battle every

time. Then when the fiasco dies down youre going to want to beat yourself up and despise

yourself for what took place. By doing so, youvejust set yourself up for the inevitability of

another disconnected eventto come.

So for goodness sakeSTOP beating yourself up!

To have a great life you have to align with the Laws of Life

How do we align with the Laws of Life? Well first of all we have to have a clear idea of what

is going to work and what isgoing to be right for us. These directives cant come from a

place of the fear and insecurities that are driving our already tormented emotionsthese

directives have to come from a place of truth and wisdom.

Then we can exercise calm, clear and supportivedecisions in our head, which then create

calmer and safer feelings. This wisdom can only be obtained by learning about the Truths of

Life, and then making firm decisions to become aligned with what does work.

In fact the decision to align with Truth needs to outweigh all else. Because becoming aligned

with the Truth of Life creates your entire life authentically. Anything else will keep you

running around in complicated and painful circles in your head. By understanding the Rules

of Life we have the strategies right before we get on the court, rather than fumble around

(adding to our insecurities) as we go.

The interesting thing about the Rules of Life is theyre vibrationaltheyre not logical. This is

where weve been going wrong when weve been trying to work out how life works in our

head from a mass of data, rather than just aligning with the simplicity of Energetic Truth.

The Rules of Life operate in very clear and succinct ways that always produce results if you

follow the rules. These arent like the previous rules we attempted to follow, which often

didnt feel good, that made us feel worthless, not good enough and down trodden and


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controlled. The Laws of Life actually feel good, they feel like freedom and liberation; they

feel like comfort, safety and expansiveness.

Our ego argues with the Laws of Life and doesnt want to accept the ease and flow of theseLaws. Our ego tries to get us to stay in fear and force our will on life instead. It likes to retain

its fight because of the underlying dread that somehow it could lose out, might not get that

person or thing, and could end up broken, lonely and become one of the Have Nots. So of

course theres a need to use control in order to bend life to ones will, just in case this loss

occurred (the worst thatthe ego is constantly imagining). The bottom line is the ego thinks

its unworthy of lifes gifts.

By making life and others responsible for providing the commodities of safety, love and

acceptance, an individual will be disconnected from having any idea of how to provide these

vital foundations for themselves.

The sad irony is: The more people become disconnected from themselves and the worse

they treat themselves, the worse treatment theylll accept from life and other people as

their realityregardless of the fact theyproclaim they hate it!

Our ego despises the Laws of Life, because if an individual is integrated and their life

experience starts flowing lovingly, effortlessly and without fear, then the egos need to

control cant be activated, and the egosout of a job.

Therefore, dont be surprised if you feel resistance to the Laws of Life, and you might

experience fear and panic because embodying these Laws mean youre going to initially

feel like youre losing your grip on control.

The truth is: when you let go of the wheel and allow the bigger, greater and true part of you

to take over, youllhave more control than you previously thought possible in your wildest

dreams.

Why?


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Because youve finally come home to your Real Self, the place where everything lines up and

unfolds perfectly.

Now lets have a look at some vitalLaws of Life

The Laws of Life

Your body (feelings) is the connection to your impact on Life

Everything is created from your emotional vibrationif yourein a state of peace,

calm and knowing about something thenyoullpursue it, create it and attract it in a

succinct way that will add to even more feelings of wholeness and fulfillment.

Whats more youll love the journey just as much as the destination.

Conversely

Anything that you dont have peaceful, calm and knowing feelings about, will create

the anxiety of wanting it gone out of your life, or wanting it to come in to your life;

and either way youllhave limited ability to feel good about youuntil one of these

things happen. Any action you take will be propelled by fear or need and will create

sub-standard results that will not manifest as your expectations. If youre ina state

of agitation, fear, stress, emptiness or neediness then everything you go after is

either going to elude you, or what shows up is going to add more to your stressful

and incomplete state.

These two examples are the simple Law of what does work, and what doesnt work, and

no matter how much we thrash around trying to create pleasant results from anxiety, it just

doesntwork. Your ego loves to exercise the illusion of control. You have no control over

people and situations, and its this completefalsity that hooks your ego into play.


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When you can honestly say, Regardless of whathappens, or what he / she chooses to do

its not going to affect my ability to create my happy, purposeful life, then yourereleased

from trying to fix or get someone or something to be a certain way in order for your life to

work.

Your ego has no place to take hold when you stop judging others and their journey and

allow them to be whoever they need to be to work it out for themselves, and when you

focus on what it is that does represent the truth of your life.

Yes, offer assistance if its requested, but stop intruding in other peoples energy (and

getting all bent out of shape as a result), trying to change their life to your version of what

you think is right for them. If youre really honest with yourself, youlladmit that what

youve really attempting is to change their life to the version thatsright for you.

Know the difference between False Self and True Self

Your False Self is the part of you that youre tapping into every time you feel empty,

incomplete and anxious. Your False Self judges Life when something or someoneturns up that the False Self doesnt agree with.Rather than making calm

observations, the False Self gets emotionally triggered, takes it all very personally

and tries to bend things to its will.

Conversely

Your True Self is infinitely connected and knows that theres only perfection and

peace. Your True Self doesnt judgeit accepts everything that turns up in Life, and

easily knows how to position itself in the most effective way whilst operating in this

state of acceptance.

Your True Self knows when something isnt a match for it vibrationally; it knows it doesnt

feel good and leaves it alone like a toy youveoutgrownthat thing or person is not its

reality, and the True Self knows not to interfere, and that its own sense of self does not


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need to be affected by any situation or individual that isnt aligned. Your True Self has no

obsessive thoughts, angst, regrets, what ifs or needy feelings of loss when in alignment

with itself. Your True Self already feels fulfilled so why would it need to make something be

different in order to try to feel healthy?

Know the difference between resistance and acceptance

Resistance is a state of being in opposition to life, judging it and attempting to

control the uncontrollable. Just like trying to crash through the rocks in a river rather

than letting the water steer you clear of the jagged edges.

Conversely

Acceptance is the knowing that everything thats happening is for a perfect reason

and when youre your own source, you have no need to be attached to specific

outcomes or individuals.

People living in resistance are being beaten up by Life (Imseeing this more and more

increasingly with clients every day), and often failing to see theyre the cause of their own

pain. Lifesonly painful when you set yourself up in resistance to it. Life hurts only when

youre trying to make something thats not a match for your reality into becoming your

reality.

When yourein resistance to life, youve forgotten your unlimited ability to create your

truth in unlimited ways; youre trying to turn crumbsinto cookies by forcing something you

dont like into something you will like, which is a total impossibility when you dont allow it

to evolve (if it will) because youre trying to force it.

The more you focus on how wrong it is, the more youre going to receive how wrong it is,

and when in resistance to life, this stubborn lockingonto the negative focus and ensuing

battle sabotages letting go, setting and holding the truth of what you do want, non-

participation in what isntyour truth, and receiving your truth.


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Interestingly enough when we have no attachment to specific outcomes (that person or

thing has to work out), and just align ourselves in acceptance, we create all this beautiful

space for life to deliver. Maybe the thing that wasntworking out, all of a sudden steps up to

the plate, or maybe a new thing appears to take its place (one of either will happen), and

while this whole shift and outer creation is taking place were feeling good in the meantime,even before we see concrete results! Doesnt that feel better, and doesnt it sound

wonderful! Thats what acceptance brings!

Acceptance is of course determined by how effective you are or arent at being your own

source. That part of the equation is essential. If you dont have this foundation of self, youll

obsess about what life and others are or arentdoing in an attempt to gain your sense of

self, and default back into participating with second, third or a hundredth best.

It may seem that acceptance is apathetic or even lazy. I used to think this myself. I promise

you that when youre in acceptance, because youre not burning all the unnecessary energy

of stress and double guessing yourself (a bit like a racehorse wearing itself out before it

even starts the race), you have all this amazing energy to put into life. You feel free,

expansive, creative and fearless.

Because you feel so good youre naturallymotivated and energized. It gets really easy to not

engage in drama, and to just get on with productively creating a great life. If challenges

come up, you know what to do, and if you cant influence them, you continue with life

knowing that your vibration will deliver safe results, instead of worrying about all the

depressive what ifs.

Being in acceptance simplifies everything! Acceptance is the key to knowing and operating

in your True Self; and make no mistake your True Self epitomises creationbecause it iscreation.


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The necessity to go for calm

You can only create genuine results from your True Self and youll always create the stop /

start results (that keep you running around in circles) when youre operating in your False

Self.

At those times of agitation, confusion and arguing with yourself youre in False Self

operation; youre in anxiety and fear. Your head is controlled by your ego and propelled by

these fearslogic is trying to step in but having no lasting or effective results.

Logic is not effective at these times but higher consciousness is.

Higher consciousness knows: Because nothing can be created of value whilst operating in a

False Self state, the only constructive thing to do is to work directly on your vibration

(emotions). In other words the only thing to do is shift this feeling of anxiety to a feeling of

calm, and this needs to occur before doing absolutely anything else.

By doing so, we can get out of the fight in our head and access wisdom. Wisdom is about

creating an effective connection to life, and the only doorway to life is through ourselves.

So truly,wisdom is about creating an effective connection to self, and then the emotional

fears and mind arguments cease.

Wevenever been taught to really deal with ourselves in times of agitation and stress. We

havent understood the necessity to emotionally manage and support ourselvesweve allbeen taught to judge ourselves harshly (when we do spend time being with ourselves), and

because being with ourselves feels so rotten, weve been conditioned to reachfor

distractions to escape ourselves as often as possible.

Because werealready in a distorted vibration, its really no surprise that wevecreated

unhealthy habits to escape ourselves, such as dumping our anger and confusion on others,

going after comfort and safety from people who arent safeand comforting people, and

reaching for addictions and other similarly self-destructive pastimes.


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Any of these things may provide temporary distractions, and maybe even some numbing

relief, but the problem is we continue to struggle, argue with ourselves and endure a painful

life. All of the traumatic cycles continue.

Establishing a Wise Self

It is our Wise Self whosgoing to lead our fearful self out of the dark, and override the

confusion and argument going on between our head and our emotions. This Wise Self is like

a powerful governor of truth, and you have to become this wisdom to yourself. Other

people can help you get therefor example I may be assisting you by offering the eBooks

and the services that I do, but ultimately being with yourself is your jobits no one elses.

This is why I profess and recommend journaling, and my journaling eCourses. Youve got to

learn to be with you, get to know you and want to start listening to and supporting yourself.

You can establish and create the part of you that you know will be strong, gentle, and

reliableenough to step up to the plate when the going gets tough, which it willbecause

the truth is: life and others are predictably unpredictable.

Be very clear, youre not going to feel anchored, peaceful feelings before you establish and

employ this support to self. Just like exercise, dieting or motivation, its impossible to reap

the benefits of these things until we do what it takes to get the results.

The processing of selfstarts with constantly bringing yourself into thoughts of truth,because these thoughts will then set off the chain of events to create your experience of

empowered peace.

Creating a Wise Self is about having values and an inner identity.

Our identity is often the label that we wear in life. For example being a mother or a

bookkeeper or thin or tall or any other aesthetic quality or title. We may put these labels


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on ourself and closely identify with them, or we may feel labelled and controlled by society,

but the higher truth is: labels on our self and from society have no control over the inner

identity that we can choose to establish.

Outer labels do not correspond with characterwhich is trueidentity. Outer labels are often

products of ego, and are not products of our True Self, yet they can be extensions of our

True Self, if they arein alignment with inner truth and are not simply being used as

substitutes (personas and masks) for a lack of inner foundation.

Our inner identity (character) cannot be distinguished by the physical eye, as its not

physically tangible. In fact theresno creation point (the energythat created anything) that

canbe physically recognised.

Inner values are not subject to trends, approval, fads, or any distractions whatsoever. They

just are. They are the foundations to build the reality and the freedom of your authentic life.

Our inner values create our true identity. They are values and aspects of ourselves that can

be rock solid; they give us strength and security, and we know that by upholding thesevalues we can be safe within ourselves, regardlessof what life and other people are or

arent doing. By upholding these values we experience positivity, purpose and fullness,

because no longer are we manipulated and swayed by aspects of life and individuals that

dont represent our truth.

We know that by thinking, speaking and walking these values, we experience wonderful

manifestation results because our vibration is no longer wishy washy, we know who we are,

and that who we are is the attraction point which attracts the very things that we wish to

line up with and experience as reality in our life.

Life is fascinating because it offers so many comparisons; we have a kaleidoscope of

everything to choose from. Our feelings tell us whether or not certain things are

preferable. If theyre not good for us they feel bad, disappointing and even heart breaking;

yet why do we keep going back for more?


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The answer is simple. We dont have firm values that we truly understand and backup (or

know the reasons why we need to), and because we live in the fear, anxiety and neediness

of being unaligned with truth, our egos are in control and we roll around with less than

things that were trying to fix andchange in an attempt to make them easier to be with,

whilst getting broken and damaged in the process.

And even when these things hurt horrifically, we hang on because we have no idea that

something better could turn up in our lives (and at that point in time thats true because

were certainly not creating it). These are the times of monumental battles between our

emotions and our logic. We know we shouldnt be feeling this pain, doing this thing or

putting up with this treatment, yet we cant stop ourselves participating.

When we start aligning with inner values, all of this changes, and our tormented logic can

become wise and calm logic. When we have our wise and calm inner teacher activated, we

start looking after ourselves much better.

A simple Law of Life states Whatever you participate in is what you become.Most of us

have heard the expression If you lie with dogs you get fleas. In identical ways, if you argue

with drivers who cut you off on the road, youll continue to get drivers that cut you off on

the road, if you fight with a partner whos treating you badly, youllcontinue to experience

being treated badly, if you try desperately to get someones love and validation when

theyre not loving you and validating you, youre certainly going to continue receiving their

criticism and rejection.

A Wise Self knows that to create values is to decide your truth and then participate with

what it is that you do want, and refuse to waste your energy on what it is that you dont

want.

The confusion often lies in: how to know the difference, and how to define the grey areas of

what is right and what isnt rightfor you. This can only be ascertained by being present and

listening to your feelings. Theylltell you what is right and wrong for you, and when youre

feeling that somethings not right, this is the time to be honest and direct about what it is

that youdlike to clarify, or what your truth on the matter is.


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This may seem pushy and combative, but itsthe exact opposite. Youre being honest rather

than projecting, blaming, using defence mechanisms, avoidance or withdrawal tactics or

other similarly destructive methods that are leading you away from solutions rather than

towards them. These ineffectual tactics create life and other individuals as the enemy, and

its very useful to understand that no enemyis going to meet your needs. (Why wouldthey?)

Laying effective boundaries doesnt create demands, it commandshonesty and respect for

the situation, and no one and nothing else needs be attacked or condemned in the process.

Because youre ascertaining the situation from your truth rather than judging, blaming or

holding someone or something else responsible for your truth, you create a space of

acceptance of allowing that person or situation to be where theyre at, and this space

allows them to move up and meet your truth if they have the resources to do so.

Effective boundaries offer the best possible path to create communion with life and others;

they dontalienate and separate from them. If separation is necessary because this person

or thing isnt your truth, then acceptance and peace can still be applied. It doesnt matter.

Why not? Because youll create your truth regardless, and theyre free to live their truth

without you trying to force them into one that they dont want to or cant accept.

Boundary function is probably the mostimportant practical wisdom to learn, and

unfortunately none of us were educated in regard to boundary function (most of us have to

discover awareness the hard way). So I urge you, if you feel you need to learn more about

boundaries, to purchase my eBook How to Create and Implement Healthy Boundary

Function and youll then understand what boundaries are, and how to use them to create

your Real Life. Effective boundaries change everythingon an inner and outer level.

The human ego always wants to jump in, judge, fight with and change something into being

right for us and making us happy. Our ego holds outer life responsible.By putting energy or

focus on something that isnt serving us only hooks it up and creates more of the same pain.

And it feels shocking! Why does it feel shockingbecause its not truth! Truth feels warm,

expansive and right.


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You may have noticed in cases when youve had enough of the fight, and detach and focus

on something that is healthy for you it feels like relief. Thats your internal guidance system

(your feelings) telling youthats much better, youre back on track now!

The Wise Self knows were the only being responsible for creating our own life, and by

taking that responsibility on were genuinely empowered (by no longer waiting for life and

others to get their act together), and are finally free to be our authentic self.

Wisdom means: stop fighting with the things that arent working, state your truth calmly

and pull away for them and focus on the things that you do want to work.

The difference between egoic reactions and wise responses

Lets imagine yourea Wise Self asking yourself whatswrong and assuring yourself that

youre present in order to offer support and guidance.

Imagine the fearful self saying Anthonyrejected me. I thought he was in love with me and

we had a future together but he told me hes not sure what he wants and he doesnt know

if he wants a relationship with me anymore.

The egoic self is absolutelypanicking. It wants to chase after Anthony, and also has manic

feelings of wanting to ring up ex-boyfriends. To get even with Anthony, or to get some

comfort or attention? Its really not sure maybe its a mixture of the two.

If the Wise Self wasnt present at the timeto offer support, the begging or / hooking back

into unhealthy past relationships could occur. Both of these destructive decisions would

strip away an already diminished self-esteemtheres no up-side to these actions at all.

Without a Wise Self being present, the small niggling feeling in the gut proclaiming You

know thatllonly make things hurt more; would get lost in the frantic force of the egoic


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fears which are pining for instant gratification and an escape from the pain now,with little

or no regard for consequences.

The Wise Self is fully anchored in the understanding of Energetic Law and knowsthat anydecisions made from a place of neediness and fear are destructive and self-defeating. The

Wise Self knows that at the time of pain, rather than disconnecting from self, thus creating

more pain, the only authentic option is to remain with self and bless and accept the

opportunity to love and support self (which is the true creation pointfor creating and

attracting support from life and other people).

The Wise Self knows that during the time of anxiety and stress the only mission is to be

present with self in order to bring the emotions back to a stable place.

The Wise Self knows that this is the responsibility of self, and only self can provide this

authentically (if the support comes from the outside only, then self will have to come

back to this painful dance over and over again), and itsno-one elses job and certainly not

Anthonysor any of the ex-boyfriends.

The Wise Self knows theres a lot of pain and anxiety on the topic of abandonment, and

the fear of being single, and those are the real issues that require attention and support

and that Anthony is another self-created catalyst to show up these issues, so that they

may ultimately be healed.

By being this Wise Self to ourselves wereimmediately with ourselfin order to do

something about our fears and insecurities rather than seeking fruitlessly to have them

cleaned up by other individuals.

The later (unfortunately common) strategy will only keep us going through the same pain

and confusion, with the arguments in our head having little effect in regard to controlling

our fear driven emotions. Itsnot until we have control over our emotions that we can stop

playing out these repeat patterns. The control is never established with self-gratifying

diversions, self-condemnations and logical arguments. It can only be established through

self-loving support.


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When wereempowered and unlimited we can hold our own energy, and know theres no

need to participate with anyone or anything that diminishes us. The fact that we havent

pulled away and created our own truth means that we havent as yet dealt with our

insecurities.

It looked like the dysfunction was going on outside of ourselves, but the absolute truth is,

we were fighting within; the split between wanting something better, and not thinking that

we had the resources to create it. The outside pieces were only reflecting our own internal

struggles.

An essential part of becoming a Wise Self requires understanding Energetic Law.

A Wise Self knows:

If yourecalm and aligned everything that you want to create is totally possible.

Managing self is always the first step, because everything that you create comes

from self.

No one on the outside is responsible for providing you with what you wantits your

job to feel full and content no matter what you do or dont have now.

When you feel full and content now,you can reach forth and create morefrom a

place of inspiration, rather than need, and this feels good, meaning the creation will

add to who you are, rather than take you down further.

Theresno possibility of changing anything in your life if you keep focused on and

participating in the realities you dont want.

Itswell worth working on, and improving self because self is where itsall taking

place and theres actually no other place to work on.


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Check in with yourself and see how being present with yourself feels. Maybe youve been on

a personal journey for a while, and maybe you havent. If you havent, this concept may feel

really weirdbeing present with yourself; what does this mean?

Im sure, you can imagine being present with someone else when they require comfort. You

know how it feels to hold and comfort someone you care for in times of their distress. Now

you need to translate that action to yourself, and know that the entire creation of your

potentially brilliant and spectacular life depends on it.

By using the foundation of wisdom, you have the knowing that right here, right now in this

moment of anxiety, your greatest mission to yourself, others and all of life is to take

responsibility for your own emotional vibration.This is the only goal. The goal being to

change your feelings from anxiety into warmth, comfort and safety. These are the feelings

of acceptance.

The first step is to bless and accept the feeling, and I mean that literally. A great mantra to

say is I bless and accept this feeling. Its my feeling and I accept responsibility for it now.

Immediately your vibration has changed from the triggered reaction of resistance into an

open acceptance. You are now in your True Self function and open to the expansive solution

based resources of self and Life to evolve, grow and become even more solid, expansive and

empowered as a result of the interaction youre having with yourself.

You see, theresnothing occurring to you (not even bad feelings), that isnt offering you the

highest path to become even more of who you are. All of these incidents are a springboard

towards a greater you and a greater lifeand up till now you may have been running away

from these opportunities.

In fact until you become in the flow of life (where these anxieties will end up being like tiny

blips on your radar), you require these incidences to access your True Self. These anxieties

are all pointing you in the right direction, and its vitalyou dont allow your avoidance

strategies propelled by your ego to escape these times. If you do theyre only going to

present over and over again.


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When youre in acceptance, youll embrace the anxiety and take responsibility for it. This

automatically activates your loving and supportive self, rather than the condemning self that

sabotages the evolution experience thats beingpresented.

Say to yourself (Your Name) Im here with you, Im supportingyou, youre doing a great job

or any other self-supportive, encouraging and beautiful thought you can tell yourself.

Its really important not to focus on the problem or anything on the outsideat this point.

Use this sacred time to just be present with yourself and dont bring anything from the

outside into the equation yet.

Dont try to solve anything until you feel that beautiful connection with yourself, that is until

you feel safe and supporting; no matter how much the anxiety of your ego tries to force you

into the problem.

When you feel this connection to yourself, youllmove to the next level of wisdom which is:

All of this is happening for a perfect reason, and Im safe because everything is unfolding in

perfect and divine order.

These thoughts are truth and they set you free, because once the anxiety is relieved, youll

know your position in all of it. Yourenow open to infinite solutions (access to all of the

information in life, because you are Life).

In this vibration (emotional) foundation youll know whether or not this was just a trigger of

your own insecurity and therefore not a real problem, or, if a solution is required itllcome

to you naturally and easily. If the problem is uncontrollable, youll know that its out of yourcontrol, and regardless of the outcome, your life is solid and filled with well-being anyway.

Youllalso experience the miraculous phenomena of issues magically sorting themselves

out, and falling into place without you having to do anything. What you mightnt have

realised, is that by holding acceptance and calm, you gave the bigger part of you (thats

energetically connected to all of life) the ability to interact with life and create all the

solutions for you.


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This is truly what it means to be at one with self and at one with life.

This may seem a quantum leap initially, but is actually ridiculously simple. If your ego is very

energised (I can relate because mine used to be), and its too hard to drop control, then itcan be very useful to journal (Im a big fan of journaling).

Sometimes it can be difficult to control thoughts especially when our anxiety has grabbed

hold. Putting pen to paper in a journal is a way to close the ego out and focus on self. It also

helps get clear a lot like writing out a shopping list as opposed to trying to have it in your

head amongst another hundred thoughts.

The necessity to trust

Theres no necessity to trust life, the solution has always been to trust yourself.

How can you trust life and others when youve never learnt to be present with and trust

yourself? The answer is simple: You cant.

What is trust? It means trusting someone or something to be reliable, be present and to

have our best interests at heart. Can you say that about the way you treat yourself? If you

have major distrust issues, the truth is youre disconnected from yourself.

The more you employ your Wise Self to be present, loving and supportive the more youlltrust yourself. Youll be intimate and connected with yourself, andas a result, youll have

the ability to be intimate and connected to others. This comes only from opening up,

sharing, and risking vulnerability.

One of the best exercises that you can ever undergo to trust yourself, is to admit your

vulnerabilities to yourself, take off your defences and know that you can be present with

yourself lovingly during these times. This is one of the beautiful experiences of journaling, as


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Work at it, because when it all clicks into place for you, youll be amazed and delighted at

how simpleit is to be an aligned being, and youll realize how complicated life was when you

werent.

Much love

Melanie


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The Journey to Empowerment

I know how much my life has changed as a result offinding and applying the truth,and I

want to share how toheal authentically with you. So far the results of my mission andpassion have changed and saved my own life and other peoples - emotionally and literally.

It is a needless waste of life, love and happiness when any of us live painful experiences,

because it is notthe truth of what we can and should be living.

I have created a healing system called Melanies Journey to Empowermentbecause I am

passionate about helping people become who they truly are.

My Journey to Empowerment provides you with the step-by-step formula to clearly identify

your painful beliefs and vibrations, and then grants you the solutions to become your True

Self.
http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/journeytoempowerment.htm

how to align your emotions with logic

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