Did you find your way in off the ledge? Or are you staying out there just a little longer, just in case tonight goes balls-up? We woulnd’t blame you if you did, but it would take a stubborn one indeed to say the ship isn’t turning around. We all had chewed our fingernails off when this homestand started. The season had every chance of turning into a mess only W. Bush could create. But so far, the Hawks have come up trumps. They’ve gotten better each game, with the biggest one looming tonight. We asked for eight points in this stretch, and the Hawks have seven. Tonight will deter-mine if this will be a mildly disappointg-to-ok homestand, or lifting-your-glass-at-the-bar-in-a-toast-to-the-Hawks-satisfying of one.The Keg Is Tapped There were a few things that we were delighted to see on Friday night. The leading facet was the way the Hawks crashed Martin Brodeur’s net as if it had been announced that there was free beer in the crease. Countless times the Hawks had multiple players right in Brodeur’s mug. This opens up so many things for the Hawks. It gives their d-men space and opportunity to let loose, and the Hawks carry more than a couple blue-liners who have scuds from the point. With the defense col-lapsing, it also gives more space to the Hawks’ creative wingers to make something happen. Notice Havlat having another mutant perfor-mance, and Versteeg as well. Prime example is how Versteeg was allowed to walk out from the corner to open the scoring. Another is just how physical the Hawks were, despite the various drunken frat-douches complaining that the Hawks weren’t hitting enough (luckily, most of the tools were passed out or vomiting by the 10-min-ute mark in the 3rd, leaving the rest of us to enjoy the game). The Devils are not a bunch of daisies who want to discuss Sex And The City. Especially when the game was reduced to one referee, leaving lots of goofiness to go on behind the play. The Hawks did not shrink, and in fact, brought it to the Devils. Most of all, we’ve heard enough complaints that the Hawks struggle with the type of game played in the spring. They have at times, but they’re certainly not incapable of thriving in them, too. Friday night was the perfect example of that. Khabby was only re-quired to make a couple big saves, and finally a Hawks’ goalie made those saves. But for the most part, Mssrs. Parise, Elias, Zajac, and Lan-genbrunner were rendered anonymous, with only a deflected goal to show for their work.

Objects In Mirror Are Wearing Hid-eous Uniforms Only the Whale should be allowed to combine blue and green! Anyway, this evening’s contest is, arguably, the biggest game at the UC in years. Judging by the way we’ve been shaking since last night, it makes a pretty strong case for that title. Tonight will not decide anything. A win, and the Hawks will have a four point lead with a game in hand, but that’s no sure thing -- the Hawks pissed away a much bigger gap than that already. But it would be a a better position to be in than tied (none of this may matter if Calgary continues to back up like us when we hear the words “commitment” or “paternity suit”). The Canucks tale is one similar to the Devils -- though with a lot more Swedes -- in that they are a very different proposi-tion away from British Pot-Is-Legal-Here-bia. They’re 2-3-1 in their last six in the white uniforms. This is #5 of a six-game roadtrip for them, and they’ve split the first four. They were abysmal against Phoenix to start the trip, you probably saw the goal they scored on themselves during a delayed penalty. They were just good enough in a win against Dallas, and got completely outworked in losing to the Blues (though that seems to be happening to a lot of teams recently). From all accounts, they didn’t bother to show up until the last 30 minutes in Colorado, but still came out with a 4-1 win.

Also like the Devils, any analysis of the Canucks begins in net. Though he looks like a wine-cooler drinking asshat, Roberto Luongo is one of the tougher nuts to crack around. Since his return from injury, he’s gone 17-6-4, and is boasting a SV% of about .910 in that time. Just like Friday, the Hawks had better be all up his grill, yo. On the other end of the ice, there’s the Sedin twins, who lead the Canucks in scoring, as always. Yet, they always give you the impression that they can be taken out of a game, if need be. In the first two games between the two this year -- both Hawks wins -- the Children of The Corn managed only three points between them (we won’t mention that overturned clown car of a game in Febru-ary). There’s also prostitute Mats Sundin and his cane, but if enough people in the crowd sign up to Pokerstars.net on their Iphones during the game, he’ll be too distracted. It’s Ryan Kesler and Alex Burrows who make this team tick (more on them inside) and you’ll know them well tonight. Beep Beep Though a win doesn’t end the dis-cussion for home-ice, it makes a pretty good argument. Four points up with eight to play, meaning that a .500 finish would require the Canucks to go 5-0-2 in their last seven to catch the Hawks. So win this tonight, and our sphincters can really relax. And really, who doesn’t want a relaxed sphincter?

-Happy Birthday, Shankar

Hey Teacher, We Brought Our Pencil...Give Us Something To Write On, Man

committedindian@gmail.comMarch 29th, 2009

The Committed Indian

The REal Fan’s Program

WELCOME BACK INSIDE

$3

secondcityhockey.com

$3

There is no feeling like the day of an important hockey game. There’s a charge in the air, the jitters all day are unbearable. It feels like you’re spending all day waiting for the chance to ask out the hot chick at school. You know it’s going to be a torturous process getting to the moment, and the moment itself will be an uncomfortable ride (though what you’re after is a very comfortable ride). And you know that when it’s over, you’ll either be elated (so I hear) or devestated. Baseball has too many games in its season to have a truly big regular season game. Football having only 16 pretty much means every game is important, so thus none stick out. Basketball can have them, but the nature of the sport, in my opinion, means nothing of any con-sequence happens before the second half (you might suggest that a team jumping out a 20-point lead in the 1st quarter is of consequence, but ask the Lakers how that worked out for them in Game 4 of last year’s Finals). This is yet another reason why being a hockey fan rules. I hope this contest lives up to its billing. Based on the last two home games, it looks likely. I also have to say that if this is what April hockey is like, I may not make it past Game 3 of the first round. Maybe I should do yoga, or something. The stress is getting to be

too much. -I have something I’d like to address to the few (they’re there though, believe me) female readers we have. One of the more an-noying sights that cross in front of my eyes is the strange phenom-

ena of pink sports gear. You’ll see one or two pink Hawks jerseys on girls at the UC, but you can see these at any stadium. Ladies, if you’re over 12 years old, this is unacceptable. Any guy will tell you that there’s nothing as sexy as a woman in a real Hawks jersey. It’s just a pain-fully alluring look. Most of all, all girls I know, and any girl with a semblance of attitude, hate pink sportswear. I’m sure the members of the fairer sex who read this will agree with me, so consider this playing to the crowd. -From my post at Gate 3, I had the unfortunate undertaking of watching Dan Akroyd’s entrance into the building Friday night. Dan Akroyd?

Pimping some vodka he’s loosely involved with? This is what constitutes a celebrity sighting around here? People, he was Louis Winthorpe 26 years ago! Elwood was 29! What are we hanging on to here? The Blues Brothers’ clips on the scoreboard during timeouts were ridiculous. What about clips from “My Girl?” That would be more indicative of his career, I think.

FROM THE EDITOR

Sam Fels

NHL STANDINGS

W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY

1 Boston 47 17 10 104 250 176 25-6-6 22-11-4 2 Washington 46 23 7 99 245 222 27-9-2 19-14-5 3 New Jersey 47 24 4 98 228 186 26-11-1 21-13-3 4 Philadelphia 41 23 10 92 239 213 22-11-4 19-12-6 5 Carolina 42 28 7 91 220 214 23-13-1 19-15-6 6 Pittsburgh 41 27 8 90 239 225 23-13-3 18-14-5 7 NY Rangers 39 28 9 87 196 208 23-11-4 16-17-5 8 Montreal 38 27 10 86 226 229 23-8-7 15-19-3 9 Florida 37 28 11 85 213 216 19-11-7 18-17-4 10 Buffalo 37 30 8 82 226 217 22-13-3 15-17-5 11 Toronto 31 32 13 75 230 271 14-14-9 17-18-4 12 Ottawa 32 32 10 74 197 215 20-12-6 12-20-4 13 e-Atlanta 32 38 6 70 237 262 16-19-2 16-19-4 14 e-Tampa

Bay 24 34 17 65 196 249 12-15-11 12-19-6

15 e-NY Island-ers

25 41 9 59 189 244 16-15-6 9-26-3

W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY 1 San Jose 48 15 11 107 240 185 30-3-4 18-12-7 2 Bile 49 17 9 107 276 221 26-6-4 23-11-5 3 Calgary 43 26 6 92 241 230 25-9-4 18-17-2 4 HAWKS 40 22 11 91 242 198 21-8-7 19-14-4 5 Vancouver 40 25 9 89 225 203 22-11-4 18-14-5 6 Columbus 39 28 8 86 210 206 24-11-2 15-17-6 7 Nashville 37 30 8 82 192 206 23-12-4 14-18-4 8 Edmonton 36 30 9 81 216 228 16-13-6 20-17-3 9 St. Louis 36 30 9 81 209 217 22-13-5 14-17-4 10 Anaheim 37 32 6 80 215 216 18-17-3 19-15-3 11 Minnesota 35 32 8 78 192 185 20-11-6 15-21-2 12 Dallas 33 33 9 75 209 234 19-15-5 14-18-4 13 Los Angeles 31 33 11 73 191 219 16-14-8 15-19-3 14 Phoenix 31 36 7 69 184 227 20-14-3 11-22-4 15 e-Colorado 31 42 2 64 192 243 18-19-0 13-23-2

PUCK DROP

Eastern Conference Western Conference

TOP 10 LIST

Top 10 Chicago Celebrities Who Annoy Us10. Dan Akroyd- You made a 2nd Blues Brothers movie. You sir, are going to hell.9. Billy Corgan- The only two good albums you made were 15 years ago. You’ve been whining ever since. 8. Ron Santo- Oh, you love the Cubs so much? So do millions, and at least some of them can complete a coherent sentence7. Jeremy Piven- Yeah, he’s not really acting on Entourage. He’s just that big of a douche6. John Cusack- Thanks, now every guy has had a girl make him watch Say Anything, asshole5. Mike Ditka- Seriously, you weren’t a very good coach. Really, you weren’t.4. Oprah-...actually, scratch this, she might have us killed.3. Mike North- In North’s world, no one in Chicago has an IQ over 782. Rod Blagojevich- Go to jail already!1. Jim Belushi- Simply the Anti-Christ

*late game not included

This is clearly what the Canucks’ logo should have been. Does any team in any sports have a worse track record of uniforms? Perhaps the San Diego Padres, but at least theirs told you what they were. The Canucks original jersey, the stick and puck, gave you no indication as to what their nickname was or where they plied their trade. Then came the affront-to-the-Lord V-Chest, followed by yellow skate that looked like vomit. Following that was the somewhat-acceptable Black and Gold. However, that was replaced by Shamu. Man, must the weed be good in BC to make those jerseys pleasing to the eye. No wonder they made it legal. Fuck, they should make it mandatory.

teams that have clinched playoff berth in italicsteams that have clinched division in bold italics

Chicago Blackhawks 40-22-11

# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary (Cap Hit)

24 R The Perfect Beard 6' 2" 217 27 72 26 42 68 25 24 5 0 5 222 11.7 $6,000,000

88 R Patrick Kane 5' 10" 187 20 71 24 40 64 -7 40 13 0 3 233 10.3 $3,725,000

19 C Captain Marvel 6' 2" 209 20 73 30 33 63 7 49 12 0 6 178 16.9 $2,800,000

32 L VerStud 5' 10" 180 22 70 21 29 50 13 55 6 4 2 126 16.7 $491,667

51 D Brian Campbell 6' 0" 188 29 73 7 39 46 -2 20 4 0 1 98 7.1 $7,142,875

36 C Dave Bolland 6' 0" 188 22 73 17 28 45 21 44 1 2 4 103 16.5 $845,833

16 L Andrew Ladd 6' 2" 198 23 73 13 29 42 24 26 0 0 1 174 7.5 $1,550,000

10 L The Sharp-Shooter 6' 1" 197 27 57 25 17 42 4 39 9 0 4 173 14.5 $3,900,000

2 D Duncan Keith 6' 1" 194 25 69 8 34 42 32 44 2 1 1 158 5.1 $1,475,000

25 D Cam Barker 6' 3" 213 22 59 6 34 40 -6 53 5 0 1 86 7 $2,768,587

33 R Dustin Byfuglien 6' 3" 247 23 68 13 13 26 3 75 3 0 3 181 7.2 $3,000,000

22 R Troy Brouwer 6' 2" 213 23 64 10 16 26 7 50 4 1 0 123 8.1 $675,000

7 D Brent Seabrook 6' 3" 220 23 73 7 16 23 22 60 2 1 1 116 6 $3,500,000

46 C Colin Fraser 6' 1" 188 23 73 5 11 16 3 53 0 0 0 59 8.5 $500,000

26 C Samuel Pahlsson 6' 0" 204 31 57 5 10 15 -20 34 1 0 1 80 6.3 $301,000

55 L Ben Eager 6' 2" 220 24 66 10 4 14 3 139 0 0 0 69 14.5 $568,000

8 D Matt Walker 6' 3" 214 28 58 1 13 14 5 75 0 0 0 78 1.3 $600,000

37 R Adam Burish 6' 1" 189 26 57 6 3 9 4 73 0 0 2 76 7.9 $712,500

23 D Aaron Johnson 6' 1" 211 25 32 3 5 8 20 24 0 0 1 25 12 $600,000

4 D Niklas Hjalmarsson 6' 2" 200 21 12 0 1 1 -2 0 0 0 0 8 0 $643,000

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary

39 Nikolai Khabibulin 6' 1" 209 36 35 2041 2.50 20 7 6 1 1023 85 .917 0 2 8 $6,750,000

38 Cristobal Huet 6' 1" 205 33 39 2231 2.5 19 14 4 3 1031 93 0.910 0 0 2 $5,625,000

Totals/Averages 6'1" 207 35 2.63 40 22 11 4 29.0/g 192 0.909 0 2 10 $12,375,000

TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $57,283,000

CAP SPACE: $274,000**space also affected by buyouts and injured players

16 years ago, David Stern sent me to ruin the NHL. I have done every-thing I can think of to drive the core

fan away, strip hockey of all that’s great about it, and eliminate any at-tention by the mainstream media...

I am so close to completing the task Stern charged me with....

*injured

Injury ListBrent Sopel- Out (Talent)Matt Walker- Questionable (Idiocy)

Probable LinesLeft Wing Center Right Wing

22 Brouwer 19 Toews 10 Sharp16 Ladd 36 Bolland 24 Havlat

32 Versteeg 26 Pahlsson 88 Kane55 Eager 46 Fraser 33 Byfuglien

Probable Pairings2 Keith 7 Seabrook

51 Campbell 4 Hjalmarsson23 Johnson 25 Barker

Totals/Averages 6’ 1” 202.5 24.4 238 418 14.2/g 68 9 33.4/g 9.9% $44,607,000

Get this mook off the point on the power play. Now. Yes, Buff has a big shot. But Buff’s big shot is like the female orgasm; it’s great when it happens, but far too much has to be done and has to go right to cause one to consistently count on it. (Cheers, UC Smoking Crew) Quick, name one other player in the league who skates on a team’s 4th line but plays the point on the PP. Don’t worry, we’ll wait...

Signhimnowsignhimnowsignhimnowsignhimnowsignhimnowsignhimnow.

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# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary (Cap Hit)

22 R Daniel Sedin 6' 1" 185 28 74 28 45 73 19 32 8 0 6 249 11.2 $3,575,000

33 C Henrik Sedin 6' 2" 190 28 74 18 54 72 16 40 4 0 6 129 14 $3,575,000

17 C Ryan Kesler "A" 6' 2" 205 24 74 23 31 54 10 50 8 2 1 166 13.9 $1,750,000

38 R Pavol Demitra 6' 0" 200 34 61 18 31 49 9 20 3 0 1 124 14.5 $4,000,000

14 L Alexandre Burrows 6' 1" 190 27 74 25 19 44 18 130 0 4 3 159 15.7 $483,000

3 D Kevin Bieksa 6' 0" 205 27 65 11 30 41 -4 78 5 0 2 141 7.8 $3,750,000

23 D Alexander Edler 6' 3" 220 22 72 10 23 33 9 52 5 0 1 136 7.4 $550,000

18 R Steve Bernier 6' 2" 225 23 73 15 16 31 4 27 2 0 4 129 11.6 $2,500,000

42 C Kyle Wellwood 5' 10" 180 25 66 16 9 25 4 2 9 0 3 82 19.5 $987,000

13 C Mats Sundin 6' 5" 231 38 33 9 14 23 -4 26 5 0 2 63 14.3 $5,363,000

21 L Mason Raymond 6' 0" 182 23 66 10 12 22 3 24 4 0 0 138 7.2 $883,000

8 D Willie Mitchell "A" 6' 3" 210 31 74 3 19 22 31 57 0 0 1 79 3.8 $3,500,000

6 D Sami Salo 6' 3" 215 34 52 5 17 22 8 24 5 0 2 95 5.3 $3,500,000

2 R Mattias Ohlund "A" 6' 3" 220 32 74 4 18 22 11 99 2 0 0 119 3.4 $3,500,000

36 R Jannik Hansen 6' 1" 201 23 54 6 15 21 7 37 0 0 1 64 9.4 $500,000

9 L Taylor Pyatt 6' 4" 230 27 66 10 8 18 0 43 0 0 1 97 10.3 $1,575,000

5 D Ossi Vaananen 6' 4" 215 28 48 1 10 11 8 22 0 0 0 19 5.3 $242,000

55 D Shane O'Brien 6' 3" 224 25 69 0 10 10 3 170 0 0 0 35 0 $950,000

10 C Ryan Johnson 6' 1" 202 32 54 2 6 8 2 10 0 0 1 22 9.1 $1,150,000

24 R Darcy Hordichuk 6' 1" 215 28 66 4 1 5 2 102 0 0 0 24 16.7 $750,000

37 D Rick Rypien ** 5' 11" 170 24 5 2 0 2 -1 7 0 1 0 3 66.7 $522,000

4 D Rob Davison 6' 3" 220 28 23 0 2 2 -4 51 0 0 0 15 0 $560,000

...IS THIS THE YEAR?

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary

1 Roberto Luongo "C" 6' 3" 205 29 46 2692 2.43 28 11 6 6 1311 109 0.917 0 1 4 $6,750,000

30 Jason LaBarbera 6' 3" 225 29 28 1447 2.78 8 10 6 2 675 67 0.901 0 0 2 $461,000

Totals/Averages 6' 3" 215 29 2.66 40 25 9 7 29.2/g 197 .909 0 1 6 $7,211,000

TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $53,858,000

CAP SPACE: $2,852,000

*space also affected by buyouts and injured players

Van Cooter and Schmucks 40-25-9

* injured

Injury ListRick Rypien- Out (personal?)

Probable LinesLeft Wing Center Right Wing

14 Burrows 33 H. Sedin 22 D. Sedin17 Kesler 13 Sundin 38 Demitra9 Pyatt 42 Wellwood 18 Bernier

21 Raymond 10 Johnson 36 Hansen

Probable Pairings2 Ohlund 23 Edler

6 Salo 8 Mitchell3 Bieksa 55 O’Brien

Totals/Averages 6' 2" 206.1 27.7 222 390 16.5 61 7 28.5/g 10.5% $45,038,000

The Canucks are 4th-worst in penalties-per-gam

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ost of his penalties have been of the lazy-ass, offensive zone calls.

The Canucks average getting outshot every game, which doesn’t seem to be a path to long-term success.

Here’s a guy just good enough to break your heart. You’ll see the size, and a flash of skill, and then wait and wait and wait. Two teams have given up on him, but he’s only 23, and the light can still go on.

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With the home schedule coming to an end, we thought we’d rerun some of our favorite Page 6’s from our first year, for those who missed them or those who can enjoy them again. Oh, and we’re lazy fucks. Anyway, we’ve never

bought into the saying, “Never kick a man when he’s down.” After all, when they’re down, they’re that much closer to your foot. So with that in mind, we present...

An Exclusive Interview with Bill wirtz from Hell

Q: So Bill, how’s life in the flame treating you?

A: Oh it’s all beach chairs and Mai Tai’s! What do you think it’s like, fuckstick? The beer’s watered down, there’s no gin because of some dispute with a distributor apparent-ly. There’s absolutely nothing on TV, there’s an inch of water on my bathroom floor at all times, and if I go anywhere I have to pay $20 to park. Who could live under these condi-tions?

Q: Yes, who indeed? Anyway, what have you made of your son Rocky’s stewardship of the Hawks?

A: You know the saying, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,”? Why isn’t there one about the apple falling off and then kick-ing the tree in his drunken, wrinkled, saggy nuts? He’s pissed on my legacy so much I smell like urine down here. Games on TV, full building, Foley back in the booth, it never ends. Bringing back Hull and that ri-diculous wig? Why would you want someone who wears a deflated football on his head to represent your organization? Answer me that.

Q: Well, surely you must appreciate that will all his moves the Blackhawks have be-come a profitable organization again, and Rocky’s making lots of money.

A: The only thing better than people hap-pily giving you something is people unhap-pily giving you something. That applies to anything. Money, gifts, respect, blowjobs, they’re all better that way. Makes you feel like an emperor. I thought I made him harder than that when he was a child and I broke all of his toys.

A: Fuck no. I understand the need to make changes. Sometimes I’d drink whiskey instead of gin. I get that. But putting Pully out to pasture? That man was loyal like a dog. Sure, he also smelled like a dog, looked like a dog, drooled like a dog, GM’ed the team like a dog, and knew as much about hockey as a dog, but still...

Q: Wow. Didn’t know you would be so angry. Is that all?

Q: I guess the team’s improved perfor-mance on the ice isn’t bringing you much joy either, then?

God no! That’s what makes players want to get paid. Worse yet, Rocky’s paying them! Look at all these contracts being handed out! Seabrook, Byfuglien, Sharp. You don’t build loyalty in your players that way. You break their spirit, that’s how you make players loyal. I spent a lifetime chasing exciting, skilled, handsome forwards out of town. Hull, Roenick, Amonte, I’ve chased every good-looking scorer outta there. Now that Sharp’ll be hornin’ in on Wirtz’s trim for years! Though I guess it doesn’t matter, due to booze and age I haven’t had an erection since 1968. That, and I’m dead.

Q: That’s a disturbing image. Anyway, we’re out of time, Bill. enjoy your eternity Down Below.

A: Yeah, well, it’s still better than Joe Louis Arena.

What To Watch For: Well, with Alexandre Burrows around, someone’s going to get rip-shit. This game probably means too much to both teams for someone to get out of line. But with the extra charge and emotion in the building, there’s a chance. The Canucks rank 7th in kefluffles, with Darcy Hordichuk leading the way with 12. We know, a scrapper named Darcy. We’re sure more than a few op-

ponents have pointed this out. Shane O’Brien is no slouch either, with 7. With Eager returning from suspension, he’s the most likely to get back into the swing of fisty-things.

Team Opp PPG PP%DET 329 84 25.5WSH 311 77 24.8SJS 325 78 24BOS 283 65 23PHI 290 64 22.1

ANA 289 63 21.8BUF 329 70 21.3CHI 330 68 20.6STL 322 66 20.5ATL 327 66 20.2TOR 306 61 19.9MIN 297 59 19.9NJD 280 55 19.6OTT 310 60 19.4LAK 341 66 19.4

Team OPP PPG PP%VAN 323 61 18.9CGY 328 61 18.6TBL 312 58 18.6MTL 341 61 17.9CAR 348 62 17.8EDM 328 56 17.1NYI 296 50 16.9PIT 337 56 16.6COL 297 48 16.2FLA 285 46 16.1NSH 293 44 15DAL 330 49 14.8PHX 310 45 14.5NYR 323 46 14.2CBJ 306 39 12.8

Power PlayTeam TS PPGA PK%NYR 309 37 88MIN 267 34 87.3SJS 283 46 83.8NSH 317 52 83.6CGY 326 54 83.4STL 332 56 83.1LAK 329 56 83PHI 369 63 82.9BUF 310 54 82.6FLA 292 51 82.5NYI 327 58 82.3BOS 274 49 82.1CBJ 313 56 82.1PIT 321 58 81.9

MTL 340 62 81.8

Team TS PPGA PK%OTT 316 60 81CHI 301 58 80.7VAN 344 67 80.5ANA 354 69 80.5WSH 361 72 80.1NJD 299 60 79.9CAR 281 58 79.4TBL 369 77 79.1COL 292 62 78.8DAL 299 64 78.6DET 301 66 78.1EDM 317 71 77.6PHX 265 61 77TOR 283 70 75.3ATL 335 83 75.2

Penalty Kill

GAME FIGHT TIME Bloody Nose

Black Eye

Bruised Ego

Just Dancing

Analysis

10-19-08 Eager v.Brown

2nd.2:46 √ √ Right off a draw, these two grapple right

into the Hawks bench. Brown throws all the punches as Eager can’t find balance. Brown

on points.

10-19-08 Burish v.O’Brien

1st.5:46 √ √ Typical Burish fight. After scrum these two

separate, and Burish proceeds to receive lots of rights to the face, which we think is like

food to him.

3-1-08 Barker v.Pettinger

3rd.5:51 √ Barker jumps in to retaliate high hit on

Toews, but other than an angry face, it wasn’t much. ‘Preciate the effort, though

3-1-08 Wiz v. Burrows

3rd.9:49 √ Wiz reacts to elbow from Burrows, and like

most Vancouver fags, Burrows quickly opts for takedown.

HAWKS vs. CANUCKSFight Stats provided by Hockeyfights.com

The Fight Card

SpotlightAlex Burrows & Ryan Kesler

One of the common refrains about the Sedin twins, and Mats Sundin, and well, the Canucks as a whole, is that they didn’t have a lot of heart. In fact, they didn’t have any. The Sedins’ and Sundin’s recent playoff performances would bare that out. Well, here are two guys who will make up for a lot of that, if not all of it. If there are a pair of players more unpleasant to play against, we’d like to see it. Burrows plays every shift as if his family’s being held hostage. #14 is straight out of the Steve Ott, Jordan Tootoo-school of annoying fuckhead. If the Hawks do end up drawing the Canucks in Round 1, Hawks fans will be bringing sniper rifles into the arena by Game 5, and the sight-lasers will be pointed right at the killer whale on his chest. But Burrows is much more than that. Like Ott, when his team needed him to, he’s kicked up his scoring to a new level. He’s already doubled his career-high in goals, with 25. He’s also doing all of the dirty work while the Sedin twins braid each other’s hair and paint their nails and talk about kissing boys. Kesler, when the Canucks get off this ridiculous goalie-as-captain experiment, will be wearing the “C”. While not quite the tick-bite that Bur-rows is, he still never takes a shift off, and pretty much can’t as he skates between corpses Mats Sundin and Pavol Demitra. These two caused quite the stir this week when both commented to the press that some guys would have to take less money than they would get on the open market if they wanted the Canucks to remain together and winning. It seemed that was aimed right at the Sedins. It was a little odd, especially from Kesler who signed an offer sheet from Philly a couple years ago, but shows what is important to these two. Here were two guys probably sickened by the Sundin cash-grab. Unfor-tunately, their comments were about as well received as Lindsay Lohan getting behind the wheel of your car. Which makes us think that even these two can’t pump enough blood to make the Canucks heart go.

The Committed Indian is printed by Royal Omega Graphics- Elk Grove, IL847-952-8000

kagroyalo@aol.com

KNOW THY ENEMY

Hawks-CANUCKS: the Last 4

Feb. 7th, 2009: Hawks 3, Canucks 7Probably less said the better. ‘Nucks go 4-for-8

with the man-advantage, and this one’s over half-way through the 2nd when Vancouver is 6-0 up.

Dec. 20th, 2008: Hawks 3, Canucks 1#7 of December’s March To The Sea. Kane scores

sweet backhander roofed over Sanford’s glove. Sharp gives Hawks the lead a few minutes later, and Huet and Hawks shut Vancouver down through the

3rd. Toews adds empty-netter

Oct. 19th, 2008: Canucks 2, Hawks 4Coach Q’s and Huet’s first win with the Hawks.

Seabrook and Sharp give the Hawks the lead in the first, and Kane and Sharp blow it open in the 3rd.

Mar. 2nd, 2008: Canucks 1, Hawks 4Canucks manage all of 10 shots, and yet Patrick La-lime still can’t get a shutout. Kane with two, Sharp, and Ladd turn this one into a laugher that wasn’t this

close.

This evening, Mike from Nucks Misconduct (www.nucksmisconduct.com) on the SB Nation was kind enough to put down the legal weed in BC and share some info on the boys from BC.

Big game tonight obviously, but are Canucks fans eying our 4th seed, or more the division crown over the Flames?Mike: Personally, I want to see them get the NW title. Calgary has been our bitter rival for a few years and we didn’t have a prayer in catching them just a month ago. To be one point back and an easier schedule to end the season, I think it would mean more to the players and management to get the crown. Plus, you know, sticking it to Keenan and Bertuzzi has a certain schadenfreude that doesn’t come along too often.

The Sedins’ and Sundin’s playoff record isn’t exactly glittering. Does this worry supporters in Vancouver?Mike: Well, yes and no. Luongo is the man who will define how far the Canucks go in the post season. Two seasons ago, he beat Dallas in the first round while he received almost no support. So I’m far more concerned with his mentality then our Swedish uberlords. That said, I suspect the Sedins will improve. Year-to-year they have gotten better in the regular season even as opposing defensemen have figured out how to better contain their cycling. Sundin? As long as he stays out of the penalty box, I’d be content.

Kesler and Burrows made some waves with their comments about people needing to take paycuts in order for the team to stay together and win. Why was this such a big deal? And was that aimed at the soon-to-be-free agent twins?Mike: Kesler and Burrows are the types of players that, as fans, you want on your team. Burrows was an undrafted dark horse that made our first line after years of patience and improving his game. Kesler, since we drafted him first a few years ago, has been preordained to be the second coming of Trevor Linden in terms of leadership. The fact they both are having career seasons and pulling Vancouver along with them is honestly nothing short of astounding. I’m sure guys like theSedins or Ohlund - all UFAs to be - may have not wanted to hear these two popu-lar guys stomp all over their potential paydays, and certainly the NHLPA didn’t want to hear it either. But their point is honest enough: in the cap era taking less money on a team you believe in can go a long way. Just ask Hossa.

Burrows and Kesler have really busted out this season, despite their feelings about others’ contracts. What got into them?Mike: Kesler has been slowly improving year to year. He was called out in the offseason to contribute more and truthfully I didn’t think he could do it. But he’s an incredibly complete player, capable of playing a shutdown style of defense while, three seconds later, pursuing an aggressive forecheck and then crashing the net. He’s been simply invaluable this year. And Burrows is playing in anotherdimension. I think Burrows has played the underdog so often in his career that I

believe he’s used to making the most of the opportunities presented to him. So when Vigneault was juggling lines (which he does every other second) and he wound up playing with the Sedins (which is the equivalent on our team to win-ning both showcase showdowns on the Price Is Right) he hit pay dirt. He has meshed far better with the twins then any other winger in recent history, including Markus Naslund last year.

How do you guys feel about a possible 1st round match-up with us?Mike: Our first round is looking to be either Chicago, Columbus or Calgary. Honestly, I’d rather have Calgary because they’re playing the worst of that group right now. Chicago would be a tough match up, though one I think Vancouver would eventually win assuming they don’t spend half of every game in the box. But I wouldn’t want to face the Hawks youth and resurgence if I had a choice; getting Khabby back is huge for you guys and you seem to be back on the win-ning side of things again. I think the series would be great as I imagine bothteams will be looking to prove themselves and could get very smashmouth once the puck drops. Lord help you guys if we get Rypien back from injury by then. He’s as instable as Hanibal Lector (so yes he may eat Kane, what can I say?)

How far do you think the ‘Nucks can go this spring?Mike: As far as Luongo and the defense can carry them. The Canucks never blow a team away (except Chicago...ha!) but are better at jumping out to a one/two goal lead and then letting Lui take it from there. If they can find their groove and escape the first round, I like our chances to go pretty far. If they let their penalties undo them as they have very often this year, well, you’ll find us at the bar. And probably underneath it.

Mats Sundin started out awful, then got real hot, and has now settled in.What’s been the overall verdict on him in BC?Mike: I skewered his signing to begin with. I personally don’t like him, but he has helped remove the pressure off the Sedins and, while he’s amazingly inconsistent and has a terrible tendency to take penalties 200 feet from his own net, he does use his body pretty well and has shown some great chemistry with Demitra and Kesler over the past several weeks, giving Vancouver two scoring lines which is something it’s never had. Ever. I think Sundin will be judged very much on the postseason. If they go all the way and he contributes one point, no one will care. If we get bounced in the first round and he scored a hat trick every game, people will still say it wasn’t enough. He’ll be under a lot of scrutiny, but that’s what comes with 8 million for half a season (christ I want to punch myself in the face just writing that).

NAME QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING

Aaron Johnson -0.04 -0.21 11.9 3.94 1.26 2.68 2.29 2.12 0.17 2.51

Andrew Ladd 0.08 0.23 12.88 3.69 2.26 1.42 2.33 2.13 0.21 1.22

Duncan Keith 0.06 0.15 18.45 3.3 2.15 1.15 2.52 2.29 0.23 0.92

Martin Havlat 0.05 0.21 13.44 3.65 2.58 1.07 2.35 2.01 0.34 0.73

Dave Bolland 0.09 0.33 12.7 3.48 2.43 1.05 2.42 2.07 0.36 0.69

Adam Burish -0.08 -0.08 7.13 2.55 1.5 1.05 2.75 2.3 0.45 0.6

N. Hjalmarsson -0.01 -0.18 12.87 0.85 1.27 -0.42 2.88 3.73 -0.85 0.42

Brent Seabrook 0.07 0.3 16.56 2.77 2.06 0.7 2.69 2.23 0.46 0.24

Troy Brouwer 0.02 -0.14 11.59 2.46 1.73 0.74 2.77 2.24 0.53 0.21

Matt Walker -0.03 -0.13 13.89 2.73 2.12 0.61 2.49 2.03 0.46 0.14

Colin Fraser -0.12 -0.12 7.78 2.36 1.82 0.54 2.79 2.24 0.55 -0.02

Ben Eager -0.11 -0.11 8.23 2.47 1.91 0.56 2.76 2.14 0.62 -0.06

Jonathan Toews 0.02 -0.11 13.24 2.83 2.33 0.5 2.67 2.1 0.57 -0.07

Kris Versteeg 0.02 -0.17 12.14 2.58 2.22 0.36 2.81 2.23 0.58 -0.22

Dustin Byfuglien -0.03 -0.04 11.79 1.97 1.59 0.38 3.07 2.45 0.62 -0.24

Patrick Kane 0.03 -0.1 13.77 2.43 2.36 0.06 2.7 2.14 0.57 -0.51

Patrick Sharp -0.01 -0.03 13.18 2.64 2.24 0.4 2.93 1.89 1.04 -0.64

Brian Campbell -0.03 -0.05 17.19 2.67 2.62 0.05 2.75 1.89 0.86 -0.81

Cam Barker -0.03 -0.11 13.22 2.11 2.58 -0.47 2.87 2.01 0.86 -1.33

Samuel Pahlsson 0.03 -0.83 12.34 1.54 2.73 -1.19 2.95 1.98 0.97 -2.17

Hockey SabermetricsCHICAGO

Every game, we provide you with the Behind The Net numbers. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. Key: QUALCOMP- A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calcu-lated by averaging +/-/60 for opponents on the ice against player. QUALTEAM- A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for teammates on ice with player. TOI/60- Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. GFON/60, GAON/60- Goals for and against team per 60 min. player is on ice +/-ON/60- Team’s Plus/minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60- Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING- +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/-OFF/60.

Player GFON/60

Cam Barker 11.28

Troy Brouwer 8.8

Patrick Kane 8.59

Patrick Sharp 8.48

Jonathan Toews 8.04

Brian Campbell 7.56

Dustin Byfuglien 6.2

Duncan Keith 6.17

Martin Havlat 6.03

Brent Seabrook 5.73

Kris Versteeg 5.21

Player GA/60

Troy Brouwer 4.63

Adam Burish 5.48

Duncan Keith 6

Brent Seabrook 6.14

Aaron Johnson 6.28

Andrew Ladd 6.44

Colin Fraser 6.71

Samuel Pahlsson 7.01

Kris Versteeg 7.07

Matt Walker 7.08

Cam Barker 7.59

Dave Bolland 8.29

N. Hjalmarsson 19.78

Power Play RatingsThis is a measure of a team’s goals-for per 60 minutes of player being on the

ice on the power play.

Penalty Kill RatingsThis measures how many goals a team

gives up per 60 minutes the player is on the ice on the PK.

Corsi RatingShots attempted for a team vs. how many are at-

tempted against while a given player is on the ice, per 60 min.

NAME CORSI

Jonathan Toews 16.9

Martin Havlat 16.4

Troy Brouwer 14.5

Andrew Ladd 13.9

Brian Campbell 13.7

Patrick Kane 12.9

Kris Versteeg 12.3

Patrick Sharp 12.3

Brent Seabrook 12.2

Duncan Keith 12.1

Dustin Byfuglien 11.2

Cam Barker 11.1

Dave Bolland 10.3

Matt Walker 8.7

Aaron Johnson 8.5

Ben Eager 8.1

Adam Burish 8

Colin Fraser 3.2

N. Hjalmarsson -2.1

Samuel Pahlsson -12.3

Penalties Drawn vs. Taken

NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60

Adam Burish 1.8 1.1

Colin Fraser 1.5 0.5

Kris Versteeg 1.5 0.7

Patrick Kane 1.5 0.9

Patrick Sharp 1.4 0.9

Dave Bolland 1.3 0.8

Jonathan Toews 1.3 0.8

Andrew Ladd 1.2 0.7

Ben Eager 1.2 2.5

Dustin Byfuglien 1.2 1.2

Martin Havlat 1.1 0.6

Troy Brouwer 1.1 0.9

Aaron Johnson 0.5 1.8

Brian Campbell 0.4 0.4

Samuel Pahlsson 0.4 1.2

Brent Seabrook 0.3 0.9

Matt Walker 0.3 0.6

Duncan Keith 0.1 0.8

Cam Barker 0.1 0.6

N. Hjalmarsson 0 0

Face-offsPlayer Face-Offs Taken FO%

Jonathan Toews 1152 55.1

Samuel Pahlsson 1125 53.2

Colin Fraser 725 48.0

Dave Bolland 1067 44.5

Total Rank: 24th 48.0

Hockey Sabermetrics

Player GAON/60

Kevin Bieksa 4.27

Taylor Pyatt 4.81

Jannik Hansen 5.23

Shane O'Brien 5.67

Alex Burrows 6.22

Ossi Vaananen 6.52

Mattias Ohlund 6.53

Willie Mitchell 6.75

Ryan Kesler 7.05

Sami Salo 8.58

Ryan Johnson 9.17

Alex Edler 9.48

Rick Rypien 19.67

Power Play RatingsThis is a measure of a team’s goals for per 60 minutes of player being on the

ice on the power play.

Penalty Kill RatingsThis measures how many goals a team gives up per 60 minutes the

player is on the ice on the PK.

Corsi RatingThis measures how many shots are attempted for a team vs. how many are attempted against while a

given player is on the ice, per 60 min.

NAME CORSI

Daniel Sedin 7.9

Henrik Sedin 6.9

Alex Burrows 5

Ryan Kesler 3.1

Pavol Demitra 2.1

Sami Salo 1

Kevin Bieksa 0.9

Willie Mitchell 0.6

Jannik Hansen 0

Mason Raymond -0.9

Mats Sundin -2

Alex Edler -2.1

Shane O'Brien -4.4

Kyle Wellwood -5.8

Steve Bernier -7

Mattias Ohlund -7.5

Rob Davison -7.6

Taylor Pyatt -9.8

Ossi Vaananen -15.6

Darcy Hordichuk -20.1

Ryan Johnson -22.5

Rick Rypien -44.7

Penalties Drawn vs. Taken

NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60

Alex Burrows 1.8 1.4

Darcy Hordichuk 1.7 1.4

Mason Raymond 1.6 0.7

Daniel Sedin 1.5 0.4

Henrik Sedin 1.4 0.8

Ryan Johnson 1.3 0.4

Jannik Hansen 1.2 0.8

Ryan Kesler 1.2 0.7

Steve Bernier 1.2 0.5

Taylor Pyatt 1.1 1.3

Kevin Bieksa 1 1.3

Mats Sundin 0.9 1.6

Alex Edler 0.6 1.1

Kyle Wellwood 0.6 0

Willie Mitchell 0.5 0.7

Ossi Vaananen 0.4 0.7

Shane O'Brien 0.4 2.2

Pavol Demitra 0.3 0.5

Mattias Ohlund 0.3 1.7

Sami Salo 0.3 0.9

Rob Davison 0.3 1.1

Rick Rypien 0 0

Face-offsPlayer Face-Offs Taken FO%

Kyle Wellwood 564 56.5

Mats Sundin 499 56.1

Ryan Kesler 949 53.8

Henrik Sundin 1227 49.7

Total: Rank: 6th 51.6

Player GFON/60

Mats Sundin 7.66

Ryan Kesler 7.29

Alex Edler 6.64

Steve Bernier 5.9

Kyle Wellwood 5.83

Kevin Bieksa 5.76

Mattias Ohlund 5.67

Daniel Sedin 5.5

Henrik Sedin 5.44

Pavol Demitra 5.4

Sami Salo 4.6

NAME QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING

Daniel Sedin 0.06 0.17 13.68 3.32 1.96 1.36 2.41 2.28 0.13 1.23

Willie Mitchell 0.06 -0.1 17.49 3.06 1.81 1.25 2.45 2.42 0.03 1.22

Henrik Sedin 0.07 0.25 14.01 3.3 2.2 1.1 2.41 2.17 0.24 0.86

Ossi Vaananen -0.02 0.09 14.2 2.82 2.11 0.7 2.43 2.52 -0.09 0.79

Pavol Demitra 0.04 0 13.34 3.24 2.29 0.96 2.7 2.3 0.41 0.55

Alex Burrows 0.03 0.09 12.95 3.13 2.44 0.69 2.51 2.07 0.44 0.25

Alex Edler -0.01 -0.01 15.07 2.54 1.94 0.61 2.76 2.37 0.4 0.21

Jannik Hansen 0 0 10.5 3.39 2.86 0.53 2.54 2.18 0.36 0.17

Kyle Wellwood 0.02 -0.26 10.35 2.28 1.76 0.53 2.62 2.25 0.37 0.15

Mattias Ohlund 0.02 -0.01 15.61 3.01 2.44 0.57 2.52 2.04 0.48 0.09

Ryan Kesler 0.03 -0.01 13.08 2.79 2.29 0.5 2.65 2.13 0.52 -0.02

Sami Salo 0.06 0.2 13.24 2.53 1.92 0.61 2.86 1.96 0.9 -0.29

Mason Raymond -0.02 -0.1 10.52 1.99 1.73 0.26 2.87 2.28 0.6 -0.34

Darcy Hordichuk -0.11 -0.43 5.39 1.69 1.35 0.34 2.89 2.22 0.68 -0.34

Steve Bernier 0.04 -0.01 11.2 2.5 2.28 0.22 2.74 2.12 0.62 -0.4

Shane O'Brien -0.01 0.02 13.52 2.64 2.51 0.13 2.63 2.03 0.59 -0.46

Ryan Johnson -0.03 -0.28 7.61 1.9 1.75 0.15 2.94 2.15 0.79 -0.64

Taylor Pyatt 0.06 0.01 11.32 2.25 2.41 -0.16 2.81 2.12 0.7 -0.86

Mats Sundin -0.02 0.08 12.81 2.55 2.7 -0.14 3 2.09 0.91 -1.05

Kevin Bieksa 0.04 0.16 16.14 2.17 2.57 -0.4 2.95 2.05 0.89 -1.29

VANCOUVEREvery game, we provide you with the Behind The Net numbers. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. Key: QUALCOMP- A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calcu-lated by averaging +/-/60 for opponents on the ice against player. QUALTEAM- A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for teammates on ice with player. TOI/60- Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. GFON/60, GAON/60- Goals for and against team per 60 min. player is on ice +/-ON/60- Team’s Plus/minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60- Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING- +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/-OFF/60.

Referee Stats For The HawksReferees 1st NHL

GameHawks Games Hawks PP’s Hawks

PK’s Pens/Game Hawks PP/Game Hawks PK/

GameW L OTL

2 Fraser, Kerry 1980 3 14 17 10.3 4.7 5.7 3 0 0

3 Leggo, Mike 1997 5 19 22 8.2 3.8 4.4 4 0 1

4 McCauley, Wes 2003 5 11 14 5.0 2.2 2.8 2 2 0

5 Rooney, Chris 2000 1 4 1 5.0 4.0 1.0 1 0 0

6 Marouelli, Dan 1984 3 14 11 8.3 4.7 3.7 1 2 0

7 McCreary, Bill 1984 4 17 15 8.0 4.3 3.8 2 3 0

8 Jackson, Dave 1990 6 28 24 8.7 4.7 4.0 4 1 1

10 Devorski, Paul 1989 3 12 16 9.3 4 5.3 1 2 0

11 Sutherland, Kelly 2000 2 11 14 12.5 5.5 7 0 2 0

12 Koharski, Don 1981 4 19 20 9.8 4.8 5.0 3 0 1

13 O’Halloran, Dan 1995 6 34 23 9.5 5.6 3.8 3 2 1

14 LaRue, Dennis 1991 6 28 24 8.6 4.3 4 4 1 1

15 Auger, Stephane 2000 4 17 13 7.5 4.3 3.3 3 0 1

16 Shick, Rob 1986 1 2 2 4.0 2.0 2.0 0 0 1

18 Kimmerly, Greg 1996 5 26 25 10.2 5.2 5.0 3 2 0

20 Peel, Tim 1999 4 19 19 9.5 4.7 4.7 2 2 0

21 VanMassenhoven, Don 1993 4 17 10 6.7 4.2 2.5 2 0 2

23 Watson, Brad 1996 4 15 8 5.7 3.7 2 2 1 1

25 Joannette, Marc 1999 3 19 7 8.6 6.3 2.3 2 0 1

26 Martell, Rob 1996 1 3 1 4.0 3.0 1.0 1 0 0

27 Furlatt, Eric 2001 6 27 26 8.8 4.5 4.3 2 3 1

28 Lee, Chris 2001 2 11 10 10.5 5.5 5 1 1 0

29 Walsh, Ian 2000 1 1 3 4.0 1.0 3.0 0 1 0

30 Hasenfratz, Mike 2000 3 22 13 11.7 7.3 4.3 0 1 2

32 Kowal, Tom 2000 4 13 10 5.8 3.3 2.5 4 0 0

33 Pollock, Kevin 2000 4 14 15 7.2 3.5 3.7 1 1 2

34 Meier, Brad 1999 4 14 20 8.5 3.5 5.0 3 1 0

35 Warren, Dean 1999 - - - - - - - - -

36 Morton, Dean 2000 3 24 13 12.3 8.0 4.3 1 1 1

38 St Laurent, Francois 2006 2 14 15 14.5 7.0 7.5 1 0 1

39 Dwyer, Gord 2003 5 30 24 10.8 6 4.8 3 0 2

40 Kozari, Steve 2006 5 30 23 10.6 6 4.6 2 2 1

42 O’Rourke, Dan 1999 3 17 15 10.6 5.6 5 2 0 1

43 Pochmara, Brian 2006 3 12 14 8.6 4 4.6 2 1 0

45 St. Pierre, Justin 2003 6 29 26 9.2 4.8 4.3 3 1 2

NHL LEADERSPoints

Player Team P

1 Evgeni Malkin PIT 1072 A. Ovechkin WAS 1003 S. Crosby PIT 974 Pavel Datsyuk DET 895 Zach Parise NJ 8928 Martin Havlat CHI 68

Goals

Player Team G

1 A. Ovechkin WAS 532 Zach Parise NJ 423 Jeff Carter PHI 414 I. Kovalchuk ATL 405 P. Marleau SJ 3721 J. Toews CHI 30

GAA

Player Team GAA

1 Tim Thomas BOS 2.112 Steve Mason CBJ 2.193 Pekka Rinne NSH 2.244 Jonas Hiller ANA 2.255 N. Backstrom MIN 2.3614 Cristobal Huet CHI 2.50

SV%

Player Team SV%

1 Tim Thomas BOS .9312 T. Vokoun FLA .9253 Craig Anderson FLA .9244 Jonas Hiller ANA .9225 Pekka Rinne NSH .92211 N. Khabibulin CHI .917

If you ever listen to someone who proclaims to know a lot about hockey, he -- and every leap year the occasional she -- will tell you that hockey is “in their blood”. That part of their DNA is vulcanized rubber, or sponsored by CCM, or something. Usually these people spend too much time on hockey and over-analyze and over-discuss everything hockey. And who you thought was a cool hockey friend, you’re now dreading making eye contact with out of fear that you’re going to hear him talk about Sami Pahlsson trade for the umpteenth time. The next thing you know, he’s got a spork in his eye and you’re being dragged away in handcuffs. Meanwhile, all your friends are all shaking their heads saying, “ I don’t get it. They both have Hockey in their blood.”

It is true that Hockey fans are more diehard than other fans, and thank God for that. If you’re crazy enough to play then you start bonding with some of the nuances of the game. The way you tape a stick. The way your ankles feel when you take off your skates, etc etc. Well, when that happens, then you feel like you, Bobby Orr, and Eddie Shore all fell from the same family tree.

I originally felt this. I played hockey. In fact, in 1981 during the third coldest day in Chicago history, I was out on the Lincoln Park Lagoon playing hockey. It had to be in my DNA then. It simply had to. Otherwise, why was I out in -23 degree weather? But I would soon learn later that that was not the case. When school started allowing middle school athletics, I split my time with basketball and hockey. And my hockey DNA was failing me because I was excelling in basketball and falling behind in hockey. Needless to say,this didn’t sit well with my hockey team captain.

If ever there was a man who had hockey in his DNA, it was the captain of my peewee hockey team. You knew just from being around him that not only did he enjoy hockey more than you, but that twenty years from now he’ll still be involved in hockey in some capacity ( a little over twenty years later and I’m proud to report that he is still in hockey. You probably see him. I won’t embarrass him by saying his name, but he’s awfully good at what he does and it’s no surprise. [Editor’s Note: We won’t reveal said hockey captain’s name either, but it rhymes with Josh Mora] ). When he pulled me over and whined about me being late and suggested I just play basketball,

at first I was upset, because he was smaller than me and I should have just beat the shit out of him. But I saw how much he LOVED hockey, and how disrespectful I was being to that love.

Naturally, I would soon find myself in another arena that not only required talent, and dedication, but a busload of passion in your DNA to make it --the theater. But that was easy to walk away from. Too much drama. Too many life changing decisions,t oo many over-analyzations of people’s responses. Too much bickering. I wasn’t lashing out at my inability to understand Gay Pride because my father wouldn’t come to a baseball game when I was young, I was simply ordering a roast beef sandwich for lunch. End of story. Good thing there weren’t sporks at the theater I interned at, all I’m saying.

But nowadays my Blackhawks blood is racing. We haven’t had a team this good in 15 years. It’s young, and it’s going to be around awhile, and everything is positive. But the more “diehards” and Hockey DNA people I talk to, I just get depressed. They want to kill the GM. Prices are too high (even though they’re be-ing frozen). They’re worried about Toews and Kane’s contract which don’t happen for another year and a half. Some even worry about Havlat just playing well for the money then kicking it into second gear once he has money.

Maybe it’s just the way we communicate. Baseball writers here in New York talked about how the ability to post anonymously has led to the death of a conversation. With 24-hour talk radio, and unlimited blogs, we all become soloists in a giant field of white noise. Whatever the reason, I’m gonna be just a tad skeptical next time someone tells me they have hockey in their blood.

Of course, the editor of this fine publication seems to have a fairly square head on his shoulders, and he clearly has hockey in his DNA. But that can’t be. After all, he’s my brother.

Adam Fels lives in New York after growing up in the standing room of Chicago Stadium, and waits patiently by the phone for when his brother calls him to come post his bail.

If you’d like to contribute to our silly rag, please send submissions to committedindian@gmail.com. All guest contributors will have a chance to win a free jersey from Triple Threat Sports!

The Committed IndianWe’re freezing our ass off so you can laugh yours off

Is There Such A Thing As A Hockey Crip?

The Other Brother

Adam Fels

The Making of The Chicago Blackhawks

YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT2008-2009 Samuel Pahlsson (COL 7th round 1996) and

Logan Stephenson (PHX 2nd round 2004) from ANA for James Wisniewski (CHI 5th round 2002) and Petri Kontiola (CHI 7th round 2004)

Brian Campbell (BUF 6th round 1997Cristobal Huet (LA 7th round 2001)Matt Walker (STL 3rd round 1998)Aaron Johnson (CLB 3rd round 2001)

2007-2008 Patrick Kane (1st round) Ben Eager (PHO 1st round 2002) from PHI for Jim Vandermeer (FA PHI 2000)Craig Adams (HAR 9th round 1996) from CAR for future considerations.Andrew Ladd (CAR 1st round 2004) from CAR for Tuomo Ruutu (CHI 1st round 2001)

Brent Sopel (VAN 6th round 1995)

2006-2007 Jonathan Toews (1st round) Martin Havlat (OTT 1st round 1999) from OTT and Bryan Smolinski (BOS 1st round 1990) for Tom Preissing (FA SJ 2003), Josh Hennessy (SJ 2nd round 2003) and Michael Barinka (CHI 2nd round 2003)Kris Versteeg (BOS 5th round 2004) from BOS for Brandon Bochenski (OTT 7th round 2001)

2005-2006 Niklas Hjalmarsson (4th round) Patrick Sharp (PHI 3rd round 2001) from PHI for Matt Ellison (CHI 4th round 2002) and CHI 3rd round pick 2006

Nikolai Khabibulin (WIN 9th round 1992)

2004-2005 Cam Barker (1st round)Dave Bolland (2nd round)Troy Brouwer (7th round)

2003-2004 Brent Seabrook (1st round)Dustin Byfuglien (8th round)

Colin Fraser (PHI 3rd round 2003), Jim Van-dermeer (PHI FA 2000) and 2004 2nd round pick from PHI for Alex Zhamnov and 2004 4th round pick (WIN 4th round 1990)

2002-2003 Duncan Keith (2nd round)Adam Burish (9th round)

COACHESHead Coach-Joel QuennevilleAssistant Coach-John TorchettiAssistant Coach-Mike HavilandAssistant Coach- Marc BergevinGoaltending Coach-Stephane Waite

GM HISTORYDale Tallon (2005-Present)Bob Pulford (Too Fucking Long)Mike Smith (2001-2004)Bob Murray (1999-2000)

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com

The Making of The Vancouver

CanucksYEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT

2008-2009 Steve Bernier (SJ 1st round 2003) from BUF for 2009 3rd round pick and 2010 2nd round pickShane O’Brien (ANA 8th round 2003) and Michel Ouellet (PIT 4th round 2000) from TB for Lukas Krajicek (FLA 1st 2001)Jason LaBarbera (NYR 3rd round 1998) from LA 2009 7th round pick

Pavol Demitra (OTT 9th round 1993)Darcy Hordichuk (ATL 6th round 2000)Ryan Johnson (FLA 2nd round 1994)Mats Sundin (QUE 1st round 1989)Kyle Wellwood (TOR 5th round 2001)- off waiversRob Davison (SJ 5th round 1998)Ossi Vaananen (PHX 2nd round 1998)-off waivers

2007-20082006-2007 Taylor Pyatt (NYI 1st round 1999) from BUF

for 2006 4th round pickRoberto Luongo (NYI 1st round 1997), Lukas Krajicek (FLA 1st 2001), and 2006 6th round pick from FLA for Bryan Allen (VAN 1st round 1998), Todd Bertuzzi (NYI 1st round 1993), and Alex Auld (FLA 2nd round 1999)

Wille Mitchell (NJ 8th round 1996)

2005-2006 Mason Raymond (2nd round)

Alex Burrows (Undrafted FA)Rick Rypien (Undrafted FA)

2004-2005 Alex Edler (3rd round)Jannik Hansen (9th round)

2003-2004 Ryan Kesler (1st round)2002-2003 Sami Salo (OTT 9th round 1996) from OTT for

Peter Schaefer (VAN 3rd round 1995)2001-2002 Kevin Bieksa (5th round)1999-2000 Daniel Sedin (1st round)

Henrick Sedin (1st round)1996-19971994-1995 Mattias Ohlund (1st round)

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com

GM HISTORY2007-Present: Mike Gillis2005-2007: Dave Nonis1999-2005: Brian Burke1988-1999: Pat Quinn

COACHESHead Coach: Alain VigneaultAsst. Coach: Rick BownessAsst. Coach: Ryan WalterAsst. Coach: Darryl WilliamsGoaltending Coach: Ian Clark

Playing at home............ 21-8-7Playing on road........... 19-14-4Scoring first.......... 28-5-4Opponent scores first........ 12-17-7Shoot the puck bimbo scores...... 5-1-1Shoot the puck bimbo doesn’t score...... 16-6-6Shoot the puck bimbo blows editors of Commited Indian..... 0-0-0Editors of Indian have car broken into day of game ....... 1-0-0Playing on a Monday.............. 2-2-1 Playing on a Tuesday................ 6-3-0Playing on a Wednesday........... 9-1-3Playing on a Thursday.............. 2-3-0Playing on a Friday................ 5-4-4Playing on a Saturday............. 7-5-3Playing on a Sunday................ 9-4-0Savard changes lines during game... 1-2-1Coach Q keeps lines as they are..... 39-20-10Are out-muscled by opponent.... 10-17-4Outshoot opponent....... 29-13-6Are outshot by opponent.... 11-9-5Havlat shies from contact......... 16-6-6Patrick Kane scores............... 11-7-3Jonathan Toews scores.......... 13-3-6Martin Havlat scores............. 16-4-1Patrick Sharp scores............ 16-3-2Dustin Byfuglien scores......... 7-2-1Dustin Byfuglien wins a foot-race??!!!!!..... 1-0-0Andrew Ladd scores............. 11-0-1Dave Bolland scores......... 11-1-4Adam Burish scores....... 3-2-1, and totally ruins that joke51 Phantom scores....... 3-2-1Duncan Keith scores........ 5-3-0Brent Seabrook scores...... 5-1-1VerStud scores.... 12-7-1Troy Brouwer scores.... 8-0-0Scoring a Power Play goal....... 29-10-9Not scoring a Power Play goal... 11-11-2Allowing a Power Play goal...... 17-16-10Not Allowing a Power Play goal....... 23-6-1Scoring a short-handed goal........... 6-2-0

Allowing a short-handed goal......... 2-4-1Taking 30 or more shots......... 31-16-8Taking less than 30 shots..... 9-6-3Allowing 30 shots or more...... 17-8-6Allowing 30 shots or less......... 23-14-5100 Level doesn’t cheer for anthem. 21-7-71st of a back-to-back...... 4-5-32nd of a back-to-back..... 7-5-1Opponent played night before.... 8-5-2Taking more than 5 penalties..... 16-15-5Taking 5 or less penalties.... 24-7-6Seabrook gets a flat-footed penalty.... 8-5-6Burish takes a penalty....... 8-5-2Keith takes a penalty......... 13-3-2Sharp takes a penalty....... 10-2-2Toews takes a penalty..... 9-5-3Havlat takes a penalty.... 6-3-1Sopel takes a penalty...... 3-2-1Sopel looks 6 steps slow...... 7-5-551 Phantom blows a coverage...... 27-18-9Toews is trying too hard...... 3-7-3At least 1 fight in 300 Level... 3-2-4No fights in 300 Level..... 18-5-3Playing Eastern Conference..... 9-6-3Playing Western Conference..... 31-17-8Playing Central Division...... 4-7-6Playing Northwest Division.... 12-6-1Playing Pacific Division 15-4-1Playing Atlantic Division 2-3-2Playing NASCAR Division 4-1-0Playing Northeast Division 3-1-1Playing in October.... 4-3-3Playing in November.... 6-3-3Playing in December...... 10-1-1Playing in January..... 7-6-1Playing in February..... 7-4-1Playing in March...... 6-5-2Playing in April...... 0-0-0UC plays really stupid goal song..... 21-5-7Huet’s five-hole open like Lindsay Lohan’s..... 3-11-4

Getting obliterated on face-offs....... 16-10-4Are even close on face-offs..... 24-12-7Eddie O tells crew to “stop it right here!”.... 34-18-11Eddie O tells us D have the forwards and forwards have the D during 4-on-4........ 34-17-11Pat Foley screws up a name...... 38-18-11Ice Crew wear skirts....... 7-1-3Ice Crew wear pants....... 3-1-0Ice Crew wear shorts.... 11-6-4Member of Ice Crew hilariously falls on her shapely ass.... 0-1-0Leading after 2 periods...... 31-2-3Losing after 2 periods...... 2-15-4Tied after 2 periods......... 7-5-4In overtime.......... 5-5In shootout....... 4-6Cam Barker plays....... 32-18-8Cam Barker is in Rockford due to GM incompetence..... 6-2-3Lacking a #2 center........ 37-22-9In 1-goal games..... 11-7-11In 2-goal games...... 12-7-0In 3-goal games....... 8-5-0In 4+ goal games...... 8-3-0Scoring 3+ goals..... 37-6-7Scoring less than 3 goals...... 3-14-4PA plays Ministry....... 0-0-0PA plays Modern Cock-Rock..... 21-8-7PA plays Stranglehold....... 6-2-4PA plays P.J. Harvey........ 0-0-0Fraser fights...... 7-3-1Burish fights....... 5-2-0Seabrook fights..... 1-0-0Barker fights......... 0-0-2Buff fights......... 1-1-2Sharp fights........ 1-0-0Eager fights.......... 10-3-1On Comcast...... 30-12-8On WGN....... 10-7-3On Vs........ 0-2-0On NBC.... 0-1-0Judd Sirott hates Adam Creighton 40-22-11

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