here, there and everywheressgopalganj.in/online/e-books/class viii/here and... · sudha murty is...
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SUDHAMURTY
Here,ThereandEverywhere
Best-LovedStoriesofSudhaMurty
PENGUINBOOKS
Contents
Introduction
1.ATaleofManyTales2.‘Amma,WhatIsYourDuty?’3.HonestyComesfromtheHeart4.TheRedRiceGranary5.LazyPortado6.ALifeUnwritten7.TheLineofSeparation8.India,theHolyLand9.BondedbyBisleri10.InIndia,theWorstofBothWorlds11.HowITaughtMyGrandmothertoRead12.Rahman’sAvva13.CattleClass14.TheOldManandHisGod15.ALessoninLifefromaBeggar16.MayYouBetheMotherofaHundredChildren17.FoodforThought18.BombaytoBangalore19.MiserableSuccess20.HowtoBeattheBoys21.ThreeThousandStitches22.TheMeaningofPhilanthropy
FollowPenguinCopyright
PENGUINBOOKS
HERE,THEREANDEVERYWHERE
SudhaMurtyisthechairpersonoftheInfosysFoundationandabestsellingauthor.Shehasamaster’sdegreeinelectricalengineeringfromtheIndianInstituteofScience,Bengaluru.ShestartedhercareerasadevelopmentengineerandhasalsotaughtcomputerscienceatBangaloreUniversitycolleges.SheisacolumnistforEnglishandKannadadailies,withtwenty-ninebooksand200titlestohercredit.Herbookshavebeentranslatedintotwentylanguages.AmongtheawardsshehasreceivedaretheR.K.NarayanAwardforLiterature,thePadmaShriin2006,theAttimabbeAwardfromtheGovernmentofKarnatakaforexcellenceinKannadaliteraturein2011and,mostrecently,theLifetimeAchievementAwardattheCrosswordBookAwardsin2018.ShehasreceivedsevenhonorarydoctoratesfromuniversitiesinIndia.
ToShini.Youaremyreflectioninthoughts,indeedsandinappearance.
Introduction
Often,Isensethatthereisalotofmyselfinmystories,whetheritismyfriendsorfamilyorthepeopleImeet.However,theexperiencesthatIwriteaboutaremine.Icannotdisassociatefrommyselfwhilewritingaboutthem.Thisbookcontainssomeofmymostcherishedexperiencesthatarelikebeautifulflowerstomeandhavebeenputtogetherhereasiftocompleteagarland.Whilemostoftheexperiencesarefrompreviouslypublishedbooks,therearetwonewflowers:onethathighlightsmyliteraryjourneyandtheotherthatelaboratesonthetruemeaningofphilanthropy.ThisbookisdedicatedtomybrotherShrinivas.Writingabouthimiseasy
enoughandyetsodifficult.Ilooklikehim,thinklikehim,readlikehimandeatlikehim.Ihaveenjoyedhiscompanysincehewasborn—Iwasthesecondchildandhewasthefourth.Icanspendhourswithhimwithoutanyboredomsettingin.Today,heisarenownedastrophysicistwhohasinnumerableawardsand
distinguishedaccomplishmentstohiscredit.HisworkisallGreektome,justlikemineistohim.Ithinkheisextremelyfocusedandabsolutelyimpractical—hedoesn’tcaremuchabouthisappearance,socialappropriateness,whatothersthinkofhim,orevenfoodforthatmatter.Iammuchmorepracticalinmyapproach.Inmyjourney,Ihavebeenanintegralpartoftheadministrationofmanyorganizations.Butdespitewhatmayappeartobemajordifferences,wearethebestoffriends.WhenShrinivasandIwerechildren,wehaddecidedtomemorizeadictionary
eachduringthesummerholidays.ShrinivaswaspartofthefirstbatchofarecentlyformedEnglish-mediumschoolinourlocality.ThatschoolwasKendriyaVidyalaya.So,hechosetolearntheEnglishdictionarywhileIdefaultedtotheoneinKannada.Atthattime,thechildreninthefamilyhadbeenassignedthetaskofwalkingthefamilydog.Attimes,bothofusdidnotwanttotakehimoutindividuallybecausewewantedtousethattimetolearnafewmore
words.Aftersomethought,wedecidedtowalkthedogtogetherinanefforttorecitethenewwordswehadlearntandtoavoidmonotony.Duringourwalks,wedidmorethanwhatwehadplanned.IeducatedmyselfaboutmadhyamayogathatmybrotherwaslearninginSanskrit,andIspoketohimabouttrigonometry.Iwassurprisedatthespeedwithwhichhelearntitsconceptsdespitethefactthathewasyoungerthanmeandthatitwasnotevenpartofhissyllabusatschool.Othertimes,welovedtodebateaboutourdifferenceinopiniononvarioustopics.FromthetimethatIcanremember,Shrinivashaslovedhisthreesisters
equally.Whenhewassixteen,hehadgonetoNagpurforadebateandwonacashprize.Withthatmoney,heboughtonesari.Hebroughtitbackandgaveittothethreeofus,saying,‘ThisisallthatIcouldafford,andIwantallofyoutosharethissari.’Timehaspassedandourliveshavechanged.Still,thefourofusaretherefor
eachotherwhenthingsgetroughandwhenhappinessabounds.Mybrotherhasbeenlivinginadifferentcountryforthepastfortyyears,and
wemeetonlyannually.Butweremainstronglyconnectedandhecontinuestooccupyaveryspecialplaceinmyheart.Heiscaringbutnotveryexpressiveandlivesinhisbubbleofscienceandastrophysics,alongwithstars,browndwarfs,blackholesandotherentities.TheonlygiftthatIcanreallyandtrulygivehimisthisbook:adearandpreciouspartofme.
1
ATaleofManyTales
Everyperson’slifeisauniquestory.Usually,thestorybecomesfamousonlyafterapersonreceivesrecognitioninwaysthatmattertotheworld.Ifyoupeepintowhatliesdeepinside,itisthechangesheorshehasgonethrough—subtlechangesthattheworldmayneverunderstand.Mostpeopleundertakeanarduousjourneyfullofhighsandlowsthathelps
themmodifyandcreatenewperspectives,thusformingabetterunderstandingoftheworldandrealizingthefactthatrealpassionismuchmorebeautifulthanthepinnacleoftheiraccomplishments.Ironically,lifeappearstobebarrenandaimlesstosomeachieversevenaftertheyreachabiggoal.Recently,IreceivedtheLifetimeAchievementAwardfromCrosswordBooks
atMumbai’sRoyalOperaHouse.Thecategorieswereunravelledonstageonebyone:fiction,non-fictionandchildren’s,amongothers.Thejurymembersgaveinsightsintotheirstrategiesandopinions,andmymindwentbacktothebeginningofmyliteraryjourney.Iamnotastudentofliterature;Ididnotpursueadegreeinthesubject.But
literaturehasalwaysfascinatedme.IbelongtoafamilyofteacherswherebooksaretreasuredandIwasinclinedtowardsbooksataveryyoungage.Igrewupinavillagewherethemediumofcommunicationwasthelocal
language—Kannada.MinewasaKannada-mediumschool.Sometimes,amakeshifttheatreunderatentwouldshowcaseKannadamovies.Therewere
barelyanyradiostationseither.Afterwefinallydidgetaradioathome,itwasmonitoredcloselybytheoldermembersofthefamilywholimiteditsusetoKannadaprogrammesonly.Butaskids,weallhaveourways.Whentheeldersweren’tathome,IwouldlistentoRadioCeylonandoneofitspopularshowscalledBinacaGeetmala.IevenrecallSriLanka’snationalanthem,NamoNamoMata,whichoftenplayedonthatstation.Otherthanthat,therewasnotraceofEnglishinmychildhoodbuttherewasplentyoftimetofigureoutmycreativeoutlets.Myfamilyfrequentlywentforsmalldaytrips:templevisits,wedding-related
events,picnicsoravisittoahistoricalsite.Assoonaswewouldreturnhomeandsettlefortheevening,mymother
wouldinsist,‘Nowsitandwriteaboutyourday.Youmaynotremembertomorrowwhatyouhaveseentoday,andwritingisawonderfulexerciseforyourtinyfingersandyoungminds.’Ialmostalwaysresistedherinstructions.Sittinginoneplaceafteranexciting
daydidn’tsoundlikealotoffun.So,Iwouldrespond,‘Iwillwritetomorrow.’‘That’sfine.Youcanalsohaveyourdinnertomorrowthen,’mymotherwould
say.ThisishowIwasforcedtositandwrite.OnceIbeganwriting,Islowlybutsurelybegantofinditfun.Icouldplay
withcombinationsofthefifty-twolettersintheKannadaalphabetandcreatemeaningfulwordstoexpressmyfeelings:joy,sadness,excitementandanythingelsethatIfelt.Beforelong,writingbecameafondhabit.Formany,manyyears,Iwrotedownmydailythoughts—atleasttwenty-five
linesadayfortwodecades,notrealizingthattheprocesswasinadvertentlyimprovingmyexpressionandaddingclaritytomyideas.Forthis,Iowegratitudetomyfirstteacher,mymother.Asateenager,Ibeganwritingwithatingeofseriousness,alotofadventure
andperhapsevenashadeofromance.Modernitywasthebestthingtherewas,orsoIthought.IwroteaboutMozartandsubmittedthearticletoalocalnewspaper.Whenit
appearedonaSunday,Iwasecstatic.Itookthenewspapertoschoolandsharedthearticlewithmyteachersandclassmates.MyfriendslookedatmewithaweandIfeltlikeIhadreallyachievedsomething!Itwasveryrareforwomentoget
publishedinthosedaysand,inthatinstant,IrealizedthatIwaspossiblytheonlygirlinschoolwhosearticlehadbeenpickedupbyanewspaper.Later,Iwrotearomanticstoryandsentittothesamenewspaper.Dayspassed
butIdidnotreceiveareply.So,Isentaremindertotheeditorwithaprepaidstampedenvelope,hopingthatitwouldencouragehimtoreply.Still,therewasnothing.Finally,IgatheredallthecouragethatIcouldmusterandwenttomeettheeditor.Asexpected,itwasamansincewomeneditorsandjournalistswereabsolutelyunheardofthen.Theeditorlookedatmeandspokegently,‘Mychild,wecannotpublishthisarticle.Agoodpieceofliteraturemustusetherightmixofrealityandimagination.Experience,observation,introspection:thesesensesmustbedevelopedconsciously.Sodon’tgiveup,butthinkaboutthefeedbackthatIhavegivenyoutoday.’AsIsatandbroodedoverthis,Iunderstoodthatimaginationinitselfwasonly
ashiningthreadandnotapieceofbeautifulcloth,thatwritingsimplyaboutfactsorrealissuescouldbedryandwritingwithoutcreativitywouldbeakintoreporting.Theeditorwasright—agoodmixofbothaspectsmakesforinterestingandimpactfulwriting.ItwasalessonthatIhaveneverforgottenandonethatIpractiseeventoday!Mymotherencouragedme.Shesaid,‘Don’tworryaboutgettingpublished.
Evenifyoudon’t,don’tstopwriting.Icanpromiseyouthatwhenyoulookbackandreadyourarticlesagainaftertenyears,youwillseetheimprovementinyourexpression.’Motivated,Ikeptwriting.Later,whenIsubmittedmyarticlestoalocalnewspaper,someofthembegan
tobepublishedoccasionally—likeapleasantshowerduringthesummer.Therewasnofinancialcompensationforthesearticles,andIdidn’texpectanyeither.Gettingmywritingpublishedfeltlikethebiggestcompensation!Theyearsflewby.IcompletedthetenthgradefrommyKannada-medium
schoolandjoinedanEnglish-mediumcollege.Intheolddays,nobodycaredabouttheplightoftheteenagerswhowere
switchingfromKannadatoEnglishasamediumofinstruction.Thereweremanylikemeinthesamerockyboat.Tomakeitworse,itwasthecriticalyearwheremyacademicperformancewouldbecomethegreatestfactorindecidingwhetherIgotadmissiontoengineeringormedicalcoursesornot.Someofmy
peersweresoaghastatthechangeinlanguagethattheychangedtheircoursestostudythearts—notbecausetheyreallywantedtochangetheirsubjects,butbecausesciencewasknowntobetoughandtheartscoursewasthoughttobeeasy,givingthemachancetodowellwhileaccommodatingthechangeinlanguage.IwasfifteenyearsoldthenandunabletowriteasingleparagraphinEnglish.
Confused,Iapproachedmymother.Shesaid,‘YouloveKannadaandwritinginit,don’tyou?’Inodded.‘Thendon’tgetscarednow.Englishisjustanotherlanguage.Yousimplyhave
toreadmoreinEnglishandstartwritinginittoountilyougetcomfortablewiththelanguage.’Fromthatdayon,IconcentratedonreadingEnglishbooksandfounditvery
challenging.ButIpersevered,unwillingtogiveup,andwroteatleastoneparagraphinEnglisheveryday.MygrandfathergiftedmeanEnglish–Kannadadictionaryformybirthdaythatyear,whichbecamemyconstantcompanionforyearsafterthat.Luckilyforme,mathematics,physicsandchemistrydonotrequireextensive
English.Imanagedtodowellandgetadmissiontoanengineeringcollege.Forabriefperiod,Istoppedwritingbecauseofmyschedule.Apartfromtheregularcoursework,theengineeringdrawingsweretoughandtheexperimentstedious.NottomentionthatIhadtomanageeverythingalone.Therewasbarelyanytimetowrite.TheyearsflewbyandIwrotelessandless,butIreadmoreandmore.My
inclinationtowardsreadingwasaugmentedbymyhusband’sloveforit.Sincethedaywemet,hehasbeengiftingmebooksandcontinuestodosoeventoday.Thereisalwaysabriefmessageonthefirstpageofeachgift:‘ToYou,FromMe’.Wereadsomebookstogether,especiallybiographiesandhumour.ButIwasalsointerestedinothersubjectssuchashistory,technologyandanthropologywhileMurthywasmoremotivatedtowardsreadingaboutcommunismandcoding.Therewasaninherentshortageofmoneybutthedesiretoreadmorebooks
remainedasstrongasever.So,MurthyandIdecidedtosetasideabudgetofthreehundredrupeesamonthtopurchasebooksfromtheonce-iconicStrand
BookStall.Thatwasallthatwecouldaffordbackthen,andwewouldsavethismoneybycuttingdownonexpensesinotherareas—wewouldtravelonlyincrowdedbusesandlocaltrainsandcookandcleanathome.Thathelpedussavethemoneyweneededforthebooks.Buteventhen,thisbudgetwasn’tenoughforme.Duringthosedays,shopkeeperswouldfrownatcustomerswhospentalotoftimesimplybrowsingthroughbooks.‘Pleasedon’ttouchthebooksifyoudon’tintendtobuythembecausethentheywillstartlookingusedandoldandapotentialcustomerwillnotwanttobuythem,’theywouldsay.So,Iwouldstandatadistanceandstareatthebookswithgreedyeyes.In1979,Ihadverylittlemoneybutalotofspirit.So,offIwenttoAmerica
allalonewithabackpack.OnelateeveninginNewYork,twopolicemenflaggedmedownsuspectingthatIwascarryingdrugsinmyobviouslyheavybag.Whentheyscannedmybag,alltheyfoundwaswhatIwastrulyaddictedto—curdrice!TheyweresosurprisedattheirfindingthatIhadtoexplainwhereIwasfromandthesignificanceofcurdriceinsouthIndia.Manymoreofsuchdaringincidentsmarkedmyjourney.WhenIcamebackto
India,IwroteaboutmyadventuresinKannada,titledmywriting‘FrombeyondtheAtlantic’,andkeptitaside.Thethoughtofpublishingitnevercrossedmymind.Morethanayearlater,Iwasspeakingtomyfatheraboutmyadventuresand
mywritingwhenhesuggested,‘Whydon’tyougoaheadandpublishthisasabook?Youalreadyknowhowrareitisforyounggirlsfromourareatogobackpackingtoanunknownland.Itissuretobeauniquebookforthatreasonalone.’Iwasn’tpreparedforthatthought.Me:anauthor?WhenIthoughtofthe
word,IwasusuallyremindedofpeoplelikeJeromeK.Jerome,P.G.Wodehouse,V.S.Naipaul,Jean-PaulSartreandKannadawriterssuchasTriveniandBhyrappa.Anauthormustbeofthatcalibre,orsoIthought.Ifeltsillyandstrangejustatthethoughtthatsomeoneasordinaryasmewasthinkingofbecominganauthor.Ibroodedoveritforafewdaysuntilthefeelingsettled.ThenIwondered:‘Is
thereanythingwronginsendingmymanuscripttoapublisher?Theworstthatcouldhappenisthattheywouldrejectmywork.ButIamusedtorejection,amInot?’
Withbravadoinmyheart,IapproachedapopularKannadapublishinghousecalledManoharaGranthaMala,whoselegendaryfounderG.B.Joshiwasknownforgivingnewcomersabreak.AmongtheauthorswhohadstartedoutthiswaywereGirishKarnadandM.K.Indira.IspokehesitantlytoMrJoshiandgavehimmymanuscript,whosaidthathewouldcontactmewithintwodays.Forty-eighthourslater,Iwasimpatientandtense.Myfeelingsatthattimeweresomewhatsimilartogoingthroughlabourduringapregnancy.Finally,heinformedmethathewouldpublishmymanuscript.HeneverspokeofroyaltyandIdidnotaskforit.Thatday,myfamilyandIcelebratedasifIhadbecomeaprominentauthoralready.Nevertheless,itwasafirst.Iwasthefirstauthorinmyfamilyofseventy-fivefirstandsecondcousins,auntsanduncles.Muchlikeapregnancy,thebooktooktenmonthstoreachthemarket.WhenI
heardofthisdevelopment,ItookabusfromHublitoDharwadtoacceptmyfirstbrainchildfromthepublisherandreceivedthefirsttwentycopieswithgreataffection.Iwasthrilled!IwonderedhowIwoulddistributethesecopiesamongmybigfamily.Inthe
end,Igaveafewcopiestomyparents-in-law,afewmoretomyfriendsandkeptthreewithmyself.Theremainingcopieswereexhaustedquickly.Somefriendscongratulatedmeandbroughtboxesofsweets.Otherssaidwithpride,‘Wehadnocluethatanengineercouldturnintoawritertoo!Weareveryhappy!’Afewremarked,‘EvenwewouldhavewrittenabookhadwegonetoAmericaandreturned.Youneedmoneytotravelandwriteabook.’Thefirstbookfinallygavemethetitleofbeinganauthorandmademewant
more.In1979,whenIwasinJamshedpur,theninBihar,fortwomonths,Ifound
myselfallaloneinthecompanyguesthouse.ItwasthenthatIconceivedtheideaformynextbook.Icamefromamiddle-classbackgroundandwasquitefascinatedbyhowrichwomenledtheirlives,especiallythosewhosehusbandswereperpetuallybusywithbusiness.Idecidedtousethisfascinationandsomeofmyimaginationforthisnovel.IreturnedtoMumbaiwiththeideastilllingeringinmymind.WhenIranthe
ideapastMrMurthy,hegavemeablankstare.‘Ican’thelpyouthere,I’mafraid.IamneitherrichnoramIalady.’
So,thatwasthat.Aftersomethought,Imadesomeinquirieswithvariouscolleaguesatworkandobservedthe‘rich’womenthatIcouldseeonJuhubeach,intowwiththeirchildrenandayahs.Theresultoftheimaginationandresearchledtomyfirstnovel,Athirikthe,in
Kannada.AsIwroteit,Iallowedmyselftoentertheleadcharacter’smindandfeelthejoyandpainofhercircumstances.Attheend,Ihadtomakeanefforttoexitfromthecharacter’slifeandreturntomyown.ThusbeganmyjourneyinKannadaliterature.Thistime,IwentthroughanotherpublisherwhowaslocatedinMysore.Icontinuedtowrite.Mysubsequentnovels,however,wererejected.Ifigured
thatifIwantedtograbmoreeyeballs,Imusttrymyhandatwritingaseriesforanewspaper.Tomysurprise,eventhesewererejected.Somepapersdidnotrespondatallwhileotherssaidthatmywritingwasn’tseriesmaterial.Yearspassed,andIcontinuedtoreadavidly.Oneday,IwenttoaweddingwhereIsawayounggirlwithleucoderma
sittinginfrontofme,havingameal.Justthen,someonefromthefamilycameandsaidtoher,‘Youcannotsitherewiththeothers.Youhaveleucoderma.Pleasegetup.’Humiliated,thegirlcriedandleftimmediately.Thisbehaviourhurtme.IamthedaughterofadoctorandIknowthatunlike
leprosy,leucodermaisonlyacosmeticdisease.Itisnotcontagiousandnotproventobehereditaryeither.Thenwhydopeoplebehavethiswaywithfellowbeings?Theincidentprovokedmeintoundertakingsomeresearch.AsIspoketo
people,Irealizedthatmanyengagementswerebrokenandmarriagescalledoff,especiallyincaseswhereoneormoreofthebride’srelativeshadthediseasebutshedidnot.Ihadlongchatswithdermatologistsandrebelledstronglyagainstthisheinoustreatmentwhichdoesnothingbutkillconfidence.Forthefirsttimeinmylife,Ithoughtofwritingaboutthistocreate
awareness,butintheformofastory.ThisishowmynovelMahashwetawasborn.Many,manyyearslater,Iwasatanotherwedding.Tomypleasantsurprise,
thegroomcameuptomeandsaid,‘IhavereadMahashwetaandtodayIam
marryingagirlwhohasleucoderma.Thebookcompletelychangedmyperspective.’ItwasthedaythatIrealizedthatperhapsIcouldmakeadifferenceifI
continuedtowriteaboutissuesIwaspassionateabout.Intheseventiesandtheeighties,goingtoAmericawasanoutstanding
achievement.Indiawasn’tclosetoliberalizationyetandthenumberofjobopportunitieswasverylowinthecountry.TheAmericandollar,however,wasamagicwand—onedollarequalledtenrupees.PeoplewhosettledthereandcamebacktoIndiaforavacationalmostalwayslookeddownuponthosehere.EventhelocalfamiliesdifferentiatedbetweenthechildrenandgrandchildrenwhowereintheUSandthosewhostayedhere.ItwasbutnaturalthatthewivesanddaughterswholivedinAmericagotmuchmoreattentionandimportance.ButIknewbythenthatlifeinAmericawasn’tasgreenasitwasmadeoutto
be.Livingtherewasn’tdevoidofstruggles.So,IwroteDollarBahu(orDollarSose)inKannada.Themanuscriptfirst
becameaseriesinanewspaper,thenabookandthenatelevisionseries.ItwaseventranslatedintoItalianalongwithotherIndianlanguages.Today,itisstillwidelyavailableinbookshops.MyjourneywithKannadacontinued,andthethoughtofwritinginEnglish
didn’tevencrossmymind.Theyear1980markedmyveryfirstbooklaunchforAtlanticadacheyinda.
TheeventwasheldatMayoHallinBangalore.Tome,itwaslikeasmallweddingsignifyingthemarriageofmybooktothepublisher.Iinvitedmanypeople.Allkithandkinfondofliteraturecameforthelaunch,includingsomeofmywonderfulfriendswhocouldn’tevenreadKannada.ButtheylovedmeandwereproudofthefactthatIwasanauthor.OneofthemgiftedmeasilveridolofSaraswati,thegoddessandsymbolofknowledge.Forthefirsttime,andwhatIthoughtmayalsobethelast,Istoodonstage,spoketomyreadersandexpressedmyloveforbooksandKannada.LittledidIknowthatthiswouldbethefirstofmanypublicevents.Oneday,T.J.S.George,theeditoroftheNewIndianExpress,sentwordthatI
shouldwritemycolumnsinEnglish.Hesimplysaid,‘Alanguageisbutavehicle.It’sthepersoninsidewho’sweavingthestorythat’smoreimportant.
Youareastoryteller.So,justgetonwithyourstoryandthelanguagewillfallintoplace.’Withhiskindwordsandencouragement,IbeganwritinginEnglish.My
columns,named‘Episodes’,startedtoappearintheNewIndianExpresson12November2000.IwasinShimogathedayIheardsomeoneinahotelsay,‘SudhaMurtyhaswrittenacolumninEnglish.’Instantly,IwaselevatedtobeinganEnglishwriterbyastranger.Ittookmesometimetobelievethatpeoplewantedtoreadmycolumns.ThisjourneycontinuedwithotheravenuesliketheTimesofIndia,TheHinduandtheWeek.OneadvantageofwritinginEnglishwasthatitledmetoformfriendships
withpeoplefromdifferentstatesandwalksoflife.OneofthoseturnedouttobethelatePresidentA.P.J.AbdulKalam.Thiswas2001,andhewasn’tourPresidentyet.HewasascientistattheDefenceResearchandDevelopmentOrganization(DRDO).HehappenedtoreadoneofmycolumnsintheWeek,anIndiannewsmagazine,andsaidthatthehumourinmywritingwasniceandthemessagestrong.HeaskedhowIhadlearnttheartofendinganarticlewithagistofthestoryandexpressedinterestinmeetingme.Ayearlater,myfirstbookinEnglishcameoutasacollectionofmycolumns
thankstoGeorge,whointroducedmetoEastWestBooksPvt.LtdinChennai.George,withhisgenuineencouragement,wrotetheforewordforthebookandgaveitanenchantingtitle:WiseandOtherwise.IrealizedthatwhenabookisreleasedinEnglish,itisreadbymorepeople
andtranslationsintoregionallanguageshappenmoreeasily.Today,mybookshavebeentranslatedintoallmajorIndianlanguagesandarereadinmoststatesofIndia.Astheyearspassed,theInfosysFoundation’sworkprovidedmewith
experiencesthatenlargedmycanvasevenasthewritingcontinued.Iapproachedmanypublisherswhorejectedmymanuscripts.Theysaid,‘Yourlanguageistoosimple.Itisnotfloweryorsophisticatedandcomesacrossastoosimpleandevennaive.Ouropinionisthatpeoplewillnotappreciateit.’Afewsuggested,‘YoutellyourstorytosomeonewhohasagoodcommandovertheEnglishlanguage.Theywillrewriteitand,together,youbothcanco-author.’ButIdidn’tagree.Iwantedtokeepmystyledistinctiveandportrayitexactly
thewayIam.
Alongtheway,Irealizedtheimportanceofagoodeditor—someonewhocantakethebooktogreaterheights.Ihavelearntthatagreateditormustbeareflectionoftheauthor,someonewhounderstandstheauthor.IamextremelyluckytohavefoundthesequalitiesinmyyoungandbrighteditorShrutkeertiKhurana,whoisatalentedengineerandamanagementgraduatewithanimmenselovefortheEnglishlanguage.IhaveknownShruteesincethedayshewasbornbecauseIwasfriendswithherparentseventhen.Ihaveseenhergrowingup,shehasseenmegettingold,andourbondhasdeepenedwitheachpassingdayovertheyears.Shereadsmymind,tellsmefranklywhereIamwrong,wheresheisgettingboredwithmywritingandeditsasrequired.Inadditiontowork,webothlovereadinganddiscusscountlessthings—thingsthatarehere,thereandeverywhere.Ialsowanttothankmywonderfulfamilywhoknewofmyloveforwriting
andunderstooditandallowedmetoprioritizeitovertheirneeds.Intime,PenguinRandomHousebecamemysoleEnglishpublisher.Iwasalso
fortunateenoughtogetinterestfrompublisherswhoworkedinregionallanguages,andIhaveremainedwiththemsincethebeginning.FortheMarathilanguage,thereisMehtaPublishingHouseinPune,R.R.ShethinAhmedabadforGujarati,PrabhatPrakashaninDelhiforHinditranslations,DCBooksinKottayamforMalayalamandAlakanandaPrachuranaluinVijayawadaforTelugutranslations,amongothers.Oneday,IreceivedanemailfromaGujaratireaderwhoasked,‘SudhaBen,
youlooklikeaGujaratiandyoueveneatlikeone.Yourbooksarereallywonderful.Iamverycurious:howdidyougetmarriedtoasouthIndian?’Theemailmademesmile.IrespondedtothereaderthatIwasasouthIndian
myselfandthatthequalityofthetranslationsinGujaratiwassogoodthatshethoughtthatIbelongedtoherland.Duringoneofmyinternationaltrips,Iwaspleasantlysurprisedtocome
acrossmybooksinNewJersey.AsIbeamedandpickedoneofthemup,theGujaratishopkeeperlookedatmeandcommented,‘Takeit.Sarasche.’HemeantthatthebookwasniceandthatIshouldbuyit.Happily,Inodded.AsIheardmynamebeingcalledonstageagainfortheLifetimeAchievement
Award,mymindreturnedtothepresentandIslowlyclimbedthestepsleading
uptothestage.Eachstepwasareminderofthejourneythathaslastedoverfortyyears.Itwasajourneyfilledwithrejections,negativecommentsanddisapprovals,alongwithappreciation,alotofloveandaffection.IhopethatIhavesomehowbeenthevoiceforpeoplewhoremainshy,hidden,unknownandyearnforanoutletoftheirexpression.Ihavelostcountofthenumberoftimespeoplehavesaidtome,‘Ican’twrite.
ButIwanttosharemystory.Willyouwriteitandshareitwiththeworld?’Someofmystudentshavefrequentlyremarked,‘Madam,eachofushas
falteredandmademistakesduringthecourseofourlives.Wedon’twantthenextgenerationtogothroughtryingtimesthatcanbeavoidedwithjustalittlebitofadviceandwisdom.Willyoutellourstoriesinyourbook?’Iamalwayshesitant.Idon’twanttotakeanyone’sprivacyforgrantedor
shareanythingwithouthisorherpermissionandfaith.Butpowerfulstories,nomatterwheretheycomefrom,aremeanttobetold.So,Ifancymyselfasonlyacarrier.MyvastexperiencewiththetrulyunderprivilegedinIndia,mypublisherswho
hadunwaveringfaithinme,myexcellenteditorandmyreadershavemademewhatIamtoday.So,myjourneyisnotminealone.Itisalsoaboutthepeoplearoundme.There’sapartofmethatrealizesthatmywritingemanatesfromSaraswati,thegoddessofknowledge,learningandwriting,andthatIamonlyherscribe.Withoutherassentandblessing,Ican’twriteevenoneline.Today,Ihavearésuméoftwenty-ninebooksandamabilingualwriterinboth
EnglishandKannadawithwritingsacrosscategoriessuchasnovels,non-fiction,fiction,children’sbooks,traveloguesandtechnicalbooks.MybookshavebeentranslatedintotwentylanguagesandoneBraillesystem.Thisbookismy200th
title.Asmanyas26millioncopiesofmybookshavebeensold,ofwhich1.5millionareinEnglishalone.ButIhavealsolearntthehardwaythatnothingsucceedslikesuccess.The
proof,I’vebeentold,liesinthesalesandthenumberofreprintssoldinthelastdecadeandmore.Despitethenumbers,IknowthatIamnotanauthorfortheEnglisheliteandthatIcannotspinwordslikethebooksfromtheWestorsomeIndianauthors.ButEnglishisnolongeralanguagemeantonlyfortheelite,asitwasinthedaysbefore.Somehow,thecommonpeopleofIndiahavefoundawaytowelcomeEnglishintotheirdailylives,andthatincludesmetoo.Icanonly
tellstoriesfromtheheartandinasimplemanner.That’sallIreallyknow,andthatisalsotheonlythingintheworldthatistrulymine.
2
‘Amma,WhatIsYourDuty?’
Atthattime,mydaughter,Akshata,wasateenager.Bynatureshewasverysensitive.Onherown,shestartedreadingforblindchildrenatRamanaMaharishiAcademyfortheBlindatBangalore.Shewasascribetoo.Sheusedtocomehomeandtellmeabouttheworldofblindpeople.Latershewroteanessayonthem,called‘ISawtheWorldthroughtheBlindEyesofMary’.Marywasastudentattheacademywhowasabouttoappearforthepre-universityexam.Once,AkshatatookMarytoLalbaghforachange.Theconversationbetweenthemwasquiteunusual.‘Mary,therearedifferenttypesofredrosesinthispark,’Akshatatoldher.Marywassurprised.‘Akshata,whatdoyoumeanbyred?’Akshatadidnotknowhowtoexplainwhatwasred.Shetookaroseanda
jasmine,andgavethemtoMary.‘Mary,smellthesetwoflowersinyourhand.Theyhavedifferentsmells.The
firstoneisarose.Itisredincolour.Thesecondoneisjasmine.Itiswhite.Mary,itisdifficulttoexplainwhatisredandwhatiswhite.ButIcantellyouthatinthisworldtherearemanycolours,whichcanbeseenanddifferentiatedonlythroughtheeyesandnotbytouch.Iamsorry.’AfterthatincidentAkshatatoldme,‘Amma,nevertalkaboutcolourswhen
youtalktoblindpeople.Theyfeelfrustrated.IfeltsohelplesswhenIwastrying
toexplaintoMary.NowIalwaysdescribetheworldtothembydescribingsmellsandsoundswhichtheyunderstandeasily.’AkshataalsousedtohelpablindboycalledAnandSharmaatthisschool.He
wastheonlychildofaschoolteacherfromBihar.Hewasbrightandjolly.Hewasabouttoappearforhissecondpre-universityexam.Oneday,Iwasheadingforanexaminationcommitteemeeting.Atthattime,I
washeadofthedepartmentofcomputerscienceatalocalcollege.ItwasalmosttheendofFebruary.Winterwasslowlyendingandtherewasatraceofsummersettingin.Bangaloreisblessedwithbeautifulweather.Themanytreesliningtheroadswerefloweringandthecitywasswathedindifferentshadesofviolet,yellowandred.Iwasbusygettingreadytoattendthemeeting,henceIwascollectingold
syllabi,questionpapersandreferencebooks.Akshatacameupstairstomyroom.Shelookedworriedandtired.Shewasthenstudyinginclassten.Ithoughtshewastiredpreparingforherexams.Asamother,Ihaveneverinsistedmychildrenstudytoomuch.Myparentsneverdidthat.Theyalwaysbelievedthechildhastoberesponsible.Aresponsiblechildwillsitdowntostudyonhisorherown.ItoldAkshata,‘Don’tworryabouttheexams.Tryingisinyourhands.The
resultsarenotwithyou.’Shewasannoyedandirritatedbymyadvice.‘Amma,Ididn’ttalkaboutanyexamination.Whyareyouremindingmeofthat?’Iwassurprisedatherirritation.ButIwasalsobusygatheringoldquestion
paperssoIdidnotsayanything.Absently,Ilookedatherface.Wasthereatraceofsadnessonit?Orwasitmyimagination?‘Amma,youknowAnandSharma.Hecametoourhouseonce.Heisabright
boy.Iamconfidentthathewilldoverywellinhisfinalexamination.Heisalsoconfidentaboutit.Hewantstostudyfurther.’Shestopped.BythistimeIhadfoundtheoldquestionpapersIhadbeen
lookingfor,butnotthesyllabus.Mysearchwason.Akshatastoodfacingmeandcontinued,‘Amma,hewantstostudyatStStephen’sinDelhi.Hedoesnothaveanybody.Heispoor.Itisanexpensiveplace.Whatshouldhedo?Whowillsupporthim?Iamworried.’ItwasgettinglateformymeetingsoIcasuallyremarked,‘Akshata,whydon’t
yousupporthim?’
‘Amma,wheredoIhavethemoneytosupportaboyinaDelhihostel?’Mysearchwasstillon.‘Youcanforfeityourbirthdaypartyandsavemoneyandsponsorhim.’Athome,evennowbothourchildrendonotgetpocketmoney.Whenever
theywanttobuyanythingtheyaskmeandIgivethemoney.Wedon’thavebigbirthdayparties.Akshata’sbirthdaypartywouldmeancallingafewofherfriendstothehouseandorderingfoodfromthenearbyfast-foodjoint,ShanthiSagar.‘Amma,whenaneducatedpersonlikeyou,welltravelled,wellreadand
withoutloveformoneydoesnothelppoorpeople,thendon’texpectanyoneelsetodo.Isitnotyourdutytogivebacktothoseunfortunatepeople?Whatareyoulookingforinlife?Areyoulookingforglamourorfame?Youarethedaughterofadoctor,granddaughterofaschoolteacherandcomefromadistinguishedteachingfamily.Ifyoucannothelppoorpeoplethendon’texpectanyoneelsetodoit.’Herwordsmademeabandonmysearch.Iturnedaroundandlookedatmy
daughter.Isawasensitiveyounggirlpleadingforthefutureofapoorblindboy.Orwasshesomeoneremindingmeofmydutytowardssociety?IhadreceivedsomuchfromthatsocietyandcountrybutinwhatwaywasIgivingback?ForaminuteIwasfrozen.ThenIrealizedIwasholdingthesyllabusIwaslookingforinmyhandanditwasgettinglateforthemeeting.Akshatawentawaywithangerandsadnessinhereyes.Itooleftforcollegein
aconfusedstateofmind.WhenIreached,Isawthatasusualthemeetingwasdelayed.NowIwasall
alone.Isettleddowninmychairinoneoftheloftyroomsofthecollege.Thereisadifferencebetweenlonelinessandsolitude.Lonelinessisboring,whereasinsolitudeyoucaninspectandexamineyourdeedsandyourthoughts.Isatandrecollectedwhathadhappenedthatafternoon.Akshata’swordswere
stillringinginmymind.Iwasforty-fiveyearsold.Whatwasmydutyatthisage?WhatwasIlooking
forinlife?Ididnotstartoutinlifewithalotofmoney.Agreatdealofhardworkhad
beenputintogettowhereweweretoday.WhathadIlearntfromthehardjourneythatwasmylife?DidIworkformoney,fameorglamour?No,Ididnot
workforthose;theycameaccidentallytome.InitiallyIworkedformyself,excellinginstudies.AfterthatIwasdevotedtoInfosysandmyfamily.Shouldnottheremainingpartofmylifebeusedtohelpthosepeoplewhoweresufferingfornofaultoftheirs?Wasthatnotmyduty?SuddenlyIrememberedJRD’spartingadvicetome:‘Givebacktosociety.’IdecidedthatwaswhatIwasgoingtodofortherestofmylife.Ifeltrelieved
andyearsyounger.Ifirmlybelievenodecisionshouldbetakenemotionally.Itshouldbetaken
withacoolmindandwhenyouareawareoftheconsequences.Afteraweek,Iwrotemyresignationletterasheadofthedepartmentandoptedonlyforateacher’spost.IamevergratefultoAkshataforhelpingtobringthishappinessand
satisfactiontomyworkandlife.ItmeansmoretomethanthegoodranksIgotinschool,andmywealth.WhenIseehopeintheeyesofadestituteperson,seethewarmsmileonthe
facesofoncehelplesspeople,Ifeelsosatisfied.TheytellmethatIammakingadifference.IjoinedtheInfosysFoundationasafoundertrustee.Thefoundationtookupa
numberofphilanthropicprojectsforthebenefitofthepoorindifferentstatesofIndia.Ireceivedmanyawardsonvariousoccasions.OneofthemwastheEconomic
TimesAwardgiventotheInfosysFoundation.AsatrusteeIwasinvitedtoreceivethisaward.AtthattimeIrememberedmyguru.NowshewasastudentintheUS.Itoldher,‘AtleastforonedayyoumustcomeforthisawardceremonyinMumbai.Ifyouhadnotwokenmeupattherighttime,Iwouldnothavebeenreceivingittoday.Iwantyoutobepresent.’IwillremainindebtedtoAkshataforeverforthewayshemademechangemy
lifeandthelessonshetaughtme.
3
HonestyComesfromtheHeart
OnebrightJunemorningthreeyearsago,IwasreadingmyKannadanewspaperasusual.ItwasthedaytheSecondarySchoolLeavingCertificateresultshadbeenpublished.Whilecolumnsofrollnumbersfilledtheinsidepages,thelistofrankholdersandtheirphotographstookupalmosttheentirefrontpage.Ihaveagreatfascinationforrankholders.Rankisnotmerelyanindexof
one’sintelligence,italsoindicatesthehardworkandperseverancethatstudentshaveputintoreachtheirgoal.Mybackground—Iwasbroughtupinaprofessor’sfamily—andmyownexperienceasateacherhaveledmetobelievethis.Ofallthephotographsinthatmorning’snewspaper,oneboy’ssnapshot
caughtmyattention.Icouldnottakemyeyesoffhim.Hewasfrailandpale,buttherewasanendearingsparkleinhiseyes.Iwantedtoknowmoreabouthim.IreadthathisnamewasHanumanthappaandthathehadsecuredtheeighthrank.ThatwasalltheinformationIcouldgather.Thenextday,tomysurprise,hisphotographwaspublishedagain,thistime
withaninterview.WithgrowinginterestIlearntthatHanumanthappawasacoolie’sson,theoldestoffivechildren.Theybelongedtoatribalgroup.Hewasunabletostudyfurther,hesaidintheinterview,becausehelivedinavillageandhisfather,thesolebreadwinner,earnedonlyRs40aday.
Ifeltsorryforthisbrightboy.Mostofussendourchildrentotuitionsandtocoachingclasses,webuythemreferencebooksandguides,andprovidethebestpossiblefacilitiesforthemwithoutconsideringthecost.ButitwasdifferentforHanumanthappaofRampura.Hehadexcelledinspiteofbeingdeniedsomeofthebasicnecessitiesoflife.WhileIwasthinkingabouthimwiththenewspaperstillinmyhands,Igazed
atamangotreeinmyneighbour’scompound.Itlookeditsbestwithafreshbark,tendergreenleavesglisteningwithdewdropsandmangoesthatwereabouttoripeninafewdays.Beyondthetreewasasmallpottedplantthat,Inoticed,hadremainedalmostthesameeversinceithadbeenpotted.Itwasacalmmorning.Theairwascoolandfresh.Mythoughtswererunningfree.Thecontinuouswhistleofourpressurecookerbrokethesilence,remindingmethathalfanhourhadpassed.Hanumanthappa’spostaladdresswasprovidedintheinterview.Without
wastingmuchtime,Itookapostcardandwrotetohim.Iwroteonlytwolines,sayingthatIwasinterestedinmeetinghimandaskingwhetherhecouldcometoBangalore.Justthenmyfather,everapracticalman,returnedfromhismorningwalk.Hereadthepostcardandsaid,‘Wherewillhehavethemoneytocomesofar?Ifyouwanthimtocomehere,sendsomemoneyforhisbusfareplusalittleextratobuyhimselfadecentsetofclothes.’SoIaddedathirdlinetosaythatIwouldpayforhistravelandsomeclothes.
WithinfourdaysIreceivedasimilarpostcardinreply.Twosentences:inthefirsthethankedmefortheletter,inthesecondheexpressedhiswillingnesstocometoBangaloreandmeetme.Immediately,Isenthimsomemoneyanddetailsofmyofficeaddress.Whenhefinallyarrivedinouroffice,helookedlikeafrightenedcalfthathad
lostitsway.ItmusthavebeenhisfirsttriptoBangalore.Hewashumble.Heworeacleanshirtandtrousers,andhishairwasneatlypartedandcombed.Thesparkleinhiseyeswasstillthere.Igotstraighttothepoint.‘Wearehappyaboutyouracademicperformance.
Doyouwanttostudyfurther?Wewouldliketosponsoryou.Thismeanswewillpayyourfeesforanycourseofstudyyouwishtotakeup—whereveritmaybe.’Hedidnotanswer.
Myseniorcolleague,whowasintheofficewithme,interruptedwithasmile,‘Don’tgoatthespeedofbitsandbytes.Lettheboyunderstandwhatyouaresuggesting.Hecangiveushisanswerattheendoftheday.’WhenHanumanthappawasreadytoreturnhome,hesaidinalowandsteady
tone,‘Madam,IwanttopursuemystudiesattheTeachers’TrainingCollegeinBellary.Thatistheonenearesttomyvillage.’Iagreedinstantlybutspoketohimalittlemoretofindoutwhethertherewas
anyothercoursehepreferred.Iwastryingtomakeitcleartohimthatwewouldpaythefeesforanycoursehemightchoose.Theboy,however,seemedtoknowexactlywhathewanted.‘HowmuchmoneyshouldIsendyoupermonth?Doesthecollegehavea
hostelfacility?’Iasked.Hesaidhewouldgetbacktomeaftercollectingthecorrectdetails.Twodays
later,hewrotetousinhisbeautifulhandwritingthathewouldrequireapproximatelyRs300permonth.Heplannedtotakearoomonrentandshareitwithafriend.Thetwoboyswouldcookforthemselvesinordertokeeptheirexpensesdown.IsenthimRs1800tocoverhisexpensesforsixmonths.Heacknowledged
mydraftwithoutdelayandexpressedhisgratitude.Timepassed.Oneday,IsuddenlyrememberedthatIhadtopay
Hanumanthappaforthenextsixmonths,soIsenthimanotherdraftforRs1800.Thistoowasdulyacknowledged,butIwassurprisedtofindsomecurrency
notesintheenvelopealongwithhisletter.‘Madam,’hehadwritten,‘itiskindofyoutohavesentmemoneyforthenextsixmonths.ButIwasnotinBellaryforthelasttwomonths.Onemonth,ourcollegewasclosedforholidaysandduringthenextmonth,therewasastrike.SoIstayedathomeforthosetwomonths.MyexpenditureduringthesemonthswaslessthanRs300permonth.Therefore,IamsendingyoutheRs300thatIhavenotusedforthelasttwomonths.Kindlyacceptthisamount.’Iwastakenaback.Suchpovertyandyetsuchhonesty.Hanumanthappaknew
Iexpectednoaccountofthemoneysenttohimforhismonthlyexpenses,yethehadmadeitapointtoreturnthebalanceamount.Unbelievablebuttrue!Experiencehastaughtmethathonestyisnotthemarkofanyparticularclass
norisitrelatedtoeducationorwealth.Itcannotbetaughtatanyuniversity.In
mostpeople,itspringsnaturallyfromtheheart.Ididnotknowhowtoreacttothissimplevillageboy’shonesty.Ijustprayed
thatGodwouldcontinuetobestowthebestonHanumanthappaandhisfamily.
4
TheRedRiceGranary
Everyyear,ourcountryhastofacenaturaldisastersinsomeform.ItmaybeanearthquakeinGujarat,floodsinOrissaoradroughtinKarnataka.Inapoorcountry,thesecalamitiescausehavoc.Inthecourseofmywork,Ihavefoundthataftersuchcalamities,manypeople
liketodonatemoneyormaterialstorelieffunds.Weassumethatmostdonationscomefromrichpeople,butthatisnottrue.Onthecontrary,peoplefromthemiddleclassandthelowermiddleclasshelpmore.Rarelydorichpeopleparticipatewholeheartedly.Afewyearsback,IwasinvitedtoareputedcompanyinBangaloretodeliver
alectureoncorporatesocialresponsibility.Givingaspeechiseasy.ButIwasnotsurehowmanypeopleintheaudiencewouldreallyunderstandthespeechandchangethemselves.Aftermytalkwasover,Imetmanyyounggirlsandboys.Itwasanaffluent
companyandtheemployeeswerewelloffandwelldressed.Theywereallveryemotionalafterthelecture.‘Madam,webuysomanyclotheseverymonth.Canwedonateouroldclothes
tothosepeoplewhoareaffectedbytheearthquake?Canyoucoordinateandsendthesetothem?’Someofthemofferedotherthings.
‘Wehavegrown-upchildren,wewouldliketogivetheiroldtoysandsomevessels.’Iwasverypleasedatthereaction.Itremindedmeoftheincidentinthe
Ramayanawhere,duringtheconstructionofthebridgebetweenIndiaandLanka,everysquirrelhelpedSriRamabybringingahandfulofsand.‘Pleasesendyourbagstomyoffice.Iwillseethattheyreachtheright
persons.’Withinaweek,myofficewasfloodedwithhundredsofbags.Iwasproudthat
mylecturehadprovensoeffective.OneSunday,alongwithmyassistants,Iopenedthebags.Whatwesawleftus
amazedandshocked.Thebagswerebrimmingwithallkindsofjunk!Pilesofhigh-heeledslippers(someofthemwithoutthepair),tornundergarments,unwashedshirts,cheap,transparentsaris,toyswhichhadneithershapenorcolour,unusablebedsheets,aluminiumvesselsandbrokencassettesweresoonpiledinfrontofuslikeamountain.Therewereonlyafewgoodshirts,sarisandusablematerials.Itwasapparentthatinsteadofsendingthematerialtoagarbagedumporthekabariwala,thesepeoplehadtransferredthemtomyofficeinthenameofdonation.ThemenandwomenIhadmetthatdaywerebright,well-travelled,well-offpeople.Ifeducatedpeoplelikethembehavedlikethis,whatwoulduneducatedpeopledo?ButthenIwasremindedofanincidentfrommychildhood.Iwasbornand
broughtupinavillagecalledShiggaoninKarnataka’sHaveridistrict.Mygrandfatherwasaretiredschoolteacherandmygrandmother,Krishtakka,neverwenttoschool.BothofthemhardlytravelledandhadneversteppedoutofKarnataka.Yet,theywerehard-workingpeople,whodidtheirworkwholeheartedlywithoutexpectinganythingfromanybodyintheirlife.Theirphotographsneverappearedinanypaper,nordidtheygouponstagetoreceiveaprizefortheworktheydid.Theylivedlikeflowerswithfragranceintheforest,enchantingeveryonearoundthem,buthardlynoticedbytheoutsideworld.Inthevillagewehadpaddyfieldsandweusedtostorethepaddyingranaries.
Thereweretwogranaries.Onewasinthefrontandtheotheratthebackofourhouse.Thebetter-qualityrice,whichwaswhite,wasalwaysstoredinthefront
granaryandtheinferiorquality,whichwasalittlethickandred,wasstoredinthegranaryattheback.Inthosedays,therewasnocommunaldivideinthevillage.Peoplefrom
differentcommunitieslivedtogetherinpeace.Manywouldcometoourhousetoaskforalms.TherewereMuslimfakirs,Hindudasaiahswhoroamedthecountrysidesingingdevotionalsongs,YellammaJogathiswhoappearedholdingtheimageofGoddessYellammaovertheirheads,poorstudentsandinvalidpeople.Weneverhadtoomuchcashinthehouseandtheonlyhelpmygrandfather
couldgivethesepeoplewasintheformofrice.Peoplewhoreceivehelpdonottalktoomuch.Theywouldreceivetherice,smileandraisetheirrighthandtoblessus.Irrespectiveoftheirreligion,theblessingwasalways‘MayGodblessyou.’Mygrandfatheralwayslookedhappyaftergivingthemalms.Iwasalittlegirlthenandnottootall.Sincetheentrancetothefrontgranary
waslow,itwasdifficultforgrown-upstoenter.SoIwouldbegivenasmallbucketandsentinside.ThereIusedtofillupthebucketwithriceandgiveittothem.Theywouldtellmehowmanymeasurestheywanted.Intheevening,mygrandmotherusedtocookforeverybody.Thattimeshe
wouldsendmetothegranaryatthebackofthehousewheretheredricewasstored.Iwouldagainfillupthebucketwithasmuchriceasshewantedandgetitforhertocookourdinner.Thiswentonformanyyears.WhenIwasalittleolder,Iaskedmy
grandparentsaquestionthathadbeenbotheringmeforlong.‘Whyshouldweeattheredricealwaysatnightwhenitisnotsogood,and
givethosepoorpeoplethebetter-qualityrice?’MygrandmothersmiledandtoldmesomethingIwillneverforgetinmylife.‘Child,wheneveryouwanttogivesomethingtosomebody,givethebestin
you,neverthesecondbest.ThatiswhatIhavelearntfromlife.Godisnotthereinthetemple,mosqueorchurch.Heiswiththepeople.Ifyouservethemwithwhateveryouhave,youhaveservedGod.’Mygrandfatheransweredmyquestioninadifferentway.‘OurancestorshavetaughtusintheVedasthatoneshould:‘Donatewithkindwords.‘Donatewithhappiness.
‘Donatewithsincerity.‘Donateonlytotheneedy.‘Donatewithoutexpectationbecauseitisnotagift.Itisaduty.‘Donatewithyourwife’sconsent.‘Donatetootherpeoplewithoutmakingyourdependantshelpless.‘Donatewithoutcaringforcaste,creedandreligion.‘Donatesothatthereceiverprospers.’Thislessonfrommygrandparents,toldtomewhenIwasjustalittlegirl,has
stayedwithmeeversince.IfatallIamhelpinganyonetoday,itisbecauseoftheteachingsofthosesimplesouls.Ididnotlearntheminanyschoolorcollege.
5
LazyPortado
Portadowasayoung,bright,handsomeandsweetboyfromGoa.WewereinB.V.B.CollegeofEngineeringatHubli.Hehadbeenmyclassmateandlabpartnerthroughoutourcourse.SoIknewhimfairlywell.Portadohadpeculiarhabits.Thoughhewasintelligent,hewasextremelylazy.
Ourtheoryclasseswerefromeightinthemorningtillnoonandlabwasfromtwotofiveintheafternoon.Portadonevercameforthefirstclassateight.Occasionally,heturnedupforthesecondorthirdhourbutmostofthetimeheonlyshowedupforthelasthour.Henevermissedourlabsessions,however.Inthosedays,attendancewasnotcompulsoryincollegeandourteachers
wereverylenient.TheyrequestedPortadotocomeontimebutsincetherewasnointernalassessment,theycouldn’treallyexercisetheirauthority.Oneday,IaskedPortado,‘Whyareyoualwayslate?Whatdoyoudoat
home?’Helaughedandsaid,‘Ihavealotofthingstodo.Iamsobusyintheevenings
thatIcan’tgetupbeforenineinthemorning.’‘Whatthingskeepyousobusy?’’Iaskedhiminnocently.‘Imeetmyfriendsatnight.Wehavelongchatsfollowedbydinner.You
know,ittakesalotoftimetobuildfriendships.Youwillnotunderstand.Youpeopleareallnerds.Youonlycometocollegetostudy.’
‘Portado,youareastudent.Youshouldstudy,getknowledge,learnskillsandworkhard.Isthatnotimportant?’‘Oh,please.Youremindmeofmymother.Don’tgivemeasermon.Lifeis
long.Wehaveplentyoftime.Weshouldnotlearnanythinginahurry.Weshouldn’tbesostingyabouttimeeither.’ThenInoticedthathedidnotevenhaveawatchsince,forobviousreasons,
hehadnoneedforit.Portadocontinued,‘Inlife,youneedconnectionsandnetworking.Thatcan
giveyousuccess.Youcan’tnetworkinaday.Youhavetospendtimeandmoneyonbuildinganetwork.Whoknows?SomepeoplethatImeetnowmaymakeitbigtomorrowandthenthatconnectionwillworkforme.’Iwasayounggirlfromamiddle-classandacademic-mindedfamily.I
believedonlyinhardwork.Ineverunderstoodhownetworkingcouldhelp.Duringourcollegebreaks,Portadowouldproudlytellusabouthischildhood:
‘Oh,whenIwasyoung,IspentmytimeinbigcitieslikeBombay,DelhiandCalcutta.InCalcutta,therearesomanyclubs.Itisamatterofprestigetobeamemberofaclub.WhenIstartworking,Iwanttobeamemberofallthegoodclubsinthecity.’Everynowandthen,PortadofeltthatHubliwasasmallandboringtown.SoheregularlywenttoBelgaumtomeethisfriendsand‘network’withthem.Duringexams,Portadoworkedlikeadonkey.Heglass-tracedmostofmy
originaldrawingssothathedidnothavetothinkaboutthesolutionstoengineeringproblemshimself.Hisglass-tracedrawingsweredefinitelybetterthantheoriginalsbecausetheywereneaterandtherewerenowrinklesorpencilmarks.Healwaysgotmorethanmeindrawings.Heevenkeptthequestionpapersofpreviousyearsandmadehisownquestionpapersbyprocessofelimination.Insteadofreadingtextbooks,hereadguidestopasstheexams.Withallthis,healwaysmanagedtopassinsecondclass.Once,theexaminercaughthimbecauseinasurveydrawinghetoldthe
examinerthatthemarkonhisdrawingwasactuallyabigtreeinthemiddleofaroad.ItwasasurveyofatownnearDharwad.Unfortunately,theexaminerhappenedtobefromthattownandheknewthattherewasnotreeonthatroad.HequestionedPortado,whosaidwithaseriousface,‘Sir,Ihavedonethesurveymyself.Isatbelowthetree,hadmylunchandthenIcontinued.’
Calmly,theexaminersaid,‘Ican’tseethistreeinanyofyourclassmates’originaldrawings.Thisisonlyamosquitobetweentheglassandthedrawingthatyouhavetriedtocoverup.’Portadojustmanagedtopasstheexamsthatyear.Buthewasnotperturbed.
Hesaid,‘Iamnotscaredoftheexamsorthemarks.Today’snerdswillbetomorrow’smid-levelmanagers.Apersonwithgoodnetworkingwillbetheirboss.’Becauseofhisattitudeandundisciplinedhabits,eventhecollegehostel
refusedtokeephim.Soherentedasmallhousenearcollegeandlivedtherelikeaking.Once,ourclassplannedapicnictriptoBelgaum.SincePortadowasfamiliar
withthecity,wedecidedtotakehisopinionandhelp.Thepicniccommitteemembers,includingmyself,wenttohishousearoundelevenonaSundaymorning.WeallassumedthatPortadowouldbeawake.Buttooursurprise,hewasstillinbed.Whenheopenedthedoor,hesaidsleepily,‘Oh,whyhaveyoucomesoearlyonaSunday?’Hewasquiteannoyedtoseeus.‘Well,Iamawakenow,sopleasecomein.’Wewentinbuttherewasabsolutelynoplacetosit.Hisclotheswereallover
theroomandnewspaperswerescatteredonthefloor.Inthekitchen,dirtydisheswerepiledupinthesinkandtheywerestinking.Therewerefishboneseverywhere.Therewasalsoacatandadoginsidethehouse.TheywerewellfedwithPortado’sleftovers.Thewindowswerenotopeneither.Thebedsheetlookedlikeithadnotbeenchangedforayear.Ididnothavethecouragetogoseehisbathroom.Portadofeltneitherperturbednorguilty.Hesaid,‘Makesomespacefor
yourselvesandsitdown.’SomepeoplemovedPortado’sundergarmentsandmadesomespacebutIcouldnotdothatbecauseIwasagirl,soIsimplystood.Portadobroughtastoolformefromhiskitchen.Itwasverysticky.Iwasevenmorehesitanttositonitthanonhisclothes.Itoldhim,‘ItisbetterthatIstand.’Portadoofferedusteabutnoneofushadthegutstodrinkany.WhenIaskedhimaboutplanningthedetailsofthepicnic,hesaid,‘Wecan
startattwelveintheafternoon.MyfriendownsalodgesoIcantakeyouthere.Thenextday,wecangotoAmboliFalls.ThenwecanalsogotoGoa.’Portadomadeaten-dayprogramme.Butmostofuscouldnotaffordaten-day
accommodationinahotel,norcouldweskipclassforsomanydays.Sotheplanfizzledout.Wethankedhimandleft.WhenIturnedbackandlooked,Portadohadclosedthedoorandprobablygonebacktobed.Soonthefinalyearcamearound.Weallpassedtheexaminationsandparted
ways.Someofusfeltsadbecausewehadbecomeabigfamilyinthelastfouryearstogether.Wedidnotknowourdestinationsandknewthatwemaynotmeetagain.Ofcourse,asPortadosaidgoodbyehetoldus,‘IfyouareeverinGoa,pleasecometomyhouse.’ButIseriouslydoubtedthatIwouldeverrunintohimagain.Manydecadespassed.Once,IwenttoDubaitogivealecture.Afterthe
lecture,peoplecameuptotalktomebuttherewasonepersonwhowaiteduntileverybodyhadleft.ThenhewalkedovertowhereIwassittingandsmiled.IrecognizedthesmilebutIdidnotrememberwhereIhadseenhim.Themanwasbald,fat,hadabigpaunchandwasdressedveryordinarily.Ithoughtthathemightbeamid-levelmanagerinaconstructioncompany.Imeetmanypeopleinmyfieldanditisdifficulttoremembereverybody.Iaskedhim,‘WhatcanIdoforyou,sir?Areyouwaitingforme?’Withacrackedvoice,hesaid,‘Yes,Ihavebeenwaitingforyouforalong
time.’‘Oh,I’msorry,Ididn’tknowthatyouwerewaiting.Doyouhaveanywork
withme?’Isaid.‘Yes,IjustwantedtotellyouthatyouwererightandIwaswrong.’Iwaspuzzled.Whatdidhemean?Ihadneverevenmethimbefore.Ihardly
cametoDubaisincewedidnotevenhaveanofficethere.‘Ididn’tgetyourname,sir.MayIknowyourname,please?’Iasked.Hislaughwasbittersweet.Hesaid,‘IamPortado,yourclassmate.’Iwasveryhappytoseehimandshookhishand.‘Oh,Portado,Iamseeing
youafterthirty-fiveyears!IthasbeensolongthatIdidn’trecognizeyou.Physically,bothofushavechangedsomuch.Itisnicetomeetyou.Stayback.Ifyouarehere,comefordinnertonight.Iwanttocatchup,’Isaid.Sadly,Portadosaid,‘Sorry,Idon’thavemuchtime.Iaminthenightshift.
ButIcanhaveacupofteawithyou.’WewenttothehotelrestaurantandIorderedacupofteaforhimandjuicefor
myself.Iwantedtotalkmore.Istartedtheconversationwithgreatenthusiasm
andcouldnotholdmyquestionsback.‘Portado,whereareyouworkingnow?HowlonghaveyoubeeninDubai?Areyoumarried?Howmanychildrendoyouhave?Bytheway,howareyournetworkingfriends?DoyouevercometoIndia?’Portadostoppedme.‘Iknowyourworkinvolvescomputersbutminedoes
not.Youaretoofastforme.Justlikeacomputer.ButIaminconstruction.SobearwithmesinceIamslow.IhavebeeninDubaiforthelastfiveyears.Beforethat,IwasinIndiainseveralsmallplacesindifferentcompanies.Ofcourse,Iammarried.Ihavetwodaughters.’Iinterruptedhim.‘Youcouldhavebroughtthemtoday.Iwouldhavelikedto
meetthem.’‘Sorry,Ican’tbringthembecausetheyarenothere.Iaminthelowerlevelof
management.SoIcannotaffordtobringmyfamilyhere.MytwodaughtersarestudyinginIndiaandaredoingengineering.Ican’tevenaffordtheireducationinthisplace.’Ididnotknowwhattosay.IhadneverimaginedPortadowouldenduplike
this.Nowitwashisturntotalk.‘Doyouremember,whenIwasincollege,Iused
tomakefunofallofyou?Ispentallmytimeinnetworking.AfterIfinishedengineering,Ididn’tgetagoodjob.Thereasonwasveryobvious.Ididnothavetheknowledgeortheabilitytoworkhard.Ilookeddownuponthetwoqualitiesthatarethesteppingstonestosuccess.IknewthatIwantedtogoupandreachthetopspotinacompanybutnoonecanjustflythere.IknewwhatpositionIshouldbeinbutIdidnotknowtheroute.Ithoughtthatachangeofjobwouldhelp,butinsteaditreducedmyvalueinthemarket.Noneofmynetworkingfriendshelpedme.Theydroppedmelikeahotpotato.TheythoughtthatIwasclingingontothemlikeaparasite.Someofthemwerelikemeandalsolookingforjobs.IalwaysthoughtthatIwouldcomeupwithsomeone’shelp.IneverthoughtthatIshouldtakemyownhelp.NowIamold.Iamtryingtolearnnewthingsandmakeupforlosttime.Butitisnoteasy.Themarkethasbecomeextremelycompetitive.Youngstersincollegehavemoreknowledgeandquickness.Theyalsohavetimeontheirside.Ihavetoldmydaughters,youshouldstudy,getknowledge,learnskillsandworkhard.’Portadocontinued,‘Doyourememberwhosaidthistome?Itwasyou.’
Helookedathiswatchandsaid,‘Mytimeisup.Imustleave.’Iwishedhimallthebest.Hewalkedafewsteps,thencamebackandsaid,‘Thatday,Icalledyoua
nerd.Today,Icallyousmart.’Andheleft.
6
ALifeUnwritten
Itwastheyear1943.MyfatherwasayoungmedicaldoctorpostedatasmalldispensaryinavillageknownasChandagad,locatedontheborderofthetwostatesofMaharashtraandKarnataka.Itrainedcontinuouslyforeightmonthsthereandtheonlyactivityduringtheremainingfourmonthswastreecutting.Itwasalesser-knownandthinlypopulatedvillagesurroundedbyathickandenormousforest.SinceBritishofficerscametohuntinthejungle,asmallclinicwassetuptherefortheirconvenience.Noneofthevillagerswenttherebecausetheypreferredusingthelocalmedicinesandplants.Sotherewasnobodyintheclinicexceptmyfather.Withinaweekofhistransferthere,myfatherstartedgettingbored.Hewas
uprootedfromthelivelycityofPunetothisslowandsilentvillagewherethereseemedtobenopeopleatall!Hehadnocontactwiththeoutsideworld—hisonlycompanionwasthecalendaronthewall.Sometimes,hewouldgoforawalkoutsidebutwhenheheardtheroarofthetigersinthejunglenearby,hewouldgetscaredandwalkbacktotheclinicasfastashecould.Itwasnowonderthenthathewastooafraidtostepoutatnightbecauseofthesnakesthatwereoftenseenslitheringontheground.Onewintermorning,heheardheavybreathingoutsidehismaindoorand
bravelydecidedtopeepthroughthewindow.Hesawatigressstretchingandyawningintheverandawithhercubsbyherside.Paralysedwithfear,myfather
didnotopenthedoortheentireday.Onanotherday,heopenedthewindowonlytofindsnakeshangingfromtheroofinfrontofhishouse—almostlikeropes.Myfatherwonderedifhewastransferredtothevillageasaformof
punishmentforsomethinghemayhavedone.Buttherewasnothingthathecoulddotochangethesituation.Onenight,hefinishedanearlydinnerandbeganreadingabookbythelight
ofakerosenelamp.Itwasrainingheavilyoutside.Suddenly,heheardaknockonthedoor.‘Whocoulditbe?’hewondered.Whenheopenedit,hesawfourmenwrappedinwoollenrugswithsticksin
theirhands.TheysaidtohiminMarathi,‘DoctorSahib,takeyourbagandcomewithusimmediately.’MyfatherbarelyunderstoodtheirrusticMarathi.Heprotested.‘Buttheclinic
isclosed,andlookatthetime!’Themenwereinnomoodtolisten—theypushedhimandloudlydemanded
thatheaccompanythem.Quietly,myfatherpickeduphisbagandfollowedthemlikealambtothebullockcartwaitingforthem.Thepouringrainandthemoonlessnightdisorientedhimandwhilehedidn’tknowwheretheyweretakinghim,hesensedthatthedrivemighttakesometime.Usingallthecouragehehadleft,heasked,‘Whereareyoutakingme?’Therewasnoreply.Itwasafewhoursbeforetheyreachedtheirdestinationandthebullockcart
cametoacompletehalt.Bythelightofakerosenelamp,somebodyescortedthem.Myfathernoticedthepaddyfieldsaroundhimandinthemiddleofitall,hesawahouse.Theminutehesetfootinthehouse,afemalevoicesaid,‘Come,come.Thepatientishereinthisroom.’Forthefirsttimesincehehadcometothevillage,myfatherfeltthathecould
finallyputhismedicalexpertisetogooduse.Thepatientwasayounggirl,approximatelysixteenyearsold.Anoldladywasstandingnearthegirlwhowasobviouslyinlabour.Myfatherturnedpale.Hewentbacktotheotherroomandtoldherfamily,‘Look,Ihaven’tbeentrainedindeliveringababyandIamamaledoctor.Youmustcallsomeoneelse.’Butthefamilyrefusedtolisten.‘That’snotanoption.Youmustdowhat
needstobedoneandwewillpayyouhandsomely,’theyinsisted.‘Thebabymaybedeliveredaliveordeadbutthegirlmustbesaved.’
Myfatherpleadedwiththem.‘Please,Iamnotinterestedinthemoney.Letmegonow.’Themencameclose,shovedhiminsidethepatient’sroomandlockedthe
doorfromoutside.Myfatherbecameafraid.Heknewhehadnochoice.Hehadobservedandassistedinafewdeliveriesundertheguidanceofhismedicalcollegeprofessors,butnothingmore.Nervously,hestartedrecallinghislimitedpastexperienceandtheoreticalknowledgeashismedicalinstinctskickedin.Therewasnotableintheroom.Sohesignalledtheoldlady,whoappearedto
bedeafanddumb,tohelphimsetupamakeshifttablewiththesacksofpaddygrainsaroundthem.Thenmyfatherextractedarubbersheetfromhisbagandlaiditoutneatlyontopofthesacks.Heaskedthegirltoliedownonitandinstructedtheoldladytoboilwaterand
sterilizehisinstruments.Bythen,thecontractionhadpassed.Thegirlwassweatingprofuselyandthedoctorevenmore.Shelookedathimwithbig,innocent,tearyeyesandslowlybegan,‘Don’tsaveme.Idon’twanttomakeitthroughthenight.’‘Whoareyou?’‘Iamthedaughterofabigzamindarhere,’shesaidinasoftvoice.Therain
outsidemadeithardforhimtohearher.‘Sincetherewasnohighschoolinourvillage,myparentsletmestudyinadistanttown.There,Ifellinlovewithoneofmyclassmates.Atfirst,Ididn’tknowthatIwaspregnant,butonceIfoundout,Itoldthebaby’sfatherwhoimmediatelyranaway.Bythetimemyparentslearntofwhathadhappened,itwastoolatetodoanything.That’swhytheysentmeheretothisgodforsakenplacewherenobodywouldfindout.’Shestoppedasastrongcontractionhither.Afterafewminutes,shesaid,‘Doctor,Iamsurethatoncethebabyisborn,
myfamilywillkillthechildandbeatmeviolently.’Thenshegrabbedmyfather’sarmsasmoretearsgatheredinhereyes.‘Pleasedon’ttrytosavethebabyorme.Justleavemealonehereandletmedie.That’sallIwant.’Atfirst,myfatherdidn’tknowhowtorespond.Thenhesaidtoherasgently
ashecould,‘IamadoctorandIcan’tletapatientdiewhenIknowthatIcandosomethingtosavehimorher.Youmustn’tdiscouragemefromdoingmyduty.’Thegirlfellsilent.
Thelabourwashard,scaryandlongandfinally,myfathermanagedtodeliverthebabysuccessfullywiththeassistanceoftheoldlady.Theyounggirlwasexhaustedandsweatyattheendoftheordeal.Sheclosedhereyesindespairanddidn’tevenasktoseethebaby.Hesitantly,sheasked,‘Isitaboyoragirl?’‘It’sagirl,’repliedmyfather,whiletryingtocheckthebaby’svitals.‘OhmyGod!It’sagirl!’shecried.‘Herlifewillbejustlikemine—underthe
cruelpressureofthemeninthefamily.Andshedoesn’tevenhaveafather!’Shebegansobbingloudly.Butmyfatherwasbusywiththebabyandbarelyheardher.Suddenly,thegirlrealizedthatsomethingwaswrong,‘Doctor,whyisn’tthe
babycrying?’Whenshedidn’tgetareply,shecontinued,‘Iwillbehappyifshedoesn’tsurvive.Shewillbesparedfromacursedlife.’Myfatherheldthebabyupsidedown,gentlyslappedherand,instantly,the
baby’sstrongcriesfilledtheroom.Whenthemenoutsideheardthebabycry,theyopenedthedoorandinstructedhim,‘Doctor,getreadytoleave.Wewilldropyouback.’Myfathercleaneduphispatient,gatheredhisinstrumentsandpackedhisbag.
Theoldladybegancleaningtheroom.Helookedatthetroubledyounggirlandsaid,‘Takethebabyandrunawayfromthisplaceifyoucanfinditinyourhearttodoso.GotoPuneandlookforPuneNursingSchool.FindaclerktherecalledGokhaleandtellhimthatRHhassentyou.Hewillhelpyougetadmissioninanursingcourse.Intime,youwillbecomeanurseandleadanindependentlife,withtheabilitytotakecareofyourownneeds.Raiseyourdaughterwithpride.Don’tyoudareleaveherbehindorelseshewillendupsufferinglikeyou.That’smymostsincereadviceforyou.’‘But,doctor,howwillIgotoPune?Idon’tevenknowwhereitis!’‘GotothenearestcityofBelgaumandthenfromthere,youcantakeabusto
Pune.’Myfathersaidgoodbyetoherandcameoutoftheroom.Anoldmanhandedhimonehundredrupees.‘Doctor,thisisyourfeefor
helpingthegirlwiththedelivery.Iwarnyou—don’tsayawordaboutwhathappenedheretoday.Ifyoudo,Iwilllearnofitandyourheadwillnolongerbeattachedtotherestofyourbody.’
Myfathernodded,suddenlyovertakenbyasenseofcalm.‘I’msorry,’hesaid.‘IthinkIforgotmyscissorsintheroom.Iwillneedittomorrowattheclinic.’Heturnedaroundandwentbackinsideandsawtheyounggirlgazingatthe
sleepingnewbornwithtearsinhereyes.Whentheoldlady’sbackwasturnedtowardshim,myfatherhandedoverthemoneytothegirl.‘ThisisallIhavewithmerightnow,’hesaid.‘UseitanddowhatIhavetoldyou.’‘Doctor,whatisyourname?’sheasked.‘MynameisDrR.H.Kulkarni,butalmosteveryonecallsmeRH.Bebrave,
child.Goodbyeandgoodluck.’Myfatherlefttheroomandthehouse.Thereturnjourneywasequallyrough
andhefinallyreachedhomeatdawn.Hewasdeadtiredandsoon,sleeptookover.Thenextmorning,hismindwanderedbacktohisfirstpatientinthevillageandhisfirstearning.Hebecameawareofhisshortcomingsandwishedhewasbetterqualifiedingynaecology.However,hiscurrentshortageoffundsmadehimpostponethedreamforanotherday.Afewmonthslater,hegotmarriedandsharedhisdreamofbecominga
gynaecologistwithhiswife.Timepassedquickly.HewastransferredtodifferentplacesinMaharashtra
andKarnatakaandhadfourchildrenalongtheway.Bythetimeheturnedforty-two,thecouplehadcarefullysavedenoughmoneyforfurthereducationandmyfatherdecidedtopursuehisdesire.SohelefthisfamilyinHubliandjoinedEgmoreMedicalCollegeinChennai,andfulfilledhisdreamofbecomingagynaecologistsurgeon.Hewasoneoftheraremalegynaecologistsatthetime.HewentbacktoHubliandstartedworkingattheKarnatakaMedicalCollege
asaprofessor.Hissympatheticmannertowardstheunderprivilegedandhisgenuineconcernforthewomenandgirlshetreatedmadehimquitepopular—bothasadoctorandasateacher.Thesameconcernreflectedinhisliberalattitudetowardshisdaughtersandheallowedthemtopursuetheirchosenfieldsofeducation,whichwasunheardofinthosedays.Myfatherwasanatheist.‘Goddoesn’tresideinachurch,mosqueortemple,’
hewouldoftensay.‘Iseehiminallmypatients.Ifawomandiesduringchildbirth,thenitisthelossofonepatientforadoctorbutforthatchild,itisthelifelonglossofamother.Andtellme,whocanreplaceamother?’
Despitehisretirement,myfather’sloveforlearningdidnotdiminishandheremainedactive.Oneday,hewentforamedicalconferencetoanothercity.There,hemeta
youngwomaninherthirties.Shewaspresentingcasesfromherexperienceintheruralareas.Myfatherfoundherworkinterestingandwenttotellhersoafterthepresentation.‘Doctor,yourresearchisexcellent.Iamquiteimpressedbyyourwork,’hesaid.‘Thankyou,’shesaid.Justthen,someonecalledouttomyfather,‘RH,wearewaitingforyouto
grabsomelunch.Willyoutakelong?’Theyoungwomanasked,‘Whatisyourname,doctor?’‘DrR.H.Kulkarni,orRH.’Afteramomentofsilence,sheasked,‘WereyouinChandagadin1943?’‘Yes.’‘Doctor,Iliveinavillagearoundfortykilometresawayfromhere.MayI
requestyoutocomehomerightnowforabriefvisit?’Myfatherwasunpreparedforsuchaninvitation.Whywasshecallinghimto
herhouse?‘Maybesomeothertime,doctor,’hereplied,hopingtoendthematter.Butthewomanwaspersistent.‘Youmustcome.Please.Thinkofthisasa
requestfromsomeonewhohasbeenwaitingforyouforyearsnow.’Myfatherwaspuzzledbyherenigmaticanswerandstillrefused,butshe
pleadedwithhim.Therewassomethinginhereyes—somethingsodesperate—thatintheend,hegaveinandaccompaniedhertothevillage.Onthewaytothevillage,bothofthemexchangedideasandshespoke
animatedlyaboutherworkandherfindings.Asthetwoofthemapproachedherresidence,myfatherrealizedthatthehousewasalsoanursinghome.Hewalkedinthroughthefrontdoorandsawaladyinherfiftiesstandinginthelivingroom.Theyoungwomannexttohimsaid,‘Ma,thisisDrRH.Ishetheoneyou
havebeenwaitingforalltheseyears?’Thewomancameforward,bentdownandtouchedherforeheadtomyfather’s
feet.Hefelthisfeetgettingwetfromhertears.Itwasstrange.Whowerethese
women?Myfatherdidn’tknowwhattodo.Hequicklybentforward,placedhishandsontheolderwoman’sshouldersandpulledherup.‘Doctor,youmaynotremembermebutIcanneverforgetyou.Minemust
havebeenyourfirstdelivery.’Still,myfathercouldn’trecognizeher.‘Alongtimeago,youlivedinavillageontheborderofMaharashtraand
Karnataka.Onenight,therewasaheavydownpourandyouhelpedme—ayoung,unmarriedgirlthen—throughchildbirth.Therewasnodeliverytableintheroom,soyouconvertedstacksofpaddysacksintoamakeshifttable.Manyhourslater,Igavebirthtoadaughter.’Inaflash,thememoriescamefloodingbackandmyfatherrecollectedthat
night.‘OfcourseIrememberyou!’hesaid.‘ItwasthemiddleofthenightandIurgedyoutogotoPunewithyournewborn.IthinkIwasasscaredasyou!’‘Yougavemeahundredrupees,whichiswhatmyfamilypaidyouforthe
delivery.Itwasabigamountinthosedaysandstill,youhandeditallovertome.’‘Yes,mymonthlysalarywasseventy-fiverupeesthen!’addedmyfatherwith
asmile.‘YoutoldmeyourlastnamebutIcouldn’thearitbecauseofthedeafening
soundoftherain.Itookyouradvice,wenttoPune,foundyourfriendGokhaleandbecameanurse.Itwasvery,veryhard,butIwasabletoraisemydaughteronmyown.Aftersuchaterribleexperience,Iwantedmydaughtertobecomeagynaecologist.Luckily,shesharedmydreamtoo.Today,sheisadoctorandisalsomarriedtooneandtheypractisehere.Atonepoint,Ispentmonthssearchingforyoubutwithnoluck.ThenweheardthatyouhadmovedtoKarnatakaafterthereorganizationofthestatedepartmentsin1956.Meanwhile,GokhalealsopassedawayandIlostallhopeofeverfindingyou.IprayedtoGodtogivemeachancetomeetyouandthankyouforshowingmetherightpathattherighttime.’MyfatherfeltlikehewasinaBollywoodmovieandwasenchantedbythe
unexplainedmysteryoflife.Afewkindwordsandencouragementhadchangedayounggirl’slife.Sheclaspedherhandstogether.‘Wearesogratefultoyou,doctor.My
daughterwantedtocallyoufortheinaugurationofthenursinghomehereand
wewereverydisappointedatnotbeingabletoreachyouthen.Timehaspassedandnowthenursinghomeisdoingverywell.’Myfatherwipedhismoisteyesandlookedaroundtoseethenameofthe
nursinghome.Helookedtotherightandfoundhimselfstaringatit—R.H.Diagnostic.
7
TheLineofSeparation
DuringmytriptoPakistan,Iwaspartofalargegroup.Eachpersoninthegroupwaskeentovisitoneplaceortheotherinthatcountry.SomewantedtoseeTakshila,othersLahore,IslamabadorKarachi.Oneday,wewerehavingadiscussionaboutthisandeveryonewasvoicinghisorheropinionloudly.InoticedonlyMrsRoopaKapoorwassittingquietly.Shewasaseventy-five-year-oldladyfromChennaianddidnotspeakmuchunlessspokento.SoIaskediftherewasanyplaceshewantedtovisit.Withoutanyhesitation,shesaid,‘IhavetovisitPindi.’‘WhereisPindi?Isitsomesmalltownorvillage?Idon’tthinkwewillhave
thetimetomakeadetourlikethatfromourpackeditinerary.’Roopasmiledatmyignoranceandsaid,‘ImeantRawalpindi.ItiscalledPindiforshortbythosewhostaythere.’Iwasintrigued.‘Howdoyouknow?Haveyoueverstayedthere?’‘Iwasbornandbroughtupthere,’shereplied,andthenslowlyshetoldmethe
storyofherlife.ShehadstayedinRawalpinditilltheageofnineteen,whenshegotmarried
andsettleddowninChennai.NowChennaiwasherhomeandshecouldspeakTamilandmakeexcellentTamildishes,likepuliyogareandrasam,aswellasanynatural-bornTamilian.Butshehadalwaysyearnedtocomebackandseeherchildhoodhomeifsheevergotthechance.
SoonwereachedIslamabadandIwassurprisedtofinditsurroundedbymountains,ascoolasahillstation.Roopasawmysurpriseandsaid,‘Islamabadisanewcity.Rawalpindiisasistercity,butitisolder.IslamabadwasbuiltafterthePartitionwithwideroads,shoppingcentresandrosegardens.Pindiisonlytwenty-oddkilometresawayfromIslamabad.’Bynowthesoft-spoken,introvertedMrsKapoorhadbecomequitegarrulous.Therewasasparkinhereyesandshespokenon-stop.ManyofuswantedtoseeIslamabadfirst,butsheinsistedongoingontoRawalpindi.SheneededacompanionforthetripandIvolunteeredtogowithher.Shewas
nowquiteexcited,andtoldme,‘IwanttoseethehouseIleftfifty-sevenyearsago.’‘That’sagoodidea,’Isaid.ThenIrememberedthelovelybouquetofflowers
IhadbeenpresentedonlandingatIslamabadwhichIwasstillcarrying.‘Iwillpresentthistowhoeverisstayinginyourhousenow.’Shewastouched.AsthecarleftIslamabadairportbehind,MrsKapoorstartedpointingoutthe
sightstomelikeatourguide.Sheshowedmeanoldbuildingontheleftsideoftheroadinacrowdedareaandsaid,‘Thatusedtobeanelectricalgoodsmanufacturingfactory.Itsowner,KewalRamSahani,wasmyfather’sfriend.MyfriendsandIwouldcometothishouseforLakshmipujaduringDiwali.’Itoldthedrivertoslowdownalittlesothatshecouldcherishthejourney.The
carpassedSadarBazarandlookingatanoldbuildingwithmanyshops,shesaid,‘Heremyfather’scousinRatanSethiownedajewelleryshopalongwithhispartnerMaqboolKhan.ItwasknownasKhanandSethi.Myweddingjewellerywasmadehere.’Shecontinuedpointingoutvariousbuildings,eachholdingsomefond
memoryforher.Butmanyatimethebuildingsshewaslookingforhadchangedtonewskyscrapersandshegotdisoriented.Suddenlythecarstopped.Atyrewaspunctured,andthedriversaiditwouldtakehimawhiletofixit.Roopawasrestless.Shedidnotwanttowaitevenaminutemorethanrequired.Soshesaid,‘Youchangethetyre.InthemeantimeIwillgoandvisitsomeoftheoldplaces.Wewilljoinyouatthenextmainroad.Togotothemainroad,youtakealeftturnandthefirstrightturn.Youwaitforusthere.’
ShebehavedasifshekneweveryinchofthatareaandIfollowedherquietly.Wewalkedintoasmalllane.Sheexplained,‘IhavebeenheremanytimeswithmyfriendsFatimaandNoor.ThisusedtobeknownasTailor’sRoad.MyneighbourMehboobKhan’swifeMehrunnisaChachiwasanexpertindesigningnewembroiderypatterns.Weusedtocomeandgivethedesigns.Come,wewilltakeashortcut...Thatiswheremyunclelived.’Bynowshewastalkingmoretoherselfandmakingherwaywithease
throughthenarrowlanes.Wewenttothenextroad.Therewereoldhousesontheroadandshewentintothefirsthugebungalow.Shesaid,‘ThiswasmyuncleMotiramRai’shouseandthenexthousewasthatofAllahBaksh.Theyweregreatfriendsandlovedeachother.IstillrememberwheneverAllahBakshChachaplantedatreeinhishouse,myunclewouldplantthesame.ThismangotreeherewasplantedonaBasantPanchamiday.Therewassomuchofjoyinbothhouses.MygrandmotherpreparedkheerandsentmetoAllahBaksh’shousewithajugfullofit.WhileIwascarryingthatjug,Ibumpedintoayoungmanandthehotkheerfellonhisfeet.Iwassoscaredandembarrassed.’‘Didyouknowhim?’‘Notthenbutlater.Imarriedhim!’Shethenlookedupatthetreeandsaid,‘Thishasbecomesooldnow.’Wewalkedinthroughthegate.TherewasnoonearoundandIwasafraidwe
wouldbestoppedbysomeonefortrespassing.ButRoopawasleastbothered.Itwasasifshewasinaworldofherown.ShewalkedtothebackyardwhileIstoodhesitatinginthefront.Acouplewalkedinandwerevisiblysurprisedtoseeastrangerstandingintheirgarden,thattooinasari.ItwasalsojustthenthatInoticedaboardhanginginfrontofthedoor.Itsaid‘DrSalimandDrSalma:Dentist’.Istartedapologizingandexplainedthesituationtothem.Theirfaceslostthe
lookofsuspicionassoonasIfinishedmystory.Roopawasstilllookingatallthetreesandrememberingherchildhood.Thecouplewelcomeduscourteously.‘Pleasesitdown.Dojoinusforacupoftea.’Theypulleduptwochairs.BynowIwasfeelingveryawkward,disturbingtheminthemorning.ButDr
Salimsaid,‘Pleasesit.Wearegladyoucame.OurgrandparentstoowerefromSuratinGujarat.TheyemigratedtoPakistanandIwasbornandbroughtup
here.MyparentstalkwithgreatnostalgiaaboutSuratifarsan,Parsidhansakandkhakra.’JusttomakeconversationIsaid,‘Itmustbedifficultmaintainingsuchalarge
bungalownow.’DrSalimreplied,‘Wemovedtothishousesomeyearsback.Yousee,this
househappenstoresembletheonemyparentslivedininSurat,andtheymademepromisethatIwouldnotbreakitandmakeapartmentsaslongasIstayedhere.Allahhasbeenkindtousandwedon’tneedthemoney.OurneighbourAllahBaksh’schildrensoldtheirpropertylongbackandnowthereisacommercialcomplex.’BythenRoopahadfinishedwanderinginthegardenandIformally
introducedhertothecouple.Sheaskedifshecouldseethehousefromtheinside.DrSalimagreedhappily.‘Afterwepurchasedthishousetenyearsagowemadeveryfewmodifications.Itisperhapsinthesamestateasyoulastsawit,’hesaid.IwalkedinwithRoopa.Shelookedintothemainroomandsaid,‘Thiswas
wheremygrandfatherusedtositandcontrolthehouse.’ThenshepointedtoacolouredglassdoorandsaidAllahBaksh’swifehadpainteditforthem.‘Thatwasthewindowthroughwhichshewouldsenddryfruitstomyaunt’,‘Thatwaswhereweusedtoflykites.’Everybrick,everywallheldamemoryforher.FinallyIremindedherthatitwastimeweleft.Wewalkedbacktothegardenandsaidourgoodbyestothecouple.DrSalimhandedusapacket.‘Thereisnotimeforyoutoeat,butIcannotsendtwoeldersawaywithoutofferinganything.PleasetakethisandifGodiswillingwewillmeetagain.’Wecameoutofthehouseandwhenwereachedthemainroadthecarwas
there,havingfollowedRoopa’sdirections.Nowshewantedtoseeherownhouse.Shetoldthedriver,‘Takearightturnfromthechauraha.Iknowtheway.The
firstbuildingontherightsideisAl-AmeenSchoolforgirlsandalittlefartherthereisaJesusandMaryconvent.Alittleaheadontheleftside,thereisagovernmentboys’school.NexttothatistheIdgahmaidan.Nexttothatisalanewithfivehugebungalows.Eachplotisanacreinsize.ThefirstonebelongedtoKewalRam.SecondtoMiaMehboobKhanandthethirdonetoSardarSupreetSingh.FourthonetoRaiSahibandthefifthwasours...’
Shetalkedonandthedriverfollowedherdirections.Shewasmostlyright.Yes,theredbrickbuildingontherightwastheAl-AmeenSchoolforgirls.TheJesusandMaryconventwasnowaLoyolaCollegeandthegovernmentboys’schoolhadbecomeadegreecollege.ButtheIdgahmaidanwasnotthere.Insteadtherewasashoppingcomplex.Thefivebeautifulbungalowsshedescribedwerealsomissing.Insteadtherewasamassofshops,hotelsandvideolibrariespilednexttoeachother.Roopabecameupset.‘Madam,areyousureitisthesameroad?’thedriveraskedpolitely.‘OfcourseIamsure.Iwasbornhere.Ispentnineteenyearshere.Youwere
notevenbornthen.HowcanImakeamistake?’Shetoldhimtostopthecarandgotofftosearch.Shewassurethehousewas
stilltherebehindthenewbuildings.Shewaspossessed,asifsearchingforalostchild,orapreciousjewel.‘Myhousewasyellowincolourandthereweretwostoreys.Ithadan
entrancefromtherightside.FrommyhouseIcouldseetheIdgahmaidan.Twoyearsbackafriendofminewhoalsostayedherecametoseetheplaceandshetoldmethehousewasstillverymuchhere.’Sheturnedtomeandcontinued,‘Youknow,onceIhadunknowinglywalked
onthewetcementfloorneartheentranceofthehouseandmyfootmarkstayedthereforever.MyfatherwantedtokeepitasareminderofmeafterIgotmarriedandwentaway.Icanrecognizemyhousewithoutanytrouble.’Buttherewasnohouseofthatdescriptioninthatarea,withthefootmarkintheentrance.Iknewbythistimethatthehousewasnotthere.ButRoopawasreluctanttoacceptit.Westoodinfrontofthebuildingwhereshesaidherhouseusedtobe.Itwasa
hotelandachowkidarwassittingattheentrance.Iaskedhim,‘Howoldisthishotel?’Hegotupandreplied,‘Itisonlyayearold.’‘Howlonghaveyoubeenworkinghere?’‘Eversincetheoldbuildingwasdemolishedandtheconstructionstarted.’Roopawasquietnow.‘Wasthereatwo-storeyedyellowbuildingherewiththeentranceontheright
andfootprintsalongtheportico?’‘Yes.TherewasabuildinglikethatbutIdon’trememberthefootprints.’
NowIknewthatRoopa’shousehadbeendemolishedtomakewayforthishotel.Ilookedatthechowkidarandtoldhim,‘Thatwasmyfriend’shouse.’‘Oh,pleasecomeinside.Sowhatifyourhouseisnotthere?Thehotelstands
onthesameland.Iamsuremyownerwillbehappytoreceiveyou.Haveacupofteaandasamosa.’IlookedatRoopabutshewasnotlisteningtoourconversation.Shetookahandfulofsoilfromthelittlepatchofgardeninfrontofthehotel
andsaid,‘Thisismyland.Thisismysoil.Myancestorsmadethistheirhome.Theywerebornandburnthere.Theland,thetrees,theair,thewater,everythingwasours.Weknewthecustoms,thecultureandthefood.Oneday,somepersondrewalineandcreatedtwonations.Andsuddenlywebecameforeignersinourownland.Wehadtoleaveandadoptsomeotherplacewhoselanguage,foodandculturewerealientous.Asinglelinemademeastrangertomyownland.Peoplewhohavebeenuprootedfeelaspecialpainwhichnooneelsecanunderstand.’Iwasquiet.Icouldonlyimagineheragony.Iheldherhandandsuddenly
realizedthatthebouquetofflowersIhadmeanttogivetotheownersofheroldhousewaslyingonthefrontseatofthecar,witheringslowlyintheDecembersunshine.
8
India,theHolyLand
MayawasasimpleyoungladywholivedintheTibetansettlementontheoutskirtsofMundugod,nearHubliinnorthKarnataka.SheusedtoteachtheTibetanlanguagetothechildreninthecamp,sotheywouldnotforgettheirroots.Shewassmartandhard-working.MyfatherwasadoctorworkinginHubliandheoccasionallyvisitedthat
settlement.IfanyoftheTibetanswantedfurthertreatment,theywouldvisitmyfatherattheGovernmentHospitalinHubli.Mayatoostartedvisitingmyfatherwhenshewasexpectingherfirstchild.Overthemonthsshebecamequitefriendlywithallofus.Whenevershecame
tothehospitalshewouldpayusavisittoo.Mymotherwouldinviteherforamealandwewouldspendsometimechatting.Inthebeginning,wewouldbeinaweofherandstareatheralmost-white
skin,doveeyes,thelittleflatnoseandhertwolong,thinplaits.Slowlyweacceptedherasafriendandshegraduatedtobecomemyknittingteacher.Hervisitsweresessionsofknitting,chattingandtalkingaboutherlifeinthecampandbackinhercountryforwhichshestillyearned.Mayawoulddescribeherhomelandtouswithgreataffection,nostalgiaand,attimes,withtearsinhereyes.‘Tibetansaresimplepeople.WeareallBuddhistsbutourBuddhismisofa
differentkind.ItiscalledVajrayana.There’sbeenalotofinfluencefromIndia,
particularlyBengal,onourcountryandreligiouspractices.EvenourscriptresemblesBengali.’HerwordsfilledmewithasenseofwonderaboutthisexoticlandcalledTibet
andIwouldpesterhertotellmemoreaboutthatcountry.OnedaywestartedtalkingabouttheDalaiLama.‘WhatisthemeaningofDalaiLama?’Iasked.‘Itmeans“oceanofknowledge”.Oursisauniquecountrywherereligious
headshaveruledfor500years.WebelieveinrebirthandthateachDalaiLamaisanincarnationofthepreviousone.ThepresentDalaiLamaisthefourteenth...Youknow,IndiaistheholylandofBuddha.Historically,wehavealwaysrespectedIndia.ThereisanicestoryabouthowBuddhismcametoTibetthroughIndia...’Icouldnotwaittohearaboutthis!‘LongagotherewasakinginTibetwhowaskidnappedbyhisenemies.They
demandedaransomofgold,equaltotheweightoftheking.Whentheimprisonedkingheardthis,hesomehowsentwordtohisson:“Don’twasteanygoldtogetmeback.Instead,spendthatmoneytobringgoodlearnedBuddhistmonksfromIndia.Withtheirhelp,openmanyschoolsandmonasteriessothatourpeoplecanliveinpeaceandgainknowledge.”’MonthspassedandMayadeliveredababy.Afterthatourmeetingsbecame
lessfrequent.ButshesucceededinawakeningwithinmeacuriosityaboutTibetandagreatrespectforBuddhism.RecentlyIgotachancetovisitTibetandmemoriesofMayafilledmymind.I
knewIwouldbeseeingaTibetfilledwiththeChinesebutneverthelessIwaskeentogo.AmongtheplacesIwantedtoseewasaBuddhatempleinYarlungValleythatshehaddescribedtome.WhenIfinallyreachedthevalley,itwaspastmidday.Therewasacoldwind
blowingthoughthesunwasshiningbrightly.TheBrahmaputrawasflowinglikeastreamhere,nothingliketheragingtorrentinAssam.Snow-cappedmountainscircledthevalleyandtherewasabsolutesilenceallaround.ThemonasteryatYarlungissupposedtobeafamouspilgrimagespot,butI
couldseeonlyahandfulofpeopleintheentireplace.AfterseeingeverythinginsideIsatdownonthestepsandobservedtheserenebeautyoftheplace.
Inoticedanoldwomanaccompaniedbyayoungmanwalkingintothemonastery.Thewomanwasveryold,herfacewaswrinkledandshewalkedslowlyandweakly.ShewaswearingthetraditionalTibetandressandherhairwasplaited.Theyoungmanontheotherhandwasdressedintheusualmodernmanner,intightjeansandabody-huggingT-shirt.Thewomanstartedcircumambulatingthemonasteryusingherstickforsupportwhilethemansatdownonthestepslikeme.Whenshefinished,Irealizedtheoldladywasstaringatme.Thenshesaid
somethingtotheyoungmaninTibetan.Shelookedtiredbytheendofherritualandsatdownonthesteps.Shesaidsomethingtohercompanionagainbuthetooklittlenoticeofher.Sosheslowlypickedupherstickandcametowardsme.Shesatdownnearme,tookmyhandsand,sayingsomething,gentlyraisedthemtohereyesandkissedthem.BeforeIcouldsayanything,shegotupandstartedtowalkaway.ButInoticedshewassmiling,asifshehadachievedalong-helddesire.Irealizedtherewasawetnesswherehereyeshadtouchedmyhand.Nowtheyoungboyreluctantlycameuptomeandapologized.‘Pleaseforgive
mygrandmother,’hesaid.‘SheisfromavillageintheinteriorpartofTibet.Shehasneverventuredoutofhervillage.ThisisthefirsttimeshehascometoYarlung.Ibegyourpardonforherbehaviour.’HewastalkingtomeinEnglishwithanIndianaccent.‘HowcomeyouspeakEnglishlikeus?’Iaskedinsurprise.‘MynameisKeTsang.IwasinIndiaforfiveyears.IstudiedatLoyola
CollegeinChennai.NowIrunarestaurantinLhasa.PeopleherelikeIndianfoodandmovies.Iaccompaniedmygrandmotherforherpilgrimage.Shewasthankingyou.’‘Butforwhat?Ihavenotdoneanythingforher!’‘Thatistrue,butyourcountryhas.IthasshelteredourDalaiLamaforso
manyyears.Heisalivinggodtous,particularlytotheoldergeneration.WeallrespecttheDalaiLama,butduetopoliticalreasons,wecannotexpressitinpublic.Youmighthaveseenthatthereisn’tasinglephotoofhisinanypublicplaceinthewholeofLhasa.Heisthefourteenth,butwehavepaintings,statuesandpicturesonlyuptothethirteenth.’Istilldidnotunderstandtheoldlady’sgesture.Thegrandsonexplained,‘She
said,“Iamanoldladyanddon’tknowhowlongIwilllive.IfIdon’tthankyou
beforeIdie,Iwillneverattainpeace.Letanyonepunishmeforthis,itdoesnotmatter.ItisagiftthatImetanIndiantodayandwasabletothankyouforshelteringourDalaiLama.Yoursistrulyacompassionateland.”’HerwordseerilyechoedMaya’sfrommanyyearsback.Icouldonlylook
downatthewetspotonmyhandandsmile.
9
BondedbyBisleri
The26JanuaryhorrorofKutchinGujaratiswellknown.Withoutanywarning,MotherEarthopenedhermouthandengulfedthepeopleandtheirbelongings.Overnight,richpeoplewerereducedtothestreets.ButthespiritoftheKutchipeopleisadmirable.Theyfacedthisdisasterbravelyandarestillfightingtorestorenormalcy.Themediahastobecongratulatedforitsroleinthereliefefforts.Within
hoursofthetragedy,allnewspapersandtelevisionchannelshadzoomedintocoverthedisasterandbroadcastitallovertheworld.AlongwithIndia,therestoftheworldparticipatedinhelpingtheseunfortunatepeople.AfteralltherushoftheTVcrewsandmediapeople,hordesofNGOsandgovernmentofficialslandedupinKutch.Peoplestartedpickinguptheirlifefromwheretheyhadleftit.Lifestartedtoreturntonormalataslowpace.Iwenttovisittheseareasaftersometime,whenthedustofpropagandahad
settleddown,inordertoseeactuallife.Afterall,theemotionshaddrainedoffandrealityhadbecomethepriority.SeveralsmallvillagesdeepinsideKutch,awayfromthemainroadconnecting
AhmedabadandBhuj,hadbeenbadlyaffectedbytheearthquake.Iwasvisitingtheseremoteplacesinthedeepinteriorwhenoneofthetyresofmyjeepwentflat.Gettingitfixedwouldtakesometime.Mydriverwenttogetthisdone.
Iwasaloneandbored.Isawafewtentsnearby.Theyweretemporaryshedscoveredwithblueplasticsheets.Theyweretemporaryhouses,schoolsandhealthcentresforthepeopleresidinginthatarea.Later,Iheardthatthereweretenthotelsaswell.Lifewasbusyandpeopleweregettingonwiththeirchores.Asitwas
monsoonseason,menandwomenwerebusyinthefields.Itwasverystrange.FormanyyearstherehadnotbeenmuchraininKutch,butthatyearithadrainedabundantly.Farmerswerehavingabumpercrop.Isupposenaturehasitsownmethodofjustice.Ontheonehandshetakesawaysomethingandontheothershegivessomethinginreturn.Smallchildrenwereplayinginthedusthappily.Ipeepedintooneofthenearbytents.Ayounggirl,aboutfourteenyearsold,
wascleaninggrainsandpreparingtocookameal.Whenshesawme,sherosewithasmileandsaid,‘Pleasecomeinandsitdown.’AsIwantedtoseehowtheylived,Ienteredtheshed.Shegavemeacharpoy
tositon.Insidethetentitwascleanandneat.Therewasathinpartitionmadeofanoldsari.IunderstoodfromherconversationthatherfamilywasnotfromKutch.Thegirlofferedmeaglassofwater.Thoughitwasthemonsoonseason,the
sunwashot,butIwasalittlehesitanttodrinkthewater.Manythoughtsflashedacrossmymind.Ifthewaterwasnotsterile,thenIwasatriskofcontractingdiseaseslikedysenteryandjaundice.IfIrefusedtoacceptthewater,however,IknewIwouldhurtthegirl’sfeelings.SoItooktheglassbutdidnotdrinkthewater.Thegirlhadayoungersisterwhomighthavebeenaroundtwelveyearsold.
Therewasalittleboysleepinginahome-madecradle.Outside,therewasatemporaryopenkitchenwheresabziwasbeingcooked.Theelderonewasmakingdoughfromwheatflour.‘ItseemsfromyourlanguagethatyouarenotGujaratis.Whereareyoufrom?’
Iasked.Smiling,theyoungersisteranswered,‘We’renotfromGujarat,we’refrom
Mumbai.’‘Haveyoucomeheretovisityourrelatives?’
‘No,wedon’thaveanyrelativeshere.Thisisourhouse.Wehavecomeherewithourparents.’Iwasverysurprisedbythisanswerbecause,normally,peoplefleeareas
afflictedbycalamities,whereasthesepeoplehadmovedin.‘Whatisyourfatherdoinghere?’Bothgirlswereeagertogivemeinformation.Theelderonereplied,‘My
fatherusedtobeginMumbaiatMahimCreek,nearthechurch.Mymotherusedtosellcandlesatthechurchentrance.’‘Whatmadeyoucomehere?’‘Oneday,wesawthenewsonTVandcametoknowthattherehadbeenan
earthquakehere.ItwasshowneveryhouronTVinthecornershop.Myfathersaid“Let’sgo”andwecamehere.’‘Whopaidforyourtraintickets?’‘Nobody.Wecameherewithouttickets.Thewholetrainwasfullofpeople.
Thereweremanypeoplelikeuswhohavecome.Theentirestationwasheavilycrowded.Therewasnoticketcollector.’‘Howdidyoucomefromthetrainstation?’‘Wedidn’tknowanyone.Buttherewereplentyofbusesrunningbetweenthe
stationandBhuj.Thereweremanyforeignvolunteers.Thebuseswerejam-packed.Wealsogotintooneofthebusesandlandedonthemainroad.’‘Howdidyoucometothisparticulararea?’‘Thereweremanyjeepsgoingfromthemainroadstoallinteriorvillages.On
themainroad,therewasaconvoyoftrucksfullofdifferentreliefmaterials.Theyusedtounloadmaterialsoneithersideoftheroad.Peoplewhodidnothaveanythingwouldpickthemupfromtheroadside.Wealsopickedupsome.’‘Whatwerethematerialsontheroadside?’‘Therewerefoodarticles,apples,biscuitpackets,clothes,blanketsandmany
moreitems.Myfathertoldeachoneofustopickupwhatwecouldandwecollectedalot.WehadneverseensomuchinourlifeinMumbai.Everythingwasinplenty.’Childrenareinnocentandtheyalwaystellthetruthuntiltheybecomeadults
andliescreepintotheirlives.Oneliestoboast,toshowwhatheisnot.Butchildrenaresoconfident.Theyneverpretendtobewhatthey’renot.Naturally,
theMumbaibeggar’sdaughtersdescribedthewholescenarioasifitwasaverymemorableevent.Theelderonesaidmuchmorethanthat.‘Therewerepeoplecrying,someof
theminpain.Somehadlosttheirchildrenorparents.Itwasverysadtosee.Buttherewereplentyofpeopletohelpalso.Thereweredoctorsworkingovernight.Therewereswamijisworkinglikecommonmen,distributingmedicines.Therewerearmypeoplediggingtobuildhouses.Therewasnodifferencebetweendayandnight,therichandthepoor.‘Ourpositionwasbetter.Wedidnotloseanybody,nordidweloseany
material,becauseweneverhadanythingtobeginwith.Peoplewhohavesomethinghavetofearlosingit,butpeoplewhodon’thaveanythingtolosehavenosuchfear.Mymotherandfatherhelpedpeopleandsomeonesaidthatinsidethevillagestherewasnobodytohelp.Therewerejeepsconstantlytravellingbetweenthevillagesandthemainroad.Sowegotintooneofthejeepsandlandedinthisvillage.Someorganizationwasgivingbamboo,campingmaterialsliketents,andotherroofingmaterials,freetoallthosepeoplewhohadlosttheirhouses.Aswehadnohome,wealsogotallthematerials.Sometimeswegotdoublebecausemymotherwasinonequeueandmyfatherinanother.’‘Whatallhaveyougot?’‘Plentyoffood.Wehavebeeneatingtoourhearts’contenteverydayandwe
havealsobeengivingsometopeoplewhowereunabletostandinthequeue.Weknowwhatitistobehungry.’‘Whydidyousettleherethen?’‘MyfatherhadasthmainMumbai.Hewasunabletobreatheandonmany
dayswewouldgohungry.Someonesaiditwasduetothepollution.Itmightbetrue,becauseafterwecamehere,hehasbeennormal,becausethere’snopollutionhere.Anyway,wehadalsobuiltourownhouse,sowedecidedtosettledown.’‘Whatjobdoesyourfatherdohere?Doeshecontinuetobeg?’‘No.Weareself-sufficientnow.Heisworkingasacoolieinanearbyfield.
HeearnsRs100aday.Ourmotheralsodoesthesamething,sotheincomeisdoubled.We’recomfortable.Theearthquakehascomelikeaboontous.’Sheaskedhersistertogetsometeaandbiscuits.Sheinquired,‘Which
biscuitsdoyouwant?’
‘Doyouhaveavariety?’Iasked,surprised.ShepulledthecurtainasideandIwasamazedtoseethevarietiesofbiscuit
packets,cartonsofBislerimineralwater,utensils,steeltrunksandotherthings.‘Fromthedayoftheearthquake,mostofusherehavebeendrinkingonly
Bisleriwater.Itseemssomeforeigncountryhassentashipfulofit.WhatIhavegivenyouisalsomineralwater.’Itooktheglassofwaterandimmediatelygulpeditdown.
10
InIndia,theWorstofBothWorlds
Mondayisthefirstworkingdayoftheweekandanextremelybusydayinouroffices.Allemailsandpapershavetobeprocessedandmeetingsheld.Longlistsofappointmentsinevitablyfillupourdiaries.Inbetweenappointments,unexpectedcallersinvariablyturnup.SecretariessweatitoutonMondaymornings.ButwehavetogetpastMondaytoreachSundayagain.IrecallonesuchMonday.Iwasengrossedincheckingandreplyingtomy
emailwhenmysecretarytoldmethatthereweretwovisitorswhohadcometomeetmewithoutanappointment.Iaskedher,‘Whatisspecialaboutthesevisitorsthatyouarelettingthemin
withoutanappointment?’Ihavegreatconfidenceinmystaffandtheirwaysofscreeningvisitors.Sherepliedinalowtone,‘Madam,oneisaveryoldmanwholooksverypale
andtheotherisamiddle-agedperson.Theysayitisveryurgentandhavebeenwaitingforquitesometime.’‘Sendthemin,’Isaid.Theycameinandsatoppositeme.Theoldmanseemedmorethanseventy
yearsold.Hewaslookingweak,tiredandworried.Hecarriedaworn-outbag.Hewasinapitiablecondition.Withhimwasamiddle-agedmanwhoalsolookedsomewhatworried.Icametothepointimmediately.‘Tellme,whatisthematter?’
Theoldmandidnottalkbutjustlookedattheyoungerman.Themiddle-agedmansaid,‘Madam,Isawthisoldmansittingnearabus
stop.Itseemshedoesnothaveanybody.Hewantssomeshelter.Unfortunately,hedoesnothaveanymoney.’Thismiddle-agedmanwantedtogoonwithallkindsofexplanations.Ioften
comeacrosspeoplewhobeataroundthebushquiteunnecessarily.Theynevertellyouwhattheywantdirectly.AsIamusedtosuchthings,Ioftencutthemshortevenattheriskofsoundingcurt.‘Whatdoyouwantmetodo?’Iaskedoutright.‘Ihavereadalotaboutyourwork.Iwantyoutohelpthisgentleman.’‘Doyouhaveanybody?’Iaskedtheoldman.Tearswelledupinhiseyes.Inalowvoicehesaid,‘No,Idonothave
anybody.’‘Whataboutyourfamily?’‘No,Idonothaveanybody.’‘Wherewereyouworkingbefore?’Iaskedmanyquestionsandhegavereasonablysatisfactoryreplies.Ifeltbadfortheoldman.Hehadnomoneyandnobodytogivehimahelping
hand.Itwasasadcase.Ithoughtofanold-agehomewithwhichwehadregularcontact.IcalledthishomeandtoldthemthatIwassendinganoldmanthereandthatheshouldbekeptthereuntilwedecidedwhatwecoulddoforhim.Themiddle-agedmansaid,‘Donotworry.Iwillgowithhimandleavehimthere.Fromthere,Iwillgotomyoffice.’Thentheyleftmyoffice.Soon,Igotlostinmyworldofwork,visitors,
vouchers,budgetsandsoon.NotthatIforgottheoldman’scase.OnceinawhileIwouldcalltheold-age
homeandinquireabouthim.Theywouldtellmethathewasfine.Ineverhadtimetothinkmoreabouthim.Iusedtosendmoneyeverymonthtotheold-agehome.Oneday,Igotacallfromthecaretakerofthehomesayingthattheoldman
wasverysickandthattheyhadadmittedhimtoahospital.CouldIcomeintheevening?Iwenttoseetheoldmanatthehospitalthatevening.
Hewasreallyunwell.Thedoctorsfelthisconditionwascriticalandthathedidnothavelongtolive.Ithoughttheremightbesomebodyhewishedtoseeatatimelikethis.Maybenothisownchildren,butperhapsanepheworasisterorbrother,atleastafriend?Wasthereanybodywecouldinform?Iaskedhim,‘Doyouwanttoseeanybody?Wewillcallwhomeveryouwant.
Doyouhaveanybody’sphonenumber?’Withatremblinghand,hewrotedownanumberandgaveittome.Wecalled
thenumberandinformedthepersonattheotherendthattheoldmanwascritical.Aftersometime,apersoncametoseehim.Helookedanxiousandworriedandwentstraighttotheoldman.IthoughtIhadseenthismanbefore.Itriedtojogmymemorybutinvain.I
justcouldn’trememberwhytheoldman’svisitorseemedsofamiliar.PerhapsheresembledsomeoneIhadmetonmytravels.Meanwhile,thedoctorcameoutandtoldmethattheoldmanhadbreathedhis
last.Ifeltsad.Ineitherknewhimnorhadanycontactwithhim.ButsomehowIfeltverysad.Afterafewminutes,thevisitorcameout.Hehadtearsinhiseyes.Hesat
downquietlyonabench.Thewholeplacewasquietanddepressing.Thecaretaker,thisvisitorandIsatinthevisitors’hall,waitingfortheformalitiestobecompleted.Thevisitorasked,‘Whereisthebaghehad?’‘Whatbag?’‘Thismancametotheold-agehomecarryingabag,’hesaid.Myinterestquickened.Howdidthevisitorknowthattherewasabag?Isentapeonbacktotheold-agehometofetchthebag.Whenitarrived,the
visitorwaseagertoopenit,butIdidnotpermithim.‘Youmaynotopenthebagunlessyouidentifyyourself.Whatisyour
relationshipwiththisoldman?Iwanttoknowhowyouknewaboutthisbag.’Heseemedveryupsetwithmyquestions.Maybehedidn’tlikeawoman
questioninghim.InIndia,menoftengetupsetwhenwomenraisequestionsthatareinconvenientforthem.Theypreferwomenwhodonotquestionwhattheydo.Fortunately,thistrendisdisappearingslowly.‘ItwasIwhoaccompaniedhimandlefthimatthishome,’saidtheman.‘Whoareyou?’Iwasverycurious.
‘Iamhisson.’YoucanimaginehowshockedIwas.NowIremembered—hewasthemiddle-
agedmanwhohadcometoourofficethatMondaymorningclaimingthathehadfoundtheoldmansittingnearabusstop.Iwasveryupset.‘Whydidyoulietome?’Ofcoursehehadastorytotell.‘Ihaveproblemsathome,’hesaid.‘Mywife
neverlikedmyfather.Sheaskedmetochoosebetweenherandhim.Atthattimewereadaboutyourfoundation.Wethoughtthenthatourproblemcouldbesolvedwithoutmoney.’Hesaidhehadnochoicebuttoappeasehiswifebecauseitwasshewhoownedthehousetheylivedin.‘Whatawaytosolveyourproblem!’Iprotested.‘Wehelppeoplewhoare
orphans,butnotorphanswithchildren.’Whenthebagwasfinallyopenedwefoundthreesetsofoldclothesinit,some
medicinesandapassbook.WhenIopenedthepassbook,Iwasastounded.Theoldmanhadabankbalanceofmorethanalakhofrupees.Theoldmanhadputdownanomineefortheaccount—hisson,thesamesonwhohadgotridofhim.Herewasasonwhowasheartlessenoughtopassoffhisfatherasdestituteinordertoadmithiminanold-agehome.Now,thesamesonhadcometoclaimhisfather’smoney.Thoughhissonhadnotwantedtolookafterhimandhadmadehimlietome
thathehadnobodyinthisworld,theoldmanneverthelesshadwantedhismoneytogotohisson.Itneverwouldhaveoccurredtohimtogivethatmoneytotheold-agehomethathadshelteredhiminhislastdays.InWesterncountries,whenoldpeopledieinold-agehomes,theyoftenwill
theirpropertytothehomeorthehospitalthatcaredforthem.Thisisforthebenefitofotherseniorcitizens.Theydonotbequeaththeirmoneytotheirchildren,nordothechildrenexpecttheirparentstodoso.ButinIndia,wehavetheworstofbothworlds:childrenneglectagedparents,andparentsroutinelyleavetheirpropertytotheirchildren.‘Itisshamefulthewayyouandyourfathercookedupthisdramaforthesake
ofafewthousandrupees!’Itoldtheman.‘Andyouaresettingabadexample.Nexttimewhenagenuinelydestitutepersonseekshelp,wewillbeunwillingtoofferit.Thememoryofpeoplelikeyouwillstayon.’Hehunghisheadinshame.
11
HowITaughtMyGrandmothertoRead
WhenIwasagirlofabouttwelve,IusedtostayinavillageinnorthKarnatakawithmygrandparents.Thosedays,thetransportsystemwasnotverygood,soweusedtogetthemorningpaperonlyintheafternoon.Theweeklymagazineusedtocomeonedaylate.Allofuswouldwaiteagerlyforthebus,whichusedtocomewiththepapers,weeklymagazinesandthepost.Atthattime,TriveniwasaverypopularwriterintheKannadalanguage.She
wasawonderfulwriter.Herstylewaseasytoreadandveryconvincing.Herstoriesusuallydealtwithcomplexpsychologicalproblemsinthelivesofordinarypeopleandwerealwaysveryinteresting.UnfortunatelyforKannadaliterature,shediedveryyoung.Evennow,afterfortyyears,peoplecontinuetoappreciatehernovels.Oneofhernovels,calledKashiYatre,wasappearingasaserialinthe
KannadaweeklyKarmaveerathen.ItisthestoryofanoldladyandherardentdesiretogotoKashiorVaranasi.MostHindusbelievethatgoingtoKashiandworshippingLordVishweshwaraistheultimatepunya.Thisoldladyalsobelievedinthis,andherstruggletogotherewasdescribedinthatnovel.Inthestorytherewasalsoayoungorphangirlwhofallsinlovebuttherewasnomoneyforthewedding.Intheend,theoldladygivesawayallhersavingstohelpthegirl,withoutgoingtoKashi.Shesays,‘ThehappinessofthisorphangirlismoreimportantthanworshippingLordVishweshwaraatKashi.’
Mygrandmother,Krishtakka,neverwenttoschoolsoshecouldnotread.EveryWednesday,themagazinewouldcomeandIwouldreadthenextepisodeofthisstorytoher.Duringthattimeshewouldforgetallherworkandlistenwiththegreatestconcentration.Later,shecouldrepeattheentiretextbyheart.MygrandmothertooneverwenttoKashi,andsheidentifiedherselfwiththenovel’sprotagonist.SomorethananybodyelseshewastheonemostinterestedinknowingwhathappenednextinthestoryandusedtoinsistthatIreadtheserialouttoher.AfterhearingwhathappenednextinKashiYatre,shewouldjoinherfriendsat
thetemplecourtyard,wherewechildrenwouldalsogathertoplayhide-and-seek.Shewoulddiscussthelatestepisodewithherfriends.Atthattime,Ineverunderstoodwhytherewassomuchdebateaboutthestory.OnceIwentforaweddingwithmycousinstotheneighbouringvillage.In
thosedays,aweddingwasagreatevent.Wechildrenenjoyedourselvesthoroughly.Wewouldeatandplayendlessly,savouringthefreedombecausealltheelderswerebusy.Iwentforacoupleofdaysbutendedupstayingthereforaweek.WhenIcamebacktomyvillage,Isawmygrandmotherintears.Iwas
surprised,forIhadneverseenhercryeveninthemostdifficultsituations.Whathadhappened?Iwasworried.‘Avva,iseverythingallright?AreyouOK?’Iusedtocallher‘Avva’,whichmeans‘mother’intheKannadaspokenin
northKarnataka.Shenoddedbutdidnotreply.Ididnotunderstandandforgotaboutit.Inthe
night,afterdinner,weweresleepingontheopenterraceofthehouse.Itwasasummernightandtherewasafullmoon.Avvacameandsatnexttome.Heraffectionatehandstouchedmyforehead.Irealizedshewantedtospeak.Iaskedher,‘Whatisthematter?’‘WhenIwasayounggirlIlostmymother.Therewasnobodytolookafter
andguideme.Myfatherwasabusymanandgotmarriedagain.Inthosedayspeopledidnotconsidereducationessentialforgirls,soIneverwenttoschool.Igotmarriedveryyoungandhadchildren.Ibecameverybusy.LaterIhadgrandchildrenandalwaysfeltsomuchhappinessincookingandfeedingallof
you.AttimesIusedtoregretnotgoingtoschool,soImadesurethatmychildrenandgrandchildrenstudiedwell...’Icouldnotunderstandwhymysixty-two-year-oldgrandmotherwastelling
me,atwelve-year-old,thestoryofherlifeinthemiddleofthenight.ButIknewIlovedherimmenselyandtherehadtobesomereasonwhyshewastalkingtome.Ilookedatherface.Itwasunhappyandhereyeswerefilledwithtears.Shewasagood-lookingladywhowasusuallyalwayssmiling.EventodayIcannotforgettheworriedexpressiononherface.Ileantforwardandheldherhand.‘Avva,don’tcry.Whatisthematter?CanIhelpyouinanyway?’‘Yes,Ineedyourhelp.Youknowwhenyouwereaway,Karmaveeracameas
usual.Iopenedthemagazine.IsawthepicturethataccompaniesthestoryofKashiYatreandIcouldnotunderstandanythingthatwaswritten.ManytimesIrubbedmyhandsoverthepageswishingtheycouldunderstandwhatwaswritten.ButIknewitwasnotpossible.‘IfonlyIwaseducatedenough.Iwaitedeagerlyforyoutoreturn.Ifeltyou
wouldcomeearlyandreadforme.Ieventhoughtofgoingtothevillageandaskingyoutoreadforme.IcouldhaveaskedsomebodyinthisvillagebutIwastooembarrassedtodoso.Ifeltsodependentandhelpless.Wearewelloff,butwhatuseismoneywhenIcannotbeindependent?’Ididnotknowwhattoanswer.Avvacontinued.‘IhavedecidedIwanttolearntheKannadaalphabetfromtomorrow.Iwill
workveryhard.IwillkeepSaraswatiPujadayduringDasaraasthedeadline.ThatdayIshouldbeabletoreadanovelonmyown.Iwanttobeindependent.’Isawthedeterminationonherface.YetIlaughedather.‘Avva,atthisageofsixty-twoyouwanttolearnthealphabet?Allyourhairis
grey,yourhandsarewrinkled,youwearspectaclesandyouworksomuchinthekitchen...’ChildishlyImadefunoftheoldlady.Butshejustsmiled.‘Foragoodcauseifyouaredetermined,youcanovercomeanyobstacle.I
willworkharderthananybody,butIwilldoit.Forlearningthereisnoagebar.’ThenextdayonwardsIstartedmytuition.Avvawasawonderfulstudent.The
amountofhomeworkshedidwasamazing.Shewouldread,repeat,writeandrecite.Iwasheronlyteacherandshewasmyfirststudent.LittledidIknowthenthatonedayIwouldbecomeateacherincomputerscienceandteachhundredsofstudents.
TheDasarafestivalcameasusual.SecretlyIboughtKashiYatrewhichhadbeenpublishedasanovelbythattime.Mygrandmothercalledmetothepujaplaceandmademesitdownonastool.Shegavemethegiftofadressmaterial.Thenshedidsomethingunusual.Shebentdownandtouchedmyfeet.Iwassurprisedandtakenaback.Eldersnevertouchthefeetofyoungsters.WehavealwaystouchedthefeetofGod,eldersandteachers.Weconsiderthatasamarkofrespect.Itisagreattraditionbuttodaythereversehadhappened.Itwasnotcorrect.Shesaid,‘Iamtouchingthefeetofateacher,notmygranddaughter;ateacher
whotaughtmesowell,withsomuchaffectionthatIcanreadanynovelconfidentlyaftersuchashortperiod.NowIamindependent.Itismydutytorespectateacher.Isitnotwritteninourscripturesthatateachershouldberespected,irrespectiveofgenderandage?’Ididreturnnamaskaratoherbytouchingherfeetandgavemygifttomyfirst
student.SheopeneditandreadimmediatelythetitleKashiYatrebyTriveniandthepublisher’sname.Iknewthenthatmystudenthadpassedwithflyingcolours.
12
Rahman’sAvva
Rahmanwasayoungandsoft-spokenemployeewhoworkedinaBPO.HewasalsoanactivevolunteerinourFoundation.Hewouldnottalkwithoutreasonandwouldneverboastabouthisachievements.Rahmanwasaperfectionist.Soanyassignmentgiventohimwasdone
exceedinglywell.HeworkedfortheFoundationontheweekendsandwasverykindtothechildrenintheorphanage.Hespenthisownmoneyandalwaysbroughtsweetsforthechildren.Ireallylikedhim.Sinceweworkedcloselytogether,helearntthatIamfromnorthKarnataka,
fromDharwaddistrict.Mylanguagehasthatarea’saccentandmyloveforDharwadfoodisverywellknown.Oneday,Rahmancameandaskedme,‘Madam,ifyouarefreethisSunday,willyoucometomyhouse?Mymotherandsisterarevisitingme.Incidentally,mymotherisalsofromDharwaddistrict.MyfamilyhasreadyourcolumnsinKannadaandyourbookstoo.WhenItoldthemthatIamworkingwithyou,theyexpressedtheirearnestdesiretomeetyou.Isitpossibleforyoutohavelunchwithus?’‘WillyouassuremethatI’llgetagoodDharwadmeal?’Ijoked.‘Iassureyou,madam.Mymotherisagreatcook.’‘Comeon,Rahman.Everyboygivesthiscomplimenttohismother,however
badshemaybeatcooking.Itisthemother’slovethatmakesthefoodgreat.’‘No,shereallyisanamazingcook.Evenmywifesaysso.’
‘Thenshemustbereallygreatbecausenodaughter-in-lawpraiseshermother-in-law’scookingwithoutmerit.’Ismiled.‘Bytheway,whichvillageinDharwaddistrictdotheycomefrom?’HetoldmethenameofavillagenearRanebennurthatIhadneverheardof.I
happilyagreedtovisitthemforlunch.ThatSunday,Itooksomeflowersalong.Rahman’snewlyconstructed
apartmentwasonBannerghattaRoadnearthezoo.WhenIenteredhishome,Imethiswife,Salma.Shewasasmartandgood-lookinggirl.Sheworkedasateacherinthekindergartennearby.Then,hecalledouttohisavva.Amotherisusuallyreferredtoas‘avva’in
northKarnataka.Anoldladywithgreyhaircameoutofthekitchen.Rahmanintroducedher,‘Thisismymother.’Iwasabitsurprised—shewasnotquitewhatIhadexpected.Shewaswearingahugebindithesizeofa25-paisacoinandanIlkalsariwithlotsofgreenbanglesonbotharms.Shekeptthesaripalluonherhead.Shehadacontentedsmileonherfaceandwithfoldedhandsshesaid,‘Namaste.’Rahman’ssisterenteredfromanotherroom.Shewassodifferentfrom
Rahman.Rahmanwasfairandveryhandsome.Hissisterwastallanddark.Shewaswearingacottonsariwithasmallerbindithanhermotherandalsohadtwogoldbanglesonherhands.Rahmansaid,‘ThisismysisterUsha.ShestaysinHirekerur.Bothherhusbandandsheareschoolteachers.’IfeltconfusedaftermeetingRahman’smotherandsisterbutIdidnotaskany
questions.AfterIsatdowncomfortably,Ushasaid,‘Madam,weloveyourstories
becausewefeelconnectedtothem.Iteachsomeofyourchildren’sstoriesatschool.’Salmaalsojoinedtheconversation.‘EvenIlikethem,butmystudentsaretoo
youngtounderstand.’Rahmansmiledandsaid,‘Youmustbesurprisedtoseemymotherandsister.
Iwanttosharemystorywithyou.’HismotherwentbacktothekitchenandUshastartedcleaningthetable.
Salmawenttohelphermother-in-law.Onlythetwoofusremained.‘Madam,youmustbewonderingwhymymotherandsisterareHinduswhile
IamaMuslim.OnlyyoucanunderstandandappreciatemylifestorybecauseI
haveseenyouhelpingpeoplefromallreligionsandcommunitieswithoutbias.Irememberyourcommenttome:wecan’tchoosethecommunityorreligionthatweareborninto,soweshouldneverthinkthatourcommunityisouridentity.’Rahmanpaused,thencontinued,‘Madam,IbelieveinthattoobecauseIhave
alsobeenbroughtupthatway.Iwanttosharemylifeandmyperspectivewithyou.’Rahmanstartedhisstory.‘Thirtyyearsago,KashibaiandDatturamlivedontheoutskirtsofourvillage
withtheirsix-month-olddaughter,Usha.Theylookedaftertheten-acrefieldoftheirlandlord,SrikantDesai,wholivedinBombay.Srikantonlycameonceayeartocollecttherevenue.ThefieldwasverylargeanditwastoomuchforKashibaiandDatturamtohandle.So,theyrequestedthelandlordtogetanotherfamilytostaywiththemandhelpwiththefield.Theyalsowelcomedthethoughtofhavingcompany.‘Srikantcontactedhisacquaintancesandfoundasuitablefamily.Soon,
FatimaBiandHusainSaabcametothevillage.TheyoccupiedoneportionofthehouseandtheotherportionstayedwithKashibaiandDatturam.HusainSaabandDatturamgotalongverywell.However,KashibaiandFatimaBididn’tseeeyetoeyeatall.Itisnotthattheywerebadwomenbuttheirnatureswereverydifferent.Kashibaiwasloud,veryfrankandhard-working.FatimaBiwasquiet,lazyandanintrovert.Inevitably;therewasafight.Itallstartedwithahen.Kashibai’shenwouldcometoFatimaBi’sportionofthehouseandlayeggs.FatimaBiwouldn’treturntheeggsbecauseshethoughtthatherhenhadlaidthem.KashibaieventriedcolouringherhentodistinguishitfromFatimaBi’s.Boththeladiessharedacommonwellandwouldfightbecausebothwantedtowashtheirvesselsandclothesalmostalwaysatthesametime.Theyalsofoughtabouttheirgoats.FatimaBi’sgoatscameandateKashibai’sflowersandleaves,whichsheusedforherpuja.Sometimes,Kashibai’sgoatswenttoFatimaBi’splaceandlefttheirdroppingsbehind.FatimaBiwouldn’treturnthedroppingseither.’‘What’ssogreataboutdroppings?’Iinterrupted.‘Madam,goatdroppingsareusedasmanure.’‘Oh,Iunderstand.Pleasecontinue,’IurgedRahman.
‘ThefightscontinuedandsometimesKashibaifeltthatshehadmadeamistaketotelltheirlandlordthattheywantedneighbours.ShefeltthatshehadbeenveryhappywithoutFatimaBi.FatimaBialsowantedtoleavethefarmandgotosomeothervillagebutHusainSaabdidn’tagree.Hewouldsay,“Youwomenfightaboutunnecessarythings.Thisisagoodopportunityforustomakemoney.Thelandisfertileandthereisplentyofwater.Ourlandlordisgoodandhardlyvisits.Wecaneasilygrowvegetables.WherecanIgetsuchworknearby?YoushouldalsobecomeactivelikeKashibaianddropyourego.Trytoadjustwithher.”Thesameconversationwouldhappenontheothersideofthehouse.Datturamwouldtellhiswife,“Don’tbesoaggressive.YoushouldmellowdownlikeFatima.Thoughsheislazy,sheisgood-natured.”‘Butasusual,bothwomenneverlistenedtotheirhusbands.‘Astimewentby,Kashibai’sdaughterUshaturnedtwoyearsold.FatimaBi
lovedchildrenandenjoyedwatchingUshaplayinthefield.FatimaBilikedhennaalot.Everymonth,shecolouredherhandswithhennafromtheplantinthefieldandUshaalwaysjoinedher.Ushawasfascinatedwiththebeautifulorangecolour.Shewouldcomehomeandtellhermother,“Whycan’tyoualsocolouryourhandslikeFatimaKaku?”(Kakuisequivalentto‘aunt’inthelocallanguage.)‘ThiscommentirritatedKashibai.Shesaid,“Fatimacanaffordtocolourher
handsbecauseherhusbandworksandalsohelpsinthekitchen.Shesitsonthebedandlistenstotheradio.IfIdothat,willyourfathercomeandworkinthekitchen?”FatimaBiwouldoverheartheirconversationbutstillshecontinuedherfriendshipwithlittleUsha.‘WhenFatimabecamepregnant,shebecameevenlazier.Sheeventually
reachedfulltermandadistantrelativecametohelpherwithherdelivery.Afewdayslater,therewasafestivalinthevillageandDatturamandhisfamilywenttoattendit.Whentheycameback,FatimaBiwasnotthere.Shewasalreadyinthehospitalincriticalconditionandhaddeliveredason.Thehousewasincompletesilence.ButthesilencewasdeafeningtoKashibai’sears.Shestartedcrying.ShewasverysadbecauseFatimaBiwasinthehospitalinsuchaseriouscondition.Thenextday,theylearntthatFatimaBiwasnomore.‘HusainSaabwasleftwithhisnewbornson.Themidwifestayedforamonth
andleft.ItwasanuphilltaskforHusainSaabtolookafterasmallbaby.Neither
HusainSaabnorFatimaBihadanyrelativeswhocouldtakecareofthelittleone.Mostofthemwerecooliesandanewbornchildwouldonlybeaburdentotherelatives.DatturamwasverysympatheticandallowedHusainSaabtoworklessinthefieldbuttakingcareofasmallbabyaloneisverydifficult.‘Onenight,thechildstartedcryingnon-stopandKashibaicouldnottakeit.
Shefeltthatenoughwasenough.Afterall,itwasalittlebaby.Awomanissodifferentfromamanwhenitcomestorearingachild.HermotherlyinstinctmadehergonextdoorandtaponHusainSaab’sdoorwithoutevenwaitingforherhusband.WhenHusainSaabopenedthedoor,shetoldhim,“HusainSaab,givemethebaby.Iamamother.Iknowhowtohandlehim.”Shepickedupthebabyboy,heldhiminherpalluandbroughthimtoherhouse,holdinghimtightlytoherchest.Thebabyboystoppedcryingimmediately.Forthefirsttimesincethebabywasborn,HusainSaabsleptthroughthenightcomfortably.‘Thenextday,KashibaitoldHusainSaab,“Iwilllookafterthischilduntil
yougetmarriedagain.Don’tworry.”SheforgotherenmitywithFatimaBiandevenfeltashamed.ShethoughtthatsheshouldhavebeennicertoFatimaBi.Now,Kashibaididnotevenbotheraboutwherethedroppingsofthegoatsfellorwherethehenslaidtheireggs.Forher,lookingafterthebabywasmoreimportant.ThebabywasnamedRahmanand,toeveryone’ssurprise,HusainSaabdidnotremarry.RahmangrewupinKashibai’shouseandstartedcallingherAvvaandUshabecamehisakka.Rahmancontinuedtosleepinhisfather’shousebutassoonasthesunrose,herantoKashibai’shousetogetready.WhileUshabathedonherown,KashibaibathedlittleRahman.Shegavethembreakfast,packedtheirlunchesandwalkedthemtoschool.ThoughUshawastwoyearsolderthanRahman,Kashibaimadesurethattheystudiedinthesameclass.Kashibaiworkedinthefieldintheafternoonandbroughtthechildrenbackintheevenings.HusainSaabcookedRahman’sdinnerandRahmanwouldgobackandsleepwithhisfatheratnight.Thiscontinuedfortenyears.‘WhenRahmanwastenandUshawastwelveyearsold,HusainSaabfellill
andallhissavingswerespentonhistreatment.Meanwhile,Kashibaipurchasedtwoshe-buffaloesandstartedamilkbusiness.Shestartedearningmoremoneythanherhusband.‘Thatsameyear,HusainSaabdiedoftuberculosis.Rahmanwasleftallalone.
TherewerehardlyanypeopleatHusainSaab’sburial.Adistantunclecameand
toldthemullahthathewouldtakecareofRahman.ButwhenthetimecametotakeRahmanaway,theuncledidnotturnupatall.Withoutasecondthought,DatturamandKashibaitookhimin.RahmanwashappytostayinKashibai’shouse.‘KashibaiwasveryconsciousaboutRahman’sreligion.EveryFriday,shesent
himfornamazandonholidaysshesenthimforKoranclassatthelocalmosque.ShetoldhimtoparticipateinallMuslimfestivalseventhoughtherewereveryfewMuslimsinthevillage.RahmanalsotookpartintheHindufestivalscelebratedinhishouse.DatturamandKashibaiboughttwocyclesforboththekids.RahmanandUshacycledtohighschoolandlatertheyalsorodetheircyclestothesamecollege.‘Eventually,theygraduatedandthatdayKashibaitoldRahman,
“Unfortunately,wedon’thaveapictureofyourparents.So,turntowardsMeccaandpraytoAllah.PraytoFatimaBiandHusainSaab.Theywillblessyou.Youarenowgrownupandindependent.Ushaisgettingmarriednextmonth.MyresponsibilitytobothUshaandyouisnowover.”‘Kashibai’saffectionanddevotionoverwhelmedRahman,whocouldnot
rememberhisownmother’sface.HeprayedtoAllahandhisparentsandthentouchedKashibai’sfeet.Hesaid,“Avva,youaremyammi.YouaremyMecca.”‘RahmangotajobinaBPOinBangaloreandlefthome.Heworkedfor
differentfirmsforafewyears,sawgrowthinhiscareerandstartedearningagoodsalary.HemetSalmaatafriend’sweddingandfellinlovewithher.‘AftergettingKashibaiandDatturam’sapproval,hegotmarriedtoSalma.’Whenhefinishedhisstory,Rahmanwasveryemotionalandintears.IwasamazedatKashibai.Shewasuneducatedbutveryadvancedinhuman
values.Iwassurprisedandhumbledbythelargenessofherheart.Kashibaihadraisedtheboywithhisownreligionandstilllovedhimlikeherson.Bythistime,lunchwasreadyandUshainvitedmetoeat.Whilehavingthe
deliciouslunch,IaskedUsha,‘Whatmadeyoudecidetovisithere?’‘IhaveholidaysatschoolandItookanextendedvacationsoIcouldcomefor
Panchami.’Panchamiisafestivalcelebratedmostlybygirls,particularlymarriedwomen,
whocometotheirbrother’shouse.ItissimilartotheRakhifestivalinthenorth,whereabrotheracknowledgeshissister’slove.Irecalledourhistoryand
rememberedthatQueenKarunavatihadsentarakhitoEmperorHumayun,seekinghisprotection.Now,IlookedatthewallinthediningroomandforthefirsttimeInoticed
twopicturesinRahman’shouse,oneofMeccaandtheotherofKrishna,bothhangingsidebyside.
13
CattleClass
Lastyear,IwasattheHeathrowAirportinLondon,abouttoboardaflight.Usually,IwearasarievenwhenIamabroad,butIpreferwearingasalwar-kameezwhiletravelling.SothereIwas—aseniorcitizendressedintypicalIndianapparelattheterminalgate.Sincetheboardinghadn’tstarted,Isatdownandbegantoobservemy
surroundings.TheflightwasboundforBengaluruandsoIcouldhearpeoplearoundmechattinginKannada.Isawmanyoldmarriedcouplesofmyage—theyweremostlikelycomingbackfromtheUSorUKafterhelpingtheirchildreneitherthroughchildbirthoranewhome.IsawsomeBritishbusinessexecutivestalkingtoeachotheraboutIndia’sprogress.Someteenagerswerebusywiththegadgetsintheirhandswhiletheyoungerchildrenwerecryingorrunningaboutthegate.Afterafewminutes,theboardingannouncementwasmadeandIjoinedthe
queue.Thewomaninfrontofmewasawell-groomedladyinanIndo-Westernsilkoutfit,aGuccihandbagandhighheels.Everysinglestrandofherhairwasinplaceandafriendstoodnexttoherinanexpensivesilksari,pearlnecklace,matchingearringsanddelicatediamondbangles.IlookedatthevendingmachinenearbyandwonderedifIshouldleavethe
queuetogetsomewater.
Suddenly,thewomaninfrontofmeturnedsidewaysandlookedatmewithwhatseemedlikepityinhereyes.Extendingherhand,sheasked,‘MayIseeyourboardingpass,please?’Iwasabouttohandovermypasstoher,butsinceshedidn’tseemlikean
airlineemployee,Iasked,‘Why?’‘Well,thislineismeantforbusiness-classtravellersonly,’shesaid
confidentlyandpointedherfingertowardstheeconomy-classqueue.‘Youshouldgoandstandthere,’shesaid.IwasabouttotellherthatIhadabusiness-classticketbut,onsecond
thoughts,heldback.IwantedtoknowwhyshehadthoughtthatIwasn’tworthyofbeinginthebusinessclass.SoIrepeated,‘WhyshouldIstandthere?’Shesighed.‘Letmeexplain.Thereisabigdifferenceinthepriceofan
economy-andabusiness-classticket.Thelattercostsalmosttwoandahalftimesmorethan...’‘Ithinkitisthreetimesmore,’herfriendinterrupted.‘Exactly,’saidthewoman.‘Sotherearecertainprivilegesthatareassociated
withabusiness-classticket.’‘Really?’Idecidedtobemischievousandpretendednottoknow.‘Whatkind
ofprivilegesareyoutalkingabout?’Sheseemedannoyed.‘Weareallowedtobringtwobagsbutyoucanonlytake
one.Wecanboardtheflightfromanother,less-crowdedqueue.Wearegivenbettermealsandseats.Wecanextendtheseatsandliedownflatonthem.Wealwayshavetelevisionscreensandtherearefourwashroomsforasmallnumberofpassengers.’Herfriendadded,‘Aprioritycheck-infacilityisavailableforourbags,which
meanstheywillcomefirstuponarrivalandwegetmorefrequent-flyermilesforthesameflight.’‘Nowthatyouknowthedifference,youcangototheeconomyline,’insisted
thewoman.‘ButIdon’twanttogothere.’Iwasfirm.Theladyturnedtoherfriend.‘Itishardtoarguewiththesecattle-class
people.Letthestaffcomeandinstructherwheretogo.Sheisn’tgoingtolistentous.’
Ididn’tgetangry.Theword‘cattleclass’waslikeablastfromthepastandremindedmeofanotherincident.Oneday,IhadgonetoanupscaledinnerpartyinmyhomecityofBengaluru.
Plentyoflocalcelebritiesandsocialiteswereinattendance.IwasspeakingtosomeguestsinKannada,whenamancametomeandsaidveryslowlyandclearlyinEnglish,‘MayIintroducemyself?Iam...’ItwasobviousthathethoughtthatImighthaveaproblemunderstandingthe
language.Ismiled.‘YoucanspeaktomeinEnglish.’‘Oh,’hesaid,slightlyflabbergasted.‘I’msorry.Ithoughtyouweren’t
comfortablewithEnglishbecauseIheardyouspeakinginKannada.’‘There’snothingshamefulinknowingone’snativelanguage.Itis,infact,my
rightandmyprivilege.IonlyspeakinEnglishwhensomebodycan’tunderstandKannada.’ThelineinfrontofmeattheairportbeganmovingforwardandIcameoutof
myreverie.Thetwowomenaheadwerewhisperingamongthemselves.‘Nowshewillbesenttotheotherline.Itissolongnow!Wetriedtotellherbutsherefusedtolistentous.’Whenitwasmyturntoshowmyboardingpasstotheattendant,Isawthem
stopandwaitashortdistanceaway,waitingtoseewhatwouldhappen.Theattendanttookmyboardingpassandsaidbrightly,‘Welcomeback!Wemetlastweek,didn’twe?’‘Yes,’Ireplied.Shesmiledandmovedontothenexttraveller.Iwalkedafewstepsaheadofthewomenintendingtoletthisgo,butthenI
changedmymindandcameback.‘Pleasetellme—whatmadeyouthinkthatIcouldn’taffordabusiness-classticket?EvenifIdidn’thaveone,wasitreallyyourprerogativetotellmewhereIshouldstand?DidIaskyouforhelp?’Thewomenstaredatmeinsilence.‘Yourefertotheterm“cattleclass”.Classdoesnotmeanpossessionofahuge
amountofmoney,’Icontinued,unabletostopmyselffromgivingthemapieceofmymind.‘Thereareplentyofwrongwaystoearnmoneyinthisworld.Youmayberichenoughtobuycomfortandluxuries,butthesamemoneydoesn’tdefineclassorgiveyoutheabilitytopurchaseit.MotherTeresawasaclassy
woman.SoisManjulBhargava,agreatmathematicianofIndianorigin.Theconceptthatyouautomaticallygainclassbyacquiringmoneyisoutdated.’Ileftwithoutwaitingforareply.Approximatelyeighthourslater,Ireachedmydestination.Itwasaweekday
andIrushedtoofficeassoonasIcouldonlytolearnthatmydaywasgoingtobespentinmultiplemeetings.Afewhourslater,IrequestedmyprogramdirectortohandlethelastmeetingofthedaybyherselfasIwasalreadystartingtofeeltiredandjet-lagged.‘Iamreallysorry,butyourpresenceisessentialforthatdiscussion,’she
replied.‘Ourmeetingiswiththeorganization’sCEOandsheiskeentomeetyouinperson.ShehasbeenfollowingupwithmeforafewmonthsnowandthoughIhavecommunicatedourdecision,shefeelsthatadiscussionwithyouwillchangetheoutcome.Ihavealreadyinformedherthatthedecisionwillnotbereversedirrespectiveofwhomshemeets,butsherefusestotakemeatmyword.Iurgeyoutomeetherandclosethischapter.’Iwasn’tnewtothissituationandreluctantlyagreed.Timewentbyquicklyandsoon,Ihadtogoinforthelastmeetingoftheday.
Justthen,Ireceivedanemergencycall.‘Goaheadwiththemeeting,’Isaidtotheprogramdirector.‘Iwilljoinyou
later.’WhenIenteredtheconferenceroomafterfifteenminutes,Isawthesame
womenfromtheairportinthemiddleofapresentation.Tomysurprise,theyweresimplydressed—onewaswearingasimplekhadisariwhiletheotherworeanunglamoroussalwar-kameez.Theclotheswereareminderofthestereotypethatisstillrampanttoday.Justlikeoneisexpectedtowearthefinestofsilksforawedding,socialworkersmustpresentthemselvesinaplainanduninterestingmanner.Whentheysawme,therewasanawkwardpausethatlastedforonlyafewsecondsbeforeoneofthemacknowledgedmypresenceandcontinuedthepresentationasifnothinghadhappened.‘Mycoffeeestateisinthisvillage.Alltheestateworkers’childrengotoa
governmentschoolnearby.Manyaresharpandintelligentbuttheschoolhasnofacilities.Thebuildingdoesn’tevenhavearooforcleandrinkingwater.Therearenobenches,toiletsorlibrary.Youcanseechildrenintheschool...’‘Butnoteachers,’Icompletedthesentence.
Shenoddedandsmiled.‘Werequestthefoundationtobegenerousandprovidetheschoolwithproperfacilities,includinganauditorium,sothatthepoorkidscanenjoytheessentialsofabigschool.’Myprogramdirectoropenedhermouthtosaysomething,butIsignalledher
tostop.‘Howmanychildrenarethereintheschool?’Iasked.‘Around250.’‘Howmanyofthemarethechildrenoftheestateworkers?’‘Allofthem.MyfathergottheschoolsanctionedwhenhewastheMLA,’she
saidproudly.‘Ourfoundationhelpsthosewhodon’thaveanygodfathersorgodmothers.
Thinkofthehomelessmanontheroadorthedaily-wageworker.Mostofthemhavenoonetheycanruntointimesofcrisis.Wehelpthechildrenofsuchpeople.Theestateworkershelpyourbusinessprosperandinreturn,youcanaffordtohelpthem.Infact,itisyourdutytodoso.Helpingthemalsohelpsyouinthelongrun,butitisthefoundation’sinternalpolicytoworkforthedisadvantagedinprojectswhereallthebenefitsgodirectlyandsolelytotheunderprivilegedalone.Maybethisconceptisbeyondtheunderstandingofthecattleclass.’Boththewomenlookedateachother,unsureofhowtorespond.Ilookedatmyprogramdirectorandsaid,‘Hey,Iwanttotellyouastory.’Icouldseefromherfacethatshewasfeelingawkward.Astoryinthemiddle
ofaseriousmeeting?Ibegan,‘GeorgeBernardShawwasagreatthinkerofhistimes.Oneday,a
dinnerwasarrangedataBritishclubinhishonour.Therulesoftheclubmandatedthatthemenwearasuitandatie.Itwasprobablythedefinitionofclassinthosedays.‘BernardShaw,beingwhohewas,walkedintotheclubinhisusualcasual
attire.Thedoormanlookedathimandsaidverypolitely,“Sorry,sir,Icannotallowyoutoenterthepremises.”‘“Whynot?”‘“Youaren’tfollowingthedresscodeoftheclub,sir.”‘“Well,today’sdinnerisinmyhonour,soitismywordsthatmatter,notwhat
Iwear,”repliedBernard,perfectlyreasonableinhisexplanation.
‘“Sir,whateveritmaybe,Ican’tallowyouinsideintheseclothes.”‘Shawtriedtoconvincethedoormanbuthewouldn’tbudgefromhisstance.
Sohewalkedallthewaybacktohishouse,changedintoappropriateclothesandenteredtheclub.‘Ashortwhilelater,theroomwasfull,withpeoplesittinginanticipationof
hisspeech.Hestooduptoaddresstheaudience,butfirstremovedhiscoatandtieandplaceditonachair.“Iamnotgoingtotalktoday,”heannounced.‘Thereweresurprisedmurmursintheaudience.Thosewhoknewhim
personallyaskedhimaboutthereasonforhisout-of-characterbehaviour.‘Shawnarratedtheincidentthathappenedawhileagoandsaid,“WhenIwore
acoatandtie,Iwasallowedtocomeinside.MymindisinnowayaffectedbytheclothesIwear.‘“Thismeansthattoallofyouwhopatronizetheclub,theclothesaremore
importantthanmybrain.Soletthecoatandthetietakemyplaceinstead.”‘Sayingthus,hewalkedoutoftheroom.’Istoodup.‘Themeetingisover,’Isaid.Weexchangedcursorygoodbyesand
Iwalkedbacktomyroom.Myprogramdirectorfollowedme.‘Yourdecisionregardingtheschoolwas
right.Butwhatwasthatotherstoryallabout?Andwhynow?Whatisthiscattle-classbusiness?Ididn’tunderstandathing!’Ismiledatherobviousconfusion.‘Onlythecattle-classfolkswillunderstand
whathappenedbackthere.Youdon’tworryaboutit.’
14
TheOldManandHisGod
Afewyearsback,IwastravellinginThanjavurdistrictofTamilNadu.Itwasgettingdark,andduetoadepressionovertheBayofBengal,itwasrainingheavily.Theroadswereoverflowingwithwaterandmydriverstoppedthecarnearavillage.‘Thereisnowaywecanproceedfurtherinthisrain,’saidthedriver.‘Whydon’tyoulookforsheltersomewherenearbyratherthansitinthecar?’Strandedinanunknownplaceamongunknownpeople,Iwasabitworried.
Nevertheless,Iretrievedmyumbrellaandmarchedoutintothepeltingrain.Istartedwalkingtowardsthetinyvillage,whosenameIcannotrecallnow.Therewasnoelectricityanditwasatrialwalkinginthedarknessandtherain.InthedistanceIcouldjustmakeouttheshapeofasmalltemple.Idecideditwouldbeanidealplacetotakeshelter,soImademywaytoit.Halfwaythere,therainstartedcomingdownevenmorefiercelyandthestrongwindblewmyumbrellaaway,leavingmecompletelydrenched.Ireachedthetemplesoakingwet.AssoonasIentered,Iheardanelderlyperson’svoicecallingouttome.ThoughIcannotspeakTamil,Icouldmakeouttheconcerninthevoice.Inthecourseofmytravels,Ihavecometorealizethatvoicesfromtheheartcanbeunderstoodirrespectiveofthelanguagetheyspeak.Ipeeredintothedarknessofthetempleandsawanoldmanofabouteighty.
Standingnexttohimwasanequallyoldladyinatraditionalnine-yardcotton
sari.Shesaidsomethingtohimandthenapproachedmewithawornbutcleantowelinherhand.AsIwipedmyfaceandheadInoticedthatthemanwasblind.Itwasobviousfromtheirsurroundingsthattheywereverypoor.TheShivatemple,whereInowstood,wassimplewiththeminimumofostentationinitsdecorations.TheShivalingawasbareexceptforabilwaleafontop.Theonlylightcamefromasingleoillamp.Inthatflickeringlight,asenseofcalmovercamemeandIfeltmyselfclosertoGodthaneverbefore.InhaltingTamil,Iaskedthemantoperformtheeveningmangalarati,which
hedidwithloveanddedication.Whenhefinished,Igavehimahundred-rupeenoteasthedakshina.Hetouchedthenoteandpulledawayhishand,lookinguncomfortable.
Politelyhesaid,‘Amma,Icanmakeoutthatthenoteisnotfortenrupees,themostweusuallyreceive.Whoeveryoumaybe,inatemple,yourdevotionisimportant,notyourmoney.Evenourancestorshavesaidthatadevoteeshouldgiveasmuchasheorshecanaffordto.TomeyouareadevoteeofShiva,likeeveryoneelsewhocomeshere.Pleasetakebackthismoney.’Iwastakenaback.Ididnotknowhowtoreact.Ilookedattheman’swife
expectinghertoarguewithhimandurgehimtotakethemoney,butshejuststoodquietly.Often,inmanyhouseholds,awifeencouragestheman’sgreediness.Here,itwastheopposite.Shewasendorsingherhusband’sviews.SoIsatdownwiththem,andwiththewindandrainwhippingupafrenzyoutside,wetalkedaboutourlives.Iaskedthemaboutthemselves,theirlifeinthevillagetempleandwhethertheyhadanyonetolookafterthem.FinallyIsaid,‘Bothofyouareold.Youdon’thaveanychildrentolookafter
youreverydayneeds.Inoldageonerequiresmoremedicinesthangroceries.Thisvillageisfarfromanyofthetownsinthedistrict.CanIsuggestsomethingtoyou?’Atthattime,wehadstartedanold-agepensionschemeandIthought,looking
attheirworn-outbutcleanclothes,theywouldbetheidealcandidatesforit.Thistimethewifespokeup,‘Pleasedotell,child.’‘Iwillsendyousomemoney.Keepitinanationalizedbankorpostoffice.
Theinterestonthatcanbeusedforyourmonthlyneeds.Ifthereisamedicalemergencyyoucanusethecapital.’
Theoldmansmiledonhearingmywordsandhisfacelitupbrighterthanthelamp.‘Yousoundmuchyoungerthanus.Youarestillfoolish.WhydoIneedmoney
inthisgreatoldage?LordShivaisalsoknownasVaidyanathan.HeistheMahavaidya,orgreatdoctor.Thisvillageweliveinhasmanykindpeople.Iperformthepujaandtheygivemericeinreturn.Ifeitherofusisunwell,thelocaldoctorgivesusmedicines.Ourwantsareveryfew.WhywouldIacceptmoneyfromanunknownperson?IfIkeepthismoneyinthebank,likeyouaretellingmeto,someonewillcometoknowandmayharassus.WhyshouldItakeontheseworries?Youareakindpersontoofferhelptotwounknownoldpeople.Butwearecontent;letusliveaswealwayshave.Wedon’tneedanythingmore.’Justthentheelectricitycamebackandabrightlightlitupthetemple.Forthe
firsttimeIsawthecoupleproperly.Icouldclearlyseethepeaceandhappinessontheirfaces.TheywerethefirstpeopleImetwhorefusedhelpinspiteoftheirobviousneed.Ididnotagreewitheverythinghehadjustsaid,butitwascleartomethathiscontentmenthadbroughthimpeace.Suchanattitudemaynotletyouprogressfast,butafteracertainperiodinlifeitisrequired.PerhapsthisworldwithitsmanystressesandstrainshasmuchtolearnfromanoldcoupleinaforgettablecornerofIndia.
15
ALessoninLifefromaBeggar
Meenaisagoodfriendofmine.SheisanLICofficerearningagoodsalary.Buttherewasalwayssomethingstrangeabouther.Shewasforeverunhappy.WheneverImether,Iwouldstarttofeeldepressed.Itwasasthoughhergloomandcynicismhadawayofspreadingtoothers.Sheneverhadanythingpositivetosayonanysubjectoraboutanyperson.Forinstance,Imightsaytoher,‘Meena,didyouknowRakeshhascomefirst
inhisschool?’Meena’simmediateresponsewouldbetobelittletheachievement.‘Naturally,
hisfatherisaschoolteacher,’shewouldsay.IfIsaid,‘Meena,Shwethaisaverybeautifulgirl,isn’tshe?’Meenawouldbe
pessimistic.‘Whenaponyisyoung,helookshandsome.Itisagethatmatters.Waitforsometime.Shwethawillbeuglierthananyoneyouknow.’‘Meena,it’sabeautifulday.Let’sgoforawalk.’‘No,thesunistoohotandIgettiredifIwalktoomuch.Besides,whosays
walkingisgoodforhealth?There’snoproof.’ThatwasMeena.Shestayedaloneinanapartmentasherparentslivedin
Delhi.Shewasanonlychildandhadthehabitofcomplainingaboutanythingandeverything.Naturally,shewasn’tverypleasantcompanyandnobodywantedtovisither.Thenoneday,MeenawastransferredtoBombayandsoonweallforgotabouther.
Manyyearslater,IfoundmyselfcaughtintherainatBombay’sFloraFountain.ItwaspouringandIdidn’thaveanumbrella.IwasstandingnearAkbarallys,apopulardepartmentstore,waitingfortheraintosubside.Suddenly,IspottedMeena.Myfirstreactionwastorun,eveninthatpouringrain.Iwasanxioustoavoidbeingseenbyher,havingtolistentohernever-endingcomplaints.However,Icouldn’tescape.Shehadalreadyseenmeandcaughtholdofmyhandwarmly.What’smore,shewasverycheerful.‘Hey!Iamreallyexcited.It’snicetomeetoldfriends.Whatareyoudoing
here?’IexplainedthatIwasinBombayonofficialwork.‘Thenstaywithmetonight,’shesaid.‘Let’schat.Doyouknowthatoldwine,
oldfriendsandmemoriesarepreciousandrare?’Icouldn’tbelieveit.WasthisreallyMeena?Ipinchedmyselfhardtobesure
itwasn’tadream.ButMeenawasreallystandingthere,rightinfrontofme,squeezingmyhand,smiling,andyes,shedidlookhappy.InthethreeyearsshehadbeeninBangalore,Ihadneveronceseenhersmilinglikethat.Afewstrandsofgreyinherhairremindedmethatyearshadpassed.Therewereafewwrinklesonherface,butthetruthwasthatshelookedmoreattractivethaneverbefore.Finally,Imanagedtosay,‘No,Meena,Ican’tstaywithyoutonight.Ihaveto
attendadinner.GivemeyourcardandI’llkeepintouchwithyou.Ipromise.’Foramoment,Meenalookeddisappointed.‘Let’sgoandhaveteaatleast,’
sheinsisted.‘ButMeena,it’spouring.’‘Sowhat?We’llbuyanumbrellaandthengototheGrandHotel,’shesaid.‘Wewon’tgetataxiinthisrain,’Igrumbled.‘Sowhat?We’llwalk.’Iwasverysurprised.Thiswasn’tthesameMeenaIhadknown.Today,she
seemedreadytomakeanynumberofadjustments.WereachedtheGrandHoteldrenched.Bythentheonlythoughtinmymind
wastofindoutwhoorwhathadbroughtaboutsuchachangeinthepessimisticMeenaIhadknown.Iwasquitecurious.‘Tellme,Meena,isthereaPrinceCharmingwhohasmanagedtochangeyou
so?’
Meenawassurprisedbymyquestion.‘No,thereisn’tanyonelikethat,’shesaid.‘Thenwhat’sthesecretofyourenergy?’Iasked,likeTendulkardoesinthe
ad.Shesmiled.‘Abeggarchangedmylife.’Iwasabsolutelydumbfoundedandshecouldseeit.‘Yes,abeggar,’sherepeated,asiftoreassureme.‘Hewasoldandusedto
stayinfrontofmyhousewithhisfive-year-oldgranddaughter.Asyouknow,Iwasachronicpessimist.Iusedtogivemyleftoverstothisbeggareveryday.Ineverspoketohim.Nordidhespeaktome.Onemonsoonday,Ilookedoutofmybedroomwindowandstartedcursingtherain.Idon’tknowwhyIdidthatbecauseIwasn’tevengettingwet.ThatdayIcouldn’tgivethebeggarandhisgranddaughtertheirdailyquotaofleftovers.Theywenthungry,Iamsure.‘However,whatIsawfrommywindowsurprisedme.Thebeggarandthe
younggirlwereplayingontheroadbecausetherewasnotraffic.Theywerelaughing,clappingandscreamingjoyously,asiftheywereinparadise.Hungerandraindidnotmatter.Theyweretotallydrenchedandtotallyhappy.Ienviedtheirzestforlife.‘Thatsceneforcedmetolookatmyownlife.IrealizedIhadsomany
comforts,noneofwhichtheyhad.Buttheyhadthemostimportantofallassets,onewhichIlacked.Theyknewhowtobehappywithlifeasitwas.Ifeltashamedofmyself.IevenstartedtomakealistofwhatIhadandwhatIdidnothave.IfoundIhadmoretobegratefulforthanmostpeoplecouldimagine.Thatday,Idecidedtochangemyattitudetowardslife,usingthebeggarasmyrolemodel.’Afteralongpause,IaskedMeenahowlongithadtakenhertochange.‘Oncethisrealizationdawned,’shesaid,‘ittookmealmosttwoyearstoput
thechangeintoeffect.Nownothingmatters.Iamalwayshappy.Ifindhappinessineverysmallthing,ineverysituationandineveryperson.’‘Didyougiveanygurudakshinatoyourguru?’Iasked.‘No.Unfortunately,bythetimeIunderstoodthings,hewasdead.ButI
sponsoredhisgranddaughtertoaboardingschoolasamarkofrespecttohim.’
16
MayYouBetheMotherofaHundredChildren
Iwasonmywaytotherailwaystation.Ihadthenineo’clockBangalore–HubliKitturExpresstocatch.Halfwaytothestationourcarstopped.Therewasahugetrafficjam.Therewasnowaywecouldeithermoveforwardorreversethecar.Isatandwatchedhelplesslyasafewtwo-wheelersscrapedpastthecarthroughanarrowgap.FinallyIaskedmydriverwhatthematterwas.Trafficjamsarenotuncommonbutthiswassomethingunusual.Hegotoutofthecarandsaidtheroadaheadwasblockedbysomepeopleholdingacommunalharmonymeet.Inowrealizeditwasperhapsimpossibletogettothestation.Thepapershadreportedaboutthemeetingandhadwarnedthattheroadswouldbeblockedforsometime.ThecarwasmovedintoabylaneandseeingtherewasnowayIcouldtryandmakemywaybackhome,Idecidedtojointhecrowdandlistentothespeeches.Fromadistance,Icouldseethedais.Therewerevariousreligiousheads
sittingonarowofchairsonthestage.Anelderlygentlemanstoodnexttomeandcommentedloudly,‘Allthisisjustadrama.InIndia,everythingisdecidedonthebasisofcasteandcommunity.Evenourelectionsaredictatedbythem.Whoevercomestopowerthinksonlyofthebettermentofhiscommunity.Itiseasytogivespeechesbutinpracticallifetheyforgeteverything.’Justthenamiddle-agedladystartedspeakingintothemike.Fromthewayshe
wasspeaking,soconfidently,itwasapparentthatshewasusedtogiving
speechesandhadthegiftofthegab.Heranalogieswerequiteconvincing.‘Whenyoueatameal,doyoueatonlychapattisorrice?No,youalsoneedavegetable,adalandsomecurd.Thetastesofthedishesvary,butonlywhentheyareputtogetherdoyougetawholesomemeal.Similarlydifferentcommunitiesneedtolivetogetherinharmonyandbuildastrongcountry...’etc.‘Itisanicespeechbutwhofollowsallthisinreallife?’thegentlemannextto
mecommented.‘Whydoyousaythat?’Ihadtoaskfinally.Helookedatme,surprisedatmyunexpectedquestion,thenanswered,
‘Becausemyfamilyhassufferedalot.Mysondidnotgetajobashewasnotfromtherightcommunity,mydaughterwastransferredasherbosswantedtoreplaceherwithsomeonefromhisowncommunity.Itiseverywhere.Whereveryougo,thefirstthingpeoplewanttoknowiswhichcasteorreligionyoubelongto.’Thewomanwasstilltalkingonthepodium.‘Whatishername?’Iasked.‘SheisAmbabhavani,agiftedspeakerfromTamilNadu.’HernamerangabellsomewhereinmymindandsuddenlyIwastransported
awayfromthejostlingcrowdsandtheloudspeeches.Iwasinatimelongpast,withmypaternalgrandmother,AmbaBai.AmbaBaiwasaffectionatelycalledAmbakkaorAmbakkaAaibyeveryonein
thevillage.Shespentherwholelifeinonelittlevillage,Savalagi,nearBijapurinnorthKarnataka.Likemostotherwomenofhergenerationshehadneversteppedintoaschool.Shewasmarriedearlyandspentherlifefulfillingtheresponsibilitiesoflookingafteralargefamily.ShewaswidowedearlyandIalwaysrememberseeingherwithashavenhead,wearingaredsari,thepallucoveringherheadalways,aswasthetraditioninthethenorthodoxBrahminsociety.Shelivedtillshewaseighty-nineandinherwholelifesheknewonlytheworldsofhertenchildren,fortygrandchildren,hervillageandthefields.Sincewewerefarmerssheownedlargemud-houseswithcows,horsesand
buffaloes.Therewasalargegranaryandbigtreesthatcooledthehouseduringthehotsummers.Therewererowsofcactiplantedjustoutsidethehouse.Theykeptoutthemosquitoes,weweretold.Ajji(that’swhatwecalledAmbaBai)lookedafterthefieldsandthefarmerswithapassion.Infact,Idon’trecallhereverspendingtoomuchtimeinthekitchenmakingpicklesorsweetslikeother
grandmothers.Shewouldbeupearlyandafterherbathspendsometimedoingherdailypuja.Shewouldmakesomejowarchapattisandavegetable,andthenheadouttothefields.Shewouldspendtimetheretalkingtothefarmersabouttheseedstheyhadgot,thestateofthewellorthehealthoftheircattle.Herotherpassioninlifewastohelpthewomenofthevillagedelivertheirbabies.ThoughIdidnotrealizethistillIwasateenager,Ajjiwasmostunlikean
orthodoxBrahminwidow.Shewasverymuchforwomen’seducation,familyplanningandhadmuchtosayaboutthewaysocietytreatedwidows.Thosedaystherewerefewfacilitiesavailabletothevillages.Therewerea
handfulofmedicalcollegesandnoteverytalukhadagovernmenthospital.Inthisscenariowomenwhohadbornechildrenweretheonlyhelptoothersduringchildbirth.Mygrandmotherwasoneofthem.Shewasveryproudofthefactthatshehaddeliveredtenperfectlyhealthychildren,allofwhomsurvived.Andinturn,shewouldhelpothersduringtheirdelivery,irrespectiveofcasteorcommunity.Shealwayshadawordofadviceorahandytipforthepregnantwomenofthevillage.Iwouldoftenhearsuchnuggetsofwisdomfromher.‘Savitri,becareful.Don’tliftheavyarticles.Eatwellanddrinkmoremilk.’‘Peerambi,youhavehadtwomiscarriages.Becarefulthistime.Eatlotsof
vegetablesandfruits.Youshouldbecarefulbutdon’tsitidle.Pregnancyisnotadisease.Youshouldbeactive.Dosomelightwork.SendyourhusbandHussaintomyhouse.Iwillgivesomesambarpowder.Mydaughter-in-lawpreparesitverywell.’Ofcourse,noteveryoneappreciatedheradvisingthem.Onesuchpersonwas
ShakuntalaDesai,whohadstayedinthecityforsometimeandhadgonetoschool.‘WhatdoesAmbakkaknowaboutthesethings?’shewouldcommentloudly.‘Hassheevergonetoschoolorreadamedicalbook?Sheisnotadoctor.’ButAjjiwouldbeleastbotheredbythesecomments.Shewouldonlylaugh
andsay,‘LetthatShakuntalagetpregnant.Iwilldeliverthebaby.Myfourdecadesofexperienceisbetterthananybook!’Myfather’sjobtookustovarioustownstolivein,butwealwayscameto
Ajji’svillageduringtheholidays.Theywerejoyousdaysandwewouldenjoyourselvesthoroughly.
Once,whenwewereatthevillage,therewasaweddingintheneighbouringvillage.Ajjialwaysrefusedtoattendthesesocialgatherings.Thattime,ItoodecidedtostaybackwithherandonenighttherewasonlyAjji,meandourhelperDyamappainthatlargehouse.Itwasanunusuallycold,moonlesswinternightinDecember.Itwaspitch
darkoutside.AjjiandIweresleepingtogether.Dyamappahadspreadhisbedonthefrontverandaandwasfastasleep.Forthefirsttimethatnight,IsawAjjiremoveherpallufromherheadandthewispsofgreyhaironherhead.Shetouchedthemandsaid,‘Societyhassuchcruelcustoms.WouldyoubelievethatIoncehadthicklongplaitshangingdownmyback?HowIlovedmyhairandwhatasourceofenvyitwasfortheothergirls!Butthedayyourgrandfatherdied,nooneevenaskedmypermissionbeforechoppingoffthatbeautifulhair.Icriedasmuchformyhairasformyhusband.Nooneunderstoodmygrief.Tellme,ifawifedies,doesthewidowerkeephisheadshavedfortherestofhislife?No,withinnotimeheisreadytobeagroomagainandbringhomeanotherbride!’Atthatage,Icouldnotunderstandherpain,butnow,whenIrecallherwords,
Irealizehowhelplessshemusthavefelt.Aftersometimeshechangedhertopic.‘OurPeerambiisdueanytime.Ithink
itwillbetonight.Itisamoonlessnightafterall.Peerambiisgoodandpious,butsheissoshy,Iamsureshewillnotsayanythingtoanyonetillthepainbecomesunbearable.IhavebeenprayingforhersafedeliverytoourfamilydeityKallolliVenkateshaandalsoatthePeerSaabDargainBijapur.Everyonewantssons,butIdohopethereisagirlthistime.Daughterscareforparentswherevertheyare.Anywomancandoaman’sjobbutamancannotdoawoman’sjob.AfteryourAjja’sdeath,amInotlookingaftertheentirefarming?Akkavva,alwaysrememberwomenhavemorepatienceandcommonsense.Ifonlymenrealizedthat...’Ajjihadsomanygrandchildrenshefoundithardtorememberalltheirnames.
Soshewouldcallallhergranddaughters‘Akkavva’andgrandsons‘Bala’.AsAjjirambledonintothenight,therewasaknockonthedoor.Instinctively
Ajjisaid,‘ThatmustbeHussain.’Andindeeditwas.Ajjicoveredherheadagainandforgettinghergriefsaboutwidowhood,sheaskedquickly,‘IsPeerambiinlabour?’
‘Yes,shehashadthepainssincethisevening.’‘Andyouaretellingmenow?Youdon’tunderstandhowprecioustimeis
whenawomanisinlabour.Letusgonow.Don’twasteanymoretime.’ShestartedgivinginstructionstoHussainandDyamappasimultaneously.‘Hussain,cutthecactus,takeafewsprigsofneem.Dyamappa,youlighttwo
biglanterns...‘Akkavva,youstayathome.Dyamappawillbewithyou.Ihavetohurry
now.’Shewasgatheringsomethingsfromherroomandputtingthemintoher
woodencarry-box.Bythattime,thehugeDyamappa,withhislargewhiteturbanonhisheadandmassivemoustachesappearedatthedoorbearingtwolanterns.InthepitchdarknesshemadeaterrifyingpictureandimmediatelybroughttomymindtheRavanaintheRamayanaplayIhadseenrecently.TherewasnowayIwasgoingtostayaloneinthehousewithhim!IinsistedIwantedtogowithAjji.Ajjiwasimpatient.‘Akkavva,don’tbeadamant.Afterall,youareateenage
girlnow.Youshouldnotseethesethings.IwillleaveyouatyourfriendGirija’shouse.’Butlikeanyotherteenager,Iwasadamantandwouldnotbudgefrommydecision.FinallyAjjigaveup.Shewenttothepujaroom,saidaquickprayerand
lockedthehousebehindher.ThefourofussetoffinpitchdarknesstoHussain’shouse.Hussainleadthewaywithalantern,Ajji,withmeclutchingontoherhand,followed,andDyamappabroughtuptherear,carryingtheotherlantern.Wemadeourwayacrossthevillage.AjjiwalkedwitheasewhileIstumbled
besideher.ItwascoldandIdidnotknowtheway.AllthetimeAjjikeptupaconstantstreamofinstructionsforHussainandDyamappa.‘Hussain,whenwereach,fillthelargedrumswithwater.Dyamappawillhelp
you.Boilsomewater.Burnsomecoal.Putallthechickensandlambsintheshed.Seethattheydon’tcomewanderingaround...’FinallywereachedHussain’shouse.Peerambi’scriesofpaincouldbeheard
comingfrominside.HussainandPeerambilivedalone.Theywerepoorfarmlabourerswho
workedondailywages.TheirneighbourMehboobBiwasthere,attendingtoPeerambi.
SeeingAjji,shelookedrelieved.‘Nowthereisnothingtoworry.AmbakkaAaihascome.’Ajjiwashedherfeetandhandsandwentinsidetheroomwithher
paraphernalia,slammingthedoorsandwindowsshutbehindher.Outsideonthewoodenbench,HussainandDyamappasatawaitingfurtherinstructionsfromAjji.Iwascurioustofindoutwhatwouldhappennext.Inside,IcouldhearAjjispeakingaffectionatelytoPeerambi.‘Don’tworry.
Deliveryisnotanimpossiblething.Ihavegivenbirthtotenchildren.JustcooperateandIwillhelpyou.PraytoGodtogiveyoustrength.Don’tlosecourage...’Inbetween,sheopenedthewindowpartlyandtoldHussain,‘Iwantsometurmericpowder.Ican’tsearchinyourhouse.GetitfromMehboobBi’shouse.Dyamappa,givemeonemorebigbowlofboilingwater.Hussain,takeanewcanetray,cleanitwithturmericwaterandpassitinside.Dyamappa,Iwantsomemoreburningcoal...’Thepious,gentleAjjiwasadictatornow!ThenextfewhourswerepunctuatedbyPeerambi’sanguishedcriesandAjji’s
patient,consolingwords,whileHussainsatoutsidetenseandDyamappanonchalantlysmokedabidi.Thenightgotdarkandthenitstartedgettinglighterandlighter.Thecock,lockedinitscoop,crowedandwiththerisingsunweheardthesoundsofababy’scrying.Ajjiopenedonewindowpaneandannounced,‘Hussain,youareblessedwitha
son.Helooksjustlikeyourfather,MohammedSaab.PeerambihadatoughtimebutGodiskind.Motherandchildarebothsafeandhealthy.’S-l-a-a-m...thedoorshutagain.Butthistimeoutsidewegrinnedateach
otherinjoy.Hussainkneltdownandsaidaprayerofthanks.Thenhejumpedupandknockedonthedoor,wantingtoseethebaby.Itremainedshut.Ajjiwasnotentertaininganyvisitorstillshewasdone.‘Yourclothesaredirty,’sheshoutedfrominside.‘Firsthaveabath,wearclean
clothesandthencomein,otherwiseyouwillinfectthebabyandmother.’Hussainrushedtothebathroom,whichwasjustathatchedpartitionand
pouredbucketsofcleanwaterfromthewellontohimself.Evenafterherushedin,IcouldhearonlyAjji’svoice.‘Peerambi,myworkis
over.Ihavetorushhome.Todayismyhusband’sdeathceremony.Thereare
manyritualstobecompleted.ThepriestswillarriveanytimeandIhavetohelpthem.Iwillleavenowandifyouwantanything,sendwordthroughHussain.‘Peerambi,toawoman,deliveringababyislikegoingtothedeathbedand
wakingupagain.Becareful.MehboobBi,pleasekeepPeerambi’sroomclean.Don’tputanynewclothesonthebaby.Theywillhurthim.Wraphiminanoldcleandhoti.Don’tkissthebabyonhislips.Don’tshowthebabytoeverybody.Don’tkeeptouchinghim.Boilthedrinkingwaterandimmerseanironladleinthat.Peerambishoulddrinkonlythatwater.Iwillsendapotofhome-madegheeandsoftriceandrasamforPeerambitoeat...NowIhavetogo.Bheemappaissupposedtocomeandcleanthegardentoday.IfIamlate,hewillrunaway...’Bynowshehadallowedthewindowtobeopened.Ipeepedinandsawthe
tiredbutjoyousfaceofPeerambiandatiny,chubbyversionofMohammedSaab,Hussain’sfather,asleeponthecanetray.Theneemleaveswerehanging,thecactuswaskeptinacornerandthefragranceofthelobanahadfilledtheentireroom.Ajjialsolookedtiredandtherewassweatonherforehead.Butshewascleaningheraccessoriesvigorouslyinthehotwaterandwipingthembeforeplacingthemcarefullybackinherwoodenbox.Justaswewereabouttoleave,HussainbentdownandtouchedAjji’sfeet.In
achokedvoicehesaid,‘AmbakkaAai,Idonotknowhowtothankyou.Wearepoorandcannotgiveyouanything.ButIcanthankyousincerelyfromthebottomofmyheart.Youareamotherofahundredchildren.Youhaveblessedmysonbybringinghimintothisworld.Hewillneverstrayfromthecorrectpath.’Ajjitouchedhimonhisshoulderandpulledhimup.Thereweretearsinher
eyestoo.Shewipedthemandsaid,‘Hussain,Godonlywantsustohelpeachotherindifficulttimes.PeerambiisafteralllikeanotherAkkavvatome.’BynowthesunwasupandIfollowedAjjibackhomewithoutstumbling.
Dyamappawasstrollinglazilyfarbehindus.OnedoubtwasworryingmeandIhadtoclearit.‘Ajji,youhavegivenbirthonlytotenchildren.WhydidHussainsayyouareamotherofhundred?’Ajjismiledandadjustingthepalluthatwasslippingoffherheadbecauseof
herbriskwalk,shesaid,‘Yes.Ihavegivenbirthonlytotenchildrenbutthesehandshavebroughtoutahundredchildreninourvillage.Akkavva,Iwillpray
thatyoubecomethemotherofahundredchildren,irrespectiveofthenumberyouyourselfgivebirthto.’
17
FoodforThought
Rekhaisaverydearfriendandourfamilieshaveknowneachotherforgenerations.SinceIhadn’tseenherforalongtime,Idecidedtovisither.Ipickedupthephoneanddialledhernumber.Herfather,Rao,whoislikeafathertome,pickedupthephone.‘Hello?’WeexchangedgreetingsandIsaid,‘Uncle,Iamcomingtoyourhousefor
lunchtomorrow.’Herfather,abotanist,wasveryhappy.‘Pleasedo.TomorrowisaSundayand
wecanrelaxalittlebit.Don’trunoffquickly!’hereplied.InacitysuchasBengaluru,goingfromJayanagartoMalleswaramona
weekdayusuallytakesaminimumoftwohours.TravellingonaSundayismucheasierbecauseittakesonlyhalfthetime.WhenIreachedherhomethenextday,Icouldsmellthatlunchwasalmostready,andyetthearomaswaftinginfromthekitchenindicatedtomethattheday’smenuwouldsomehowbedifferent.NoneofthetypicalKarnatakadisheswerelaidoutonthetable,andthecuisinewas,infact,quiteblandformytaste.‘ImaywearasimplesaributIamafoodie,Rekha!Isthelunchspecially
arrangedsothatIdon’tcomeagain?’Ijoked,asonecanwithanoldfriendwhowillnotmisunderstandandtakeoffence.Rekha’sfatherlaughedheartily.‘Well.’Hesighed.‘Todayismymother’s
shraddhaordeathanniversary.Onthisday,wealwaysprepareamealfrom
indigenousvegetables.’‘Whatdoyoumeanbyindigenous?’Iwasperplexed.‘Aren’tallthe
vegetablesavailableinourcountryindigenous,exceptperhapsoneslikecauliflower,cabbageandpotato?’‘OhmyGod!Youhavejustbroughtupthewrongtopiconthewrongdaywith
thewrongperson!’exclaimedRekhainmockdismay.‘Afterlunch,IthinkIshouldjustleaveyouwithmyfatherandjoinyoubothlaterintheevening.Thiswilltakeatleastfourhoursofyourtime.’IknewthatRekha’sfatherwasabotanist,butitwasthenthatIrealizedthat
hewaspassionateaboutthissubject.ThoughIhadknownhimforareallylongtime,Ihadneverseenthisfacetofhispersonalitybefore.Probably,hehadbeentoobusyduringhisworkingyearswhilewehadbeentoobusyplayingandfoolingaround.‘Isthisreallytrue,Uncle?’Iasked.Henodded.SinceIcomefromafarmer’sfamilyonmypaternalside,Ihavealwayshada
fascinationforvegetables.Iknewvaguelyaboutthethingswecouldgrow,theseasonstogrowtheminandtheonesthatwecouldnotgrow,includingthereasonswhy.However,wheneverIbroachedthesubjectwithfriendsinterestedinagricultureandfarming,Ineverreallyreceivedaproperanswer.Finally,herewasamanmorethanwillingtosharehisknowledgewithme!Icouldn’tresist.‘Youknow,Rekha,’Isaid,‘itisdifficulttogetknowledgeablepeopletospend
timeexplainingtheirsubjectmattertoothers.Today,Googleislikemygrandmother.IlogontothewebsiteanytimeIrequireanexplanationofsomethingIdon’tunderstandorwanttolearnabout.’‘Rightnow,youareloggingontoanencyclopedia,’Rekhasmiledand
glancedatherfatheraffectionately.Theconversationdriftedtoothersubjectsasweatelunch.Themeal
constitutedofrice,sambarwithoutchillies,dalwithblackpepperandnotchillies,gorikayi(clusterbeans),methisaag,cucumberraitaandricepayasam.Itwasaccompaniedbyudinvadawithblackpepper.Therewaspickleandsomeplainyogurtonthesidetoo.Afterwehadeatenthislunch,well-suitedforsomeonerecoveringinahospital,Rekha’sfathersaid,‘Come,let’sgotothegarden.’
Rekha’sfamilyownedanoldhouseonthecornerofastreet.HergrandfatherhadbeenintheBritishrailwaysandwasluckyenoughtobuythecornerplotatalowpriceandhadbuiltasmallhomewithalargegardenthere.InacitylikeBengaluru,filledwithapartmentsandsmallspaces,thegardenwassomethingofaprivilegeandaluxury.UncleandIwalkedtothegardenwhileRekhatookanap.Hesettledhimself
onabench,whileIlookedaround.Itwasaminiatureforestwithalargekitchengardenofcarrots,okra,fenugreekandspinach—eachsegregatedneatlyintosections.Afewsugar-canestalksshonebrightlyinfrontofuswhileadwarfpapayatreeheavywithfruitstoodinacorner.Ontheotherendwasalineofmaizeaswellasfloweringtreessuchastheparijata(theIndiancoraltree),androsesofvaryingcolours.‘UncleandAuntymustbespendingalotoftimeheremakingthisplace
beautiful,’Ithought.‘Allthetreesandplantsseemhealthy—almostasiftheyarehappytobehere!’‘DoyouthinkthatallthevegetableswehavearoundusarefromIndia?Orare
theyfromothercountries?’heaskedoutoftheblue.IfeltasifIwasbackinschoolinfrontofmyteacher.ButIwasn’tscared.
EvenifIgavehimawronganswer,itwasn’tgoingtoaffectmyprogressreport.‘Ofcourse,Uncle!Indiahasthelargestpopulationofvegetarians.So,intime,wehavelearnttomakedifferentkindsofvegetariandishes.Evenpeoplewhoeatmeatavoiditduringtraditionaleventssuchasfestivals,weddings,deathanniversariesandthemonthofShravana.’‘Iagreewithyourassessmentofeverything,exceptthatmostvegetablesare
growninIndia.Thetruthisthatthemajorityofourvegetablesarenotoursatall.Theyhavecomefromdifferentcountries.’Istaredathimindisbelief.Hepointedtoatomatoplant—acreeperwithmultiplefruits,tiedtoafirm
bamboostick.‘Lookatthis!IsthisanIndianvegetable?’Ithoughtoftomatosoup,tomatorasam,tomatobhat(tomato-flavouredrice),
sandwichesandchutney.‘Ofcourseitis.Weuseiteverysingleday.ItisanintegralpartofIndiancuisine.’Unclesmiled.‘Well,thetomatodidnotoriginateinIndia,butinMexico.It
madeitswaytoEuropein1554.Sincenobodyatetomatoesoverthereatthe
time,theybecameornamentalplantsbecauseofthebeautifuldeep-redcolour.Atsomepoint,therewasabeliefinEuropethatitwasgoodforcuringinfertility,whilesomethoughtthatitwaspoisonous.Thecontradictingperspectivesmadeitdifficultforthisfruittobeincorporatedintothelocaldietforalongtime.ItslackofvaluemusthavebeenarealpushforinitiatingSpain’stomatofestival,wheremillionsoftomatoesareusedeveryyeartothisday.Astorygoesthatonebusiness-savvyEuropeansurroundedhistomatoplantswithasturdy,thickfencetoshowhisneighboursthatthefruitswerenotpoisonous,butrathervaluableandthusdesirable.Gradually,thefruitsreachedIndiaandbegantobeusedasacommercialcrop,thankstoitstemptingcolourandtaste.ItmusthavecometousduringthereignoftheBritish.Buttoday,wecannotthinkofcookingwithouttomatoes.’‘Wow!’Ithought.Outloud,Isaid,‘Uncle,tellmeaboutanessentialitemthat
isusedinourcookingbutisn’tours.’‘Comeon,tryandguess.Wesimplycannotcookwithoutthisparticular
vegetable.’Iclosedmyeyesandthoughtofsambar,thatessentialsouthIndiandish,and
themutter-paneertypicalofthenorthIndiancuisine.Ittookmeawhiletothinkofacommoningredient—thechilli.Ibrushedmythoughtaway.‘No,there’snowaythatthechillicanbeanimportedvegetable.TherecanbenoIndianfoodwithoutit,’Ithought.Unclelookedatme.‘Youareright.Itisthechilli!’heexclaimedalmostasif
hehadreadmymind.‘Howdidyouknow?’‘Becausepeopleneverfailtobeshockedwhentheythinkofthepossibility
thatchillicouldbefromanothercountry.Icanseeitclearlyontheirfaceswhenthewheelsturninsidetheirhead.’Mydisbeliefwasobvious.Howcouldwecookwithoutchillies?Itisas
importantassaltinIndiancooking.‘Therearemanystoriesandmultipletheoriesaboutchillies,’Unclesaid.
‘WhenVascodaGamacametoIndia,hecamefromPortugalviaBrazilandbroughtmanyseedswithhim.Later,MarcoPoloandtheBritishcametoIndia.Thus,manymoreplantseedsarrived.Thetruthisthatwhatwecall“indigenous”isn’treallyours.Thinkofchillies,capsicum,corn,groundnut,cashews,beans,
potato,papaya,pineapple,custardapple,guavaandsapodilla—theyareallfromSouthAmerica.Overtime,weindigenizedthemandlearnthowtocookthem.Somesaythatthechillicamefromthecountryofthesamename,whilesomeotherssayitcamefromMexico.Accordingtoatheory,blackpepperwastheingredienttraditionallyusedinIndiatomakeourfoodhotandspicy.SomescholarsbelievethatthesolegoaloftheEastIndiaCompanywastoacquireamonopolyoverIndia’speppertrade,whichlaterendedinIndia’scolonization.Butwhenwebeganusingchillies,wefoundthatittastedbetterthanblackpepper.Togiveyouanexample,werefertoblackpepperaskalumenasuinKannada.Wegaveasimilarnametothechilliandcalleditmenasinkai.InHindi,itisfrequentlyreferredtoasmirchi.Inthewarbetweenblackpepperandchilli,theformerlostandchilliestablisheditselfasthenewprinceandcontinuestoruletheIndianfoodindustryeventoday.NorthKarnatakaisfamousforitsredchilliesnow.’‘ThatmuchIdoknow,Uncle!’Iclosedmyeyesandhadavisionofmy
youngerdays.‘Irememberseeingacresandacresofred-chilliplantsduringmychildhood.TheharvestusedtotakeplaceduringtheDiwaliseason.IrememberthatBadgidistrictwasdedicatedtothesaleofchillies.Ihadgonewithmyuncleonedayandwasamazedbythemountainsofred-chilliesIsawthere.’‘Ohyes,youareright!Thoseredchilliesarebrightredincolourbutthey
aren’treallyhotorspicy.Onthecontrary,chilliesthatgrowinthestateofAndhraPradeshintheareaofGunturareextremelyspicy.Theyarealittleroundedinshape,notasdeepredincolourandarecalledGunturchillies.Agoodcookusesacombinationofdifferentkindsofchilliestomakethedishdeliciousandattractive.Nowthat’swhatIcallindigenous.’‘Therewerealsotwootherkindsofchilliesinourfarm—onewasachilli
calledGandharorRavanachillithatgrowsupsidedownandtheotherone,ofcourse,wascapsicum.’Unclenodded.‘CapsicuminIndiaisnothingbutgreenorredbellpepperin
theWest.ButifyoueatonetinyRavanachilli,youwillhavetositinthebathroomwithyourbacksideinpainanddrinkmanybottlesofwaterforalong,longtime!Oryouwillhavetoeatfivehundredgramsofcandies,sweetsorchocolates.’Webothlaughed.
Hearingthelaughter,Rekha’smothercameandjoinedus.‘Areyoufolksjokingabouttoday’smenu?I’msorrythattherewasn’tmuchvariety.WhenIheardthatyouwerecomingforlunch,ItoldUncletoinformyouthattoday’sfoodwasgoingtobeblandandthatyoucouldcomeanotherSunday,buthesaidthatyouarelikefamilyandwouldn’tmindatall,’shesaidtome.Thatsparkedmyinterest.‘Tellmethereasonfortheblandfood,Aunty!’‘Wehaveamethodtothemadness,Iguess.Duringdeathanniversaries,wedo
notusevegetablesorspicesthathavecomefromothercountries.Hence,weuseingredientslikefenugreek,blackpepperandcucumber,amongothers.OurancestorswerescaredofusingnewvegetablesandnamedtheseimportsVishwamitrasrishti.’ThiswasthefirsttimethatIhadheardofsuchathing.‘Whatdoesthat
mean?’Auntysettledintoamakeshiftchairundertheguavatree.‘Thestorygoesthat
therewasakingcalledTrishankuwhowantedtogotoheavenalongwithhisphysicalbody.Withhisstrongpenanceandpowers,thesageVishwamitrawasabletosendhimtoheaven,butthegodspushedhimbackbecausetheywereworriedthatitwouldsetaprecedentforpeopletocomeinwiththeirphysicalbodies.Thatwasnottobeallowed.VishwamitratriedtopushTrishankuupwardsbutthegodspushedhimdown,likeagameoftugofwar.Intheend,VishwamitracreatedanewworldforTrishankuandcalleditTrishankuSwarga.Heevencreatedvegetablesthatbelongedneithertotheearthnorheaven.SovegetableslikeeggplantandcauliflowerarethecreationsofVishwamitra,whichmustnotbeusedatatimesuchasadearone’sdeathanniversary.’SilencefellbetweenusandIponderedoverAunty’sstory.Afterafew
minutes,IsawRekhacomingtowardsuswithsomebananasandorangesandaboxofwhatseemedtobedessert.‘Come,’shesaidtome,‘havesomething.Thebananaisfromourgardenand
thedessertismadefromhome-growningredientstoo!Youmustbe...’Uncleinterrupted,‘DoyouknowthatwemakesomanydessertsinIndiathat
aren’toriginaltoourcountry?’‘Appa,tellherthestoryoftheguavaandthebanana.Ireallylikethatone,’
Rekhasaid.Shesmiledasshehandedmeabanana.
Unclegrinned,pleasedtoimpartsomemoreknowledge.‘TheseedsofguavacamefromGoa,’hesaid.‘Sosomepeoplesaythat’showitwasnamed.InKannada,wecallitperalahannubecausewebelievethatitoriginatedinPeru,SouthAmerica.Letmetellyouastory.‘Durvasawasafamedshort-temperedsageinourancientepics.Hecursed
anyonewhodaredtorousehisanger.ThesagewasmarriedtoawomannamedKandali.Oneday,shesaidtohim,“Osage,peopleareterriblyafraidofyouwhileIhavelivedwithyouforsuchalongtime.Don’tyouthinkIdeserveagreatboonfromyou?”‘ThoughDurvasawasupsetatherwords,hedidnotcurseher.Hethought
seriouslyaboutwhatshehadsaidanddecidedthatshewasright.“Iwillgiveyouaboon.Butonlyone.Sothinkcarefully,”hesaid.‘Aftersomethought,shereplied,“Createafruitformethatisuniqueand
blessedwithbeautifulcolours.Thetreeshouldgrownotinheavenbutonearth.Itshouldhavetheabilitytogroweasilyeverywhereinourcountry.Itmustgivefruitsinbunchesandforthewholeyear.Thefruitmustnothaveanyseedsandmustnotcreateamesswhenweeatit.Whenitisnotripe,weshouldbeabletouseitasavegetableandonceitisripe,weshoulduseitwhileperformingpujas.Wemustbeabletouseallpartsofthetree.”‘Durvasawassurprisedandimpressedatthenumberofspecificationshiswife
wasgivinghim.Hewasusedtogivingcursesinangerandthenfiguringouttheirsolutionsoncehehadcalmeddown,butthisseeminglysimplerequestwasatestofhisintelligence.“Nowonderwomenarecleverer.Menlikemegetupsetquicklyandactbeforefullythinkingoftheconsequences,”hethought.‘ThesageprayedtoGoddessSaraswatitogivehimtheknowledgewithwhich
hecouldsatisfyhiswife’sdemand.Afterafewminutes,herealizedthathewouldbeabletofulfilhiswife’sdesire.Thushecreatedthebananatree,whichisfoundalloverIndiatoday.Everypartofthetree—theleaf,thebark,thestem,theflowersanditsfruitsareuseddaily.Rawbananacanbecookedwhiletheripebananacanbeeateneasilybypeelingoffitsskin.Itisalsoanessentialpartofworshiptothegods.Thefruitisseedlessandpresentsitselfasabunch.Amaturetreelivesforayearandsmallersaplingsarefoundaroundit.‘Kandaliwasecstaticandnamedtheplantkandari.Sheannounced,“Whoever
eatsthisfruitwillnotgetupset,despitethefactthatitwascreatedbymyshort-
temperedhusband.”‘Overaperiodoftime,peoplestartedusingthebananaextensivelyandloved
it.SlowlythenamekandarichangedtokadaliandthebananacametobeknownaskadaliphalainSanskrit.’Uncletookadeepbreathattheendofhisstory.Ismiled,amusedatthestorythatseemedtoresultfromfertileimagination.I
hadastrongurgetogrababananaandtookonefromtheplateinfrontofme.‘Youmayhavegivenmeblandfoodtoday,’Isaid,‘butIreallywantsomedessert.’Rekhaopenedthebox.Itwasfilledwithdifferentvarietiesofsweets.Isaw
gulabjamuns,jhangri(adeep-friedflour-baseddessert)andgulkand(arosepetal–basedpreserve).Ican’tresistgulabjamuns,soIimmediatelypickedoneupandpoppeditintomydroolingmouth.Itwassoftandsweet.‘Whatadessert!’Iremarked,amazedathowdeliciousitwas!‘NobodycanbeatusIndianswhenitcomestodesserts.Idon’tknowhowpeoplecanliveinothercountrieswithoutgulabjamuns.’‘Waitaminute,don’tmakesuchsweepingstatements,’saidRekha.‘Gulab
jamunisnotfromIndia.’‘Yeah,right,’Isaid,notconvincedatall.Beforeshecouldstopme,Igrabbed
anothergulabjamunandgulpeditdown.‘I’mserious.Alanguagescholaroncecametospeakinourcollege.Hetoldus
thatapartfromEnglish,weusemultiplePersian,ArabicandPortuguesewordsthatwearen’tevenawareof.GulabjamunisaPersianwordandisadishpreparedinIran.ItbecamepopularinIndiaduringtheMughalreignbecausethecourtlanguagewasPersian.Thesameistrueforjhangri,whichisakindofornamentwornonthewristandthejhangridesignresemblesit.’‘Youwillnowtellmethatevengulkandisfromsomewhereelse!’I
complainedloudly.Shegrinned.‘Youaren’twrong!GulkandisaPersianwordtoo—gulis
nothingbutroseandkandmeanssweet.Gul,infact,originatesfromthewordgulab,meaningrose.’Mybrainwasthoroughlyexhaustedwithallthisinformation.WhenIsawthe
oranges,Isaidwithpride,‘Iwillnotcallthisanorangenow,butitsKannadanamenarangi.’
Uncleclearedhisthroat.‘NarangiisanIndianwordbutitdoesnotoriginateinKarnataka.Itismadeupoftwowords—naar,whichmeansorangeorcolourofthesun,andrangi,meaningcolour.’Theconversationwasmakingmefeeltrulylost.‘Whenpeoplestayinoneplaceforsometime,’hecontinued,‘they
unknowinglyabsorbtheculturearoundthem,includingtheregionalfoodandlanguage.Attimes,weadoptthechangesintoourlocalcuisineandmakeitourown.That’sexactlywhathappenedwiththefoodswehavediscussed.’Iglancedatmywatch.Itwastimeformetoleave.Ithankedthemprofusely,
especiallyUncle,forenlighteningmeinawaythatevenGooglecouldnot.TherewasahugetrafficjamdespiteitbeingaSundayeveningasIsetoutfor
home,butIwasn’tboredontheway.Infact,IwashappytorecollectUncle’swordsandperhaps,asaresult,suddenlyrememberedanincident.Mymotherhadtwosisters.Thoughallthreesistersweremarriedtomenfrom
thesamestate,theirhusbands’jobswereindifferentareas—onelivedinsouthKarnatakaintheoldMysorestate,myparentslivedinMaharashtraandthethirdstayedintheflatlandsinaremotecornerofKarnataka.Aftertheirhusbandsretired,thethreesisterslivedinHubliinthesamearea.It
wasfuntomeetmycousinseverydayandeatmealstogether.Wecelebratedfestivalsasafamilyandthefoodwascookedinonehouse,thougheverybodybroughthome-cookeddessertsfromtheirownhouses.DuringoneparticularDiwali,wehadahostofdelicacies.Mymothermade
puriandshrikhand(apopulardishinMaharashtramadefromstrainedyogurtandsugar).MyauntfromMysoremadekishmishkheerandarice-basedmaincoursecalledbisibeleanna,whiletheotherauntmadegroundnut-basedsweetssuchasjaggery-basedstickychikkiandball-shapedladdus.Aschildren,mycousinsandIhadplentyoffuneatingthembutinthecar,I
realizedforthefirsttimethatallthesistershadabsorbedsomethingfromtheareathattheyhadlivedin.Despitetheirphysicalproximity,thefoodineachhouseholdwassodiverse.Icouldn’thelpbutwonderhowexcitingthefoodreallymustbeinthedifferentregionsofIndia.Ithoughtofpaneerpizzas,cheesedosasandtheIndian‘Chinese’food.They
musthaveoriginatedthesameway.WhoreallysaidthatIndiaisacountry?Itisacontinent—culturallyvibrant,diverseinfoodandyet,distinctlyIndianatheart.
18
BombaytoBangalore
Itwasthebeginningofsummer.IwasboardingtheUdyanExpressatGulbargarailwaystation.MydestinationwasBangalore.AsIboardedthetrain,Isawthatthesecond-classcompartmentwasjam-packedwithpeople.Thoughthecompartmentwasreserved,thereweremanyunauthorizedpeopleinit.ThissideofKarnatakaispopularlyknownasHyderabadKarnatakasincetheNizamofHyderabadonceruledthisarea.Thereisscarcityofwaterhere,whichmakesthelanddry,andthefarmerscannotgrowanythingduringsummer.Hence,manypoorfarmersandlandlesslabourersfromHyderabadKarnatakaimmigratetoBangaloreandotherbigcitiesduringthesummerforjobsinconstruction.Theyreturntotheirhomesintherainyseasontocultivatetheirlands.ThiswasApril,sothetraincompartmentwasparticularlycrowded.Isatdownandwaspushedtothecorneroftheberth.Thoughitwasmeantfor
threepeople,therewerealreadysixofussittingonit.IlookedaroundandsawstudentswhowereeagertocometoBangaloreandexploredifferentoptionstoenhancetheircareers.ThereweremerchantswhoweretalkingaboutwhatgoodstoorderfromBangalore.Somegovernmentofficers,though,werecriticizingGulbarga.‘Whataplace!Stayinghereisimpossiblebecauseoftheheat.Nowonderpeoplecallthisapunishmenttransfer!’Theticketcollectorcameinandstartedcheckingpeople’sticketsand
reservations.Itwasdifficulttoguesswhohadaticketandwhohada
reservation.Somepeoplehadticketsbutnoreservation.Thiswasanovernighttrainandpeopleneededsleeperberths,buttheywerelimitedinnumber.Peoplewhodidnothaveareservedberthwerebeggingtheticketcollectortoaccommodatethem‘somehow’.Itwasnexttoimpossibleforhimtolistentoeveryone.Withhiseagleeye,heeasilylocatedpeoplewhodidnothaveaticket.People
withoutticketswerepleading,‘Sir,theprevioustrainwascancelled.Wehadareservationonthattrain.Itisnotourfault.Wedon’twanttopayforthisticketagain.’Anotherpersonwasbegginghim:‘Sir,Iwaslatetothestationandtherewasabigqueue.Ididn’thavetimetobuyaticket.So,Igotintothiscompartment.’ThecollectormusthavereadtheBhagavadGitathoroughly;heremainedcalmwhilelisteningtotheirstoriesandkeptissuingnewticketsforticketlesspassengers.Suddenly,helookedinmydirectionandasked,‘Whataboutyourticket?’‘Ihavealreadyshownmytickettoyou,’Isaid.‘Notyou,madam,thegirlhidingbelowyourberth.Hey,comeout,whereis
yourticket?’Irealizedthatsomeonewassittingbelowmyberth.Whenthecollectoryelled
ather,thegirlcameoutofhiding.Shewasthin,dark,scaredandlookedlikeshehadbeencryingprofusely.Shemusthavebeenaboutthirteenorfourteenyearsold.Shehaduncombedhairandwasdressedinatornskirtandblouse.Shewastremblingandfoldedbothherhands.Thecollectoraskedagain,‘Whoareyou?Fromwhichstationdidyougeton?
Whereareyougoing?Icanissueafullticketforyouwithafine.’Thegirldidnotreply.Thecollectorwasgettingveryangrysincehehadbeen
dealingwithcountlessticketlesspassengers.Hetookouthisangeronthislittlegirl.‘Iknowallyourunaways,’heshouted.‘Youtakeafreerideintrainsandcausetremendousproblems.Youneitherreplytomyquestionsnorpayforyourticket.Ihavetoanswertomybosses...’Thegirlstilldidnotsayanything.Thepeoplearoundthegirlwerenot
botheredatallandwentabouttheirbusiness.SomewerecountingthemoneyfortheirticketandsomeweregettingreadytogetdownatWadiJunction,thenextstop.Peopleonthetopberthwerepreparingtosleepandotherswerebusywith
theirdinner.Thiswassomethingunusualforme,becauseIhadneverseensuchasituationinmyvastexperienceofsocialwork.Thegirlstoodquietlyasifshehadnotheardanything.Thecollectorcaught
holdofherarmsandtoldhertogetdownatthenextstation.‘Iwillhandyouovertothepolicemyself.Theywillputyouinanorphanage,’hesaid.‘Itisnotmyheadache.GetdownatWadi.’Thegirldidnotmove.Thecollectorstartedforciblypullingheroutfromthe
compartment.Suddenly,Ihadastrangefeeling.Istoodupandcalledouttothecollector.‘Sir,Iwillpayforherticket,’Isaid.‘Itisgettingdark.Idon’twantayounggirlontheplatformatthistime.’Thecollectorraisedhiseyebrowsandlookedatme.Hesmiledandsaid,
‘Madam,itisverykindofyoutooffertobuyheraticket.ButIhaveseenmanychildrenlikeher.Theygetinatonestation,thengetoffatthenextandboardanothertrain.Theybegortraveltotheirdestinationwithoutaticket.Thisisnotanexceptionalcase.Whydoyouwanttowasteyourmoney?Shewillnottravelevenwithaticket.Shemayleaveifyoujustgivehersomemoney.’Ilookedoutofthecompartment.ThetrainwasapproachingWadiJunction
andtheplatformlightswerebright.Vendorsoftea,juiceandfoodwererunningtowardsthetrain.Itwasdark.Myheartdidnotacceptthecollector’sadvice—andIalwayslistentomyheart.WhatthecollectorsaidmightbetruebutwhatwouldIlose—justafewhundredrupees?‘Sir,that’sfine.Iwillpayforherticketanyway,’Isaid.Iaskedthegirl,‘Willyoutellmewhereyouwanttogo?’Thegirllookedatmewithdisbelief.ItwasatthismomentthatInoticedher
beautiful,darkeyes,whichweregrief-stricken.Shedidnotsayaword.Thecollectorsmiledandsaid,‘Itoldyou,madam.Experienceisthebest
teacher.’Heturnedtothegirlandsaid,‘Getdown.’Thenhelookedatmeandsaid,‘Madam,ifyougivehertenrupees,shewill
bemuchhappierwiththatthanwiththeticket.’Ididnotlistentohim.Itoldthecollectortogivemeatickettothelast
destination,Bangalore,sothatthegirlcouldgetdownwherevershewanted.Thecollectorlookedatmeagainandsaid,‘Butshewon’tgetaberthandyou
willhavetopayapenalty.’
Iquietlyopenedmypurse.Thecollectorcontinued,‘Ifyouwanttopay,thenyoushouldpayforthe
ticketfromthetrain’sstartingpoint.’ThetrainoriginatedfromBombayVTandterminatedatBangalore.Ipaidup
quietly.Thecollectorissuedtheticketandleftindisdain.Thegirlwasleftstandinginthesameposition.Iaskedmyfellowpassengers
tomoveandgivethegirlsomespacetositdownbecauseshenowheldavalidticket.Theymovedveryreluctantly.Then,Iaskedthegirltositontheseat—butshedidnot.WhenIinsisted,shesatdownonthefloor.Ididnotknowwheretostarttheconversation.Iorderedamealforherand
whenthedinnerboxcame,shehelditinherhandsbutdidnoteat.Ifailedtopersuadehertoeatortalk.Finally,Igavethetickettoherandsaid,‘Look,Idon’tknowwhat’sonyourmindsinceyourefusetotalktome.So,here’stheticket.Youcangetdownwhereveryouwantto.’Asthenightprogressed,peoplestartedsleepingonthefloorandontheir
berths,butthegirlcontinuedtosit.WhenIwokeupatsixo’clockthenextmorning,shewasdozing.Thatmeant
thatshehadnotgotdownanywhere.HerdinnerboxwasemptyandIwashappythatshehadatleasteatensomething.AsthetrainapproachedBangalore,thecompartmentstartedgettingempty.
Again,Itoldhertositontheseatandthistimesheobliged.Slowly,shestartedtalking.ShetoldmethathernamewasChitra.ShelivedinavillagenearBidar.Herfatherwasacoolieandshehadlosthermotheratbirth.Herfatherhadremarriedandhadtwosonswithherstepmother.Butafewmonthsago,herfatherhaddied.Herstepmotherstartedbeatingheroftenanddidnotgiveherfood.Iknewfromhertorn,bloodstainedblouseandthemarksonherbodythatshewastellingthetruth.Shewastiredofthatlife.Shedidnothaveanybodytosupporthersoshelefthomeinsearchofsomethingbetter.Bythistime,thetrainhadreachedBangalore.IsaidgoodbyetoChitraandgot
downfromthetrain.Mydrivercameandpickedupmybags.Ifeltsomeonewatchingme.WhenIturnedback,Chitrawasstandingthereandlookingatmewithsadeyes.ButtherewasnothingmorethatIcoulddo.AsIstartedwalkingtowardsmycar,IrealizedthatChitrawasfollowingme.I
knewthatshedidnothaveanybodyinthewholeworld.Now,Iwasataloss.I
didnotknowwhattodowithher.IhadpaidherticketoutofcompassionbutIhadneverthoughtthatshewasgoingtobemyresponsibility!ButfromChitra’sperspective,Ihadbeenkindtoherandshewantedtoclingontome.WhenIgotintothecar,shestoodoutsidewatchingme.Iwasscaredforaminute.‘WhatamIdoing?’Iquestionedmyself.Iwas
worriedaboutthesafetyofagirlinWadiJunctionstation,butnowIwasleavingherinabigcitylikeBangalore—asituationworsethanthepreviousone.AnythingcouldhappentoChitrahere.Afterall,shewasagirl.Thereweremanywaysinwhichpeoplecouldexploithersituation.Itoldhertogetintomycar.Mydriverlookedatthegirlcuriously.Itoldhim
totakeustomyfriendRam’splace.Ramranseparateshelterhomesforboysandgirls.WeattheInfosysFoundationsupportedhimfinanciallyonaregularbasis.IthoughtChitracouldstaythereforsometimeandwecouldtalkaboutherfutureafterIcamebackfrommytoursinafewweeks.TherewereabouttengirlsintheshelterandthreeofthemwereofChitra’sage.Mostofthegirlstherealreadyknewme.AssoonasIreachedtheshelter,theladysupervisorcameouttotalktome.I
explainedthesituationandhandedChitraovertoher.ItoldChitra,‘Youcanstayherefortwoweeks.Don’tworry.Theseareverygoodpeople.Iwillcomeandseeyouaftertwoweeks.Don’trunawayfromhere,atleastuntilIcomeback.Talktoyourladysupervisor.YoucancallherAkka.’(AkkameanseldersisterintheKannadalanguage.)Ihandedoversomemoneytothesupervisorandtoldhertobuysomeclothesandothernecessarythingsforthegirl.Aftertwoweeks,Iwentbacktotheshelter.IwasnotsureifChitrawould
evenbethere.Buttomysurprise,IsawChitralookingmuchhappierthanbefore.Shewashavinggoodfoodforthefirsttimeinherlife.Shewaswearingnewclothesandwasteachinglessonstotheyoungerchildren.Assoonasshesawme,shestoodupeagerly.Thesupervisorsaid,‘Chitraisanicegirl.Shehelpsinourkitchen,cleanstheshelterandalsoteachestheyoungerchildren.Shetellsusthatshewasagoodstudentinhervillageandwantedtojoinhighschoolbutherfamilydidn’tallowhertodoso.Here,sheiscomfortableandwantstostudyfurther.Whatareyourplansforherfuture?Canwekeepherhere?’
Soon,Ramalsojoinedus.RamknewthewholestoryandsuggestedthatChitracouldgotoahighschoolnearby.IimmediatelyagreedandsaidthatIwouldsponsorherexpensesaslongasshecontinuedtostudy.IlefttheshelterknowingthatChitrahadfoundahomeandanewdirectioninherlife.Igotbusierwithmyworkandmyvisitstotheshelterreducedtoonceayear.
ButIalwaysinquiredaboutChitra’swell-beingoverthephone.Iknewthatshewasstudyingwellandthatherprogresswasgood.Yearswentby.Oneday,RamphonedmeandsaidthatChitrahadscored85
percentinhertenthclass.WhenIwenttothesheltertocongratulateandtalktoher,shewasveryhappy.Shewasgrowinguptobeaconfidentyoungwoman.Therewasbrightnessinherbeautiful,darkeyes.Iofferedtosponsorhercollegestudiesifshewantedtocontinuestudying.But
shesaid,‘No,Akka.Ihavetalkedtomyfriendsandmadeupmymind.IwouldliketodomydiplomaincomputersciencesothatIcanimmediatelygetajobafterthreeyears.’Itriedtopersuadehertogotocollegeforabachelor’sdegreeinengineeringbutshedidnotagree.Shewantedtobecomeeconomicallyindependentassoonaspossible.Somewhereinsideme,Iunderstoodwhereshewascomingfrom.Threerainyseasonspassed.Chitraobtainedherdiplomawithflyingcolours.
Shealsogotajobinasoftwarecompanyasanassistanttestingengineer.Whenshegotherfirstsalary,shecametomyofficewithasariandaboxofsweets.Iwastouchedbyhergesture.Later,Igottoknowthatshehadspentherentirefirstsalarybuyingsomethingforeveryoneattheshelter.Soonenough,Ramcalledmetodiscussanewproblem.‘Chitraisnowa
workinggirl.Soshecannotstayinthesheltersinceitisonlymeantforstudents.’ItoldRamthatIwouldtalktoChitraandaskhertopaytheshelterareasonableamountofmoneypermonthtowardsrent.Thiswayshecouldcontinuetostaythereuntilshegotmarried.Istronglyfeltthattheshelterwasasafeplaceforanunmarried,orphangirllikeChitra.Ramaskedme,‘Areyougoingtolookforaboyforher?’Thiswasanewandanevenbiggerproblem.Asherinformalguardian,Ihad
tofindaboyforChitraorsheherselfhadtofindalifepartner.Thiswasagreatresponsibility.NowonderpeoplesayIhaveapenchantforgettingintoproblems!ButGodalsoshowsmeuniquewaysofgettingoutofthem.Itold
Ram,‘Sheisonlytwenty-one.Letherworkforafewyears.Ifyoucomeacrossasuitableboy,pleaseletmeknow.’IcalledChitraandgavehermyopinionaboutherstayingattheshelter,and
shehappilyagreedtostayonandpayrent.Daysrolledby,andmonthsturnedintoyears.Oneday,whenIwasinDelhi,I
gotacallfromChitra.Shewasveryhappy.‘Akka,mycompanyissendingmetotheUS!IwantedtomeetyouandtakeyourblessingsbutyouarenothereinBangalore.’IwasecstaticforChitra.Isaid,‘Chitra,youarenowgoingtoadifferent
country.Takecareofyourselfandkeepintouch.Myblessingsarealwayswithyou.’Yearspassed.Occasionally,IreceivedanemailfromChitra.Shewasdoing
verywellinhercareer.ShewaspostedacrossseveralcitiesintheUSandwasenjoyinglife.Isilentlyprayedthatsheshouldalwaysbehappywherevershewas.Yearslater,IwasinvitedtodeliveralectureinSanFranciscoforKannada
Koota,anorganizationwherefamilieswhospeakKannadameetandorganizeevents.ThelecturewasinaconventionhallofahotelandIdecidedtostayatthesamehotel.Afterthelecture,Iwasplanningtoleavefortheairport.WhenIcheckedoutofthehotelroomandwenttothereceptioncountertopaythebill,thereceptionistsaid,‘Madam,youdon’tneedtopayusanything.Theladyovertherehasalreadysettledyourbill.Shemustknowyouprettywell.’IturnedaroundandfoundChitrathere.Shewasstandingwithayoungwhite
manandworeabeautifulsari.Shewaslookingveryprettywithshorthair.Herdarkeyeswerebeamingwithhappinessandpride.Assoonasshesawme,shegavemeabrilliantsmile,huggedmeandtouchedmyfeet.Iwasoverwhelmedwithjoyanddidnotknowwhattosay.‘Chitra,howareyou?Ihavenotseenyouforages.Whatasweetsurprise.
HowdidyouknowthatIwillbeinthiscitytoday?’‘Akka,Iliveinthiscityandcametoknowthatyouaregivingalectureatthe
localKannadaKoota.Iamalsoamemberthere.Iwantedtosurpriseyou.Itisnotdifficulttofindoutaboutyourschedule.’‘Chitra,Ihavesomanyquestionstoaskyou.Howiswork?Haveyouvisited
India?Andmoreimportantly,haveyoufoundMrRight?Andwhydidyoupay
myhotelbill?’‘No,Akka.Ihaven’tcometoIndiasinceIleft.IfIcometoIndia,howcanI
returnwithoutmeetingyou?Akka,Ihavesomethingtotellyou.Iknowthatyouwerealwaysworriedaboutmymarriage.Youneveraskedmeaboutmycommunity.Butyoualwayswantedmetosettledown.Iknowitishardforyoutochooseaboyforme.Now,IhavefoundmyMrRight.Pleasemeetmycolleague,John.Wearegettingmarriedattheendoftheyear.Youmustcomeforourweddingandblessus.’IwasveryhappytoseethewaythingshadturnedoutforChitra.ButIcame
backtomyoriginalquestion.‘Chitra,whydidyoupaymyhotelbill?Thatisnotright.’Withtearsinhereyesandgratitudeonherface,shesaid,‘Akka,ifyouhadn’t
helpedme,Idon’tknowwhereIwouldhavebeentoday—maybeabeggar,aprostitute,arunawaychild,aservantinsomeone’shouse...orImayevenhavecommittedsuicide.Youchangedmylife.Iamevergratefultoyou.’‘No,Chitra.Iamonlyonestepinyourladderofsuccess,’Isaid.‘Thereare
manystepswhichledyoutowhereyouaretoday—theshelterwhichlookedafteryou,theschoolswhichgaveyougoodeducation,thecompanywhichsentyoutoAmericaand,aboveall,itisyou—adeterminedandinspiredgirlwhomadeyourlifeyourself.Onestepshouldneverbegivenallthecreditfortheendresult.’‘Thatisyourthinking,Akka.Idifferwithyou,’shesaid.‘Chitra,youarestartinganewlifeandyoushouldsavemoneyforyournew
family.Whydidyoupaymyhotelbill?’ChitradidnotreplybuttoldJohntotouchmyfeet.Then,suddenlysobbing,
shehuggedmeandsaid,‘BecauseyoupaidformyticketfromBombaytoBangalore!’
19
MiserableSuccess
Vishnuwasayoung,brightandambitiousstudentfromthefirstbatchIevertaughtatcollege.Somyrelationshipwithhimwascloserthanthatwithmystudentsfromsubsequentbatches.Hewascharming,communicativeandclearinhisthinking.Incollege,weusedtohavelongargumentsondifferentissuesandweusedto
agreetodisagreeonmanymatters.Iusedtotellhim,‘Vishnu,Ihaveseenmanymoreseasonsthanyou.Withmyexperienceinlife,Iwanttotellyouthathavinggoodrelationships,compassionandpeaceofmindismuchmoreimportantthanachievements,awards,degreesormoney.’Vishnuwouldargueback:‘Madam,yourstomachisfullandyouhave
achievedeverything.Hence,youarecomfortableinlifeandcansaythat.Youhavereceivedmanyawards,soyoudon’tcareforthemandyouarenotambitious.Youwillneverunderstandpeoplelikeme.’Then,Iusuallyjustsmiledathim.Ilikedhimforhisopenness.Vishnuwasalsoverygoodatteaching.Hecompletedhisdegreeandgotan
excellentjobinMicrosoftinSeattle,USA.Hewasawaitinghisvisatogoabroad.Itoldhimtoteachatmycollegewhilehewaswaiting.WheneverIcouldnotattendthelaboratorysessions,Itoldhimtotakechargeofthejuniorlabandbemysubstitute.Hebecameverypopularwiththestudents.
IaskedVishnu,‘Youareverygoodatteaching.Whydon’tyouseriouslythinkofbecomingaprofessor?’Hesaid,‘MymonthlysalaryintheUSismorethanateacher’sannualsalary
here.WhywouldIwanttobecomeaprofessor?’‘Vishnu,don’tbesorude.Ateacherisnotrespectedforthesalarybutforhis
orherknowledgeandteaching.Ifyoudon’trespecttheteachingprofession,thatisfine,butdon’tmakesuchacomparison.’Soon,Vishnuleftthecountryonhisnewassignment.Manyyearspassedandadecaderolledby.Mystudents,whowereonce
young,werenowmiddle-agedandIhadgonefrommiddleagetooldage.Oneday,mysecretarytoldmethatsomeonecalledVishnuwantedtomeet
me.Bythistime,IknewmanyVishnusandwasnotabletoplacehimatonce.Shesaidthathewasastudentfrommyfirstbatchofstudents.NowIrecognizedhiminstantlyandtoldhertosetupanappointment.Afterall,oldwine,oldmemoriesandoldstudentsarepreciousinlife.Onthedayoftheappointment,Vishnuwalkedinrightontime.Hehadless
hairthanbeforeandsomeofthemweregrey.Hehadputonweight.Hewaswearinganexpensiveshirtandtherewasaplatinumdiamondringonhisfinger.Butalas,hisfacewaslikeadriedtomato.Therewasnotatraceofenthusiasmonit.Onthecontrary,Icouldseesomelinesofworryonhisface.HesatinfrontofmeandIorderedhimacupoftea.Vishnulookedatmeand
said,‘Madam,youlookreallyoldnow.’Ismiledandsaid,‘Timeandtidewillwaitfornoone.’Buthedidnotsmile
back.‘Howareyou,Vishnu?’Iasked.‘Ihaven’tmetyouforfifteenyears.Itisveryniceofyoutorememberyouroldteacherandcometoseeme.Whereareyou?Whatareyoudoingnow?AreyoustillwithMicrosoft?’‘No,madam.IleftMicrosoftafterthreeyears,’repliedVishnu.‘Nowonderpeoplesaythatifsomeonestaysinasoftwarecompanyformore
thanthreeyears,heisaloyalperson!’Hedidnotrespondtomyjoke.‘Sowhereareyounow?’Iaskedagain.‘IownacompanyinSingapore.Twohundredpeopleworkforme.Wemake
verygoodprofit.’IfeltVishnu’svoicehadthatprideofachievement,whichwasverynatural.‘SoyouhavesettledinSingapore?’
‘Notreally,IcometoIndiaquiteoftenbecauseofwork.IhaveahouseinVasantViharinDelhi,aflatinWorliinMumbai,abungalowinRajMahalVilasExtensioninBangalore,afarmonBannerghattaRoad...’Istoppedhim.‘Vishnu,Ididn’taskyouaboutyourassets.Iamnotan
income-taxperson.Ijustwantedtoknowwhereyounormallystay.’Iwaspullinghisleg,yethedidnotsmile.‘Vishnu,youhavetoldmeenoughaboutyourfinancialassets,’Icontinued.
‘Nowtellmeaboutyourmaritalstatus.Areyoumarried?Howmanychildrendoyouhave?Whatdotheydo?’Usually,amotherandateachergettheautomaticauthoritytoposethesequestionstoherchildrenandstudents.Iamnoexception.SomepeoplemindmyquestionsbecauseitistheirpersonallifeandIgetthehintandstop.Butmostpeoplehappilytellmeabouttheirlife.‘Yes,Iammarried.Ihaveaneight-year-olddaughter,’hesaid.Vishnupulledouthiswalletandshowedmehisfamilyphoto.Whenhewasin
college,heusedtogooutwithBhagya,agirljuniortohim.Buttheladyinthephotographwasdifferent.Shewasstunninglybeautiful,likeamodel,andhisdaughterwascute.Ifeltthathislifewasapicture-perfectpostcard.Hewassuccessful,rich,hada
veryprettywifeandadaughter.Whatelsecanonewantinlife?Withthiskindofsuccess,heshouldbeveryhappyandenthusiastic—buthewasnot.Ididnotknowthereason,butIknewthathewouldtellme.IstoppedtalkingandallowedVishnutospeak.Slowly,Vishnuopenedup.‘Madam,Ihaveaproblem.Ihavecometotalkto
you.’‘Whatproblem?AndwhydoyouthinkIhavethesolution?Actually,a
successfulpersonlikeyoushouldhelpanoldteacherlikeme,’Ijokedtoreducethetension.‘Itisnothingtodowithsuccess,madam.Forthelastfewyears,Ihavebeen
feelingverysad.IfeellikeIammissingsomethinginlife.Ican’tpinpointexactlywhatitis,’hesaid.‘Nothingmakesmehappy.Nothingevenmovesmeortouchesmyheart,evenifIseeaheart-wrenchingincident.IfeelthatIamtravellinginadesertwithoutwaterandtheroadsarepavedwithgoldandsilver...’Iaskedhimdirectly,‘Haveyouseenadoctororacounsellor?’
‘OfcourseIhave.Theysaidthatacompassionateheartisimportanttoenjoylife.Theytoldmetoreadbooksandadvisedmetotryandbehappybydoingthingssuchaslookingatthesunrise,listeningtothebirds,takinglongwalksandexercisingregularly.’‘Well,whathappened?’‘Ilostweightwithalltheactivitiesbutotherwisethingsdidn’timprove.I
wentbacktoacounselloragain.HetoldmetogotoSomaliaonatrip.’‘WhySomalia?’Iwassurprised.‘IknowthattherearetripstoEurope,Hong
KongandBangkok.ButIhaveneverheardofatriptoSomalia.Tellme,didyougothere?WhatdidyoudoinSomalia?’Iwascurious.‘Oh,theytookustoorphanages,HIVcampsandcampsofchildrensuffering
frommalnutrition.Butnothinghappened.Istilldidn’tfeelanything.Onthecontrary,mymindwasbusycalculatinghowSomaliacouldexporttoAmericaorotherEuropeannations.Whatwouldyouhavedoneinmyplace,madam?’hequestionedme.‘Don’tputmeinyourshoes.WhatIwoulddoislefttomeandyoudon’thave
todothesamething.Whycan’tyoutalktosomeonewhoisverydeartoyou—maybeafriendoryourwifeorsomeonefromyouragegroup?Theymightbeabletogiveyouabettersolution.Afterall,thereisagenerationgapbetweenus.’Hewasquiet.Thenhesaid,‘Madam,allmylife,Ihavecalculatedandmade
friendships.Ihaveneverspenttimewithpeoplewhoaren’tusefultomeinsomeway.Afterall,lifeisamerciless,competitivefield.Everymoveshouldtakemeonestephigherontheladderofsuccess.’Ithoughttomyself,‘NowIknowwhyBhagyawasreplacedbythemodel
wife.’‘Howmuchtimedoyouspendwithyourfamily?’‘Mydaughterisfriendlybutsheisnicetomeonlywhenshewantssomething
fromme.Sometimes,Ifinditverystrange.Achildlooksbeautifulonlywithinnocencebutmydaughterismorepractical.Mywifeisverybusywiththecarpetbusinessthatsheinheritedfromherfather.Shedoesn’thaveanytimetotalktomeandmydaughter,eventhoughsheworksfromhomemostofthetime.’
Hestoppedforasecondandcontinued,‘OrmaybeIthinkthatway.Mywifewantstogetallmycontactsandclientssothatshecanexpandherbusiness.Iammoreofadatabasetoherthanacompanion.’IunderstoodVishnu’sproblem.Sometimes,itisverydifficulttotalkwith
yourownfamily.Iwastouchedthathefeltsafecomingtome.Buthewasexpectingaquickfixfromme.Iwaswillingtolistentohisproblem,butthatdidnotmeanthatIalsohadthesolution.Vishnucontinued,‘Madam,tellme,howdoIbecomecompassionate?How
doIbuildastrongfamily?HowcanIenjoythesunriseandthemoonlight?Howmuchtimedoesittaketogetallthesequalities?Arethereanybooksoracrashcourseorpeoplewhocanteachme?Idon’tcareaboutthecostbutitshouldn’ttakemonthstogether.’Iwasshockedbyhisapproach.‘Vishnu,compassioncannotbetaught,soldor
bought,’Isaid.‘Thereisnotimelimiteither.Itisoneofthecharacteristicsthatyouhavetodevelopfromthebeginning.Understandthatlifeisajourney.Inthatshortjourney,ifyoucanshowcompassiontoothers,showitnow.Ourancestorshavealwaystalkedaboutthemiddlepathforareason.Thatpathmakesapersonstable,happyandcontent.Vishnu,youaretherolemodelforyourchildren.Childrenwillbewhattheysee.Whatyouhavedone,yourdaughterhascopied.’Vishnusighedandsaid,‘Yes,madam.Iunderstandwhatyouaresaying.Iwill
takemydaughterandworkwithpoorpeopleonaregularbasisalongwithher.Thatwillalsohelpusbond.IamhopingthatitwillmakemeabetterhumanbeingandIwillbeabletofeelworthyagain.NowIknowwhatbroughtmetoyou.Icannotthankyouenough.’Vishnuleftmyofficewithhopeinhisheartandasmileonhisface.
20
HowtoBeattheBoys
Recently,whenIvisitedtheUS,Ihadtospeaktoacrowdofbothstudentsandhighlysuccessfulpeople.Ialwayspreferinteractingwiththeaudience,soIopenedthefloortoquestions.Afterseveralquestionswereasked,amiddle-agedmanstooduptospeak.
‘Madam,youareveryconfidentandclearincommunicatingyourthoughts.Youareabsolutelyateasewhiletalkingtous...’Iwasdirect.‘Pleasedon’tpraiseme.Askmeyourquestion.’‘IthinkyoumusthavestudiedabroadordoneyourMBAfromauniversityin
theWest.Isthatwhatgivesyousuchconfidence?’heasked.Withoutwastingasecond,Ireplied,‘ItcomesfrommyB.V.B.’Heseemedpuzzled.‘Whatdoyoumean—myB.V.B.?’Ismiled.‘I’mtalkingabouttheBasappaVeerappaBhoomaraddiCollegeof
EngineeringandTechnologyinHubli,amedium-sizedtowninthestateofKarnatakainIndia.IhaveneverstudiedoutsideofIndia.TheonlyreasonIstandherebeforeyouisbecauseofthatcollege.’Inalightervein,Icontinued,‘I’msurethattheyoungpeopleinthesoftware
industrywhoarepresentheretodaywillappreciatethecontributionofInfosystoIndiaandtotheUS.InfosyshasmadeBengaluru,KarnatakaandIndiaproud.HadInotbeeninB.V.B.,Iwouldnothavebecomeanengineer.IfIwasn’tanengineer,thenIwouldn’thavebeenabletosupportmyhusband.Andifmy
husbanddidn’thavehisfamily’sbacking,hemayormaynothavehadthechancetoestablishInfosysatall!Inthatcase,allofyouwouldn’thavegatheredheretodaytohearmespeak.’Everyoneclappedandlaughed,butIreallymeantwhatIsaid.Afterthe
sessiongotoverandthecrowdleft,Ifelttiredandchosetositaloneonacouchnearby.Mymindwentbackto1968.Iwasaseventeen-year-oldgirlwithan
abundanceofcourage,confidenceandthedreamtobecomeanengineer.Icamefromaneducated,thoughmiddle-class,conservativeBrahminfamily.MyfatherwasaprofessorofobstetricsandgynaecologyattheKarnatakaMedicalCollegeatHubli,whilemymotherwasaschoolteacherbeforeshegotmarried.Ifinishedmypre-universityexamswithexcellentmarksandtoldmyfamily
thatIwantedtopursueengineering.Ihadalwaysbeenfascinatedwithscience,evenmoresowithitsapplication.Engineeringwasoneofthosebranchesofsciencethatwouldallowmetoutilizemycreativity,especiallyindesign.ButitwasasifIhaddroppedabombinsideourhouse.Theimmediatereactionwasofshock.Engineeringwasclearlyanall-male
domainandhenceconsideredatabooforgirlsinthosedays.Therewasnoquestioningthestatusquo,whereingirlswereexpectedtobeinthecompanyofotherfemalestudentsinamedicalorsciencecollege.Theideaofawomanenteringtheengineeringfieldhadpossiblyneverpoppedupinanyone’smind.Itwasakintoexpectingpigstofly.Iwasmygrandmother’sfavouritegranddaughter,butevenshelookedatme
withdisdainandsaid,‘Ifyougoaheadanddothis,nomanfromnorthKarnatakawillmarryyou.Whowantstomarryawomanengineer?Iamsodisappointedinyou.’MygrandmotherneverthoughtthatIwoulddoanythingshedisapprovedof.However,shealsodidn’tknowthatinthecityofMysore,acrosstheriverofTungabhadra,livedamannamedNarayanaMurthywhowouldlaterwanttomarryme.Mygrandfather,ahistoryteacherandmyfirstguruwhotaughtmereading
andwriting,onlymildlyopposedit.‘Mychild,youarewonderfulathistory.Whycan’tyoudosomethinginthisfield?Youcouldbeagreatscholaroneday.Don’tchaseadrysubjectlikeengineering.’
Mymother,whowasextremelyproficientinmathematics,said,‘Youaregoodatmaths.Whydon’tyoucompleteyourpost-graduationinmathematicsandgetajobasaprofessor?Youcaneasilyworkinacollegeafteryougetmarriedinsteadofbeingahardcoreengineerstrugglingtobalancefamilyandwork.’Myfather,aliberalmanwhobelievedineducationforwomen,thoughtfora
momentandsaid,‘Ithinkthatyoushouldpursuemedicine.Youareexcellentwithpeopleandlanguages.Totellyouthetruth,Idon’tknowmuchaboutengineering.Wedon’thaveasingleengineerinourfamily.Itisamale-dominatedindustryandyoumaynotfindanothergirlinyourclass.Whatifyouhavetospendfouryearswithoutarealfriendtotalkto?Thinkaboutit.However,thedecisionisyoursandIwillsupportyou.’ManyofmyauntsalsothoughtthatnoonewouldmarrymeifIchose
engineering.Thiswouldpossiblyentailmymarryingsomebodyfromanothercommunity,anabsolutelyunheard-ofthinginthosedays.However,Ididn’tcare.Asastudentofhistory,IhadreadHiuenTsang’sbook
Si-Yu-Ki.BeforeTsang’straveltoIndia,everybodydiscouragedhimfrommakingthejourneyonfoot,butherefusedtolistenanddecidedtogo.Intime,hebecamefamousforhisseventeen-year-longjourneytoIndia.TakingcouragefromTsang,Itoldmyfamily,‘Iwanttodoengineering.Comewhatmay,Iamreadyfortheconsequencesofmyactions.’IfilledouttheapplicationformforB.V.B.CollegeofEngineeringand
Technology,submitteditandsoonreceivedthenewsthatIhadbeenselectedonthebasisofmymarks.Iwasecstatic,butlittledidIknowthatthecollegestaffwasdiscomfitedbythisdevelopment.TheprincipalatthetimewasB.C.Khanapure,whohappenedtoknowmy
father.Theybothmetatabarbershoponedayandtheprincipalexpressedhisgenuineanguishatwhatheperceivedtobeanawkwardsituation.Hetoldmyfather,‘DoctorSahib,Iknowthatyourdaughterisveryintelligentandthatshehasbeengivenadmissiononlybecauseofmerit,butI’mafraidwehavesomeproblems.Shewillbetheonlygirlincollege.Itisgoingtobedifficultforher.First,wedon’thavealadies’toiletoncampus.Wedon’thavealadies’roomforhertorelaxeither.Second,ourboysareyoungwithraginghormonesandIamsurethattheywilltroubleher.Theymaynotdoanythinginfrontofthestaffbuttheywilldefinitelydosomethinglater.Theymaynotcooperatewithherorhelp
herbecausetheyarenotusedtotalkingtogirls.Asafatheroffourdaughters,Iamconcernedaboutyourstoo.Canyoutellhertochangehermindforherownsake?’Myfatherreplied,‘Iagreewithyou,ProfessorSahib.Iknowyoumeanwell,
butmydaughterishell-bentonpursuingengineering.Frankly,she’snotdoinganythingwrong.SoIhavedecidedtoletherpursueit.’‘Inthatcase,DoctorSahib,Ihaveasmallrequest.Pleaseaskhertoweara
saritocollegeasitisaman’sworldoutthereandthesariwillbeanappropriatedressfortheenvironmentshewillbein.Sheshouldnottalktotheboysunnecessarilybecausethatwillgiverisetorumoursandthat’snevergoodforagirlinoursociety.Also,tellhertoavoidgoingtothecollegecanteenandspendingtimetherewiththeboys.’Myfathercamebackandtoldmeaboutthisconversation.Ireadilyagreedto
alloftherequestssinceIhadnointentionofchangingmymind.Eventually,Iwouldbecomefriendlywithsomeoftheboys,butIalways
knewwheretodrawtheline.Thetruthisthatitwasthesesameboyswhowouldteachmesomeoflife’slessonslater,suchasthevalueofkeepingasenseofperspective,theimportanceoftakingiteasyeverynowandthenandbeingagoodsport.Manyoftheboys,whoarenowoldergentlemen,arelikemybrothersevenafterfiftyyears!Finally,itwasthelackofladies’toiletsoncampusthatmademeunderstandthedifficultyfacedbymanywomeninIndiaduetotheinsufficiencyorsheerabsenceoftoilets.Eventually,thiswouldleadmetobuildmorethan13,000toiletsinKarnatakaalone!Meanwhile,mymotherchoseanauspiciousdayformetopaythetuitionfee.
ItwasaThursdayandhappenedtobetheendofthemonth.MymothernaggedmetopaythefeeofRs400thatdayalthoughmyfatheronlyhadRs300left.Hetoldher,‘Waitforafewdays.IwillgetmysalaryandthenSudhacanpayherfees.’Mymotherrefusedtobudge.‘Ourdaughterisgoingtocollege.Itisabig
deal.Wemustpaythefeestoday—itwillbegoodforherstudies.’Whiletheywerestillgoingbackandforth,myfather’sassistant,DrS.S.
Hiremath,camealongwithhisfather-in-law,Patil,whowastheheadmanofBaadvillagenearShiggaon,thetownwhereIwasborn.Patilcuriouslyaskedwhatwasgoingonandmyfatherexplainedthesituationtohim.Hethentook
outhiswalletandgavemyfatherahundredrupees.Hesaid,‘DoctorSahib,pleaseacceptthismoney.Iwanttogiftittothisgirlwhoisdoingsomethingpath-breaking.Ihaveseenparentstakeloansandselltheirhousesorfarmstopaytheirsons’feessothattheycanbecomeengineers.Infact,sometimes,theydon’tevenknowwhethertheirchildwillstudyproperlyornot.Lookatyourdaughter.ShedesperatelywantstodothisandIthinksheisright.’‘No,MrPatil,’myfatherrefused.‘Ican’ttakesuchanexpensivegift.Iwill
acceptthisasaloanandreturnittoyounextmonthafterIreceivemysalary.’Patilcontinuedasthoughhehadn’theardmyfather,‘Themostimportant
thingisforyourdaughtertodoherbestandcompletehercourseandbecomeamodelforothergirls.’Thenheturnedtomeandsaid,‘Sudha,promisemethatyouwillalwaysbeethical,impartialandhard-workingandthatyouwillbringagoodnametoyourfamilyandsociety.’Inoddedmeekly,suddenlyhumbled.Myfirstdayofcollegearrivedamonthlater.Iworeawhitesariforthefirst
time,touchedthefeetofalltheeldersathomeandprayedtoGoddessSaraswatiwhohadbeenverykindtome.Ithenmademywaytothecollege.AssoonasIreached,theprincipalcalledmeandgavemeakey.Hesaid,
‘Here,MsKulkarni,takethis.Thisisthekeyofatinyroominthecorneroftheelectricalengineeringdepartmentonthesecondfloor.Youcanusethisroomwheneveryouwant.’Ithankedhimprofusely,tookthekeyandimmediatelywenttoseetheroom.I
openedthedoorexcitedly,butalas!Theroomhadtwobrokendesksandtherewasnosignofatoilet.ItwassodustythatIcouldnotevenconsiderenteringit.Seeingmethere,acleanercamerunningwithabroominhishand.Withoutlookingatme,hesaid,‘I’msosorry.PrincipalSahibtoldmeyesterdaythatagirlstudentwasgoingtojointhecollegetoday,butIthoughtthathewasjoking.SoIdidn’tcleantheroom.Anyway,Iwilldoitrightnow.’Afterhehadfinishedcleaning,Istillfeltthattheroomwasdusty.Calmly,I
toldhim,‘Leavethebroomhereandgivemeawetcloth,please.Iwillcleantheroommyself.’Aftercleaningtheroomtomysatisfaction,Ibrushedoffthedustonmy
clothesandwenttoclass.
WhenIenteredtheroomonthegroundfloor,therewere149pairsofeyesstaringatmeasthoughIweresomekindofanexoticanimal.Itwastruethough.Iwasthe150thanimalinthiszoo!IknewthatsomeofthemwantedtowhistlebutIkeptastraightfaceandlookedaroundforaplacetosit.Thefirstbenchwasempty.AsIwasabouttositthere,Isawthatsomeonehadspiltblueinkrightinthemiddleoftheseat.Thiswasobviouslymeantforme.Ifelttearsthreateningtospillover,butIblinkedthemaway.Makinguseofthenewspaperinmyhand,Iwipedtheseatcleanandsatonacornerofthebench.Icouldheartheboyswhisperingbehindme.Onegrumbled,‘Whythehelldid
youputinkontheseat?Nowshemaygoandcomplaintotheprincipal.’Anotherboyreplied,‘HowcansheprovethatIhavedoneit?Thereare149of
ushere.’Despitefeelinghurt,Ididnotgototheprincipaltocomplain.Hehadalready
warnedmyfatherthatifIcomplained,theseboysmightpersistintroublingmefurtherandImayeventuallyhavetoleavethecollege.So,Idecidedtokeepquietnomatterhowmuchtheseboystriedtoharassme.ThetruthwasthatIwasafraidofbeingsotroubledbytheboys’activitiesthat
Iwouldquitengineeringaltogether.Ithoughtofwaystostaystrong—physicallyandmentally.Itwouldbemytapas,orpenance.Inthatinstant,Iresolvedthatforthenextfouryears,Iwouldneithermissanyclassnoraskanyoneforhelpwithclassnotes.Inanefforttoteachmyselfself-restraintandself-control,IdecidedthatuntilIcompletedmyengineeringdegree,Iwouldwearonlywhitesaris,refrainfromsweets,sleeponamatandtakebathswithcoldwater.Iaimedtobecomeself-sufficient;Iwouldbemybestfriendandmyworstenemy.Ididn’tknowthenthatsuchaquotealreadyexistedintheBhagavadGitawhereKrishnasays,‘Atmaaivahiatmanobandhuaatmaaivaripuatmanah’.Wereallydon’tneedsuchpenancetodowellinourstudies,butIwasyoung
anddeterminedandwantedtodoallIcouldtosurviveengineering.Ihadgoodteacherswhowereconsiderateandsoughttolookoutformein
class.Theywouldoccasionallyask,‘MsKulkarni,iseverythingokaywithyou?’Evenourcollegeprincipal,ProfessorKhanapure,wentoutofhiswayto
inquireaboutmywelfareandifanyboysweretroublingme.However,Ican’tsaythesameaboutmyclassmates.
Oneday,theybroughtasmallbunchofflowersandstuckitinmyplaitedhairwithoutmyknowledgewhentheteacherwasnotaround.Iheardsomeoneshoutfromtheback—‘MsFlowerpot!’Iquietlyranmyfingersthroughmyhair,foundtheflowersandthrewthemaway.Ididnotsayanything.Attimes,theywouldthrowpaperairplanesatmyback.Onunfoldingthe
papers,Iwouldfindcommentssuchas,‘Awoman’splaceisinthekitchenorinmedicalscienceorasaprofessor,definitelynotinanengineeringcollege.’Otherswouldread,‘Wereallypityyou.Whyareyouperformingpenancelike
GoddessParvati?AtleastParvatihadareasonforit.ShewantedtomarryShiva.WhoisyourShiva?’Iwouldkeepthepaperplanesandrefrainfromreplying.Therewasafamousstudent-friendlyactivityinourcollegeknownas
‘fishpond’.Ratherthananactualfishpond,itwasafishbowlthatcarriedacollectionofanonymousnotes,orthe‘fish’.Anybodyfromthecollegecouldwriteacommentoranopinionthatwouldbereadoutlateronourcollegeannualday.Allthestudentswouldeagerlywaittohearwhatfunnyandwittyremarkshadbeenselectedthatyear.Thedesignatedhostwouldstandonthestageinthecollegequadrangleandreadthenotesoutloud.Everyyear,mostofthenoteswereaboutme.IwasoftenthetargetofKannadalimericks,oneofwhichIcanstillremembervividly:
Avvaavvagenasa,
Kariseeriudisa,
Gandanamanegekalisa.
Thisliterallytranslatesto:Mom,Mom,thereisasweetpotato,
Pleasegivemeablacksariandsendmetomyhusband’shouse,
ThisisbecauseI’malwayswearingawhitesari.
SomeoftheromanticnorthIndianboyswouldmodifythelyricsofsongsfrommovieslikeTeesriKasam:
Sajanrejhootmathbolo
Sudhakepassjaanahai
Nahaathihainaghodahai
Vahanpaidaljaanahai.
Thiscanbetranslatedas:Dear,comeon,don’tlie
IwanttogotoSudha
Ineitherhaveanelephantnorahorse
ButIwillgowalking(toher).
Alltheboyswouldthensneakaglanceatmetoseemyreaction,butIwouldsimplyholdbackmytearsandtrymyhardesttosmile.Iknewthatmyclassmateswereactingoutforareason.Itwasnotthatthey
wantedtobullyorharassmewithdeliberateintentionasisthenormthesedays.Itwasjustthattheywereunprepared—bothmentallyandphysically—todealwithapersonoftheoppositesexstudyingwiththem.Ourconservativesocietydiscouragedtheminglingofboysandgirlsevenasfriends,andso,Iwasasinterestingasanalientothem.Mymindjustifiedthereasonfortheboys’behaviourandhelpedmecope.Andyet,theremarks,thepranksandthesarcasmcontinuedtohurt.Myonlyoutletincollegewasmyactualeducation.Ienjoyedtheengineering
subjectsanddidverywellinmyexams.IfoundthatIperformedbetterthantheboys,eveninhardcoreengineeringsubjectssuchassmithy,filing,carpentryandwelding.TheboysworeblueoverallsandIworeablueapronovermysari.IknewthatIlookedquitefunny,butitwasasmallpricetopayfortheeducationIwasgetting.Whentheexamresultswereannounced,everyoneelseknewmymarksbefore
Idid.Almosteverysemester,myclassmatesandseniorswouldmakeasingularefforttofindoutmymarksanddisplaythemonthenoticeboardforeveryonetosee.Ihadabsolutelynoprivacy.Overthecourseofmystudies,Irealizedthatthebelief‘engineeringisa
man’sdomain’isacompletemyth.NotonlywasIjustascapableasthem,Ialsoscoredhigherthanallmyclassmates.ThisgavemeadditionalconfidenceandIcontinuedtonotmissasingledayorasingleclass.Ipersistedinstudyinghard,determinedtotopthesubsequentexaminations.Intime,Ibecameunfazedthatmymarksweredisplayedonthenoticeboard.Onthecontrary,IwasproudthatIwasbeatingalltheboysattheirowngameasIkeptbaggingthefirstrankintheuniversity.
Myabilitytobeself-sufficientmademestrongandtheboyseventuallystartedtorespectme,becamedependentonmeforsurveysanddrawingsandaskedmefortheanswerstotheassignments.Ibegantomakefriendsandeventoday,mygoodfriendsincludeRameshJangalfromthecivildepartment,mylabpartnerSunilKulkarni,andFakeerGowda,M.M.Kulkarni,HireGowda,AnandUthuri,GajananThakur,PrakashPadaki,H.P.SudarshanandRameshLodaya.Iwillneverforgetmyteachers:L.J.Noronhafromtheelectricalengineering
department,YogaNarasimha,agiftedteacherfromBangalore,Prof.Mallapurfromthechemistrydepartment,Prof.Kulkarnifromhydraulicsandmanymore.Betweenmyclasses,Ialsospentmuchtimeinthelibraryandthelibrarianbecameveryfondofmeovertime,eventuallygivingmeextrabooks.Ialsospokefrequentlytothegardeneraboutthetreesthatshouldbeplanted
infrontofthecollege,andduringmyfouryearsthere,Ihadhimplantcoconuttrees.WheneverIgotoB.V.B.now,Ilookatthecoconuttreesandfondlyremembermygoldendaysonthecampus.ThefouryearspassedquicklyandthedaycamewhenIfinallyhadtoleave.I
feltsad.Ihadcomeasascaredteenagerandwasleavingasaconfidentandbrightyoungengineer!Collegehadtaughtmetheresiliencetofaceanysituation,theflexibilitytoadjustasneeded,theimportanceofbuildinggoodandhealthyrelationshipswithothers,sharingnoteswithclassmatesandcollaboratingwithothersinsteadofstayingbymyself.Thus,whenIspeakoffriends,Idon’tusuallythinkofwomenbutratherofmenbecauseIreallygrewupwiththem.WhenIlaterenteredthecorporateworld,itwasagaindominatedbymen.Itwasonlynaturalformycolleaguesorfriendstobemenandonlysometimeswouldtherebewomen,whomIwouldgettoknowovermanyyears.Collegeisnotjustabuildingmadeupofwalls,benchesanddesks.Itismuch
moreintangiblethanthat.TherighteducationshouldmakeyouaconfidentpersonandthatiswhatB.V.B.didforme.Ilatercompletedmymaster’sprogrammefromtheIndianInstituteofScience,
Bangalore.Yet,B.V.B.continuestohaveaspecialplaceinmyheart.Whenmyfatherpassedawayduetooldage,Idecidedtodosomethinginhis
memory.Hehadallowedmetogoaheadandbecomeanengineer,despitealloddsandgrievanceshehadheardfromourfamilyandsociety.Thus,Ibuiltalecturehallinhismemoryinourcollegecampus.
WheneverIgoabroadtodeliveraspeech,atleastfivepeopleofdifferentagescomeandtellmethattheyarefromB.V.B.too.Iconnectwiththemimmediatelyandcan’thelpbutsmileandask,‘Whichyeardidyougraduate?Whowereyourteachers?Howmanygirlsstudiedinyourclass?’Now,wheneverIgobacktothecollege,itislikeacelebration,likeadaughter
cominghome.Towardstheendofthevisit,Ialmostalwaysstandaloneintheinnerquadrangleofthestage.MymemoriestakemebacktothenumerousoccasionswhenIreceivedawardsforacademicexcellence.Ithenspendafewminutesinfrontofthenoticeboardandwalkuptothesmallroomonthesecondflooroftheelectricalengineeringdepartmentthatwas‘Kulkarni’sRoom’,butnolongerdusty.IrememberthebenchonwhichIsatandpreparedformyexams.MyheartfeelsafamiliarachewhenIrecallsomeofmyteachersandclassmateswhoarenolongerinthisworldtoday.Andthen,asIwalkdownthestairs,Icomeacrossgroupsofgirls—chatting
awayhappilyandwearingjeans,skirtsortraditionalsalwar-kameez.Therearealmostasmanygirlsasthereareboysinthecollege.Whentheyseeme,theylovinglysurroundmeforautographs.Inthemidstofthecrowdandthesignings,Ithinkofmyparentsandmyjourneyoffiftyyearsandmyeyesgetmisty.MayGodblessourcollege,B.V.B.!
21
ThreeThousandStitches
WesetuptheInfosysFoundationin1996.Unfortunately,Iknewpreciouslittleabouthowthingsworkedinanon-profitorganization.Iknewmoreaboutsoftware,management,programmingandtacklingsoftwarebugs.Examinations,marksheetsanddeadlinesoccupiedmostofmydays.Theconceptbehindthefoundationwasthatitmustmakeadifferencetothecommonman—bahujanhitaya,bahujansukhaya—itmustprovidecompassionateaidregardlessofcaste,creed,languageorreligion.Asweponderedovertheissuesbeforeus—malnutrition,education,rural
development,self-sufficiency,accesstomedicine,culturalactivitiesandtherevivalofthearts,amongothers—therewasoneissuethatoccupiedmyuppermostthoughts:thedevadasitraditionthatwaspervasivethroughoutIndia.Theworddevadasimeans‘servantoftheLord’.Traditionally,devadasisweremusiciansanddancerswhopractisedtheircraft
intemplestopleasethegods.Theyhadahighstatusinsociety.WecanseeevidenceofthisinthecavesofBadami,aswellasinstorieslikethatofthedevadasiVinapodi,whowasverydeartotherulingkingoftheChalukyadynastybetweenthesixthandseventhcenturyinnorthernKarnataka.Thekingdonatedenormoussumsofmoneytotemples.However,astimewentby,thetemplesweredestroyedandthetraditionofthedevadasisfellintoruin.Younggirlswereinitiallydedicatedtotheworshipandserviceofadeityoratemplein
goodfaith,buteventually,theword‘devadasi’becamesynonymouswith‘sexworker’.Somewerebornintothelife,whileotherswere‘sacrificed’tothetemplesbytheirparentsduetovariousreasons,orsimplybecausetheycaughtahairinfectionliketheringwormofthescalp,assumedtobeindicativethatthegirlwasdestinedtobeadevadasi.AsIthoughtabouttheirplight,IrecalledmyvisittotheYellammaGudda(or
Renukatemple)inBelgaumdistrictofKarnatakayearsago.Irememberedtheirgreensarisandbangles,thesmearsofyellowbhandara(acoarseturmericpowder)andtheirthick,longhairastheyenteredthetemplewithgoddessmasks,coconuts,neemleavesandakalash(ametalpot).‘Whycan’tItacklethisproblem?’Iwondered.Ididn’trealizethenthatIwaschoosingoneofthemostdifficulttasksforour
veryfirstproject.Withinnocenceandbubblingenthusiasm,Ichoseaplaceinnorthern
Karnatakawherethepracticewasrampantandprostitutionwascarriedoninthenameofreligion.Myplanwastotalktothedevadasisandwritedowntheirconcernstohelpmeunderstandtheirpredicament,followedbyorganizingafewdiscussionstargetedtowardssolvingtheirproblemswithinafewmonths.Onmyfirstdayinthedistrict,Iarmedmyselfwithanotebookandpenand
setout.Idressedsimply,withnojewelleryorbindi.Iworeapairofjeans,T-shirtandacap.Aftersometime,Ifoundagroupofdevadasissittingbelowatreenearatemple.Theywerechattingandremovinglicefromeachother’shair.Withoutthinking,Iwentuptothem,interruptingtheirconversation.
‘Namaskaram,Amma.I’vecomeheretohelpyou.TellmeyourproblemsandI’llwritethemdown.’Theymusthavebeendiscussingsomethingimportantbecausethewomen
gavemeadirtylook.Theylobbedquestionsatmewithincreasingferocity.‘Whoareyou?Didweinviteyouhere?’‘Haveyoucometowriteaboutus?Inthatcase,wedon’twanttotalktoyou.’‘Areyouanofficer?Oraminister?Ifwetellyouourproblems,howwillyou
solvethem?’‘Goaway.Gobacktowhereyoucamefrom.’Ididnotmove.Infact,Ipersisted.‘Iwanttohelpyou.Pleaselistentome.
AreyouawarethatthereisadangerousillnesscalledAIDSthatyoucouldbe
exposedto?Thereisnocurefor...’‘Justgo,’oneofthemsnapped.Iglancedattheirfaces.Theywerefurious.ButIdidnotleave.‘Maybetheyneedalittleconvincing,’Ithought.Withoutwarning,oneofthemstoodup,tookoffherchappalandthrewitat
me.‘Can’tyouunderstandsimpleKannada?Justgetlost.’Insultedandhumiliated,Ifeltmytearsthreateningtospillover.Iturnedback
andfled.Uponreturninghome,withtheinsultfreshonmymind,Itoldmyself,‘Iwon’t
gothereagain.’However,afewdayslater,itoccurredtomethatthewomenwereprobably
upsetaboutsomethingelseandthatmaybeIhadsimplychosenthewrongtimeanddatetovisitthem.Soafteranotherweek,Iwentthereagain.Thisvisittookplaceduringthe
tomatoharvest.Thedevadasiwomenwerehappilydistributingsmalloval-shapedbright-redtomatoestoeachotherfromthebasketskeptnearthem.Iapproachedthemandsmiledpleasantly.‘Hello,I’vecometomeetyouagain!Pleasehearmeout.Ireally,reallywanttohelpyou.’Theylaughedatme.‘Wedon’tneedyourhelp.Butwouldyouliketobuy
sometomatoes?’‘No,Iamnotveryfondoftomatoes.’‘Whatkindofawomanareyou?Whodoesn’tliketomatoes?’Iattemptedtoengagethemoncemore.‘HaveyouheardofAIDS?Youmust
knowthatthegovernmentisspendingalotofmoneyonincreasingawarenessaboutit.’‘Areyouagovernmentagent?Ormaybeyoubelongtoapoliticalparty.How
muchcommissionareyougettingtodothis?Comeon,tellus!Wedon’tevenhaveaproperhospitalinthisareaandhereyouare,tryingtoeducateusaboutascarydisease.Wedon’tneedyourhelp.Ourgoddesswillhelpusindifficulttimes.’Istooddumbfounded,strugglingtofindwords.Oneofthewomensaiddecisively,‘Thisladymustbeajournalist.That’swhy
shehasapenandpaper.She’llwriteaboutusandmakemoneybyexploitingus.’Uponhearingthis,theothersstartedthrowingtomatoesatme.
Thistime,myemotionsoverpoweredmeandIstartedtocry.Sobbing,Ifledfromthereonceagain.Iwasindespair.‘WhyshouldIworkonthisproject?Whydotheykeep
insultingme?Whereelsedothebeneficiarieshumiliatethepersonworkingfortheirwell-being?Iamnotagoodfitforthisfield.Yes,Ishouldresignandgobacktomyacademiccareer.Thefoundationcanchooseadifferenttrustee.’WhenIreachedhome,Isatdowntocomposearesignationletter.Myfathercamedownthestairsandseeingmebusy,withmyheadbentclose
tothepaper,heasked,‘Whatareyouwritingsofrantically?’Inarratedtheentireepisodetohim.Tomyamazement,ratherthansympathizingwithme,myfatherchuckledand
said,‘Ididn’tknowthatyouweresoimpractical.’Istaredathiminanger.Hetookoutanicecreamfromthefridgeandforcedmetositdownandeatit.
‘It’llcoolyourhead,’hesaidandsmiled.Afterafewminutes,hesaid,‘Pleaseremember.Prostitutionhasexistedin
societysinceancienttimesandhasbecomeanintegralpartoflife.Itisoneoftherootproblemsofallcivilizations.Manykingsandsaintshavetriedtoeliminateitbutnolaworpunishmenthasbeensuccessfulinbringingitdowntozero.Notonenationintheworldisfreeofthis.Thenhowcanyouchangetheentiresystembyyourself?You’rejustanordinarywoman!Whatyoushoulddoisreduceyourexpectationsandloweryourgoal.Forinstance,trytohelptendevadasisleavetheirprofession.Rehabilitatethemandshowthemwhatitmeanstoleadanormallife.Thiswillguaranteethattheirchildrenwillnotfollowintheirfootsteps.Makethatyouraim,andthedayyouaccomplishit,IwillfeelveryproudknowingthatIgavebirthtoadaughterwhohelpedtenhelplesswomenmakethemostdifficulttransitionfrombeingsexworkerstoindependentwomen.’‘Buttheythrewchappalsandtomatoesatme,Kaka,’Iwhinedpetulantly.I
alwayscalledmyfather‘Kaka’.‘Actually,yougotapromotiontoday—fromchappalstotomatoes.Ifyou
pursuethisandgothereathirdtime,maybeyou’llgetsomethingevenbetter!’Hisjokebroughtareluctantsmiletomyface.‘Theywon’teventalktome.ThenhowcanIworkforthem?’
‘Lookatyourself,’myfathersaid,draggingmeinfrontofthenearestmirror.‘YouarecasuallydressedinaT-shirt,apairofjeansandacap.Thismaybeyourstyle,butthecommonmanandaruralIndianwomanlikethedevadasiwillneverconnectoridentifywithyou.Ifyouwearasari,amangalsutra[amarriedwoman’sholynecklace],putonabindiandtieyourhair,I’msurethattheywillreceiveyoumuchbetterthanbefore.I’llalsocomewithyou.Anoldmanlikemewillbeofgreathelptoyouinsuchanadventure.’Iprotested,‘Idon’twanttoaltermyappearancefortheirsake.Idon’tbelieve
insuchsuperficialchanges.’‘Well,ifyouwanttochangethem,thenyouhavetochangeyourselffirst.
Changeyourattitude.Ofcourse,it’syourdecisionintheend.’Heleftmeinfrontofthemirrorandwalkedaway.Myparentshadneverthrusttheirchoicesorbeliefsonmeoranyofmy
siblings,whetheritwasabouteducation,professionormarriage.Theyalwaysgavetheiradviceandhelpedusifwewanted,butwemadeallthechoices.Forafewdays,Iwasconfused.Ithoughtabouttheskillsneededforsocial
work.TherewasnoglamourormoneyinthisprofessionandIcouldnotbehavelikeanexecutiveinacorporatehouse.Irequiredlanguageskills,ofwhichEnglishmaynotbeneededatall!Ihadtobeabletositdownonthefloorandeatthelocalfood,nomatterwhereItravelledtoforwork.Ihadtolistenpatiently,andmostofall,IshouldlovetheworkIdid.Whatwouldgivemehighersatisfaction—keepingmyexternalappearancethewayitwasortheworkthatIwoulddo?Aftersomeintrospection,Idecidedtochangemyappearanceandconcentrate
completelyonthework.Beforemynextvisit,Ipulledmyhairback,tieditandadorneditwith
flowers.Iworeatwo-hundred-rupeesari,abigbindi,amangalsutraandglassbangles.Itransformedmyselfintoabharatiyanari,thestereotypicaltraditionalIndianwoman,andtookmyfatheralongwithmetomeetthedevadasis.Thistime,whenwewentthere,uponseeingmyagedfather,theysaid,
‘Namaste.’Myfatherintroducedme.‘Thisismydaughterandsheisateacher.Shehas
comehereonaholiday.Itoldherhowdifficultyourlivesare.Yourchildrenare
thereasonforyourexistenceandyouwanttoeducatethemirrespectiveofwhathappenstoyourhealth,amIright?’Theyrepliedinunison,‘Yes,sir!’‘Sincemydaughterisateacher,shecanguideyouwithyourchildren’s
educationandhelpthemfindbetterjobs.She’llgiveyouinformationaboutsomescholarshipswhichyoumaynotbeawareofandhelpyourkidsapplysothatyourfinancialburdenmaybereduced.Isthatokaywithyou?Ifnot,it’sallright.She’llgotosomeothervillageandtrytohelpthepeoplethere.Pleasedon’tfeelpressured.Thinkaboutitandgetbacktous.We’llbebackintenminutes.’Graspingmyhandtightly,hepulledmeashortdistanceaway.‘Whydidyousayallthat?’Iasked.‘Youshouldhavefirsttoldthemabout
thingslikethedangersofAIDS.’‘Don’tbefoolish.Wewilltellthemaboutitsomeothertime.Ifyoustartwith
somethingnegative,thennobodywilllikeit.Thefirstintroductionshouldalwaysbepositiveandbringrealhopetothebeneficiary.AndjustlikeI’vepromisedthem,youmusthelptheirchildrengetscholarshipsfirst.WorkonAIDSlater.’‘AndwhydidyoutellthemI’mateacher,Kaka?’Idemanded.‘Youcould
havesaidIwasasocialworker.’Myfatherofferedacalmrebuttal.‘Theyconsiderteachingtobeoneofthe
mostrespectablejobsandyouareaprofessor,aren’tyou?’Inoddedreluctantly,stillunsureofhisstrategy.Whenwewentback,thewomenwerereadytolisten.Theycalledme‘akka’.SoIstartedworkingwiththemtohelptheirchildrensecurethepromised
scholarships.Someofthesechildrenevenstartedgoingtocollegewithinayear.OnlyafterthishappeneddidIbringupthesubjectofAIDS,andthistime,theyheardmeout.Monthswentby.Ittookmealmostthreeyearstoestablisharelationshipwiththem.Iwastheirdarlingakkaandeventually,theytrustedmeenoughtosharetheirheart-rendingstoriesandthetrialstheyhadendured.Innocentgirlshadbeensoldintothetradebytheirhusbands,brothers,fathers,
boyfriends,unclesorotherrelatives.Someenteredthesextradeontheirown,hopingtoearnsomemoneyfortheirfamiliesandhelpfuturegenerationsescapepoverty.Stillotherswereluredintoitwiththepromiseofarealjob,onlytofind
themselvestrickedintosexwork.Hearingtheirstories,thereweremomentswhenIcouldn’thidemytears,yettheyweretheoneswhoheldmyhandandconsoledme!Eachstorywasdifferentbuttheendwasthesame—theyallsufferedatthehandsofasocietythatexploitedthemandfilledthemwithguiltandshameasafinalinsult.Irealizedthatsimplydonatingmoneywouldnotbolstertheirconfidenceor
buildtheirself-esteem.ThebestsolutionIcouldthinkofwastounitethemtowardsacommongoalbyhelpingthembuildtheirownorganization.ThestategovernmentofKarnatakahadmanygoodpoliciesthatencouragedhousing,marriageschemesandscholarships,butifwestartedanassociationoraunionexclusivelyforthedevadasis,theycouldaddresseachother’sproblems.Intime,theywouldbecomeboldandindependent,learningtoorganizethemselvesintheprocess.Thus,anorganizationforthedevadasiswasformed.IbelievethatGodcannot
bepresenteverywhereatonceand,instead,hesendspeopletodohiswork.AbhayKumar,akind-heartedandidealisticyoungmanfromDelhi,joinedusunexpectedly.HewantedtoworkwithmeandsoIdecidedtogivehimthetoughestjobinordertotesthispassionforsocialwork.ItoldAbhay,‘Ifyouworkwiththedevadasisforeightmonthsandsurvive,I’llthinkaboutabsorbingyouintotheprojectfull-time.’Aspromised,hedidnotshowupforeightmonths,andthenoneday,he
confidentlystrolledintomyoffice,alittlethinner,butgrinningfromeartoear.Isaid,‘Abhay,nowyouknowhowhardsocialworkis.Ittakesextreme
commitmentandpersistencetokeepgoing.‘YoucangobacktoDelhiwiththesatisfactionofhavingmadeadifferenceto
somanylives.YouareagoodhumanbeingandI’msurethatthislittleexperiencewillstaywithyouandhelpyoulater.’HesmiledandrepliedinimpeccableKannada,‘WhosaidthatIwantedtogo
backtoDelhi?I’vedecidedtostayinKarnatakaandcompletethisproject.’‘Abhay,thisisseriouswork.Youareyoungandthat’sagreatdisadvantagein
thislineofworkand...’Myvoicefadedaway.Ididn’tknowwhatelsetosay!‘Don’tworryaboutthat,madam!YougavemethebestjobIcouldpossibly
have.Ithoughtthatyoumightgivemeadeskjob.Ineverimaginedthatyou’dgivemefieldwork,thattootheprivilegeofworkingwiththedevadasis.This
pastyearhasmademerealizetheiragonyandunbearablehardships.Knowingthat,howcanIeverworkanywhereapartfromhere?’Iwasastonishedatsuchsincerityandcompassioninonesoyoung.Ioffered
himastipendtohelpwithhisexpensesbuthestoppedmewithashowofhishand,‘Idon’tneedthatmuch.Ialreadyhaveascooterandafewsetsofclothes.Ijustneedtwomealsaday,aroofovermyheadandalittlemoneyforpetrol.That’sit.’IgazedathimfondlyandknewthatIwasseeingamanwhohadfoundhis
purposeinlife.Hebadegoodbyeandleftmyofficewithdeterminedstrides.Obviously,Abhaybecametheprojectlead,andIsupportedhim
wholeheartedly,takingcaretoconversewithhimregularlyabouttheproject’sprogress.Oneday,Imetwiththedevadasisandinquiredaboutthewelfareoftheir
children.‘Ourgreatestdifficultyissupportingourchildren’seducation,’theysaid.
‘Mostofthetime,wecan’taffordtheirschoolfeesandthenwehavetogobacktowhatweknowtogetquickmoney.’‘Wewilltakecareofallyourchildren’seducationalexpenses,irrespectiveof
whichclasstheyarein.Butthatmeansthatyoumustnotcontinuebeingadevadasi,nomatterwhat,’Irepliedfirmly.Thewomenagreedwithouthesitation.TheyhadcometotrustAbhayandme
andknewthatwewouldkeepourword.Hundredsofchildrenwereenrolledintheproject—somewentontodo
professionalcourseswhileotherswentontocompletetheirprimary-,middle-orhigh-schoolclasses.WeheldcampsonAIDSawarenessandpreventionandsponsoredstreetart
andplaystoeducatethewomenandchildrenonvariousmedicalissues—includingthesimplefactthatinfectedhairisnotanindicationthatonemustbecomeadevadasi.Rather,itisasimplecurablediseasethatcausesthehairtosticktogetherandbecomemattedovertime.Thewomengotthemselvestreatedandsomeofthemevenhadtheirheadsshaved.Eventually,wewereabletogetthemloansbybecomingtheirguarantors.
Often,thewomenwouldtellme,‘Akka,pleasehelpusgetaloan.Ifwecan’t
repayit,thenitisasgoodascheatingyouandyouknowthatwe’llneverdothat.’BythistimeIknewinmyheartthatarichmanmightcheatmebutour
devadasisneverwould.TheyhadgreatfaithinmeandIinthem.Ontheotherhand,lifebecamemoredangerousforAbhayandme.We
receiveddeaththreatsfrompimps,localgoonsandothersthroughphonecalls,lettersandmessages.IwasscaredmoreforAbhaythanmyself.ThoughIaskedforpoliceprotection,Abhayflatlyrefusedandsaid,‘Ourdevadasiswillprotectme.Don’tworryaboutme.’Afewweekslater,somepimpsthrewacidonthreedevadasiswhohadleft
theirprofessionforgood.Butweallstillrefusedtogiveup.Theplasticsurgerythevictimsunderwenthelpedtobringbacktheirconfidence.Theywouldnotbeintimidated.Ourstrengthcamefromthesewomenwhowerecollectivelytryingtoleavethishatedprofession.Thoughthegovernmentsupplementedtheirincome,manyalsostartedrearinggoats,cowsandbuffaloes.Overtime,weestablishedsmallschoolsthatofferednightclasseswhichthe
devadasiscouldattend.Itwasanuphillbattlethattookyearsofeffortfromeverybodyinvolved.Aftertwelveyears,someofthewomenmetmetodiscussaparticularissue.‘Akka,wewanttostartabank,butweareafraidtodoitonourown.’‘Whatdoyouthinkhappensinabank?’Iasked.‘Well,youneedalotofmoneytostartabankorevenhaveanaccount.You
mustwearexpensiveclothes.We’veseenthatbankersusuallywearsuitsandtiesandsitinair-conditionedoffices,butwedon’thavemoneyforsuchthings,Akka.’Aftertheybroughtthisproblemtoourattention,AbhayandIsatdownwith
thewomenandexplainedthebasicsofbankingtothem.Afewprofessionalswereconsulted,andundertheirguidance,theystartedabankoftheirown,withtheexceptionofafewlegalandadministrativeservicesthatweprovided.However,weinsistedthatthebankemployeesandshareholdersshouldberestrictedonlytothedevadasicommunity.Sofinally,thewomenwereabletosavemoneythroughfixeddepositsandobtainlow-interestloans.Allprofitshadtobesharedwiththebankmembers.Eventually,thebankgrewandthewomenthemselvesbecameitsdirectorsandtookoveritsrunning.
Lessthanthreeyearslater,thebankhadRs80lakhindepositsandprovidedemploymenttoformerdevadasis,butitsmostimportantachievementwasthatalmost3000womenwereoutofthedevadasisystem.Ontheirthirdanniversary,Ireceivedaletterfromthebank.Weareveryhappytosharethatthreeyearshavepassedsincethebankwasstarted.Now,thebankisofsoundfinancialhealthandnoneofuspractiseormakeanymoneythroughthedevadasitradition.Wehaveeachpaidahundredrupeesandhavethreelakhssavedforabigcelebration.Wehaverentedoutahallandarrangedlunchforeveryone.Pleasecomeandjoinusforourbigday.Akka,youareverydeartousandwewantyoutobeourchiefguestfortheoccasion.Youhavetravelledhundredsoftimesatyourowncostandspentendlessmoneyforoursakeeventhoughwearestrangers.Thistime,wewanttobookaround-tripair-conditionedVolvobusticket,agoodhotelandanall-expenses-paidtripforyou.Ourmoneyhasbeenearnedlegally,ethicallyandmorally.Wearesurethatyouwon’trefuseourhumbleandearnestrequest.
Tearswelledupinmyeyes.Seventeenyearsago,chappalsweremyreward,butnow,theywantedtopayformytraveltothebestoftheirability.Iknewhowmuchthecomfortofanair-conditionedVolvobusandahotelmeanttothem.Idecidedtoattendthefunctionatmyexpense.Onthedayofthefunction,Ifoundthattherewerenopoliticiansorgarlands
orlongspeechesaswastypical.Itwasasimpleevent.Atfirst,somewomensangasongofagonywrittenbythedevadasis.Thenanothergroupcameanddescribedtheirexperiencesontheirjourneytoindependence.Theirchildren,manyofwhomhadbecomedoctors,nurses,lawyers,clerks,governmentemployees,teachers,railwayemployeesandbankofficerscameandthankedtheirmothersandtheorganizationforsupportingtheireducation.Andthenitwasmyturntospeak.Istoodthere,andwordssuddenlyfailedme.Mymindwentblank,andthen,
distantly,Irememberedmyfather’swords:‘IwillfeelveryproudknowingthatIgavebirthtoadaughterwhohelpedtenhelplesswomenmakethemostdifficulttransitionfrombeingsexworkerstoindependentwomen.’Iamusuallyaspontaneousspeakerbutonthatday,Iwastoochokedwith
emotion.Ididn’tknowwheretobegin.Forthefirsttimeinmylife,IfeltthatthedayImeetGod,Iwillbeabletostandupstraightandsayconfidently,‘You’vegivenmealotinthislifetime,andIhopethatIhavereturnedatleastsomething.I’veserved3000ofyourchildreninthebestwayIcould,relievingthemofthe
meaninglessandcrueldevadasisystem.YourchildrenareyourflowersandIamreturningthemtoyou.’Thenmyeyesfellonthewomen.Theyweresoeagertolistentome.They
wantedtohearwhatIhadtosay.Abhaywastheretoo,lookingoverwhelmedbyeverythingtheyhaddoneforus.IquotedaSanskritslokamygrandfatherhadtaughtmewhenIwassixyears
old:‘OGod,Idon’tneedakingdomnordoIdesiretobeanemperor.Idon’twantrebirthorthegoldenvesselsorheaven.Idon’tneedanythingfromyou.OLord,ifyouwanttogivemesomething,thengivemeasoftheartandhardhands,sothatIcanwipethetearsofothers.’Silently,Icamebacktomychair.Ididn’tknowwhatthewomenmustbe
thinkingorfeelingatthatmoment.Anolddevadasiclimbedupontothestageandstoodthereproudly.Witha
firmvoice,shesaid,‘Wewanttogiveourakkaaspecialgift.Itisanembroideredbedspreadandeachofushasstitchedsomeportionofit.Sotherearethreethousandstitches.Itmaynotlookbeautifulbutweallwantedtobepresentinthisbedspread.’Thenshelookedstraightatmeandcontinued,‘Thisisfromourheartstoyours.Thiswillkeepyoucoolinthesummerandwarminthewinter—justlikeouraffectiontowardsyou.Youwerebyoursideduringourdifficulttimes,andwewanttobewithyoutoo.’ItisthebestgiftIhaveeverreceived.
22
TheMeaningofPhilanthropy
Oneday,Iattendedaweddinginthefamilyandmetmyfriendsandrelativesafteralongtime.Sincewewereguestsandnotpartoftheorganizingcommittee,therewasplentyoftimeforustochat.Everybodywasgivingupdatesabouttheirlivesaswesatinagroupwhentheconversationmovedtothetopicofgivingbacktoourcountryandsociety.Oneofthewomenopined,‘Philanthropyneedsalotoftime.Also,awoman
mustbefinanciallystrongandhavefewerresponsibilitiesathome.Assumingthattherearenootherhobbiesthatsheispassionateabout,itispossibletopayattentiontocharitablework.’‘Ithinkitisalltodowithunpaiddebts,’remarkedacousin.‘Ifapersonhas
takenassistancefromsomeoneinapreviouslifetimeandtheyhaven’trepaidthatdebt,beitfinanciallyorphysically,thenthepersonmustrepaythedebtinthislifetime.So,allitmeansisthatphilanthropistshavetakenalotofhelpintheirlastbirthandaresimplyrepayingthosedebtsnow.’Anotherwomansaid,‘Youdon’tneedtalentwhenitcomestodistributing
moneyforcharity.Itisnothingbutawaytopasstime.’Thenshelookedatmewithafriendlysmileandasked,‘Youarefromtheindustry.Whatdoyouthink?’Iknewthattheintentionsofmyfamilyandfriendsweren’tbadatall.So,Idid
notgethurtorfeelupset.Withtime,Ihavebecomeinsensitivetounhelpfulcommentsandmoresensitivetocauses.IexplainedtothemasbestasIcould.
‘Inmylongjourneyofphilanthropy,’Isaid,‘Ihavemetmanypeoplewhohavehelpedothers,irrespectiveoftheircircumstances.Forinstance,someofthemdidnothaveanymoney,somehadalittle,whiletherewereotherswhohadmorethantheywouldeverneed.Theonlythingyoureallyneedtobeaphilanthropististheattitudeanddeterminationtoassistothers.’‘Givemeanexample,’saidoneofthem.‘OfcourseIwill.Thatisthebestwaytoconvinceyou.Youmusthave
travelledatleastoncefromtheBadamirailwaystationtothetown.Therearehugeneemtreesoneithersideoftheroad.Thestorygoesthatthereoncelivedalamemanwhowantedtomakeadifference.So,heplantedneemsaplingsallbyhimselfonbothsidesoftheroad.Intheolddays,therewassufficientrainandnotmuchglobalwarming.Sotheplantsgrewintotrees.Today,however,nooneremembershisnameandallthatremainsisastoryofanunknownlamemanwhoprovidedshadetoallthefuturetravellersonthatroad.Tellme,isn’tthatanactofcharity?’Therewere‘oohs’and‘aahs’fromthewomensittingaroundme.‘Tellusmore,’afewchorused.Inoticedmorepeoplejoiningourgroup.‘Well,thereisawell-knownurologistinBangalorenamedDrSridhar.He
livedandworkedabroadbeforemakingadecisiontocomebacktothecountry.Hecouldeasilyhavedecidedotherwiseandworkedforaprivatehospitalinaforeignlandandearnedmuchmoremoney.Insteadthisdoctorliveswithhisfamilyinatwo-bedroomrentedhomeforthelastthirty-oneyearsandworkseverydaytowardsfulfillinghisdreamofprovidingaprofessionalopinionandhelpingpeople,withcompletedisregardtofinancialconsideration.Hehasfoundawaytodothisbymakingacleardemarcationinthewayheworks.Heseespatientsinthemorningandchargeshisusualfees.However,intheevening,between4p.m.and6p.m.,heseeseachpatientforfree,irrespectiveoftheincomeofthepatients.Thus,hebalancesbothpartsofhislifewithsincerity.‘WhenIaskedhimthesecretbehindhisnobledeed,hesaid,“Ihaveavery
understandingandsupportivewifeandencouragingchildren,whohaveallowedmetogodownthisroad.Iwouldn’thavebeenabletodosowithoutthem.”That’swhenithitmethateveninphilanthropy,greatthingscannotbeachievedwithoutfamilysupport.’Isawafewnodsinthegroup.
Icontinued.‘Recently,IwasinJaipurforwork.WhileIwastravellinginthecity,mydriverstoppedtogotoadhabaandhavetea.Whilewaiting,Isawabeautifulfarmsurroundedbyaboundarywall.Therewasapatchofgreenvegetablesbetweentheboundarywallandtheroad,andIsawagardenerworkingthere.Curious,Iwentuptohimandstartedaconversation.“Whyareyouworkingoutsidetheboundary?Whodoesthispatchbelongto?”Justthen,abigandstrongmancameoutofthefarmandheadedtowardsthepatch.WhenIaskedhimthesamequestion,heinvitedmetocomeinsideandhavealook.Iwentinandimmediatelyrealizedthatthelandbelongedtoarichfamily.WhenIthrewsomemorequestionsattheman,hesaid,“Thisismyancestralland.IrealizedeeplythatthereareotherswhodonothavelandandarenotasfortunateasIam.So,Idecidedtogrowafewsimplevegetableslikecoriander,spinach,fenugreekandothergreenleafyonesinthepatchoutside.Thegardenerhasbeeninstructedtotakecareofitinthesamewaythathetakescareoftherestofmyland.Ihavealsotoldhimtoletanyonetakethevegetablesfromtherewithoutquestion.Hemustonlydohisworkwithsincerity.”‘Iwassurprised.“Whotakesthevegetables?”Iasked.“Therearemanylabourerswhoworkaroundhere.Theycomeandpicksome
up.”“Whathappensifapersonwhoisn’tpoortakesit?”“ThenIfeelnothingbutpityforhimorher,butwedon’tsayanything.Ihave
beendoingthisformanyyearsnow,andeveryoneinthisareaknowsthatpoorpeoplegetfreevegetablesfromthisgarden.”Iwasamazedathisquietbenevolence.’Ilookedaroundandsaweveryonelisteningwithraptattention.Acousin
smiledandaskedmetocontinuewithashowofherhand.‘Letmetellyouofanotherincident.InRajasthan,peoplebelievethatgiving
freewatertopeopleisapiousact,especiallyinthesummer.Isawmudpotsonthesideoftheroadthatwerealmostalwaysfilledwithwaterforpassers-by.Oneday,Isawamantakingawaythemudpot.Unabletocontainmyinquisitiveness,Iaskedhim,“Whyareyoucarryingthis?Thismustalwaysbekeptfilledandonthesideoftheroad.”‘Themangavemeaslightsmile.Hesaid,“Behenji,peoplehappilyfillwater
inthepots,butwhattheyfailtorealizeisthatthesamepotcanbecomeasource
ofinfectiousdiseasesifnobodycarestocleanit.So,oncethepotisempty,myjobistothoroughlycleanitandonlythenfillitwithdrinkingwater.”’‘Ah!’Thecrowdaroundmechorused.Afriendremarked,‘Iknowmanyautorickshawdriversinthecitywhodrive
oldandsickpeopleandpregnantwomenfreeofchargeonceaweek.’‘Yes,that’sexactlywhatphilanthropyisabout.PhilanthropyisaGreekword
wherephilosmeanslovingandanthroposmeansman.Justliketheautorickshawdrivers,thepeopleIspokeaboutwerenotrich.Someweremiddle-classandsomewerepoor.So,itisn’tabouthowmuchapersonhasbuttheirattitudetowardsfellowbeings.Itiscompassion,akindword,awarmhugandalittlesharingthatmakesusbetterhumanbeings.Ifweareluckyenoughtoberich,thenwecanhelpmorepeople.Ifapersoncanbealeaderwithcompassionandagoodattitude,thenheorshecanmakeadefinitechangeinsociety.Don’tyouthink?’Amurmurofagreementandhopefulsighswentthroughthegroup,evenas
someoneannouncedthatitwastimeforustoheadtothenextroomfortheweddingmeal.Quickly,thegroupsplitintosmallerclustersasweheadedtowardssomewell-deservedlunch.
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Thiscollectionpublished2018
Copyright©SudhaMurty2018
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ISBN:978-0-143-44434-3
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