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By Journalist Leon Bing

An inside account of

street gangs and their brutal

world.

An inside An inside account of account of

street gangs and street gangs and their brutal their brutal

world.world.

Healthy vs.

Unhealthy

Healthy Equation = You are willing to die for the same things

you are willing to kill for.

Healthy Equation = You are willing to die for the same things

you are willing to kill for.

FAMILY SELF-DEFENSE

Unhealthy Equation = Most gang members are willing to kill

for almost any reason, but not willing to die for all of them

Unhealthy Equation = Most gang members are willing to kill

for almost any reason, but not willing to die for all of them

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"He has sixty year old eyes set down in that seventeen year

old face.""Graveyard eyes."

Leon Bing's observation of Faro, a seventeen year old gang

Most gang members have a poor family

life and the gang fills that void.

"In my set you get a rep for straight

killin!"Tiny Vamp (13 year old gang member)

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“Lemme say it this way –little motherfuckers be out there…they gotta

learn how to survive….school ain’t

gonna teach ‘em how to do that.”

~ B-Dog, an older gang member

"We have become a crisis-oriented society." "We rally to raise funds for flood or earthquake victims,

we rally to fight disease, but only at a crisis point." "There just doesn't

seem to be the energy or the enthusiasm to do that before the

crisis develops."

Herb Giron, Lennox Sheriff Department gang unit-

"We have to do something to keep these kids from becoming

criminals, and that's where we're failing. "We have under

construction or approved for construction in Los Angeles

County, about seven hundred million dollars' worth of

facilities." "Somehow they think we are going to build our way

out of this dilemma."Sherman Block, Los Angeles Sheriff

By Dan Kindlon, PH.D. and

Michael Thompson,

PH.D.

Protecting the Emotional Life

of Boys

Protecting the Protecting the Emotional Life Emotional Life

of Boysof Boys

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Turning Boys Away from their Inner Life

Turning Boys Away from Turning Boys Away from their Inner Lifetheir Inner Life

Boys long for connection at Boys long for connection at the same time they pull away; the same time they pull away;

this opens up an this opens up an emotional divide.emotional divide.

••Give boys permission to have an internal Give boys permission to have an internal lifelife

••Give them approval for the full range of Give them approval for the full range of human emotionshuman emotions

••Help them develop an emotional Help them develop an emotional vocabulary so that they may better vocabulary so that they may better understand themselves and communicate understand themselves and communicate more effectively with others.more effectively with others.

Generally speaking, boys do Generally speaking, boys do not feel as able or as valued not feel as able or as valued

as girls in the central as girls in the central learning tasks of learning tasks of

Elementary School.Elementary School.

The Struggle of Young Boys in Early EducationThe Struggle of Young The Struggle of Young Boys in Early EducationBoys in Early Education

••Rearrange your classroom schedule Rearrange your classroom schedule to include short interludes where to include short interludes where students can move, exercise or runstudents can move, exercise or run

••Arrange your classroom with more open Arrange your classroom with more open area for freedom of movementarea for freedom of movement

•• Help boys feel a sense of belonging, rather Help boys feel a sense of belonging, rather than emphasizing their differencesthan emphasizing their differences

••Mentor, encourage, and hire more male Mentor, encourage, and hire more male teacher and aids in the lower gradesteacher and aids in the lower grades

The difference between coarse and refined abuse is the difference between being bruised by a

club and wounded by a poisoned arrow.

The difference The difference between coarse and between coarse and refined abuse is the refined abuse is the difference between difference between being bruised by a being bruised by a

club and wounded by club and wounded by a poisoned arrow.a poisoned arrow.

••Help parents understand that harsh Help parents understand that harsh physical and verbal punishments do not turn physical and verbal punishments do not turn ““boys into menboys into men””

••Avoid using rejection as a punishmentAvoid using rejection as a punishment

••Be aware that statistically boys (especially Be aware that statistically boys (especially African American boys) are more likely to African American boys) are more likely to receive corporal punishment at school receive corporal punishment at school

••Use discipline to build character and Use discipline to build character and conscience, not enemies.conscience, not enemies.

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Cruelty and fear shake hands

together.

Cruelty and fear Cruelty and fear shake hands shake hands

together.together.

Psychological Psychological warfare in peer warfare in peer

groups.groups.

••Be aware that there can be a Be aware that there can be a ““culture of culture of crueltycruelty”” (starting at the age of ten) where (starting at the age of ten) where older or stronger boys dominate and betray older or stronger boys dominate and betray other boys weaker than themselvesother boys weaker than themselves

••Watch for harassment and take the Watch for harassment and take the initiative to interveneinitiative to intervene

••Work to create a climate that clearly Work to create a climate that clearly communicates a moral code in which cruelty communicates a moral code in which cruelty is neither tolerated nor ignoredis neither tolerated nor ignored

Fathers and Sons: A Legacy of Desire and Distance“And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past…”

Mothers and Sons: A Story of Connection and Change

“There is an enduring tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that

transcends all other affections of the heart.”

Inside the Fortress of Solitude“I am a rock. I am an island.”

Boys’ Struggle withDepression and Suicide

“In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o’clock in the morning,

day after day.”

Drinking and Drugs: Filling the Emotional Void“[W]e accepted the folklore that being a man meant being able to “hold your liquor” and we became fascinated with getting high.”

Romancing the Stone : From Heartfelt to Heartless

Relations with Girls“And maybe I’m amazed at the way I

really need you.”

Anger and Violence“The greatest remedy for anger is delay.”

What Boys Need“What is the normal child like? Does he eat and grow and smile sweetly? No, that is not what he is like. The normal child, if he has

confidence in mother and father, pulls out all the stops…”

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••Talk to boys in their language Talk to boys in their language –– in a way that honors their in a way that honors their pride and their masculinity. pride and their masculinity. Be direct with them; use them Be direct with them; use them as consultants and problem as consultants and problem solvers.solvers.

••Teach boys that emotional Teach boys that emotional courage is courage, and that courage is courage, and that courage and empathy are the courage and empathy are the sources of real strength in life.sources of real strength in life.

By RubyPayne

The hidden rules of the middle class govern schools and work;

students from generational poverty come with a completely different set of hidden rules.

The hidden rules of the middle class govern schools and work;

students from generational poverty come with a completely different set of hidden rules.

What is the What is the Mentality of Mentality of Poverty Poverty Stricken Stricken People?People?

Poverty is relative.

Poverty occurs in all

races.

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Generalization and situational poverty are two different things

Each individual brings with them

hidden rules of the class they are in.

Schools and Businesses

operate in the middle class.

Students’ success is based on whether

educators can find the hidden rules that

govern them.

Educators must teach and support with insistence and

expectations

To move from one class to another, a

person must give uprelationships.

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Must understand their resources and

support systems. (financial,

emotional, mental...etc.)

••Try to schedule students with the same teachers Try to schedule students with the same teachers for a number of years for a number of years ••Understand that educators are important role Understand that educators are important role models for these studentsmodels for these students••Help students develop emotional as well as physical Help students develop emotional as well as physical resources:resources:

-- coping strategiescoping strategies-- options with problem solvingoptions with problem solving

-- positive self talkpositive self talk-- relief from constraintsrelief from constraints

-- information and know how connections with othersinformation and know how connections with others

By Diane

ChelsomGossen

Restitution helps students make the right choices from within. It is learning

rather than teaching.

Past and Current Discipline Practices

Punisher has the position of Power“You will do it, or else”

Guilter demoralizes “It’s all right, I will do it myself”

Buddy doesn’t harm the student, but leads to dependency “I thought you were my friend”Monitor Sets, rules and limits, student learns to conform

“You have lost 15 minutes of free time”Manager has dialogue about the students’beliefs and values, to reach each other’s goals

“If you believe your goal, how do you want to solve this problem?”

Both Monitoring and ManagingTeach the Child Discipline

• Monitoring teaches conformitystudents are rewarded to avoid discomfort, students learn how to do-time and do-apologies

• Managing teaches the student self-discipline, students learn

how to fix their mistakes and accept their frailties

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BataviaAcademy

BataviaAcademy

•“What’s the rule?”•“Is it against the rule?”•“Can you figure out a better way?”

•Students aren’t being told what to do, but are lead to think what’s right to do.

Questioning Techniques

Bottom LineGoal: To replace ineffective behaviors with effective behaviors

Some behaviors will not be tolerated = Bottom Line

Bottom Line behaviors = Consequences

Consequences are not about retaliation

Each situation will be assessed on an individual basis

1. Drugs and Smoking including Tobacco

2. Physical aggression with intent to do harm

3. Discriminatory Remarks

4. Weapons

5. Harassment/Bullying

6. Threats/Intimidation

7. Theft

8. Vandalism

Restitution Theory uses the Monitoring Principle

Provides a satisfactory amends to the victim teacher influences options: Students can fix, pay back or even to say two positives about the victimLittle incentive for the student to repeat the offenseRestrains the use of criticism, guilt, or anger during discipline.Students doing “their job”, & “teachers doing their job” both striving to achieve their goals.

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1) We respect each individual’s view of the world. (Control Theory)

2) We create conditions of safety and space for reflection so the brain can take in and evaluate information and create moral meaning. (Brain Based Learning)

3) We reduce both rewards and consequences, which deflect youth from developing self-discipline. (Alfie Kohn)

4) We develop internal moral sense rather than forcing conformity. (Aboriginal Beliefs)

5) Bottom lines will be upheld consistently and publicly so people feel safe. (Violence Research)

The Restitution Self Discipline program is based on the following principles:

Control Theory

We are internally motivatedPositive reinforcement hinders people from achieving their freedomAll behavior is purposefulMaking mistakes is the best way to learn

Michael JordanMichael Jordan“I’ve missed more than

9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost more than 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning-shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Don’t focus onwhat the student did wrong. Focus

on how theycan make it right!

Steven R. Covey, writes in his book

Principle – Centered Leadership

“If you want to make steady,incremental improvement,

change your attitude and your behavior thus

changing your paradigm, which is your reality.”

“In the face of a mistake, if we can create a successful

restitution ...”We strengthen ourselvesWe strengthen our studentsWe strengthen society as a whole

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“Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s the determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek.”

Mario Andretti

Restitution

By Allen Mendler

andRichard Curwin

For Challenging

Youth

For For Challenging Challenging

YouthYouth

• “Measuring how high students climb is not as important as measuring their effort while they climb”

• We need to get away from comparing some students with others

• We need to be careful with “escalator discipline” because; while it may remove the problem—it does not solve the problem

• Be responsible to teach all students• View difficult behavior as an opportunity

to educate for change• The more we motivate, the less we

discipline• Discipline is another form of instruction• There is a need to have numerous

strategies

• Establish Limits• Provide healthy,

viable choices• Help students learn from

consequences• Elicit a commitment to change• Develop remorse

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• Reframe perceptions of your students• Identify your goals for students• Control your emotions• Monitor stress• Recognize pressure by outside forces• Be careful not to give in to habit• Be careful who you model yourself after• Look for commonalities between you and

your challenging students

• Recognize that behavior is misdirected• Refuse to give up• Be creative• Step outside of your comfort zone• Provide opportunities to become more

responsible• Identify why students misbehave• Meet basic needs when you can

• Belonging• Attention• Competence• Power• Empathy• Fun• Relevance

• Create a caring classroom• Teach self-control• Promote concerns for others• Establish clearly defined limits• Emphasize responsibility rather than

obedience• Teach conflict resolution skills• Network with others

• Identify and meet basic needs• Do not allow gangs to represent at school• Be vigilant in enforcing violations of law• Identify school/community service projects

that need student involvement• Show respect• Meet with gang leaders when you need to set

limits• Periodic sweeps to monitor for controlled

substances• Provide an anonymous hotline for student to

report activity