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Know YourselfJason Randhawa

Do you truly know yourself?

Life is simply the process, or journey, of knowing yourself. The ultimate reason for life is self-discovery. Yet, many people spend their entire lives getting farther and farther away from their own true nature. Most people are constantly distorting their own idea of themselves, only because they do not know what they truly are. They are not even aware that this identity they hold of themselves is false, since they do not know their who they truly are. How can you expect someone to discover their true inner nature when they are constantly being distracted by society as well as constantly interacting with others who themselves also do not know their own true nature?

In this article, this false sense of self that almost everyone holds onto in place of truly knowing themselves will be referred to as the “false self”. I will discuss this issue more, but first I must answer the seemingly obvious question: why would anyone want to get to know their true self?

Only by knowing yourself can you ever understand and love others. This is not a superficial understanding of others. I am talking about feeling your deep, divine connection with each and every person that you come across in your life. When you truly understand yourself, you cannot help but feel a powerful, unconditional love for yourself. This love is so powerful that it breaks all boundaries between yourself and others. When you truly love and know yourself (Note: the powerful feeling of loving yourself only arises when you have come to know yourself) you stop seeing people’s false sense of self, instead you see everyone as a beautiful soul. When you are in contact with someone, you know without a doubt that they are you and that you are them.

The self that you must come to know is not an artificial creation of the mind. Rather it is the mind itself. We go through life projecting who we think we are. This false self is nothing more than an artificial creation of the mind, yet we fully believe that this is who we are. No! This is a projection of the barbaric society humanity has created for itself.

This false self is the person you project in hopes that somehow you are projecting your deep, divine self. Once again, you do not consciously project this false self. Instead you are mistaken and have not come to know your true inner nature. The false self is the person that others (who also do not know their own true nature) bring out of you. You act and think with this false sense of self completely oblivious to your true inner nature.

Even though you may have lived your entire life thinking of yourself with a false identity, does not mean that you cannot come to know yourself. In fact, we must all eventually come to know our own true inner nature. Most people spend their entire lives running away from their true selves, only to come crashing back to knowing themselves through the transition that we call death.

As a side note, your false self is the only thing that dies in death. It is the reason we fear death,

because our true selves are unknown. All we know is our false self and we know that one day we will lose this false sense of self. On the other hand, the true self cannot possibly die, nor could it ever be born. It has always been. The true self is the Infinite Being at the heart of your soul. It is your Essence. God has always been a symbol of the true self.

Modern society is made up of distractions. These distractions consume our lives. They ensure that we remain oblivious to our true inner nature. Almost every pastime or activity that you can name is a distraction! This even includes working and accomplishing goals (when the purpose of the accomplishment is not the process of accomplishing the goal, but the reason behind it is to get you somewhere you think you want to go).

Even most spiritual growth or personal development information is a distraction. When you are holding a false sense of self, this information feeds it. Although, these distractions may help to give you clues as to your true nature, they cannot directly trigger self-realization. The only source of truth you have in your life is your own inner nature. Although these information products may guide you, the path to knowing yourself is a personal and intimate journey. I cannot come close to explaining the true nature of yourself, especially when you mistakenly believe that you are the false self.

I strongly urge you to dedicate yourself to understanding the inner workings of your mind. If you choose this path, you must pursue it with an unrelenting passion for the mind as well as an openness to the unexpected and unbelievable intricacies of its true nature. This is how you will come to know your true nature. Do whatever it takes! If enough of us choose this path of running towards ourselves (instead of away), the next great age of humanity will arise from self-knowledge (which leads to a true, unconditional self-love). We have so much to learn from the workings of our own mind.

Society as we know it is fundamentally flawed. The false self is a result of this sick society. And, the false self is also what keeps us from recognizing the deep flaws in our current ways of living (or society in general). As you can tell, this creates a vicious circle that perpetuates the false sense of self and our barbaric society. Truly knowing ourselves is the only way we can ever transform society. Humanity must literally awaken to its own true nature in order for us to create a new world. Actually, once humanity realizes its true self we will not have a choice in created a new world. We will not be able to live in the old ways of being which were created as a result of being mistaken about our own true identity

In order for the path of self-discovery to have an impact on whom you think you are, you must minimize the distractions in your life. Spend at least a few hours every week with absolutely no distractions. This means you simply be. You do not do anything and you do not try to get anywhere. Just be still and completely open to WHATEVER (including nothing) happens. Let go of all the resistance you are not even aware of holding. Open up to your own self. Look into your mind and do not judge what you see. If boredom (a projection of the false self) sets in, simply observe it. Completely surrender to the boredom. Do not choose to be distracted.

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Chances are you have been living a distracted life and it is all you know. This can always change, but you must be the source of the change. Spend time with yourself. If you do this enough eventually you will surrender to all uncomfortableness (a result of the false self) that sets in when you are not distracted. Once this takes place you will initiate your magical journey of truly knowing your own inner nature.

The process of knowing yourself is a continuous one. I highly doubt that there is an end to self-discovery. The true journey of knowing the deep, inner nature of your own mind can be difficult to initiate. But once started, I can’t imagine it ever stopping. Your thirst for true self-discovery will never again be satisfied. Each day, in every way, you will come to love yourself more and more. This will have a profound impact on everyone you come in contact with. This wave of self-love will begin to radiate through society. Eventually vibrating to a level where society will be transformed. Remember, this is all a result of knowing the inner workings of your own mind.

The good news and the bad news is that there are no set-rules or guidelines for self-discovery. You must simply learn to surrender to your own mind. It may be helpful to acknowledge and reaffirm your intent to know yourself everyday. When it is right you will know exactly what your next step is. Go within, tune in to the “center” of your mind and simply listen. Listen intently and passionately, with absolutely no bias or expectations at all!

The only source of truth we have in life is our own inner nature. We are all on a journey of self-discovery. Once you get past all of your false needs and desires (the internal result of this false sense of identity) you will come to know whom you truly are.

It is a very personal process that you must painstakingly go through. Nobody can possibly tell you who you truly are. This includes you (or rather who you think you are). Stop trying to tell yourself who you are and truly listen within. Right now, you have the potential to realize that you simply are. At the very least, please never forget this potential within you.

How Well Do You Know Yourself?http://www.isoulseek.com

Perhaps you have heard it said that you can’t really love someone until you learn to love yourself. There is a lot of wisdom and truth in that saying, but in some ways, that old adage leaves something out. You can’t really love yourself until you know yourself. Learning who you are is an important step in learning to love and appreciate yourself and it is an important part of the process that will prepare you to enter the dating game.

Knowing who you are entails having an understanding of where you have been in life and where you are going. Every experience you have had in life has helped to shape the person that you are. That doesn’t mean that you are a victim of your circumstances. It isn’t so much the circumstances of your life that shape you as it is the way in which you choose to react to those circumstances.

If you really want to understand who you are, spend time analyzing the major events of your life and consider how they affected you. Take time to think about your family and contemplate how their influence has helped to shape your morals, self esteem, and even your outlook on life. Have past relationships jaded the way that you look at love? Have the people you As you reflect on your past, decide whether or not the events of your past are affecting your present and ultimately your future. For example, are you bitter about a past relationship? Until you can forgive the person that caused the bitterness, those feelings can leak into a new relationship, causing it to turn sour.

Perhaps the issues of your past have nothing to do with the people you have encountered. It could be that as a child you were overweight, too short or too tall, or generally felt awkward and now as an adult, you still feel as if you were that child that didn’t fit in. Understanding why you feel that way is an important step, not only in knowing who you are, but in becoming comfortable with yourself.

Knowing yourself also means that while you realize you aren’t perfect, you basically like yourself and you are comfortable with the person that you have become. People that truly know who they are understand the balance between knowing their faults, so they may work on them, and beating themselves up over faults only they see.

If you aren’t satisfied with your inner or outer person, chances are, you won’t enjoy the experience of dating. As you take the time to get to know yourself, figure out the things that you like about you. Make a list of all the things about yourself that you are proud of and concentrate on letting those aspects of your personality, character, and being shine through to everyone that you meet.

Dating involves sharing yourself with another person, so you want to share the best possible person that you can be. As you begin to learn who you are, determine the things about yourself that you want to improve. Perhaps you are impatient, not always careful with your spending, or quick to say something without thinking it through. These are traits you can work on, but only if you realize that they exist. Taking the time to get to know yourself will help you to determine if there are areas of your personality or character that you should work to improve.

Knowing yourself also means you know what you like and what you don’t like. Having an understanding of what you like and dislike in life will help you to figure out what type of person you are looking for. Figuring out your likes and dislikes can be about surface things as simple as realizing that you are a morning person, you dislike a certain type of music, or you adore sushi. It can also take a more complex turn as you discover that you like to spend some time alone, or you enjoy being the center of attention, or you like to be in charge of every situation in your life.

Knowing who you are is one step in preparing to enter a healthy relationship. Just because you become half of a couple, doesn’t mean that you let go of the unique individual that you are. Rather it means blending the attributes of two individuals into an exciting partnership. Understanding who you are will help bring your relationship unequaled fulfillment.

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Put Yourself First!Alice McCall

What is your immediate reaction to the statement “put yourself first”? My reaction is, “It sounds selfish.” Upon further reflection, however, it isn’t selfish. It’s smart! Let’s face it, if you do not take care of yourself and put yourself first, who will?

It is not your purpose or responsibility to take care of others, make decisions for them, tell them what to do, or change them. That is their responsibility – their life. Each of us are called upon to take care of our self, change and evolve our self, remember whom we are, and create the highest idea of yourself in each moment.

Neal Walsh, Conversations with God, writes, “The most loving person is the person who is self centered.” I am sure this might shock some of you. However, the reality is that if you cannot love yourself, you cannot truly love another. Your first relationship must be with yourself!

Let’s take a closer look at a few practical applications.

In a prior career, I used to spend all of my energy on my job - supporting my employees, doing the annual budget, negotiating business, etc. In the mean time, my personal bills, legal documents, and support system were never considered a priority. What happened? Eventually everything started to go awry in the personal department. I even missed a communication that cost me lots of money! I realized the hard way, if I don't take care of my self and my life, including pampering me, who will? Putting yourself first is the most important job you have. It includes your health, exercise routine, eating habits, finances, spiritual growth and development, and importantly your relationship with you. This is first, above all else. Your family, your friends, and your obligations should always take a back seat to taking care of your life.

Ouch! I know that might sound awful. However, I am not saying family is not important. They are very important, but not to the point where you put yourself last! If you are not healthy, energized, and centered, what good are you to your family anyway?

It is not one versus the other. Putting yourself first does not mean it is all about you. It means you consciously choose to do what is best for you. That is not selfish - it is smart!

It means consciously rescheduling planned time with a friend, when your body is telling you that you need down time. It means waking up early to create time for a brisk walk, some quiet meditation time with God, or a healthy breakfast, before you start your normal morning routine. It means taking the time to get to know yourself, listen to your self, and use the wisdom gained in the process as your compass.

Neal Walsh, Conversations with God writes, “The highest choice at any moment is that which

produces the highest good for you.” Why is this so? When made, the highest good for you becomes the highest good for everyone. What you do for self, you do for another.

The Celtic Runes state that ‘The starting point for all is the self.’ Its essence is comparable to water. A correct relationship to your self is primary and from it flows all relationships with others along with the Divine. The first counsel written over the temple of Delphi was, “Know thyself.”

I have gone through an evolution in my life from being a doormat to consciously choosing in each moment what is best for me. I can honestly say that my relationships now are healthier; I am more at ease with others and myself; and people like me for me, even though I put myself first!

The sacred Hindu text, the Bhagavad Gita says it well in Chapter 6, verse 5, “For the Self is the self’s only friend, and the self is the Self’s only foe.”

Think about it. What is that you are being and becoming in each moment? Are you your friend or are you your foe? Think about you. It’s the healthy choice. I invite you to honor and love yourself this month by consciously choosing what is best for you each day.

What is Vocation?Katrina Messenger

Vocation at its core is a divine summons. The divine calls to each of us in our own unique way; it calls us to manifest the very purpose of our life. It is the proverbial wake up call to get on with it already. It is a call to participate fully in life. It is a call to purpose. Yes, purpose; we each have a reason we are here. And vocation is the call to get on with the purpose of very lives.

We each bring with us into this weary world, a unique jewel to be discovered, polished and shared. We each are like beautifully wrapped parcels that are just waiting to be opened. This gift, this jewel, is our vocation. You see we each have a special role to play in the tending and blossoming of human life.

But all too often, we are discouraged from pursuing our gifts. We are born into a world that seems to spend most of its time putting barriers in front of us, or blinders on us, that it is often a struggle just to survive. And even if we can get past all the obstacles placed in front of us like race, class, gender, religion, orientation, caste, physical ability, and national origin, we still need to face our own inner barriers. We still have to face our own beliefs about vocation.

Mistaken beliefs about vocation

1. Some believe that, in order to have a vocation, one must have an attraction for it. There are some, however, who do not have the attraction and yet have the vocation. And there are others who desire a vocation and yet, quite clearly, are far from having one, because they do not have the

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required dispositions.

2. Others imagine that one must one day hear a little voice inside which says: “Come!”

3. Still others believe that each person is called only to one vocation. There was a priest who was not able to continue with being a monk because of poor health, but who became a very holy parish priest, a holy country pastor, and who died with a true renown for sanctity.

4. There are some vocations which require health or intelligence beyond the norm. Alternately, there are vocations which, in requiring a great love of God, can befit a candidate with delicate health or no instruction (e.g. the humble dominican lay brother and porter who became St. Martin de Poress).

In acknowledging one’s true vocation, we can find both purpose and meaning. And we need not sacrifice our talents or our connections to life.

What Does it Mean to Say that God is Calling Me?Fr. Warren Sazama S.J.

We often hear it said that we all have a vocation--but what is a vocation anyway? I've thought a lot about this question since I've been vocation director. It's not a "thing" inside of us. Nor is it a "thing" outside of us that we search to find as on a treasure hunt. Sure, it means "God's call" to us, but that's merely a translation of the Latin root vocare, "to call". In trying to understand what a vocation truly is or what we're actually doing when we search to discover our vocation in life, it might be helpful to look at two extreme positions. As my novice director used to tell us, the truth is often somewhere in the middle.

Extreme measures

One extreme position is that God has a blueprint for each of us. To discover our vocation in life is to figure out and follow that blueprint. If we deviate from God's plan for us, we deviate from God's will, and we're lost. Most of us today see this model for understanding one's vocation in life as a bit rigid and implausible.

The other extreme is that God's call to all of us is the same--to be united with God and to use our gifts in service of our neighbor. The particulars of how we do this are up to us. In this view, God doesn't really care how we do it as long as we do it. This view makes God rather remote and unin-volved, almost uncaring. This is certainly not the God in the Judeo-Christian scripture who is personally active in our lives and our history.

A middle view comes out of my Jesuit, Ignatian tradition, which sees God as actively and personally

involved in each of our lives. God speaks to us directly in our hearts, minds, and souls through our thoughts and feelings, and through our inner movements and desires. However, not all of our inner thoughts, movements, and desires come from God. Therefore we have to discern which are from God and which are not. God is engaged in a lifelong dialog with us. Our role in the dialog is to pay attention, listen, and try to respond. In this Ignatian view we discover what God is calling us to by paying attention to what gives us the most life, energy, and joy. Where do your interests lie and how will you order your life to pursue these interests. Some might have a passion for art or science and a deep desire to be married and have children. Others may want to teach or act and find that their passions may best be met in the context of religious life or the priesthood.

God speaks through our experiences

So a vocation is literally "God's call," a call that we hear by listening to God's voice within us as God speaks through our inner and outer experiences. Listening to God's call is an interactive process--a dialog--between God and us.

If we look at the major, archetypal calls in scripture, we see this pattern borne out. Whether it is Abraham, Moses, Samuel, Jeremiah, Mary, Jesus, or Peter, they all somehow hear God's voice, often in the interior of their hearts and sometimes through external experiences. Regardless of how they hear God's voice, each of these models from scripture eventually responds generously and openly. After a time, their calls seem obvious and literally define who they are. But this is not the case initially.

At first each one responds with confusion and doubt. Each one's first reaction is a variation on "Not me, Lord!" "I'm too young" (Jeremiah) or "I have a stutter" (Moses) or "I'm too sinful" (Peter and Isaiah) or "I haven't had sex, so how can I bear a son?" (Mary). But as they try to listen attentively and respond generously and openly, they eventually discover what God is calling them to. And the more deeply they respond over time, the clearer their sense of having been called becomes. They develop a genuine, profound sense of vocation.

So when we say that we all have a vocation in life, what this means is that God speaks to each of us in a personal way and has a preference for us. If we listen and respond, we grow to possess a sense of clarity about what our vocation in life is.

It's a truly wonderful, joyful experience to grow aware in this way. At the same time, it's important to remember that one's initial intuition about a vocation rarely is accompanied by much peace and clarity. Usually it is accompanied by doubt and confusion--perhaps even anxiety. Staying faithful to the conversation with God in time brings a growing sense of clarity about what's right for you--what will bring you peace and joy.

If you're presently discerning your calling and are experiencing uncertainty, trust that God is speaking to you and that, if you try to listen and respond, you'll find your way. Enjoy the journey. May God bless your every step!

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Vocation and Recognizing the Callhttp://www.catholicvocation.org.au/

A vocation is God's unique invitation, addressed to individual persons in which a free response is expected. This response is not a single act, but a life-long process, a journey of faith. We do not "have" a vocation; we discover how we "are" our vocation as we journey through life led by the Spirit. An individual discovers their vocation at various stages of life and in relationship with others:

when a person is loved and appreciated by others,

when the person is attracted by the example of others,

when the person becomes aware of the needs of others,

when the person prays and meditates on the word of God.

As baptised Christians each of us is called to assist others to discover their vocation as we have been assisted on our faith journeys. Each of us is called to help make others aware of their personal richness, talents and human value, opening their eyes to the variety of lifestyles and then ministries within the Church.

We are to assist the young and the not so young in their search for who it is God wants them to be; to walk with them in faith, to pray with them, to guide them, to help them become aware of God's loving presence in their personal history in order that they might respond to the will/yearning of God in their own regard.

By whom am I called?

To whom must I ultimately submit my life? Who is this One who invites me into a loving relationship and calls me to be transformed in that love? What does this relationship mean for my life now and in the future? Or, put more simply, who is God and what place does God have in my life?

To what am I called?

What lifestyle and word best facilitate my vocation? What concrete circumstances in life should I choose - in so far as that it is reasonable and possible - to promote this loving relationship? To what extent does my current lifestyle reflect an awareness of vocation?

What are its levels?

There are three levels of Vocation Ministry in the model that is used widely in the church today. Some of us are concerned with all three, others with one or two levels, depending upon our own

ministry at the moment, lifestyle and interest.

General Vocation Ministry - fostering a sense of service to others and by our example providing models of adult Christian behaviour. This is based upon the understanding that there is a universal call to holiness by virtue of our Baptism and Confirmation and that our role in the world and the church cannot be replaced.

Particular Vocation Ministry - acknowledgment that we are all called to a particular style of loving as in marriage, religious life, single life or priesthood. Our task here and more especially the Catholic Vocations Centre, is to act as a resource, a clearing house for anyone looking at any of these particular expressions of response to the call of God. The Christian community in its entirety is responsible for the awakening, the discerning and the fostering of various vocations to the priesthood, the religious life and the active Christ-life for all age groups.

Specific Vocation Ministry - some individuals are called to very specific and unique expressions of single, married, religious or priestly life. It is normal for any congregation / diocese to make itself known and to encourage vocations to the specific group.

"Scripture narrates the history of salvation as a history of vocations, in which the Lord's initiative and people's response have become intertwined. In fact every vocation is born from the meeting of two freedoms: the divine and the human: Every vocation is a personal and unique event, but also a community and ecclesial event. No one is called to walk alone." (Pope John Paul II, World Day of Prayer for Vocations, 1997)

Recognizing the Call

As in the past, God is calling people today. Throughout history, many have been called. They have lived exemplary lives and have extended the mission of Jesus Christ around the world. There are many heroic stories in every age. Yet, today it is harder then in the past to discover God's call. There are so many valuable ways that you can choose to live your life. There are so many distractions that make it hard to hear God's voice. Discerning a vocation is a challenge, no doubt about it. It can be especially tough today because others, even parents and friends, may not be encouraging or supportive. In the world of the Third Millennium, many are hungry to find greater meaning in life, eager to discover some purpose for their life. But God is calling you.

Five Moments of Discernment

1. When discerning a vocation there is always a confusion of options. Many things interest us.

Suggestion: root out any interests that are "bad" or not of God, then with the remaining good choices, seek out your dominant interest and pursue it.

2. The decision making process is a complicated matter. There are many "layers" of decisions

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that must be looked at. At the same time there are clues, "signs" that are present to us.

Suggestion: follow the leads that are present.

3. There is very often uncertainty in the discernment process. At any one point in time we only see partial glimpses, not the whole picture, therefore uncertainty exists.

Suggestion: trust what is deepest in your heart.

4. In discernment your decision will always meet a certain amount of inner resistance. Resistance is a good sign. There is always risk when a person makes significant decisions in his life. A person must have sufficient love in his heart to take a significant risk.

Suggestion: reflect on what is the source of love in your heart, where it is leading you, and how deeply it is present.

5. When discerning your vocation, the road ahead will always remain a bit foggy. You probably will not know with absolute certainty what lies ahead. The future will always remain a bit hidden. Mystery and the unknown are part of everyone's future.

Suggestion: take one step at a time. don't try to "figure out" in exact detail your entire future.

What is a Vocation?Fr. Len Altilia, S.J.

After several years in vocation ministry, I reflect back the experience and realize that it has been very blessed. It has filled me with life and with hope for the future of the Church, for the future of religious life and priesthood in the Church, and for the future of the Society of Jesus. There are a lot of wonderful people out there who are searching with honesty and generosity to discover how they can best serve God and God’s people.

But I have also become aware of the confusion that exists about just what a vocation is. Is it a direct ‘calling’ from God? Is it like a career? How do I know if I have a vocation? What does it feel like? If I think I have a vocation, what should I do about it? These, and others like them, are all questions that I hear in conversations with people, especially young people. So here is my attempt to offer some clarification about the nature of vocation and ‘what it feels like’.

The first and most important point is that every Christian has a vocation that comes from our baptism. We are called, by virtue of the life in Christ that was given to us through the waters of baptism and the anointing with oil, to proclaim the name of Jesus and to share the Good News of salvation.

God raised him high and gave him the name that is above all other names so that all beings... should bend the knee at the name of Jesus and that every tongue should acclaim Jesus Christ as Lord, to the glory of God. (Phil. II, 9-11) We are all called, by virtue of our baptism, to live a life that expresses the love of God made manifest in Jesus Christ. “Love one another as I have loved you.” (Jn. XV, 12) Thus, we all share this common vocation as members of the community of faith that professes Jesus Christ as Lord.

Each of us has a unique way of living that common Christian vocation, particularized as it is by our personality, our experience, our unique configuration of strengths and weaknesses, of talents and limitations. But, just how do I go about discovering my unique vocation? Or, as it is sometimes asked, how do I know what God wants me to do, what God’s will is for me? Phrasing the question this way can give the mistaken and misleading impression that there is a divine plan for us hidden in God’s mind and that we are on some sort of ‘treasure hunt’ to find that hidden plan.

What, in fact, God wants for us and from us is very simple: to live the Gospel in our daily life, to be faithful witnesses of God’s love, and to serve God’s people with generosity and compassion (Mt.25). It is up to us to determine how we can best do that, how we can cooperate with God’s love and God’s life within us most generously, most honestly, most authentically. Given this understanding, we can say that our vocation is not something outside of ourselves that we have to search for, as if it were a hidden treasure. Rather it is something within us that we can discover by understanding ourselves, our life, our experience and most especially our experience of God.

To put it another way, the story of our vocation is woven into the fabric of our life. By reading our life story from a faith perspective, we can discover how God has been at work within our ordinary experience, how God’s love has been mediated to us through others, how God’s grace has affirmed certain aspects of our personality and certain talents, how God’s presence has been with us in our various experiences. As we trace the thread of God’s presence in our life we can begin to see the direction that our life should take if it is to be faithful to this personal experience of God that is unique to each of us, yet consistent with the experience of our faith community.

For the largest percentage of Christians, that direction leads to the choice of marriage and family life, the most common vocation. For some it leads to the decision to remain single. For others it leads to the choice to serve God’s people in ordained ministry. And for still others it results in the decision to consecrate their life to God by vows of poverty,chastity and obedience. (These last two are what most people mean when they use the word ‘vocation’.)

Whatever form your vocation takes, it only makes sense if it emerges from your personal experience of God, from the on-going relationship between you and God that has been part of your life experience. Finding your vocation means finding the most authentic, faithful and honest way of living that relationship, of honouring the truth of God in you.

Obviously this means that the process of discovering your vocation is a spiritual process, not simply a rational evaluation of options. Therefore, it requires that you pray, both to know and recognize

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God in your life, and more importantly to deepen your personal relationship with God. Through prayer let God become your close, personal, intimate friend, and out of that friendship will emerge the understanding of the path your life should follow.

If that path points in the direction of priesthood and/or religious life, don’t be afraid to follow it. If this is the best way for you to express the truth of your relationship with God, your choice will be blessed by joy and consolation. That doesn’t mean there won’t be struggles and challenges, but you will find, as you engage those struggles and challenges, that God’s grace and love sustain and support you. The more faithful we are to God, the more freely and generously we cooperate with God’s grace and love, the more joy we find in our life.

How Do I Know God’s Will For Me?Fr. Paul Boudreau

One of these days they're going to develop a technology that will answer the question, "What is God's will for me?" Wouldn't that be great? Imagine your cell phone going off and there's "Will of God" in the caller ID window. Or maybe a text message or an IM. Isn't there a blog or chat room somewhere called "God's Will"? Can we find a will of God video on YouTube?

God knows we're looking everywhere. Finding the will of God is really important for those of us who love the Lord and want to live our lives according to God's purpose for us. "Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother" (Mark 3:35). That's the people we want to be.But without an email from "[email protected]" we're left to our own devices. Looking over our resources, however, we find a great deal that will help us.

We have the Bible, the Word of God that "was written for our instruction, so that by steadfastness and by the encouragement of the scriptures we might have hope"(Romans 15:4). We have the teaching of the church, the tradition of wisdom handed down through the ages that tells us, "By prayer we can discern ‘what is the will of God’ and obtain the endurance to do it" (Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 2826). And we have our own personal history that we can look back on and see the will of God being done in our lives. Now, can you beat that?

God's will in the Bible

Saint Paul writes in Ephesians 1:9 that God "has made known to us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure that he set forth in Christ." Well, that's pretty cool. In other words, we already know the will of God. It is spoken somewhere deep within us, in the hidden part of our hearts where God is known and encountered. It is where God's love is generated in us, in our strongest desires, where we go in prayer, where we know what is good and right for us.

When I was a young man, a whole lot younger than I am now, I wanted so badly to serve God in my life. But I really didn't know how to do it. I remember spending hours in prayer, yearning for God,

wanting so much to know God's will for me. I begged and pleaded with God to show me the way. All I got was silence. I didn't know at the time that silence was the voice of God speaking more deeply in me than my ears could hear.

But from those long nights crying out to God, a direction came in my life. I wanted billboards saying, "Walk this way," but instead I got subtle urgings. An opportunity arose here, a door opened there, something I read interested me, a conversation with a friend piqued my curiosity. Little by little I was encouraged in small ways to become what God was calling me to be. The results often surprised me and sometimes alarmed me, but I was always fulfilled by where God was leading me.

God's will in the church

When we invest ourselves fully in the life of the church, through prayer, through studying the Bible, through participating in devotions, and especially through the celebration of the Eucharist, we are constantly being formed in the will of God through faith.

But faith isn't enough, for "faith apart from works is barren" (James 2:20). We need to practice our faith. When we are encouraged to do something good or are tempted to do something bad; when our thoughts, words, and deeds are challenged to fulfill what is right, those are the opportunities we have to follow the will of God. "Do not be conformed to this world," says Saint Paul in Romans 12:2, "but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

When I was searching for my vocation in Christ, I didn't belong to a church. I read the Bible and thought a lot about God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit, but I really didn't have a community of faith. Nor did I practice my faith in worship. I felt a little adrift and couldn't quite get my mind on a clear direction. But when I started going back to church, the vision of my life began to clarify. " ‘If any one is a worshiper of God and does his will, God listens to him.’ Such is the power of the Church's prayer in the name of her Lord, above all in the Eucharist" (Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 2827).

God's will in our personal history

It really is a challenge to see God's will for our future. But looking back on our lives, it's not hard to see God working through everything we experience, the good and the bad.

We think sometimes that God only sticks around for the good things we do, and the evidence of God's blessing is our success. But that's not true. God is always with us, through the crooked ways and the straight, the successes and the failures. Saint Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 12 about the burden of his human weaknesses, and then concludes in verse 10 that he is content with his weakness for the sake of Christ, because "whenever I am weak, then I am strong." It is Christ who bears the cross of our human weaknesses, and carries the burden of our mistakes, suffering and dying for our sins. Yet he rises again to continue the journey with us. So that now "all things work for

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good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).

Being a priest is my second career. My first career, my profession for 10 years before I entered seminary and got ordained, was racing motorcycles. Was this God's will for me? Well, I certainly didn't consult with God when I decided to go motocross racing. But looking back, I believe it became God's will for me. It was where I learned the joy of life and the thrill of the extreme. I was just following my happiness, seeking to fulfill the desire of my heart. It led me to God.

It says in the Catechism of the Catholic Church that people have a "natural desire for happiness. This desire is of divine origin: God has placed it in the human heart in order to draw man to the One who alone can fulfill it" (no. 1718). That's pretty cool, too. It means the good desires in your heart and mine are from God. They're put there to guide us to God, where they can be fulfilled. You want to know God's will for you? Look in your heart. What is your true desire? Follow that desire; do what you love.

That can mean a lot of things. Do you want to go to medical school? Do it. You want to be a teacher? Do it. You want to be a figure skater? Do it. You want learn Chinese? Do it. You want to join the army? Do it. You want to become a priest or religious sister or brother? Do it. Doing your heart’s desire while keeping close to God in prayer and while staying connected to the church will lead you to God, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

One of the hardest parts about doing God's will is that you sometimes have to go against the will of the ones you love, like your parents or your friends. Even the best parents have agendas for their children. My parents wanted me to become a professional in some field, but I can assure you, it wasn't motocross. And when I informed my friends that I was going to become a priest, they thought I was crazy. But I believed that it was God's will for me, and I did it. And believe me, I couldn't be happier.

Nine Ways to Open up God's Will for YouFr. Michael Scanlan, T.O.R

I've been a vocation counsellor for 35 years, and these days I meet regularly with more than a dozen people of all ages and walks of life. Every person and every situation is different, but I've discovered nine basic steps that keep me and those I talk with moving toward positive and faithful life decisions. I try to assure people who bring a difficult decision to me that they will be able to now, in their deepest being, in their heart of hearts, what God is calling them to do. Many people are not sure they will ever know God's will or, if they do, that this knowledge will necessarily bring them peace.

1. Use your mind

I advise people that in the ordinary course of events they can use their minds to reach conviction in

their hearts. We'll often read the beginning of Paul's Letter to the Romans, chapter 12: "I urge you, therefore . . . by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect" (Rom. 12:1-2).

We talk about renewing the mind--centering the intellect and the will totally on God and what God wants for us. I like to quote scripture to reinforce this point, including the greatest commandment: "Love the Lord your God with your whole heart, your whole mind and with all your strength; and love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:30-31).

2. Look at the options

I ask people what they think God wants them to do. If they present alternate possibilities, I ask which one they are inclined to think is God's will. From students and younger people, the possibilities I hear most frequently are: Should I marry? Should I break up with the person I'm dating? Should I change my course of study in school? Should I spend my summer in volunteer missionary work, or should I take a job at home? Should I room with these particular people? Should I direct my future career into work for the church? Should I be a priest or a sister?

From recent graduates and older people I hear: Is God calling me to move and change my job? Should I go back to school? I thought I was called to marriage, but it's been a long time and I haven't found anyone to marry. Should we adopt children? Should I join a lay community or apostolate? How do I deal with my strong attraction to the married person at work who seems to be flirting with me?

3. What does God want?

Most Christians follow God's commandments and the teachings of the church. Indeed, the question is usually, "What does God want?" Seldom will a proposed course of action be inconsistent with what God wants. However, a careful review of the priorities involved in the person's state of life will frequently cast a helpful, new light on the proposed decision or change. Such statements as "I am first called to be a wife and mother" or "My first priority as a priest is to serve the people God has given me" will clarify the matter if a new direction threatens to undermine these commitments or make fulfilling them more difficult.

We might also review secondary commitments such as "God has called me to be a teacher" or "My main service to the church is in the area of respect for life." Deeply held commitments of this kind lay a foundation for future actions.

4. Will it help conversion of heart?

The key to discerning a specific vocational call is conversion. Our response to vocation involves

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converting our life more deeply and fully to the Lord. The call to religious life means a special call of service and self-surrender. The call to marriage always means conversion to a life centered on a spouse and possibly children. Being "in love" is important but not sufficient. Marriage, as well as the religious vocation, involves a commitment to the loving service of others.

In talking about conversion, we'll examine the person's spiritual history of turning away from sin and growing in love of God. We consider how the proposed action fits into this history. Will it bring the person closer to God and a life of virtue, or will it lead him or her further away? We look at how it will change supportive relationships. Will it be easier or more difficult to practice the disciplines of a spiritual life, such as regular prayer, participating in Mass and other sacraments, sharing faith with others, and having spiritual directors and models of holiness?

Sometimes the process of discernment will end here, when it appears that a proposed decision will make it harder for the person to grow in holiness. After going through this review, people sometimes will say, "I can see now that the Lord doesn't want me to do this; this isn't right for me." (More often, however, this conclusion comes after the next step--consistency.) At the same time, a new direction that involves considerable additional responsibility should not be ruled out simply because it might raise new temptations and challenges. Perhaps meeting and overcoming new challenges is precisely what's needed for the next stage of your spiritual growth.

5. Is it consistent with the way God has dealt with me before?

The discussion moves to consistency: How has God led you to this point? The difference between the conversion and consistency is often blurred. In both we're discerning a pattern of spiritual growth. Does the plan under consideration fit in? Can you see your life leading to this point? Do you have the time, energy, and resources to fulfill more demanding commitments?

Sometimes we understand our vocational call only when we meet the people we would like to spend our lives with. In any case, the call will be consistent with what has gone on before in our lives. Sometimes we know we are called to marriage or the religious life long before we find someone we would like to marry or a religious order we would like to enter.

The consistency of the vocation will be tested over a period of time. A couple will go through years of acquaintance and courtship to discern their vocation. People discerning religious vocations will spend years in seminary and formation before making vows for life. We say that married people are "made for each other." We say that priests and nuns and brothers "have a vocation."

The same is true for vocations to the single life. Many people are called to actively embrace singleness in order to care for family members, join a lay apostolate, or lead some other life of service. There must be consistency between the service, the person, and the call to singleness, just as there must be conformity to the gospel and an awareness of how the call will lead to greater conversion and union with God.

As you discern a life vocation, it's important to live consistently. You should start living now what you believe is your vocation. Eliminate the contradictions. As a decision about marriage approaches, both partners will stop dating other people and devote their attention exclusively to each other. Men and women might date in the early stages of thinking about a religious vocation. But as they move toward a decision, however, it's important to begin to live the celibate call, without romantic relationships.

6. What confirms the wisdom of the proposed action?

Usually people tell me several ways that their course of action appears to be confirmed. Friends will endorse it. Circumstances will change in surprising ways to make the act possible. They may have detected special spiritual signs that seem to affirm it. A life vocation is a two-way street. In large decisions--marriage, religious vocation--the confirmation of another party is required. Two parties, not one, make marriage vows. The religious community, as well as the individual, assents to a call to a religious vocation.

The lack of a confirming invitation can cause great anguish. Lovers say their hearts are broken when their love is not reciprocated. The same thing happens to people who think they have a call to the religious life. The call to a religious vocation is mutual. Both the individual and the church must hear it.

Because the mutuality of a religious vocation is often less well understood than the mutuality of marriage, I'd like to say a bit more about it. Dealing with the church can be difficult. But the church is the institution established to carry out the Lord's work--including the work of discerning vocations to the religious life. God became human. He entered into human life. He works through limited, flawed, and sometimes erring human beings and human institutions.

You may encounter problems in this discussion of the confirmation of your vocation. What does it mean when the signs are negative while the disposition of your heart is positive? Parents and family are opposed, circumstances seem to block action, but you still think the proposed course is the right one. Is this a question of timing, should the whole matter be reexamined, or should the signs be disregarded?

"A LIFE VOCATION is a two-way street. In large decisions--marriage, religious vocation--the confirmation of another party is required." What is the relative importance of confirming signs--or the lack of them? How important is the approval of others? What does it mean when it looks very easy, or very difficult, to implement the decision? Be careful not to let the discussion of these complexities overwhelm the discernment process. Difficulties tend to become more complex the longer they are discussed. Move quickly to conviction of the heart. This is decisive.

It is often helpful to write down the most important items of confirmation--or lack of it. In fact, it is usually a good idea to summarize the conclusions you reach at each stage of the discernment process for later prayerful consideration.

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7. Interpret spiritual signs

Signs have their place. Signs appear frequently in scripture. "And this will be a sign for you: You will find an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger," the angel told the shepherds (Luke 2:12). Gideon repeatedly prayed for signs that God wanted him to lead his small force against a greater army. Jesus' miracles were signs of the coming of the kingdom of God. At the same time, St.Paul explicitly warns against relying on signs rather than on faith in God (1 Cor. 1:22).

In my experience, a person's account of spiritual signs is more useful as confirmation of the desire in the person's heart than as a confirming sign in itself. Often, the individual is fully convinced that he or she should go ahead; the spiritual signs are incidental or ambiguous points of confirmation.

8. What does your heart say?

Conviction is decisive. What do you sense about the moral certainty of the rightness of your call? I'll talk with people about their deepest values and desires. "Ask yourself this: Putting aside all other considerations, including difficulties in implementation and other complexities, do you believe that this is the right thing to do? When you prayerfully think about going ahead with this, do you experience a deep 'yes,' a release and a pouring out, or do you experience hesitation and deep uncertainty?"

The standard of moral certainty is high in commitments such as marriage and religious vocation where the commitment is for life and time is not a great factor. The standard of the conviction of rightness is lower in matters where you have to choose the best of several alternatives in a certain period of time. In these cases, moral certainty is a practical conclusion that this is the right course of action, as far as I can see at this point, as a Christian who follows the Lord.

9. Pray

The key to obtaining conviction is prayer. The Lord himself--through the Holy Spirit's action and presence--is the source of true conviction. We all need to pray daily for God to lead us in obedience and faithfulness.

Discerners need patience. Ultimately, neither you nor the rules are in charge. Courtships can be lengthy. Religious vocations can take a long time to unfold. There can be false starts. The process of making a life commitment is easily described, but it's messy and imperfect in reality. We are dealing with sinners, not angels. The man and woman at the altar are two imperfect people exchanging vows of love and faithfulness. Every religious community and parish is populated by people marred by sin. We shouldn't look for the perfect spouse or the perfect community. Even if we found the perfect partner, the marriage wouldn't be perfect after we joined it.

Those in discernment will change. Those who are too rigorous, legalistic, rigid, and set on things

being a certain way will learn to adapt and be flexible. Those who like things to be loose and informal, never settled, will learn the benefits of discipline and structure. Those who escape into the spiritual to avoid the natural and the physical will learn how to embrace the messiness of real life. Those who are too cautious and careful will learn how to leap ahead with God's call. Risk-takers will learn the skills of caution and reflective deliberation.

Our life vocation is a treasure buried in a field, the pearl of great price. The grace is in the calling. Pursue it at whatever the cost.

Paths of Love: The Discernment of VocationJoseph Bolin

There are two basic ways for a Christian to choose a path in life. He can begin by reflecting on his goal in life, and think about what will be most helpful in reaching that goal, or he can ask himself what God wants him to do with his life. These approaches are different and complementary, yet only rarely do vocational books take into account these two fundamentally different approaches.

This article aims to examine these two basic approaches to the question of vocation, the advantages and the potential dangers of each approach, and to propose a simple look at vocations which seeks to preserve the benefits of each approach.

Unlike most other articles on vocations, it is neither a theological treatise directed to intellectuals, nor a vocational guidebook, consisting primarily of detailed practical advice on choosing one’s vocation. Rather, this book seeks to give a deep, yet simple and accessible perspective on vocation, both to individuals discerning their vocation, and to spiritual directors who guide others in their vocation, so that on the basis of this solid foundation, they may be capable of forming good judgments in whatever particular situations they are dealing with.

Whatever approach we take to vocation, the focus of our attention must be love.

Each and every vocation must be centered around love, because it is through love that we are united with God, who is love, and in whom all human life finds its fulfillment. Our life will therefore be more perfect, to the extent that our love is greater. The fundamental requirement for living in love is that we keep the commandments. As St. John says, “this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments.” (1 John 5:3) In addition to the commandments, we are given the counsels, which are meant as helpful means for growing in love.

But love itself must always remain the standard by which our choices are measured. The decisive factor in our vocation is our dedication to pursuing constant growth in love. The intensity and steadfastness of our resolve to pursue holiness using the means we choose, is of greater importance than the means that we choose. It is better, for example, to seek holiness in marriage wholeheartedly, than to seek holiness in religious life halfheartedly. Yet given an equal dedication

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on our part, we will grow in love more surely and rapidly if we live in a manner that is in itself more suited to growing in love, as for example, by living the life of the evangelical counsels.

When it comes to choosing the particular path in life that will be most conducive to love, St. Thomas’ approach is to think about the objective goodness and possibility of the way of life in question. He says, for example, that it is unnecessary to think for a long time before deciding to enter religious life, because “it is certainly better,” and “because those who enter religious life do not rely upon their own strength,”1 but look to God for the strength needed to live it.

To the objection that one must discern whether one’s intention to enter religious life is from God, St. Thomas responds that if one’s desire is sincere, then since it is for something good, it is certainly from God. It does not matter whether God is the immediate source of the movement, or employs instruments to draw someone to religious life. Even if the devil himself were the immediate source of this desire, the desire itself would be good, and would be ultimately from God.

St. Teresa of Avila in her own life acted according to these principles of St.Thomas. She saw what was better, and determined to do it. “Though I did not succeed to incline my will to being a nun, I saw that this was the best and safest state, and so, little by little, I determined to force myself to embrace it.” She goes on to say how God rewards such “violence” (Cf. Mat 11:12) with oneself. “When I took the habit, the Lord soon made me understand how greatly he favors those who use force with themselves in serving him.”

In contrast to St. Thomas, St. Ignatius of Loyola primarily sees the issue as “seeking and finding the Divine Will.” Ignatius gives three “times” in which one may choose a state of life in accordance with the divine will: (1) When one has an immediate experience about which there can be no doubt as to its divine source, and which directs one to a state of life; (2) when by much experience and discernment of the working of the Holy Spirit, one perceives that the Spirit by its movement is inviting or drawing one to a state of life, or that the desire for a state of life originates from the Holy Spirit; (3) when, beginning from an attitude of detachment to all created goods, and if possible, with a preference for what in general conforms more to God’s will, one makes a prudent choice of a state of life as a means of serving God and saving one’s soul.

Each of these approaches has its own advantages and its own dangers. St. Thomas’ approach has the advantage of being more objective, and therefore less liable to deception, but also has the risk of being too abstract, and therefore too removed from one’s concrete and living relationship with God; St. Ignatius’ approach has the advantage of being more personal, but also carries the risk that a vocation will be seen as an obligatory burden imposed by God, rather than a free invitation to greater love. St. Alphonsus de Ligouri and Von Balthasar seem to make this mistake, due to overemphasizing the individual character of a vocation.

But though the two approaches have fundamental differences, they are ultimatelycompatible. On the one hand, it is “objectively” better to follow God’s will than our own. On the other hand, granting that we are seeking God’s will, we should recognize that there exist not only special, but also general,

objective indicators of God’s will. Thus St.Alphonsus, who adopts the general approach of St. Ignatius, does not see special signs of God’s will as being required for the one who desires to embrace religious life; he requires just two signs, which correspond to what St. Thomas requires: a good and firm intention, and the lack of impediments.

If we take the condition that one be free from impediments, and formulate it positively—one must be suited for the way of life—then we have the primary conditions that the Church requires for a vocation. The first of these two elements, the firm will and intention to live a particular state of life (assuming that the choice is legitimate and good in itself), is so essential to a vocation, that St. Francis de Sales goes so far as to say that such a firm will is a vocation. For the confirmation of a vocation, however, we still need a third condition, namely acceptance or approval by the Church. God does not call us to holiness simply as individuals, but as members of the Church, the Mystical Body of Christ. And for this reason, it is the task of the Church to test and to ratify a vocation, especially a vocation to the consecrated life or the priesthood.

The approaches of St. Thomas and St. Ignatius are not only theoretically compatible, but are united to some extent in Pope John Paul II’s outline of vocation. As the pope describes it, a vocation always begins with Christ, who comes in love to an individual person, leading him to search for a path in life by which to respond to that love. In prayerful dialog with Christ, this person then examines his personal circumstances, in order to find the path of life in which he can make the best gift of himself in love. This combined approach is perhaps the best way to think about vocation.

The final aim of our deliberation should be to make a response to God’s eternal love for us. For this reason, prior to “discerning” our vocation, or “deciding” on a state of life, we must strive above all to purify our heart, to truly love and to seek God above all and in all things, and to carry this attitude of love into our choice of a state of life. Only then should we set about using the gifts God has given us—our mind and heart—to make a decision about a state of life.

In this discernment of a vocation, one or the other element—the mind or the heart —may play a predominant role. We may make a decision primarily with the mind: after thinking about and reflecting on all the relevant factors, we may see what the best means is for practicing love and growing in it, and so choose that means. Or we may make a decision primarily with the heart: among several alternatives that would each be a good path for practicing love and growing in it, we may choose the alternative to which we are more inclined—not according to a quickly passing inclination, but a deep or abiding inclination, that is, according to true love.

As we reflect and choose a way of life, we should always bear in mind that the path we choose is in the end not a path of our own invention, but is part of God’s design; each of us is in a particular place in the world, so that we may choose a particular path to God. And so, after choosing a path for our life, we should gratefully give thanks to God for his love, and the opportunity and invitation to love him that he has offered to us.

A strong and firm intention ought to follow upon our choice; this strong intention will enable us to

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truly devote ourselves to the practice of love of God and neighbor in the way of life we choose, and to persevere in the face of the difficulties that arise. This firm intention for the service of God in a way of life usually produces an inner peace. And so the possession of peace in one’s heart in regard to a particular choice is a confirming sign of one’s vocation, and may even be called the sign of a vocation.

This intermediate approach is by no means the only sound approach to vocation. Between the way of proceeding presented by St. Thomas, and that presented by St.Ignatius, there are indeed many different ways that we may follow in making the choice of a way of life. What matters most is purifying our hearts, sincerely striving for an ever greater love, and while always being obedient to the teachings and precepts of the Church and observing Christian prudence, being at the same time open to the movements of the Holy Spirit, wherever he may lead us. Seeking and pursuing our vocation should be neither a mechanical nor an anxiety-filled procedure, but a living and joyful journey with God! “God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.” (1 John 3:20)

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