Habits, Practices and Rituals A Framework for Living Well

Canadian Positive Psychology Association July 18, 2014

Jan Stanley, MAPP jan.b.stanley@gmail.com

Aristotle’s metaphor:

We begin as a tiny acorn. Our purpose is to

develop ourselves and our lives to produce

our own best grand and beautiful oak tree.

“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation.

We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, we have

those because we have acted rightly.

We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” - Aristotle

Habits, Practices and Rituals A Framework for Living Well

•Why a framework? •What are HPR?

•How do we use HPR for living well?

Why a framework for living well?

What is a habit?

HABIT

A behavior repeated so

often as to become

automatic.

HABIT

A behavior repeated so

often as to become

automatic.

Wood, Quinn & Kashy 2002

“Repeated routine

behavior in the past is the best predictor of

behavior in the present.”

Little effort required!

HABIT

A behavior repeated so

often as to become

automatic.

•Examples • Morning meditation • Gratitude journal

• Exercise • Call a friend

Using habits strategically

Understand which actions

bring greater fulfillment,

then create habits to

ensure you do them

regularly.

Q: Which habits help my oak tree grow strong?

What is a practice?

A PRACTICE

Repeated performance of

related activities to acquire

or improve skills.

PRACTICE

Repeated performance of

related activities to acquire

or improve skills.

R. Davidson, 2014

“Well-being can be learned.

It’s very analagous to skills

training: It is through repeated

practice that connections get

established in the brain that

support the new skill.”

Living well is a set of skills!

PRACTICE

Repeated performance of

related activities to acquire or

improve skills.

PP Examples •Positive relationships

• Mindfulness • Gratitude •Optimism

Using practice strategically

Remaining self-

compassionate, ask what

skills would bring greater

fulfillment, then cultivate

them by creating

practices. Q: Which new or better skills would help my oak tree grow strongest?

What is a ritual?

RITUAL

Symbolic actions to

anchor experiences.

RITUAL

Symbolic actions to

anchor experiences.

Norton & Gino Norton, Yang & Vohs

Rituals lead to feelings

of control and increased involvement – enhanced experience.

Those who performed rituals felt better, too!

RITUAL

Symbolic actions to

anchor experiences.

PP Examples •Journal and pen • Meditation shawl • ACR happy dance

Using ritual strategically

Identify moments that

connect you to excellence

or purpose and create

rituals to anchor your

experience.

Q: What deep understanding would help my oak tree grow strongest?

RITUALS of Well Being

Symbolic actions

PRACTICES of Well Being

Repeated performance of

related activities

HABITS of Well Being

Automating behaviors

RITUALS of Well Being

Symbolic actions

To anchor and enhance

well being experiences

PRACTICES of Well Being

Repeated performance of

related activities

To learn and improve skills of

well being

HABITS of Well Being

Automating behaviors

To routinize well-being

related behaviors

RITUALS of Well Being

Symbolic actions

To anchor and enhance

well being experiences

Integration of experiences

with living well

PRACTICES of Well Being

Repeated performance of

related activities

To learn and improve skills of

well being

Enhanced skills for living well

HABITS of Well Being

Automating behaviors

To routinize well-being

related behaviors

Achieve benefits of regular

well being behaviors

RITUALS of Well Being

Symbolic actions

To anchor and enhance

well being experiences

Integration of actions with

living well

May expand awareness of

meaning in one’s life,

connect daily life to life

purpose and values, sense-

making.

PRACTICES of Well Being

Variety of activities with

shared intention

To learn and improve skills of

well being

Enhanced skills for living well

May have flow, positive

emotions, accomplishment.

“Learning to learn” carries to

other areas.

HABITS of Well Being

Automating behaviors

To routinize well-being related

behaviors

Achieve benefits of behaviors

repeated regularly

Can enhance self-regulation

ability, willpower not depleted

RITUALS of Well Being

Symbolic actions

To anchor and enhance

well being experiences

Integration of actions with

living well, constancy of

purpose

May enlarge awareness of

meaning in one’s life,

connect daily life to life

purpose and values, sense-

making.

EMBODY

PRACTICES of Well Being

Repeated performance of

related activities

To learn and improve skills of

well being

Enhanced character and skills

for living well

May have flow, positive

emotions, accomplishment.

“Learning to learn” carries to

other areas.

ENHANCE

HABITS of Well Being

Automating behaviors

To routinize well-being related

behaviors

Achieve benefits of regular

well being behaviors

Can enhance self-regulation

ability, willpower not depleted

HARDWIRE

Case Study: For the past few months, William’s energy has steadily declined. He began the year resolved to experience more joy in his life, not radically so, but enough to feel like he is fully alive and not just a slave to his job, household chores and family obligations. William is an architect, in a satisfying marriage with two school aged children. Habit: Practice: Ritual:

Case Study: For the past few months, William’s energy has steadily declined. He began the year resolved to experience more joy in his life, not radically so, but enough to feel like he is fully alive and not just a slave to his job, household chores and family obligations. William is an architect, in a satisfying marriage with two school aged children.

Habits: Morning run. Practice: Playfulness. Joining softball team and regular pick up games of basketball. Playing with children every day, even briefly. Finding ways to lighten the mood at work each week. Rituals: Silly selfie with kids each day after play, using photos to create a family calendar of fun.

Habit, practice or ritual?

Which activity?

Know what brings fulfillment? Make it a habit! Need to improve? Create a practice! Want to connect deeply? Design a ritual!

Sources of habit, practice and ritual ideas

Science

Self Society

The beauty of a framework

H P R

Who We Can Be What We Can Do Best future self Life purpose Excellence Goals & mission Virtue, strengths Career, lifework

Other People Matter Habits, practices and rituals?

Habits * * Practices * * Ritual *

HPR and Living Well

Well being activities can be habituated the way we spend our days the nature of our neurons and genetic expression Well being can be learned practices strengthens well being “muscles” Well being experiences can be anchored and enhanced ritual deepens and imprints our experiences

The consequence of forging life by purpose and resolution is a sense of inner harmony, a dynamic order in the contents of consciousness. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

CPPA Ritual Newton once said that his life has been spent collecting small rocks

of insight along the shore of the sea of truth.

To close this HPR session, I’d like you to think of ONE INSIGHT that you have gleaned from this workshop on Habits, Practices and

Rituals. Please write it down.

Stand by for further direction.

Sir Isaac Newton once said that his life had been spent collecting

pebbles of insight along the shore of the sea of truth.

Bruser, M. (1997). The art of practicing: A guide to making music from the heart. New York: Bell Tower. Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience. New York: HarperPerennial. Duhigg, C. (2012). The power of habit: Why we do what we do. New York: Random House. Greenberg, M. & Maymin, S. (2013). Profit from the positive: Proven leadership strategies to boost productivity and transform your business. New York: McGraw Hill. Grimes, R. (2014). The craft of ritual studies. New York: Oxford University Press. Hanson, R. (2013). Hardwiring happiness: The new brain science of contentment, calm and confidence. New York: Harmony. Kashdan, T. (2014, June 19). What is the simplest strategy to increase your well being? Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/curious/201406/what-is-the-simplest-strategy-increase-your-well-being Lyubormirsky, S. (2013). The myths of happiness: What should make you happy, but doesn’t, what shouldn’t make you happy, but does. New York: Penguin. Norton, Michael I., and Francesca Gino. (2014). Rituals alleviate grieving for loved ones, lovers, and lotteries. Journal of Experimental Psychology. (Forthcoming). Peterson, C. & Seligman, M. (2004). Character strengths and virtues: A handbook and classification. New York: Oxford University Press Ryan, R., Huta, V., & Deci, E. (2008). Living well: A self-determination theory perspective on eudaimonia. Journal of Happiness Studies (2008) 9:139-170. DOI 10.1007/s10902-006-9023-4 Salzberg, S. (2002). Loving kindness: The revolutionary art of happiness. Boston: Shambhala Press. Steger, M. F., Frazier, P., Oishi, S., & Kaler, M. (2006). The Meaning in Life Questionnaire: Assessing the presence of and search for meaning in life. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 53, 80-93. Vohs, K., Wang, Y., Gino, F., & Norton, M. Rituals enhance consumption. (2013). Psychological Science. DOI: 10.1177/0956797613478949 Wood, W., Quinn, J., & Kashy, D. (2002). Habits in everyday life: thought, emotion and action. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Dec;83(6): 1281-97.