GWT:Get With ThisLet’s talk writing strategy!

PROMPTToo many American high school students drop out of school. In our own state, parents, teachers, and school administrators are eager to find ways to encourage students to stay in school and complete their education. Think of reasons that students quit school and how high school dropouts could be prevented.

Write a speech that addresses the underlying causes of high dropout rates and encourages students in your community to stay in school. You will present your speech at the next school board meeting where the audience will also include parents and teachers.

BIG IDEA: Causes of dropouts LITTLE IDEA: Preventing dropouts

TAP it! TOPIC AUDIENCE PURPOSE

T: High school dropoutsA: School board members, parents, teachersP: Speech

Physically – effects of stress, depression on the body like weight gain, hair loss, pimples…

Academically – unable to do the work, lack of assistance from teachers, too much pressure to move at a quick pace, standards are too inaccessible, grading system is too inflexible, block schedule demands are too rigorous, frustrating – which can lead to boredom or giving up

Socially – not enough time in the day for students to socialize so they do it in class, too much peer pressure to not do well in school, too many other distractions on academics from a social standpoint so academics seem unimportant, lack of role models

Spiritually – sense of not knowing your morality, self, connection to something greater than the corporal word

Emotionally – stress, depression, maturity levels of students, unable to handle the demands of work, school, family, not caring/lack of motivation, inability to maturely connect school to a greater purpose

Financially – pressure of family demands, sometimes needing a second job more than an education,

5Ws and a H for your 3 PASSEFs Emotionally

Who: students, parents What: stress and depression (stats?) When: involved in Where: stress can be physically shown

(story?) Why: not mature enough to handle How: outbursts, isolation, apathy

First Paragraph

INTRODUCTION

Step One: Write a Claim! Look at your ideas…what is your BEST

one? What is DEBATABLE about it? Does it have

two sides? Is it more than just a basic fact? Big Idea = apathy causes dropouts; Little

Idea = prevention of apathy Debatable opinion = it comes from

emotional and financial concerns

Claim/Thesis Claim + debatable opinion + big idea +

little idea apathy + caused by emotional and

financial concerns + dropouts + can be prevented

Step Two: Consider Format How would you begin a speech?

Step Three: Hook your audience

Think about your claim, then decide:

Questions

Quotes

Facts

Short Stories

Model INTRODUCTIONTake a look at your worksheet and do questions 1-7.

Good evening board members, parents, teachers, and meeting attendees. I am here today to discuss a very important topic: school dropout rates. First, let me start by examining my own failures in school. By age ten, my family had moved six times. My parents struggled to put food on the table and provide us with decent shelter, which sometimes wasn’t much better than a broken-down barn. I found an escape from my wretched reality in schoolwork. I was an obnoxious overachiever, and I found the work exceptionally easy. I enjoyed learning and success; I wish I had held on to that distant memory when I miserably failed my senior year. I mean, it should have been a breeze to graduate at that point, right? I’m really not sure how it started, when it fell apart, but I can tell you why it fell apart. I abandoned success and discovered contemptible failure when boredom consumed me and I no longer cared to work or even go to a 90-minute class. Like my own indifference, I believe it is apathy brought on by emotional and financial concerns that is causing the escalating rates of high school dropouts, an apathy that can be prevented.

audience ethos

anecdote

RQ

Para.

Purpose

Body Paragraphs

Main Arguments

Step One CHOOSE your first PASSEF

Step Two DEVELOP that PASSEF idea with at least

two strong supporting details Stats Personal stories Facts 5Ws and an H

Don’t forget your big idea and little idea!

Step Three ORGANIZE your paper using time,

place, or idea This will be in your transitions!

Time – sequential order Place – location Idea – claim

Step Four FOCUS your paper using word

glue one key word from the first

sentence is re-stated in the next, etc.

Remember how to write a paragraph?

Topic sentence Transition Assertion (DETAIL) Commentary Transition Assertion (DETAIL) Commentary Conclusion

TOPIC SENTENCE your big idea and your little idea from your

thesis + your PASSEF idea

Some say the emotional effects of not being able to handle the demands of a class can lead a student to become apathetic towards school, an indifference that can be easily prohibited.

Transition Your organization strategy + first

supporting detail for your PASSEF

Firstly, students often incorrectly feel too emotionally immature to handle the stress and responsibility of schoolwork.

Assertion support – facts, stats, stories, etc. – that

describe your detail (emotionally immature for demands)

In a recent study by The New York Times, 47% of high school students ages 14-16 stated they had thought about leaving school at least once in the past three months because of the anxiety they felt over the increasing demands in their classwork.

Commentary Explains and elaborates on your detail and

connects it to your big/little ideas

When young students are put into these emotionally mature positions of becoming organized and proactive without assistance or nurturing, many become despondent at the loss of their childhood freedom. However, many of these students feel this unnecessary stress because they do not take advantage of the teacher-mentor relationships available to them. Often educators can spot the warning signs of distress and offer simple ways to ease the burdens of class.

Next Transition Your organization strategy + second

supporting detail

Secondly, some students feel that stress can create more than just indifference: it can actually do physical damage to one’s body, causing too much embarrassment to continue school.

Assertion support – facts, stats, stories, etc. – that

describe your detail (physical concerns = emotional ones)

Take, for example, my stressful story of moving six times before the age of 10. I would try and wear a Braves ball cap wherever I went to hide the hair loss I was experiencing from my high levels of stress. Before I was even a teenager, I had bald spots! Then I stressed so much about it, I got the worst acne!

Commentary Explains and elaborates on your detail and

connects it to your big/little ideas

When you are a kid, your emotions are linked to your physical appearance, making it difficult to become invested in anything as tedious as schoolwork. While stress can exacerbate the emotions involved, there are many medical solutions available, like dermatologists or simple trips to your local convenience store for topical ointments. Bad skin should never keep you from your future! Besides, what teen doesn’t go through these embarrassing situations, apathetic to school or not?

Conclusion So what? Why do emotional concerns make a kid

become apathetic and drop out of high school – and how can that be prevented?

The rollercoaster of emotions that teenagers face on a day-to-day basis is only compounded by the mature responsibility of school; factors like increased demands in the classroom and the inability to control physical signs of stress can make a student apathetic to academics. That’s why it is important for teachers and parents like you in the audience to notice these warning signs. You must initiate the contact to students who seem to be struggling. Be conscientious of their embarrassment with this emotional struggle. Offer up your own troubled childhood stories as evidence of your own credibility with these situations. Be proactive in helping these kids during their formative years!

Do Paragraph Three! Take the 8 strips and put them in order

with your group. Be prepared to defend your order!

Let’s discuss Big idea Little idea Audience Rhetorical Devices and Appeals Organization and Focus

TOPIC SENTENCE your big idea and your little idea from your thesis

+ your PASSEF idea

In addition to emotional apathy, some students feel indifferent to school work because they, erringly, see financial benefits to entering the workforce at a young age.

Transition Your organization strategy + first

supporting detail

One reason some kids become apathetic to school and dropout is because of the economic hardship it places on their families, even though it has been proven that dropouts earn much less in future income.

Assertion support – facts, stats, stories, etc. – that

describe your detail (dropouts earn less)

Most single-income families in the U.S. make a minimum of $27,000 a year, putting a strain on family finances that can affect young students.

Commentary Explains and elaborates on your detail (dropouts

earn less)

However, according to U.S. labor statistics, employees with no high school diploma or a basic G.E.D earn up to 35% less than those who graduate high school, and up to 52% less than those with college diplomas. While it may seem like a good idea blow off school and help your family pay for current expenses or get a “head start” on your own financial independence, in reality dropping out of high school seriously damages your future earning potential. In fact, it may even keep you from achieving necessary credit scores to buy a car, your first home, or pay serious medical bills. So, are you really helping yourself or your family?

Next Transition Your organization strategy + second

supporting detail

Another reason advocates of dropping out use financial gain as an advantage is because of the high costs associated with schooling, even though public high schools are free and the state offers additional financial assistance to those who qualify.

Assertion support – facts, stats, stories, etc. – that

describe your detail (school is expensive)

With the high costs of social conformity – the right jeans, the right car – it’s no wonder that students can become eager to leave school and start earning their own wages. Besides, it worked out so well for MC Hammer and Lindsey Lohan, right?

Commentary Explains and elaborates on your detail

(school expense)

Yes, I did experience disillusionment with school, but I used that apathy to my own demise. I couldn’t afford flashy clothes or bring my lunch, and that angered me. But, even when I was living in a dilapidated barn, I could still go to school and learn to be someone better: bus routes are free, the school offered reduced lunch programs, and supplies could be received on an as-needed basis from my school counselors and teachers. What was I thinking?

Conclusion So what? Why do financial concerns make a

kid become apathetic and drop out of high school – and how can that be prevented?

It’s easy to turn a blind-eye to the rigors and stress of school in favor of the flash of immediate cash. But, when parents and educators allow students to use the excuse of short-term gain and cutting costs to become apathetic to school they are not allowing them to truly make the best investment of all: in themselves. As Proverbs states, “Keep hold of instruction; do not let go; guard her, for she is your life. “

One more paragraph to go!

CONCLUSIONS!

Conclusions will… Re-state the thesis Give a call to action to the audience

MINIMUM STRATEGY BRAINSTORM

Read the prompt TAP it Find two PASSEFs and a common claim Support each PASSEF with at least two details (facts, stories, statistics….) Write a thesis (claim + debatable opinion)

INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH Hook your reader with a story introduction Write your thesis at the end of the introduction!

BODY PARAGRAPHS Topic sentence that has a claim + first PASSEF Transition with an organization strategy Detail that supports the topic sentence Commentary that also shows why the counterargument is invalid Conclusion that answers “so what?”

Concluding PARAGRAPH Re-state the thesis Give a call to action for the audience

Check your work for spelling, punctuation, grammar, and focus on your claim!

Sample ConclusionEmotional and financial concerns are just some of the many ways that students overwhelmingly turn apathetic towards their education and drop-out of school. The stress involved in school can make an otherwise willing child turn indifferent to their own learning. I’ve mentioned several ways to combat this dispiritedness, including building solid mentor relationships with teachers and being proactive about notice physical signs of stress in your child. Now, it is up to you to put these changes into effect. It doesn’t take a herculean effort, and it may just keep your child or favorite student motivated to stay in school.

Writing Tip #1 Purpose, Audience, and Tone

Know WHY you’re writing Know WHO is supposed to read it Know HOW you are supposed to sound

Writing Tip #2 Avoid homonym errors such as

they’re, their, there principal, principle to, too, two do, due whether, weather accept, except

Writing Tip #3 Things to avoid…

contractions (can’t, don’t, you’re) using “etc.” or the ‘&’ symbol “you” statements (You should…) a lot (use often, a great deal, many) slang or text message

abbreviations/language Y wanna for real U ikr lol

using a conjunction to begin a sentence (And grades would go up. So kids would pass.)

using words such as “that” and “even” multiple times in a sentence

Writing Tip #4 Vary word choice in sentences. Don’t start all

sentences the same way. I think the tardy policy is wrong. I

think it should be changed. I think we need a new rule created by the students and administration.

I think the tardy policy should be changed because it is wrong. Instead of following this rule, the students and administration should create a new policy.

*Which of the two follows this tip?

Writing Tip #5 Only use big words if you know what they

mean. The tardy policy is criminalized because of

unfortunate events. I think the tardy policy is wrong because it

criminalizes students for unfortunate events.

Writing Tip #6 Clearly start each sentence with a capital letter Clearly end each sentence with punctuation

i think the tardy policy is wrong I think the tardy policy is wrong.

Writing Tip #7 Proofread your paper before turning it

in First paragraph: hook, clear direction, thesis

statement Body paragraphs: transition topic sentences,

develop the idea w/ examples, facts, details Final body paragraph: transition topic sentence,

address opposing viewpoint, clincher sentence Conclusion: restated thesis and call to action or

tell us what we should now believe Check for grammar mistakes!

RememberYou only have 1 page (front and

back) of lined paper on which to write your final draft.

You will, however, have blank paper to work on outlines and a rough draft.