GRIEF SURROUNDING PET LOSS AND EUTHANASIA

UQ Veterinary Student Association

Grace Harwood BSoc Sc (Pastoral Counselling), BTh,

MACA, MFPCQ, CCAA (Grad)

Ipswich Hospice Care Inc Manager of Hilda’s House Bereavement Support – pre and post

death

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW?What would you like to walk away from this session with?

Our own experiences:

Have you had an animal die?

When you think back to this time: What was helpful? What would you do differently?

WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THIS TOPIC, WHAT WORRIES OR CONCERNS YOU MOST?

Euthanasing:

When – When is the right time?

Why – What is the owner’s motivation? How do we feel about it?

Who – Who will be present? Do they understand the process? Will you be able to give them an opportunity to say goodbye?

Where – Where and when will it take place? Where will the body go?

How – How will it take place? How do we handle it? How do we negotiate payment?

LOSS AND GRIEF

Definitions

LOSS: To be deprived of someone or something that holds

great meaning.

GRIEF: all the emotions and physical responses both

surrounding and related to the loss

BEREAVEMENT: The journey in which one experiences grief

MOURNING: The outward expression of the loss we have experienced

– eg rituals, clothing, candles, roadside signs etc

Common Problems with Pet Loss Disenfranchised Grief This is the grief associated with a loss

that is not: Openly acknowledged Publicly mourned Socially supported

Common responses to grief

FEELINGS Sadness Anger Guilt Anxiety Loneliness Yearning Fatigue Helplessness Shock Numbness Relief Depression Regret Abandonment

BEHAVIOURS Sleep disturbance Over-activity Sighing Restlessness Absent-mindedness Appetite disturbance Social withdrawl Crying Dreams of the deceased Lack of concentration Regression

Common responses to grief

THOUGHTS Disbelief Confusion Pre-occupation Sense of

presence Hallucinations

PHYSICAL SENSATIONS Hollowness in the

stomach Oversensitivity to

noise Tightness in the

chest and throat Dry mouth Weakness in muscles Fatigue Breathlessness Lack of energy

Impact of Other Losses

A previous significant loss can exacerbate the loss of a pet.

The loss of a pet can involve secondary losses.

Early losses in childhood are considered highly significant contributors to the likely success of the integration of later losses.

Murray, 2006

CHILDREN’S GRIEFShould children be present at euthanasing?

Children’s Grief: What do they need?

Reassurance Information and honest answers Patience and support Time to adjust Routines and stability Language which is understood People who accept and a place to

express their emotions Adapted from Brown. 2001

Hint: Avoid Euphemisms

Snuffed out Kicked the bucket Gone to sleep Taken by Jesus Passed away/on Popped his clogs Crossed over

Pushing up daisies

Lost Gone to meet his

maker Put him/her down Gone to the

happy hunting ground

……

What helps people who have lost a pet?

Being listened to Being believed about their relationship with

their pet Having their loss validated Having an opportunity to express the depth

of their loss Opportunities to ritualise the loss Linking with others who have experienced

similar losses Counselling/support

Services you could provide:

Sympathy card Referral to pet burial/cremation services Referral to counselling/support Brochures about Pet Loss and Grief ……

ANYTHING ELSE…….