grief management and buddhist...

Aims

1. Introducing the Nature of grief

management process in Buddhist

counseling and Psychotherapy

2. Techniques of grief Management in

Buddhist counseling and Psychotherapy

Limitations

1. Grief due to death

2. Theravāda Buddhist literature

Introduction

1. Bhisakko (physician)

2. Sallakatto (Surgeon)

3. Bhisakko (as a great counselor)

4. Sallakatto (as a great Psychotherapist)

Mahādhammasamādāna Sutta (MN)

Sunakkhatta Sutta (MN)

Ayurveda Medical system

Bhisakko (as a great counselor)

• Mahādhammasamādāna sutta (MN)

• Counselling is for less disturbed people,

dealing with conscious problems and

requiring a single-issue focus

Throne, B. Psychotherapy and counselling:

the quest for difference, pp. 244, 248.

Sallakatto (as a great

Psychotherapist)

Sunnakkhatta Sutta (MN)

Psychotherapy is for more disturbed people

who exhibit less apparent constellations of

problems.

Ibid, pp. 244 – 248

Buddhist Counselling and Psychotherapy

for grief Management

I. Noble washing (Dovana Sutta, AN)

II.Noble vomiting (Vamana Sutta, AN)

III.Noble Purgation (Tikicchaka Sutta, AN)

IV.Noble draining out (Niddhamaniya Sutta, AN)

V.Noble bath without water (Anodakasināna)

(Najῑrati Sutta, SN)

Carl Gustave Jung

My task was the treatment of Psychic suffering, and it was that

impelled me to become acquainted with the views and Methods of that

great teacher of humanity (the Buddha) whose principal theme was the

chain of suffering, old age, sickness and death… There may be some

afflictions which seem unendurable and require treatment just as

much as a direct illness. They call for a kind of moral attitude such as

is provided by religious faith or a Philosophical belief. In this respect

the study of Buddhist literature was of great help to me, since it trains

one to observe suffering objectively and to take a universal view of

the causes

(Jung C.G, - Psychology and the East, 1978, p. 209)

Robert H. Thouless

(Cambridge Psychologist)

I think that primitive Buddhism must be understood as a system of Psychotherapy.

Acceptance of the Christian faith may, of course, also give relief from mental burdens,

but this is only incidental, where as the Psychotherapeutic aim of Buddhism is

fundamental. This is why, I think, we can feel much of the teaching of the Buddha as

relevant to our needs in a way that would have been impossible to our grandfathers,

because we have accepted and become used to the aim of psychotherapy. There are of

course, other elements in Buddhism much more alien to our way of thinking, but there

is also another element which brings it close to modern way of thinking this is the fact

that it is a system of taught dominated by the idea of cause and effect.

Thouless, Robert H. Christianity and Buddhism, pp,5

William James (1842 – 1910)

(American Psychologist)

This is the psychology everybody will be studding twenty five

years from now.

Fields, Rick – How the swans came to the lake. (A

narrative history of Buddhism in America, 1986, p. 134)

Stages of Unsatisfactoriness

1.

Dukkha

Physical

Psychological

Cosmic

Stages of Grief

1. Dukkha – dukkha (Intrinsic dukkha)

2. Viparināma – dukkha (Dukkha in change)

3. Saṁkhāra – dhukkha ( Dukkha due to disposition)

Terms

Soka

Parideva

Domanassa

Upāyāsa

Saccavibhaṅga Sutta (MN)

Dammacakkapavattana Sutta (SN)

What is Soka

It is the grief, sorrow, sorrowfulness, inward grief,

the inner pain of one visited by some kind of

calamity or other, smitten by some kind of ill or

other.


What is Parideva

It is the crying, the wailing, the act of crying, the

act of wailing, the state of crying, the sate of

wailing of one visited by some calamity or

smitten by some kind of ill or other.

What is domanassa

It is mental suffering, mental disagreeableness

arising from an impingement on the mind and

experienced as suffering as disagreeableness.


What is Upāyāsa

It is despondency, despair, the state of despondency,

the state of despair of one visited by some calamity

or other, smitten by some kind of ill or other.


Psychology of Grief

Born of affection

For householder,

grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair

are born of affection or originate in affection for

children, spouse, parents, lovers

Piyajātika Sutta – MN

Psychology of Grief contd.

Not getting what one desires, that too is anguish

Grief is the five groups of grasping that are anguish

Clinging (upādāna) Psychological tendency



Survival tendency as (biological and psychological)

Taṇhā (craving)

Chanda (impulse)

Rāga (desire)

Nandi (enjoyment)

Sineha (love)

Pipāsa (thirst)


Desire (taṇhā)

1. Kāma taṇhā (craving for self-gratification)

2. Bhava taṇhā (craving for self-preservation, self-

continuity, personal immortality, self-assertion,

self-display, self-respect)

3. Vibhava taṇhā (craving for annihilation)

Disorders of Grief

Piyajātika Sutta

i. Case – father whose son died

Going constantly to the cemetery, he wailed, “whereare you, little only son? Where are you, little onlyson?

ii. Case – daughter whose mother died

Since her passing away, she (the daughter)unbalanced and unhinged, went form street to street,from cross-road to cross-road saying, “Have you notseen my mother? Have you not seen my mother?

Disorders of Grief contd.

iii. Case – lovers

A certain woman went to her relation’s family. Those

relations of hers, having forcibly taken her from her

husband, desired to give her to another, but she did not

want him. Then, that woman spoke thus to her husband:

“those relations of mine, master, having forcibly taken

me from you, want to give me to another, but I don’t

want him.” Then, that man, having cut that woman

in two, thinking ‘we will both come to be hereafter’,

destroyed himself,


Sokasallaharaṇa Sutta (AN)

iv. Case - part one

Bhaddā, the dear and beloved Rāni of Rāja Muṇḍa,

died, and because of the loss of his dear Rāni

Bahddā, he neither bathed nor anointed himself

nor, partook of any food, nor concerned himself

with any affairs, but day and night clung in grief

to her body as though a swoon.


Part two

Friend, Piyaka, place the body of Rāni in an oil

vessel made of iron and cover it over with

another iron vessel so that we shall see her body

longer.


One who has strong desires in his character

experiences the perpetual suffering and dejection

that are born of desire (AN Vol. ii 149)


He who is overwhelmed by desire plans his harm and

others, and the harm of both, he performs immoral acts

in deed, word and thought, he cannot understand, as it

really is… his own profit, that of others, or that of both.

Desire is the cause of blindness, of not seeing, of not

knowing, of loss of understanding: it is associated with

trouble and not lead to Nibbāna.

(Aṅguttara Nikāya Vol. I 216)

Grief Management Phases

i. Tadaṅga pahāna

Temporary treatment

Behavioural transformation

Sīla

ii. Vikkhambhana pahāna

Periodical treatment

Mental development

Samādhi

iii. Samuccheda pahāna

Everlasting solution

Paññā

Strategies

Giving time to grieve

Release of the intensity of grief

(behavioural transformation)

The Story of Kisāgotamῑ

Kisāgotamῑ -: sire, do you know any medicine that will be good for my child

Buddha -: yes, I know of some, I want some mustard. You must get it from some

house where no son, or husband or, parent or slave has died.

Kisāgotami -: very good sire,

Kisāgotamῑ met people and tried to find mustard from a place where nobody has

died and she realized that every one dies.

Buddha -: Have you the Mustard

Kisāgotamῑ -: sire, I have not. The people tell me that the living are few, but the

dead are many.

Rhys Davids, T.W. Buddhism, Being a sketch of the life and Teachings of

Gautama, the Buddha, London, 1912 pp. 133 – 34

The Story of Visākhā

Buddha -: O Visākā, do you come here at unseasonable hours, with hand and hair wet (with tears)?

Visākhā -: sire, my dearly loved grandson is dead. That is why I come here, at unseasonable hours, with hands and

hair wet (with tears)

Buddha -: Do you find, O Visākā, that there are sons and grandsons in proportion to the number of men in Savatthi

Visākā -: I find sire.. That there are sons and grandsons in proportion to the number of men.

Buddha -: And how many men of Savatthi, Visākā, die daily?

Visākā -: Some time ten men of Savatthi die daily, some times. Nine, eight. Seven, six, five, four, three, two, some

times, sire, only one man dies, in the days. Of men dying in Savatthi, there is no lack sire.

Buddha -: What think you, Visākā, have you found at anytime or anywhere, men whose garments have been unwetted

(by tears), whose hair has been unwetted (buy tears)

Visākā -: Not so, sire, how is that possible with so many sons and grandsons?.

Buddha -: Those, Visākā who have a, hundred dear one, have a hundred sorrows, Those who have ninety dear have

ninety sorrows… Those who have one dear one sorrow. Those who have no dear one, for them there is no sorrow

No dears

No Sorrow

The Udana; or the solemn utterance of the Buddha, Tr. Storing, D.M, London, 1902, pp. 126, 127

Strategies contd.

The story of lady Ubbari

The Buddha: Why are you crying?

Lady Ubbari: I am crying for my daughter, sir.

The Buddha: In this burning ground, 84,000

daughters of yours have been burnt. For which

one are you crying?

Spiritual transformation

Strategies contd.

• Nobody can escape

from being ageing

from being sick

from death

from destruction

Mental development

(Sokasallaharaṇa Sutta)

Strategies contd.Only one way to get rid of grief

Four Foundation of Mindfulness

i. Mindfulness of body (being aware of postures,

somatic sensations and breath)

ii. Mindfulness of feelings (being aware of

qualities of pleasantness, unpleasantness and

neutrality arising in mind.

iii. Mindfulness of mind states (being aware of states of

mind that may color the mind such as destructed mind,

happy mind ,angry mind, etc.

iv. Mindfulness of mind objects (being aware of contents of

the mind such as thoughts and being aware of they

are conditioned in both physical and mental

processes.

Application of Grief Management in Sri

Lankan Context

1. Private Sector

1. Lanka Tiles PVT

2. Lanka Floor Tiles PVT

2. Academic

1. Hon’s Degree in Buddhist Psychology

2. Postgraduate Diploma in Buddhist

Counseling

3. Master Degree in Buddhist Counseling

3. Health Sector

1. Cancer Patients

Conclusion

1. Sīla (behavioral transformation)

2. Samādhi (mental development – tranquility)

3. Paññā (cognitive transformation – insight)

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