This article was downloaded by: [University of North Texas]On: 02 December 2014, At: 02:13Publisher: RoutledgeInforma Ltd Registered in England and Wales Registered Number: 1072954Registered office: Mortimer House, 37-41 Mortimer Street, London W1T 3JH,UK

Death StudiesPublication details, including instructions forauthors and subscription information:http://www.tandfonline.com/loi/udst20

Grief Bibliotherapy and Beyondfor Grieving Children andTeenagersReviewed by Katrina KoehlerPublished online: 22 Sep 2010.

To cite this article: Reviewed by Katrina Koehler (2010) Grief Bibliotherapy andBeyond for Grieving Children and Teenagers, Death Studies, 34:9, 854-860, DOI:10.1080/07481181003772721

To link to this article: http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/07481181003772721

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Grief Bibliotherapy and Beyond for GrievingChildren and Teenagers

A review of The Children Who Lived: Using Harry Potter and OtherFictional Characters to Help Grieving Children and Adolescents byKathryn A. Markell and Marc A. Markell. New York: Routledge,2008. 208 pp. (ISBN: 978-0415957656). $34.95. Reviewed byKatrina Koehler.

Kathryn A. Markell teaches at Anoka-Ramsey Community College inCoon Rapids, Minnesota. She wrote the chapter ‘‘Educating ChildrenAbout Death-Related Issues,’’ which appears in Children’s Encounters withDeath, Bereavement, and Coping (published in 2009 by Springer PublishingCompany).

Marc A. Markell is Professor, Special Education, St. Cloud StateUniversity, St. Cloud, Minnesota. With John H. Hoover he wrote thechapter ‘‘Children with Developmental Disabilities, Death, and Grief,’’which appears in Children’s Encounters with Death, Bereavement, and Coping(published in 2009 by Springer Publishing Company).

Katrina Koehler is the Executive Director at Gerard’s House, a non-profit in Santa Fe, New Mexico providing free grief support groups andother programs for children and teenagers who have experienced the deathof a family member or friend or who have a family member with a life-threatening illness. Gerard’s House has recently added a new program ofpeer grief support for children and teens living in foster care. She wrotethe chapter ‘‘Helping Families Help Bereaved Children,’’ which appearsin Children’s Encounters with Death, Bereavement, and Coping (published in2009 by Springer Publishing Company).

Ah, the Harry Potter phenomenon. Whether you love thebooks and movies or have never understood what all the hype isabout, one thing is for sure: The series has not only gotten millionsof kids reading; it has gotten them to imagine what it might be liketo grow up as an orphan, and then to experience the deaths ofclose friends, classmates and beloved mentors.

For many young Harry Potter fans who have already experi-enced the death of someone important to them, the series has donesomething more. It has given them a fictional friend who can mir-ror their own stories of loss and grief. In The Children Who Lived,Using Harry Potter and Other Fictional Characters to Help GrievingChildren and Adolescents, authors Kathryn and Marc Markell mineall seven books in R.K. Rowling’s wildly popular series—as wellas four other classic novels featuring bereaved protagonists—in a

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project created to ‘‘help children cope with similar issues intheir own lives’’ (p. xiii). Observant, meticulous, and insightful,The Children Who Lived teases out scores of themes covered in these11 novels that are relevant to grieving children. I use the wordproject because the book not only illuminates important griefissues touched on in the fictional stories, it also provides discussionquestions and activity options, including an elaborate game,related to the 11 novels to help bereaved children get more outof reading about their favorite characters. A CD comes with thebook, containing all the book’s activities and games, ready to beprinted out.

What shines through every page of The Children Who Lived isthe authors’ feeling for children who are coping with loss and grief.And by ‘‘feeling for’’ I mean both heartfelt empathy and intuitiveinsight. Kathryn and Marc Markell are siblings. When they wereyoung children, their father died. Like so many bereaved childrenin 1960s America, they were left to experience their grief without alot of support from the adults in their lives, but, ‘‘Although no oneever suggested that we see a counselor or talk about our grief,’’they write, ‘‘we both did find guidance and consolation in books’’(p. xix).

In their introduction, the Markells tell the story of how theirdad died and then faithfully describe what each of them remem-bers in the aftermath of his death. The fine detail makes this pass-age memorable. Kathryn, who was seven at the time, loved thenew dress someone bought her to wear at her father’s funeraland ‘‘felt very guilty for being glad she got to wear it’’ (p. xviii).Marc, who started kindergarten three months after his father died,was afraid his mother would also die while he was at school andcried every day. ‘‘Although Marc remembers that the teacheryelled at him and told him to stop being a baby,’’ they recall,‘‘she finally let our mom come to school with Marc, and stay forshorter and shorter periods of time each day until he could lether leave without crying’’ (p. xviii). Fast forward forty-odd years,and both Markells have careers that are centered in issues of griefand loss and in helping children and adolescents. They have nowcollaborated on The Children Who Lived to help children like thechildren they once were.

The book was born out of the Markells’ realization, throughtheir shared interests in both the Harry Potter novels and in the

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Association for Death Education and Counseling, that ‘‘we, likeHarry and so many real-life children, were part of a special group:the children who lived’’ (p. xix). The title, as the authors explain,comes from an epithet ascribed to Harry by the wizarding worldin Book One of Rowling’s series,

Because of the scar on Harry’s forehead, left when Lord Voldemort triedbut failed to kill Harry, everyone knows that he is ‘‘the boy who lived’’through the death of his parents and the attempt on his own life. (p. 2)

The Children Who Lived is divided into four sections. Section 1,which makes up almost half the book’s 190 pages, is a companionto the Harry Potter novels designed to be used by adults to helpgrieving children and adolescent fans of the popular series. Thissection is further divided into four units covering the followinggeneral topics: (a) identity and fictional characters, (b) death, (c)anxieties and fears, and (d) magical objects as tools to cope withgrief. Each of these units is made up of specific grief-related topicscalled themes—a structure that makes the book easy to read,understand, and refer back to.

Altogether, there are 36 themes in Section 1, including Loss ofa Pet, Neville’s Wand: Grief for Non-Death Losses, Grieving the Loss of aDifficult Person, and When Adults Can’t Help. The theme structure iseffective. By explaining, in simple terms, how each theme relates togrieving children, then giving a brief overview of how it isaddressed in the seven Harry Potter novels, the authors are ableto cover a lot of emotional territory quickly. The examples takenfrom the Harry Potter books often serve as meaningful anchors,and the authors shine when briefly summing up complex aspectsof children’s grief in simple language, making the book eminentlyreadable. Throughout this section—and the rest of the book—Markell and Markell excel at identifying and articulating a hostof issues and problems that grieving children and teenagers face.

Once each theme is thus fleshed out, a list of theme-relatedpossible discussion questions follows, specially created to helpadults open up conversations with grieving children. Some ques-tions directly address the grieving child’s experience, and othersrelate the grieving child’s experience to the Harry Potter novels.Finally, several activity ideas are offered that correspond to eachtheme. From art projects and writing exercises to role plays andrituals, there’s a lot to choose from. Some of these activities will

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be familiar to those working in the field of children’s bereavement,but there are also many new ideas. Many, but not all, of the activi-ties in this section are tied to, and=or inspired by, the world ofHarry Potter.

As an example of how this format works, Theme 2, Harry’s Scar,is about the scar Harry receives in the attack in which his parentsare killed, and how this scar can be seen to represent the way griev-ing children feel marked as different, and their ability to heal andlive on after the person’s death.

Grieving children and adolescents . . .may find that others identify themprimarily as people who have lost someone to death. Their experience ofgrief and loss may have an important effect on their developing identity.Although scars ‘‘heal’’, they do not leave us. (p. 6)

Like many passages in The Children Who Lived, the piece aboutHarry’s scar is an inspired use of the Harry Potter material to helpgrieving children understand, think about, and express importantgrief issues. Discussion questions for the Harry’s Scar theme include‘‘When people find out that the grieving child or adolescent hashad someone close to them die, do they treat them differently?Discuss.’’ (p. 7); and ‘‘If the children had a scar to represent theirsurvival, and the loss of the person who died, what would it looklike? Would it have both positive and negative qualities?’’ (p. 8).In one activity related to this theme, grieving children are invitedto imagine what their scars might look like ‘‘if they had a scar thatrepresented their grief over the death of their significant person’’(p. 9), and to draw the scar or write about it.

In some cases, the connection between the grief issue beingaddressed and the Harry Potter books is slightly strained, but eventhen the format works. Theme 26, Felix Felicis Potion, for example,refers to the ‘‘liquid luck’’ potion from the Harry Potter books, acharmed tonic that promises to deliver ‘‘one perfect day’’ to theperson who drinks it. The authors associate this potion with griev-ing children’s daydreams ‘‘about past times that seemed perfect orabout how everything would be fine now if only they or someoneelse had made a different choice in the past’’ (p. 68). Although it’strue that many grieving children often yearn for the past, harborregrets, and=or wonder how things could have turned out differ-ently, connecting these three experiences with a good luck potionis perhaps more distracting than clarifying with regard to the grief

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issues being addressed. In most other cases, however, the themesare used effectively.

Section 2 covers four other novels: Charlotte’s Web, The SecretGarden, Where the Red Fern Grows, and Ordinary People. It uses thesame structure as Section 1: four units divided into specificthemes including thematic discussion questions and activities. Inthis section, each unit covers a different novel. The authors avoidrepetition by honing in on the special grief issues brought forwardin each book. The unit about Frances Hodgson Burnett’s TheSecret Garden includes themes about Colin’s anger at his motherfor dying, and about Colin and Mary (both grieving children)acting out and alienating others. In the unit on Judith Guest’sOrdinary People, written with grieving adolescents in mind, intan-gible secondary losses are explored in ways appropriate for olderchildren and teenagers. Secondary losses are addressed elsewherein the book in ways that I thought were also well-matched forthe ages intended.

Each unit in Section 2 addresses a range of important themes,and can stand on its own, but is fairly short; three of these units (allbut the one about Charlotte’s Web), are 10 pages or less. The fournovels are briefly recapped in this section, and these summaries,although admirably concise and easy to follow, are factual plotsummaries and do not seem to attempt to convey the emotionalpower and beauty of the stories. For those who have not read thesebooks, some of the essence of the books will be lost in translation.

Section 3 is made up of several creative games as expressiveoutlets for grieving children. The Wizard Challenge Game is an orig-inal and cleverly constructed grief-themed Harry Potter triviagame. Each trivia=discussion card first tests the children’s knowl-edge of the Harry Potter books with a multiple-choice question,then invites children to share something about themselves relatedto the Harry Potter question. There are also grief-themed MissingWord Stories and a coloring book in this section, all available onthe CD. Section 4 contains craft ideas for grieving children. Theseare more elaborate craft projects than the activities offered inSections 1 and 2.

I absolutely recommend The Children Who Lived for any adultwho wants to reach out to a young Harry Potter fan who is alsogrieving (and I have known more than a few). I would alsorecommend it as a way of opening up the topic of grief and loss

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generally with any Harry Potter reader. Because so much of thebook hinges on this series, however, its value for helping kidswho are less familiar with the Harry Potter stories is somewhat lim-ited. Fortunately, many children have seen at least one or two ofthe Harry Potter movies even if they have not read the books, giv-ing them something to work with for those parts of the book. Also,the units on the other four novels, though short, can stand alone forchildren or teenagers who know any of those books or movies.

Overall, I found the authors’ articulation of issues faced bybereaved children to be completely on the mark, and I admiredhow elegantly these themes were described—kept simple, short,and to the point. The discussion questions and activities are veryflexible, leaving a lot of options, so that within each theme, anadult who is tuned in to the grieving child can pick and choosewhich questions or activities might be most helpful or appropri-ate for that child. Having the CD-ROM with all the activities onit, ready to be printed out, is a great bonus. It comes with thebook. Finally, The Children Who Lived is well-organized and hasa nice flow.

I had one general quibble with the book, involving a philo-sophical difference I have with the authors. A few passages inThe Children Who Lived give the message, albeit in a gentle way, thatit may be desirable to move from negative thoughts and feelings topositive ones, or to ‘‘fight away unhappy thoughts’’ (p. 65). Oneactivity suggests, ‘‘Have the children make a list of negativethoughts that they have about their life and positive thoughts thatthey have. Discuss how they can decrease their negative thoughts’’(p. 111). I believe that for grieving children, our acceptance forwherever they are in their processes is key. Though this activityidea acknowledges and gives an outlet for negative thoughts, it alsosubtly values positive thoughts over negative thoughts, which caninadvertently give an undercurrent that some thoughts and feelingsare more acceptable than others. Though I understand the intenthere is to ease suffering and I acknowledge the work of MartinSeligman and others in the positive psychology movement, I thinkthis message can be counterproductive during grief.

My very favorite part of the book is in the introduction, whenKathryn and Marc Markell tell their own stories about theirfather’s death and their own childhood experience of grief andloss. I found this passage riveting and moving. I love the way they

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describe what each of them remembers most, and how the wholeexperience impacted each child.

And now, a confession: I am a great admirer of Charlotte’sWeb, Where the Red Fern Grows, and The Secret Garden. I still remem-ber being rocked to the core by these books as a child and weepinginconsolably when the deaths happened in the first two. AndOrdinary People is, in my opinion, one of the most brilliant andemotionally resonant novels I have ever read that deals with griefand loss. I have to admit, though, that I haven’t been a great HarryPotter fan. When I read the first book many years ago, I appreci-ated its cleverness and humor and liked the archetypal Cinderellastory but was disappointed and bored reading about Harry and hisfriends using their magical powers for rivalries and duels. Itseemed predictable and formulaic. Thanks to Kathryn and MarcMarkell, however, I have a new appreciation for the series. Afterreading The Children Who Lived, I have read most of the HarryPotter novels and will probably read them all. I admire the series’wit, imagination, and its willingness to take its readers into someimportant emotional terrain along the way.

More importantly, however, I am excited to see how we canuse the themes, questions, and activities provided in The ChildrenWho Lived at Gerard’s House, the grief support center for childrenand teenagers where I work with grieving kids, mostly in peer sup-port programs. Though it would be too time-consuming for ourweekly grief support groups, perhaps we can watch the first HarryPotter movie, or Charlotte’s Web, together at one of our bereave-ment camps next summer and use some of the discussion ques-tions, activities, and games in The Children Who Lived. There’s alot to choose from in this book! And it’s great to have an infusionof fresh material to help support children and teenagers in theirgrief process.

Premature Loss of a Love

A review of After Eight by Lillian E. Hurd. Dallas, TX: DurbanHouse Press, Inc., 2009. 315 pp. (ISBN 978-0-9800067-9-7).$15.95. Reviewed by Nancy Habluetzel.

Lillian E. Hurd is Assistant Dean of Continuing Education and ProfessionalAdvancement at Brooklyn College of the City University of New York.

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