grandparents r a i s i n g · efforts. say things like, “you worked really hard to paint that...

Homework HelpHomework can be a useful tool for children’s learning.The main purpose of homework is to help childrenpractice, reinforce, or expand important skills thatthey learn during the school day. But many childrenthink of homework as punishment rather than rein-forcement.

How can you reduce homework headaches? Whenadults nag children to get their homework done, whilechildren look for ways to put it off, the whole processof doing homework can become a power struggle.Here are some ways to keep homework from becom-ing a battleground.

n Set a consistent quiet time for homework.Having an established “homework time” helpsyour grandchildren understand that homework is apriority. Setting a regular time also cuts down onarguments about when to do the work. The lengthof time depends on the children’s ages and theamount of homework they usually have. Youngerchildren usually need less time than older children.Make it clear that the children are expected tocomplete their homework during the quiet time. If

children don’t have any homework one night, youcan encourage them to spend homework timereading a book or working on a science projectthat interests them.

n Know your grandchildren’s personalities.Some children are better off completing theirhomework before they play outside or watch tele-vision. Others need some relaxation time afterschool before they’re ready to do homework. Somechildren study best at a desk with bright light.

All grandparents want their grandchildren to do well in school. Your grandchilddoesn’t have to be the smartest child in the class to succeed in school. School success requires good study skillsand habits, self-confidence, and the ability to make friends. And children are much more likely to succeed in schoolwhen their families support their learning at home. How do you support your grandchildren in doing their home-work? How can you help them feel good about their ability to learn? What do you do if they have trouble makingfriends? Here are some basic ideas for supporting your grandchildren in school.

GrandparentsRaising

GrandchildrenHelping Your Grandchildren Succeed in School

Others are more successful if they aremore comfortable, perhaps lying on thebed or floor. Choose the time and placethat works best for each grandchild,even if they end up doing homework atdifferent times. And you can makeoccasional exceptions to the home-work routine. If a special school eventhappens during “homework time,” youcan rearrange the time for that night.

n Allow time for study breaks. If chil-dren have a lot of homework, shortbreaks between assignments or partsmay help refresh them. Encouragethem to stretch, get a drink of water, oreven take a short walk. But pay atten-tion to how often children take breaks.Elementary-age children should beable to work for 15 - 30 minutes beforeneeding a break, and older childrenshould be able to concentrate for atleast 30 - 45 minutes. If children aretaking breaks every few minutes, theymay be trying to put off an assignment.

n Help children complete one or twoexamples, but not every question.Many adults struggle with how muchhelp to give children. Keep in mind thatmany teachers use homework to judgewhether children have learned thematerial. It’s fine to work through aquestion or two with your grandchild,but make sure that he’s doing most ofthe work himself. When your grand-child turns in homework donecorrectly, the teacher assumes that heunderstands how to do it. If you’redoing the homework for your grand-child, he won’t necessarily know howto do it at school, when you’re notthere to help.

n Help your grandchildren organizefor long-term projects. Science proj-ects and term papers cannot be doneovernight. Many children don’t knowhow to break a large assignment downinto manageable steps, and so don’tstart on it until a few days before it’sdue. When your grandchildren comehome with big assignments, sit downthe first night and encourage them toplan out a strategy. Choose specificdates to have information gathered, tocomplete a first draft, and to finish revi-sions. Encourage your grandchildren tospend a little bit of homework timeeach night on the big assignment.

n Reduce the stress in your grand-children’s lives. Some children haveso many out-of-school activities thatthey’re too tired or distracted to dohomework. Activities like sports,music, dance lessons, clubs, and artclasses may be too much for a child to

Helping Your Grandchildren Succeed in School

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, Cooperative Extension, The University of Georgia

do when there is also homework tocomplete. Help your grandchildrenchoose one or two activities that theyespecially enjoy, and don’t commit totoo much. Make sure homework is atop priority in the schedule. And besure your grandchildren have somefree time to simply relax and play.

n Consider hiring a tutor. Do you getirritated when your grandchild has trou-ble with a math assignment? Are yourgrandchildren asking for your help onschoolwork you don’t remember how todo? You don’t have to handle all home-work struggles by yourself. If yourgrandchild is struggling, or needs extrasupport in some subject, you may wantto hire a tutor. Tutors work one-on-onewith your grandchildren in areas wherethey need a little extra help. Your grand-child’s teacher or someone from theneighborhood could recommend a goodtutor. Having a tutor may also reduce ten-sions around homework in your family.

n Use a non-threatening approach.React calmly when your grandchildrenmake mistakes in their homeworkassignments. Instead of saying, “That’swrong; here’s the right answer,” askhow they got the answer. When theyexplain their thinking process, they maycatch their own mistakes. Asking howthey got the answer may help you dis-cover why they made the mistake in thefirst place. Resist the temptation to justgive them the right answer; instead, helpthem learn how to think it through forthemselves.

n Get to know your grandchildren’steachers. You and your grandchil-dren’s teachers are most likely to helpyour grandchild succeed in schoolwhen you cooperate. Get to knowteachers and administrators, and letthem know that you want to help yourgrandchild succeed in school. Findtime to be involved with your grand-children’s school. If your grandchildren



React calmly whenyour grandchildrenmake mistakes intheir homework

assignments.

Resist thetemptation to justgive them the right

answer; instead,help them learnhow to think it

through forthemselves.

are having regular problems complet-ing homework assignments, or you seeproblems with the amount or type ofhomework being assigned, make anappointment with the teacher to dis-cuss the issue.

n Be alert for special learning needs.If your grandchild regularly has prob-lems with homework in one area, butdoes well in other areas, talk to theteacher. Your grandchild may just needextra practice in the problem area, butit’s also possible that the child has aspecial learning need. Your grand-child’s teacher is trained to spot anyspecial needs your grandchild mayhave. If the teacher suspects that yourgrandchild has a special learning need,he may recommend that the child betested. If the tests indicate a specialneed, the teacher will help bringtogether a Student Support Team (SST)of teachers and other learning special-

ists to help you and your grandchildtackle barriers to school success.

n Consult the school counselor aboutproblems. Your grandchildren’sschools probably have counselors avail-able to help them cope with stressesthat may get in the way of school suc-cess. Let the teacher or counselor knowabout problems at home that couldcause problems in schoolwork. If yourgrandchildren’s parents don’t show upfor a scheduled visit, for example, thechildren may feel upset and schoolworkmay suffer. When the teacher andschool counselor know about the prob-lem, they can work with you to supportyour grandchildren.

Remember that homework doesn’t have tobe a struggle. When you make homework apriority in your home, you are offering yourgrandchildren support, helping them dealwith mistakes, teaching them to take respon-sibility for their own learning, and helpingthem develop problem solving skills.

More than Just AcademicsMastering reading, math, and other aca-demic subjects is clearly an important partof your grandchildren’s education. Butschool isn’t just about “reading, writing,and arithmetic.” It’s also a time for childrento learn how to value themselves and howto get along with others — valuable skillsto have! Your grandchildren are morelikely to do well, both academically andsocially, if they feel confident about them-selves. Making friends is also an importantpart of the school experience. Here are



If the teachersuspects that yourgrandchild has aspecial learningneed, he may

recommend that thechild be tested.

some ideas for helping your grandchildrenwith self-confidence and friendships.

Helping Your Grandchildren Build Self-ConfidenceFeeling confident is important for schoolsuccess. Children who are sure of them-selves are less likely to give up when anassignment is hard. Confident children arenot afraid to raise their hands, are morewilling to ask questions, and are morelikely to try again when they make a mis-take. Because self-confident childrenbelieve they will succeed, they tend to bemore successful.

Unfortunately, some children lose self-confidence when they have trouble inschool. How can you help your grandchil-dren feel confident that they can succeedin school? Here are some tips to help buildself-confidence.

n Encourage your grandchildren totry new things. Help them find activi-ties they enjoy. Encourage them to takesmall steps toward mastering some-thing new. Help them see the smallways that they are succeeding. If yourgrandchild is taking art lessons, pointout the new shapes that he has learnedto draw or the colors he created.

n Help children handle mistakescalmly. Nobody succeeds at everyactivity the first time. Failure is a partof life, and children need to know howto handle it. React calmly when yourgrandchildren make mistakes. Focuson what they learned from the mistake,and help them figure out how to do bet-ter in the future. Encourage children’sefforts. Say things like, “You workedreally hard to paint that picture.”



Your grandchildrenare more likely to

do well, bothacademically and

socially, if they feelconfident about

themselves.

n Make sure activities are age-appro-priate. Choose activities that are justchallenging enough for children tolearn something new, but not so diffi-cult that they get frustrated becausethey can’t finish. Give children chancesto feel successful. Know your grand-children’s abilities, and pick activitiesthat fit them. Start with easier activi-ties, such as a 5-piece puzzle. Once theyhave mastered the easy activities, youcan move on to harder ones, such as a10-piece puzzle.

n Don’t compare your grandchildrento other children. Children have dif-ferent talents and abilities. Celebrateeach child’s abilities achievements, andpay attention to how they haveimproved over time. Instead of encour-

aging children to compete with eachother, encourage them to improve their“personal best.” If you want childrento clean up quickly, time them with astop watch. Say things like “You fin-ished in 30 seconds last time. I bet youcan go even faster this time.”

n Ask leading questions. Telling chil-dren what to do may be easier andfaster, but it doesn’t teach them how toaccomplish things on their own.Questions can help children thinkabout the next step or different ways toreach a goal. If your grandchildrenwant to build a city of blocks but don’tknow how to get started, you might askthem what kinds of buildings will be intheir city.

Making FriendsFriends play an important role in children’sdevelopment. Playing with friends helpschildren learn to get along with others, tonegotiate when they disagree, and to shareand take turns. Friends provide compan-ionship and teach children social skills.Children who don’t have friends tend tohave lower self-esteem and may even feeldepressed. Well-rounded children usuallyhave one or two best friends and severalcasual friends.

Especially when they are new to a com-munity and school, some children are slowto meet other children and make friends.Make sure your grandchildren have oppor-tunities to get to know other children theirage. Structured activities, such as sports ordrama, can be a good way to meet peoplewho share their interests. Be sure your



grandchildren have some unstructuredtime for free play with friends. If they don’thave anyone to play with in the neighbor-hood, invite children from her school overfor “play dates,” or go to a local play-ground.

What makes a good friend? Children, likeadults, look for certain qualities whenchoosing friends. Here are some of mostcommon qualities that make a “good”friend:

n Is this child fun to be with? (sense ofhumor, ready to play, has ideas forplay)

n Is this child trustworthy? (honest,loyal, reliable)

n Do we influence each other in ways Ilike? (cooperative, responsive)

n Does this child help me achieve mygoals? (helpful, ready to get involved)

n Does this child make me feel good aboutmyself? (kind, likes me, respects me)

If your grandchild is having difficulty mak-ing friends, you might think about which ofthese qualities she has. When you askyourself these questions, are any of theanswers “no”? If so, these may be specificskills that you can work on together. Ifyour grandchild has trouble cooperating,for example, you can play games thatrequire turn taking or sharing. If yourgrandchild has trouble keeping his cool,practice smiling, making a joke, or count-ing to ten when something is upsetting.Talk about what makes a good friend, and

read children’s books about makingfriends. Above all, be patient — makingfriends takes time.

In SummaryYou can help your grandchildren have thetools they need to succeed in school. Helpthem learn how to manage homework.Teach them to value themselves and to rec-ognize their own talents and abilities. Setup opportunities for them to make friendswith other children, and be patient as theylearn to become good friends themselves.The most important thing to remember isthat children need to feel capable and lov-able. When children feel sure ofthemselves, they can achieve almost any-thing!



Playing with friendshelps children learn

to get along withothers, to negotiatewhen they disagree,

and to share andtake turns.

ReferencesArkin, C. F. (1997). Children’s friendships. (Extension publication BB-F-8). Columbus, OH:

The Ohio State University Extension.

Edwards, O.W. (1998). Helping grandkin–Grandchildren raised by grandparents: Expandingpsychology in the schools. Psychology in the Schools, 35, 173-181.

Marx, J. & Solomon, J. C. (1993). Health and school adjustment of children raised by grand-parents. Sociological Focus, 26, 81-86.

Patten, P. (1992). Developing social skills. In Todd, C.M. (Ed.), Day care center connec-tions. Urbana-Champaign, IL: University of Illinois Cooperative Extension Service.

Todd, C. (1993). Helping children cope with failure. In Todd, C.M. (Ed.), School age con-nections. Urbana-Champaign, IL: University of Illinois Cooperative ExtensionService.

Walker, J. M. T., Hoover-Dempsey, K. V., Whetsel, D. R., & Green, C. L. (2004). Parentalinvolvement in homework: A review of current research and its implications forteachers, after school program staff, and parent leaders. Cambridge, MA: HarvardFamily Research Project. Retrieved December 15, 2008, fromhttp://www.hfrp.org/publications-resources/browse-our-publications/parental-involvement-in-homework-a-review-of-current-research-and-its-implications-for-teachers-after-school-program-staff-and-parent-leaders.



The University of Georgia and Ft. Valley State University, the U.S. Department of Agriculture andcounties of the state cooperating. Cooperative Extension, the University of Georgia College ofAgricultural and Environmental Sciences, offers educational programs, assistance and materialsto all people without regard to race, color, national origin, age, gender or disability.

An EqUAl OppOrTUniTy EmplOyEr/AFFirmATiVE ACTiOn OrGAnizATiOnCOmmiTTED TO A DiVErSE WOrk FOrCE

publication # CHFD-E 59-11 revised July, 2009

Developed and released by Dr. Diane Bales, Human Development Specialist,

Cooperative Extension, The University of Georgia. The Grandparents Raising

Grandchildren series was adapted, with permission, from the Grandparents as

Parents series originally developed by the University of Kentucky Cooperative

Extension and released by Sam Quick. For more information, go to

http://www.gafamilies.org or call 1-800-ASK-UGA1.

grandparents r a i s i n g · efforts. say things like, “you worked really hard to paint that...

Documents