Grammar

If I were to ask you all if you feel that you speak proper English, the vast majority of you would undoubtedly say that you don't.

But the fact of the matter is that the idea of "proper English" is, to put it bluntly, bullshit.*

*Forgive my harsh language—I just feel strongly about this.

There are a wide variety of ways to speak English, none of them "correct" or "incorrect.” The purpose of language (whether spoken or in writing) is to communicate effectively, and as long as you're doing that, you're using English correctly.

However, the reality is that you're in college, and you're expected to use what is known as Standard English. Because of that, you should learn and practice the rules of Standard English.

Think of it like this: you wouldn't wear sweatpants to a job interview. You also wouldn't wear a suit while playing football. It isn't about being correct or incorrect—it's about being appropriate or inappropriate for the setting.

For this class (and for most of your other classes), it's appropriate to stick to Standard English.

Of course, teaching grammar can't be done in the course of one lecture. Grammar is a complicated thing, and it will be something we work on throughout the semester. However, I wanted to take a few moments and talk about the most common grammar mistake I see: commas.

How to Use Commas

At some point in your education, someone most likely told you that you should put a comma everywhere you pause.

I hate to tell you this, but that makes no sense. I understand why they told you that—it sounds like a handy and quick tip, and it makes it a lot easier to teach. But that just leads to people tossing commas into their papers senselessly, and it leads to me marking up a lot of mistakes.

What I'll tell you about commas is a bit more complicated, but the key difference between what I'm teaching you and what other teachers might've taught you is that what I'm teaching you is actually correct.

(And remember: grammar isn't something you have to memorize either. You can always turn back to these lecture notes, look at the Class Resources section, or look in your handbook when you aren't sure of something. And of course, the more you practice good grammar, the better at it you'll be.)

Here are the six most common ways to use commas (stay with me here—I promise I'll clarify these):1. To separate two independent clauses with a conjunction.2. To separate an introductory clause from the rest of the

sentence.3. To separate dependent clauses in the middle of a sentence

from an independent clause.4. To separate items in a list.5. To separate a quote from the rest of a sentence.6. In dates.

That's it. For most of your life, that’s how you’ll have to use commas. It has nothing to do with when you pause or any of that nonsense. Now, you might be a bit confused here, but I'll break down each one here and show you how they work.

1. Using commas to separate two independent clauses with a conjunction.

By this point, you're probably wondering what an independent clause is. Well, let me explain.

Sentences are made up of these things called clauses. A clause is made up of a subject and a predicate. A subject is just what it sounds like: it's what the phrase is all about (usually a noun). A predicate is pretty much the rest of the phrase (it must include a verb).

So let's say I have this sentence:

I write.

"I" is the subject; it's what the sentence is about. "Write" is the predicate; it's the verb. Because you have both a subject and a predicate, you have what's known as a clause.

The same thing with this sentence:

You read.

"You" is the subject. "Read" is the predicate. Together, they make a clause.

This type of clause in particular is known as an independent clause. An independent clause is a clause that can stand on its own. It's a complete sentence. It doesn't need anything else to be understood.

Let's say then that you want to put two of these independent clauses together. You'll need a comma and a conjunction. If you're a fan of School House Rock, you'll recall that a conjunction is "And," "But," and "Or."

So let's put these two sentences together:

I write, and you read.

There you have a proper sentence. The comma goes before the conjunction.

Let's look at a different sentence:

I'm hungry, but I'm sick.

Now it's important that you notice something here. The comma is only necessary if you have two independent clauses on either side of the conjunction.

For this sentence, here are our two independent clauses:

I'm hungry.I'm sick.

Those are both independent clauses. They can both stand on their own. Therefore, if you put them together with a conjunction, you'll need a comma.

However, if only one side of the conjunction is an independent clause, then you don't need a comma. Let's look at that:

I'm hungry but sick.

Here you only have one independent clause:

I'm hungry.

On the other side of a conjunction, the only thing you have is the word "sick," which is not an independent clause. The word "sick" by itself is not a sentence. It needs the rest of the sentence to make any sense. Therefore, you don't put a comma before the conjunction.

2. Using commas to separate introductory clauses from the rest of a sentence.

When a clause can't stand on its own, it's called a dependent clause. A dependent clause will still have a subject and a predicate, but it won't make sense on its own. When a dependent clause is at the beginning of a sentence, it’s called an introductory clause, and you must put a comma after it to separate it from an independent clause.

Let's look at this sentence for example:

Although I'm sick, I'm hungry.

By itself, the phrase "Although I'm sick" makes no sense. It can't stand on its own. It's a dependent clause.

Here's another example:

After you ran, you were tired.

By itself, "After you ran" makes no sense. It isn't a sentence. Therefore, it's a dependent clause.

Note that you only need a comma if the dependent clause comes at the beginning of a sentence. If we flip these sentences around, we no longer need a comma. For example:

You were tired after you ran.I'm hungry although I'm sick.

These are the exact same sentences, but because they're flipped, they don't need commas to separate the independent clause from the dependent clause.

Introductory clauses introduce sentences. You might also see examples like this:

Afterwards, we all got some pizza.However, the pizza was terrible.

Therefore, we all threw up.

3. Using commas to separate dependent clauses in the middle of a sentence from an independent clause.

Dependent clauses can sometimes come in the middle of a sentence, too. In those situations you have to put a comma on either side of the dependent clause, like in this example:

The girl, who slept in class, failed the test.

In this case, "The girl failed the test" is a complete, independent sentence without the phrase "who slept in class." You can kind of think of the commas here as interchangeable with parentheses. The sentence would work the same way if you did this:

The girl (who slept in class) failed the test.

4. Using commas to separate items in a list.

This is a pretty basic one. It works like this:

My sandwich had ham, cheese, and lettuce.

But when we talk about separating items in a list, I also want to note that means separate items in a list of adjectives. For example:

The handsome, charming teacher taught the class.

You need a comma between "handsome" and "charming" because it's a list of your teacher's attributes.

5. Using commas to separate a quote from the rest of a sentence.

Whenever you quote something, you need to use a comma as well as quotation marks. For example:

"Grammar is boring," Garcia says.

It also works in the reverse:

Garcia says, "Grammar is boring.“

No tricks there; it's just another use for commas.

6. Using commas in dates.

This is something you probably are already familiar with, but here's a couple of examples for you:

July 4, 1776December 4, 1987

Actually, December 4, 1987 happens to my birthday. Remember that; it's going to be an extra credit question on the quiz (I'm not joking).

So that's it. That's commas for you. Review these rules when you go to edit your papers, and you should be able to get them down. Grammar, like all things, just takes practice.