‘Good Thesis’ review

In-Class Activity

Good Theses 101

A good thesis is key to a good FRQ – in fact, look again at the rubric for grades and the criteria for an 8 or 9 – “Has a clear, sophisticated, and developed thesis.” Also – “Completely and fully addresses ALL of the terms and parts of the question.”

It is critical that you learn how to write a good thesis – not just for the AP test but for pretty much every essay that you write in the future, both high school and college. Even if you’re writing a good thesis now, you can always improve.

Soooo… we’re going to look at sample theses from the 2005 test. Here is what you should be asking yourself:

1)Is this a good thesis? Why or why not?

2)Did it answer ALL parts of the question?

3)What score do you think the person received for this essay? Why?

The FRQ prompt is as follows:

“Analyze the impact of TWO cultural and/or technological developments on European education in the period 1450 to 1600.”

Thesis #1 – note – all responses are copied EXACTLY as written.

“Two of the most impacting developments to European education were the printing press and humanism. The printing press made books more available which caused a chain reaction that positively influenced the education in Europe. Humanism broadened the perspective of students and other members of society.”

1) Is this a good thesis? Why or why not?2) Did it answer ALL parts of the question?3) What score do you think the person received for this essay? Why?

This person received a 9. Why? According to the graders, “This essay offers a clear, valid thesis before proceeding to a comprehensive discussion of the printing press and humanism and their impact on education.”

The FRQ prompt is as follows:

“Analyze the impact of TWO cultural and/or technological developments on European education in the period 1450 to 1600.”

Thesis #2

“The most important development that had the biggest contribution was the invention of the printing press by Johann Gutenburg. The Renaissance and toleration of leader at the time also contributed to the developments of education.”

1) Is this a good thesis? Why or why not?2) Did it answer ALL parts of the question?3) What score do you think the person received for this essay? Why?

This person received a 5. The graders state, “This is an excellent discussion of the printing press and its impact on education. However, although the thesis promises to discuss the Renaissance, the essay fails to do so. Instead, the second half of the essay veers off into an incorrect analysis of the support for free speech in the period. This kept the response from achieving a score of 6. It received a 5 rather than a 4, however, because the discussion of the one relevant development—the printing press—and its influence on education is very thorough.” So, this person got a 5 mainly because of the argument, not the thesis.

The FRQ prompt is as follows:

“Analyze the impact of TWO cultural and/or technological developments on European education in the period 1450 to 1600.”

Thesis #3

“The late 1400s was a time of European exploration. Columbus discovered the West Indies in 1492. This caused a surge of exploration throughout Europe. The compass became a great tool for explorers. The world learned that the Earth was round when the first vessel sailed all the way around the world. Many educational advances took place, like the discovery of a new continent. For some Europeans, new land meant a culture change as Britain went to New England and the Spanish went to Florida. The French befriended Indians and became hunters and fishers.”

1) Is this a good thesis? Why or why not?2) Did it answer ALL parts of the question?3) What score do you think the person received for this essay? Why?

This person received a 2. Why? “This essay has no thesis. It discusses two developments (exploration and the printing press) in vague terms. It relates these two developments to education but only in the most general way.”

Sooo….

Remember – your thesis sets the tone for the entire essay. The reader will already have an idea of grade you should receive after reading your essay. If you write a poor thesis, the reader will believe the rest of your essay will be poor and it will be hard to convince him/her otherwise.

Also remember – it’s hard to write a good thesis if you don’t know what the prompt is talking about content-wise. So you need to study!

“Good” Thesis Activity

• How to write a good thesis - go over some sample students' theses from past years, while paying attention to the prompt. Then have students discuss which is good and which is bad, and predict what score they received on the test. Have students look at their own essays and fix the thesis.

• Will write a thesis statement for the following prompts:a. Analyze the economic, technological, and institutional factors responsible for western Europe's domination of world trade from 1650 to 1800.

b. Compare and contrast Enlightenment and Romantic views of the relationship between God and the individual.

FRQ Review (WKSHT)• Question/Prompt:

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• Analyze the prompt:• Circle the verbs • Box the topics (boxed items must make it into your thesis to stay on topic)• Underline the constraints (constraints can be in thesis, but they SHOULD be

used or eluded to in your topic sentences of body paragraphs.) ____• Specific parts of the prompt (Based on what you circled, boxed, & underlined,

what EXACTLY do you have to state in your thesis to answer ALL parts of the prompt):

• *You might not use all the numbers! If you need more numbers, add more.– 1. 2. 3. 4…..

FRQ Review cont…

• Brainstorm:• • • • • • Thesis (First Draft):

• Body Paragraph #1 • Theme/Topic/Category #1 from your Thesis: • List at least TWO specific pieces of EVIDENCE you will use in this

paragraph (you obviously may use more if you are able):1. ___________________

a) Link to Thesis:2.___________________

a) Link to Thesis:• Write your topic sentence that presents an ARGUMENT to SUPPORT your

thesis:

FRQ Review cont…

• Revised Thesis: • Argument Body Paragraph

#1:______________________________________________________________ + • Argument Body Paragraph #2:

_________________________________________________________________ + • Argument Body Paragraph #3

_________________________________________________________________ + • = Thesis (now write it all out as a thesis statement):

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• Write a Complex-split Thesis (Although… because….)

FRQ Review cont…