glimpses - wordpress.com
TRANSCRIPT
the various authors and contributors to this newsletter
(SAHAS) do not necessarily reflect the opinions,
beliefs and viewpoints of Dhanak of Humanity.
My Mom-In-Law Rocks!
Anwar Ahsan
My earliest memory of Dr. Mrs Savita Joshi, later on to be my mother in law, whom I fondly
called SJ was playing the gracious host in her erstwhile house in Ashok Marg, Lucknow. The
year was 2001 and I was still recovering from the loss of my mother who had passed away a
couple of months ago.
her kind words and an ever
welcoming nature. Soon we
bonded over sweets, samosas
her night duty as PRO at King
George Medical College. On the
way we would discuss things like
friends during a drive to some
place. That was a beginning of a
beautiful relationship with her, we
were and will always remain the
best of friends.
SJ always exuded a comforting calmness and looked always in control. Apart from the early
death of her husband, she had overcome many challenges in her life including cancer, which
struck her while she was getting her life back on track. Never did I see any trace of regret or
sadness, she took everything on her chin and smiled her way through.
My wife, Himani (sorry to mention her so late !) was my colleague at Confederation of Indian
Industry, Lucknow. Over the next few years, our relationship would grow into a beautiful
friendship and finally marriage. Needless to say, I became close to SJ as well. In the meantime,
SJ started looking for prospective grooms for Himani. She had the confidence in me to drive her
to various pahadi households in Lucknow to meet various families.
In 2005, Himani got a job opportunity in Delhi and she moved on to greener pastures. SJ was
hesitant initially to let her go, but then she had always taught Himani to be independent. While I
switched jobs, I continued to work in Lucknow for another year.
In 2006, I got an offer to work in Delhi and I thought it was an opportune time for me to switch
gears in my professional career. A few weekend meetings with Himani and we decided to get
married. Obviously, we had the apprehension whether our parents will agree or not. Himani had
entrusted me with the responsibility of breaking the news to her mother.
A few weeks later, I was on a train to Lucknow to meet
and tell SJ and my father about my decision of
marrying Himani. During my 3 day visit, I would have
visited SJ at least half a dozen times but could not
muster the courage to break the news. On the other
hand, I could not do the same to my father.
Finally, when I boarded the train and reached the
outskirts of Lucknow, I decided to call her and tell her
of our decision. She was angry not at our decision but at the way I was informing her. Till her
last days, she would recount that conversation and laugh aloud. The next morning, we talked at
length and SJ agreed on the condition that I need to make my father also agree to our marriage.
I breathed a sigh of relief as half the battle was won. However it will take me another year to
convince my Father ! Finally, in 2008 we received the approval to get married.
SJ however still had an uphill task at her hand, she had to inform all her relatives. Belonging to
a Kumaoni Brahmin family, her decision to get a Muslim Son in Law was very radical. She
received a lot of opposition but SJ stood her ground, politely and with a smile. Her principle in
life was simple – she could not discriminate with anyone basis religion. My admiration for her
grew leaps and bounds in the way she gracefully handled the situation and got us married. She
played an instrumental role in getting me inducted in the family and gain acceptance. I am
pleased to say that everyone soon accepted me with open arms in the family.
She respected all religions and practiced humanity in the truest spirit. She was above caste,
creed and religion. You don’t get to see many like her!
During this time, she also got in touch with Dhanak and was mighty
impressed with what Asif, Ranu and others in the group were doing
for facilitating Inter Faith Marriages. During the next decade she
would often attend meetings hosted by Dhanak..In our social circle if
an inter faith alliance was on cards, she was always there to listen,
guide and persuade parents to support their children. I consider her
as a role model for parents who are faced with the dilemma of letting
their children choose the partner of their choice. She stood like the
Rock of Gibraltar for me and Himani, shielding us from the wrath and
unpleasant conversation and responses of relatives. While informing
her relatives she said- Main Himani ki shadi karwa rahi hoon (I am
getting Himani married). This made all the difference. When parents
support you, the nay sayers are automatically disarmed, all that is left with them is some gossip!
In 2010, Himani was faced with a very complicated pregnancy. I turned to SJ again, she was
back in Gurgaon to help us sail through. Since we were more like friends, we did have our fair
share of fights and differences but also make up soon. When my son, Ayaan was born, I again
requested her to stay on, she knew that she will lose her independence and will have to
compromise her intellectual pursuits but SJ willingly decided to stay with us.
SJ whole-heartedly, dedicated herself to the care and upbringing of Ayaan. A few years later her
knees gave way, we deliberated but she decided to delay her surgery as Ayaan was still very
young. We undertook many road trips to the mountains and despite having major issues with
her knees she never complained during long drives. Being independent all her life, SJ ensured
that she handled her health issues to the maximum possible on her own. A botched up knee
surgery resulted in numerous follow up knee surgeries. With all the pain associated with these
surgeries, she learned to walk again every time. She was always patient and determined to
ensure that there is no compromise in her quality of life. While I was overcome by emotion often,
SJ smiled her way through, like she always did when faced with a challenge !
SJ made friends wherever she went, the hospital,
Ayan’s school, with my friends, the Security
guards, the house maids. She had this remarkable
ability to make everyone feel comfortable. In Dec
2018 she was diagnosed with a terminal illness.
Some of the biggest doctors gave her only 3
months to live. Though we never disclosed, I am
sure she knew about her illness. But as she always
did, SJ decided to take this on as well. She
responded well to treatment and surgeries and was soon up on her feet, ready to undertake a
few more road trips with us. Her steely resolve enabled her to continue for 2 more years. She
continued to fight but succumbed to the ailment in October last year.
Losing her was like losing my mother again and I underwent the pain of losing a very close friend
and confidante. I will always regret that my daughter could not spend more childhood daysunder
her love . She had so much to imbibe. I promise I will stand with my children when they need
me. I will be for them just the way SJ was for us. She has left a strong legacy.
Often I wake up in the middle of the night and feel that SJ is lying right there, beside me. I know
for sure that she is shining bright in the sky and looking on us.
Till we meet again SJ, Adios!
The Love G. Had (Song for Valentine's Day)
- Pramod Menon
The love G. had for T. was bad; It made him choke, it made him mad. So off he went to see her dad. To him G. said, I need your gal; I want to have her as my pal. He also told his sweetheart’s mum, I want to have her as my chum. Don’t be silly, said the dad; We’re not the ones to ask, my lad; Our dottie alone is the one who can say If it’s going to be yes, or maybe, nay. So G. then went to see his love,
His own beloved turtle-dove. When T. was told of G.’s intent, She gave with ease her full consent. Her father smiled, her mother beamed, And all was well, or so it seemed. But a nosy neighbour heard their words, And gathered all the local turds. They spoke to people in the shops, And one of them - he called the cops. It seems there was a law in the land That forbade G. from seeking the hand Of a cutie from another creed Or a sweetie of another breed Than that of his ancestors’ seed. That law would give anyone a scare, And things looked bad for the amorous pair. But a learned judge who heard the case, A grey-haired man with an honest face, Cleared his throat, and uttered these words: Don’t stand in the way of these two lovebirds. ‘Tis true there is a law like this buried in history’s pages From a time we now know to be the Dark Ages; There are stupid laws like this a-plenty; This one was made in Twenty- Twenty!
How far can you go???
- Ajaz Ahmed Siddiqui
One of the famous poet of Medieval times Jall ad-Dn Muhammad Rm (Rumi) once said - "Love is the whole thing. We are only pieces" This simple statement of him written 8 centuries ago still and will forever hold true. It directly implies the deep meaning of our purpose in life, the reason of our existence in this vast universe. We living beings are mere dots connecting the open ends to our otherwise empty lives, and thus making it fuller. More the number of dots, fuller our lives would be with love. We are just pieces of a bigger, simpler jigsaw puzzle, i.e. our lives. And what Rumi said here, is just the right set of words to live by. Love, an eternal feeling which doesn't die down ever, lives on forever, easy to find but hard to hold on to in difficult times like these, is ubiquitous. We just have to dig deeper, with undying vigor, and persistence, until we find it. And once we do, we need to hold on to it, persevere it, remain committed to it, and shouldn't let it go away ever.
Swetha, Abeerah & Ajaz While there are several forms of Love, there is one, which was once treated as a Social Taboo, but is now the most talked about form of Love, 'The Romantic Love' - the emotional feeling resulting due to strong attraction towards another person. While all forms of love are considered pure, this one has been treated differently and have been regulated constantly, mostly by the society, and then by individuals. In present times, where Romantic Love is treated as an enemy, and when treacherous efforts are made to stop it and confine it to barriers of religion and caste, our responsibility becomes more vivid. It becomes our duty to uphold the integrity and dignity of decisions our heart makes when we fall in Love. Loving someone with our whole heart isn't just an entitlement which we can for-go when it doesn't suit your way of life or when hard times pass by. It is the commitment, the strength, which holds two people together in difficult times and maintains their sanity. It is the torchbearer which keeps you afloat, keeps you assured of your righteousness like the radiant light at the end of the tunnel called Life. And if it doesn't do any of this, it isn't Love. It was just a blow of wind, which will remain short-lived. Love is both easy and tough at the same time. Easy: because you can find it easily, without much of an effort most of the times. Tough: because it's far more difficult to hold on to it, commit to it, standby with it during arduous times, when it comes with its own diverse set of challenges as time passes by. Committing to love someone forever is a two way street, you need to know if your partner is willing to take that leap with you, and ready to go to highest of the peaks and deepest depths of
the oceans, with you, TOGETHER. And once you do, half of your battle will be won already, you will have courage to be fearless and ready for what may come. The second half of the battle is the formal attestation of your Love. As per civil society norms, the process of making such commitments between two consenting partners is termed as Marriage and different societies have devised different ways to do it, with set of diverse guidelines and regulations. While it's necessary to abide by those norms, as part of your civil duty, it is also important to know what your rights encompass. Then only you will be able to make an informed decision about you and your partner. And if the rules are strict it is evident that you know what it would mean to your relationship and the efforts it would need from your side, and the preparedness to go ahead with your decisions and remain consistent with it. We, Indians, have deeper roots into the cultural fabric of religion, caste, and orientation. This linkage mostly results in emotional trauma and thus causes hindrance in our decision-making ability when the actual time comes to make a call. With onset of newer regressive and stricter laws around inter-caste and inter-religious relationships, they may further act as catalyst to weaken up the aspirations of many, who had made up their minds to be together. Thus, it becomes far more vital to know that you have come afar and there's no backing out of this. You have to fight it with all your will and win it, that's the only way out, this is your Journey and you have to finish it together. You are here because you are different, you do not confine to usual societal boundaries, and thus it becomes more important for you to accept the Challenge. So when you think you love someone, Ask yourself if you are willing to take it to the wire, to invest your whole self into it, without thinking of what the outcome be, without worrying about future, and to stand together no matter what comes. Ask yourself and be ready with the answer - 'How far can you go???' The journey of love has no end. I would just say:
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7 Tips for Young Women in Inter-faith marriages
- Akanksha Sharma
•Boosts your confidence like nothing else.
•Prevents you from budging down on unacceptable things just because your finances are being taken care by some one else.
•Enhances harmony in relationship as the load of earning is shared.
•At times, it enables you to buy your happiness.
Be financially independent
•Helps in maintaining transparency and trust in the relationship.
•Saves you from mental turmoil in the longer run.
•Makes people re-think before they try to belittle you or ask for unnecessary things.
Be assertive – “Say it, if you don’t like it”
•Helps in avoiding the spiral of following rituals that you don’t approve.
•Avoids hurting partner and his family later when you can no longer fake it.
•Gives you chance to discuss the religious boundaries for your next generation with your partner.
Never fake acceptance of rituals/practices of partner’s religion/family
•Reduces arguments and promotes healthy discussions with your partner.
•Avoids unnecessary emotional hurt caused due to expectations.
•Keeps the spark in relationship alive.
Accept the fact that people’s opinions/thoughts change with time and age
•Gives you and your partner some space and time for yourself to reflect on your life.
•Prevents you from falling prey to depression when your partner is occupied with something else.
•Keeps you updated and thus makes you interesting.
•Enhances confidence and belief in yourself.
Don't give-up your own world – Friends/Hobbies/Interests/Opinions/Choices
•Smashes the agenda of people planning to target your relationship.
•Enhances mutual love and respect.
•Prevents you from putting your partner in distress situation while you succumb to emotional pressure.
Own your decision and be proud of your relationship
•Your small decision is a giant leap against patriarchy.
•Breaks the pre-conceived notion that you will convert, change your name or live as per your partner's religion.
•Prevents the arguments between couple caused due to you compromising enough.
•Enhances the chances of cementing the relationship with parents.
Never give up your own identity
Suaib & Akanksha Mohit Nagar & Amreen Malik
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Ram and Parveen
Saba and Suman
-Saba Fatima
Oh Dear World! What haven’t you gone through?
To deny us so stoutly, A love that is rare, a love that is true!
Have you not faced the cruelest wars? Where countries were torn apart and
humanity was put on fire, Having failed to put off the flames of
hatred, How can you still disapprove of the love
that our hearts desire?
Oh Judge of mankind, who wears the mask of God!
Mean, Cold, Equivocal and Prejudiced.
We are tired of your philanthropic ploys and defensive diplomacy,
Listen to the demands of a pathetically doomed generation,
We want what is our right and are not begging for any mercy.
Oh witness of all things horrid and
Great! Of Alexander’s birth and Caesar’s
death, Of the miracles of Christ and the spread
of Caliphate, Of the discoveries of science and bloom
of the Industrial age, What has shackled you still?
Is it religious zealotry, political ambitions or the race for more money?
Or is it the darkness of the dark ages that hasn’t yet left the narrow minds of
many? Whatever it is, shove it aside and drive it far away,
And give us a reason to breathe; give us a purpose to stay.
Oh consolidation of all intellectual
minds! Search in the skeletons of the pharaohs;
and in the ruins of Athens and Rome, The fate of all that glory, the result of all
that power, Reincarnate your decomposed souls
and break the barriers, And For God sake, let us love; for love is the prime need, the need of the hour.
SAHAS 2020 : Glimpses
SAHAS 2020 : Glimpses
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EXPECTATION VS ACCEPTANCE
- Anup and Rubina
As soon as a child takes birth, parent’s and relative’s expectations from him/her come into play
and start burdening his/her life. Parents start conditioning child’s behavior as per their will and
start enforcing their thoughts upon their children. They consider their children as some sort of
investment and from this beginning only problem starts. They do not accept or, we can say, are
not able to accept their children as individuals; rather, children are considered parent’s property.
So, expectations overrule acceptance and when these expectations are not met, troubles start.
If expectation is replaced by acceptance, then our society would be much happier and a more
dynamic place to live in.
Once children grow up, they should understand the very same thing and should not expect
anything from their parents. Many couples start complaining when they are abandoned by their
parents. They should accept their decision and wait and should always be ready to accept them
if ever their decision changes.
Hence, if we replace expectations by acceptance then I suppose our society would be more
diverse and happier.
STATUTE OF UNITY
-Surendra Kapoor
Caste based reservations, available since last almost 70 years, have failed to change status of masses of poor and deprived. Except few leaders, who have amassed huge wealth in name of poor, poor have become poorer with no change in their status. However this caste based reservations system has divided country more than any times in history. We have division based on religion, Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian, Buddhist, Jain etc. We have division based on schedule caste, backward class, backward tribes etc. Daily a new group comes in claiming reservations; like Jats, Rajputs, Marathas, Patidars, Dangars etc. Today there is clash for reservations, tomorrow there will be clashes for percentage in reservations. Country will be divided into hundreds of fighting groups leading to chaos. This wrong policy of government will result in ‘tukde-tukde’ of India instead of one United India. This is against very basis of democracy ‘equality’ and basic of constitution ‘secularism’. Dr. Farhat & Surendra Ji Ultimate criteria of living is economic status. A rich of any caste or religion is equally respected as of any other caste. Poor of upper caste will die of hunger as poor of lower caste. To stop this disintegration of the country it necessary that reservations should only be based on economic status. All poor should be treated equally, provided with free education and health services based and other benefits. Country should be totally united. All citizens of country should be just INDIAN. All mentions of caste, religion, tribe etc. should be deleted from all government records. Let a new law, ‘Statute of Unity’ be passed to unite country as one great nation and do away with this gross discrimination. All surnames should be deleted. Only second name should be there. It can be mothers or fathers name. Change has to come from top as masses are too poor to act or change this most obnoxious caste divide.
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SAHAS 2014: Remembering Swami Agnivesh Ji
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Shabana Siddiqui
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SAHAS 2021
Compilation by
Shabana Siddiqui
(SAHAS) do not necessarily reflect the opinions,
beliefs and viewpoints of Dhanak of Humanity.
My Mom-In-Law Rocks!
Anwar Ahsan
My earliest memory of Dr. Mrs Savita Joshi, later on to be my mother in law, whom I fondly
called SJ was playing the gracious host in her erstwhile house in Ashok Marg, Lucknow. The
year was 2001 and I was still recovering from the loss of my mother who had passed away a
couple of months ago.
her kind words and an ever
welcoming nature. Soon we
bonded over sweets, samosas
her night duty as PRO at King
George Medical College. On the
way we would discuss things like
friends during a drive to some
place. That was a beginning of a
beautiful relationship with her, we
were and will always remain the
best of friends.
SJ always exuded a comforting calmness and looked always in control. Apart from the early
death of her husband, she had overcome many challenges in her life including cancer, which
struck her while she was getting her life back on track. Never did I see any trace of regret or
sadness, she took everything on her chin and smiled her way through.
My wife, Himani (sorry to mention her so late !) was my colleague at Confederation of Indian
Industry, Lucknow. Over the next few years, our relationship would grow into a beautiful
friendship and finally marriage. Needless to say, I became close to SJ as well. In the meantime,
SJ started looking for prospective grooms for Himani. She had the confidence in me to drive her
to various pahadi households in Lucknow to meet various families.
In 2005, Himani got a job opportunity in Delhi and she moved on to greener pastures. SJ was
hesitant initially to let her go, but then she had always taught Himani to be independent. While I
switched jobs, I continued to work in Lucknow for another year.
In 2006, I got an offer to work in Delhi and I thought it was an opportune time for me to switch
gears in my professional career. A few weekend meetings with Himani and we decided to get
married. Obviously, we had the apprehension whether our parents will agree or not. Himani had
entrusted me with the responsibility of breaking the news to her mother.
A few weeks later, I was on a train to Lucknow to meet
and tell SJ and my father about my decision of
marrying Himani. During my 3 day visit, I would have
visited SJ at least half a dozen times but could not
muster the courage to break the news. On the other
hand, I could not do the same to my father.
Finally, when I boarded the train and reached the
outskirts of Lucknow, I decided to call her and tell her
of our decision. She was angry not at our decision but at the way I was informing her. Till her
last days, she would recount that conversation and laugh aloud. The next morning, we talked at
length and SJ agreed on the condition that I need to make my father also agree to our marriage.
I breathed a sigh of relief as half the battle was won. However it will take me another year to
convince my Father ! Finally, in 2008 we received the approval to get married.
SJ however still had an uphill task at her hand, she had to inform all her relatives. Belonging to
a Kumaoni Brahmin family, her decision to get a Muslim Son in Law was very radical. She
received a lot of opposition but SJ stood her ground, politely and with a smile. Her principle in
life was simple – she could not discriminate with anyone basis religion. My admiration for her
grew leaps and bounds in the way she gracefully handled the situation and got us married. She
played an instrumental role in getting me inducted in the family and gain acceptance. I am
pleased to say that everyone soon accepted me with open arms in the family.
She respected all religions and practiced humanity in the truest spirit. She was above caste,
creed and religion. You don’t get to see many like her!
During this time, she also got in touch with Dhanak and was mighty
impressed with what Asif, Ranu and others in the group were doing
for facilitating Inter Faith Marriages. During the next decade she
would often attend meetings hosted by Dhanak..In our social circle if
an inter faith alliance was on cards, she was always there to listen,
guide and persuade parents to support their children. I consider her
as a role model for parents who are faced with the dilemma of letting
their children choose the partner of their choice. She stood like the
Rock of Gibraltar for me and Himani, shielding us from the wrath and
unpleasant conversation and responses of relatives. While informing
her relatives she said- Main Himani ki shadi karwa rahi hoon (I am
getting Himani married). This made all the difference. When parents
support you, the nay sayers are automatically disarmed, all that is left with them is some gossip!
In 2010, Himani was faced with a very complicated pregnancy. I turned to SJ again, she was
back in Gurgaon to help us sail through. Since we were more like friends, we did have our fair
share of fights and differences but also make up soon. When my son, Ayaan was born, I again
requested her to stay on, she knew that she will lose her independence and will have to
compromise her intellectual pursuits but SJ willingly decided to stay with us.
SJ whole-heartedly, dedicated herself to the care and upbringing of Ayaan. A few years later her
knees gave way, we deliberated but she decided to delay her surgery as Ayaan was still very
young. We undertook many road trips to the mountains and despite having major issues with
her knees she never complained during long drives. Being independent all her life, SJ ensured
that she handled her health issues to the maximum possible on her own. A botched up knee
surgery resulted in numerous follow up knee surgeries. With all the pain associated with these
surgeries, she learned to walk again every time. She was always patient and determined to
ensure that there is no compromise in her quality of life. While I was overcome by emotion often,
SJ smiled her way through, like she always did when faced with a challenge !
SJ made friends wherever she went, the hospital,
Ayan’s school, with my friends, the Security
guards, the house maids. She had this remarkable
ability to make everyone feel comfortable. In Dec
2018 she was diagnosed with a terminal illness.
Some of the biggest doctors gave her only 3
months to live. Though we never disclosed, I am
sure she knew about her illness. But as she always
did, SJ decided to take this on as well. She
responded well to treatment and surgeries and was soon up on her feet, ready to undertake a
few more road trips with us. Her steely resolve enabled her to continue for 2 more years. She
continued to fight but succumbed to the ailment in October last year.
Losing her was like losing my mother again and I underwent the pain of losing a very close friend
and confidante. I will always regret that my daughter could not spend more childhood daysunder
her love . She had so much to imbibe. I promise I will stand with my children when they need
me. I will be for them just the way SJ was for us. She has left a strong legacy.
Often I wake up in the middle of the night and feel that SJ is lying right there, beside me. I know
for sure that she is shining bright in the sky and looking on us.
Till we meet again SJ, Adios!
The Love G. Had (Song for Valentine's Day)
- Pramod Menon
The love G. had for T. was bad; It made him choke, it made him mad. So off he went to see her dad. To him G. said, I need your gal; I want to have her as my pal. He also told his sweetheart’s mum, I want to have her as my chum. Don’t be silly, said the dad; We’re not the ones to ask, my lad; Our dottie alone is the one who can say If it’s going to be yes, or maybe, nay. So G. then went to see his love,
His own beloved turtle-dove. When T. was told of G.’s intent, She gave with ease her full consent. Her father smiled, her mother beamed, And all was well, or so it seemed. But a nosy neighbour heard their words, And gathered all the local turds. They spoke to people in the shops, And one of them - he called the cops. It seems there was a law in the land That forbade G. from seeking the hand Of a cutie from another creed Or a sweetie of another breed Than that of his ancestors’ seed. That law would give anyone a scare, And things looked bad for the amorous pair. But a learned judge who heard the case, A grey-haired man with an honest face, Cleared his throat, and uttered these words: Don’t stand in the way of these two lovebirds. ‘Tis true there is a law like this buried in history’s pages From a time we now know to be the Dark Ages; There are stupid laws like this a-plenty; This one was made in Twenty- Twenty!
How far can you go???
- Ajaz Ahmed Siddiqui
One of the famous poet of Medieval times Jall ad-Dn Muhammad Rm (Rumi) once said - "Love is the whole thing. We are only pieces" This simple statement of him written 8 centuries ago still and will forever hold true. It directly implies the deep meaning of our purpose in life, the reason of our existence in this vast universe. We living beings are mere dots connecting the open ends to our otherwise empty lives, and thus making it fuller. More the number of dots, fuller our lives would be with love. We are just pieces of a bigger, simpler jigsaw puzzle, i.e. our lives. And what Rumi said here, is just the right set of words to live by. Love, an eternal feeling which doesn't die down ever, lives on forever, easy to find but hard to hold on to in difficult times like these, is ubiquitous. We just have to dig deeper, with undying vigor, and persistence, until we find it. And once we do, we need to hold on to it, persevere it, remain committed to it, and shouldn't let it go away ever.
Swetha, Abeerah & Ajaz While there are several forms of Love, there is one, which was once treated as a Social Taboo, but is now the most talked about form of Love, 'The Romantic Love' - the emotional feeling resulting due to strong attraction towards another person. While all forms of love are considered pure, this one has been treated differently and have been regulated constantly, mostly by the society, and then by individuals. In present times, where Romantic Love is treated as an enemy, and when treacherous efforts are made to stop it and confine it to barriers of religion and caste, our responsibility becomes more vivid. It becomes our duty to uphold the integrity and dignity of decisions our heart makes when we fall in Love. Loving someone with our whole heart isn't just an entitlement which we can for-go when it doesn't suit your way of life or when hard times pass by. It is the commitment, the strength, which holds two people together in difficult times and maintains their sanity. It is the torchbearer which keeps you afloat, keeps you assured of your righteousness like the radiant light at the end of the tunnel called Life. And if it doesn't do any of this, it isn't Love. It was just a blow of wind, which will remain short-lived. Love is both easy and tough at the same time. Easy: because you can find it easily, without much of an effort most of the times. Tough: because it's far more difficult to hold on to it, commit to it, standby with it during arduous times, when it comes with its own diverse set of challenges as time passes by. Committing to love someone forever is a two way street, you need to know if your partner is willing to take that leap with you, and ready to go to highest of the peaks and deepest depths of
the oceans, with you, TOGETHER. And once you do, half of your battle will be won already, you will have courage to be fearless and ready for what may come. The second half of the battle is the formal attestation of your Love. As per civil society norms, the process of making such commitments between two consenting partners is termed as Marriage and different societies have devised different ways to do it, with set of diverse guidelines and regulations. While it's necessary to abide by those norms, as part of your civil duty, it is also important to know what your rights encompass. Then only you will be able to make an informed decision about you and your partner. And if the rules are strict it is evident that you know what it would mean to your relationship and the efforts it would need from your side, and the preparedness to go ahead with your decisions and remain consistent with it. We, Indians, have deeper roots into the cultural fabric of religion, caste, and orientation. This linkage mostly results in emotional trauma and thus causes hindrance in our decision-making ability when the actual time comes to make a call. With onset of newer regressive and stricter laws around inter-caste and inter-religious relationships, they may further act as catalyst to weaken up the aspirations of many, who had made up their minds to be together. Thus, it becomes far more vital to know that you have come afar and there's no backing out of this. You have to fight it with all your will and win it, that's the only way out, this is your Journey and you have to finish it together. You are here because you are different, you do not confine to usual societal boundaries, and thus it becomes more important for you to accept the Challenge. So when you think you love someone, Ask yourself if you are willing to take it to the wire, to invest your whole self into it, without thinking of what the outcome be, without worrying about future, and to stand together no matter what comes. Ask yourself and be ready with the answer - 'How far can you go???' The journey of love has no end. I would just say:
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7 Tips for Young Women in Inter-faith marriages
- Akanksha Sharma
•Boosts your confidence like nothing else.
•Prevents you from budging down on unacceptable things just because your finances are being taken care by some one else.
•Enhances harmony in relationship as the load of earning is shared.
•At times, it enables you to buy your happiness.
Be financially independent
•Helps in maintaining transparency and trust in the relationship.
•Saves you from mental turmoil in the longer run.
•Makes people re-think before they try to belittle you or ask for unnecessary things.
Be assertive – “Say it, if you don’t like it”
•Helps in avoiding the spiral of following rituals that you don’t approve.
•Avoids hurting partner and his family later when you can no longer fake it.
•Gives you chance to discuss the religious boundaries for your next generation with your partner.
Never fake acceptance of rituals/practices of partner’s religion/family
•Reduces arguments and promotes healthy discussions with your partner.
•Avoids unnecessary emotional hurt caused due to expectations.
•Keeps the spark in relationship alive.
Accept the fact that people’s opinions/thoughts change with time and age
•Gives you and your partner some space and time for yourself to reflect on your life.
•Prevents you from falling prey to depression when your partner is occupied with something else.
•Keeps you updated and thus makes you interesting.
•Enhances confidence and belief in yourself.
Don't give-up your own world – Friends/Hobbies/Interests/Opinions/Choices
•Smashes the agenda of people planning to target your relationship.
•Enhances mutual love and respect.
•Prevents you from putting your partner in distress situation while you succumb to emotional pressure.
Own your decision and be proud of your relationship
•Your small decision is a giant leap against patriarchy.
•Breaks the pre-conceived notion that you will convert, change your name or live as per your partner's religion.
•Prevents the arguments between couple caused due to you compromising enough.
•Enhances the chances of cementing the relationship with parents.
Never give up your own identity
Suaib & Akanksha Mohit Nagar & Amreen Malik
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Ram and Parveen
Saba and Suman
-Saba Fatima
Oh Dear World! What haven’t you gone through?
To deny us so stoutly, A love that is rare, a love that is true!
Have you not faced the cruelest wars? Where countries were torn apart and
humanity was put on fire, Having failed to put off the flames of
hatred, How can you still disapprove of the love
that our hearts desire?
Oh Judge of mankind, who wears the mask of God!
Mean, Cold, Equivocal and Prejudiced.
We are tired of your philanthropic ploys and defensive diplomacy,
Listen to the demands of a pathetically doomed generation,
We want what is our right and are not begging for any mercy.
Oh witness of all things horrid and
Great! Of Alexander’s birth and Caesar’s
death, Of the miracles of Christ and the spread
of Caliphate, Of the discoveries of science and bloom
of the Industrial age, What has shackled you still?
Is it religious zealotry, political ambitions or the race for more money?
Or is it the darkness of the dark ages that hasn’t yet left the narrow minds of
many? Whatever it is, shove it aside and drive it far away,
And give us a reason to breathe; give us a purpose to stay.
Oh consolidation of all intellectual
minds! Search in the skeletons of the pharaohs;
and in the ruins of Athens and Rome, The fate of all that glory, the result of all
that power, Reincarnate your decomposed souls
and break the barriers, And For God sake, let us love; for love is the prime need, the need of the hour.
SAHAS 2020 : Glimpses
SAHAS 2020 : Glimpses
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EXPECTATION VS ACCEPTANCE
- Anup and Rubina
As soon as a child takes birth, parent’s and relative’s expectations from him/her come into play
and start burdening his/her life. Parents start conditioning child’s behavior as per their will and
start enforcing their thoughts upon their children. They consider their children as some sort of
investment and from this beginning only problem starts. They do not accept or, we can say, are
not able to accept their children as individuals; rather, children are considered parent’s property.
So, expectations overrule acceptance and when these expectations are not met, troubles start.
If expectation is replaced by acceptance, then our society would be much happier and a more
dynamic place to live in.
Once children grow up, they should understand the very same thing and should not expect
anything from their parents. Many couples start complaining when they are abandoned by their
parents. They should accept their decision and wait and should always be ready to accept them
if ever their decision changes.
Hence, if we replace expectations by acceptance then I suppose our society would be more
diverse and happier.
STATUTE OF UNITY
-Surendra Kapoor
Caste based reservations, available since last almost 70 years, have failed to change status of masses of poor and deprived. Except few leaders, who have amassed huge wealth in name of poor, poor have become poorer with no change in their status. However this caste based reservations system has divided country more than any times in history. We have division based on religion, Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian, Buddhist, Jain etc. We have division based on schedule caste, backward class, backward tribes etc. Daily a new group comes in claiming reservations; like Jats, Rajputs, Marathas, Patidars, Dangars etc. Today there is clash for reservations, tomorrow there will be clashes for percentage in reservations. Country will be divided into hundreds of fighting groups leading to chaos. This wrong policy of government will result in ‘tukde-tukde’ of India instead of one United India. This is against very basis of democracy ‘equality’ and basic of constitution ‘secularism’. Dr. Farhat & Surendra Ji Ultimate criteria of living is economic status. A rich of any caste or religion is equally respected as of any other caste. Poor of upper caste will die of hunger as poor of lower caste. To stop this disintegration of the country it necessary that reservations should only be based on economic status. All poor should be treated equally, provided with free education and health services based and other benefits. Country should be totally united. All citizens of country should be just INDIAN. All mentions of caste, religion, tribe etc. should be deleted from all government records. Let a new law, ‘Statute of Unity’ be passed to unite country as one great nation and do away with this gross discrimination. All surnames should be deleted. Only second name should be there. It can be mothers or fathers name. Change has to come from top as masses are too poor to act or change this most obnoxious caste divide.
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SAHAS 2014: Remembering Swami Agnivesh Ji
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SAHAS 2021
Compilation by
Shabana Siddiqui