ghm section ia part 5

7/28/2019 Ghm Section Ia Part 5

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Part 5: Recorded by SarayubalaDevi, Udbodhan Office, Calcutta

22nd July, 1918

It was half past seven in the evening when I arrived at the houseof the Holy Mother. Only two months back she had returned fromher village home, emaciated by a protracted attack of malaria.She greeted me with her usual smile and said, "It is a very warm

day. Take a little rest and refresh yourself. What about yoursister? Has she reached home?"

Devotee: Yes, Mother. I started after she had reached home.

Mother: Take this fan from Radhu, and rub this medicated oil onmy back. There are heat-blisters all over my body.

As I started rubbing the oil, the bell rang for evening worship.The Holy Mother sat on her bed and saluted God with foldedhands. Other devotees went to the shrine room to witness theworship.

The Mother said, "Everybody says regretfully, 'There is so muchmisery in the world. We have prayed so much to God, but stillthere is no end of misery.' But misery is only the gift of God. It isthe symbol of His compassion."

That day my mind had been greatly troubled. Did she really knowit and therefore address those words to me? The Mother continued, "Who has not suffered from misery in this world?



Brinde, the woman devotee of Krishna, said to him, 'Who saysthat you are compassionate? In your incarnation as Rama youmade Sita weep for you all through her life. And in thisincarnation of Krishna, Radha has been weeping on your account.

Your parents suffered extreme agony in the prison of Kamsa andcried day and night uttering your name. Then why do I repeatyour name? It is because your name removes all fear of death.' "

Referring to a woman, the Holy Mother said, "People of thatappearance are generally devoid of Bhakti, devotion to God. Ihave heard it from Sri Ramakrishna."

Devotee 'Yes, Mother, I have read in the Kathamrita that he usedto say that people who are not frank cannot make real spiritualprogress.

Mother: Oh, you are referring to that. He said those words in thehouse of a devotee named Narayana. A man had a mistress. Sheonce came to Sri Ramakrishna and said with repentance, "Thatman ruined me. Then he robbed me of my money and jewels."

Sri Ramakrishna was aware of the innermost contents of people'sminds. But still he would like to hear about things from their ownmouth. He said to that woman, "Is it true? But he used to give ustall talks about devotion." Then he described those traits whichstand in the way of spirituality. In the end the woman confessedto him all her sins and was thus released from their evil effects.

Nalini: How is it possible, Mother? How can one be absolved fromsin by simply expressing it in words? Is it possible to wash awaysin in this manner?



Mother: Why not, my dear child? Sri Ramakrishna was a perfectsoul. Certainly one can be free from sin by confessing it to onelike him. And one thing more, if at a certain place people talk of virtue and vice, those present there must take a share of thosequalities.

Nalini: How is this possible?

Mother: Let me explain. Imagine a man confessed to you hisvirtue or vice. Whenever you think of that man you will rememberhis virtuous or sinful acts. And they will thus leave an impressionupon your mind. Is it not true, my child?

Again the talk turned to human misery, affliction and worry. TheMother said, "Many people come to me and confide theirworries. They say, 'We have not realized God. How can we attainto peace?' Thereupon the thought would flash in my mind; 'Whydo they say so? Am I then a superhuman being? I never knewwhat worry was. And the vision of God, —it lies, as it were in thepalm of my hand. Whenever I like it, I can have it ' "

I had read of the Holy Mother's dacoit father. Wishing to hear of it from her, I said: "Mother, I read' about an episode in the book.

You were once coming to Dakshineswar. Lakshi-Didi and otherswere with you. You could not walk as fast as they. Seeing thatnight was approaching, you told them to go ahead and you werelagging far behind. At this time you met those who have come to

be known as your dacoit father and mother."

Mother: It is not true that I was altogether alone. There weretwo other old women. The three of us fell behind. Then seeingthat man with silver wrist bands, shaggy hair, dark complexion,and a long stick in hand, I was terribly frightened. In those days



dacoities used to take place in that area. The man understoodthat, we were frightened and asked, "Hullo, where are yougoing?" I said, "To the east." The man responded, saying, "This isnot the road, your path lies that way." Seeing that I did notproceed even then, he said, "Don't be afraid. There is a womanwith me. She has fallen behind," Then I called him 'father', andtook refuge in him. Was I like this in those days? How strong Iwas! I walked for three days at a stretch. I had walked aroundBrindavan and never felt tired.

Later the Holy Mother said: "Did you see the Nahabat atDakshineswar? I used to stay there. The room was so low that atfirst I would knock my head against the upper frame of the door.One day, I got a cut on the head. Then I became accustomed toit. The head bent of itself as soon as I approached the door.Many stout aristocratic women of Calcutta frequently came there.They never entered the room. They would stand at the door andlean forward holding the jambs. And peeping in they wouldremark, addressing me, 'Ah, what a tiny room for our good girl!She is, as it were, in exile, like Sita.'" Turning to her nieces shecontinued, "You won't be able to stay in such a room even for aday." "True, aunt!" they ejaculated, "everything is different withyou."

Devotee: I read in Gurudas Burman's book that finally they builtat Dakshineswar a thatched house for you. The Master camethere once, and because of heavy rain could not return to his own

room.

Mother: What thatched house! It was just a small shed. All thatis properly written in Sarat's book. M's book also is good. He hasrecorded the Master's own words. What sweet words! I heardthat there is so much material that there could be four or five



parts more. He has now become old; would he be able to do allthat? Selling the book, he seems to have got much money. Iheard that he has kept aside all that money. For my house atJayrambati, he gave nearly a thousand rupees (for the houseRs.400 and for expenses Rs.500). And every month he gives meten rupees. If I stay here sometimes he gives twenty or twenty-five rupees. Earlier, when he was working as a teacher he used togive monthly two rupees.

Devotee: Is it Girish Babu who gave much money to the Math?

Mother: Not a large amount. It is Suresh (Surendra Nath) Mitrawho gave regularly. But Girish, too, did give something. And hebore all my expenses at Nilambar Babu's house for a year and ahalf. He has not given any large sum to the Math. And wherefrom could he give? He never had so much money. Earlier he wasa wretch and used to move in bad company, running a theatre.He was a man of great faith and so obtained the Master's grace.The Master gave him salvation. In each Incarnation He liberatesone wretch, like Jagai and Madhai in the Incarnation of SriChaitanya. The Master once said this also, that Girish was anaspect of Siva. What is there in money, my dear? The Mastercould not even touch money. His hand used to curl back whenany metal contacted him. He used to say, "The world is anillusion. Ah, Ramlal, if I felt that the world was real, I would havecovered your Kamarpukur with gold. But I know that it is allillusion. God alone is real"

Maku, her niece, said sorrowfully, "I could not settle myself atone place! The Mother replied, "How is that? Wherever you live,you must feel quite at home. You think that you will be happy atyour husband's place. How is that possible? He gets a smallsalary. How can you manage with such a pittance? You are



staying with me. It is just like your father's place. Married girlssometimes live with their parents, don't they? Can't you practiserenunciation a little?"

I requested the Mother to tell me something more about SriRamakrishna. "What the books say is not always correct,”

Mother said, "Ram's book does not give a correct description of the Shodasi Puja, when the Master worshipped me."

She described the incident and said, "It was not at home, it wasat Dakshineswar, in the Master's room, near the circularverandah, where the huge pitcher of Ganga water now stands.Hriday had made all the arrangements."

Yogin-Ma was then standing by the window, and was about tosay something. The Mother said, "Come in. I seldom see younow-a-days." Yogin-Ma laughed and entered the room. Her foottouched my body. As she was about to salute me with foldedhands, I interrupted her and prostrated myself before her. "Whatis this, Yogin-Ma?" said I, "I am not even fit to take the dust of your feet. Why should you salute me if your foot touched mybody?" In reply Yogin-Ma said, "Why not? A snake, whether bigor small, is a snake all the same. You are all devotees andtherefore worthy of our respect." I looked at the Mother. Thesame compassionate smile lit her face. I took leave of her late atnight.

28th July, 1918

It was evening when I visited the Holy, Mother at her Baghbazarhome. Just before evening service an elderly widow came andsaluted the Mother by placing her head on the feet of the Mother.The Mother was greatly annoyed and said, "Why do you touch



the feet with the head? I am not doing well at all. This sort of thing makes me worse." The Holy Mother washed her feet afterthe widow had left the place.

Later, while I was rubbing the Mother's body with medicated oil,the conversation drifted to Lalit Babu, a great householderdevotee. I said, "He was at one time fatally ill. But I heard that herecovered through your grace."

Mother: He had many unfulfilled desires. He was very seriouslyill with dropsy and was on the point of death. He said to me in avery plaintive voice. "Mother, I have a great desire to buildtemples and hospitals at Kamarpukur and Jayrambati. But thisgreat desire is not going to be fulfilled." Ah, Sri Ramakrishnasaved his life that time. Now he wants to carry out his plans. Lethim try. He has bought a tank for me.

30th July, 1918

Swami Premananda, a disciple of Sri Ramakrishna, passed awayin the evening. I went to see the Mother at dusk. The Mothersaid, "Come in, my child. Take your seat. Today my Baburam(Swami Premananda) has passed away. I have been weepingsince morning." She again burst into tears. Continuing she said,"Baburam was dearest to my heart. The strength, devotion,rationality and all the great virtues were embodied in him. He wasthe very light of the Belur Math. His mother came from a family

without any male heirs. So she inherited her father's property.She became a little proud of it. She herself confessed it to meand said, 'I had some gold ornaments and I thought of the worldas a mere mud-puddle.' She left behind four children. The fifthone she lost before her own death."



After a while I saw the Holy Mother placing her head at the feetof the picture of Sri Ramakrishna hung on the southern wall of the room and uttering in a heart-rending voice! "Lord, you havetaken away my Baburam!" I could hardly restrain my tears.

Golap-Ma was also seriously ill with blood dysentery. She wasalmost on her death-bed.

31st July, 1918

It was half past seven in the evening. The Holy Mother was

seated in the shrine room. This day, too, her conversation turnedon the late Swami Premananda. She said, "My child, in the bodyof Baburam there was neither flesh nor blood after his last illness.It was a mere skeleton." Chandra Babu came to the room and

joined in our talk. He told the Mother that some devotees gavesandal-wood, butter, flowers, incense, etc., worth four or fivehundred rupees for the cremation of the Swami's body. TheMother remarked, "Their money is, indeed, blessed. They have

spent it for a devotee of God. God has given them abundantlyand will give them more." Chandra Babu left the room.

"Listen, my child," she continued, "however spiritual a man maybe, he must pay the tax for the use of the body to the lastfarthing. But the difference between a great soul and an ordinaryman is this: The latter weeps while leaving this body, whereas theformer laughs. Death seems to him a mere play.

"Ah, my dear Baburam came to Sri Ramakrishna while he was amere boy. Sri Ramakrishna used to make great fun with the boys.Naren (Swami Vivekananda) and Baburam would roll on theground with side-splitting laughter. While living in the Cossiporegarden, I was once climbing the steps, carrying a pitcher with five



pounds of milk. I felt giddy and the milk spilt on the ground. Myheels were dislocated. Naren and Baburam came running thereand took care of me. There was a great inflammation of the feet.Sri Ramakrishna heard of the accident and said to Baburam,'Well, Baburam, it is a nice mess I am now in. Who will cook myfood? Who will feed me now?' He was then ill with cancer in thethroat and lived only on farina pudding. I used to make it andfeed him in his room in the upper storey of the house. I had,then, a ring on my nose. Sri Ramakrishna touched his nose andmade the sign of the ring by describing a circle with his finger, inorder to indicate me. He then said, 'Baburam, can you put her(making the sign) in a basket and carry her on your shoulder tothis room?' Naren and Baburam were convulsed with side-splittinglaughter. Thus he used to cut jokes with them. After three daysthe swelling subsided. Then they helped me to go upstairs withhis meals.

"Baburam used to tell his mother, 'How little you love me! Do youlove me as Sri Ramakrishna does?' 'How foolish!' she would reply,'I am your mother, and I do not love you! What do you mean?'Such was the depth of Sri Ramakrishna's love. While four yearsold, Baburam would say, 'I will not marry, or else I will die.' WhenSri Ramakrishna was suffering from cancer in the throat andcould not swallow his food, he said one day, 'I shall eat later onin my subtle body through a million mouths.' Baburam, replying,said 'I do not care for your million mouths or your subtle body.What I want is that you should eat through this mouth and that I

should see this gross body.' "

Golap-Ma had been suffering from an attack of blood dysentery.She was slightly better today. The doctor observed that it wouldtake three months to be cured completely. The Holy Mother said, "Blood dysentery is not a simple disease. Sri Ramakrishna



would often be down with that disease. It happened frequentlyduring the rainy season. At one time he was rather seriously ill. Iused to attend on him. A woman from Banaras had come toDakshineswar. She suggested a remedy. I followed her directionsand the Master was soon cured. The woman could not be seenany more. I never met her again. She had really helped me agreat deal. I inquired about her at Banaras but could not find her.We have often seen that whenever Sri Ramakrishna felt the need,people would come of themselves to Dakshineswar and thendisappear just as suddenly.

"I also suffered from dysentery, my child. The body became amere skeleton. I would lay myself down near the tank. One day Isaw my reflection in the water and noticed that all that remainedof my body was only a few bones. I thought, 'Dear me! What isthe use of this body? Let me give it up. Let me leave it here.' A woman came and said, 'Hallo, Mother! Why are you here? Come,let us go home.' She took me home."

Late at night, I took leave of the Holy Mother.

1st August, 1918

Today I found the Mother alone and therefore had a long talk with her. Our conversation drifted mainly to the monasticdisciples of Sri Ramakrishna. Perhaps, on account of the passingaway of Swami Premananda, the Mother had been continually

thinking of these monks. Referring to them, the Holy Mother said, "Sri Ramakrishna accepted his disciples only afterthoroughly examining them. What an austere life they led at theBaranagore monastery after his passing away! Niranjan (SwamiNiranjanananda) and others often starved themselves. Theyspent all their, time in, meditation and prayer. One day these



young monks were talking among themselves: 'We haverenounced everything in the name of Sri Ramakrishna. Let us seeif he would supply us with food if we simply depend upon him.We will not tell anybody about our wants. We will not go out foralms!' They covered their bodies with sheets of cloth and satdown for meditation. The whole day passed. It was late at night.They heard somebody knocking at the door. Naren left the seatand asked one of his brother monks, 'Please open the door andsee who is there. First of all, notice if he has anything in hishand.' What a miracle! As soon as the door was opened, it wasfound that a man was standing there. He had brought somedelicious food from the temple of Gopala, on the bank of theGanges. They were exceedingly happy and felt convinced of theprotecting hand of Sri Ramakrishna, They offered that food to SriRamakrishna at that late hour of the night and partook of thePrasada. Such things happened many a time. Now the monks donot experience any such difficulty. Alas! What hardship Naren(Swami Vivekananda) and Baburam (Swami Premananda) passedthrough! Even my Rakhal (Swami Brahmananda), who is now thePresident of the Ramakrishna Mission, had to cleanse the potsand kettles, many a day. At one time Naren was travelling as anitinerant monk towards Gaya and Varanasi. He did not get anyfood for two days and was lying down under a tree. He found aman standing near with delicious food and a jar of water in hishands. The man said, 'Here is the Prasada of Rama. Please acceptit.' Naren said, 'You do not know me, my good friend. You havemade a mistake. Perhaps you have brought these articles for

someone else'. The man said with the utmost humility, 'No,revered sir. I have brought this food solely for you. I wasenjoying a little nap at noontime when I saw a man in dream. Hesaid: Get up quickly; a holy man is lying under yonder tree; givehim some food. I dismissed the whole thing as a mere dream.Therefore I turned on my side and again fell asleep. Then I again



dreamt of the man, who said, giving me a push: I am asking youto get up and still you are sleeping! Carry out my order withoutany more delay. Then I thought that it was not an illusory dream.It was the command of Rama. Therefore in obedience to Hiscommand I brought these articles for you; sir.' Naren realizedthat it was all due to the grace of Sri Ramakrishna, and cheerfullyaccepted the food.

"A similar incident happened another day. Naren was travelling inthe Himalayas for three days without any food. He was about tofaint when a Mussulman Fakir gave him a cucumber. It saved hislife that time. After his return from America, Naren was one dayaddressing a meeting at Almora. He saw that Mussulman seatedin a corner. Naren at once went to him, took him by the hand,and made him sit in the centre of the gathering. The audiencewas surprised. Naren said, 'This gentleman saved my life once.'He then narrated the whole incident. He also gave the Fakir somemoney. But at first he refused to accept the gift. He said, 'Whathave I done that you are so anxious to make me a gift?' Narendid not yield and pressed some money into his pocket.

"Naren took me to the Belur Math at the time of the first DurgaPuja festival, and through me gave twenty-five rupees to thepriest as his fee. They spent fourteen hundred rupees on thatauspicious occasion. The place became crowded with people. Themonks worked hard. Naren came to me and said, 'Mother, pleasemake me lie down with fever.' No sooner had he said this than he

was down with a severe attack of fever. I thought, 'Goodnessgracious! What is this? How will he be cured?' 'Do not be anxious,Mother,' said Naren, 'I have myself begged for this fever. Myreason is this. These boys are working hard. But if I see theslightest mistake, I shall fly into a rage and abuse them. I mayeven give them slaps. It will be painful to them as well as to me.



Therefore I thought it would be better to lie down with fever forsome time.' When the day's function was over, I came to him andsaid, 'Dear child, the work is over now. Please get up.' Naren saidthat he was all right and got up from bed.

"Naren brought also his own mother to the Math at the time of the Durga Puja. She roamed from one garden to another andpicked chillies, egg-plants, etc. She felt a little proud thinking thatit was all due to her son, Naren. Naren came to her and said,'What are you doing there? Why do you not go and meet the HolyMother? You are simply picking up these vegetables. May be, youare thinking that your son has done all this work. No, mother.

You are mistaken. It is He who has done all this. Naren isnothing.' Naren meant that the Math was founded through thegrace of Sri Ramakrishna. What great devotion! . . . . MyBaburam is dead! Alas! Who will look after the Durga Puja thisyear? "

ghm section ia part 5

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