get bloviated!

1
MORE SPECTACULAR OFFERS! SPECIAL 1! Move into Richmond city limits and receive your ticket absolutely free! Richmond: “Home of the Boy Who Got Elected to City Council, the Ever-Collapsing City Hall and the Very Popular First Fridays Art Walk That We Somewhat Support!” SPECIAL 2! The first 100 registered attendees receive preferred seating at the Rev. Dwight Jones’ 2010 Christmas sermon (tithing still encouraged; participants may be solicited at a later date to contribute to the Friends of Jones Re-Election Campaign PAC). SPECIAL 3! A free medium-sized coffee personally brewed by Eugene Trani at Richmond International Airport to any Capital One Call Center employees who fly in from India! GET BLOVIATED From the Producers of the May 2010 GET MOTIVATED Seminar Comes INSPIRATION! EXULTATION! REGIONAL COOPERATION*! BUSINESS SKILLS COMMUNICATION POLITICS MODERN MARVELS ACHIEVEMENT EDUCATION PHILIP J. SCHOONOVER IT AIN’T OVER TILL IT’S OVER Philip J. Schoonover brought an ailing electronics retailer to its knees, along with tens of thousands of employees. But he didn’t let that stop him from walking away with millions! Circuit City’s former chief executive offers an uplifting example of why you should never give up, especially when things look the darkest! Shutting Down a Company While Making a Mint! Plus: The Keys to Saving for Your Golden Years Three Principles of Corpo- rate Bankruptcy: Looking at the Bright Side 101 Uses for Your Divx Staying on the Down-Low: Cheap Disguises for When You Have to Make a Trip to Best Buy THOMAS A. SILVESTRI WHY CHANGE IS OVERRATED Thomas A. Silvestri, president and publisher of The Richmond Times-Dispatch, has withstood a ravaged economy, a 30-foot plunge into a vat of ink and a company whose customers are dying off at alarming rates. Yet he delivers a daily news product that goes down nice and easy, like the Metamucil mixed in with your morning coffee. Union Relations: How Out- sourcing, Consolidation and Freelancers Can Save You Time and Trouble Tazzing It Up. Expanding Your Personal Brand Don’t Rock the Boat: A Good-News Guide. Reshap- ing Reality With Positivity PLUS: Free Audio Issue of Media General’s Gotcha! Mug-Shot Magazine! CHIEF BRIAN T. NORWOOD MY LIFE IN THE BACKGROUND Brian T. Norwood is Richmond’s police chief, appointed by a lame- duck mayor in 2008. He quickly earned the confidence of the new mayor by staying out of the way. You’ll finally meet the man who summoned a water-spraying street cleaner to stem mayhem in Shockoe Bottom, while managing to get Chris Brown’s autograph. His groundbreaking work with the Fan Party Patrol takes dangerous noisemakers off the streets. The Power of Low Profiles Northern Memories: Fond Recollections of Bridgeport, Conn., Home of Subway’s First Restaurant Meetings: How to Seem Interested The Time I Got to Meet the Mayor: Principles of Courage and Networking THAT GUY ON THE SEGWAY WHO CARES IF THEY STARE? That Guy on the Segway has never been afraid to be his own man, zooming away from conven- tional modes of transportation to conquer the streets on his own terms! Unless the guy who ran the downtown tour from yesterday forgot to charge the damn bat- tery again, or it’s raining. He’ll also explain why bicycles are the scourge of mankind. Street Smarts and Self- Defense: Escaping the Inevitable Run-In With Dirty Skateboarders Puddles and Potholes: Get- ting Over Life’s Little Hurdles Zen and the Art of Balancing: How to Hold an iPad While Steering Conquering Loneliness: You Don’t Need a Girlfriend as Much as You Think You Do KENNETH T. CUCCINELLI A WINNING ATTITUDE Kenneth T. Cuccinelli is the legendary attorney general of Virginia. He swept into office de- termined to be the most famous right winger ever to hit the “Daily Show.” He’s captivated the coun- try with his views on gay rights, global warming and Virginia seal nipple placement. Hear him expound on his plan to protect Virginia’s borders from invasion and the inside scoop on his recent attack against evil academia. The Gomer Pyle Method: Withering Your Opponent With a Thousand-Yard Stare and a Sheepish Mouth Gape Big Brother: How Liberals Use Social Security Num- bers to “Track” You God’s Plan: We Are Meant to Drill Offshore — the Lord wants us to and the Oil Isn’t Expecting It! DR. YVONNE W. BRANDON May appear live via satellite COUNT ON YOURSELF Dr. Yvonne W. Brandon is superintendent of Richmond Public Schools. Her nuanced and hands-off leadership style has attracted the attention of educators citywide. The former math teacher will share how she counted all the unused computer equipment that had been sitting in a warehouse since 2006, and explains how expulsion data and low graduation rates are faulty measures of performance. Staying Focused When Cranky Taxpayers Try to Derail You With Pesky Freedom of Information Act Requests The Art of Statistics: Raise Your Scores Using Governor’s School Data Loyalty Oaths: Leadership Principles When All Else Fails Multimillionaire Retiree No. 1 Information Supplier to the Elderly The Enforcer Transportation Expert and City Survivalist Rightest Man in Virginia The Greatest Goal-Setter RICHMOND TIMES-DISPATCH FILE FILE SCOTT ELMQUIST SCOTT ELMQUIST RICHMOND PUBLIC SCHOOLS The GET BLOVIATED Seminar is also very proud to present NUTZY THE FLYING SQUIRREL RICHMOND’S MAYOR “The Tenacious Game of Life: How to Make It Through Any Crisis, Keep Your Nuts About You, and Prevent That Funny Wet-Felt Smell.” Plus: How I Motivate Nick Noonan (Adults Only) SAVE! SAVE! SAVE! ALMOST FREE! Get a boost from this spectacular seminar for a total investment of $2.95! OR send YOUR ENTIRE OFFICE (Innsbrook, James Center and Boulders Office Complex excluded) for only $19! That is almost free! Admission at the door: $225 per person. Call immediately to take advantage of this very limited time offer. FREE BONUS GIFTS! For Everyone Who Attends! Call today and receive a 10 Percent Off Coupon for your 2011 Storm Water Drainage Fees! Plus, preferred registra- tion for your child at William Fox Elementary School (trans- portation not provided from certain geographic areas; kindergarten Spanish-Lan- guage Immersion Program not included). *Regional Cooperation not available in all areas. The GET BLOVIATED Seminar reserves the right to substitute speakers and/or venues due to unforeseen circumstances, to seek meals-tax hikes or special-issue bonds, or to postpone the event for several years for the purposes of long-term strategic visioning, envisioning and/or panel discussion luncheons at Willow Oaks Country Club. The views, opinions and/or advice of the speakers are not necessarily those of the GET BLOVIATED Seminar promoters, the Fan Party Patrol or registered voters of the city of Richmond and/or the counties of Hanover, Henrico and Chesterfield. We cannot remember which three cities are considered the “Tri-Cities,” but this goes for them too. Residents of Charlottesville and Williamsburg (with the exception of Miss USA Second Runner-Up Samantha Casey) are ineligible to participate in Seminar promotions. DATE: Saturday, July 10 TIME: 8 a.m.-9:45 p.m. LOCATION: CenterStage AFTERPARTY: Trevor Dickerson’s Short Pump Shutdown! Suburban Mayhem Featuring No Mounted Police! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN, void where prohibited, especially Powhatan. Open to all legal U.S. residents (special exceptions made for undocumented workers who provide a letter of recommendation from preferred homeowners in Windsor Farms or River Road). JACK BERRY & JACK BERRY A VERY SPECIAL DUAL APPEARANCE Jack Berry is one of Richmond’s biggest cheerleaders and downtown boosters. The Other Jack Berry is one of Richmond’s biggest boosters and downtown cheerleaders. How Changing Your Name to Jack Berry Can Make You Happier Schmoozing Secrets. The Art of Nametags, Networking and Politely Declining Those Little Meatballs Wonder-Twin Power Activate! Seven Dream Projects That Could Save Your City SATIRE

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Inspiration! Exultation! Regional Cooperation!

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: Get Bloviated!

13

June 2, 2010

style w

eekly

MORE SPECTACULAR OFFERS!SPECIAL 1! Move into Richmond city limits and receive your ticket absolutely free!

Richmond: “Home of the Boy Who Got Elected to City Council, the Ever-Collapsing City Hall and the Very Popular First Fridays Art Walk That We Somewhat Support!”

SPECIAL 2! The first 100 registered attendees receive preferred seating at the Rev. Dwight Jones’ 2010 Christmas sermon (tithing still encouraged; participants may be solicited at a

later date to contribute to the Friends of Jones Re-Election Campaign PAC).

SPECIAL 3! A free medium-sized coffee personally brewed by Eugene Trani at Richmond International Airport to any Capital One Call Center employees who fly in from India!

GET BLOVIATEDFrom the Producers of the May 2010 GET MOTIVATED Seminar Comes

InspIratIon! ExultatIon! rEgIonal CoopEratIon*!BUSINESS SKILLS CommUNICatIoN PoLItICS moDERN maRVELS aCHIEVEmENt EDUCatIoN

PHILIP J. SCHooNoVER

It aIN’t oVER tILL It’S oVER

Philip J. Schoonover brought an ailing electronics retailer to its knees, along with tens of thousands of employees. But he didn’t let that stop him from walking away with millions! Circuit City’s former chief executive offers an uplifting example of why you should never give up, especially when things look the darkest!

Shutting Down a Company While Making a Mint! Plus: The Keys to Saving for Your Golden Years

Three Principles of Corpo-rate Bankruptcy: Looking at the Bright Side

101 Uses for Your Divx

Staying on the Down-Low: Cheap Disguises for When You Have to Make a Trip to Best Buy

tHomaS a. SILVEStRI

WHy CHaNgE IS oVERRatED

Thomas A. Silvestri, president and publisher of The Richmond Times-Dispatch, has withstood a ravaged economy, a 30-foot plunge into a vat of ink and a company whose customers are dying off at alarming rates. Yet he delivers a daily news product that goes down nice and easy, like the Metamucil mixed in with your morning coffee.

Union Relations: How Out-sourcing, Consolidation and Freelancers Can Save You Time and Trouble

Tazzing It Up. Expanding Your Personal Brand

Don’t Rock the Boat: A Good-News Guide. Reshap-ing Reality With Positivity

PLUS: Free Audio Issue of Media General’s Gotcha! Mug-Shot Magazine!

CHIEF BRIaN t. NoRWooD

my LIFE IN tHE BaCKgRoUND

Brian T. Norwood is Richmond’s police chief, appointed by a lame-duck mayor in 2008. He quickly earned the confidence of the new mayor by staying out of the way. You’ll finally meet the man who summoned a water-spraying street cleaner to stem mayhem in Shockoe Bottom, while managing to get Chris Brown’s autograph. His groundbreaking work with the Fan Party Patrol takes dangerous noisemakers off the streets.

The Power of Low Profiles

Northern Memories: Fond Recollections of Bridgeport, Conn., Home of Subway’s First Restaurant

Meetings: How to Seem Interested

The Time I Got to Meet the Mayor: Principles of Courage and Networking

tHat gUy oN tHE SEgWay

WHo CaRES IF tHEy StaRE?

That Guy on the Segway has never been afraid to be his own man, zooming away from conven-tional modes of transportation to conquer the streets on his own terms! Unless the guy who ran the downtown tour from yesterday forgot to charge the damn bat-tery again, or it’s raining. He’ll also explain why bicycles are the scourge of mankind.

Street Smarts and Self-Defense: Escaping the Inevitable Run-In With Dirty Skateboarders

Puddles and Potholes: Get-ting Over Life’s Little Hurdles

Zen and the Art of Balancing: How to Hold an iPad While Steering

Conquering Loneliness: You Don’t Need a Girlfriend as Much as You Think You Do

KENNEtH t. CUCCINELLIa WINNINg attItUDE

Kenneth T. Cuccinelli is the legendary attorney general of Virginia. He swept into office de-termined to be the most famous right winger ever to hit the “Daily Show.” He’s captivated the coun-try with his views on gay rights, global warming and Virginia seal nipple placement. Hear him expound on his plan to protect Virginia’s borders from invasion and the inside scoop on his recent attack against evil academia.

The Gomer Pyle Method: Withering Your Opponent With a Thousand-Yard Stare and a Sheepish Mouth Gape

Big Brother: How Liberals Use Social Security Num-bers to “Track” You

God’s Plan: We Are Meant to Drill Offshore — the Lord wants us to and the Oil Isn’t Expecting It!

DR. yVoNNE W. BRaNDoNMay appear live via satellite

CoUNt oN yoURSELF

Dr. Yvonne W. Brandon is superintendent of Richmond Public Schools. Her nuanced and hands-off leadership style has attracted the attention of educators citywide. The former math teacher will share how she counted all the unused computer equipment that had been sitting in a warehouse since 2006, and explains how expulsion data and low graduation rates are faulty measures of performance.

Staying Focused When Cranky Taxpayers Try to Derail You With Pesky Freedom of Information Act Requests

The Art of Statistics: Raise Your Scores Using Governor’s School Data

Loyalty Oaths: Leadership Principles When All Else Fails

Multimillionaire Retiree

No. 1 Information Supplier to the Elderly The Enforcer Transportation Expert

and City SurvivalistRightest Man in

VirginiaThe Greatest Goal-Setter

RIC

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The GET BLOVIATED Seminaris also very proud to present

NUtZy tHE FLyINg SQUIRRELRICHmoND’S mayoR

“The Tenacious Game of Life: How to Make It Through Any Crisis, Keep Your Nuts About You, and Prevent That Funny Wet-Felt Smell.” Plus: How I Motivate Nick Noonan (Adults Only)

SAVE! SAVE! SAVE!ALMOST FREE!Get a boost from this spectacular seminar for a total investment of $2.95! OR send YOUR ENTIRE OFFICE (Innsbrook, James Center and Boulders Office Complex excluded) for only $19!

That is almost free! Admission at the door: $225 per person. Call immediately to take advantage of this very limited time offer.

FREE BONUS GIFTS!

For Everyone Who Attends!Call today and receive a 10

Percent Off Coupon for your 2011 Storm Water Drainage

Fees! Plus, preferred registra-tion for your child at William

Fox Elementary School (trans-portation not provided from

certain geographic areas; kindergarten Spanish-Lan-

guage Immersion Program not included).

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DATE: Saturday, July 10TIME: 8 a.m.-9:45 p.m.LOCATION: CenterStageAFTERPARTY: Trevor Dickerson’s Short Pump Shutdown! Suburban Mayhem Featuring No Mounted Police! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN, void where prohibited, especially Powhatan. Open to all legal U.S. residents (special exceptions made for undocumented workers who provide a letter of recommendation from preferred homeowners in Windsor Farms or River Road).

JaCK BERRy & JaCK BERRya VERy SPECIaL DUaL aPPEaRaNCE

Jack Berry is one of Richmond’s biggest cheerleaders and downtown boosters. The Other Jack Berry is one of Richmond’s biggest boosters and downtown cheerleaders.

How Changing Your Name to Jack Berry Can Make You Happier

Schmoozing Secrets. The Art of Nametags, Networking and Politely Declining Those Little Meatballs

Wonder-Twin Power Activate! Seven Dream Projects That Could Save Your City

SATIRE