Af ter the vars i ty squad ’s inspiring race, the JV team was set to run. Luck was with all the runners today, as Mr. Gleich had finally falsely predicted the weather, and there was no rain (drizzle doesn’t count). The gun shot sounded and the JV runners were off. Taking the lead up the front hill were senior stars Steve Theisen, Luke Simpson, and of course Joe Hayes. Unfortunately, they soon fell off the pace, and it was up to other Priory runners to take up the torch. Luckily there was experience up front with Senior Captain Matt Menendez, and SENIOR Drew Link leading the way, with a quickly fatiguing South runner tagging along. Not far behind were Junior Nick D’Orazio and freshman Frederico Eguiguren, while senior Captain Nick Hedlesky stayed strong. Separated by one South runner was a strong Priory pack consisting of Senior Ryan Bedell, freshman Ryan Donlin, Sophomore Luke O’Dowd, and Juniors Char l ie Rosebrough, and Colby Braeckel. By the two mile mark it was clear that this was Priory’s race. At the 3500 meter mark, Nick turned it up a gear to get out in front, with Matt and Drew right behind. At the finish line Priory had a clean sweep, winning the top five

This past week, Priory’s Varsity Cross Country squad competed in the ABC League meet at Jefferson Barracks. The team held strong early on, using its strategy of packing the Priory runners instead of sprinting right off that start. Jon VanBreusegen, Niall “White Lightnin’” Caparon, and Kyle Hill were leading the pack with Chad Huber, John Cole, Spencer King, and Billy Fox trailing closely behind. After the first mile, the team began to slowly gain speed and passed numerous runners. Running with high hopes of shaving off Mr. Gleich’s legendary mustache, the team pushed harder as the race went on.

In the final moments, Chad,

John and Spencer pushed in front of Lutheran South’s fourth runner as Kyle and Billy battled to stay ahead of South’s fifth man. After the whole team had crossed the line the final result was up in the air. Coach Rebello and 2009 Alum Joe Wagner (who had left college life to come support us) had us winning by one point. We anxiously stood at the award ceremony waiting for the results. We first heard the individual results: Jon (17:45) at 5th and Niall (17:56) at 7th were First-Team All League runners. Chad (18:19) 10th, John (18:23) 12th, and Spencer (18:25) 13th received Second-Team All League distinction. Billy finished in 15th at 18:30 and Kyle ended up in 18th at 18:39. League officials awarded second place to Lutheran South with 51 points and, in first place,

The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School since 1960Volume 40, Issue 8

Friday, October 30, 2009

The RecordHalloween Edition

Varsity, JV Win ABC League at Jefferson Barracks

Varsity Upsets Lutheran South, Looks to DistrictsThe Rebel Pack finishes 4 points ahead of South for ABC Title

Drew Link, ’10Sports Writer

JV Sweeps ABC CleanPlaces 1-5, 13 of top 15

Billy Fox, ’10Sports Writer

(continued on back page) (continued on back page)

Halloween marks the beginning of a great time of year. Halloween to Thanksgiving to Black Friday to the almighty, immaculate, ever-so-incredible Christmas. It's a great time to be alive. But with all the joy come things that ought to be changed about society, and for this week’s article, I will remind you of some of the not-so-great Halloween happenings. Costume-block is a terrible thing. I have had a great costume every year since 2nd grade (the best rendition of R2D2 you will ever see) up until last year (a dead-on Aaron Carter). This year, I have done nothing but draw a blank. I know many around me are going through the same kind of struggles, and when (and if) you come up with a good idea, you forget about how awful not thinking of a costume was. But it really was.

Houses that think they can make a haunted house really grind my gears. So here's the scene; you're midway through your glorious night of assembling the greatest collection of assorted sweets when you come upon a house that invites you to their "haunted house" in their driveway. Now you're in the middle of your candy assembling peak. The Reeses and Snickers and Butterfingers seem to flow like a waterfall into your pillow case as you hear the musical sound of wrappers crashing down on more wrappers. Now, here come these jokesters who want to interrupt me in my prime, to try to scare me. Hey lady, did it ever occur to you that I am with some members of the opposite sex, and I may get easily scared by things that jump out, and that being the most scared one in there isn't exactly in the Mikey get the ladies gameplan? Well, both fortunately and unfortunately for me, these haunted houses are always the worst. Yes it is nice that I don't look like

Due to the enormous success of Paranormal Activities (it has made close to 60 million dollars, which is pretty good considering it was shot on a 15,000 dollar budget), the horror industry has really started taking a good look at the films it has been churning out lately. Let's just say it aint pretty.1: Hostel- This is the criminal who is really to blame for the rapid decline of scary movies in the last couple of years. It proved that storyline, suspense, and acting did not really matter if you had profligate amounts of “biblical knowing” and blood, lots and lots of blood. Quite simply, it shocked more than it scared. This movie was one of the most depraved creations ever to hit the big screen, its plot was simple, fan-service, torture, fan-service, torture, rinse lather repeat, to make matters even worse, the movie lacked the

creativity of the slasher movies when it came to the deaths, it was just mindless bloodshed with no entertainment value. The real tragedy is that this style of movie, labeled “torture porn” has dominated the horror genre for the last couple of years.2: Saw IV-VI- To tell you the truth, I am rather fond of the first three Saw movies. This may seem rather strange considering my blasting of Hostel, but the first three actually managed to work in a very good story in between the very creative traps. The third would have made a perfect ending to the series, but of course like every other franchise it had to be milked to death, and thus we got Saw IV-VIII (seven and eight are in the works). The traps lost a lot of steam on the way (ironic considering Saw VI's steam room), and the plot became a tedious fleshing out of backstory, most of which was either superfluous or redundant. The only thing they h a v e n o t

Arbitrarily Judgementalitastic: Five Worst Halloween Movies of All Time

Alexander Todorov, ‘10Editorial Writer

Friday, October 30, 2009Volume 40, Issue 8

EditorialsThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

The Record StaffEditor in Chief:

Patrick R. Mulvihill, ’10

Layout Editor:

Chad E. Huber, ’10

Content Editor:

Sean J. Lamb, ’10

Faculty Moderator:

Mrs. Barbara K. Sams

In this issue...

Patrick Mulvihill, ’10

Mike Haueisen, ‘10

Alex Todorov, ’10

Billy Fox, ‘10

Drew Link, ’10

Andrew Lall, ’10

Kevin Hess, ’11

David Taiclet, ’11

Peter Jochens, ’11

Jack O’Brien, ’12

Brendan Thomas, ’12

Tom Mulvihill, ’80

The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced b y s t u d e n t e d i t o r s / s t a f f m e m b e r s . I t s p u r p o s e i s threefold: to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members o f the Pr iory community , including students, faculty, and alumni. The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

The Record Disclaimer

Peter Griffinwith the help of

Mike Haueisen, ‘10

(continued on back page)

(continued on back page)

What Grinds My GearsHalloween Edition

The Student Council Halloween Assembly is today and there are lots of events planned. The assembly starts at 8:05am and ends at 8:51am. First off is the costume contest which, after last year’s successful r e t u r n h a s b e e n a p p r o v e d b y t h e administration. However, Mr. Finan will be reviweing all costumes before they are allowed on stage and, due to shenanigans in past years, there will be a review. Those students who dress up will be able to stay in their costumes the entire day, if they wish, or can

change into dress code. There will be several cash prizes awarded including best costume (at each form level and then school wide). Faculty, as always, are more than welcome to join the festivities and dress up for the occasion. The assembly will also included a Halloween movie which does not have a plot but rather includes many scenes that are scary, Halloween, and fun themed. There will also be a dance performed by the senior Student Council members which should definitely be entertaining. Happy Halloween.

Friday, October 30, 2009Volume 40, Issue 8

The Weekly UpdateThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Weekly Calendar

Wednesday, 10/04/2009

Thursday, 10/05/2009

Friday, 10/30/2009

•8:00am, Halloween Assembly•4:15pm, C Football @ Lutheran South

Saturday, 10/31/2009

•XC Districts @ Borgia•11:00pm, V Soccer v. U City•1:00pm, V Football v. Lutheran South

Monday, 10/02/2009

Tuesday, 10/03/2009

•4:10pm, XC Pizza Challenge HS v. JS

Friday, 10/30

Cheese Lasagna

Monday, 11/02

Mastaciolli

Tuesday, 11/03

BBQ Beef on Bun

Wednesday, 11/04

Breaded Chicken Patty

Thursday, 11/05

Bread Bowls

Friday, 11/06

Fried Clams

Weekly Lunches10/30-11/06

Sports Scores10/22-10/27

Varsity Soccer

2-1, Win v. JBS, 10/22

JV Soccer

1-1, Tie @ JBS, 10/22

6-0, Win v. Lutheran North, 10/27

Varsity Cross Country

1st place, ABC League Meet, 10/23

JV Cross Country

1st place, ABC League Meet, 10/23

Varsity Football

27-6, Win @ JFK, 10/23

C Team Football

12-6, Lose @ Westminster, 10/22

The music world was rocked this week at the news of the death of film and television composer Vic Mizzy at the ripe old age of 93. Mizzy had a string of popular hits in the 1930s and 1940s, but is best known for his tune with the two “finger snaps,” the theme from the television series, The Addams Family. Still

more intriguing, Mizzy had to sing the theme song himself, overdubbing his voice several times, when the production company refused to pay for singers. Mizzy also wrote the theme to Green Acres. A happy post-mortem Halloween to Vic Mizzy! Live on through your music (snap, snap.)

Tom Mulvihill, ’80Director of Admissions

A Halloween Music Legend is Gone (snap, snap.)

Author’s Note: I make this prediction: By the end of this article, you will be humming, whistling or otherwise replaying a certain song in your mind and you won’t be able to shake it for at least 30 minutes.

STUCO Halloween Assembly

Facebook stati should be funny. I do not care to hear about your plans, emotions, or the lyrics to your favorite song. Too often have I seen a status that reads, “Andrew is thinking…” or “Grace is upset… I hate boys.” The people who write these stati are begging for attention. I implore you, if you ever decide to update your FB status, avoid these three things: your emotions, your plans, and your favorite song lyrics. Although Facebook is means of updating your friends on what you are doing, we do not care to know that you are going out to lunch, about to take a nap, or are on the toilet. Furthermore, I know that Michael Bublé is a great singer. I do not need someone to affirm this by putting lyrics to “Haven’t Met

You Yet,” in his Facebook status. Instead, attempt to put something humorous as your status. I have placed more of my clever stati above as a guide for all of you. As you can see, all it takes is a simple pun, an ironic outlook on the world, or a satyrical line about

Facebook. Keep it fresh, and avoid feelings, plans, and song lyrics. I beg of you. Oh, and one more thing: Farmville. If I receive one more Farmville invite, I will set fire to your crops and slaughter your cattle.

Halloween. A time for fright, and horror. This is the time of the year for some scares and what

better way to do that then with the AMC Horror Fest on all this week? Halloween has to be enjoyed with scary movies, and this is the channel that knows whats going on. The entire week, Sunday through Saturday, AMC is playing some of the best horror movies ever legally produced in the United States. Starting with some classics like Pyscho, and The Shining, the movies transition into higher maintenance scares such as Thirteen Ghosts and Halloween. What could be better than continuous re-runs of Michael Myers slaying the young and stupid? Wednesday, in fact, is an all day Halloween marathon, showing the whole saga I-V. Thursday is a complete cornucopia of horror, with House on Haunted Hill leading of at 2 A.M., going through yet another run down of greatness. Finally on Saturday night, the climax of the week, Night of the Living Dead re-plays over the span of 4-12 midnight. In the words of a wise dictator: ‘In order to become a man, you must

first become a little girl.” And that is exactly what you will be reduced to, thanks to AMC. So tune in for the most thrilling time of your life….

As everyone knows it’s Halloween. So its time to do all of your yearly Halloween rituals, getting

candy from the store, finding the best costume in the world, and the most important thing to do, watch It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. This is by far the best Halloween movie ever made. It is far better than any horror movie you can think of and no Halloween movie can even come close to being as amazing as Charlie Brown is. What is funnier than watching Charlie Brown try to kick a football and fall? I’ll help you out, the answer is nothing. You can say that it’s so old and that you’ve seen it so many times that it’s not funny anymore, but you’re only lying to yourself because it never gets old. Charlie Brown is the one Halloween tradition, other than trick-or-treating, that no one should ever skip. You can skip getting a costume or getting candy, but you never skip watching Charlie Brown, it is a true Halloween tradition.

“Great Pumpkin” a Halloween Tradition

Jack O’Brien, ’12Opinions Writer

Brendan Thomas, ’12Opinions Writer

Scary Movies a Must for Halloween

Andrew Lall, ’10Entertainment Writer

The Facebook Status: A Blessing and a Curse

Opinions and EntertainmentThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Friday, October 30, 2009Volume 40, Issue 8

We here at the Love Den would like to provide the greater Priory community with some tips on proper Halloween etiquette and, more importantly, how to enjoy yourselves. Billy Brohan: There are three options for Halloween plans. Firstly, you can go to a party. If there is candy and/or cocktail wieners, the decision is already made for you: go to the party. If not, you might need some alternatives. The simplest idea is trick-or-treating. The result: candy. Disadvantages: having to be the teenagers roaming the neighborhood searching for sugar. It’s impossible to pull that off without looking a bit sketchy. I suggest, assuming cocktail wieners and candy are out of the question, that you stay home with a couple of friends and hand the candy out to the trick-or-treaters. All your problems are thereby solved by the infinite supply of candy (assuming your parents are the generous and perfect individuals we know Priory parents to be). Whatever you end up doing, stay safe and don’t do anything that Sirs William Brohan and Benedict Broski wouldn’t do.

Benny Broski: The key to a good Halloween is in the costume. Years of experience will tell you that. Halloween is comprised of three aspects, which I like to call the three C’s: candy, costumes, and crazyawesomeparties (chicas and chillaxing round up the list at #4 and #5). Without the costume, Halloween would just be another day for your average broslice. Bottom line: Wear a costume. Nonchalance is usually pretty gnarly and can woo the ladies, but in this case it is the wrong approach. 99% of girls will dress up. If you dress up, shabam! automatic conversation starter. Wear jeans and a t-shirt, you’ll be ignored. Wear tights, a tank top, short shorts, or knee socks, you’re good to go. Girls want that fun guy who is willing to embarrass himself by dressing up as Peter Pan or a fireman or a Chippendales dancer. All these costumes are easy to come by. A word to the wise: don’t try too hard. Don’t try to be scary, and don’t spend more than $30 on a costume. Costumes should be simple, funny, and clever. We know lumberjacks don’t wear short jorts, but go ahead and try it out. It’ll give you another reason to wear flannel anyway. A costume doesn’t have to be too cheesy or embarrassing, so just let your guard down and have fun.

The Rams have one game left before their bye week. In the last four games, the Rams have scored 36 points, and have let up 138 points. This year, the offense has scored 5 TDs, and has let up 4 TDs. That is a margin of +7, on offense. The defense is hurting also. With Bradley Fletcher out for the season with a torn ACL, and Will Witherspoon traded to Philadelphia (who consequently in his opening debut for the Eagles recorded a sack, two

forced fumbles, an interception and a TD), the Rams will do their best to hold off the opposition, but have given a weak effort thus far. The best game this season resulted in a 23-20 loss to Jacksonville in OT, and the Jaguars kicked a field goal to win. Offense needs to step up, especially the Wide Receivers. Donnie Avery is suffering a leg

injury, and with a young receiving core Marc Bulger is having trouble connecting on routes. After gaining Wide

Receiver Brandon Gibson from the trade a Will Witherspoon, Spags will

hopefully get this program back on track. We all knew this would be a

rebuilding year, so expect the Rams to improve as the season progresses.

iTunes Top 10

1. Jump Then Fall Taylor Swift2. Bad Romance

Lady GaGa3. Untouchable

Taylor Swift4. The Other Side of the Door

Taylor Swift5. Fireflies

Owl City6. SuperStar Taylor Swift

7. Come In With the Rain Taylor Swift

8. Party in the U.S.A. Miley Cyrus 9. TiK ToK

Ke$ha10. Watcha Say

Jason DeRulo

Top 10Halloween Songs

1. Monster Mash

2. Thriller

3. The Purple People Eater

4. Ghostbusters

5. Zombie Zoo

6. The Adams Family

7. Airline to Heaven

8. This is Halloween

9. Witch Doctor

10. Werewolves of London

- Patrick Mulvihill, ’10

Contact the editors if you want to provide a Top 10 Playlist of your own for the band or artist of your choice and it could appear in The Record Weekly in the future...

Friday, October 30, 2009Volume 40, Issue 8

Opinions and EntertainmentThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Rams Improve to 0-7

Peter Jochens, ’11Sports Writer

Billy Brohan and Benny BroskiThe Doctors of Love

The Love Den Addresses Halloween

PuzzlesThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Friday, October 30, 2009Volume 40, Issue 8

Crossword PuzzleACROSS1. Highest point5. Travel through water9. Potato state14. Accomplishes15. Stow, as cargo16. Cantaloupe or honeydew17. Cards with just one symbol18. Inspiration19. Point in time20. Existing in possibility22. Harps23. Piece of armor for a thigh24. Church council26. American Dental Association29. Take into custody33. Gravely38. Lustrous39. Journey40. Streamlined42. Russian emperor43. Not outside45. Kind of heel47. A literate person48. No particular one49. Outer or exterior

52. Relaxes57. Shop60. Sundog63. Lava64. Chocolate cookie65. Largest continent66. German iris67. Trade68. Chat69. Fliers in V's70. Swirl71. If not

DOWN1. Customize2. Drink served with marshmallows3. Encounters4. S S S S5. Narrow opening6. Dry riverbed7. Concepts8. Granular9. Call upon in supplication10. Dry up11. Winged12. A flexible tube

13. 1 1 1 1 21. Close25. A small piece of table linen27. Abandon28. Each and every one30. At one time (archaic)31. Strip of wood32. Apprentice33. Mix34. Coastal raptor35. Credit card brand36. The outer layer of the skin37. An affirmative41. Estimated time of

arrival 44. Perish46. Stringed instrument50. Having no limbs51. Challenged53. Cheer up54. Rope fiber55. Works56. Viper or boa57. Urban haze58. Container weight59. Monster61. Absorb written material

Sudokus Word SearchWORDBANK

HARD

EASY

binderboldcardscharsclosetcuesdealerdiscoverydiscretiondrivendrunkeaseescape

folderfreakghoulhastenheedkneeleaseleavemoviemurdernearplayer

plushpokerponypraiseserfshiftskilltheatertrancevillageviolencewhip

Cryptogram

- Demetri Martin

the Rebel attack could not be denied. Late in the first half, freshman Jeffrey Hopson bowled over a Bomber in route to playing a great ball across to Jack Wegmann, who then combined with sophomore Andrew Rhodes for Rhodes’ 15th goal on the season. The Rebel defense held strong in the remainder of the first half and shut down the Burroughs’ attack. This gave the offense space to work and they did well with it. After a number of unsuccessful Rebel attacks, senior Patrick Mulvihill leapt on a loose ball in the open field and slotted it to Wegmann who put it away. Despite some late efforts by the Bombers, Priory held on to win 2-1. Monday, the Rebels’ final game of the season at Principia, was rained out and will not be rescheduled. Priory enters districts as the 4th seed and will play University City Saturday at 10am on the turf. If they win Saturday the Rebels will most likely play the #1 seed Westminster Tuesday at 4 at Gay Field. This is by far the biggest game of the Rebels’ season and we need as much fan support as possible. BE THERE!

the tie and against MICDS but had to do it without their top scorer Sam Newman. Priory got off to a great start once again when Paul Schulz had a far out shot deflected into the bottom corner. The game stayed that way until the last few minutes when Priory stepped it up and scored 3 goals, one from each Brendan Phillips, Paul Schulz and Nico Stillman to end the game 4-0. Next was Afton away, with Priory dominating the entire game but unable to finish their chances, with the only goal of the game coming from another deflected shot from Paul Schulz. Priory won the game 1-0. A few days later Priory went to Festus, MO to play against St. Pius. Priory started well, with Nico Stillman scoring within two minutes and Paul Schulz scoring two goals very close to each other a few minutes later to make it 3-0 at half time. Priory played well again in the second half with Dan Jacobs and Michael Lombardo finishing off the scoring giving Priory a 5-0 victory. For the third to last game of the season Priory went to Lutheran North. Once again they got off to a great start and were up 3-0 inside 10 minutes. Priory continued to play well and with goals from Sam Newman (2), Brendan Philips (3) Marc Dunbar and Zach Lavallee, Priory easily won by a score of 7-1. Next up Priory went to Westminster. Once again Priory played well and could’ve won by six or seven goals but finally scored after creating many chances. After Sam Newman made a great run and pass to set him up, it was the winning goal in a hard fought game with the Rebels winning 1-0. For the final game of the season Priory played at John Burroughs. It was always going to be tough with Nico Stillman and Sam Newman moving up to Varsity. After a bad first half, Priory was down 1-0, but they stepped up their game in the second, with James Merenda equalizing with a volley from the edge of the box. Priory continued to press after that but it wasn’t enough with the game ending 1-1. It was a great year for the JV team, ending with record of 13-3-3.

The Rebels faced off against JFK on Friday night. It was a cold rainy night and the field was in miserable condition. This game was a lot closer than the Rebels anticipated. After the first quarter it was tied 0-0. Then the Rebels went to the bone offense which consists of Billy Busch, Andrew Cusumano, and Craig Boyce all in the backfield. This could not be stopped by an undersized JFK defense. Craig scored two touchdowns and Matt Jones added another. At the half it was 20-0 in favor of the Rebels. The third quarter was more of the same; the Rebels’ bone offense ran all over the JFK defense. The fourth quarter began with the score 27-0 thanks to another Craig Boyce touchdown. Then the second teamers entered the game. They gave up a touchdown and couldn’t get much going on offense, but they all gained some useful game experience that will help next year to fill the many spots when the seniors leave. Craig Boyce had a great game scoring three times. Our next game is on Saturday, here, versus Lutheran South. With a win the Rebels will advance to the playoffs for the second year in a row.

Early last week, the JV team went out looking for revenge at home against MICDS after a tie against them a week before. Paul Schulz was awarded a penalty a few minutes into the game and scored. The game was going well and Priory was controlling play until MIDCS got a corner right before half time and after a scramble in front of the goal one of their players eventually put it in the net to make it 1-1. Priory controlled the game again after half time and had plenty of chances to take back the lead, but it wasn’t our day and the game finished 1-1 for the second time this season. Next JV played at Principia, Priory wanted to make up for

Kevin Hess, ’11Sports Writer

Varsity Soccer Defeats JBS

Friday, October 30, 2009Volume 40, Issue 8

SportsThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

David Taiclet, ’12Sports Writer

Football Wins over JFK

The Rebels took the field for the final time at home last Thursday, meeting John Burroughs on the turf. Despite the pouring rain, Priory began the game by recognizing all the seniors in their final home appearance, unfortunately missing Captains Joe Altepeter and Dan Croghan. The pouring rain made things difficult, but

Paul Schulz, ’12Sports Writer

JV Soccer Rounds Off Great Season at 13-3-3

Priory with 47. It was an incredible moment. Mr. Gleich even hugged some of the team. It felt like the apocalypse, fin del mundo. It was really a great moment to see everyone on the team basking in victory after such an intense season. The team still has Districts to look forward to: it is in Districts that we must qualify for state in order to shave Mr. Gleich’s mustache and see the world as we know it fall apart. So stay tuned for more Cross Country news and the eminent shaving of Mr. Gleich’s mustache.

explained is how in Buddha's (I don't want to offend Menendez) name do the detectives never find out were this is all taking place. 3: Megan's Body- I don't have many words left to work with so I will be brief. The entire point of this movie is that Megan Fox is beautiful. There is no other redeeming feature of this badly written, acted, and produced “film”. I use quotation marks because calling this a horrible film would be an insult to horrible films. 4: The Blair Witch Project 2- Merely mentioning this movie still causes me to weep uncontrollably, and I am going to have to be fast because I might cause my computer to short out. The first Blair Witch was amazing, and the ending is probably the scariest scene in modern horror. So, what does Hollywood do? Make a sequel, and remove every redeeming quality of the original. The first was so scary because the low budget forced the creators to be scary in realistic ways, its greatest advantage is that it was shot on the cheap. Thus, when you rain cash down upon it, you take the film's greatest advantage and pull an Old Yeller on it. 5: The Blair Zombie Diary of the Dead- This film is a travesty, pure and simple. The creators of this “movie” decided to combine the guerilla style film making of The Blair Witch Project with the tumultuous insanity of George Romero's _____ of the Dead series, hilarity ensues. This film did to the Dead series what Nu metal did to rock, it cheapened it, dumbed it down, rendered i t inert for the mass consumption of the proletariat. If it had been well produced, it may have been fairly good, but this being modern horror and all, the chances of that happening are the same as those of the Ram's winning a game.

THE RECORDEditor in Chief: Patrick R. Mulvihill, ’10 Layout Editor: Chad E. Huber, ’10 Content Editor: Sean J. Lamb, ’10 Moderator: Barbara K. Sams

The Record WeeklyThe Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Friday, October 23, 2009Volume 40, Issue 7

Arbitrarily Judgementilatastic(continued from page 2)

a huge wuss in front of the lady-folk, but nonetheless, it is a waste of time and energy and candy grabbing time. So you go through this 3 minute ordeal with these strangers wearing frankenstein masks (the beers in the cooler totally add to the effect) making noises that are actually sort of funny, and at the end some guy starts a chainsaw. Wow, what a waste, my reward? That's right, a fun-size milky way. The 1 inch long milky-way. Ahead of me is one of those houses with the bowl of candy out front that says "please take 1" and I can't wait to go and take 80, but alas, as I receive my fun-size milky way, I see a kid from across the street run up and empty the whole bowl into his bag. Oh the horror. At this point I decide the haunted house did its job as I fall to my knees and sob on the ground in horror. It is a loss for

humanity, when my candy-prime is interrupted for 3 minutes by idiots who reward me with a fun-size milky way, thus surrendering a whole bowl full of the goods. Satan: 1, Mikey: 0. These houses just waste time on an otherwise great night. Lastly, when other people deliberate on whether or not "this is the year" they are too old to trick-or-treat. You're never too old to trick-or-treat! Quit thinking you're sweet and just too cool to be a kid and trick-or-treat because you're too busy dangling like Cullen McCormick. You're not cool, because trick-or-treating is what's cool. I know I'm going out when I get that craving for the goods, a mild 20 minutes of trick-or-treating never hurt anybody, in fact it's only helped people because they get free candy. Good times all around. Go trick-or-treating Cullen and you other cool kids, just for a little and cherish every minute of it. Don't get sucked into waste

Grinds My Gears(continued from page 2)

Varsity Cross Country(continued from front page)

places. D’Orazio ran a great race to finish first with a time of 18:51, with Menendez finishing 2nd (19:04), Link 3rd (19:10), Hedlesky 4th (19:15), and Frederico 5th (19:24). The best was still to come however, as exhausted Priory runners congregated to witness Joe Hayes’ last finish line performance. He did not disappoint, and as he sprinted across the finish line he did his patented Joe leap, into a spectacularly athletic roll, and to top it off he passionately tore his jersey off. It was a moment that will go down in history as JV reclaimed their spot as the dominant ABC force. Congrats to all runners, and special thanks to Joey Wagner 09’ for coming and cheering us on, as well as the coaches who made it all possible. Priory JV took 10 of the top 11 spots, 13 of the top 15, and 19 of the 30 ribbons. This was a great performance to cap off a great season for our JV.

JV Cross Country(continued from front page)