I am writing this article in the hope to stir up a vociferous debate from the colossal fan base of this

American TV Show. 

Now to declare it at the very first, I am an ardent fan of this soap that took the world of dailies in the

10 years span that is was broadcast. The evergreen, spontaneous humour of the show continues to

charm viewers till date. The story of the lives of six medley of characters with a twist of sarcasm

almost resonates with every person which invariably makes the viewer sympathetic to the

characters. The light hearted tone of the soap teaches us that whether you get divorced thrice, have

had an awesomely painful childhood, have parents who have ruined your identity, fail to get the

woman of your dreams inspite of being the charming one or turn out to be barren when having kids

was an ardent dream, life is much more than your humongous failures. And everything turns out

well, more or less, if you have a few meaningful people in your life, and a bit of a cheerful outlook.

Everything was going fine. I was watching the umpteenth rerun. Then, just like you start to notice

flaws after some time spent together, in the rockstar of a boyfriend who you couldn't have more of, I

started to read in between the lines. 

Switching off the rosy glasses of humor and light-hearted-ness aside, I found that FRIENDS has a

mean undertone to it. Not only mean, narcissistic, racist and figure shaming.

May be I'm reading way too much into it, maybe, the show just reflected the general social

temperament of the 90's NYC. But in the time frame of arduous apartheid and feminism and a global

tolerance culture, some aspects of the show are quite disturbing.

I might even say, the show portrays the typical, narcissistic tone of the then USA as perceived by the

rest of the world.

Here are some points that stuck with me.

1. The show takes place in mainland Manhattan and it is an all white cast? A show representing the

general mood of NYC should be as diverse as the demographic of the city.

2. Remember the episode where Ross gets Phoebe all upset before her date with Mike? How he

conjures up this fictional ex-boyfriend of Phoebe to Mike?

He called him Vikram and to answer Mike's disbelief about his incredibility, he says, "What! It's a

REAL name". It was really unnecessary to introduce a foreign name and make fun of it. I felt it was

like a propaganda of the fact that Americans enjoy their ignorance about the cultures of foreign, less

prosperous countries. As if it's a mark of superiority.

3.Then there is the episode "The One with The Unagi". Ross was just trying to teach his girl-friends

this technique of self-defence he had learnt. Rachel and Phoebe keep on making fun of the fact that

Unagi was also the name of an eel. Albeit Ross was coming off as dorky but all he wanted to do was

help his friends who refused to learn and were bent on goofing with the 'geek'. 

At one point Rachel has the audacity to say," In case someone is trying to steal your bamboo

sleeping mat and your kettle of fish." as a mocking response to Ross's tagline dialogue "I'm always

aware!" with respect to Unagi.

Japan is one of the oldest civilisations with one of the best, most lethal forms of self defence

originating there. It is a leading country in scientific research, defence mechanism, electronics goods

and has a very robust economy. 

To portray a such a meek and pitiable kind of picture of such a country of national media that too by

one of the leading characters sends out a very negative message. 

4. While we are on nationalism, remember the episode where Ross uses a fake British accent to

charm his first class. I recall Rachel speaking to a fellow professor in a fake Indian accent. Not only

was the fake accent was very poorly done, the context was totally demeaning if Indians really want

to take offence.

5. And then when Chandler lies to Janice that he has to go to Yemen, Joey says "That sounds like a

real country!" Even though this one is really to show how ignorant Joey is, it nevertheless shows

again, the modicum respect that the script-writers had for smaller, third world countries.

6. Through the entire show they portray Italian men as misogynistic playboys who view women as

sex objects and cannot stay faithful to one partner. Joey is portrayed as an ignorant buffoon, who

loves that even at 32 he has not had a serious relationship, is openly proud of his infidelity and

cannot even remember which girl he slept with. Then there is Paolo, Rachel's first boyfriend after

Barry, who ultimately cheats Rachel by making a pass at Phoebe. Julio, the poet cum waiter whom

Monica dates briefly, turns out to be a misogynist.

Now most of us girls have this wild fantasy of having a short, exotic summer fling somewhere in a

Spanish countryside sipping wine and eating pizza, but that doesn't entail that all Spaniards are

infidels. 

7. When Ross wanted to get a tan and went to a tanning salon, remember that the assisting man,

clearly a hispanic person, asked him what degree of tan he wanted , 2,4,8 etc. And Ross asked

him,"What number are you?" and the guy says, "Puerto Rican". And the audience burst into laughter.

Does it sound very funny to the Puerto Rican man?

8. Janice, a seemingly annoying character who had a whiny nasal voice, was in my perspective, a

very decent-looking, independent and beautiful young woman, who really cared for Chandler.

Barring the noisy,unnatural and obvious pretend nasal voise, there was nothing "irritating" or grossly

objectionable about her. Yet somehow she ends up being the laughing stock of the soap. Good

portrayal.

9. In the Halloween episode where Rachel is pregnant and giving out sweets to kids, they show a

couple of white kids who show up at her door and stir up motherly feelings in her. Then there comes

along a naughty kid, who hears that she has been giving out money and is adamant to accept

candies. The role of this kid is played by an afro-American kid. Deliberate or not, this also sends out

this very anti-social message that 'black' kids are the one who cause all the trouble. Not very friendly

now, eh?

10. There is a short girl who Joey dates. She hits Joey, a bit too hard and a lot when excited, all in

good humour. They make various euphemisms to her short height and laugh a lot.Ultimately at the

end of the show, Rachel ends up kicking the girl in the shins and Joey doesn't even have the

decency to end things properly with her just because she hits him a bit too hard. That's insensitive

and shaming and damn just very sad.

11. In the wedding day after-party of Monica and Chandler where Ross meets Mona, remember how

he dances with the little girls to impress Mona? Well, he danced with two pretty looking girls until a

third, very obese girl came up and wanted to dance with him. Ross initially tries to dance with her on

his feet, but later screams at her saying, "Maybe I should dance on your feet!" That's just downright

unkind to a kid. We take it in good humor but imagine an obese kid watching this scene. What

message does the show sends them?

12. Monica's childhood is depicted as a sad one, when she was very obese and where the only joy

she got was from eating. So, like, fat girls' lives are not as cool as slim kids? And when she is

taunted by Chandler, Monica turns her life around in an year to become stick thin. Now Chandler is

mesmerized by her, she is finally confident and happy and is succcessful. 

 At one point Chandler says " Do you think I am that shallow?" to Monica's statement " You won't be

dating me if I was still fat."

Ross says, "No, Monica was that fat! "

So, like, your personality, likeability and degree of success is proportional to how thin you are?

There is nothing funny about sizeism and fat shaming.

 A dangerous and depressing message sent: "People are gonna laugh at you if you are fat!"

13. In the episode where Ross' capuchin gets away, the animal control personnel turns out to be an

old class-mate of Monica and Rachel's. She was apparently bullied by Rachel in high school and

holds a grudge against them. They persuade her to drop charges but in vain. Finally Rachel

blackmails her that they would complain to her supervisor that she had hit Phoebe with a tranquilizer

dart, which actually was an accident when Phoebe dove in the way to save the monkey from the

dart. 

So its a gazzilion years since high school and Rachel is still the snotty bully she used to be. Not only

did she bully the woman who was only doing what was rightfully her job, she was also supporting her

friend to evade law and keep an exotic, non-pet-able animal in his home but also sending out the

message that some things do not ever really change, they continue to be bitches. All in the name of

friendship! Huh!

14. The final and the saddest one. In "The One With the List" Ross lists out that Rachel is 'just a

waitress' in comparison to his Chinese origin girlfriend Julie, a paleontologist who mirrors his

interests. But then he says, "But she isn't Rachel".

For one thing, Ross and Rachel's relationship was a male gaze-centric nerd power fantasy.  In spite

of having been with so many women, Ross couldn't get over his high school crush, who couldn't care

less about his sensitive feelings, just because she is so hot and within his circle. 

The biggest pair shipped upon was a baseless relationship. So a perfectly good, independent and

strong woman couldn't hold a candle to Ross' perception of Rachel, based on childhood fantasies.

Real mature! There is basically no connection between Ross and Rachel and a relationship like that

would never be feasible in the real world. They never show that Ross loves Rachel because of the

plethora of other qualities she might have: independent, goal-oriented and headstrong. He even

goes onto tell Rachel that her job is "Just a job!" and she shouldn't let that ruin their relationship, at a

point when Rachel was trying to find her own identity and was really beginning to excel at her job. 

Their getting together was more of a self-fulfilling wish of a little boy, hungover his hot miss girl-next-

door decades after high school. An this kind of a relationship is picturised as story of star-crossed

lovers! 

Well not so funny now eh?

P.S. These are my views and might be running the possibility of looking too much into it. POV's are

most welcome!