Personal Empowerment

through

Forgiveness and

Compassion

Learning to love while letting go

Katie Steck, M.A.

Personal Story

Andrew and the letter

Forgiveness

“Forgiveness is a process (or the result of a process) that involves a change in emotion and attitude regarding an offender. Most scholars view this an intentional and voluntary process, driven by a deliberate decision to forgive. This process results in decreased motivation to retaliate or maintain estrangement from an offender despite their actions, and requires

letting go of negative emotions toward the offender.”

-American Psychological Association

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”-Lewis Smedes

Justice and Forgiveness

Retributive Justice - Focus on punishing the offender (Law of Moses - Burn house down)

Restorative Justice - Offender accountable, victim receive compensation or expressions of remorse from offender (Christ - Beauty for ashes)

Forgiveness - Positive thoughts and emotions towards offender (focusing on offender’s humanity rather than defining him or her in terms of the offense, having Christlike love)

Witvliet et al. (2008)

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Benefits of Forgiveness

In addition to lower cortisol, blood pressure, heart strain, muscle tension and other body benefits, forgiveness:

- Improves mood- Lowers the rate of psychiatric illness- Leads to a greater sense of personal control- Facilitates the restoration of relationship

closeness, which is also a predictor for lifespan

1. Acknowledge how you feel (sad, depressed, angry, shame, guilt, frustrated, betrayed, etc.)2. Understand what YOU mean by forgiveness, and decide to do it3. Work to understand the perspective of the offender and develop empathy and compassion

towards them4. Understand your own shortcomings and need for forgiveness (humility)5. Find positive meaning in past events6. Practice until you become it

What helps you to forgive?

And how do you feel when you do it?

Benefits of Compassion

Fostering compassion:

- Protects against aging effects (telomere length)

- Decreases stress reaction- Increases your ability to receive social support- Sense of well-being and life satisfaction

What helps you develop compassion for others?

And how do you feel when you do it?

“It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the

loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.”

- Mother Teresa