Strange Restaurant

I said, "I'll take the T-bone steak."A soft voice mooed, "Oh wow."And I looked up and realizedThe waitress was a cow. I cried, "Mistake--forget the steak.I'll take the chicken then."I heard a cluck--'twas just my luckThe busboy was a hen.I said, "Okay no, fowl today.I'll have the seafood dish."Then I saw through the kitchen doorThe cook--he was a fish.I screamed, "Is there anyone workin' hereWho's an onion or a beet?No? You're sure? Okay then friends,A salad's what I'll eat."They looked at me. "Oh,no," they said,"The owner is a cabbage head."

The Everything Pizza

I ordered an "everything" pizza,which probably was a mistake.For it came with a bagful of doughnuts;it came with a shovel and rake.It came with a woman named Ida.It came with a man from Peru.It came with a half jar of peanuts.It came with somebody's left shoe.It came with a clown from the circus.It came with a butterfly net.It came with a small piece of Kleenexthat was used by Marie Antoinette.It came with an open umbrella.It came with some smelly old socks.It came with a picture of Lassie,and two lovely grandfather clocks.It came with a nice set of dishes.It came with a stale loaf of bread.It came with a sack of potatoes.

It came with a four poster bed.It came with a dining room table.It came with a washer and dryer.It came with a broken guitar string.It came with a radial tire.It came with a golden retriever.It came with a basket of fruit.It came with a bottle of mustard.It came with a red rubber boot.It came with a college professor.It came with a hive full of bees.And then - this is simply amazing -they forgot to put on any cheese!

Linda J. Knaus

Beans, Beans, Beans

Baked beans,Butter beans,Big fat lima beans,Long thin string beans-Those are just a few.

Green beans,Black beans,Big fat kidney beans,Red hot chili beans,Jumping beans too.

Pea beans,Pinto beans,Don't forget Shelly beans.

Last of all,Best of all,I like jelly beans!

Egg-Thoughts

I do not like the way you slide,I do not like your soft inside,I do not like you many ways,And I could do for many days,Without a soft-boiled egg.

Mix a pancake,Stir a pancake,Pop it in the pan;Fry a pancake,Toss a pancake,Catch it if you can!

Christina Rossetti ------------------------------------------------------------------------

One potato, two potato,Three potato, four;I like mashed potato,May I please have some more?

Mashed Potatoes

Mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes,Piled up high,Mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes,Up to the sky.

Mashed potato clouds,Mashed potato moon,Scoop it all up with a giant spoon!

One, One Cinnamon Bun

One, oneCinnamon bun

Two, twoChicken stew

Three, threeCakes and tea

Five, fiveHoney in a hive

Seven, sevenStraight from heaven

Eight, eightClean our plate

Nine, nine

Look at mine

Ten, tenStart over again!

Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.Spread it thick,Say it quick.Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.Spread it thicker,Say it quicker.Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.Now repeat it,While you eat it,Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.Don't talkWith your mouth full!

Mary Ann Hobermann

Applesauce

(to the tune of "Yankee Doodle")

Peel an apple,cut it up,cook it in a pot.When you taste ityou will findit's applesauce you've got.

Anna Banana

Anna Banana, jump into the stew:Gravy and carrots are good for you.Good for your teeth,And your fingernails too,So Anna Banana, jump into the stew!

Spaghetti

Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Heaped in a mound;Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Winds, winds around.

Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Slips, dips, and trips;Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Slithers and drips;

Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Slurps, sloops, and droops;Spaghetti,Spaghetti,

Comes in groups;

Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Twists, turns, and bends;Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Never ever ends!

Oodles of Noodles

I love noodles. Give me oodles.Make a mound up to the sun.Noodles are my favorite foodles.I eat noodles by the ton.