five strategies to win - polymath innovations...25. i seek to discover win-win solutions to problems...

RELATIONSHIP SKILLS THAT DELIVER RESULTS

FIVE STRATEGIES TO

WINPEOPLE

with

PARTICIPANT GUIDE

BASED ON CONTENT FROM JOHN C. MAXWELL

2 The John Maxwell Company

FIVE STR ATEGIES TO WIN WITH PEOPLEPARTICIPANT GUIDE

FIVE STR ATEGIES TO WIN WITH PEOPLE

3The John Maxwell Company

PARTICIPANT GUIDE

TABLE OF CONTENTSINTRODUCTION 4

Objectives 4

Five Strategies Overview 5

STRATEGY 1: PREPARE YOURSELF 8

The Mirror Principle 8 The Lens Principle 11

STRATEGY 2: CONNECT WITH OTHERS 13

The Approachability Principle 13

Generational Diversity 16

The Charisma Principle 17

STRATEGY 3: BUILD MUTUAL TRUST 20

The Exchange Principle 20

The Situation Principle 22

STRATEGY 4: MANAGE CONFLICT 25

The High Road Principle 27

The Confrontation Principle 29

STRATEGY 5: CREATE SYNERGY 31

The Boomerang Principle 32

The Partnership Principle 33

WIN WITH PEOPLE ACTION PLAN 36



IN T RODUC T ION

OBJECTIVESThis workshop will provide you with practical strategies and insights to develop relationship skills that deliver results within your organization. Over the course of this workshop, you will:

• Demonstrate how relational chemistry impacts bottom-line results in organizations.

• Explain why an accurate self-assessment is foundational to healthy relationships.

• Reveal how to connect with others more effectively by understanding diversity in personalities and across generational differences.

• Explain why conflict and tension are a normal and necessary part of growth for any team or organization.

• Demonstrate practical, proven strategies for managing conflict well.

• Reveal how to find synergy by investing in win-win relationships that deliver results.

NOTES:

INTRODUCTION



PARTICIPANT GUIDE

FIVE STRATEGIES TO WIN WITH PEOPLETAKE NOTES ON THE FIVE CORE STRATEGIES AS THEY ARE INTRODUCED.

3Build Mutual Trust

1Prepare Yourself

2Connect with Others

4Manage Conflict

5Create Synergy



HOW THIS WORKSHOP INCREASES YOUR INFLUENCEYour personal growth is a life-long process. The diagram below illustrates John Maxwell’s The Five Levels of Leadership, a proven paradigm for evaluating your influence with others to help you realize your full potential. This The Five Strategies to Win With People Workshop focuses on developing skill sets most closely associated with becoming a Level 2 leader. Your success at Level 2—Permission—positions you to succeed at Level 3—Production.

PRODUCTION- Results -

People follow you because of what you have done for the organization.

PEOPLE DEVELOPMENT- Reproduction -

People follow you because of what you have done for them.

POSITION- Rights -

People follow you because they have to.

1

PERMISSION- Relationships -

People follow you because they want to.

2

3

4

PINNACLE- Respect -

People follow you because of who you are and what you represent.

5

54321INTRODUCTION

14THE FIVE LEVELS OF LEADERSHIP



PARTICIPANT GUIDE

FILL IN THE BLANKS with John Maxwell’s Success Equation:

JUST HOW IMPORTANT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE?

According to Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence,

“Competence is % to % Emotional intelligence.”

NOTES:

RECORD YOUR NOTES HERE AS THE FACILITATOR SHARES THE IMPACT OF RELATIONSHIPS ON THE BOTTOM LINE.

What fact surprised you most?

NOTES:

THE TOP TWO OR THREE MOST SIGNIFICANT PEOPLE CHALLENGES I FACE TODAY ARE...

NOTES:

HOW RELATIONSHIPS INFLUENCE RESULTS

+ =



Complete this series of statements from John C. Maxwell as your facilitator shares them:

I AM…

• The first person .





S TR ATEGY 1

PREPARE YOURSELF

Relationships take two people—and you are always one of those two people. Therefore, 50% of your relationship challenges can be addressed by getting to know yourself.

How well do I know myself?

Are all the problems I face caused by other people?

KEY POINT

QUESTIONS

Your ability to deliver results depends on the relationship skills you cultivate. Some people find it naturally easier to win with people while others feel as if relationships are more of a struggle. But the truth is these people skills can be learned if you are willing to start by getting to know the person most involved in all your relationships—you.

THE MIRROR PRINCIPLETHE FIRST PERSON WE MUST EXAMINE IS OURSELVES.

If you are going to prepare yourself for relationships that deliver results, you must face a series of truths about yourself. Only by seeing these truths clearly can you begin to take responsibility for your future instead of merely complaining about others.

Our inability to see ourselves clearly is our relational lid that can keep us from growing as leaders and getting things done. When we see ourselves clearly, we can do what we need to do to prepare for growth.

Human nature seems to endow people with the ability to size up everybody in the world but themselves.

John C. Maxwell



PARTICIPANT GUIDE

S T R AT EGY 1: PR EPA R E YOUR SELF

SELF-ASSESSMENT: DO YOU WIN WITH PEOPLE? Put The Mirror Principle to work for you. Take this simple self-assessment to gauge how prepared you are to win with people.Score yourself from 1-5 for each statement using the following scale to indicate how often that statement is true of you:

1 = ALMOST NEVER 2 = SELDOM 3 = SOMETIMES 4 = USUALLY 5 = ALMOST ALWAYS

AM I PREPARED FOR RELATIONSHIPS?1. I realize that the way I see myself is often not the way others see me.

2. I have learned where my own blind spots tend to create friction with others.

3. I agree that relationships that win begin with self-examination and full self-awareness.

4. I am intentional and open about getting honest feedback from other sources to compensate for my blind spots.

5. I know how to factor in my internal bias when assessing the intentions of others.

HOW WELL DO I CONNECT WITH OTHERS?6. I listen carefully to input from others with the intent to fully understand

rather than the intent to reply.

7. I understand that friction usually arises in areas where two people have similar behavioral traits.

8. I lift people up rather than bring people down.

9. I am intentional about showing an interest in other people, and they easily see it.

10. I understand and value differences across generations and personality types.

DO I SEEK TO BUILD MUTUAL TRUST?11. I always follow through on the commitments I make to others

without exception.

12. I intentionally seek to build trust with others long before I actually need it.

HOW I SEE MYSELF

Continued on next page.




PREPARE YOURSELF CONNECT WITH OTHERS BUILD MUTUAL TRUST MANAGE CONFLICT CREATE SYNERGY

13. I am both professional and skilled at admitting my mistakes and taking steps to restore trust once broken.

14. I remember people’s names and stories and refer to them when communicating.

15. I understand that what I think I hear from others is often not what they are intending to fully communicate.

HOW EFFECTIVELY DO I MANAGE CONFLICT?16. I am intentional about communicating clearly to avoid causing

unnecessary conflict.

17. I believe most people have the best interests of others at heart during challenging conversations.

18. I think of conflict as an opportunity for growth, not as something to be avoided.

19. I agree that when in conflict with others, I should treat others better than they treat me.

20. I know how to resolve conflict in a way that moves the relationship, team, or organization forward.

DO I TRY TO CREATE SYNERGY?21. I schedule and protect time to collaborate with associates.

22. I regularly help other people when I gain nothing directly from assisting them.

23. I think that projects can be improved by including others rather than always working alone.

24. I routinely let people know I need them and compliment them in front of others.

25. I seek to discover win-win solutions to problems instead of embracing the first option that seems to work.

Tally your scores for each section in the corresponding spaces below:



PARTICIPANT GUIDE


WHO YOU ARE DETERMINES HOW YOU SEE OTHERS.

It’s all too easy for us to forget that your perspective is unique to you. No one else sees things quite same way you do. And no one else sees other people quite the same way you do. To make it more challenging, you may not even see yourself realistically.

THE LENS PRINCIPLE

Each person sees others through a lens unique to him or her. Each person has blind spots that increase the challenge of seeing others clearly.

KEY POINT

Do I know my blind spots?

How often do I think of how others perceive the signals I send?

How might my natural strength areas be creating a blind spot?

QUESTIONS

STUDY THIS PUZZLE BY FOCUSING ON THE IMAGES IN BLACK:

JUST FOR FUN hold this page about 18 inches from your face with your right hand. Cover your left eye and look at the dot on the left in this image. Be aware of the cross on the right, but keep your eye on the dot. Slowly move the page closer to your face, keeping it level. When you reach your blind spot in the right eye, you will see the cross completely disappear.

If you want to keep from becoming your own worst enemy, you have to look

at yourself realistically.

John C. Maxwell




• Your ability to deliver results depends on the relationship skills you cultivate.

• The first person you must examine is yourself.

• You are the one common part of every relationship you have.

• Relationship success is essential to business success.

• Competence is largely determined by Emotional Intelligence.

• Who you are determines how you see others.

• The most important gap to close in relationships is the gap between intention and perception.

• Everyone has natural blind spots that affect how they perceive other people.

STRATEGY 1 RECAP AND KEY TAKEAWAYS

YOUR WIN WITH PEOPLE ACTION PLAN

Turn to Page 37 of this participant guide and record a specific step you can take in your Win with People Action Plan.



PARTICIPANT GUIDE

S T R AT EGY 2 : C ONNEC T W I T H OT HER S

S TR ATEGY 2

CONNECT WITH OTHERS

The process of becoming comfortable with other people begins with becoming comfortable with ourselves.

Am I comfortable with who I am?

Would my friends say that I am easy to approach about difficult issues?

When was the last time someone brought me bad news?

KEY POINT

QUESTIONS

A relationship requires other people. So it’s not surprising that, once you’ve looked within, you need to look around you and explore how to best connect with others. Yet even the experience of engaging other people begins with understanding and being comfortable with yourself. Only then can you begin to understand and connect with others to create winning relationships.

THE APPROACHABILITY PRINCIPLEBEING AT EASE WITH OURSELVES HELPS OTHERS TO BE AT EASE WITH US.

We can give no greater gift to others than putting them at ease. We’ve all met people who seemed cold and foreboding. And we’ve all met people who treat us like old friends from day one. How approachable are the most important people in your life? Being approachable is a powerful asset in your relational toolbox.

ARE YOU APPROACHABLE?

As the facilitator shares characteristics of approachable people, write down the ones that resonate with you. Put a box around traits on which you think you are strong. Circle the one where you think you could use most growth.

TRAITS:

Kindness is a language the dumb can speak and the deaf can hear and understand.

Christian Bovee




FIND YOUR RIGHTPATH

FACTOR 1

ACCOMMODATING DIRECTINGCONTROL

FACTOR 2

RESERVED ENGAGINGINTERACTION

STRENGTHS1. Loyal - follows the set agenda

2. Process-oriented

3. Speaks tactfully

4. Cooperative - promotes stability

5. Moves cautiously into new areas

6. Focused - likes to do one thing at a time

7. Sees the practical for here and now

STRUGGLES1. Can be unassertive, timid

2. May tend toward being passive

3. May be hesitant to speak out

4. May avoid taking charge

5. Tends to underestimate self

6. May agree, then regret or resent it

7. May lack strategic vision

STRENGTHS1. Initiating, wants to set the agenda

2. Results-oriented

3. Speaks directly

4. Competitive, takes on challenges

5. Moves boldly with confidence

6. Prefers multiple projects

7. Sees the strategic/future potential

STRUGGLES1. Opinionated - discount input from others

2. May be controlling and not know it

3. Typically not good at listening

4. Prefers to avoid routine and details

5. Can be self-centered and egotistical

6. Underestimates work needed to achieve goals

7. May overcommit what others can do

STRENGTHS1. Task-oriented

2. Serious and modest

3. Realistic and practical

4. Has a dry sense of humor

5. Good at persevering

6. Likes to be focused

7. Likes closure

STRUGGLES1. May appear withdrawn and aloof

2. Sometimes comes across as shy

3. Tends to be pessimistic

4. Can be curt

5. May seem quietly self-righteous

6. May appear skeptical or secretive

7. Typically drained by social contact

STRENGTHS1. Good at meeting strangers

2. Lighthearted and enthusiastic

3. Optimistic

4. Enjoys being in the spotlight

5. Good at promoting

6. Likes to make a good impression

7. Likes open-ended situations

STRUGGLES1. Strong need for approval of others

2. May talk too much

3. Tends to be overly optimistic

4. May lack focus

5. May display strong emotions

6. May be too transparent, too uninhibited

7. Usually not good at working alone



PARTICIPANT GUIDE


FACTOR 3

CHALLENGING HARMONIOUSCONFLICT AND PACE

FACTOR 4

SPONTANEOUS METHODICALORDER

STRENGTHS1. Operates well in conflict

2. Objective and cool

3. Action oriented

4. Responds quickly

5. Challenging, makes the difficult calls

6. Likes change, works at a fast pace

7. Favors logic over feelings

STRUGGLES1. Can be combative

2. May be abrupt

3. Can be judgmental and critical

4. Sometimes too impatient

5. May tend toward hyperactivity

6. Prone to be discontent

7. May appear coldhearted

STRENGTHS1. Operates best in harmony

2. Compassionate and warm

3. A good listener

4. Patient, willing to wait

5. Loyal and consistent

6. Likes stability, works at a steady pace

7. Favors feelings, shows empathy

STRUGGLES1. May compromise too much

2. May be slow to confront

3. Can be naïve and too trusting

4. Often resists change

5. Tends to be passive

6. May be complacent

7. May not verbalize true feelings

STRENGTHS1. Flexible and versatile

2. Works with broad concepts

3. Improvises and operates without procedures

4. Instinctive, operates spontaneously

5. Makes on-the-spot decisions

6. Gives a reasonable estimate

7. Responds candidly

STRUGGLES1. Not naturally organized

2. May “wing it” too much

3. May ignore rules

4. May be underprepared and overconfident

5. Can be impulsive

6. May overlook important details

7. Too informal when formality is needed

STRENGTHS1. Organized and scheduled

2. Accurate with details

3. Establishes systems

4. Prepared, rehearses carefully

5. Analyzes before deciding

6. Conducts research to determine facts

7. Responds diplomatically

STRUGGLES1. Tends to be inflexible

2. May be too picky

3. May over rely on procedures/rules

4. May overprepare but lack confidence

5. Perfectionistic to avoid mistakes

6. May focus on details and miss the goal

7. May be too formal, rigid




Diversity is the art of thinking independently together.

Malcolm Forbes

GENERATIONAL DIVERSITY Do you know your generations? By 2020, the workforce will have representatives of five generations, a trend never previously encountered in modern times. Before you can talk knowledgably about that diversity, it might help to learn the terms used in the discussion. As the facilitator shares the information, label the different generations below based on the years in which a person was born:

BEFORE 1946 1946-1964 1965-1976 1977-1997 1997-PRESENT

Never in the history of the modern world have there been four generations—much less five—in the workplace that brings such vastly different sets of values, beliefs and expectations.

KEY POINT

NOTES:



PARTICIPANT GUIDE


THE CHARISMA PRINCIPLEPEOPLE ARE INTERESTED IN THE PERSON WHO IS INTERESTED IN THEM.

It doesn’t matter how much power, education, or expertise you possess; people will respond to you more favorably if you first let them know that they matter to you as individuals.

The truth is that connecting with others in authentic ways positions you to achieve the results you want. As you show genuine interest in the agenda of others, others will tend to take a genuine interest in you.

The fastest way to connect with others is to treat others, not as you want to be treated, but as they want to be treated.

KEY POINT

Do I usually focus on others and their interests ahead of my own?

Do I show people how much I care before sharing how much I know?

Do I believe the best of others?

QUESTIONS

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can

in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

John C. Maxwell

8 PRACTICAL TIPS TO MAKE THE MOST OF DIVERSITY IN RELATIONSHIPS

ASK BEFORE YOU ACT

RECOGNIZE THAT YOUR PERSPECTIVE

IS BIASED

COMMIT TO ALWAYS BEING AN

AGILE LEARNER

AVOID THINKING IN CLICHÉS

STRETCH YOUR COMFORT ZONE

KNOW YOUR CO-WORKERS’

COMMUNICATION PREFERENCES

EVALUATE OTHERS BY THE CONTENT OF THEIR CHARACTER

TALK TO AND NOT ABOUT

OTHER PEOPLE

1

2

3

4 6 8

75

CONNECTING ACROSS DIVERSITY




54321 CONNECT WITH OTHERS

CONFUSION

DISCOURAGEMENT

ENCOURAGEMENT

FRUSTRATION

RIGHT WORDS

WRONG WORDS

RIGHT TIMEWRONG TIME

59RIGHT WORDS / RIGHT TIMERIGHT WORDS/RIGHT TIME

PRACTICAL WAYS TO BUILD TRUST1. Practice the _________________ - _____________________________ rule.

2. Say the right _____________________ at the right _______________________.

3. Offer your ___________________ _______________________.

4. Keep your eye off the ___________________________________.

5. Remember a person’s ___________________________________.



PARTICIPANT GUIDE


WHO YOU ARE DETERMINES HOW YOU SEE OTHERS.

• Being at ease with yourself helps others to be at ease with you.

• Approachable people appreciate people for who they are and what they have to offer.

• You can make a unique contribution if you first know yourself—and then get to know others.

• Today’s workplace has more generational diversity than any in modern times.

• Generational diversity can give teams uncommon strength by drawing on experience while embracing innovation.

• People are interested in the person who is interested in them.

• Approachable people truly like people. To be approachable, you need to generate personal warmth toward the people you meet.

• People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.






S T R AT EGY 3 : BUILD MU T UA L T RUS T

S TR ATEGY 3

BUILD MUTUAL TRUST

Learning to see things from others’ perspectives helps us succeed in our relationships and begin to build mutual trust.

Do I try to see things from others’ point of view?

Do I try to leave “my place” and visit “their place”?

Do I approach people with a desire to learn more about them?

KEY POINT

QUESTIONS

Why do many personal and business relationships fall apart? The reasons for such breakdowns are many, but at the foundation of them all is broken trust. John Maxwell says that trust is the bedrock for relationships, the foundation of everything. But you must be able to communicate an attitude of selflessness in order to build mutual trust.

THE EXCHANGE PRINCIPLEINSTEAD OF PUTTING OTHERS IN THEIR PLACE, WE MUST PUT OURSELVES IN THEIR PLACE.

Building mutual trust starts with identifying your blind spots and seeking to connect with others in an authentic way. But it’s not enough to recognize that the other person’s perspective may be different. You must seek to understand what it is like to walk in their shoes.

THREE QUESTIONS PEOPLE ARE ASKING ABOUT YOU

1. Compassion _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________

2. Competence _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________

3. Character _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________

The best way to keep from stepping on other people’s

toes is to put yourself in their shoes.

John C. Maxwell



PARTICIPANT GUIDE


YOUR RELATIONAL BANK ACCOUNT

RELATIONSHIPS THAT NEED MY INVESTMENT:

It is more rewarding to resolve a situation than to dissolve a relationship.

How often do I put situations ahead of relationships?

Can others trust me to always put people first?

KEY POINT

QUESTIONS

FIVE STEPS TOWARD RESTORING TRUST1. Apologize.

2. Ask yourself why you broke the trust.

3. Correct the issue in your life.

4. Realize re-building trust takes time.

5. Understand that trust is restored by deeds, not merely words.




BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENINGNOTES:

We break down listening barriers by actively pursuing understanding, especially by asking great questions.

How often do I say “I don’t know” or “I need your help”?

How often do I ask “Why?”

KEY POINT

QUESTIONS

Before you begin to set things right, make sure you see things right.

Anonymous

THE SITUATION PRINCIPLENEVER LET THE SITUATION MEAN MORE THAN THE RELATIONSHIP.

Many people expect relationships to be smooth sailing. That’s really pretty naïve. Keeping relationships strong is a decision. Anytime a person puts the situation ahead of the relationship, it happens for one reason: loss of perspective. But people are always more important than mere things. Our property, our position or power, and our agenda are transitory.

Volatile

Deceitful

Selfish

Draining

Insecure

Manipulating

Conditional

Breaking

Steady

Open

Mature

Refreshing

Secure

Accepting

Unconditional

Bonding

OROROROR

OROROROR

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? CIRCLE THE WORDS THAT BEST FIT:



PARTICIPANT GUIDE


1. You only get to the questions you .

2. Questions and doors that otherwise would remain closed.

3. Questions are the most means of with people.

4. Questions cultivate .

5. Questions help you to others in .

6. Questions allow us to build .

7. Questions give us a different .

8. Questions challenge and get you out of .

GOOD LEADERS ASK GREAT QUESTIONS

TAKE A LISTENING AUDIT—EVERY DAY

The secret of your success is determined by your daily agenda. If you make a few key decisions and then manage them well in your daily agenda, you will succeed. You will never

change your life until you change something you do daily. You see, success doesn’t just suddenly occur one day in someone’s life. For that matter, neither does failure. Each is a

process. Every day of your life is merely preparation for the next. What you become is the result of what you do today.

John C. Maxwell

Am I open to other people’s ideas?

Am I open to changing my opinion based on new information?

Am I actively seeking feedback and input in order to move the team forward?

Do I act defensively when criticized, or do I listen openly for the truth?

Do I ask questions in every conversation?

Rate your strength in these listening areas on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the strongest):

A major stimulant to creative thinking is focused questions.

Brian Tracy

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10





• Trust is the bedrock for relationships, the foundation of everything.

• Instead of putting others in their place, we must put ourselves in their place.

• Never let the situation mean more than the relationship.

• Trust is like a bank account—you have got to keep making deposits if you want it to grow.

• Keeping relationships strong is a decision you can and must make.

• It is more rewarding to resolve a situation than to dissolve a relationship.

• You break down listening barriers by actively pursuing understanding.

• The secret to understanding other people lies in asking great questions.

• Your daily listening habits will go a long way toward determining your relationship success.





PARTICIPANT GUIDE

SEC T ION 4 : M A N AGE C ONF LIC T

MOST POPULAR RESPONSES TO CONFLICT

S TR ATEGY 4

MANAGE CONFLICT

If we think we can reach a place where we have no more conflict, we are in conflict with reality.

KEY POINT

Has my productivity ever been hampered by conflict in the workplace?

How do I tend to respond to conflict?

Do I think of conflict and tension as always being bad?

QUESTIONS

HOW MUCH DOES CONFLICT COST?

Write down the facts your facilitator shares that surprise you the most about the high cost of conflict in the workplace:

NOTES:

All people have an instinct for conflict.Hilliaire Belloc, Historian/Writer

• Win at all costs. It’s like a shootout at the OK Corral. It’s quick, brutal, and destructive.

• Pretend it doesn’t exist. If you hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil, evil will not cease to exist.

• Whine about it. Playing the victim doesn’t cure conflict. It just irritates everybody.

• Keep score. People who keep a record of wrongs can’t ever start over fresh. And nobody can ever get “even.”

• Pull rank. Using position never really solves conflict. It merely postpones it.

• White flag it. Quitting is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.




COMMUNICATION CHALLENGES

HOW MUCH OF COMMUNICATION DEPENDS ON THE WORDS YOU USE? FILL IN THE BLANKS WITH THE FOLLOWING OPTIONS TO SHOW HOW MUCH OF COMMUNICATION IS

• Verbal—What You Say

• Vocal—How You Say It

• Visual—What Others See

ACTIVITY

NOTES:

Conflict is like cancer; early detection increases the possibility of

a healthy outcome.John C. Maxwell

VISUAL

VERBAL

VOCAL



PARTICIPANT GUIDE


THE HIGH ROAD PRINCIPLE

When in conflict with others, we can choose how to respond. The natural tendency is to give back to them what we receive from them. But that only makes the situation worse—even if it feels better for a moment.

Complete the description of how we treat others for each option below:

WE GO TO A HIGHER LEVEL WHEN WE TREAT OTHERS BETTER THAN THEY TREAT US.

HIGH ROAD YOU TREAT OTHERS THE

MIDDLE ROAD YOU TREAT OTHERS THE

LOW ROAD YOU TREAT OTHERS THE

WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A HIGH ROADER

• Recognize your own need for grace and extend it to others.

• Set higher standards for yourself than others would.

• Make excellence your goal—always.

• Care more than others think you should.

• Risk more than others think is safe.

• Dream more than others think is practical.

• Expect more than others think is possible.

• Work more than others think is necessary.




NOTES

MY TOP THREE CONFLICTS

SUBJECT OF THE CONFLICT PEOPLE INVOLVED WHAT HAPPENED? TRIGGER WORD

Example: Making copies My coworker and I

My co-worker accused me of not caring by saying: “You

never refill the copier with paper after you use it all.”

Never

1:

2:

3:



PARTICIPANT GUIDE


You can choose your response to conflict with others. And the more you care, the better you will respond.

KEY POINT

NOTES

What do I find most difficult about taking the high road in conflicts?

Am I more concerned with getting even or solving the problem?

Do I care enough to confront in the right way?

QUESTIONS

THE CONFRONTATION PRINCIPLECARING FOR PEOPLE SHOULD PRECEDE CONFRONTING PEOPLE.

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

John C. Maxwell

YOUR ROAD MAP TO HEALTHY CONFRONTATION

Confront only if you care

1

Meet together ASAP

2

First seek understanding

3

Outline the issue

4

Encourage a response

5

Agree to an action plan

6





• Conflict is inescapable as part of the universal human experience.

• More than 90% of your communication happens without words.

• You can choose how you respond to conflict.

• You go to a higher level when you treat others better than they treat you.

• Caring for people should precede confronting people.

• When Bob has a problem with everyone, Bob is usually the problem.

• You can unintentionally cause conflict by responding in a manner consistent with your strengths.

• Successful confrontation usually changes both people, not just one.





PARTICIPANT GUIDE

SEC T ION 5 : C R E AT E S Y NERGY

S TR ATEGY 5

CREATE SYNERGY

When you create synergy, you can deliver results together that none of you could have produced alone.

KEY POINT

Do I seek to bring out the best in my coworkers?

How often do I help someone while expecting nothing in return?

Would I describe my outlook as one of scarcity or abundance?

QUESTIONS

NOTES:

Synergy happens as a result of two or more people working together in a way that 1+1= >2. Such relationships add value to all and position a team to achieve greater results together, thus extending the influence and impact of each individual. Synergy usually occurs when two persons with different complementary skills cooperate to produce something greater than either one could have imagined or achieved on his or her own. Synergy is most likely to happen naturally as a result of addressing the first four Strategies to Win with People.

Synergy—the bonus that is achieved when things work together harmoniously.

Mark Twain




NOTES:

THE BOOMERANG PRINCIPLE

WHEN WE HELP OTHERS, WE HELP OURSELVES.

Synergy is the highest activity of life; it creates new untapped alternatives; it values and exploits the mental, emotional, and psychological differences

between people.

Stephen Covey

FIVE CRITICAL STEPS TO CREATE SYNERGYCOMPLETE THE FOLLOWING LIST AS YOUR FACILITATOR SHARES THE STEPS:

How well do I respond when my help is rejected or abused?

Do I help others with the expectation of help in return?

QUESTIONS

Just like a boomerang returns to the person who threw it—when we help others, the help returns to us though not always in the way we would expect. In the workplace, we tend to think in terms of single transactions: “If I do X service, I get Y payment.” Or “If we complete X project, we get Y reward.”

But synergy usually is not a straightforward transaction, but a dynamic process built on living relationships.

1. Think “______________ _________________.”

2. Focus on the _______________________, not the _____________________.

3. Pick out a few people with great __________________________.

4. Begin the __________________, with their __________________________.

5. Enjoy a return in _________ _______________________.



PARTICIPANT GUIDE


THE PARTNERSHIP PRINCIPLE

WORKING TOGETHER INCREASES THE ODDS OF WINNING TOGETHER.

Partnerships are a little more strategic than the general call to help others. Try to build relationships with everyone, but forge closer alliances and partnerships with only a few. Those closest to you form what John Maxwell calls your “Inner Circle.” They will go a long way toward determining your long-term success.

Find capable people with the same passion, standards, and mission as yours who also need others to make a difference. These relationships will lead to many rewarding partnerships. Together you will do things that exceed even your own expectations.

A leader’s potential is determined by those closest to him.— John C. Maxwell’s Law of the Inner Circle

KEY POINT

Do people look to me for synergistic partnerships or run from me?

Do I occasionally or continually cultivate my relationships?

Do I take others with me, even when it’s inconvenient?

QUESTIONS

One is too small a number to achieve greatness.

John C. Maxwell

PRACTICAL WAYS TO WIN WITH PEOPLE

NOTES:

T

1. Let people _____________________ you _________________________ them.

2. __________________________________ people in front of other people.

3. Pass the ____________________________________________ on to others.

4. Be the first to ____________________________________________________.

5. _________________________ with no ________________________ attached.




NOTES:

WHAT CONNECTS?

SYNERGY STARTS WITH CONNECTION

You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.

Zig Ziglar



PARTICIPANT GUIDE



• When you create synergy, you can deliver results together that none of you could have produced alone.

• Synergy usually occurs when two persons with different complementary skills cooperate to produce something greater than either one could have imagined or achieved on his or her own.

• When we help others, we help ourselves.

• Teamwork makes the dream work.

• Working together increases the odds of winning together.

• A leader’s potential is determined by those closest to him.

• One is too small a number to achieve greatness.


Turn to page 37 to complete your Win with People Action Plan.



LE A DER SHIP AC T ION PL A N

ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER

WIN WITH PEOPLE ACTION PLAN

OVERVIEWThe purpose of this action plan is to help you convert your knowledge into results. Set yourself up for success by capitalizing on your strengths and working with an accountability partner to help make what you’ve learned in this workshop become a reality.

MY WIN WITH PEOPLE ACTION PLANMake your development actions as specific as possible. For example, instead of “improve my communications skills” a more specific action would be to “improve the clarity and grammar of my emails” or “make eye contact in every conversation for the next week.”

Be sure to write actions that are time-bound. For this action plan, try to come up with ideas you can accomplish within the next thirty days.

On the following page, you will find room to record action steps for each strategy throughout the workshop. By writing them down as you go, you can be ready to realize your potential and that of your entire team.

NAME

PHONE NUMBER

CONNECTION DATE

EMAIL


Turn the page to complete your Win with People Action Plan.



PARTICIPANT GUIDE


PREPARE YOURSELFRelationships take two people—and you are always one of those two people. Therefore, 50% of your relationship challenges can be addressed by getting to know yourself well, even as you connect with others.

CONNECT WITH OTHERSOnce you’ve looked within, you need to explore how to best connect with others. The fastest way to connect with others is to treat others, not as you want to be treated, but as they want to be treated.

BUILD MUTUAL TRUSTTrust is the bedrock for relationships, the foundation of everything. But you must be able to communicate an attitude of selflessness in order to build mutual trust.

CREATE SYNERGYSynergistic relationships add value to all and position a team to achieve greater results together, thus extending the influence and impact of each individual.

MANAGE CONFLICTIf you think you can reach a place where we have no more conflict, you are in conflict with reality. But conflict can be an opportunity for growth if managed well.




NOTES



PARTICIPANT GUIDE


NOTES

five strategies to win - polymath innovations...25. i seek to discover win-win solutions to problems...

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