first ladies
DESCRIPTION
First LadiesTRANSCRIPT
Herstory:’ America s Most Bangable First Ladies
Frances FolsomCleveland • Young stuff – married
the 48 year old Cleveland at age 21
•Wore low-cut dresses
•Good liar – Helped hide Cleveland’s jaw cancer
Defini
tely B
ang-ab
le
Mamie Eisenhower • Seems kinda kooky
•Nickname was “Puddy”
•Came from a family of meatpackers
•Shorty: 5’1”
•First president's wife known to be kissed openly in publicWhy
Not?
Sarah Polk • Hot like an old timey Winona Ryder
•Tall, black hair, brown eyes, sallow coloring: "Sahara Sarah”
•Banned hard liquor and dancing
Not Ba
ng-abl
e
Grace Coolidge • Pet raccoon. ‘Nuff said.
•Baseball fan
•Keep it Cool with Coolidge
Crazy
Bang-a
ble
Abigail Adams• Looks remarkably similar to actress Laura Linney
•Nominated for three Academy Awards and two Emmys
•In 2007, at age 264 she was reportedly engaged to Telluride real estate mogul, Mark Schauer
Bang-a
ble
Pat Nixon•First First Lady to earn a graduate degree
•Skipped the second grade
•Travelled the world for many good causes
•Married Dick NixonCom
pletel
y
Un-Ban
g-able
Nellie Taft • Didn’t mind a fattie
•Smoker, heavy drinker, gambler
•Had a taste for some of the more scandalous "sex plays" of the 1920s
24-7 B
ang-ab
le
Margaret Taylor• Bitch face
•Married to “Old Rough and Ready”
•Crude recluse from the frontier who smoked a corncob pipe and was kept hidden by her mortified family in the attic
In a p
inch
" " Lady Bird Johnson • Goes by “Lady Bird”
•$$$ – Lady Bird owned multiple TV and radio stations
•Author of a Beaver Hunt like publication called Wildflowers Across America
Super
Bang-a
ble
Julia Tyler • Long head
•Prone to be indiscreet, impulsive and reckless
•Played guitar and sang
Bang C
ity
Julia Grant• Built like a tough little Irish kid
•Wall-eyed
•Liked living beyond her means
•Wall-eyed
Oddly
Bang-a
ble
Florence Harding• Totally poisoned her cheatin’ ass husband Warren
•Eloped with her first husband at age 19; bore an out of wedlock child; and divorced 6 years later
•Crazy into astrology and quack doctorsOnl
y if y
ou’re
into c
razies
Mary Todd Lincoln• Old baby face
•Suffered from severe depression, anxiety and paranoia
•An accident threw her from a carriage
•Her son died
•Her husband got assassinated
•Committed to an asylum and tried to commit suicide twice
Bad Ju
Ju
Ida McKinley• Looks like Orlando Bloom dressed as an elf
Bang-a
ble
•Sick/Crazy/Heavily sedated invalid
Dolley Madison• Big tits
•Kicked out of the Quakers
•Lived at 4th and Walnut – Good for late night post-Old City booty call
•Rumored to have had an affair with notorious bootknocker Thomas Jefferson
•Good in a fire
Sign M
e Up