female bullying in the workplace
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8/3/2019 Female bullying in the workplace
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40 Psychologies February/March 2010
As the victim o three
years o ‘systema-
tic isolation, gossip
and demoralisa-
tion’ by her head o
department, Kir-
sten, 39, a teacher
in Johannesburg,eels at a loss. It started with ne-
gative comments about her work
– ‘she has never said anything posi-
tive’ – then her boss ignored her
openly, and in meetings. ‘When I
stood in her oice and I was the
only one there, she wouldn’t look
up,’ says Kirsten. Soon, her bosswas swamping her with three times
the workload o her colleagues,
denying her requests to attend con-erences and belittling her in ront
o her superiors.
Thandiswe, 30, is a receptionist in
a oreign-owned company based in
Cape Town. In her irst year o
working there, she reported to the
PA or the CEO. ‘She speaks or
the chairperson, who is male – she
is the only one who communicates
directly with him,’ says Thandiswe,
who describes the company as
‘extremely hierarchical and ear-
driven’. ‘She’d phone to give meinstructions, then slam the phone
down while I was trying to clariy
what was required,’ she says. ‘She
speaks in a oreign language to our
superiors so I don’t know what’s
going on, and she oten makes rac-
ist comments in English in ront
o me. When I try to address herdirectly she either ignores me or
verbally abuses me.’
For Cherise, 50, work lie at alarge Johannesburg corporation has
become a living hell ater two years
o bullying by her direct boss, who
is much younger than her. ‘It star-
ted with snide comments about
what I was eating or wearing,’ she
says. Then things bec ame more
overt. ‘She began interrupting me
in meetings, belittling me or “put-
ting me in my place” in ront o
clients. She claimed the glory or
projects I had done, oten calling
me in to discuss retrenchment. Shedid everything she could to make
me eel worthless and insecure –
even though I know I’m competent
and hard-working.’
Thanks to the recession, bullying
in South Arica is on the rise. Re-
search rom the Workplace Dignity
Institute (WDI) in Johannesburgsuggests we are on a par with the
US when it comes to a sharp rise
in oce bullying. ‘The victims andwitnesses o workplace bullying
and aggression in South Arica are
currently spending 4,5 hours each
week dealing with it,’ says Dr Susan
Steinmann o the WDI. This means
Due to heightened job insecurity, victimisation in theofce is on the rise. And it’s other women at workwe need to watch out for. By Karen Jayes
Women bullying
workplace
February/March 2010 Psychologies 41
that bullying costs us about R70
billion a year.
Shockingly, women make up
nearly 40 percent o oce bullies,
and they choose other women as
targets 71 percent o the time. It’s
a statistic that begs the question:
how are women supposed to getahead in the corporate world when
we are oten our own worst ene-
mies? ‘When you are up against a
emale bully,’ says Johannesburg
career psychologist Dr Cecile Ger-
icke, author o Dance on Your Glass
Ceiling (Aardvark), ‘it’s not a glass
ceiling you are up against – it’s aconcrete wall.’
Hw h tGossip, oensive remarks, sarcasm,
constant belittlement, criticism and
verbal abuse – whether to others or
directly to the victim – are some o
the tactics industrial psychologist
Charlotte Pieterson identied among
emale bullies. In her study, ‘Inter-
personal Bullying in the Workplace’,
published in the 2007 South Afri-
can Journal of Industrial Psychology,
Pieterson describes bullying as
behaviour ‘directed systematically
at one or more colleagues or sub-ordinates, leading to victimisation
o the target’.
‘Bullying can occur at all levels,’
says Pieterson, who is based at the
University o Limpopo. ‘It can be
a supervisor against a subordinate,
or a subordinate against a super-
visor. Women might also bullyellow co-workers.’
‘Women are more covert and
under-handed in their bullying,’says Steinmann, ‘which makes it
more dangerous because you can’t
see it coming.’ Female bullying,
according to the US-based Work-
place Bullying Institute, is oten
described as relational, meaningthat women will use their emotion-
al intelligence as their primary
bullying tool, and may even use
riendship or allegiances to belittle
or isolate their target.
Female bullies plan their attacks
careully, says Elsabé Manning,
a Johannesburg executive coach
and manager o Success Factory.
‘A bully will gain power by isolat-
ing her victim, playing one person
against another, and creating adivide-and-conquer situation. She
will also gossip and threaten, and
might wait or the boss to be around
to “out” her victim by initiating a
discussion about a faw.’
‘Women are more subtle,’ says
Pieterson. ‘It’s the way we are social-
ised. But a emale bully is the worst
kind. I you are a subordinate under
a emale bully, you are in hell.’
Wh h tFemale bullies, says Manning, care
nothing or ‘sisterhood’. ‘Their ear
o ailure or desire to dominate is
stronger than their concern or ano-
ther’s pain,’ she says. ‘I you are
climbing the corporate ladder andyou have to step on others, you do
– that’s the system we work in, and
it works to the bully’s advantage.’Such aggressive organisational cul-
tures excuse bullying, and even
condone it, says Steinmann. Just
look at TV programmes such as
Big Brother and The Apprentice, i l l u s t r a t i o n : c r i s t a l s m i t h
Wn tgt th t tt.
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8/3/2019 Female bullying in the workplace
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42 Psychologies February/March 2010 February/March 2010 Psychologies 43
which are built around bullying,
as well as the soap opera stereotypeo the sexy, bitchy corporate ladder-
climber. These shows encourage
emale bullies. When she abuses,
she appears as i she is playing the
game. She chooses other women as
victims due to what Steinmann
describes as ‘the risk assessment’:
other women are less likely to stand
up to abuse.
Psychologists say that another
reason or emale bullying is hyper-
emotionality: we’re more likely tooverreact or take the usual oce
snags and jabs personally. ‘Chro-
nic rage can motivate bullies,’ says
Manning. ‘The slightest thing pro-
vokes them.’ Women also conuse
assertiveness with aggressiveness,
says Pieterson. ‘And emale bullies
also have a drive to prove them-
selves and hang on to their power
– no matter what.’This drive is oten grounded in
a perception that there are not
enough opportunities or women
going around. The 2009 Business-
women’s Association (BWA) South
Arican Women in Leadership Cen-
sus indicates that women ll only
3,5 percent o CEO or MD posi-tions in JSE-listed companies, are
underrepresented as chairs o
boards (we hold 5,8 percent o posi-tions) and ll a meagre 18,6 percent
o executive manager positions. In
South Arica, it is still a ight or
women to get to the top – and this
encourages us to bully each other.
And despite our modern eminist
ideal to ‘have it all’, there comes apoint where a woman has to make
a choice, especially at the higher
levels, says BWA board member
Kunyalala Maphisa, due to the
pressures o ‘juggling work and
amily’. Choosing their career, or
some women, can come with eel-
ings o envy or those whom they
perceive as handling the work-lie
balance better than them. And this
envy is meted out in the oce.
‘But,’ says Steinmann, ‘personali-ties and emotions aside, most o
our bullying is opportunistic. I
I look at emale bullies, they are
allowed to do it. There is a lack o
policy to deal with them – and su-
pervisors don’t scrutinise them.
This means that they eel entitled.’
‘A emale bully is somebody who
cannot handle the responsibility
that comes with power,’ says Man-ning. ‘Behind their conidence is
deep insecurity.’
This insecurity can also be rus-
trated by poorly implemented
armative action policies, which
see women bullying in order to
hang onto positions or which they
are underqualied – or meting outabuse on other women because
they are racially or ethnically preju-
diced against them. Minorities areespecially vulnerable to bullies. ‘I
we don’t learn to handle armative
action, racial and cultural diversity
better,’ says Pieterson, ‘bullying will
get worse.’
Th cnqnc
Bullies are costly employees. Notonly do they traumatise victims,
but they undermine individual and
company productivity. ‘I’m a ma-
nager and I am supposed to be
authoritative,’ says Cherise, ‘but my
clients choose to rather deal withmy boss instead o me. They see
I’m always overruled, even though
I’m more competent at specic ac-
tions than she is, and our company
is structured so that it’s my job to
do these things.’
The eects on the victim can be
devastating. They range rom loss
o sleep, decreased appetite and
physical maniestations o stress
(Thandiswe reported prouse bleed-
ing during menstruation, whileKirsten broke a tooth rom grind-
ing her teeth due to anxiety) to
depression. ‘In 55 percent o cases,’
says Steinmann, ‘we observe severe
symptoms o depression, and even
post-traumatic stress.’
Victims, especially women, spend
most o their time worrying about
where they’re going wrong, instead
o pinpointing the perpetrator.‘There is a complete lack o per-
spective,’ says Pieterson. ‘Because
bullying occurs over a sustained
period o time, and is systematic,
the victim doesn’t realise what is
going on, and she becomes so
depressed and trapped that she
doesn’t know how to get out.’
Th w wHow you are able to deal with abully depends very much on the
culture o your organisation, says
Pieterson. ‘Most people don’t con-
ront a bully, because the culture o
the company orbids it. In most
cases, victims simply leave. Noth-
ing is resolved, and they carry thescars o this experience into other
jobs, or even their personal lives.’
But there are ways to disarm a
bully (see box, right). ‘Unless you
ind the courage to stand up or
yoursel,’ says Manning, ‘you areenabling the bully.’ Being meek and
trying your best to please someone
who is victimising you will only en-
courage urther bullying. ‘I you
want to stop the behaviour, you
must stop the pay-o,’ she says.
Thandiswe launched a complaint
with her HR manager via email.
When she received no response, she
phoned the Commission or Con-
ciliation, Mediation and Arbitration
(CCMA). ‘I work in an open-planoce,’ she says, ‘so everyone heard
me make the call. I requested a griev-
ance orm, and when I put down the
phone I asked my HR manager to
help me ll out the orm. She called
me into her oice and asked me
what was wrong. When I mentioned
the unanswered email, she pretend-
ed that she had not seen it – even
though I could tell rom her com-puter that it had been read. I don’t
think they thought I had the guts
to call the CCMA. Now, the PA is
quieter around me, though there
is still tension. At least she knows
I won’t tolerate abuse.’
the effects on the victim can range
from loss of sleep to decreased
appetite, severe depression and evenpost-traumatic stress
workplace
TO READWhen You Work for a Bully: Assessing Your Options and Taking Action by s f (c)Girl Wars: 12 Strategies ThatWill End Female Bullying by cy d (f)
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