female bullying in the workplace

2
40 Psychologies February/March 2010  A s the victim o three years o ‘systema- tic isolation, gossip and demoralisa- tion’ by her head o department, Kir- sten, 39, a teacher in Johannesburg, eels at a loss. It started with ne- gative comments about her work  – ‘she has never said anything posi- tive’ – then her boss ignored her openly, and in meetings. ‘When I stood in her oice and I was the only one there, she wouldn’t look up,’ says Kirsten. Soon, her boss was swamping her with three times the workload o her colleagues, denying her requests to attend con- erences and belittling her in ront o her superiors. Thandiswe, 30, is a receptionist in a oreign-owned company based in Cape Town. In her irst year o working there, she reported to the PA or the CEO. ‘She speaks or the chairperson, who is male – she is the only one who communicates directly with him,’ says Thandiswe, who describes the company as ‘extremely hierarchical and ear- driven’. ‘She’d phone to give me instructions, then slam the phone down while I was trying to clariy what was required,’ she says. ‘She speaks in a oreign language to our superiors so I don’t know what’s going on, and she oten makes rac- ist comments in English in ront o me. When I try to address her directly she either ignores me or verbally abuses me.’ For Cherise, 50, work lie at a large Johannesburg corporation has become a living hell ater two years o bullying by her direct boss, who is much younger than her. ‘It star- ted with snide comments about what I was eating or wearing,’ she says. Then things bec ame more overt. ‘She began interrupting me in meetings, belittling me or “put- ting me in my place” in ront o clients. She claimed the glory or projects I had done, oten calling me in to discuss retrenchment. She did everything she could to make me eel worthless and insecure – even though I know I’m competent and hard-working.’ Thanks to the recession, bullying in South Arica is on the rise. Re- search rom the Workplace Dignity Institute (WDI) in Johannesburg suggests we are on a par with the US when it comes to a sharp rise in oce bullying. ‘The victims and witnesses o workplace bullying and aggression in South Arica are currently spending 4,5 hours each week dealing with it,’ says Dr Susan Steinmann o the WDI. This means Due to heightened job insecurity, victimisation in the ofce is on the rise. And it’s other women at work we need to watch out for. By Karen Jayes Women bullying workplace February/March 2010 Psychologies 41 that bullying costs us about R70 billion a year. Shockingly, women make up nearly 40 percent o oce bullies, and they choose other women as targets 71 percent o the time. It’s a statistic that begs the question: how are women supposed to get ahead in the corporate world when we are oten our own worst ene- mies? ‘When you are up against a emale bully,’ says Johannesburg career psychologist Dr Cecile Ger- icke, author o Dance on Your Glass Ceiling (Aardvark), ‘it’s not a glass ceiling you are up against – it’s a concrete wall.’ Hw h t Gossip, oensive remarks, sarcasm, constant belittlement, criticism and verbal abuse – whether to others or directly to the victim – are some o the tactics industrial psychologist Charlotte Pieterson identied among emale bullies. In her study, ‘Inter- personal Bullying in the Workplace’, published in the 2007 South Afri- can Journal of Industrial Psychology, Pieterson describes bullying as behaviour ‘directed systematically at one or more colleagues or sub- ordinates, leading to victimisation o the target’. ‘Bullying can occur at all levels,’ says Pieterson, who is based at the University o Limpopo. ‘It can be a supervisor against a subordinate, or a subordinate against a super- visor. Women might also bully ellow co-workers.’ ‘Women are more covert and under-handed in their bullying,’ says Steinmann, ‘which makes it more dangerous because you can’t see it coming.’ Female bullying, according to the US-based Work- place Bullying Institute, is oten described as relational, meaning that women will use their emotion- al intelligence as their primary bullying tool, and may even use riendship or allegiances to belittle or isolate their target. Female bullies plan their attacks careully, says Elsabé Manning, a Johannesburg executive coach and manager o Success Factory. ‘A bully will gain power by isolat- ing her victim, playing one person against another, and creating a divide-and-conquer situation. She will also gossip and threaten, and might wait or the boss to be around to “out” her victim by initiating a discussion about a faw.’ ‘Women are more subtle,’ says Pieterson. ‘It’ s the way we are social- ised. But a emale bully is the worst kind. I you are a subordinate under a emale bully, you are in hell.’ Wh h t Female bullies, says Manning, care nothing or ‘sisterhood’. ‘Their ear o ailure or desire to dominate is stronger than their concern or ano- ther’s pain,’ she says. ‘I you are climbing the corporate ladder and you have to step on others, you do  – that’s the system we work in, and it works to the bully’s advantage.’ Such aggressive organisational cul- tures excuse bullying, and even condone it, says Steinmann. Just look at TV programmes such as Big Brother and The Apprentice,    i    l    l    u    s    t    r    a    t    i    o    n   :    c    r    i    s    t    a    l    s    m    i    t    h Wn tgt th t tt. WORKPLACE_bullies.indd 48-49 2/24/10 3:19:54 PM

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Page 1: Female bullying in the workplace

8/3/2019 Female bullying in the workplace

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/female-bullying-in-the-workplace 1/2

40 Psychologies February/March 2010

 As the victim o three

years o ‘systema-

tic isolation, gossip

and demoralisa-

tion’ by her head o 

department, Kir-

sten, 39, a teacher

in Johannesburg,eels at a loss. It started with ne-

gative comments about her work 

 – ‘she has never said anything posi-

tive’ – then her boss ignored her

openly, and in meetings. ‘When I

stood in her oice and I was the

only one there, she wouldn’t look 

up,’ says Kirsten. Soon, her bosswas swamping her with three times

the workload o her colleagues,

denying her requests to attend con-erences and belittling her in ront

o her superiors.

Thandiswe, 30, is a receptionist in

a oreign-owned company based in

Cape Town. In her irst year o 

working there, she reported to the

PA or the CEO. ‘She speaks or

the chairperson, who is male – she

is the only one who communicates

directly with him,’ says Thandiswe,

who describes the company as

‘extremely hierarchical and ear-

driven’. ‘She’d phone to give meinstructions, then slam the phone

down while I was trying to clariy

what was required,’ she says. ‘She

speaks in a oreign language to our

superiors so I don’t know what’s

going on, and she oten makes rac-

ist comments in English in ront

o me. When I try to address herdirectly she either ignores me or

verbally abuses me.’

For Cherise, 50, work lie at alarge Johannesburg corporation has

become a living hell ater two years

o bullying by her direct boss, who

is much younger than her. ‘It star-

ted with snide comments about

what I was eating or wearing,’ she

says. Then things bec ame more

overt. ‘She began interrupting me

in meetings, belittling me or “put-

ting me in my place” in ront o 

clients. She claimed the glory or

projects I had done, oten calling

me in to discuss retrenchment. Shedid everything she could to make

me eel worthless and insecure – 

even though I know I’m competent

and hard-working.’

Thanks to the recession, bullying

in South Arica is on the rise. Re-

search rom the Workplace Dignity

Institute (WDI) in Johannesburgsuggests we are on a par with the

US when it comes to a sharp rise

in oce bullying. ‘The victims andwitnesses o workplace bullying

and aggression in South Arica are

currently spending 4,5 hours each

week dealing with it,’ says Dr Susan

Steinmann o the WDI. This means

Due to heightened job insecurity, victimisation in theofce is on the rise. And it’s other women at workwe need to watch out for. By Karen Jayes

Women bullying

workplace

February/March 2010 Psychologies 41

that bullying costs us about R70

billion a year.

Shockingly, women make up

nearly 40 percent o oce bullies,

and they choose other women as

targets 71 percent o the time. It’s

a statistic that begs the question:

how are women supposed to getahead in the corporate world when

we are oten our own worst ene-

mies? ‘When you are up against a

emale bully,’ says Johannesburg

career psychologist Dr Cecile Ger-

icke, author o Dance on Your Glass

Ceiling (Aardvark), ‘it’s not a glass

ceiling you are up against – it’s aconcrete wall.’

Hw h tGossip, oensive remarks, sarcasm,

constant belittlement, criticism and

verbal abuse – whether to others or

directly to the victim – are some o 

the tactics industrial psychologist

Charlotte Pieterson identied among

emale bullies. In her study, ‘Inter-

personal Bullying in the Workplace’,

published in the 2007 South Afri-

can Journal of Industrial Psychology,

Pieterson describes bullying as

behaviour ‘directed systematically

at one or more colleagues or sub-ordinates, leading to victimisation

o the target’.

‘Bullying can occur at all levels,’

says Pieterson, who is based at the

University o Limpopo. ‘It can be

a supervisor against a subordinate,

or a subordinate against a super-

visor. Women might also bullyellow co-workers.’

‘Women are more covert and

under-handed in their bullying,’says Steinmann, ‘which makes it

more dangerous because you can’t

see it coming.’ Female bullying,

according to the US-based Work-

place Bullying Institute, is oten

described as relational, meaningthat women will use their emotion-

al intelligence as their primary

bullying tool, and may even use

riendship or allegiances to belittle

or isolate their target.

Female bullies plan their attacks

careully, says Elsabé Manning,

a Johannesburg executive coach

and manager o Success Factory.

‘A bully will gain power by isolat-

ing her victim, playing one person

against another, and creating adivide-and-conquer situation. She

will also gossip and threaten, and

might wait or the boss to be around

to “out” her victim by initiating a

discussion about a faw.’

‘Women are more subtle,’ says

Pieterson. ‘It’s the way we are social-

ised. But a emale bully is the worst

kind. I you are a subordinate under

a emale bully, you are in hell.’

Wh h tFemale bullies, says Manning, care

nothing or ‘sisterhood’. ‘Their ear

o ailure or desire to dominate is

stronger than their concern or ano-

ther’s pain,’ she says. ‘I you are

climbing the corporate ladder andyou have to step on others, you do

 – that’s the system we work in, and

it works to the bully’s advantage.’Such aggressive organisational cul-

tures excuse bullying, and even

condone it, says Steinmann. Just

look at TV programmes such as

Big Brother and The Apprentice,   i   l   l   u   s   t   r   a   t   i   o   n  :   c   r   i   s   t   a   l   s   m   i   t   h

Wn tgt th t tt.

WORKPLACE_bullies.indd 48-49 2/24/

Page 2: Female bullying in the workplace

8/3/2019 Female bullying in the workplace

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/female-bullying-in-the-workplace 2/2

42 Psychologies February/March 2010 February/March 2010 Psychologies 43

which are built around bullying,

as well as the soap opera stereotypeo the sexy, bitchy corporate ladder-

climber. These shows encourage

emale bullies. When she abuses,

she appears as i she is playing the

game. She chooses other women as

victims due to what Steinmann

describes as ‘the risk assessment’:

other women are less likely to stand

up to abuse.

Psychologists say that another

reason or emale bullying is hyper-

emotionality: we’re more likely tooverreact or take the usual oce

snags and jabs personally. ‘Chro-

nic rage can motivate bullies,’ says

Manning. ‘The slightest thing pro-

vokes them.’ Women also conuse

assertiveness with aggressiveness,

says Pieterson. ‘And emale bullies

also have a drive to prove them-

selves and hang on to their power

 – no matter what.’This drive is oten grounded in

a perception that there are not

enough opportunities or women

going around. The 2009 Business-

women’s Association (BWA) South

Arican Women in Leadership Cen-

sus indicates that women ll only

3,5 percent o CEO or MD posi-tions in JSE-listed companies, are

underrepresented as chairs o 

boards (we hold 5,8 percent o posi-tions) and ll a meagre 18,6 percent

o executive manager positions. In

South Arica, it is still a ight or

women to get to the top – and this

encourages us to bully each other.

And despite our modern eminist

ideal to ‘have it all’, there comes apoint where a woman has to make

a choice, especially at the higher

levels, says BWA board member

Kunyalala Maphisa, due to the

pressures o ‘juggling work and

amily’. Choosing their career, or

some women, can come with eel-

ings o envy or those whom they

perceive as handling the work-lie

balance better than them. And this

envy is meted out in the oce.

‘But,’ says Steinmann, ‘personali-ties and emotions aside, most o 

our bullying is opportunistic. I 

I look at emale bullies, they are

allowed to do it. There is a lack o 

policy to deal with them – and su-

pervisors don’t scrutinise them.

This means that they eel entitled.’

‘A emale bully is somebody who

cannot handle the responsibility

that comes with power,’ says Man-ning. ‘Behind their conidence is

deep insecurity.’

This insecurity can also be rus-

trated by poorly implemented

armative action policies, which

see women bullying in order to

hang onto positions or which they

are underqualied – or meting outabuse on other women because

they are racially or ethnically preju-

diced against them. Minorities areespecially vulnerable to bullies. ‘I 

we don’t learn to handle armative

action, racial and cultural diversity

better,’ says Pieterson, ‘bullying will

get worse.’

Th cnqnc

Bullies are costly employees. Notonly do they traumatise victims,

but they undermine individual and

company productivity. ‘I’m a ma-

nager and I am supposed to be

authoritative,’ says Cherise, ‘but my

clients choose to rather deal withmy boss instead o me. They see

I’m always overruled, even though

I’m more competent at specic ac-

tions than she is, and our company

is structured so that it’s my job to

do these things.’

The eects on the victim can be

devastating. They range rom loss

o sleep, decreased appetite and

physical maniestations o stress

(Thandiswe reported prouse bleed-

ing during menstruation, whileKirsten broke a tooth rom grind-

ing her teeth due to anxiety) to

depression. ‘In 55 percent o cases,’

says Steinmann, ‘we observe severe

symptoms o depression, and even

post-traumatic stress.’

Victims, especially women, spend

most o their time worrying about

where they’re going wrong, instead

o pinpointing the perpetrator.‘There is a complete lack o per-

spective,’ says Pieterson. ‘Because

bullying occurs over a sustained

period o time, and is systematic,

the victim doesn’t realise what is

going on, and she becomes so

depressed and trapped that she

doesn’t know how to get out.’

Th w wHow you are able to deal with abully depends very much on the

culture o your organisation, says

Pieterson. ‘Most people don’t con-

ront a bully, because the culture o 

the company orbids it. In most

cases, victims simply leave. Noth-

ing is resolved, and they carry thescars o this experience into other

jobs, or even their personal lives.’

But there are ways to disarm a

bully (see box, right). ‘Unless you

ind the courage to stand up or

yoursel,’ says Manning, ‘you areenabling the bully.’ Being meek and

trying your best to please someone

who is victimising you will only en-

courage urther bullying. ‘I you

want to stop the behaviour, you

must stop the pay-o,’ she says.

Thandiswe launched a complaint

with her HR manager via email.

When she received no response, she

phoned the Commission or Con-

ciliation, Mediation and Arbitration

(CCMA). ‘I work in an open-planoce,’ she says, ‘so everyone heard

me make the call. I requested a griev-

ance orm, and when I put down the

phone I asked my HR manager to

help me ll out the orm. She called

me into her oice and asked me

what was wrong. When I mentioned

the unanswered email, she pretend-

ed that she had not seen it – even

though I could tell rom her com-puter that it had been read. I don’t

think they thought I had the guts

to call the CCMA. Now, the PA is

quieter around me, though there

is still tension. At least she knows

I won’t tolerate abuse.’

the effects on the victim can range

from loss of sleep to decreased

appetite, severe depression and evenpost-traumatic stress

workplace

TO READWhen You Work for a Bully: Assessing Your Options and Taking Action by s f (c)Girl Wars: 12 Strategies ThatWill End Female Bullying by cy d (f)

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