L E E E L L I O T T

L E E . B . E L L I O T T @ G M A I L . C O M

FEARLESSNESS

What is fear?

An unpleasant and often strong emotion caused by awareness of danger

Snakes and spiders, oh my!

Is fear of such creatures innate? Do we come into the world with these fears?

What is innate? —intense focus

Fear of puppies? Fear of daffodils?

No such focus.

How does something come to frighten us?

Conditioning

The Little Albert Story

Modeling (vicarious learning)—watching another

Perspective taking—seeing situation from another person’s point-of-view

Where does fear occur in the brain?

Amygdala

Story of SM, the woman who can’t feel fear

(Urbach-Wiethe disease)

Note—lack of fear led to many problems for her

Inhaled 35% carbon dioxide—significant fear

Hypothalmus—switched off parts—mice lost all apparent sense of fear

Who is fearless?

Psychopaths

Primary psychopaths—inherently have traits of a psychopath—do feel fear

Secondary psychopaths—due to repeated major stress and trauma—

have less activity in fear centers of brain when facing what most regard as frightening circumstances

Emergency responders (e.g., EMTs, firefighters, police)—learn to switch off fear

U.S. Presidents (top rated—Teddy Roosevelt, JFK)

Heroes

Are there biological bases of fearlessness?

Neuropeptide Y

Claims it predicts fearlessness--could find no supporting evidence

Lack of stathmin gene and stathmin protein

Definitely reduces fear (well, in mice and probably in people)

Story of my student from Britain—no stress, no fear

Can memory consolidation be interrupted?

Many studies look at ways to disrupt memories before they “stick”—become long-term and potentially became basis for fear in the future

No consistent evidence that this can occur

Story of the car wreck

Can we train our brain to reduce fear?

Neurofeedback

Trained to lower the volume of a sound

Sound tied to activity of amygdala

Became better able to control amygdala

What else can we do to reduce fear?

Story of Hector Cafferata

Korea, November,1950

For 7 hours, he held off an entire regiment of

Chinese soldiers—defending his group

of badly wounded fellow soldiers

Batted hand grenades back with a shovel

Had to cool M1 (8-shot) rifle with snow

Very cold-below—he was in his socks

Explain Hector—why no obvious fear?

1. Train until habits require no decisions—just react

Story of Nursing Managers at SFMC

2. Feel in control

Study—bomb disposal experts—once in the danger zone, go

into a state of cold, meditative focus: heart rates went down

3. Humor

Story—During his five years as a POW in North Vietnam, Colonel Gerald Venanzi had an imaginery chimpanzee friend named Barney Google

He wasn’t mentally ill—he was using humor as a buffer

What is the difference between fear and anxiety?

Story of rattlesnake at Agate National Fossil Beds

Fear—perceived present danger

Anxiety—fear of a potential future danger

Fear is credible, makes sense—it alerts us to potential danger

Anxiety can help—or, it can diminish your life—dramatically

Prevalence of destructive anxiety

Fall 2018 National College Health Assessment

63% of college students in the US felt overwhelming anxiety in the past year

23% reported being diagnosed or treated by a mental health professional for anxiety in the past year

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting around 40 million adults — almost 1 in 5 people

People 26-49 are 44% more likely to experience anxiety than younger or older

The World Health Organization

Anxiety and depression have increased by over 50 percent between 1990 and 2013

615 million people were affected, up from 416 million

Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 37% of those suffering receive treatment.

People with an anxiety disorder are three to five times more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who do not suffer from anxiety disorders.

Impact on economy

Anxiety and depression cost the global economy $1 trillion every single year

Anxiety treatment can provide an increase of about 5 percent to labor productivity

Investment in treatment is much lower than needed

Where does anxiety come from?

Conscious thoughts

Automatic thoughts

Story: Moved to a new house in same town

The source of distressing emotions—errors in automatic thoughts

Automatic thoughts

Habits of thought that we experience without any conscious effort

Key part of our self-dialogue, our thinking

Seldom noticed

Powerful enough to create our most intense emotions

Characteristics of automatic thoughts

1. Often appear in shorthand

2. Almost always believed (rumors of the mind)

3. Are experienced as spontaneous

4. Often couched in terms of should, ought, or must

5. Unique to each of us

6. Persistent and self-perpetuating

7. Often differ from our public sentiments

8. Repeat habitual themes

9. Tend to “awfulize”

10. Are learned

What can be learned can be unlearned and changed

Why should we care?

Our success at work and in relationships, our mental health, and even to a large extent our physical health is nothing more than a composite of our emotions and behaviors.

Emotions and behavior—determined by how we think

The patterns of our thinking determine our resilience.

The tools of resilience are built on the simple realization that our emotions and behavior are triggered not by events themselves but by how we interpret these events.

--Reivich and Shatte

Resilient people are able to regulate their emotions and control their reaction so that they respond appropriately to almost any given situation.

Nonresilient people are more likely to respond inappropriately.

Resilience is the basic strength that underlies all the positive characteristics of a person’s psychological makeup.

Without resilience, there is only negative functioning: No rationality No courage No insight

How do we reduce the destruction of anxiety? How can we get it to work for us?

1. Learning our ABCs—change our thinking

A—adversity

B—beliefs (thoughts)

C—emotions and behaviors

Relationship of beliefs to emotions and behaviors

We have fairly consistent patterns in our “B-C” connections

Belief(B) Emotion/behavior(C)

Violation of our rights Anger

Been treated unfairly

Blocked in pursuit of a goal

Usually, see another person as responsible and the situation was in his/her control—that is,

they “meant to do it”—it was intentional

Belief(B) Emotion/behavior(C)

Real-world loss, like loss Sadness

of a job, relationship,

or loved one.

Loss of self-worth

Violation of another’s rights Guilt, shame

Guilt—OK

Shame—a problem

Belief(B) Emotion/behavior(C)

Loss of standing in front of Embarrassment

others whose opinion matters

Future threat Anxiety

These are always true!

How we use our B-C connections

B-C connections help us make sense of our world and to respond appropriately

Resilient people feel all emotions—at the right time and to the appropriate degree

Nonresilient people tend to get stuck in one emotion (e.g., anxiety)

Apply to every ambiguous situation

Seriously reduces ability to respond to adversity

Our pattern of thinking--our beliefs--lead us to be more or less effective in what we do and to be more or less happy.

The knowledge of B-C connections is the basis of self-awareness.

We can use our knowledge of B –C connections to: Untangle the mixture of emotions we experience at times

Identify the beliefs that are causing us to make errors

Gain understanding of why we reacted the way we did

Recognize we are stuck in a particular emotion

By changing our beliefs, we can learn to keep our bearings in even the most stressful situation.

Use the ABC skill whenever we are confused by our reaction to an adversity or whenever our reactions are counterproductive.

Use the ABC skill when we want to learn how our mind really works.

To do an ABC analysis (note the order)

A—For one week, write down what happened and what distressing emotions you experienced

C--Identify emotions--note patterns Was emotion mild, moderate, or intense?

B--Identify the beliefs/thoughts Look at your self-dialogue—what were you thinking during situation?

We are getting an understanding of ourselves—we are truly becoming aware of what drives our emotions and behavior

Avoid thinking errors

Why we make mistakes in thinking:

Lack all the information we need about the world

Have to piece together general rules about how the world works

When something goes wrong, its my fault (or not my fault).

When something like this happens, what is coming next is terrifying (or wonderful).

Sometimes when we apply the rules, they lead us to wrong conclusions

Mistakes in thinking reduce our resilience Act based on wrong conclusions

Examples of mistakes in thinking

Filtering

Polarized thinking

Overgeneralization

Mind reading

Catastrophizing

Magnifying

Personalization

Jumping to conclusions

Shoulds/unenforceable rules

Consequences of thinking errors

Worry

Panic

Perfectionism

Obsessional thinking

Depression

Anger

Mild avoidance

Bad habits

Procrastination

Anxiety

Fixing thinking errors

Filtering—focus on the big picture

Polarized thinking—think in terms of percentages

Overgeneralize—look for narrower explanation

Mind reading—ask questions of others

Catastrophizing—separate feelings from facts

Magnifying—strive for balance

Personalizing—look outward

Jumping to conclusions—slow down

Shoulds/unenforceable rules—question any personal rule

Thoughts and Feelings, McKay, Davis, and Fanning

Challenging beliefs

Once all the beliefs that play a role in how we feel and behave after an adversity are discovered, the next step is to evaluate how accurate—and realistic—the beliefs are.

When we experience distress, we benefit from changing to more accurate beliefs.

Putting it in perspective (another way to change thinking)

Part 11. Write down a negative emotion “spiral”

I made a mistake. This is just awful. My boss will be so mad. I’m going to get fired. My family will be devastated. My family will be ashamed of me (it’s all my fault). We will have to live on the streets. I’m a failure. I just can’t live with this. Life just isn’t worth living.

Example of worst-case thinking

2. Estimate the probabilities of each of your fearsHow accurate/realistic are your fears?

Part 23. Generate best-case alternatives

I made a mistake. I can fix it amazingly well. My boss will be so impressed. I’ll get a promotion. I’ll get a huge raise. My family will be so proud of me. We’ll move into a big house. I have such an incredible life.

4. Identify the most likely alternative I made a mistake. I’ll fix it quickly and effectively. My boss will like it. I can tell my family so they can learn from my mistake. I can deal with things when I make a mistake.

5. Problem solve the most likely I made a mistake. Fix it. Let those who need to know about it know about it. Move on—don’t give it another (negative) thought (don’t overthink it). Do savor the success.

Reduces worry

Calming and focusing (another way to change our thinking)

Dealing with an intrusive thought

Story of “It’s a Small World” at Disney

Meditate

Other tools to change thinking

Become a “merit finder”

The fault finder will find faults even in Paradise.

--Henry David Thoreau

Value mistakes—get quite good at “learning by failure”

Mistakes are an alternative way to move forward

2. Stop worrying (obsessive thinking)

Worry is the central component of anxiety and depression

38% worry every day

The rules of worry

If something bad could happen—if you can simply imagine it happening—than it’s your responsibility to worry about it

Don’t accept any uncertainty—you must know for sure (most significant element of worry)

Treat all negative thoughts as though they really are true

Anything bad that could happen is a reflection on you as a person

Failure is unacceptable

Get rid of any negative feelings immediately

Treat everything like an emergency

Now that you’re worried, you’ve got to stop worrying completely or you’ll go crazy and die

How do we effectively deal with worry?

Identify productive and unproductive worry

Unproductive—dwelling on imaginary what-ifs

Productive—identify problems and develop solutions

Once you have done that, stop!

Give up the belief that worrying helps you

Accept reality and commit to change

Acceptance doesn’t mean you like it—but don’t worry as a way to protest reality

There are real problems—and you have real limitations

Watch out for the “shoulds”

Challenge your worries Make predictions about the future (“I’m going to fail.”)

Read people’s minds (“He thinks I’m a loser.”)

Thinking negatively (“It would be awful if I don’t get what I want.”)

Focus on the deeper threat Your “core” belief is the source of your worry (e.g., concerns about

imperfection, being abandoned, feeling helpless, looking like a fool, or acting irresponsibly)

Turn “failure” into opportunity Learn how to handle failure

Use your emotions—don’t worry about them Worry is an attempt to avoid unpleasant emotions

Fear of our feelings compels us to worry more

We are afraid of our feelings due to belief we should be rational, in control, never upset, always clear in how we feel, and always on top of things.

Experience your emotions and use them to your advantage

Take control of time We have a constant sense of urgency

Need to know everything right now

Turn off urgency and improve on the present

Story of Anderson Cooper from 60 Minutes—mindfulness

Feel the fear/anxiety—and do it anyway (Jeffers)

At the bottom of every one of our anxieties is the fear that we can’t handle whatever life may bring us Also the source of all stress (Lazarus)—ultimately, anxiety is a stress reaction

Some refer to anxiety as anticipated stress

One way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to do it Systematic de-sensitization (Wolpe)

Pushing through fear/anxiety is less frightening than living with the underlying anxiety that comes from a feeling of helplessness

Story of Martin Seligman and learned helplessness

Not only are we going to experience anxiety whenever we’re in unfamiliar territory, but SO IS EVERYONE ELSE!

If everyone feels anxiety when approaching something new in life, yet so many are out there “doing it” despite the anxiety, then ANXIETY IS NOT THE PROBLEM.

The problem is how we think about our situation.

I CAN’T HANDLE IT!

Handling anxiety

Don’t blame others—the source of anxiety is you—it is a result of how you think (and that is such good news)

Don’t be a victim, assume responsibility for your anxiety

Typically, worry is an error—only 10% of those things we worry about actually happen

In part, comes from poor affective forecasting (e.g., fail to anticipate how quickly we will cope with difficult events and how quickly we will recover from them)

You have a multitude of choices

Determine what you want in life and act on it—stop waiting for someone to give it to you

Choose the path that contributes to your growth

Avoid the Eeyores (Winnie the Pooh)

Christopher Robin said, “Good Morning.”

Eeyore answered, “If it is a good morning, which I doubt.”

“Sure is a cheerful color. Guess I’ll have to get used to it.”

“I’d look at the bright side, if I could find it.”

Security does not come from having things; it comes from handling things

Patience means knowing it will happen…and giving it time to happen.

Face your anxiety

Martin Luther King’s dangers

https://www.beaconbroadside.com/broadside/2016/01/martin-luther-king-jr-and-rosa-parks-on-the-dangers-they-faced-in-the-civil-rights-movement.html

1968

The words I spoke to God that midnight are still vivid in my memory, “I am here taking a stand for what I believe is right. But now I am afraid. The people are looking to me for leadership, and if I stand before them without strength and courage, they too will falter….”

March 28, 1968 (his last sermon)

I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn’t matter with me now. Because I’ve been to the mountaintop. And I don’t mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But, I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people will get to the promised land. And I’m happy, tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man.

April 4, 1968—his life ended

How anxiety messes up the world of work(Ryan & Oestreich)

Anxiety is the opposite of trust--anxiety and distrust always go together (Gibb)

Low trust and anxiety lead to passive and conforming people

Builds forces and structures that sustain anxiety

Anxiety at work—feeling threatened by possible repercussions as a result of speaking up about work-related concerns

What people are not talking about at work

Management practices 49% Co-worker performance 10% Compensation and benefits 10% EEO practices 6% Change 6% Personnel systems (other than pay) 4% Individual feelings 2% Bad news 2% Conflicts 2% Personal problems 2% Suggestions for improvement 2%

Majors fears of employees

Loss of credibility or reputation 27%

Lack of career or financial advancement 16%

Possible damage to relationship with boss 13%

Loss of employment 11%

Interpersonal rejection 9%

Change in job role 6%

Embarrassment/loss of self-esteem 5%

Job transfer or demotion 4%

Other 9%

Why don’t people speak up at work

Fear of repercussions 44%

Nothing will change 17%

Avoidance of conflict 7%

Don’t want to cause trouble for others 5%

Other 27%

Creating a work place without anxiety—a place of psychological safety

Acknowledge the presence of anxiety

Pay attention to interpersonal conduct

Value criticism: Reward the messenger

Reduce ambiguous behavior

Discuss the undiscussables

Collaborate on decisions

Challenge worst-case thinking

Our goal

To function in life so that we can enjoy all we have been given and

not spend our time re-playing old hurts and being anxious about the

future

We can achieve this goal—and it does require effort.

Lee Elliott

lee.b.elliott@gmail.com

References

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