My Furry FriendFarewell…

kristi freeman, d.v.m., inc.

2 Farewell My Furry Friend

Farewell… My Furry Friend© 2012, 2014 Kristi Freeman., DVM., Inc.

Book Design by Vinnie Freeman Graphic Design Cover Photo by Vinnie Freeman

Table of Contents

The Rainbow Bridge . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3The Journey By Crystal Ward Kent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4Going Through The Healing Process . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6San Diego Pet Loss Support Groups . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7Reading List . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7Dealing With Grief and Loss By Vinnie Freeman . . . . . . . . . . 8A Pet’s Prayer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9Links To Important Pet Loss Support Resources . . . 10

Farewell My Furry Friend 3

Just this side of Heaven is a place called the Rainbow Bridge

hen a beloved pet dies, it goes to the Rainbow Bridge. It makes friends with other animals and frolics over rolling hills and

peaceful lush meadows of green. They are as healthful and playful as we remember them from days gone by.

Together, the animals chase and play, but the day comes when a pet will suddenly stop and look into the distance… bright eyes are intent, eager body quivering. Suddenly, recognizing you, your pet bounds quickly across the green fields and into your embrace. You celebrate in joyous reunion. You will never again separate.

Happy tears and kisses are warm and plentiful, your hands caress the face you missed. You look into the loving eyes of your pet and know that you never really parted. You realize that though out of sight, your love has been remembered.

You cross Rainbow Bridge together…

W

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By Crystal Ward Kent

When you bring a pet into your life, you begin a journey - a journey that will bring you more love and devotion than

you have ever known . It will also test your strength and courage .

This journey will teach you many things - about life, about yourself and most of all, about love . You will come away changed forever - for one soul cannot touch another without leaving its mark .

Along the way, you will learn much about savoring life’s simple pleasures - jumping in a pile of leaves, snoozing in the sun, the joys of puddles or the satisfaction of a good scratch behind the ears .

If you spend much time outside, you will be taught how to truly experience every element . No rock, leaf, or log will go unexamined . No rustling bush will be overlooked - even the very air will be inhaled, pondered and noted as being full of valuable information .

Your pace may be slower, except when heading home to the food dish, but you will become a better naturalist, having been taught by an expert in the field .

Too many times we hike on automatic pilot, our goal being to complete the trail rather than enjoy the journey . We miss the details - the colorful mushrooms on the rotting log, the honeycomb in the old maple snag or the hawk feather caught on a twig .

Once we walk as a dog does, we discover a whole new world . We stop, browse the landscape, kick over leaves, peek in tree holes, look up, down and all around . We learn what any dog knows: that nature has created a marvelously complex world that is full of surprises and each cycle of the seasons bring ever changing wonders .

Each day has an essence all its own .

Indoors, you will find yourself more attuned to the world around you . You will find yourself watching summer insects collecting on

the screen (How bizarre they are! How many kinds there are!) or note the flash of fire flies in the dark . You will stop to observe the swirling dance of windblown leaves or sniff the air after a rain . It does not matter that there is no objective in this - the point is in the doing and not letting life’s most important details slip by .

You will find yourself doing silly things that your pet-less friends might not understand, such as spend 30 minutes in the supermarket looking for that one cat food brand your feline must have . You drive around the block an extra time because your pet enjoys the ride . You roll in the snow, wrestle with chewy toys and bounce little rubber balls till your eyes cross . You even run around the house trailing your bathrobe tie with your cat in hot pursuit - all in the name of love .

Your house will become muddier and hairier . You won’t wear as much dark clothing and you will buy more lint rollers . You may find dog biscuits in your purse or feel the need to explain that an

The Journey

You must find the strength and love to let them go. A pet’s time on earth is far too short, especially for those that love them. We borrow them just for awhile.

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old cereal box adorns your living room rug because your cat loves to lie on it .

You will learn the true measure of love - a steadfast, undying love that says, “It doesn’t matter where we are or how life treats us as long as we are together .” Respect this always . It is the most precious gift any living soul can give another . You will not find it often among the human race .

And you will learn humility . The look in my dog’s eyes often made me feel ashamed . Such joy and love at my presence . She saw not some flawed human who could be cross, stubborn, moody or rude, but only a wonderful companion . Or maybe she saw those things and dismissed them as mere human foibles - not worth considering - and chose to love me anyway .

Pay attention and learn well, for when the journey is done, you will be not just a better person . You will be the person your pet always knew you to be - the one they were proud to call beloved friend .

I must caution you that this journey is not without pain . On all paths of true love, pain is part of loving . For as sure as the sun sets, one day your dear animal companion will go down a trail that you cannot go down .

You must find the strength and love to let them go . A pet’s time on earth is far too short, especially for those that love them . We borrow them just for awhile . During these brief years, they are generous enough to give us all their love, spirit and heart until one day there is nothing left .

The cat that only yesterday was a kitten is all too soon old and frail and sleeping in the sun . Or the young pup, once full of boundless energy, now wakes up stiff and lame – its muzzle now gray . Deep down, we somehow always knew that this journey would end . We knew that if we gave our hearts they would be broken .

But give them we must, for it is all they ask in return . For when the time comes and the road curves ahead to a place we cannot see, we give one final gift and let them run on ahead where they will be forever young and whole once more .

“Godspeed, my good friend,” we say .

One day our journey will come full circle and our paths will cross again .

Your pet is your friend, your partner, your defender . You are his life, his love, his leader .

He will be yours, faithful and true, to the very last beat of his heart . §

Copyright © Crystal Ward Kent, 1998. All Rights Reserved. http://journeyforanimals.com. Used by permission

Clingon Freeman 1995 – 2009

Pay attention and learn well, for when the journey is done, you will be not just a better person. You will be the person your pet always knew you to be – the one they were proud to call you beloved friend.

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• Prayerand/ormeditatewithyourspiritualorreligiouscounselor.

• TreatyourselftosmallpleasuresTakeadayofforgoonashortvacation . Go for a long walk in the park and remember the great times you and your special friend had together .

• It’sOKifyoufeel as if you are not healing . It takes time, grief can hit like waves of the ocean . Sometimes they come in quick and hard, other times slow and steady . Routine things, such as smells or sounds can bring on a wave of grief . Holidays can be an especially tricky time .

• Everyonewho’severbeenthroughthegrievingprocesscanassureyou that you WILL heal and life will return to normal . It won’t happen fast enough (it never does) but that day WILL come . §

Time does heal .

If only it would move faster .

Healing does occur in time for the person who has lost his special friend . Here are some things a bereaving pet owner can do as part of the healing process .

• Youareallowedtogrieve,acknowledgingyourlossisanimportant part of the healing process . You are the one who knows how much your special friend meant to you .

• Learnaboutthegrievingprocess.Knowthatwhat you are going through is a completely normal process

• Bepatient.Thegrievingprocessmustrunitscourse.Don’tlet anyone tell you how long or short the mourning period must be .

• Rememberthelifeyousharedtogether.

• Itisalrighttohavethefeelingsthatcomewithgrief. Keepingajournalisagreatwaytoreleasethosefeelings.

• Createascrapbook,ablogorawebsitetohonoryourspecialfriend . Make a special area with important items, such as toys, bedding and blankets .

• Donotforgetyourownneeds.Exercise,eatwellandgetlotsofrest . Even when you don’t want to .

• Relyonyoursupportteam.Friends,relatives,co-workerswhounderstand what you are going through and can offer support .

• Seekprofessionalhelpthroughgriefcounselors,petlosssupport groups or therapists .

Going Through The Healing Process

Tessie

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Saying goodbye does not mean forgetting your cherished animal friend, but celebrating a life that has touched your own. Letting go of a pet that has passed away is a healthy part of the grieving process and there are resources to help.

Graceful Departure Pet Center Pet Loss Support1177 Greenfield Dr., Suite B • El Cajon, CA 92021 Led by Dr. Carolyne Joseph PsyD • 619-334-0708This Pet Loss Support Group meets the first Thursday of the month . Please call 619-334-0708 for more information or to register for this support group .

San Diego Humane Society5500 Gaines Street • San Diego, CA 92110 619-299-7012. ext. 2311 www.sdhumane.orgTheSanDiegoHumaneSocietyandSPCA’sPetLossSupportGroup is a helpful way of coping with the loss of a pet in a relaxed, group setting . There is no charge for these sessions, however donations are gratefully accepted . Sessions run one weekday evening per month, one weekend morning per month and are open to those ages12andup.Reservationsareencouraged.Callformoreinfo. Dr. Lorri Greene, PhDLicensed Psychologist2058 Oxford Avenue, #A • Encinitas, CA 92007760-519-5215For anyone who has loved and lost a companion animal . Offering caring, compassionate understanding of your loss . For over 25 years, Dr . Lorri Greene has provided group and individual pet bereavement counseling .

San Diego Pet Loss Support Groups Reading List

Saying Good-Bye to the Pet You Love ByLorriGreene/JacquelineLandis,2002

Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet By Moira Anderson Allen, 1987

The Tenth Good Thing About Barney By Judith Viorst Atheneum, 1975

How to Survive the Loss of a Love By Harold Bloomfield, 1977

On Children and Death ByElizabethKubler-Ross,1969

On Death and Dying ByElizabethKubler-Ross,1969

Preparing for the Loss of Your Pet By Myrna Milani, D .V .M, 1988

The Loss of a Pet By Wallace Sife, Ph .D, 1998 There Is Eternal Life For Animals By Niki Behrikis Shanahan, 2002

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•Pet Loss Support Group – The San Diego Humane Society offers a pet loss support group where you can share with others about your loss . These sessions are facilitated by a licensed, clinical social worker .

• Pet Loss Phone Hotline – Talking to someone about your loss can be most helpful . University Veterinary Schools and organizations such as theASPCAofferaservicewherepetownerscancallforcomfortandsupport . An on-line search will provide sites to visit .

Yes, It’s OK to Grieve

During this trying time, it’s important to give yourself permission to grieve! Grief can occur before, during or after a loss and can cover a wide variety of emotions . These emotions range from crying, feeling hopeless, feeling numb emotionally or even seeing or hearing your beloved friend around the house .

Remember, every loss is different and there’s no timetable on grief . It can last from several weeks to several years . No two losses are alike and the first time can seem as if will never end . Don’t be discouraged, it’s all part of the healing process .

How to Deal With Your Grief

Your body becomes out of balance when you go through a traumatic situation, such as a loss . It is of utmost importance to take care of yourself . Taking extra precautions, eating right and getting plenty of rest while you are in the grieving state can make a big difference in your overall health and recovery time . Don’ try to stuff it!

By Vinnie Freeman

There comes a day in our lives when your pet becomes more than a pet - he or she becomes an extra special beloved friend, one that we become emotionally attached to . This beloved

friend takes a unique place in your heart .

When it comes time for that extra special friend to leave this world, the result can be one of the most difficult and traumatic times in your life .

Dealing with a personal loss is never easy, especially if you have not felt this kind of loss before . It is important to understand the grieving process and how it affects your personality . There are many ways to learn about grieving and how to approach it . Here are some places to start .

•The Internet – There are many great websites that address loss and grieving for pets and humans . Some sites may offer blogs or chat rooms where people can a place to communicate and provide support to each other .

•Social Media –Checkoutsitessuch as Facebook and Twitter to reach out to others .

•Library or Bookstores – Visit your local bookstore or library branch and peruse books on grief and loss in the self-help section . There are many quality books on this subject .

•Talk It Out – Get together with loved ones, friends or co-workers who understand what’s going on . They may even have gone through this and can offer comfort, wisdom and support .

Dealing With Grief and Loss

When it comes time for that extra special friend to leave this world, the result can be one of the most difficult times in your life.

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Here are some suggestions to help you physically through your grief .

•Takelifeonedayatatime.

•Takeextracareofyourselfandgetplentyofrest.

•Don’ttrytodoitonyourown-reachouttofriendsorlovedones.

•Shareyourgriefwithtrustedloved ones or friend .

•Eatabalanceddiet,evenwhenyou don’t want to .

•Journalormakeascrapbookto preserve favorite memories .

•Exercise–ithelpstorelieveanxiety and stress .

•Pray,meditateorhavesome quiet time .

•Refrainfromalcoholanddrugs,they can intensify feelings of depression .

•Seekoutapetlosssupportgroupifpossibleorcallapetlosssupport hotline

•Seekoutprofessionalhelpifyoubecomelethargic,depressed or feel you can’t go on without your beloved friend

Grief does not disappear . It is a journey that must be taken . You must face it by educating yourself about the subject and walking through it with trusted support . You will find this and the passage of time will make your feelings of pain more bearable .

By integrating your loss into your heart, in the end you will come out the better for it and you will be able to remember and cherish the great times and fond memories you had with your special friend . §Vinnie Freeman is a Graphic Designer and Writer

Bella

If that I grow frail and weak And pain should keep me from my sleep. Then you must do what must be doneFor the last battle can’t be won.

You will be sad I understandDon’t let your grief stay your hand.For this day more than the restYour love and friendship stand the test.

We’ve had so many happy yearsWhat is to come can hold no fears.You’d not want me to suffer soWhen the time comes, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they’ll tend And stay with me to the end.Hold me firm and speak to meUntil my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will seeIt is a kindness you do to me.Although my tail its last has wavedFrom pain and suffering I’ve been saved.

Don’t grieve it should be youWho decides this thing you do.We’ve been so close all these years Don’t let your heart hold any tears.

A Pet’s Prayer

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Links To Important Support ResourcesThe following are some websites and hot lines that can be helpful during times of pet loss.

Dr. Freeman’s websites http://kristi-freeman.com http://gracefuldeparture.com

San Diego Humane Society The pet loss support group offered by the San Diego Humane Society. www.sdhumane.org/site/PageServer?pagename=prg_PetLoss

The Ohio State University College of Veterinary Medicine http://vet.osu.edu/vmc/pet-loss-support-hotlines-and-helplines http://vet.osu.edu/vmc/online-resources

Pet Angel Memorial Center Pet Angel Memorial Center offers grief support and cremation services http://petangelmemorialcenter.com

The Association of Pet Loss & Bereavement http://www.aplb.org

Pet Loss.net http://pet-loss.net

American Humane Association http://www.americanhumane.org/interaction/programs/humane-education/pet-loss/

Campus Crusade The Four Spiritual Laws can be found at this website. www.campuscrusade.com

The Rock Church, San Diego The website for the Rock Church in San Diego. www.sdrock.com

Kirby

Goofy

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The ASPCA, (877) GRIEF-10 For support dealing with the loss of a pet. http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/pet-loss

Graceful Departure Pet Center (619) 741-5366 Graceful Departure Pet Center is San Diego County’s first green aftercare facility, offering eco-friendly cremation by Alkaline Hydrolysis. http://gracefuldeparture.com

Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine, (607) 253-3932 Pet Loss Support Hotline staffed by veterinary students Tuesday-Thursday 6:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. ET, messages will be returned. http://www.vet.cornell.edu/Org/PetLoss/

University of Florida College of Veterinary Medicine, (352) 294-4430 If someone is not available to talk with you when you call, your call will be returned within 24 hours on weekdays. Weekend calls will be returned on Monday. http://smallanimal.vethospital.ufl.edu/client-services/pet-loss-support/

University of Illinois College of Veterinary Medicine, (877) 394-2273 (CARE) Companion Animal Related Emotions Pet Loss Helpline. Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings 7 :00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. Central Time http://vetmed.illinois.edu/CARE/

Michigan State University College of Veterinary Medicine, (517) 432-2696 Staffed by Michigan State University veterinary students; Tuesday to Thursday, 6:30 p.m. – 9:30 p.m., ET. http://cvm.msu.edu/hospital/Plone/alumni-friends/information-for-animal-owners/pet-loss-support/

Tufts University Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine, (508) 839-7966 Staffed by veterinary students trained by a licensed psychologist. Monday - Friday from 6:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. http://www.tufts.edu/vet/petloss/

Virginia-Maryland Regional College of Veterinary Medicine, (540) 231-8038 Staffed by specially trained veterinary students; Tuesday, Thursday, 6:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m., ET http://www.vetmed.vt.edu/index.asp

Washington State University, College of Veterinary Medicine, (509) 335-5704 Staffed during the semester on Monday - Thursdays 7:00 - 9:00 p.m. and Saturdays 1:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. PT. http://www.vetmed.wsu.edu/PLHL/

Caring. Compassion. A graceful departure.

1177 Greenfield Dr.•Suite BEl Cajon, CA 92021

619•741•5366

San Diego’s first full-time Animal Home Euthanasia and Hospice Practice. Established 2002

kfreevet@gmail.com kristi– freeman.com

kristi freeman, d.v.m. inc.

1177 Greenfi eld Dr.•Suite BEl Cajon, CA 92021619•741•5366

Kristi Freeman,D.V.M.President

kfreevet@gmail.com gracefuldeparture.com

Graceful Departure Pet CenterSan Diego’s fi rst exclusive end-of-life clinic and eco-friendly cremation alternative