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Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides

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Page 1: Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides · Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

Fair Shake Reentry Packet

Peer Learning &

Self-Study Guides

Page 2: Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides · Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

Introduction to Fair Shake Workshop Guides

The End of Prison

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms –

to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.

– Viktor E. Frankl

In his book The End of Education Neil Postman stated that he wrote the book in hopes of

altering the definition of the “school problem” from a means to an end. “End” having at least two

important meanings: purpose and finish.

I’m writing this introduction to the Fair Shake materials in hopes of altering the meaning of

prison. I suggest that our goal should be to eliminate prisons. We must dedicate ourselves to

insist on a society that is respectful, engaged, sustainable, empowered, heathy and safe so that

we can transform our increasingly unhealthy relational culture to something we can all live with

and enjoy.

So then the question becomes: can we close prisons? What do we hope can happen in prison

that can ensure that people coming home have the tools and information to not go back?

I can offer two things: it will take society working as a community to get the most out of prison

and, more importantly, the work starts with the incarcerated individual.

Let’s explore number one for a moment. For as long as I can remember I was told that nothing

good goes in or comes out of prison; and that once you find yourself in prison, save for a few

fortunate or lucky individuals, your life is ruined. Having a felony conviction means you’re

labeled and, according to what I’ve experienced and heard throughout the years, society

doesn’t readily accept your return.

Before becoming incarcerated myself, I believed that formerly incarcerated people were

deemed outcasts by society unless they had obtained a highly sought-after vocational skill, or

knew a business owner that would hire them. I believed this mostly for the same reasons I had

believed that nothing good goes into or comes out of prison: I learned what I KNEW from those

around me. Just as the bad kid ended up in prison, the felon ended up going back into the

streets to meet yet another prison term or worse. If the felon was able to stay out, they likely

worked some job that no one else wanted.

I questioned whether the kid was really bad or had they been convinced that they were bad

through society’s opinion of them? Did the felon generally not adjust to or advance in life after

prison due to societies’ views of them; or was society right to give up on them simply because

they went to prison?

Page 3: Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides · Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

Introduction to Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

from experience and share my opinion, which brings me back to my second point, the most

important in my opinion.

For the sake of argument, let’s say that the community played a large part in my finding myself

in prison. Let’s say that I knew no better than to become exactly what they said I would

become. I’m here to tell you that neither of those factors need concern you as you prepare to

reenter society. Although they may be true, they are not relevant today. You now have to deal

with the facts of your life as you know them. It is a fact that you’re sitting in prison, regardless

of how you got there. It is also a fact that you can choose you’re your perspective as you create

your path from your past, through institutionalization, to a life of value and satisfaction.

For years I chose to live in prison exactly as society thought I would: continuing on a journey of

self-defeat and living down to others’ expectations of me. Of course, having that perspective

was counterproductive to my growth. It took lots of confusion, pain, anger and falling on my face

before I accepted what needed to change: me.

Changing me started with changing my perspective of prison. I chose not accept it as my fate,

but as a part of my journey that was within my control. That understanding empowered me to

not wait for things to play out and learn lessons the hard way, but instead to become proactive

and seek what I wanted in life; to not be afraid to pursue my dreams. Prison had a place in my

life because I had accepted it; it wouldn’t go away simply because I now wanted to reject it.

My lawyer told me “I envy the time that you’ll have to work on yourself”. I thought about that

statement the night he said it, but I didn’t understand it until many years later. Prison had been

‘Gladiator School’ to me for years, but when my perspective shifted it became school, period. It

went from being a place where I felt I had to react to situations to a place where I had a chance

to think about my response. Instead of making me a better criminal in the fast lane, it became a

place that slowed me down to help me become a better me.

Once I got to this point I no longer cared about what society thought I was; I knew what I could

become. My self-confidence was bolstered as I navigated prison from the perspective of

empowerment and purpose and took advantage of what the institutions offered. I even helped

create things and leave a legacy of value to those coming through behind me. I learned that

people, regardless of their position in life, are more inclined to help those that help themselves.

No one can define the purpose of prison in your life unless you allow them to, and it will only be

finished when we work together and choose to finish it and move on to something more

effective and beneficial. The end is all yours and only you can decide what that “End” will be.

Page 4: Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides · Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

Facilitator Guide

Facilitators’ Presentation

Each workshop is designed to be presented as a separate course. Estimate at least two hours

to present and discuss the material in a classroom environment. We have provided these

guides for each workshop to serve as an outline only; it is up to the facilitator, or the individual,

to discover what methods are most conducive to their mode of facilitating and learning. You may

use the examples provided for each section; we also encourage you to create your own.

Prior to the start of a workshop, the facilitator should thoroughly review the guide, worksheets

and any other materials to identify potential trouble spots and develop creative ways to engage

the participants. The facilitator must ensure that the appropriate number of copies are printed

and available prior to the workshop.

For Facilitators only:

We have a few recommendations specifically for people who are leading groups through

these conversations:

Guide the workshops through the materials as they were written.

Clearly define important terms in the text.

Ask open-ended questions that show that the participants grasp the information.

Emphasize the benefits and potential outcomes of the learning experiences.

The facilitator will be more effective if knowledgeable of these three modes of learning:

Visual, those who learn best through seeing

Auditory, those who learn best through hearing

Tactile/kinesthetic, those who learn best by doing/interacting

Engage participants in all of these modes, if possible. This can be accomplished via examples,

exercises and activities that support the lessons.

The facilitator may, at times, need to serve as a mediator to keep the focus on the material and

the goal of growth and development. Different perspectives are welcome, but the facilitator must

avoid tangents that may alter the direction of the workshop.

Goals and Objectives:

The goals and objectives within this guide are meant to serve as a compass. We understand

that the guide will be used by different groups, who may have different standards that they must

adhere to. With this in mind we have adjusted our documents to reflect flexibility without

compromising the overall intended outcome of continuous growth and development of the

human mind and spirit. We look to accomplish this through the following:

Commitment to self and community,

Building and/or increasing self-confidence and self-worth

Page 5: Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides · Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

Facilitator Guide

Create strategies to achieve goals

Empower individuals and groups to seek information, participate in group

conversations and seek council with authorities where desired.

Improve vocabulary and command of language in various settings

Bolster understanding of pro-social concepts in philosophy, psychology, sociology,

citizenship and swellness.

Peer Education

The value of having the Fair Shake Reentry Workshop learning experience facilitated by peers

cannot be overstated. Peers can convey information, create opportunities for discussion and

discovery and share their experiences within an atmosphere of understanding, empathy and

trust. Within this unique learning environment peer educators have an opportunity to influence

participants in ways that are not available to outside educators. The participants may be more

open to the peer educator’s influence because the educator can directly relate to their concerns

and the desired goals of the workshop.

Adult learners integrate information differently than they did as children. Adults retain less

through simple memorization; they generally require more meaning and relatability in their

learning experience. Peer facilitators can offer concrete examples and personal reflections

unavailable to traditional educators who may be perceived as having a lack of empathy for the

scope of reentry. Peer facilitation does not undermine or strive to replace formal education.

According to David Boud in What is Peer Learning and Why is it Important:

The term 'peer learning' suggests a two-way, reciprocal learning activity. Peer

learning should be mutually beneficial and involve the sharing of knowledge,

ideas and experience between the participants. It can be described as a way of

moving beyond independent to interdependent or mutual learning.

Students learn a great deal by explaining their ideas to others and by

participating in activities in which they can learn from their peers. They develop

skills in organizing and planning learning activities, working collaboratively with

others, giving and receiving feedback and evaluating their own learning.

David Boud: “What is Peer Learning and Why is it Important” (1988)

(http://web.stanford.edu/dept/CTL/Tomprof/postings/418.html)

Once the process begins, it takes on a life of its own where there are no teachers and students,

only willing learners who assist each other through the process of learning. The conversations

can then become more candid which allows for greater opportunity to address underlying

issues. Through this elevated level of trust and support, participants may discover a genuine

desire and willingness to learn even more and to exhibit competence through familiarity with the

materials and their ability to effectively apply the concepts to their own reentry strategy.

Page 6: Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides · Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

Facilitator Guide

Workshop Ground Rules

(which, of course, defer to any institutional, classroom or group rules)

1. Those participating in the Fair Shake workshops must respect learners and the learning

environment. This means learners and facilitators must:

a) respect the views of others.

b) respect everyone’s right to learn in their own style.

c) speak in a respectful tone and not talk over others.

d) Never use offensive or objectionable language

e) respect the person as well as their property.

2. Disagreements will be settled in a civilized manner i.e. talking it out, agreeing to

disagree, or with a mediator. Please share your successful ideas with us as well.

3. Everyone participates in discussions and class activities.

4. Use common sense in class. Use the appropriate behavior and ask if unclear about

anything.

5. Severe disruptions will result in participant being removed from the class and possibly

prohibited from participating in future Fair Shake workshops and other activities

Discussions

Fair Shake believes the best discussions can come from among the members of the group,

organically. This creates opportunities to learn using real concerns, real interests; and the group

can provide a variety of perspectives. We’ve provided our discussion questions primarily to act

as aids to stimulate sluggish conversations.

For Facilitators

In this role you:

‘start the discussion’ if one does not start organically.

Set a time limit and watch the clock.

must maintain order and ask for help, if necessary, to keep track of who gets to

comment, when and for how long. They keep the conversation on point.

mediate differences of opinion while keeping the focus on the learning objectives of the

group

ensure that all participants have a chance to articulate their ideas and concerns and feel

welcome to contribute to the discussion.

At the end of each discussion the facilitator will summarize the main points or the action

points from discussion before moving on to the next activity.

Page 7: Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides · Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

Facilitator Guide

Worksheets

All worksheets are designed to assist the group or individuals in understanding the concepts

being addressed. We have provided worksheets, but encourage creativity. If the Facilitator and

participant’s decide to create worksheets, we hope they will share their experiences with us.

It is the facilitator’s job to ensure that the appropriate number of copies is available for

participants prior to the workshop.

Quotes

Quotes are thought provoking and very effective for making a point or setting the stage for a

discussion. As you can see we’ve provided quotes in the examples within each workshop,

however please encourage participants to share topic-relevant quotes and . We provide the

examples as encouragement and assistance if needed. The interactivity that the group will

experience by participating in the learning process is priceless and very effective.

We also encourage the facilitator to ask open-ended questions concerning the chosen quotes.

Challenge the group to express what the quote means to them.

Self-Study

Although we primarily set the workshops up to be group activities we also encourage self-study

on an individual level. The group exercises are great; however self-study allows one to learn at

their own pace. It allows absolute flexibility of schedule and ideas rather than keeping to the set

course, which may even broaden the scope of the original idea.

Recommended Reading

In the back of the packet, Fair Shake has shared the very beginning of our recommended

reading list. These books correlate to the topics covered in the packet and could be considered

as supplemental study.

We encourage every individual to see the workshops as a starting point,

not an end.

Page 8: Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides · Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

Ownership Manual

Workshop Guide

The goals and objectives below are meant to be a guide for individuals or groups

working with the Fair Shake Reentry Packet; please adjust according to your group or

individual needs.

Goals and Objectives: To help learners preparing for successful reentry understand the power

they have to create success and regain full ownership of their lives.

There are many ways we can make our lives more meaningful and successful, and there are as

many ways and more to get distracted from our goals and follow others. Powerful forces are

constantly pulling and pushing at us, trying to persuade us to believe certain things and act

certain ways; wanting us to buy stuff and ideologies. They are everywhere; they are most

obvious in media (Ads, TV shows (including the news), movies, music videos, magazines and

newspapers), but the forces also come through friends and family members (which are hardest

to resist), business leaders, educators and politicians.

The Ownership Manual (OM) is a little guide to remind us of the seemingly small things that we

can do to strengthen our mettle to stay on our path. We do not have to hide in a cave to resist

the forces, in fact the best way to resist – and to create lasting change – is to stand firm in your

resolve to stay true to yourself, and thus provide powerful models for others, esp. our youth.

In this study guide we explore 33 concepts involved in ownership, but there are many more. We

hope you will share your ideas with us so we can add them to the list to reach and strengthen

more people as they take command of their lives and their success. These concepts are vital

components in creating better outcomes for ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities.

Possible discussion points:

The following discussion points correlate with the OM. We suggest reading the text in the

document out loud and then discussing the questions below. We also suggest breaking up in to

smaller groups to address 3 points each and then having the groups present their reflections

before the larger group to then allow a short (2 min) opportunity for clarification and discussion.

Another option is to have each learner choose 2 or 3 considerations and present their ideas to

the group with a short question and answer period to follow the presentation. As always, we

hope you will share other ways to explore the OM so we can share them with others.

Exploring the Ownership Manual could take 2 hours, or it could easily take 2 weeks.

The facilitator and group should determine how much time they want to spend on this. It could

involve projects, reports, supplemental reading and a discussion on ownership. We encourage

learners to find and explore other sources of information (including quotes, business books,

dictionaries, self-help books, etc) to deeply understand each concept.

Consider the Source: Be sure to check out who the authors of the quotes are. They shed

light on the quote, and also on themselves.

Page 9: Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides · Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

Locus of Control (Locus = locality, place, point)

It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul ~ William Earnest Henley

What is a locus of control? How does your perception of it and your relationship to it

affect your life? Is it possible to have internal and external controls at the same time?

How does the quote address the concept? Why is the image of a compass used?

Why is it important to feel we are in control of our lives?

Self-Motivation

What drives you? What makes you feel like you must take action and do something?

Name five ways (excuses) we use to talk ourselves OUT of doing things? Why are

capability quotes used here to inspire self-motivation?

How can we motivate ourselves to do things we’re not excited to do but we know we

must do to reach our ultimate goal, to improve our habits and strengthen our resolve?

How does the image relate to the concept?

Change

They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

- Andy Warhol

Describe change you instigated and how you felt from the beginning through to when

you felt the change was complete. (This can be as simple as shoveling the sidewalk.)

Describe change you did not want, how you dealt with it, and how you felt. (This can

include the loss of a loved one, bad weather that upsets an activity, laws that affect our

rights, or the need to change something within yourself)

How does the image relate to the concept? How do the quotes relate to the concept?

Satisfaction:

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. "

- Abraham Lincoln

How do you define satisfaction? What is the difference between satisfaction and

happiness?

What does it mean to take responsibility for your own satisfaction?

Why is it important to feel satisfied with your choice in employment? How can you feel

satisfied at work? What questions should you ask during the interview, or even when

you drop off an application, to find out whether you will be satisfied at work?

Fear:

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. - Mark Twain

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. - Marianne Williamson

Discuss the quotes above.

Describe how fear is healthy. Describe how fear can be unhealthy. Describe how fear

can be irrational. Describe how fear can be used as an attempt to avoid challenges or

as a tool to control others.

Page 10: Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides · Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

How do politicians, the TV news (including the weather!) and other shows, family

members, and others attempt to persuade us through the use of fear. (examples include

the fear of not being ‘good enough’ for social situations without mouthwash, fear of

amazingly bad weather, fear of people leaving us, fear of each other so that we will

exchange rights for ‘security’, fear we lack self-knowledge and must rely on experts)

What does the quote in the OM mean? What does Franklin D. Roosevelt’s quote mean:

We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” And what about the popular No Fear slogan?

Describe how our most debilitating fears can be irrational…such as fear of speaking in

public, fear of looking stupid, fear of not being good enough, fear of failing, fear of

success, fear of stigma/stereotypes, fear of authenticity, fear of ownership and fear of

freedom. (Check out Erich Fromm’s book Escape from Freedom)

Cause and Effect:

Life is a perpetual instruction in cause and effect. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

How does Cause and Effect relate to Rejection, Freedom, Satisfaction, Locus of Control,

planning and goal-setting, Education, Understanding, Desires, and other OM themes?

How can you look 3 to 5 moves down your path to see where you might get a boost, or

run into hurdles, because of something you set in motion today? (Both positive and

negative. Ex: I decide to meditate every day for 30 min. Because of this decision, I feel

more capable and confident and connected. Certain friends, however, are upset

because they see this as selfish; that I should spend time with them or do chores, or

work more hours….

How does the quote relate to the concept?

How does the image relate to your life?

Freedom:

While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions. - Stephen Covey

Define freedom in the larger group by writing single words on the board. Divide the

concepts between Freedom From: such as freedom from pain and freedom from

limitations; and Freedom To: including freedom to eat what you want to eat, freedom to

choose a vocation, to be an active an engaged parent, and to change the world.

Can we be free from responsibility for the society we live in?

Can we be free from affecting others or being affected by others?

Can we be free to take effective and impacting control of our destiny?

Can we be free enough to allow others to be free?

How does freedom make you more responsible and not less responsible?

When can your freedom impede my freedom; or my freedom affect your freedom? How

can we resolve this challenge so everyone feels free while still within the community?

Accept Yourself:

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself. - Mark Twain If you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself.

- Fyodor Dostoevsky

What does self-acceptance mean to you? Can you be honest with yourself about your

gifts, talents and skills and also about your shortcomings, weaknesses and challenges?

Page 11: Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides · Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

How does accepting who you are right here and right now (not a glorified image of who

you plan to be) affect your acceptance of others?

We have a quote by Carl Rodgers on the inside cover of the Reentry Packet: The

curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. Explain

the meaning of this quote.

How does self-acceptance relate to ownership?

How does the image relate to the concept?

Work:

Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice and need. – Voltaire

What comes to mind when you say WORK?

Describe work you love. Describe work you dislike but are okay doing because of the

‘big picture’. Describe purposeful work.

What does the quote mean?

Why is it as important for you to interview the employer as it is for them to interview you?

How does ‘working toward goals’ or ‘working on a project’ differ from ‘going to work’?

What is the difference between a job and a vocation?

Boundaries:

The idea of setting good boundaries is to provide clarity, communication, and it takes a lot of bravery to do it. - Perna Chodron

Name some important boundaries (Ex: I will not drive over the speed limit. I will not

allow TV commercials to determine my desires. I will base my decisions on my values.)

Why is it important to set boundaries?

Are boundaries for YOU (to protect yourself) or for OTHERS (to understand you)?

Are boundaries in relationships easier or harder than boundaries about values and self-

control? Why?

Name 10 reasons others may dislike our boundaries.

What happens when they object to your boundaries? What can you do to help them

understand they are important and beneficial, even if they feel like rejection or worse?

How do the quote and the image relate to the concept of boundaries?

Degree of Agreeability:

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. - Francesca Reigler

What does this phrase mean? What do we mean by ‘degree’?

Why do we want to be agreeable, and yet hold our ground at the same time?

Consider other people in your life. Can you recognize their Degree of Agreeability and

see where it helps or hinders them? Do you think it’s authentic or contrived?

Do you think we must sometimes be a little less than totally authentic to be agreeable?

(for instance: eating my grandmother’s coconut-raspberry birthday cake when I really

don’t like coconut or raspberries, but I love my grandmother and want her to be relaxed

and happy on her birthday)

Page 12: Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides · Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

Equality:

How can we treat everyone equally when we are all different?

Do you ever put people on a pedestal, or give them un-earned respect or credit simply

because they are actors, politicians, attractive, wealthy or awesome auto mechanics?

Is it possible to see a person as an authority and also an equal? Explain.

What does the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt mean? How are you responsible for your

feelings if an entire group of people tries to make you feel inferior OR superior?

Do you feel ‘superior’ when you know something others don’t know, and if so, can you

still see that you are an equal or do you feel a little ‘above’ others? Explain.

Communication:

The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of

our lives. - Anthony Robbins

Name at least 15 types and modes of communication. (for starters: non-verbal: eye

brows, verbal: whispering, texting, smoke signals, inattentive driving, make up / clothes)

Why is it as important – or possibly more important – to listen?

Can you identify your main methods of communication?

Consider how the media communicates to us through ads, TV shows, news, radio

announcers, and weather forecasters. Compare that to how doctors, dentists, therapists

and other medical industry professionals communicate with us? (Notice the change

from TO us to WITH us? Why would we distinguish the difference?)

Who is responsible for ‘getting the point across’: the communicator or the listener?

How can we use communication to build or destroy trust?

How does how you act and what you do impact what you say or expect from others?

How does the quote and the image relate to the concept?

O.A.R.S

What are Open-Ended Questions? (provide examples)

What are Affirmations? (provide examples)

What is Reflective Listening? (provide examples)

Why is Support important in conflict resolution? (provide examples)

Describe how each of these communication skills are important to

o get a better understanding of the perspectives of others

o de-escalate arguments

o work on solutions to problems

How do the image and the quote relate to the concept? Do you know of other quotes,

memes (concepts) or images that you can apply to this approach to conflict resolution?

Describe a time when you were able to use your O.A.R.S.

Value:

I conceive that the great part of the miseries of mankind is brought upon them by false estimates they have made of the value of things. - Ben Franklin

How do we decide HOW to value things?

o By looking deep inside at who we are and what we want of ourselves?

o By listening to experts, actors, politicians or other authorities when they tell us

what we SHOULD value? If so, how do you determine which authorities to trust?

Page 13: Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides · Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

o By referring to the values we learned from our family when we were young?

o Deferring our values to those of our religion as much as possible? (and what

about when the question of value is not in that scope?)

What American values to we share? What family values are shared at home? What

community values are shared in your neighborhood, town or state?

What values do you have that you feel you have despite the values you were raised with

(perhaps you have changed your value as you’ve matured)? What values do you have

despite the values that are accepted by the status quo? (perhaps you are opposed to the

language used and/or relationship roles demonstrated on television)

How do you deal with different and sometimes opposing values? (Agree to disagree?)

Money plays a major role in our understanding of value in the US. Describe

o how money rarely relates to the actual value of anything

o how money trivializes and often trumps real and proper human values

o why we are consistently urged to use money to determine value (Do you

remember the phrase ‘ you get what you pay for’? How does this relate?)

How could we move the value of value away from money and toward qualities that are

good for everyone such as a healthy, educated, engaged and satisfied society?

Relationships:

Our greatest joy - and our greatest pain - comes in our relationships with others.

- Stephen R. Covey

UBUNTU: an ancient southern African philosophy that states: I am who I am because of

who we all are…which means we are born into relationship, we become who we are

because of relationship and we can never exist outside of relationship. Being human

means needing other humans. (see page 55) Describe how this philosophy relates to

you, to the health of our families and communities and to our ever-shrinking planet.

Is the philosophy of Ubuntu completely opposed to the philosophy of the Rugged

American Individual? (describe the Rugged American Individual (as YOU see it!) and

whether or not you believe it is true…in the past, present or future sense)

Describe when relationships (of all kinds…with your partner, your children, you mail

carrier, your disc golf friends, etc) are healthy. Describe the same relationships when

they are not healthy. Then describe the power you have in keeping them healthy.

(consider: boundaries, freedom, equality, flexibility and other concepts in the OM)

Discuss other important relationship concepts such as dependability, blaming, honesty,

guilt, support, codependency, optimism, ownership, control, joy, belonging and terms like

grandmother, grandfather, brother and sister when describing non-family relations.

Dependency:

When is it good to depend on others? Why or why not?

When is it not healthy or beneficial to depend on others? How can you tell if others are

dependable? How does ownership and trust play into this?

Is it important for you to be dependable? How can you show you are dependable?

Describe the benefits and challenges to being dependent and to being independent.

How do the image and the quote relate to the concept?

Page 14: Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides · Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

Tenacity:

Good Luck is another name for tenacity of purpose. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is tenacity? How is it the same or different from stubbornness or resolve??

How can we determine when we should ‘stick to it’ or when we should ‘cut our losses’?

Can you describe a time when your persistence and dedication paid off? Can you

remember a time when you stuck with something only to see it not come to fruition?

How does working hard for something add to the value of the ‘thing’?

How do the image and the quote relate to the concept?

Denial:

We can often see denial as it occurs in other people; we just can’t see it in ourselves.

- Charles N. Roper

How can we recognize when we are in denial? How can we determine the truth when

others say we are in denial?

Are there any times in our lives when denial is beneficial? Explain.

How do the image and the quote relate to the concept?

Can you see areas in your life where you deny the ‘truth’? Can you see where this might

sometimes be beneficial?

How does this quote by George Bernard Shaw relate to denial? People who say it

cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

Commitment:

Commitment in the face of conflict produces character. - Anonymous

Name 10 things you are committed to. Describe them from the easiest to the most

difficult commitments. For instance: brushing teeth (easy), waking up at 6 am (not too

bad), running 5 miles 4 days per week (some weeks are tough), no snacking between

meals (very difficult). Explain why they vary in difficulty.

Describe an overarching commitment and sub-commitments. Example: Overarching:

increase stamina, lose fat. Sub: wake up at 6 am for calisthenics, run 5 miles 4 days per

week, diet that is 50% fruits and vegetables, drink more water.

Are you firm or flexible regarding other people’s commitments to you? Or does it vary

depending on what the commitment is for? (‘call you later’ vs ‘let’s meet at 6 pm’)

Do you find it hard to change, cancel or renegotiate a commitment? Why?

Time Control:

Do you see yourself as having enough time, not enough time, too much time? Why?

Name 5 concerns you have about managing time when you are released.

Do you see yourself as someone who thinks quite a bit about the past, or someone who

is dedicated to living in the moment, or are you focused on your future? Explain.

Discuss how long you think it will take you to do these things: Travel to and from work,

make lunch to take to work, make breakfast and dinner, washing clothes (will travel be

involved?), clean your home (house, apartment, room/bathroom), exercise, shipping for

food clothes and cleaning supplies; recreation, reflection, spending time with

children/parents/ family, reading and relaxing. Create a calendar and insert the

information. Will you have enough time?

Are you managing your time now as well as you can?

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What do you have time for now that will be very difficult to find time for after release?

How do Ben Franklin’s quotes relate to the topic?

Reality Check:

Cloquet hated reality, but realized it was the only place to get a good steak. - Woody Allen

How do you know when you are being realistic? Discuss all of the questions in the OM.

Can you set goals a little out of your reach and design a plan that could be successful?

People may tell you that you are not realistic; that you are taking on too much. But you

feel you can see clearly that you will be able to do what you set out to do. How can you

assure them and assure yourself you have not taken on too much? Do you have an ‘exit

plan’ in case you find you did take on too much?

How do the image and the quote relate to the concept?

Education:

Everyone and everything around you is your teacher. - Ken Keyes, Jr.

Consider the questions that are in the OM.

What is the difference between book knowledge, experiential knowledge and belief?

How we determine which ‘information’ to trust when we are given opposing ‘truths’ so

often such as in the cases of Climate Change, Raising The Minimum Wage, Universal

Health Care, Genetically Modified Organisms and political candidates running for office?

What do you think it missing from, and what do you think is great about, public school?

What do you think the purpose of education should be?

What are some ways you educate yourself?

Point of View:

How do we know that the sky is not green and we are all colour-blind? - Anonymous

Why is it important to consider as many points of view as possible when making

important decisions?

How can you explore points of view from outside of your ‘circle’ or community?

Can you assess point of view of various TV shows including the news? How about

papers and magazines? Do the advertisers share their point of view?

How about novels. Can you find the point of view of the characters or the author when

reading fiction?

Discuss why it is important to consider all points of view when trying to solve a problem.

How do the image and the quote relate to the concept?

Can you imagine other points of view or play ‘devil’s advocate’?

Understanding:

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. - Dale Carnegie

What does the term ‘Help me to never judge another until I have walked a mile in his

moccasins’ mean? Consider the different types of footwear worn by people around the

world. Describe an everyday occurrence such as getting food and making a meal. Pick

three types of shoes (or no shoes!) and describe scene through the eyes of the people

wearing the different shoes. (Or, the group could put the names of different shoes in a

hat and individuals could pull them out and describe the scene.)

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How is it possible that there can be many ways of looking at something and not one way

is right? How does that affect our considerations of right and wrong?

Describe why it makes a difference to take into account the world view of the person with

whom you are working, sharing a home, solving a problem, sympathizing or arguing?

Do you feel people understand you? Why or why not? Do you wish to be understood?

How do the image and the quote relate to the concept?

Permission:

And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the

same. - Marianne Williamson

Have you seen instances where sometimes people feel they are in control and can make

decisions and other times those same people will say they can’t make a decision without

permission? What do think this means?

Name 5 instances where someone who asks for permission is really seeking approval.

Consider our dependence on experts. When we want something, we can usually find an

expert who will make sure we can buy it. We get permission and they get commission.

How is this a conflict of interest? Consider the applications to various professions.

Consider where people need to ask for your permission. To borrow a book? To sit next

to you? To take your picture? To smoke? Do you believe you grant permission easily?

Success:

Along with success comes a reputation for wisdom. – Euripides

Consider the questions from the OM. What definitions of success do most people share

and on which ideas do they differ? Does happiness require some type of success?

Name 10 areas of your life where you can feel successful. (Not that you necessarily feel

successful now, but you can feel successful with effort and engagement.)

Name 10 types of success at or through employment.

Swellness: (Also see page 53 in the Reentry Packet)

Cheerfulness is the principle ingredient in the composition of health. - Arthur Murphy

Discuss the quotes above.

How do you simultaneously build your mental and physical health?

Discuss the term Ubuntu (page 55) as it relates not only to people but also to our food,

animals, forests, ecosystems, water, glaciers, etc.

When we are healthy, we are capable of so much! When we are not healthy we are

weak and incapable. Why do we not focus more on being stronger, and instead allow

ourselves to become weaker, esp. in light of the size and breakthroughs in our mental

and physical health industries? (This is only for speculation. There is no right answer.)

Why do we need physical health for mental health? Why would we need good mental

health for good physical health?

Is mental health about the brain or is it about the mind? Please describe the difference.

Is it important to exercise our mind in a similar way that we exercise our bodies? Is it as

important to be flexible in our mind as it is in our bodies?

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Stress:

It's always the challenge of the future, this feeling of excitement that drives me.

- Yoshihisa Tabuchi

Describe sources and ways healthy stress can make you stronger

Describe sources and ways that unhealthy stress can make you weaker, ill or ornery.

Describe how you can use healthy stress to alleviate unhealthy stress.

How do the image and the quote relate to the concept?

What kind of stress do you feel now about reentry? What kind of stress do you

anticipate that you will feel after you are released…both in a halfway house or home-

confinement setting, or after you are free from the physical constraints?

Anger: (also see Managing Anger, page 35)

Flying off the handle sometimes causes hammers and humans to lose their heads, as well as their effectiveness. - William Arthur Ward

Describe how anger can be used as a powerful, durable and effective positive energy

source. Please share stories about turning anger into a force for good.

Think of issues that make us angry. Then think of how we can use the anger to make the

situation better or, if that is not possible in the moment, how to invest the energy into

long-term solutions by addressing the root of the problem.

Read Sue’s Anger Story, starting on page 37. Does it seem she was angry over nothing,

or that perhaps she got angry when someone was being thoughtful and kind? Discuss

how our anger triggers are as diverse as we are and are often rooted deep in our history.

How do the image and the quote relate to the concept?

Diet:

As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists. - Joan Gussow

Discuss why fresh air and lots of water is important in any diet

How does a good diet affect our Swellness?

Junk food is high fructose corn syrup, artificial colors and flavors, preservatives, and

what else? What is healthy food? Discuss ways to eat healthy on a small budget.

Exercise:

If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise. - Anonymous

Do you exercise regularly? Both your mind and your body?

How can you exercise your mind? What are the benefits of strengthening your mind?

Name 10 ways you can exercise without gym or sports equipment.

What are some benefits of physical exercise?

Flexibility:

I have come to the conclusion, after many years of sometimes sad experience that you cannot come to any conclusion at all. - Vita Sackville-West

Why do you need to be flexible mentally as well as physically?

How will flexibility benefit you in your home life, you work like, your recreation?

If you want people to be flexible with you as you make your transition, do you think you

can be flexible with them when they are thoughtless or have unrealistic expectations?

Confucious said: The green reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty

oak which breaks in a storm. What does he mean?

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Culture Shock Workshop Guide The goals and objectives below are meant to serve as a guide for individuals or groups

working with the Fair Shake Reentry Packet; please adjust as needed according to your

group or individual needs.

Goals and Objectives:

The goals of this workshop are to describe and discuss reentry culture shock issues from as

many perspectives as possible. The people going home have the most pronounced culture

shock, of course, but the people they are close to will have huge changes as well, and the

waves may ripple even further into employment and beyond. We can all get through it more

comfortably with a wider perspective and a more fluid and accepting awareness.

Upon completion of this workshop, participants will be able to describe culture shock issues and

how they relate to reentry, identify some of the less-obvious but sometimes more-persistent

cultural differences between life in prison and life outside of prison, and consider the

perspectives of other reentry stakeholders.

Discussion: Use the text below for discussions if you’d like. We also encourage you to develop

your own questions, or ask the group to come up with questions, around the many Culture

Shock considerations. Real life examples have the greatest impact.

Quotes:

Quotes are ‘fire-starters’. They are thought-provoking and effective for making a point or setting

the stage for an open discussion. We suggest asking the group if they can provide a quote

concerning culture shock and discussing it. We have provided a sample quote:

“Family and friends are waiting to greet you open arms, but not always with open eyes. Facing the unbelievable "newness" of home and the unwillingness of friends to listen leaves returning participants feeling more like strangers in their own country.” – Re-Entry Shock by Thea Miller

Culture Shock study guide:

Several elements characterize all types of reentry…from ex-patriots moving home to people coming out of prison to students who study abroad, many feel these things:

An idealized view of home life The expectation of total familiarity (nothing at home has changed while you’ve been

gone) Anxiety to get needs met and create economic stability as quickly as possible.

People may struggle for various reasons as they reenter society. Attitudes and behaviors

that ensure survival in prison (being intimidating, withdrawn, etc.) are counter-productive when it

comes to establishing a stable social and emotional life. One must recognize:

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Culture Shock Workshop Guide

The culture shock of going from every move being dictated to having the freedom to

make decisions - and the importance of making responsible decisions - and moving

away from behaviors that lead to crime.

The wisdom to invoke self-discipline and be pro-active rather than reactive

That prison life is traumatic and in many ways dehumanizing. Being back in society has

its own traumas. Basic human needs – food, shelter and clothing, are no longer provided

as they were in prison which creates the challenge of having to provide for one’s self;

usually with minimal skills

That facing challenges head on with optimism and strength increases your odds of

achieving your goals and staying out of prison.

Exercises

Perspective:

Individual: Think of the lifestyle differences in prison and outside of prison, and then come up

with situations where there may be a difference in how you would respond. One situation in

prison and one outside of prison. Play the scenario out in your mind with one ineffective

response and one effective response, and then consider why you would respond the way that

you chose and the possible consequences.

Groups: Groups may create skits using the lifestyle differences and act those skits out.

Example:

Out of prison: You’re walking down a crowded side walk and someone bumps into you.

Effective response: You say excuse me with a smile and continue walking.

Consequence: You continue on with your day without incident

Ineffective response: You scowl and ask the person “what’s your problem?” and demand an

apology.

Consequence: The person (who’s having a bad day) believes that you bumped into them and

he or she demands an apology from you. You stand your ground feeling that you were

disrespected and the other person feels the same. Now what?

In prison: Someone bumps into you in the mess hall and doesn’t say “excuse me”. (This is a

sure sign that a person lacks respect for you. However, in prison this comes with the added

pressure of what those that witness the incident think.)

Positive response: You brush it off and continue on with your day understanding that the mess

hall is a crowded place and they may not have realized that they bumped into you.

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Culture Shock Workshop Guide

Consequence: Walking away could convey to the predators that you are prey. This is one of

the many ways that a culture (prison) can dictate your actions.

Ineffective response: You use a violent response to prove that you’re not soft and that you’re

worthy of respect.

Consequence: You’ll end up in the hole and possibly create beef that escalates and lasts a

lifetime.

In prison you’re in survival mode and your options are limited. Even when you want to do the

right thing you have to think about what everyone else thinks, not because you’re considerate,

but because your survival may depend on it.

On the outside you have options and it is very important to keep this in the forefront of your

mind. People are most likely not looking to test your toughness.

If you take the prison mindset out into society with you it will eventually lead you back to where

those behaviors can be accepted.

Other Culture Shock Considerations

Contribute to the Culture Shock list: There are important considerations that we are missing.

When you think of topics to add, or change the ones we have, we hope you’ll share your ideas

with us (address on the cover). We’d like to share them if possible ~)

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Culture Shock Workshop Guide

Worksheet

There are no right or wrong answers this worksheet is a tool to help you better

understand culture shock and create effective ways to handle it.

1. Give an example of culture shock. What effects could it have?

_________________

2. What are some ways culture shock affects the reentry process?

____________________

________________________________________________________________

3. Do you believe that culture shock is preventable? Explain your answer.

____________________________________

________________________________________________________________

4. In your opinion what is the most effective way to approach culture shock? Explain your

answer.

________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

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Dealing With Rejection

Workshop Guide 1/4

www.fairshake.net "Dealing With Rejection Workshop Guide" from the Fair Shake Reentry Packet

The goals and objectives below are meant to serve as a guide for individuals or groups working with the Fair Shake Reentry Packet; please adjust as needed according to your group or individual needs. Goals and Objectives: The goals and objectives of this section are to provide tips that will

assist the participants with the challenges of being rejected or excluded as they transition back into society. The participants will have a comprehensive understanding of the importance of addressing these feelings effectively. Discussion: You may use the paragraphs and questions below for discussion, but we

encourage you to develop your own questions that correlate to the Dealing With Rejection section of the Reentry Packet. This is to provoke personalized thoughts and experiences so that the material is as effective as possible for each participant. Terrell’s Experience:

Being rejected is not a good feeling and it is easy to be negatively affected when we’re faced with it. It is a part of the human experience from early childhood throughout the course of our adult lives and it is important to find ways to address those feelings in a constructive way. Whenever we relate with other people, pursue our desires or compete with others we risk being rejected. If we don’t learn how to deal with this feeling in a manner that will serve us, it could easily become a toxic experience. In my past, I found myself so set on avoiding rejection that I missed valuable opportunities. Although it is still something I struggle with at times, understanding that I am a work in progress, and accepting that regardless of how protective I am of my feelings, there will always be situations where I’m vulnerable to rejection. Once I decided to intentionally allow myself to be vulnerable and practice effective responses to being rejected, I began to grow. I found value in analyzing the pain of rejection, my interpretation of the meaning, and, wherever possible, getting a clear understanding of why I was rejected. This was especially helpful in my personal relationship because it provided opportunities for growth for both me and my partner. I could get feedback on why I was being rejected and give her feedback on her style, including the language or tone she used. With every experience I found that I felt increasingly comfortable. Sue’s View:

It is good to be discerning. We cannot allow everything. We go to the fruit stand and reject many apples before we pick the one we want. Employers want just the right person for the job; they know their organization depends not only on the skills and knowledge required to do the job, but the bonds between the employees which play an equally vital role in the success of the business. Plays and movies require just the right actor to tell the story powerfully; many actors are rejected searching for the right one. We can avoid some rejection by getting better at assessing if a relationship - employer, romantic, backgammon game - is the right ‘fit’. Don’t be afraid to differentiate yourself! You will pay a price…in rejection, being alone, standing out in a

crowd; but you will be rewarded for your authenticity and honesty in the long run, and you will find the ‘best fits’ are the ones that nourish your soul and grow your network.

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Dealing With Rejection

Workshop Guide 2/4

www.fairshake.net "Dealing With Rejection Workshop Guide" from the Fair Shake Reentry Packet

Quotes: Quotes are Fire Starters. We suggest asking the group to provide a quote for dealing with frustration and discussing it. Examples:

When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to you in every situation you will have peace despite rejection or disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the negative energy of fear and regret. - Shannon L. Alder

Sometimes I feel my whole life has been one big rejection. - Marilyn Monroe I am good at walking away. Rejection teaches you how to reject. - Jeanette Winterson

Discussion Questions: We provided these examples as guides. Consider breaking up in to

groups to answer the questions, or share individual responses and see if a larger answer can be created that includes many voices. Examples:

What are some effective ways that rejection can influence a person’s life?

What are some examples of rejection you may face upon reentry?

What are some effective ways to handle those rejections?

Must we risk failure and rejection to feel the power of success? Worksheet This worksheet is to serve as an example and may be used by individuals or groups. It is designed to assist learners in understanding how they currently deal with rejection and how to consider different perspectives to create better outcomes

1. Think back to a situation where you felt rejected and write it in the space provided below. 2. What emotions did you experience? 3. How did those emotions affect your judgement?

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Dealing With Rejection

Workshop Guide 3/4

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4. Do you think the overall outcome for the situation would have been different if you would have considered a different perspective and/or processed your feelings differently? 5. Do you feel it is important to consider the source of the rejection? (For example: being rejected as a finalist in a poetry contest vs being rejected by a person with whom you’d hoped to develop a deeper romantic relationship) Why or why not? 6. Do you think that learning why you were rejected is important? Why or why not? 7. If the same situation you identified above occurred today would you do things differently? Why or why not? 8. Can you remember or imagine a situation where you were rejected and, although it felt crummy at first, you soon (or eventually) realized that it was the best decision for everyone? Explain.

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Dealing With Rejection

Workshop Guide 4/4

www.fairshake.net "Dealing With Rejection Workshop Guide" from the Fair Shake Reentry Packet

9. Now remember a situation where you had to reject something someone offered you, or someone for a particular role or responsibility you were looking for. How did you feel being the person who had to choose one and reject many? 10. Were you willing and able to understand the impact your decision had on those who were rejected? Did you supply reasons for rejecting things or people? 11. Explore how rejection is not about the quality or character of the individual, but about the ability to fill the role, take on the responsibility or address specific qualities needed for the position, relationship or duty. 12. Consider and discuss how you can set yourself up for rejection by not seeing a situation clearly enough. 13. Consider and discuss how people who are and have been rejected must explore their level of sensitivity when they are rejected, and how they can become less hurt by understanding more about their feelings.

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Handling Frustration

Workshop Guide

The goals and objectives below are meant to be a guide for individuals or groups

working with the Fair Shake Reentry Packet; please adjust according to your group or

individual needs.

Goals and Objectives: The goals and objectives of this section are to provide insights and

ideas that may help frustrated people understand themselves and other frustrated people, learn

some tips to cope with feeling frustrated, and create options to relieve frustration. The learners

will have an understanding why it is important to try to manage frustration.

Possible discussion points:

We have provided the following discussion points as a guide. Use them if you wish or create

your own.

Please share your thoughts about the text provided in the Reentry Packet by Scott

Young.

How do you see frustration? (Similarly? Differently?)

What types of things frustrate you? Can you recognize them?

Is frustration energy-draining? If so, how could this affect your transition? What

happens to you when your energy stores are depleted?

Why are frustrating problems more energy-consuming than normal tasks?

Consider some frustrating situations. Do you have a personal strategy such as walking

away? Imagining yourself sitting on the edge of a calm lake? Using meditation, breathing

or yoga to lift yourself out of the situation for a moment to get perspective?

Quotes:

Quotes are Fire Starters. They are thought-provoking and effective for making a point or setting

the stage for an open discussion. We suggest asking the group if they can provide a quote for

dealing with frustration and discuss it.

Example:

To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles.

- T.F. Hodge

Handling Frustration Worksheet

An important key to handling frustration is identifying our triggers! Frustration can impact every

facet of life and if it's not recognized or handled appropriately, it can have potentially dangerous

results. When you start feeling like it’s getting harder to breathe and the walls are getting a little

closer, if possible, take a moment to calm yourself and reflect before continuing on your task.

Practice a brief moment of deep breathing. Sometimes taking a few deep breaths and releasing

them slowly, while focusing on nothing…or a calming image…is enough to keep the frustration

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Handling Frustration

Workshop Guide

from taking a turn toward anger. Can you see identify the trigger for your frustration? Your

friends, children, spouses, family members and roommates can help you see your triggers!

The table below is a tool to help you recognize your triggers and frustration levels.

Directions: Write down the frustrations you experience throughout the week in the appropriate

box, according to the level of frustration and the day of the week. Think about how you handled

the frustration and circle whether the outcome was effective or ineffective. We have provided an

example to get you started. This will enable you to become proactive in creating effective ways to

deal with your frustration.

Examples:

Minor Irritation Irritating but Manageable Extremely Irritating

Someone scuffed my new shoes accidently

Effective / Ineffective

My neighbor was playing loud

music while I studied

Effective / Ineffective

Someone spoke to me in a

disrespectful tone

Effective / Ineffective

Monday

Effective / Ineffective Effective / Ineffective Effective / Ineffective

Tuesday

Effective / Ineffective Effective / Ineffective Effective / Ineffective

Wednesday Effective / Ineffective Effective / Ineffective Effective / Ineffective

Thursday

Effective / Ineffective Effective / Ineffective Effective / Ineffective

Friday

Effective / Ineffective Effective / Ineffective Effective / Ineffective

Saturday

Effective / Ineffective Effective / Ineffective Effective / Ineffective

Sunday

Effective / Ineffective Effective / Ineffective Effective / Ineffective

The table will become a helpful tool for you to recognize your triggers. Once you see yourself

more clearly, you may be able to tailor your responses to the outcomes you desire. The more

honest and specific you are with yourself, the better your overall chances are of channeling that

energy into something positive.

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Handling Frustration

Workshop Guide A helpful excerpt by Eric Ravenscraft:

Use the ABCD Method to Deal with Frustration Location: http://lifehacker.com/use-the-abcd-method-to-deal-with-frustration-1695919429

We get frustrated by a lot of things. Some make sense like our car breaking down. Others, less so, like everyday traffic. To deal with everyday frustrations like these, employ the ABCD method. The problem with many of our frustrations is that we irrationally expect that totally normal things won’t happen to us. The phone call we weren’t expecting. The person in front of us at the checkout line who’s writing a check. How dare they? The problem isn’t really those other

people. It’s our expectations. You can adjust your expectation with what notable psychotherapist and researcher Albert Ellis calls the ABCD method. As tips blog Barking Up the Wrong Tree explains: A is Activating Event. Bumper-to-bumper traffic.

B is your beliefs. Often they’re irrational. “This shouldn’t happen to me.” Well, guess what? It is

happening.

C is emotional consequences of A and B. You get angry, frustrated or depressed. You

can’t change A very often, but you can change B. And changing B will change C.

D: Dispute your irrational thoughts and beliefs. “Wait a second. When did the universe

guarantee me a trouble-free existence? It didn’t. Traffic has happened before. It will happen

again. And I will survive.” Look for the beliefs that hold the words “should”, “ought” or “must.”

Don’t ‘should’ on yourself! Try to replace irrational thoughts and fears with a calmer, more

reasonable assessment that can shift your mood.

Not every problem you ever have is going to be something you can make disappear with a simple attitude adjustment. Losing your job or an unexpected medical expense is always gonna cause some stress. But you can save yourself some trouble by not already being worked up over the little things. The less you internalize the trivial problems that you can already expect,

the more prepared you’ll be to handle the big problems.

What do you think of the chart, or the ABCD method, or of trying to get ‘out of your head’ for a moment?

Have you tried any of these methods and if so, can you share your experience with the group?

What kinds of feelings can be experienced when we are frustrated?

Describe the meaning of: Don’t make a mountain out a mole hill…and how it relates to

this topic.

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Handling Frustration

Workshop Guide

Terrell’s Frustration Story

Since my release to the halfway house, I’ve had problems getting my state Identification.

It started when I left the facility that I was released from without the original copy of my birth certificate, although I had had an original sent into the facility. (Be sure to check your

documents!)

No problem, I figured; I’d just order another, so I ordered my birth certificate to be shipped overnight. ‘Overnight’ turned into over a week, so I called the office. I was told that I would have to wait until the end of the second week to ‘give it more time”. (More time for an overnight

request?!)

Not having the ID hindered me from starting my new job. Even though my employer insisted

that they didn’t need it, the halfway house required me to have it to get a job.

I felt stranded; lost in the Office of Vital Statistics. We called back and forth for three months and in the end I spent over $200 to get my $15 birth certificate.

I was finally able to go down to the DMV and get a non-driver ID. I was issued a temporary card

that allowed me to start working. The card was good for three months.

I could finally start my routine, or so I thought.

Like the birth certificate, I was told that I’d have the official ID card in 14 business days. Nearly

three months later, with my temporary ID about to expire, it was still not in my possession.

By this time I was in the process of beginning college. Fortunately, I was able use my veteran’s ID card to get through the initial round of admissions, but they informed me that I would need the official state ID in order to take the admission exams.

I inquired about the ID to find out that it had been sent, but was sent back to the DMV. In order for me to have it in time for the exams I would have to spend another $20 and hope that I’d get

in time.

Just when I thought it was over, here I was again…with my plans to start college about to derail.

Though extremely frustrating, I realize that these experiences will to prepare me for other

frustrations that are sure to come.

The little issue with ID didn’t get the best of me, in fact, it prepared me to give my best. Friedrich Nietzsche said: What does not kill me, makes me stronger. Thanks to these

experiences, and clear intentions for reentry success, I am getting stronger every day.

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Motivation Tips Workshop Guide

The goals and objectives below are meant to serve as a guide for individuals or groups

working with the Fair Shake Reentry Packet; please adjust as needed according to your

group or individual needs.

Goals and Objectives:

The goals and objectives of this section are to provide motivational ideas and suggestions that

will assist participants with their transition back into society. The participants will have a full

understanding why it is necessary to be able to motivate themselves.

Ask students to define motivation. Write their responses on the board, then read the text from the Reentry Packet and combine the definitions into a single concept. After the group has agreed on a working definition of motivation, begin a discussion on the role of motivation. Be sure to clearly explain the difference between Intrinsic and Extrinsic motivation. From the Oxford University Press:

INTRINSIC MOTIVATION An incentive to do something that arises from factors within the individual, such as a need to feel useful or to seek self-actualization.

EXTRINSIC MOTIVATION An incentive to do something that arises from factors outside the individual, such as rewards or penalties. The promise of a bonus if one meets agreed performance targets is an obvious example of such motivation. Questions:

What is your personal definition of motivation? Is it feasible for a person to be both intrinsically and extrinsically motivated at the same time? Select Discussion Points (the group should decide):

Discussion Points: The following discussion points correlate with the Motivation Tips

document in the Reentry Packet. We suggest reading Motivation Tips and then refer to the

corresponding discussion point shared below or one that the group has agreed on.

1. Decision-making starts with seeing a situation clearly and knowing what you want. It

gives you impetus and direction. Seeing the situation clearly gives you the perspective

you need to determine where you are, plan where you want to go and figure out how you

will get there. When you create your plan be meticulous, and be sure to include the

hurdles because they will be there! Expect the unexpected. The more detailed your

plans are, the greater the possibility of accomplishing your goals. Likelihood of success

is motivating!

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Motivation Tips Workshop Guide

2. Effective people make plans, not excuses. Count on discouraging events; they will

happen. See your hurdles…see paths through them and know you will be stronger and

more capable after you get over them! Where one person may wish to give up their

power by blaming others, fate, circumstances or even God, an effective person becomes

more powerful and more capable because they learn from every challenge. When you’re

stuck, think of at least 3 ways you can get unstuck.

3. Procrastination is a slayer of dreams. What are you waiting for? The most effective way

to overcome bad habits is to replace them with good ones. If you’re not progressing

towards your goals, you’re either regressing or stagnant, which is counter-productive

and leaves no room for success. Replace procrastination with action steps toward your

goals.

4. Attempting to do too much at once can almost be the same as not doing anything at all;

we can get frustrated and overwhelmed and end up doing our work poorly…which is

demotivating. A task may seem overwhelming when viewed in its totality, however when

it’s broken into parts it becomes manageable, which relieves pressure and allows for a

systematic approach to carrying out the task out completely.

5. For most people, creative and committed energy levels usually peak by early afternoon.

Tackling the more undesirable tasks when your energy level is high makes them less

difficult. As your energy level begins to decline later in the day you can pursue more

pleasant activities that will re-energize you.

6. Self- discipline is one of the most important keys to success. Without it you will find

yourself continuously straying from your path, making it more difficult to reach your

intended destination. Self-discipline is among your most effective tools; learn to use it!

7. The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. ~ Lao Tzu. People sometimes

procrastinate on starting things because they feel overwhelmed before they begin. The

fear of failure, and also the fear of success, are sneaky, self-defeating feelings that can

destroy hopes and dreams. Good habits start with intentional repetition and at some

point switch over to ‘how you do things’. Let continuous progress toward your goals, no

matter how small, become ‘how you do things’.

8. Rewarding yourself is important. It’s your acknowledgment of progress made, which

inspires further progression. It’s important, however, to keep things in perspective.

Celebrate your accomplishments! And use that great feeling to take the next steps

toward your ultimate goal.

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Motivation Tips Workshop Guide

9. The mind is constantly at work. If you do not maintain a balance of concerted effort with

enjoyable stress-relieving activities, enthusiasm and motivation for the things you need

to do can taper off. Be sure to add exercise, meditation, relaxation or book-reading time

into your schedule so that you can maintain your enthusiasm and motivation where it is

needed most.

10. Keeping your end goal in mind also keeps things in perspective. The most daunting task

becomes a reasonable task - and may even embraced - because it becomes the means

to the end (success!) instead of appearing to be an end itself.

11. Share your goals with someone who will encourage you and hold you accountable.

They can support you! They can ask how you’re doing show genuine interest. These

are extrinsic and intrinsic motivators: we ‘prove’ to someone, and we also reflect and feel

good about our accomplishments.

12. Taking an objective look at your habits will allow you to see where you may hold yourself

back. By taking a big view, you can make adjustments and replace bad habits with good

ones that may feel awkward at first, but become second-nature when done often.

13. Every successful person has had to endure something they didn’t want to do or

experience in order to reach a goal. Consider the challenges as building your character

the way hard work and exercise build muscle and stamina!

14. Having a “To Do” list enables you to prioritize and systematically complete the small

tasks that lead to the large goal. Seeing your progress is a reward that can motivate you

to continue to down the list!

Motivation Tips Worksheets

We have taken one of the topics from the Motivation Tips portion of the reentry packet

and developed comprehensible worksheets to serve as a guide. The group or individual

may use the worksheet provided or develop their own.

Circle your answer to the following questions. Identify your answer as Intrinsic or

Extrinsic. Can you identify the other possibilities as both Intrinsic and Extrinsic?

Discuss. Add more ideas! (Then share them with us so we can share them with others!)

1. Several people have invited you out to dinner. Which would you choose to go with?

a) The most fashionable or good-looking person

b) The most interesting person

c) The person that cares the most about you

d) The smartest person

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Motivation Tips Workshop Guide

2. Which feels better to you?

a) Helping someone because you will be rewarded

b) Helping someone because that person needs your help

c) Helping someone because you know you will enjoy feeling connected to them

3. What is more important to your decision-making?

a) How the decision will look to others

b) What the decision means to your life

c) If the decision meets your role requirements as a citizen, parent, employee,

spouse, sibling, child, etc.

4. You have several job offers. Which would you choose?

a) The one that pays the most

b) The one that you really love doing, but pays less

c) The one that offers opportunities to move up or grow in both the organization and

yourself

d) The one that has the most time off

5. In general what is more important to you?

a) Competition

b) Having fun

c) Feeling like you have power over your destiny.

Participants should be given 15 minutes to answer the questions. The facilitator will then

ask for volunteers to share at least one of their answers and openly discuss whether it is

Intrinsic or Extrinsic or both.

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Managing Anger Workshop Guide

The goals and objectives below are meant to serve as a guide for individuals or groups

working with the Fair Shake Reentry Packet; please adjust as needed according to your

group or individual needs.

Goals and Objectives: The goals and objectives of this section are to provide tips that will

assist the participants with managing anger now and in the future. The participants will

understand why it is beneficial to deal with anger effectively. Participants will learn multiple ways

of dealing with anger including learning that feeling anger doesn’t mean you have to

demonstrate anger, and also how to deal with someone else’s anger.

Discussion: You may use the paragraphs and questions below for discussion, but we

encourage you to develop your own questions that correlate to the Managing Anger section of

the Reentry Packet. This is to provoke personalized thoughts and experiences so that the

material is as effective as possible for each participant.

What is Anger?

Anger is a normal emotion with a wide range of intensity, from mild irritation, and frustration to

rage. It is a reaction to a perceived threat to us, our loved ones, our property, our self-image, or

some part of our identity. Anger is a warning bell that tells us that something is wrong.

Anger has Three Components:

Sources: Anger Research Consortium; American Psychological Association

Physical Reactions: usually starting with a rush of adrenaline and responses such as an

increased heart rate, blood pressure, and tightening muscles

Cognitive Responses: or how we perceive and think about what is making us angry. For

example, we might think something that happened to us is wrong, unfair, and undeserved.

Behavior: or the way we express our anger. There is a wide range of behavior that signals

anger. For instance, we may turn red, raise our voice, clam up, slam doors or stomp our feet

when we walk away. We may also state that we are angry and why, ask for a time-out, request

an apology, or ask for something to change.

Everyone experiences anger, and it can be healthy. It can motivate us to stand up for ourselves

and correct injustices. When we manage anger well, it prompts us to make positive changes in

our lives and in our world.

Mismanaged anger, on the other hand, is counter-productive and can be unhealthy. When

anger is too intense; out of control, misdirected and overly aggressive, it can lead to poor

decision making and problem solving, create problems in relationships at home, school and

work, and can even affect your health.

Page 35: Fair Shake Reentry Packet Peer Learning & Self-Study Guides · Fair Shake Workshop Guides I am not an expert in these matters, however being both the bad kid and the felon I can speak

When anger is out of control, it can cause you to make poor decisions. These decisions can

create problems in all aspects of your life including driving. People may begin to feel fearful and

anxious around you. Anger can cause high blood pressure, headaches and sleeping problems.

Anger is harmful when

You get angrier than the situation calls for.

You stay angry after the situation is over and can’t move on.

You feel angry all the time or many times a day.

You’re not always sure why you’re angry.

You get angry with those very close to you for very little reason.

You use physical or verbal aggression.

You lose jobs, friends, or relationships because of your anger.

You turn to drugs or alcohol to cope with your anger.

Despite the potential problems that not managing your anger can cause some anger can be

beneficial. Because anger is such a strong emotion, it can be a motivating factor for change in

your life - one of the best ways to manage anger is to channel what is making you angry into

creating lasting, positive change. Consistent anger can also be a warning sign of a lack of job

fulfillment or an unsatisfying relationship. By understanding what makes you angry you can work

on managing anger to improve your life.

Discussion Questions:

How can anger be an effective emotion?

How can unmanaged anger derail your journey towards positive re- entry?

How would you normally react to someone flying off the handle?

What is the best way to deal with someone else’s anger?

Anger Triggers

The situations that cause you to get angry are called triggers. These might include being

ignored or failing at something new. Sometimes they are situations that remind you of painful

situations from your past.

Your anger triggers are unique and based on your life experiences. If you can predict your

anger triggers, you can be ready to react appropriately.

Recognizing Feelings Related to Anger

Anger is not always just anger. You may react with anger when what you really feel is

embarrassment, fear, or hurt. One reason you might react with anger is because you think being

angry makes you look strong and showing those other feelings makes you look weak. Feeling

angry may seem safe. It may just be a habit you’ve had for a long time.

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When your anger is triggered, pay attention to the other feelings that come up. If you can name

the feelings underneath your anger, you can start to resolve them in a healthy way. Here are

some feelings that can be caused by anger triggers.

Disrespect Frustration Disappointment

Impatience Boredom Loneliness

Sadness Shame Fear

Embarrassment Hurt Impatience

Managing Anger Worksheet

There are no right or wrong answers this worksheet is a tool to help you better understand the

ways you manage your anger.

1. Give an example of a time when your anger was unhealthy. What effects did it have?

2. Give an example of a time when your anger was healthy. What effects did it have?

3. Read a list of signs of harmful and helpful anger on the previous page. Are any of the signs

true for you? Which ones?

4. Do you think you have a problem with anger? Explain why or why not

5. Write three of your personal anger triggers, then think about what feelings might be beneath

your anger in each of those situations.

6. What are Sue’s anger triggers? What are some effective ways to resolve her issues?

Do you think her issues will come up in other situations? If so, when or where?

Anger Cues

Another way to recognize anger is by paying attention to your body. Anger cues are physical

signs that you are getting angry. It is important to recognize these physical signs before the

anger get out of control. Then, you can pause and try to figure out what other emotions you are

feeling underneath the anger.

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Once you are honest with yourself about your feelings, you can be honest with others. This is a

healthy way to deal with anger. Anger cues can include the following:

Racing or pounding heart

Clenched teeth

Clenched fist

Feeling hot

Feeling cold

Sweating

Loud voice

Breathing faster and harder

Red face

Tensed muscles

Trembling or shaking

Upset stomach

Dry mouth

Lots of energy

Think about the last time you got angry. How did your body feel? Discuss.

Dealing with Anger

Even though everyone experiences anger, the way people deal with anger are as different as

we are. Lots of things affected how you learned to express anger. You learned how to respond

to anger from your culture and the society you grew up in.

You also learned how to express anger from your family. If your parents yelled at you or at each

other, you probably yell when you are angry at someone. If your family never talked about how

they felt, you probably don’t tell people when you are angry at them.

There are three main ways people deal with anger. As you read through the list, think about

your past experiences and how your family and friends generally deal with anger.

Expressing it. Some people will express their anger verbally or physically. If their anger is

uncontrolled, they may yell, throw a tantrum, destroy property, or physically hurt someone when

they are angry. If they are in control of their anger, they communicate their anger and take

action to solve the problem.

Suppressing it. Some people will hold in their anger or direct it themselves. While it’s okay to

suppress anger for a short period of time, people need to deal with their anger eventually. When

people always suppress their anger, they can suffer from depression or health problems, such

as high blood pressure. Some people may also try to escape their anger by turning to drugs and

alcohol or, other self- destructive habits.

Managing it. Some people will take steps to manage their anger and calm themselves down.

Deep breathing exercise and positive self-talk are a few ways people manage their anger and

calm themselves. Once calm, people can express their anger in a controlled way.

Finally, in our society, we often see anger expressed with violence, which causes more

violence. We see violence in movies, on television, and in video games. We hear about it in the

lyrics of popular music. We witness violence in our communities.

Violence can ruin lives. Anger often causes violence, and violence causes more anger. To

break the cycle of violence we must learn to deal with and express our anger in a controlled,

assertive way. Discuss.