facilitating effective meetings
TRANSCRIPT
Facilitating Effective Meetings
2021-2022
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Welcome to Facilitating Effective Meetings Training
This course will provide you with the skills and tools necessary to plan and
facilitate effective meetings. Skills and techniques will apply to a wide range of meetings, groups,
and all types of structures and group functions ranging from visioning and action planning to decision
making and conflict resolution.
You will explore:
Self awareness about your participation in groups
Group theory and team building strategies
Communication and conflict resolution skills necessary for meeting management
The role of the neutral facilitator
Other meeting roles and functions
Group process and the consensus decision making model
Interest-based negotiation and decision making
Tricks and Tips for the Trade
The specific content to be covered is detailed in the following agenda. Our trainings are highly inter-
active and experiential. We expect that participants will learn about their own styles of interaction,
will gain practical skills in communication and conflict resolution, and will have some fun with our
community building exercises!
We look forward to working with you.
Oriana Noël Lewis
Training Manager
(360) 956-1155
www.mediatethurston.org
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AGENDA OF FULL COURSE
Session 1 of 8, 10a-12p, Monday, October 18 (3rd Mon)
Welcome! Introductions and Overview of the Course
Module 1, Styles of Relating
Styles of Relating Exercise
Conflict Styles and the Conflict Belief Cycle
Session 2 of 8, 10a-12p, Monday, November 15 (3rd Mon) Module 2, Working with Groups
Group Dynamics and Team Building Functions
Module 3, Listening and Surfacing Interests
Active Listening Skills
Issues and Interests
Reframing
Finding the “Third Way” Stories
Session 3 of 8, 10a-12p, Monday, November 22 (4th Mon)
Module 4, Meeting Roles & Effective Meetings Model Overview
Role of the neutral facilitator
Ethics
Other roles
Keys to Effective Meetings
Types of Meetings
Four Components of Any Effective Meeting
Satisfaction Triangle Meeting Model Overview
Session 4 of 8, 10a-12p, Monday, December 20 (3rd Mon)
Module 5, Pre-Meeting Activities
Identify Purpose, Roles and Key Players
Assess for Issues and Interests: Levels of Conflict / Areas of Conflict
Identify Prior Decision Making Methodology
Boundary Management: Who makes the decisions
Agenda Formation
Invitations, Materials, and Room Set-Up & Analyzing Room Arrangements
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Session 5 of 8, 10a-12p, Monday, January 24 (3rd Mon)
Module 6, Meeting Activities
Process Agreements
Agenda Formation and Prioritization
Addressing the Agenda Items
Information Gathering
Discussion and Exploration of Options
Decision Making
Next Steps
Meeting Evaluation
Module 7, Decision Making Models
Structures
Uses and Abuses of Parliamentary Procedure
Consensus vs. Majority Rule, a comparison of 2 different models
The Consensus Model
“Sense of the Meeting” Tools
Session 6 of 8, 10a-12p, Monday, January 31 (5th Mon) Module 8, Power Dynamics
Human Bingo
Strategies for Balancing Power
Module 9, Facilitator Skills
Advanced Communication Skills Lesson and Exercise
(question, normalize, summarize, fractionalize, confront, coach)
Divergent and Convergent Group Movement
Session 7 of 8, 10a-12p, Monday, February 28th (4th Mon) Module 10, The Tool Box
Brainstorming, icebreakers, talking stick, small groups, suggestion circles, evaluation matrix, Q&A, Individu-al think time, homework, n/3 voting, breaks, making it fun-sharing food and celebration, appreciations, check-ins, parking lot, fishbowl, time outs, threshing sessions, negative voting, gripe session, why care list, Lasso, shufflers, use of committee work, sticky dots for prioritization, post it notes to categorize issues, thumbs or 5 fingers, closing activities, etc, etc, etc
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Session 8 of 8, 10a-12p, Monday, March 21 (3rd Mon)
Module 11, Dealing with Difficult Behaviors
Difficult Behaviors
Worst Fears
The Bogart Exercise
Module 12,Facilitation Practice & Feedback
Debrief, Closing and Evaluation
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Module 1: Styles of Relating 11
Module 2: Working with Groups 19
Module 3: Listening and Surfacing Interests 25
Module 4: Meeting Roles 33
Modules 5 & 6: Pre-Meeting Activities & Meeting Activities 45
Module 7: Decision Making Models 65
Module 8: Power Dynamics 73
Module 9: Facilitator Skills 79
Module 10: The Tool Box 89
Module 11: Dealing with Difficult Behaviors 97
Resources 105
Table of Contents
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Module 1: Styles of Relating
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Buffaloes, Beavers, Eagles and Mice...oh my!
Personal Style Inventory
Each line below lists two contrasting trait. Your task is to spread seven (7) points between the two state-
ments on each line to reflect the balance of how each describes you. Points may be spread in any way
you wish including the use of half points, but both sides together must add up to seven for the line. Give
high points to the choices that describe you well, while giving the other side lower points. For example,
people who see themselves as quick in the way they handle things may fill out the first line like this:
5___ Likes a fast pace or ___2__ Likes a slower, more deliberate pace
A
______ Likes a fast pace or
______ Energetic involvement in things or
______ Emphasis on action or
______ Like to influence people or
______ Like competitive activities or
______ Takes control of problems or
______ Tends to be impatient or
______ Expresses opinions openly or
_______ TOTAL FOR COLUMN A
B
______ Likes a slower, more deliberate pace
______ Relaxed involvement in things
______ Emphasis is on planning and thinking
______ Prefers to “live and let live”
______ Prefers casual, cooperative activities
______ Tries to let things work out
______ Shows a good deal of patience
______ Holds opinions to self
_______ TOTAL FOR COLUMN B
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______ Mild enjoyment of social events or
______ Most concerned about facts or
______ Controls emotions or
______ Likes to take independent actions or
______ Rational decision maker or
______ Conversations focus on tasks or
______ High concern for accomplishment or
______ High expectations for self and others or
_______ TOTAL FOR COLUMN 1
2
______ High enjoyment of social events
______ Most concerned about others feelings
______ Expresses emotions
______ Prefers to be part of team activities
______ Intuitive decision maker
______ Conversations have a people focus
______ High concern for emotional satisfaction
______ Easy going with self and others
_______ TOTAL FOR COLUMN 2
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Buffaloes, Beavers, Eagles and Mice...oh my!
THE FOUR BASIC STYLES
Now that you have completed the inventory, combine your highest score, either A or B, from the top section,
with your highest score, either 1 or 2, from the bottom section. This combination will represent your “style”
in the list below. Are you a BUFFALO, an EAGLE, a BEAVER or a MOUSE?
A &1—BUFFALO _______________________________________________
Achievement and goal oriented. Exerts a strong influence in getting things done. Assertive in
expression of ideas. Prefers being in charge. Has strong opinions. Bottom-line oriented.
Common strengths: determined, requiring, thorough, decisive, efficient, gets results, directs, takes charge,
gets it done.
Potential excesses: dominating, unsympathetic, demanding, critical, superior, loner, harsh, impatient, com-
bative.
A &2—EAGLE _______________________________________________
Expresses opinions and emotions easily. Is active and moves at a lively pace. Prefers strong
interaction with people. Usually has many interests. Tends to be image conscious.
Common strengths: personable, stimulating, enthusiastic, dramatic, inspiring, innovative, expresses easi-
ly, cheerleaders
Potential excesses: opinionated, excitable, undependable, phony, flighty, reactionary, exaggerates,
showoff
B &1—BEAVER _______________________________________________
Likes to be well organized and thought out. Prefers specific projects and activities that can be
systemically worked on. Enjoys putting structure to ideas. Thoughtful and careful with details.
Common strengths: industrious, persistent, serious, vigilant, orderly, rational, methodical, factual, thorough,
process oriented, linear
Potential excesses: indecisive, picky, cold, withdrawn, data-bound, uncommunicative, critical, unsympathetic
B & 2—MOUSE _______________________________________________
High concern for good relationship. Likes being part of cordial and friendly groups. Seeks stability and pre-
dictability. Stays out of the limelight. Wants to be a part of the bigger picture.
Common strengths: cooperative, supportive, friendly, willing, dependable, personable, sincere, helpful,
behind the scenes.
Potential excesses: conforming, retiring, uncommitted, overly sensitive, dependent, sarcastic, hides true
Most people have one style that are comfortable with and exhibit the majority of the time and a secondary “back-up’ style.
Of course, circumstances affect which style you exhibit and most people can move from one to another. And, if many
people in a group are the same personality style, people will change or adapt to fill the gaps.
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STYLES OF RESPONDING TO CONFLICT
Competing Collaboration
Scale of “Assertiveness” ¯
“Willingness to Talk”
Compromising
Behavior intended to meet
the needs of self
Avoiding Accommodating
Scale of “Cooperativeness”
“Willingness to listen”
Behavior intended to meet the needs of others
Adapted with permission from the Thomas Killman Model by the Dispute Resolution Center of Thurston County, 2003
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CONFLICT STYLES
The Dispute Resolution Center of Thurston County, 2003 Based on the work of Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilman, 1974
Style Characteristics
AVOID
• Party does not enter actively into conflict, is disengaged, apathetic, or withholds infor-mation. May leave the room or remain silent.
• Appropriate if one lacks power or is unsafe; issue is perceived as too painful or trauma-tizing, appropriate if issue is unsolvable or unimportant
• Inappropriate if issue or relationship with other party is important • Can cause significant interests to remain hidden and unresolved; can erode relation-
ships • Party needs safety and empowerment to enter actively into conflict
ACCOMMODATE
• Party is agreeable to solutions posed by others but unlikely to offer own; is everyone’s ally; may be passive in decision making but complains later.
• Appropriate if relationship is more important than the issue • Inappropriate if one’s own interests and values are important yet are sacrificed • Can cause one-sided outcomes and erode relationships • Party needs invitation to give input and needs assurance and recognition about the
value of their effort in maintaining the relationship
COMPROMISE
• Party likely to use give-and-take style, making offers and expecting equal return; tends to operate ’by the book’ and focus on precedents, focuses on expedience, and making a 50/50 deal
• Appropriate if the issue and relationship have medium importance • Inappropriate if the issue or relationship is too important to risk • Can cause important needs to remain unmet; outcomes can lack creativity • Party needs a sense of fairness in decision making
COMPETE
• Party has an all-or-nothing approach to conflict; is focused, persuasive and passionate about their interests; may out-power others to get own needs met
• Appropriate if the issue is more important than the relationship • Inappropriate if the relationship has significant value • Can cause one-sided outcomes and injure relationships • Party needs active input from others and assurance about importance of own needs
and perspectives
COLLABORATE
• Party approaches conflict as an opportunity to enhance relationships; tends to be crea-tive in achieving win-win solutions
• Appropriate if relationship and issue both are of significant importance • Inappropriate if there is insufficient time to process interests and needs; inappropriate
if other party is unable or unwilling to advocate for self and listen to others • Can build inclusive relationships, deeper understanding of issues and interests, and
innovative solutions • Party needs a process that includes the interests, feelings, needs, and values of all par-
ties when trying to come to resolution
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The Conflict Belief Cycle
CHOICE
self awareness
+ skills
+ choice
+ model
= opportunity for growth and change
Dispute Resolution Center of Thurston County, 2005
Conflict
Result
BELIEF
Response
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Module 2: Working with Groups
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INTERACTIONS WITHIN GROUPS
N = n (n-1)
KEY
N is the total number of two-person interactions possible at any given time within a group.
n is the total number of people in the group.
From Force Field Analysis by Kurt Lewin
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GROUP DEVELOPMENT AND TEAM BUILDING
Team Characteristics
Organizations often work very hard to train their leaders in the theories and skills for effective team leader-ship and management. Less attention is given to group participants and team members. The following char-acteristics are key to the effective team member:
Understands and is committed to group goals Is friendly, concerned, and interested in others
Acknowledges and engages with conflict openly Listens to others with understanding
Includes others in the decision-making process Recognizes and respects individual differences
Contributes ideas and solutions
Values the ideas and contribution of others Recognizes and rewards team efforts
Encourages and appreciates comments about team performance. Stages of Group Development
The following theories of group development are based loosely on Tuckman’s (1977) stages of group devel-opment. These are forming, storming, norming, performing, and adjourning. A summary of selected theo-ries are presented in Table 1.
Table 1. Models of Group Development
Another way of saying this is that groups go through stages of development where they work out, 1) who is in and who is out of the group, 2) who is dominant, who is not dominant, 3) what the group culture will look like, all before they get to doing the work of the group (4).
Models Stage One Stage Two Stage Three Stage Four Stage Five
Tuckman
(1965, 1977)
Forming Storming Norming Performing Adjourning
Bennis and Shepard (1956)
Dependence Counter de-pendence
Resolution Inter-dependence
Schutz
(1958, 1982)
Inclusion Control Openness/
affection
Control Inclusion
Bion (1961)
Dependency Fight/flight Pairing Work
Gibb (1964) Acceptance Data flow Goals and norms
Control
Yalom (1970) Orientation and hesitant participation
Conflict, domi-nance and re-bellion
Intimacy, closeness, and cohesiveness
Termination
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A New Model of Team Building, Table 2
The model presented here is sequential, developmental and thematic, as are most theories of group devel-opment. The model is sequential in that there are five stages that occur in order; each stage has a general theme that describes group activity. Theme activities are accomplished and problems are resolved at each stage before moving to the next stage. The model includes behaviors that are both task and relationship oriented and it reflects the characteristics of effective team members.
Table 2. A Model of Team Building
Excerpted from “A New Model of Team Building: A Technology for Today and Tomorrow by Chuck Kormanski and Andrew Mozenter. The 1987 Annual: Developing Human Resources, University Associates
Stage One Two Three Four Five
Theme
Awareness Conflict Cooperation Productivity Separation
Task outcome or process
Commitment Clarification Involvement Achievement Recognition
Relationship
Outcome
Acceptance Belonging Support Pride Satisfaction
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Group Member Functions
Work Functions: Behavior required for accomplishing group tasks
INITIATING: Proposing tasks, goals or actions Defining group problems Suggesting a procedure
INFORMING: Offering facts and information Giving expression of feelings, giving an opinion CLARIFYING: Interpreting ideas or suggestions Defining terms Clarifying issues before the group SUMMARIZING: Pulling together related ideas Restating suggestions Offering a decision or conclusion for the group to consider Sensing out loud the mood or interests of the meeting REALITY TESTING: Making critical analysis of an idea Testing an idea against some data or criteria Trying to see if the idea would work
Team Building Functions: Behavior required to achieve group cohesion and collaboration as a working unit
HARMONIZING: Attempting to reconcile disagreements and reducing tension Getting people to explore differences as well as common ground Addressing group needs GATE KEEPING: Helping to keep the communication channels open Facilitating the participation of others Suggesting procedures that permit sharing remarks and ideas Balancing air time of speakers CONSENSUS TESTING: Asking to see if a group is nearing a decision Sending up a “trial Balloon” to test a possible conclusion Summarizing common ground ENCOURAGING: Being friendly, warm and responsive to others Indicating by body language or remarks the acceptance of others’ contributions. COMPROMISING: Being willing to hear the others’ perspectives and allowing them to move you. Modifying individual ideas in the interest of group cohesion or growth When your own idea or status is involved in a conflict, offering a compromise which yields status Admitting error
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Module 3: Listening &
Surfacing Interests
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ISSUES AND INTERESTS
"Interest satisfaction leads to issue resolution."
Terms: Issues, Interests, Feelings, Positions Issues Interests* topics or problems the parties the underlying needs or values of say they want to deal with the parties the overt agenda the unstated agenda the substance of the dispute the essence of the dispute finite, measurable, tangible, specific not finite or measurable; intangible, general what drives or keeps parties apart what can bring parties together requires facilitator to be requires facilitator to be accurate and complete creative and sensitive "the tip of the iceberg" "the iceberg" NEGOTIABLE NON-NEGOTIABLE Feelings - expressions of emotion, fear, frustration, indignation, sadness, grief, etc. They are not interests, but rather how the interests present themselves. Name feelings. If you name it wrong, the person expressing the feeling will correct you. See “Feeling Vocabulary” handout. Positions - where the parties stand with respect to the issues. Positions are often made rigid by un-met interests or needs and thus prevent flexible negotiations. Surfacing interests opens up flexibility on positions. * Frequently elicited interests: safety fair treatment trust basic survival health/well being peace of mind self-respect "sanity" peace-and-quiet consistency dependability privacy good communication beauty-and-order respect for differences credibility connectedness
Dispute Resolution Center of Thurston County 2006
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REFRAMING, The Heart of Reconciliation and Mediation
A tool to use when someone says something very hurtful, blaming or attacking
We call it a reframe because you take something that someone has said and try to look at it from a slight-ly different angle, just like you put a frame around it and then turn it on its side. We use reframes when we need to feedback what we just heard someone say, but what they said was hurtful, blaming or attack-ing. Your goal with your feedback is to take the blame out first, and instead try to get at what the person needs or values. Reframes move people from a position of negative lack, to identifying a positive need.
REFRAMES….
Name a need or a value
Are stated in the positive (“you value your health” vs. “you don’t like being sick”)
Leave the other person out of the feedback
YOU COULD START YOUR FEEDBACK WITH:
“Sounds like you would really appreciate…..”
“I hear that you really value……”
By getting people to surface their values and needs, you allow them the opportunity to begin problem solving to meet needs. This gets them away from being positional, stuck, and blaming and can move them toward future thinking and collaboration for a common goal.
Example:
“He is such a two faced back stabber, always spreading rumors about other people!”
A reframe might be: “You work best when spoken to directly.”
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ACTIVE LISTENING IS….
ATTENDING
Giving non-verbal cues to show that you are paying attention
PACING
Matching the pace and energy of the speaker
REFLECTING
Saying back the factual and emotional content of what you heard
ACKNOWLEDGING
Showing that you really understand what they are experiencing….
Uses a feeling vocabulary
ACTIVE LISTENING IS NOT…..
X GIVING ADVICE
X AGREEING
X FIXING THE PROBLEM
X TELLING YOUR STORY or PREPARING YOUR STORY
X ASKING “WHY?”
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Module 4: Meeting Roles
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ROLE OF THE FACILITATOR
A neutral facilitator is a person who is not involved in the group’s issues and does not have an interest in the outcome. The facilitator works with the group participants and helps them to talk with each other so that they can come up with mutually satisfactory decisions.
Facilitators Do:
create a safe place to talk
help participants relax and feel comfortable
demonstrate active listening
provide a role model for good communication
help the participants define the issues in their own way
help the participants make an agenda and keep on track
help the participants talk about their feelings
help the participants, themselves, come up with a number of options for problem-solving
help the participants be realistic about decisions and proposed action
intervene when participants break the ground rules
Facilitators Don’t:
decide who is right and who is wrong
pass judgment or take sides
give advice or tell people what to do
come up with answers to a problem
ask “why?”
Dispute Resolution Center of Thurston County 6/04
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Difference between a facilitator, mediator and negotiator
A group facilitator is a person whose selection is acceptable to all the members of
the group, who is substantively neutral, and who has no substantive decision–
making authority, diagnoses and intervenes to help a group improve how it identi-
fies and solves problems and makes decisions, and is present to increase the
group’s effectiveness.
From Roger Schwarz ‘The Skilled Facilitator’
From The International Association of Facilitators webpage
http://www.iaf-world.org/index.aspx
A mediator has their own process, which parties in conflict go through, whereas
a facilitator may create the process WITH the clients/participants. Because with
conflict, structure is ultra-important, it creates higher safety and promotes more
trust. Mediators participate to resolve differences between parties.
Zena Zumeta, Ann Arbor Mediation Center
Negotiator: someone who confers with others in order to reach a settlement.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/negotiator
Each party in the dialogue tries to gain an advantage for themselves by the end of
the process.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negotiation
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FACILITATOR TIPS AND TECHNIQUES
Listen deeply. Hear the words, the tone of voice, the body language, the ambiguities and contra-dictions. Listen for what the other is saying rather than wait for the other to say what you want.
Watch the group dynamics. Who’s doing the talking, who has checked out? Where is the eye contact? What patterns are forming?
Pay attention to the humor. Is it healing, healthy and does it bring the group to new perspec-tives and improved communication? Or does it divide the group, increase the feeling of vulnera-bility and feel competitive cynical or sarcastic?
Ask for clarification. If what someone says is not clear to you, or could be interpreted in several ways, then it is likely others are having difficulty with it too.
Trust the collective wisdom. Human beings are innately self-organizing. Given the oppor-tunity and some simple guidance they will resolve the issue, find the answer, apply the learning.
Use your “ignorance” to ask the obvious questions. If you don’t understand a word, phrase, acronym, ask. It is likely others may not either.
When presenting information, ask for examples. This allows you to test comprehension and provides an opportunity for clarification.
Become comfortable with silence. It is a useful tool to give the group time to absorb an idea, introverts to formulate their response, and you to collect yourself.
Pay close attention to the questions you ask. Open-ended, inviting questions will expand group thinking and creativity. Closed-ended questions tend to stop or focus the dialogue. “Why” questions can be threatening if asked before there is a sense of group cohesiveness or security.
Use your body to focus the group’s attention. Move around but don’t pace. Position yourself where you want the group to focus. Move to the perimeter if you want participants to engage one another in dialogue. If conflict or tension arises, stand and move toward the center of the group to bring focus to you.
Be flexible. Facilitating is a very fluid process. Pay close attention to the group and be prepared to move with the group’s signals of readiness or resistance.
Take time to work through the resistance. Simply pushing against it may result in loss of trust in the facilitator and your ability to continue effectively facilitating may be greatly diminished.
Adapted from Nancy Tam Davis; Dispute Resolution Center 2013
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There are a number of ways that the role of facilitator can get out of hand or be used unfairly. Often this happens without either the group or the facilitator realizing it. It is your responsibility to prevent abuse of your position as a facilitator. Maintaining your integrity is significantly easier if you have thought through the following responsibilities.
CODE OF RESPONSIBILITIES: ETHICS FOR FACILITATORS
1. It is not enough that you yourself are striving for equality and cooperation. Most people are accustomed to participating in groups where one person acts as a leader and is treated as someone important, some-one with special power and wisdom. Unless the group understands your role, they will probably perceive of you as an authority and allow you to influence them too much. It is important for you to demystify your role by explaining exactly what a facilitator does, why they do it, and that when you intervene in the group’s process it is not because you dislike or are angry with someone, but simply that you are doing your job. This is called the facilitator’s disclaimer, so that when you do interrupt someone, you have a reference point to remind people that you interrupted in your role as a facilitator.
2. Even though you explain your role, you may find that people depend on you (“You’re such a good facilita-tor … I know I could never do that.”). They may give some of their power to you and look to you to make decisions, define situations, solve problems, etc. This is one of the strongest tests -- whether you accept and use this power or reflect back to the group the need to take responsibility for its own decisions. The temptation to use the power members give you to fill your own needs (increased self-esteem, manip-ulation of an issue for your own benefit, even the simple desire to finish with an issue and move on) will be strong. The fact that the group gave you their power is no excuse for you to accept it.
3. A similar potential for abuse comes from the fact that facilitators perform a subtle, non-directive role. The passive, friendly, well-meaning facilitator can manipulate people in ways that an aggressive, forceful lead-er could never get away with. The difference between manipulation and dictation may only be a matter of whether or not the group is aware that they are being controlled. It is your responsibility not to use the techniques of facilitation to control the group.
4. There are few external standards or governing bodies that ensure quality for facilitation. There are also many types of facilitation. Some people may call themselves a facilitator without any experience, skills or understanding of how groups work. (Note: On the job training, lived experience, formal and informal edu-cation are all valuable forms of skill and knowledge building.) Some people may also charge groups high fees and leave them with nothing of value. When charging others for facilitation, consider the partici-pants’ ability to pay and your cost/ ability to run the group. Be fair and ethical. Additionally, make sure you get fair pay for the value of your work.
5. Being a facilitator does not make you qualified to be a psychotherapist, either with a group or one on-one. Because facilitation involves focusing on human values, emotions, and personal experiences, facilita-tors are often seen as resources for personal psychological challenges. Group members sometimes reach out to facilitators, directly or indirectly, with their emotional needs. Be clear about your boundaries and what you can and cannot help with. Remember facilitators provide support and resources, they do not diagnose or do therapy.
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6. As a facilitator be wary of any expectations you may have to get your own emotional needs met by work-ing with groups. The nature of facilitating fosters mutual growth, however it is important to have your own self-care and self-awareness so that group members don’t feel like you are relying on them. Often in groups people develop one-sided perceptions of one another, resulting in intense interactions. If you as a facilitator become particularly involved with one or more participants, you may neglect others, or worse, be seen as an advocate of those you are involved with. This can be detrimental to the whole group. If you become more involved with one or more members in your group, maintain your neutrality during group meetings and carefully explain the difference in your behavior to those who may be ex-pecting you to act the same in group with them as you do outside of the group.
7. It is the facilitator’s responsibility to make sure the group understands what you are doing with them: what your purpose is, how your expect to meet their needs, what you can give them and how you are go-ing to do that. It is your responsibility to present yourself fairly, to be open to feedback from the group (you are there for their benefit), and to consider altering your approach to meet the group’s purpose and goals. It’s the group’s right to hold you accountable for what you do with them, just as it is your role to ensure that they too take responsibility for their actions in making the group a successful experience of everyone.
Code of Responsibilities: Ethics For Facilitators, July 11, 2011
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Meeting Roles
Time Keeper Responsibilities:
Track time as requested by Facilitator(s) May track time for agenda items, or length of individual speakers May give 1 minute warnings May be allowed to interrupt to keep process on time The Scribe Responsibilities:
To remain neutral and not participate in the content of the meeting To visibly capture the ideas and thoughts of the participants on big paper To write down the group’s ideas by using direct quotes or paraphrasing To ask the group to slow down if the scribe needs more time Scribing Tips:
To ask the group to slow down if the scribe needs more time Title your posters Alternate colors and write in large letters Use bullets instead of numbering to avoid implying priority Use commonly known abbreviations Use symbols for words like money ($), up (up arrow), down (down arrow) Use spacing (white space between items)
The Recorder Responsibilities:
To remain neutral and not participate in the content of the meeting To create written record of the meeting To feed back what has been decided, or the language of a proposal currently being discussed To record decisions and actions taken. WHO will do WHAT by WHEN and HOW? WHAT IF….? To ask the group to slow down if the recorder needs more time
The Group Member Responsibilities:
To show up To contribute ideas To be open and honest with concerns To actively listen to others To commit to following the process and working by the ground rules To self facilitate use of air time To strive for group unity and consider the good of the whole Other Roles
Agenda formation committee “Vibes Watcher” Advocate Spokesperson Committee conveners or chairs
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KEYS TO EFFECTIVE MEETINGS
An effective meeting has the following characteristics:
Desired Outcomes - The purpose is clear and agreed to.
Agenda - The group prepares and “owns” a clear process/content/time agenda.
"Right" People - The right people are assembled.
Appropriate Meeting Type - The type of meeting is known in advance and is clear.
Clear Roles - The participants know what is expected of them.
Clear Norms - The group takes responsibility for creating ground rules for behavior that will lead to productive discourse and decision-making.
Preparation - The participants, leaders, and presenters are well prepared.
Supportive Environment - The room and seating arrangement support the meeting's purpose.
Decision-Making Power - The power issues and decision-making procedures are explicit ahead of time.
Unbiased Leadership - The leader is perceived as fair, unbiased.
Good Faith - The participants are at the table in good faith (willing to listen, willing to consider all reasonable options without holding to a fixed position, and willing to put all relevant information on the table).
Total Involvement - The leader involves and fully utilizes all participants.
Right Conversations Take Place - The real issues are raised and dealt with honestly. Hidden agendas are legitimized and brought into the open.
Process Tools - The leader uses a wide repertoire of process tools to help the group achieve its ends.
Separating Dialog - Discussion and decision-making are separated.
Heterogeneity - The leader seeks out and respects different points of view.
Shared Responsibility - The participants take responsibility for the meeting's success.
Documentation - Record is maintained and distributed summarizing key discussions, information presented, or decisions.
Confidentiality - If any part of the content is confidential, participants leave the meeting with a clear understanding of what can and cannot be shared outside.
Evaluation - The meeting ends with process analysis, and the meeting participants
agree that the meeting was productive and a good use of their time.
Follow-up - The group assigns accountability (who/what/when) and clearly establishes
action items.
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Types of Meetings
Purpose of Meeting
Process Terms Need for Facilitator Need for Recorder
Information sharing Present Discuss Clarify Update
Minimal, maybe for questions and answers
Probably not
Reaction, review, seeking input or feed-back
Discuss Suggest Analysis
Maybe Yes
Problem Solving Problem solving tools: Define Info gathering Discuss Brainstorm Evaluate Select viable solutions
Yes Yes
Decision Making Problem solving tools Consensus Voting
Yes Yes
Planning
Assignment timeline Yes Yes
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FOUR COMPONENTS OF ANY EFFECTIVE MEETING
REACHING PROCESS AGREEMENTS
GATHERING INFORMATION
EXPLORING OPTIONS
REACHING SUBSTANTIVE AGREEMENTS
Satisfaction Triangle
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EFFECTIVE MEETINGS MODEL
PRE-MEETING ACTIVITIES
Identify purpose and focus of meeting; On-going group or one-time or one-topic forum?
Clarify your role and the groups needs and expectations of the facilitator
Identify any preexisting decision-making methodology
Identify any preexisting mechanism for agenda formation
Identify materials and supplies needed; arrange for room set-up
Identify and make sure all appropriate stakeholders are informed and invited to meeting If possible/relevant, interview stakeholders prior to the first meeting to establish rapport and:
►assess for issues, interests, obstacles, power dynamics, conflict, buy-in, good faith, shared goals, areas of common ground, desire for group cohesiveness
►assess for systemic barriers and/or support MEETING ACTIVITIES Process Agreements
Define your role for the group and establish or identify other roles as needed
Mention the time frame for the meeting
Identify and orient participants to the context for the meeting
Help the participants to create and agree on ground rules for collaborative discussion
Lead the participants in establishing a process for collaborative decision-making ►If consensus is established as the mode, give clear guidelines for using the model ►May agree to tools like “Thumbs”, Red/yellow/green Cards, 5 fingers to test for consensus ►Talk about unity vs. unanimity, and the “good enough” principle
Agenda Formation and Prioritization
The agenda may be developed and circulated in advance. Review and ask for any changes or additions. (recommended)
May propose an agenda from information gathered at intake. Review and ask for any changes or additions.
In the absence of prior agenda development, have people briefly share a list of items that need to be addressed by the group. Record issues and interests on big paper as each person speaks. Ask the group to generate an “issues” agenda out of what they have said/heard.
Prioritize and assign time limits as needed.
Addressing the Agenda Items
Start with first item and welcome any new information needed prior to full discussion
Open up floor of the meeting for a focused discussion
Lead the group in brainstorming and other creative techniques for exploring options
Help the group develop a list of standards/criteria that need to be met for viable options
Facilitate consensus decision-making after an issue has been fully explored. Work toward durable agreements: WHO will do WHAT by WHEN, WHAT IF…?
Next Steps
Establish next steps, follow-up meetings, homework, notes, and dissemination of information
Address issues of confidentiality raised by participants. How shall reporting out occur? Meeting Evaluation
Use written, verbal or other means of meeting evaluation
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Module 5 & 6:
Pre-Meeting & Meeting Activities
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LEVELS OF CONFLICT
How inflamed is the conflict? Note distortions in thinking. Usually strong emotion means more in-tense conflict and more irrational thinking. Also look for clues in what the disputants say they want to see happen.
Level 1. People seem generally rational, open and collaborative. Nothing has been person-alized - taken personally.
Level 2. There is more concern. People are not too specific. There is much vagueness and self-protection.
Level 3. It's a win/lose fight with distorted thinking and language. Communications have deteriorated. Personal attacks are starting and coalitions are forming.
Level 4. A fight is turning into a battle to win. Relationships are broken. There is a need to humiliate the opponent. There have been clear factions formed with much bitterness and distrust.
Level 5. This is riot time. Feelings of wanting to hurt someone appear. Any means justifies the ends. Ugly, irrational, out of control.
If there seems to be a mix of levels, when breaking into small work groups, be sure to mix and match levels, trying to isolate a 4 or 5 person who might derail a small group. Be sure all factions are represented. Try for consensus.
AREAS OF CONFLICT
1. Interpersonal Problems: These can often be isolated from the larger group and facilitat-ed in pairs or through mediation.
2. Issues Conflicts: These can be facilitated with large group problem solving methods. They are usually amenable to rational processes. If there is much black and white thinking, work the group to find common ground and clarify and normalize expectations.
3. Values and Beliefs Conflicts (where there are strong underlying Interests): These can only be acknowledged and managed, not mediated or solved. Again, manage expecta-tions.
4. Systemic Problems: The group has no good processes, structures, protocols, etc. Use problem-solving methods as in #2 above.
Adapted from The Alban Institute presentation, "ADR in Religious Communities," Speed Leas, Terry Fulford, Senior Consultants
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BOUNDARY MANAGEMENT Who makes the decisions?
Inner Box: Decisions team can make now
Middle Box: Decisions the team may make in the future
Inside the Outer Box: Decisions that belong to management
Outside the Outer Box: Outer limits, not to be transgressed
Limits may be defined by board, management or by team as a whole.
Where would you put these?
Budget
Safety guidelines
Ethics
Job descriptions
Communication
Legal parameters
Organizational Values
Mission
Vision
Meeting times
What else?
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Analyzing Room Arrangements
Using the diagram above, indicate on the line which room arrangements:
Suggest “we talk, you listen, or “you talk, we listen”
Imply that participation and/or input is welcomed and needed
Will allow for maximum interaction between the most people in the
shortest amount of time
Will afford a heckler the largest audience
Foster engagement between diverse or polarized interests
Will allow input from all participants on an equal level
Will allow a maximum quantity of information to be presented in a short
amount of time
Will ensure that everyone has the same information
Requires reporting back to the whole group
Contributes to group unity and team building
Fosters collaborative decision-making
In what way do the arrangements of the room affect the kind of interaction and communication that takes
place in a meeting?
Adapted from materials developed by McDonald Communications
A. Committee
B. Auditorium
C. Meeting Room
D. Banquet Style
TIPS: Face away from doors and windows Avoid “energy holes”.
Empty chair = energy hole
Begin with too few seats rather than too many.
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Sample Ground Rules Please share from your own experience
Speak with courtesy and compassion
Speak to the questions posed
Share time: Be brief and concise in your statements
Each person has the right to be heard with respect Each person has the right to be silent and to pass
Show each speaker that you are listening well
Be willing to be moved by what you hear
Defer to your group facilitator for process guidance
Any others?
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Generating a List of Ground Rules
There are several effective ways to create ground rules or norms. If time is an issue, as it tends to be in short workshops, it may be necessary for you simply to list the ground rules for the group. Be sure to inquire whether the ground rules are agreeable and mention that if you had more time to-gether, you would have preferred the group to generate the list.
A second way to create ground rules is to list those rules you commonly use, then ask for additional ground rules from the participants. When somebody proposes a ground rule, ask the other partici-pants if they agree to it. If most do, add it to the list.
The best way to create ground rules, if you have the time, is to allow the participants to generate the entire list. Ask them to think about what they, as individuals, need to ensure a safe environment to discuss difficult and controversial issues. If the participants are having difficulty coming up with ground rules, or if they do not come up with a particular ground rule you feel is important to the suc-cess of your facilitation, try to prompt them toward it. If they still do not mention it, you can add it to the list.
Guide for Setting Ground Rules
Whenever you hope to facilitate conversations...a vital first step is the develop-ment of guidelines for participation. These guidelines, often referred to as "ground rules" or "community norms," should provide the community within a workshop or class a framework to ensure open, respectful dialogue and maxi-mum participation.
Examples of Widely Used Ground Rules
Ground rules should be developed and adapted for every unique context. Appropriate ground rules may depend partially on age, region, and other contextual factors. The following list of com-mon ground rules from equity, diversity, and social justice related classes and workshops should serve only as a starting point for your process of creating a similar list suitable to your own situa-tion:
1. Listen actively -- respect others when they are talking. 2. Speak from your own experience instead of generalizing ("I" instead of "they,"
"we," and "you"). 3. Do not be afraid to respectfully challenge one another by asking questions, but
refrain from personal attacks -- focus on ideas. 4. Participate to the fullest of your ability -- community growth depends on the in-
clusion of every individual voice. 5. Instead of invalidating somebody else's story with your own spin on her or his
experience, share your own story and experience. 6. The goal is not to agree -- it is to gain a deeper understanding. 7. Be conscious of body language and nonverbal responses -- they can be as
disrespectful as words.
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More Sample Ground rules… Choose 5-7 ground rules with or for a group
Everyone participate, no one dominate Share the airtime Success depends on participation – share ideas, ask questions, draw others out Listen to understand Use I statements Listen for the future to emerge One speaker at a time Seek unity (not separation) Disagree without being disagreeable Share your unique perspective Share your experience (not others) Speak honestly Stay open to new ways of doing things All ideas are valid Critique ideas, not people Be positive, non-judgmental and open to new ideas Stay at the strategic level (out of the operational) Everything happens through conversation Meaning is in the listener Listen from the “We” but speak from the “I” Respect each others’ thinking and value their contributions Listen for understanding – inquire (ask) before you advocate (persuade) Be aware of meaningless abstraction Treat everything you hear as an opportunity to learn and grow Articulate hidden assumptions Challenge cherished beliefs With transformation, expect anxiety Manage group work Show up and CHOOSE to be present Staying on schedule is everyone’s responsibility; honor time limits State your “headline” first, then the supporting information as necessary Be brief and meaningful when voicing your opinion Speak your truth, without blame or judgment Be intrigued by the difference you hear Expect to be surprised Allow ever voice to be heard Let go of the outcome Whatever is said in the room stays in the room Ask “what’s possible?” not “what’s wrong”? Keep asking Listen with care instead of “building your story” Participate 100% Seek common ground and understanding (not problems and conflict) “Yes…and” thinking (not, “Yes…but”) Stay out of the weeds and the swamps Listen for the future to emerge Have fun!
http://getthepicture.ca/a-list-of-ground-rules-for-effective-meetings/
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Simple Ground Rules
Participate
Pass
Listen & be Heard
Confidentiality
Ask Questions
Any Others?
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GENERIC AGENDA FOR FACILITATED MEETINGS
1. Introductions and Welcome
2. Facilitator Remarks and Ground Rules, Roles
3. Review Meeting Outline (items 4-9 below)
4. Review any agreements, accomplishments, homework from prior meetings, Committee Reports (if applicable)
5. Agenda Building and/or Review of Agenda, Prioritization and
Time Allotment
6. Addressing Agenda Items
Collecting/Processing Information
Exploring/Identifying Options
Evaluating Options
Decision-Making
Task Assignment and Follow-up
7. Next Steps, Roles for Next Meeting
8. Evaluation of Meeting
9. Adjourn
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PROPOSED STAFF MEETING AGENDA FOR: ______________________________ Date:_________
Introduction/Assignments of Roles Agenda Review Brief Check-in Review of Last Meeting Minutes Announcements
Old Business: (includes committee reports)
New Business:
Items carried over from last meeting:
New items:
Items Tabled to Next Meeting:
Follow-up Tasks (who will do what by when and how?):
Meeting Evaluation Date and Time of Next Meeting: Assignment of Roles for Next Meeting- Facilitator(s): Recorder:
Topic Name Type of Item Time needed
(Person presenting item) (Reports, discussion or action item)
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Chart adapted from Daniel Yankelovich, The Magic of Dialogue (1999)
Debate vs. Dialogue
Debate Dialogue
Assuming that there is one right answer and that you have it
Assuming that many people have pieces of the answer and that only together can they craft a
solution
Combative: participants attempt to prove the other side wrong
Collaborative: participants work together to-ward common understanding
About winning
About learning
Listening to find flaws and make counterarguments
Listening to understand and find meaning
Defending assumptions as truth
Revealing assumptions for reevaluation
Critiquing the other side’s position
Re-examining all positions
Defending one’s own views against those of others
Admitting that others’ thinking can improve one’s own
Searching for flaws and weaknesses in other po-sitions
Searching for strengths and value in others’ po-sitions
Seeking a conclusion or vote that ratifies your position
Discovering new opinions, not seeking closure
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EXPLORING OPTIONS
Various tools and skills are used to help a group explore options, depending on the needs of the discussion:
BRAINSTORMING - a way to generate many creative ideas
goal is to generate as many ideas as possible give the group a few minutes of quiet time to think first and then start around the group giv-
ing each an opportunity eventually “green light” the process and open it up for anybody to speak whenever they
have an idea keep the group from evaluating until all ideas are listed encourage wild and crazy ideas key off of each others’ ideas to come up with more be willing to wait through the lull that is bound to come - ideas get even more creative after
the lull list on butcher paper as ideas are generated and number the items as you record for ease
of later discussion once list generated take time to eliminate duplications and to give people an opportunity to
ask questions about the items
PRIORITIZING - once ideas are generated use some method to prioritize
Have each person note their highest priorities by asking them to move up to the list and mark them using bright colored sticky dots or bright colored markers; ask each person to mark a third of the number of items listed. This process will reduce the number of items to a more manageable list to discuss and evaluate.
NOMINAL GROUP TECHNIQUE - another method to reduce the list to the top 4 to 6 items without going through what may be a painful process of evaluation where those who offered the ideas may feel personally attacked by comments made:
After duplications are eliminated and questions answered:
1. 1st round - ask each person to circle (vote for) as many of the ideas as they want (but only once per item) - the ones they think will most effectively address the issue being discussed.
2. Count the items that at least half of the group members circled.
3. 2nd round - each person gets to vote the number of times equal to one-half the cir-cled items and vote only on the circled items.
4. Count, from this second vote, those items that received vote from half or more of the persons
5. Continue multivoting until the list is reduced to 4 to 6 items
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CRITERIA
Sometimes ideas need to be compared to a list of criteria that must be met for an idea or solu-tion to be acceptable. Facilitate the group to develop such a list which might include items such as:
cost effective/affordable workable/practical
legal safe
mutually beneficial fair/equitable
understandable/simple flexible
ethical reliable
consistent others?
STRUCTURING THE DISCUSSION
As humans we often have the tendency to look at a proposal and automatically see the nega-tive and then tear it apart. A facilitator can help the group have a balanced discussion by struc-turing the conversation:
1. First ask “What are the advantages, positives, pluses of this proposal” and write them up on the butcher paper.
2. Then ask “What would you change and how would you change it?” and write up on paper.
3. Then ask “What would you add and how would you add it?” and write up on paper.
This process allows people to respond to the positive aspects of the proposal and does not give the opportunity for complaining without also providing solutions. These questions can also be used in a setting where people are discussing problems without having any proposals in front of them to evaluate.
SMALL GROUP WORK - dividing into small groups to work together
With a large group, breaking the participants down into small work groups allows for all to be more involved in the work of the group. When using this technique:
Be very clear with your instructions for the work assignment; don’t let the people begin to move until you finish giving instructions.
Ask each group to appoint a recorder who will report out to the larger group and a facilitator to keep the group working on the assignment.
Think about the purpose of breaking the group down - do you want people who agree on an issue to work together or people who disagree on an issue?
Monitor the time and let the group know periodically how much time they have left.
Bring the groups back together and have the recorder report their group’s discussion. Rec-ord the group reports if helpful.
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ASKING QUESTIONS
Since part of the facilitator’s job is to keep the group moving forward and keep the meeting on track, you may need to ask questions to keep the group focused:
Is this discussion helping you?
That seems to be another subject, does it need to be part of this discussion?
Rather than moving in that direction, can we finish with this issue first and then come back to it?
You have X minutes left today. What do you want to do with that time?
Are there pieces of these issues that must be decided today?
What happens if you can’t get all of this done today?
What are your next steps?
This is taking more time than we planned for. What is the sense of the group at this point? Should we table this item or should we table the rest of the items on the agenda?
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Reprinted from Manage Your Meetings: The Interaction Approach,
Interaction Associates http://interactionassociates.com
Evaluating Process and Participation
One of the most effective procedures for improving the productivity and satisfaction of any meeting is to use one or more of the available procedures for helping the group review their own working process and make decisions about ways they would like to make their work more satisfying and productive.
Such “process checks” may take no more than 10 minutes, and the saving is many times this. Here are four ways used most frequently to review the work process.
1. A “stop session” tool is used to help a group quickly collect data on how they are doing and to make decisions about what improvements they would like to make. See samples on the next page.
2. When the agenda is developed, an item about mid-point is entitled “taking a look at how we are doing”. The facilitator asks the group to share diagnoses and help with ideas for im-provement.
3. An outside consultant, or a member of the group is asked to serve as a process observer and to make observations when he or she sees an opportunity to make comments that will help the group become aware of the blocks in communications or possible alternative pro-cedures that might be helpful.
4. An end-of-meeting oral evaluation or feedback instrument that permits participants to give reactions to the meeting as a basis for improving the process for next session.
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Sample Stop-Action Tools
These can be done in writing or verbally,
Brief Stop Action Check
To help improve our productivity:
1. How do you feel about how you are being listened to?
Very Satisfied Fairly Satisfied Just So-so Somewhat Dissatisfied
2. How fully do you think you have been listening to and using the ideas of others?
Very Fully Pretty Well Not too Well Quite Poorly
Please comment on why you checked where you did:
3. Please share your writing with the group and agree on an idea or two on how you might improve the group’s work as you continue.
Communication and Group Productivity check
1. What barriers to communication, if any, seem to be operating in this meeting (Please name one or more and be specific about a behavior, not a person)
2. What can be done to improve group productivity? (list one or more ideas).
Please share your thoughts on the two above questions and decide what the group might do to im-
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Sample Meeting Evaluation Tool
Meeting Evaluation Your evaluation will help in the design of future meetings. Please take a few minutes to fill out this form. Any additional comments are very welcome. Process Did you feel safe expressing your opinions? Yes Mostly Some No Comments: Did you feel heard? Yes Mostly Some No Comments: Did the process seem: Too controlled About right Not controlled enough? Comments: Did this facilitation meet your expectations? Yes Mostly Some No Please tell us why: Was the process appropriate for this group/issue? Yes Mostly Some No Please tell us why: Please rate each of the following:
excellent good fair poor
Facilitators:
Preparation………………………………… 4 3 2 1 Organization………………………………. 4 3 2 1 Neutrality………………………………….. 4 3 2 1 Response to questions …………………….. 4 3 2 1 Kept group on task………………………… 4 3 2 1
Facility/Room set-up:
Accessible…………………………………. 4 3 2 1 Seating invited group participation……….. 4 3 2 1
Visual aids were useful and effective……... 4 3 2 1
What worked well that you saw the facilitators do?
What would you do differently and how would you do it?
Other comments?
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GROUP MEMBER MEETING EVALUATION
5= Fully agree 1 = Do not agree at all
The facilitator(s) helped our group to:
1. Use everyone as a resource 5 4 3 2 1 2. Use our time effectively 5 4 3 2 1 3. Make good use of the information available 5 4 3 2 1 4. Adhere to our agreed-upon rules 5 4 3 2 1 5. Keep clear and focused on our task 5 4 3 2 1 6. Keep clear about our responsibilities 5 4 3 2 1 7. Clarify the steps we need for a plan of action 5 4 3 2 1 8. Stay conscious of the process we agreed to 5 4 3 2 1 9. Get back on track when we wandered 5 4 3 2 1 10. Keep our inputs relevant 5 4 3 2 1 11. Keep our inputs concrete 5 4 3 2 1 12. Keep our inputs future oriented 5 4 3 2 1 13. Communicate respectfully with one another 5 4 3 2 1 14. Get sufficient information when needed 5 4 3 2 1 15. Explore alternative fully before deciding 5 4 3 2 1 16. Value divergent thinking and minority views 5 4 3 2 1 17. Feel safe and valued as individuals 5 4 3 2 1 18. Get educated about group process skills 5 4 3 2 1 19. Develop and maintain our group memory 5 4 3 2 1 20. Be positive and hopeful about outcomes 5 4 3 2 1
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Module 7:
Decision Making Models
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Roberta's Rules of Order
SURVIVAL TIPS
We must learn to run a meeting without victimizing the audience; but more importantly, without being vic-
timized by individuals who are armed with parliamentary procedure and a personal agenda.
-CA State Association of Parlimentarians
Survival Tips on Parliamentary Procedure are based on Robert's Rules of Order.
Six Steps to Every Motion!
Every motion requires 6 steps (with some exceptions ).
The shoulds and shouldn'ts are as follows: (RONR(10th ed.),p.31-54)
STEP 1. A member stands up, is recognized, and makes a motion;
Common Mistake: Members do not stand up, do not wait to be recognized, and typically start to discuss their
motion before completing STEP 2, STEP 3, and STEP 4 below!
STEP 2. Another member seconds the motion;
Common Mistake: The person seconding the motion dives into the merits of the motion.
STEP 3. The presiding officer restates the motion to the assembly;
Common Mistake: Motion is restated differently from the wording of the maker! Beware because the motion
that is adopted is the one stated by the presiding officer, not the one stated by the maker of the original mo-
tion.
STEP 4. The members debate the motion;
Common Mistake: Debate gets out of control in temper, in duration, in relevance! Members talk at each oth-
er across the room rather than through the presiding officer.
STEP 5. Presiding officer asks for the affirmative votes & then the negative votes;
Common Mistake: The presiding officer states 'All in favor' and fails to tell the members what to do as a
matter of voting (for example, 'say aye', 'stand up', 'raise your hand', etc.); or the negative vote is never re-
quested or counted!
STEP 6. The presiding officer announces the result of the voting; instructs the cor
responding officer to take action; and introduces the next item of business. Com-
mon Mistake: Presiding officer fails to pronounce the result of the voting! No one is
instructed to take action. Commonly, dead silence follows because the presiding
officer is lost and stares at the assembly.
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CONSENSUS VS. MAJORITY RULE DECISION MAKING A comparison of 2 very different models
Consensus Majority Rule
Mode: Collaborative and Cooperative Competitive (exploring together) (persuading to convince) Focus: Needs Based Solution Based Solution: Synthesis By vote Result: 10 co-creators / winners 6 winners 4 losers Disseminate information to others and assign tasks Action: Do the tasks Do the tasks Quit? Put down
Undermine Wait and See “Disgruntled Minority” Group Outcome: “United We Stand” “Divided We Fall” Key Underpinnings of Consensus: “A patient search for unity beneath diversity”- Quiet Rebels
A truly democratic process, everyone’s voice is heard
Diversity broadens the base. Differences are welcomed and seen as contributing stability and breadth.
The process is creative: An emergence of a “third way” vs. competing or compromising on existing solu-tions. Avoids polarization by addressing needs
Decisions are a synthesis of everyone’s ideas that meet the goals of the group.
Decisions have more buy-in and are met with better follow-through.
Consensus seeks unity vs. unanimity.
Consensus is not just a method of decision-making, it is a method of thinking.
“The means are the ends in the making.” - M. Gandhi Consensus requires knowledge of the process, and good self monitoring and facilitation When don’t you want to use consensus?
When there is no desire for group unity
When there are no good choices
When it’s bogged down in minutia, like working out specific wording→ send to committee
When the group has insufficient information
When the issue is trivial, flip a coin.
When there is a life threatening emergency The Dispute Resolution Center of Thurston County, 2006
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CONSENSUS MEETING PROCESS, Step-by-Step
Problem stated and defined Discussion
Proposal Clarifying Questions
Discussion Modifications or withdrawal of proposal
Test for Consensus 1.Restate Proposal 2.Call for Reservations 3.Call for Stand Asides or Abstaining 4.Call for Blocks 5.Address Blocks 6.Consensus is either achieved or not 7.Implementation and Follow-up
FORMING THE CONSENSUS PROPOSAL: After discussing a problem from all of the various viewpoints, a proposal for resolution is put forward
that meets the needs and goals of the group or organization. Proposals may be submitted after group discussion at one meeting and in advance of a decision-making meeting, allowing members to come pre-pared to the meeting.
Clarifying questions Discussion of the Proposal The group may suggest modifications, “friendly amendments” or withdraw the proposal Sense of meeting, summarizing, restating, straw polls using thumbs, five fingers, cards
TEST FOR CONSENSUS: 1. Restate proposal 2. Call for concerns or reservations
“I think this may not be the best solution because…, but I can live with it.” 3. Ask if anyone is “Standing Aside” (abstaining)
“I personally can’t do this, but I won’t stop the group from doing it.” 4. Call for blocks “I cannot support this nor allow the group to do this because it is harmful or damaging to
the group or our mission and goals.” 5. Attempt to incorporate blocks 6. If unable to incorporate blocks, decision does not go forward.
or, if no blocks or the group is able to resolve blocks, consensus is achieved. “We believe this decision is in the best interest of the group and is in keeping with our mission and goals. It satisfies well enough the concerns of the whole group”
7. Decision implemented, assign tasks, timelines, reporting out. “Who will do What by When and How?” “What if...?”
Obviously if many people express non-support or reservations, stand aside or leave the group, it may not be a viable decision, even if no-one directly blocks it. This is what is known as “Lukewarm” Consensus, and it is just as desirable as a lukewarm beer or bath.
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Straw Polls: Getting a “Sense of the Meeting”
THUMBS
Thumbs up: “I support it fully!” Thumbs sideways: “I have concerns but can live with the group’s decision” Thumbs down: “I block the decision. Here are my reasons, and here is another idea
to keep the discussion going.”
INTERFAITH WORKS DECISION CARDS FOR CONSENSUS
Green = Support Yellow = Neutral Yellow + Red = Mild opposition Red = Full opposition- Red means that this decision goes against your faith-based values
Time a “Sunset Review” based upon on how lukewarm the decision was….
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Five Finger Straw Poll
I will give the decision my full support
I will support the decision, but I have some concerns
I will go along with the decision, but do not actively support it
I can’t support the decision
I will actively work against the decision
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Module 8:
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POWER: the ability to influence others.
There are many sources of power, from brute force to love.
social power role-related power
personal power power behaviors
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When a cultural event occurs….
Unique, Outside of the norm
Acceptable
Unacceptable
Aberrant/criminalX
Culture: What a group of people share around history, norms, expectations, values, language, and shared attribution. If 30% of a group of people do or believe something, it is considered a cultural pattern.
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STRATEGIES FOR BALANCING POWER
Model respectful behavior and teamwork Make sure needed information is on the table and fully shared Help parties to take the time to really hear one another. Slow down the process as needed. Help parties to create a self-perception of collaboration; May look at the problem from a systems per-
spective Help the parties to focus on the future: Where do they want to go from here? Focus on interests; use reframing to identify needs and values Ensure equal airtime and attention Stop intimidating and belittling comments/behavior Remind parties of good faith and ground rules Stress common ground and notice when progress is made. Empower the parties to identify what they themselves can each do to solve the problem Help them make offers: OPTIONS: “Only Proposals That Include Others’ Needs Succeed”. Reality test/create doubt Use silence Introduce homework/information gathering
Call a break to give a little space or to consult
Call a caucus or private meeting
To vent feelings To assess interests
To help parties develop strategies To find hidden agendas or facts To increase client’s confidence To coach
Be prepared to withdraw services if power imbalance is too great
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Module 9:
Facilitator Skills
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Cultural Humility
“Its okay to disagree, it’s more challenging to listen when there is shame, blame or attack; what do you most want the other person to understand?”
“What would it take for you to believe that what she is saying is true?”
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FACILITATION: BASIC COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Active Listening is the most basic communication tool. It is made up of four parts.
Attending involves non-verbal responses that show the speaker that you are tracking and paying close attention. Eye contact and body posture are important components. The use of "I see," "uh huh,” etc. are also very important in letting the speaker know you are tracking.
Pacing includes paying attention to individual’s pace and time requirements for processing new infor-mation, speaking and responding, and the amount of time they naturally pause between speakers. It is often easy for one party to “run over” someone else just by having a faster style of communication. The facilitator’s role is to find a middle ground approach to matching the pace and energy of each participant. Reflecting is the act of saying back the factual and emotional content of what you just heard. It can be an actual mirror of the participant's words or a close variation so as not to seem to "parrot". Sometimes it helps to say “You said….” To make it clear that you are reflecting back the views and thoughts of the par-ty, not your own.
Participant: "I've called the Dean's office every day for the last three weeks! I know she's on cam-pus. I've seen her!"
Facilitator: "You've been calling her office daily for several weeks. You said that you are sure she is around because you've seen her."
Acknowledging is showing the participants that you notice and understand the emotional content of what they just said. It is not the same as agreeing with their perspective nor is it telling them that their experience is “right”. Some people have a processing style that emphasizes thinking and reasoning about their experience while others are more emotionally engaged; acknowledging their experience is equally important for people with either style.
Participant: "I'm the best builder around for 30 years, and now I'm about to be a test case for some absurd new nonsensical guidelines for these plans I've submitted!"
Facilitator: "You see your experience being disregarded and feel angry about being singled out."
Acknowledging can also be used effectively to affirm someone’s experience, before asking for a change in behavior.
Facilitator: “Joe, I can tell by your restlessness that you are probably feeling really frustrated with the pace of this part of the meeting. I want to ask you to bear with us for just a few more minutes, and then you will have an opportunity to talk about what is important to you. Will that work for you?”
Active listening is NOT….. giving advice, agreeing with the parties, fixing the problem or moving into problem solving and offering solu-tions, telling your story or preparing your response, or asking judgmental questions like asking “Why?”
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Communication Skills for Forward Movement Questioning is another basic facilitation tool. During any meeting, used effectively, questioning can be used to further clarify information, to help participants think more expansively, to narrow the focus of the discussion, or to probe more deeply. There are two types of questions:
Open-ended questions invite the participant to provide more information, explore an issue, discover an underlying need, or expand options for a proposal or solution. They are meant to be expansive and give rein to the speaker.
Participant: "I hate that she never backs me up in front of the other staff." Facilitator: “What would it look like for her to back you up?”
Closed-ended questions help the facilitator focus the participant on a specific item. They require only a yes or no, or one word response. They help the facilitator retain control of the line of thought. They hone in on specific options, narrow the focus of discussion, and are not expansive. If overused they can cause people to become defensive.
Participant: "I was trying to keep him quiet."
Facilitator: "Did that work?"
Clarifying and Summarizing help the facilitator keep track of the chronology of events and the most important details. It also helps the participant feel understood and organized about what was said or where they are in the process.
Facilitator Clarification: "Let me see if I understand. Did you say....?"
Facilitator Summary: "I have a sense that there is a lot of agreement in the
first four areas, and that what you still need to work on is this last item. Am I right?” Normalizing helps people to feel like what they are feeling and experiencing is normal. It can also help manage participants’ expectations of themselves or the process.
Participant: "I am so exhausted, I can’t even think straight anymore.”
Facilitator: "This has been a really long meeting. I can imagine that everyone is probably getting overwhelmed and tired.”
Common ground statements point out commonalities and help the participants begin to see challenges to for-ward progress as something they have in common and something they can face all together. Identifying com-mon needs can be the first step in fostering collaboration between the participants.
Facilitator: "I'm hearing that all of you care a lot about the seminar. In the past it sounds like you've all devoted time and energy to keep it vibrant. It sounds like you all also still have an in-vestment in continuing. I see these as common interests."
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Reframing is a tool you can use when someone says something very hurtful, blaming or attacking. We call it a reframe because you take something that someone has said and try to look at it from a slightly different an-gle, just as if you had put a frame around it and then turn it on its side. It is more than just redirecting the person. Your goal with your feedback is to take the blame out first, and instead try to get at what that person needs or values. Reframes move people from a position of negative lack and blame, to identifying a positive need.
Reframes name a need or a value
Are stated in the positive (“you value your health” vs. “you don’t like being sick”) They leave the other people out of the feedback By getting people to surface their values and needs, you allow them the opportunity to begin problem solv-ing together meet needs. This gets them away from being positional, stuck, and blaming and can move them toward future thinking and collaboration for a common goal. You could start your reframe with:
“Sounds like you need…..” “I hear that you really value……” “You appreciate it when…”
“You work best when….” “It’s important to you that….”
Participant: “He is such a two faced back stabber, always spreading rumors about other peo-ple!” Facilitator: “You really appreciate it when people talk to you face to face”.
or Participant: “I told him five times I'd have the equipment back to AV by Wednesday and he plays dumb. He drives me crazy!"
Facilitator: "It sounds like it's very important to you that your word is acknowledged and respect-ed."
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Communication Skills for Negotiations Fractionalizing and Prioritizing means taking the subject at hand and breaking it down into smaller more man-ageable pieces and then prioritizing where to start the discussion. It simply slows down the interchange so that everyone can deal with one piece of the puzzle at a time.
Facilitator: "Let's stop for a moment and talk about this concern you have about the backlog of work your team still needs to address. Then we can talk about that comment you took offense to. Is that OK with you?"
Role Reversal is used to help each participant move out of his or her own perspective and imagine
what things might look like for the other person. The Facilitator accomplishes this by asking gentle
questions.
Facilitator: “What do you think might be going on for the other party? What might be
prompting her reactions to your input? How do you think she sees the situation? I wonder
if there is a way to say that so that she can hear you without having her buttons pushed.”
Role Reversal can also be done in a more formal way by asking each party to repeat back what the other party has said. Requesting the parties to use this listening skill (reflecting) with each other can point out the level of listening that is NOT happening, as well as uncover misunderstandings based on limited listening and assump-tions. In order to keep power and airtime balanced, formal role reversal should be used with all parties involved in the misunderstanding or conflict. Confrontation is used to point out discrepancies in the participant's thinking or behavior. Confrontation is most effective when done gently and with compassion. It is not intended to humiliate or belittle the parties. Both of the following techniques help to cast doubt on the veracity or effectiveness of the participant's position or be-havior without saying that you think she/he is way out of line or using faulty logic.
Wondering is very gentle and subtle:
Participant: "I bet nobody cares about this project like I do!”
Facilitator: "I'm wondering if that is something you want to ask the group. Would it be helpful to know their level of commitment to the project?”
Reality testing/casting doubt is a widely used confronting tool.
Participant: "I want him to remove the bulkhead by tomorrow!!!"
Facilitator: "Can you tell me what would be involved in removing the bulkhead? Will someone need to reserve large equipment? I’m wondering if it would be physically possible to take care of it by tomorrow?"
Testing for good faith is an important confrontation tool when someone is being non-communicative, executing power plays, trying to take advantage of the group, engaging in a pattern of interrupting or breaking other ground rules, expressing a fixed position, not listening to others, being dishonest, trying to sway the facilitators, engaging in manipulative behaviors, using information to build a case for court, making threats, etc.
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The Facilitator can use several techniques to confront good faith problems: explain what good faith is, remind parties of their agreement to the ground rules, or make observations about behavior (e.g., ex-pressing a fixed position).
Participant: “I don’t want to give you that information. You can find it out yourself.” Facilitator: “Remember when we first started this session, we talked about putting all pertinent information out on the table, so that you all would be operating from the same page. This is an important ingredient of good faith. Is this something you can still agree to?
Brainstorming options encourages the participants to think more expansively and involves listing all ideas no matter how wild or silly on a big piece of paper without evaluating the ideas. The goal is to get the parties to think of all sorts of possibilities, to think “outside of the box” and is especially useful when the participants are feeling stuck. Evaluating the ideas needs to be a separate step so participants don’t cut off creativity or grab onto a solution before all ideas are on the table.
Facilitator: "Let's just think for a moment of all the other ways you could all get your needs met here. Don't let practicality be a hindrance right now. Just let all your wildest ideas come forth."
Using silence can be very effective in letting the disputants take responsibility for sharing information and prob-lem solving, allowing appropriate expressions of emotion or new information to be processed, providing a nudge to the participants to take things into their own hands, and slowing down the process. Facilitators are often si-lent during negotiations when things are progressing effectively. If the facilitators are silent, the participants will fill the void. Using humor is always an effective element in communicating as long as it isn't sarcastic or hurtful humor. Usu-ally some rapport needs to be established between the participants and the facilitators before humor can be effective. Once that trust is established, using a light touch can alleviate some very heavy moments in a meeting. Each facilitator brings her/his own personality to the meeting and the role. As one gets more experi-enced and more relaxed as a facilitator, don't forget to use your unique sense of humor.
Some of the material in this lesson has been adapted from Conflict Resolution Services, Inc., the Snohomish County DRC Volunteer Facilitator Training Man-ual, and Community Boards of San Francisco training material.
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Divergent and Convergent Group Movement As a group facilitator, your job is to be a smart manager of the discussion or group activities. When it is ap-propriate, you can manage the group toward divergent exploration to achieve discovery and then toward convergent dialogue and problem solving when the group is ready to analyze options and eventually make a decision. This is not a simple, linear model. It is the meeting facilitator’s job to intuit when to use divergent versus convergent meeting management tools. It is common to cycle back through these two modes multiple times until the group finally makes up its collective mind. Divergence: Tools for opening up a process or when the group sees no options or feels stuck Active Listening, Acknowledging, Eliciting Issues and Interests
Open Ended Questions Golden Questions:
What is your greatest concern What do you want to have happen- Ideal outcome? What do you most want the other people to understand?
Brainstorming in large or smaller groups Use Suggestion Circle
Quiet time to write down what one wants for oneself and others Gather more information if needed Convergence: Tools for getting a sense of the meeting, making a decision, or when the groups tasks seem too large, nebulous or overwhelming. Active Listening, etc.
Common Ground Statements Summarizing
Closed ended questions Small diverse groups to propose solutions that meet needs
Use of Sticky Board to categorize/group needs or ideas Use parking lot to stay on track
Sticky Dots for prioritization
Creative straw polls: Testing for Consensus, Thumbs, Colored Cards, Five Fingers Evaluating Options: What can each of you do to solve the problem?
Look for offers and proposals. Only Proposals That Include Others’ Needs Satisfy
General Tools Active Listening, etc
Periodically state the sense of the meeting and allow time for seasoning and discussion Really listen to objections- they broaden your base
Flip a coin when appropriate- Don’t work too hard Use of homework, committee work, crafting language outside a large meeting
Who will do what by when and how? What if….? Reporting back
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Module 10:
The Tool Box
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Quick Icebreaker Meeting Openers A quick meeting opening icebreaker works well if you have a limited time for your meeting or a very large group. The first listed takes almost no time at all and the second only takes ten minutes and avoids advance preparation of nametags. The last one encourages prompt arrival. Birth Map Hang a large map of the world on the wall. As people enter, give everyone a pushpin. Have them pin the loca-tion of their birth on the map. Remind people at the start of the activity or meeting to check out the map lat-er. Creative Name Tags Give everyone 10 minutes to make his or her own nametag. They can list hobbies, draw a picture, or write a self-profile. Famous People/Cities 1. As each person arrives, tape a 3 x 5-index card on his or her back with the name of a famous city or per-
son. 2. People must circulate the room asking questions that only answerable with a yes or no. 3. The goal is to identify clues that will help them find out the name of the person or city on their index card. Examples: London, New York, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and John Wayne. Stop putting index cards on
backs when it is time for the meeting or activity to start, and then give 5 minutes more to finish the activity.
You may wish to set aside the easiest names for the last few individuals to receive cards.
Name Backwards Introduction Ask the each person to say their name backwards when they introduce themselves. If you wish, part or all of the backward game is used as a nickname throughout the activity. The funny part is that there is usually someone whose name is the same backwards, i.e. Anna.
Name Aerobics This quick icebreaker is a fun and interactive way to learn everyone’s name. The group stands in a circle facing each other. Choose a person to start by introducing themselves by doing an action for each syllable of their name. The entire group repeats the name and motions. This continues until everyone has introduced them-selves.
Paper Airplane 1. Everyone makes a paper airplane and writes their name and two questions to ask someone else. 2. On cue, everyone throws their airplane around the room, picks up others’ airplanes, and keeps throwing them. 3. The leader says stop after one or two minutes. 4. Everyone must have one paper airplane. 5. They must find the owner of the airplane they have and answer the questions on the airplane. 6. Each person then introduces the owner of the airplane they have to the group.
https://icebreakerideas.com/quick-icebreakers/
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Meetings and workshops can suffer if participants feel they haven't had time to build a rapport with the rest of the group, or if they end too abruptly some people like 'closure'. These tools are best used at the beginning or end of a meeting or workshop, but might be appropriate elsewhere. Here are seven great ways to close meetings that can take the blah out of them, and leave everyone feel-ing as if the time spent wasn't so bad after all. By trying some of these strategies, maybe your staff or co-workers will actually be inspired, feel heard and needed, and maybe--just maybe--look forward to the next meeting.
1. Don't let it drag on Productivity cannot begin and goals cannot be met sitting in a meeting! Set your timer for a few minutes (10 is good) prior to the meeting's scheduled end. Once that timer goes off, summarize the outcome of the meeting with the time remaining. Are there still people anxious to share their views? Encourage those individuals to send you an email with their ideas so you can place them on the agenda for the next meeting or get back to them in person. Most important, end the meeting on time--don't let it go on longer than necessary.
2. Keep it positive At the end of each meeting, highlight the positive contributions your team has made. This is your "make every-one feel good" moment--make sure everyone leaves feeling good about something he or she accomplished or contributed to the meeting or the company as a whole. Let everyone know how incredibly successful you felt the meeting was even if it means highlighting the one good thing that came out of it.
3. Be nice--like you mean it! We know most meetings end with head nods, handshakes, and other bland niceties. Why not end the meeting with a sincere "thank you for coming," a sincere handshake with eye contact, or lighthearted conversation about anything but work or the company's future?
4. Neutralize a touchy meeting Is your meeting going to end with hurt feelings? Sometimes, for change to occur, things have to be said in meetings that may rub some the wrong way. Or conversations get heated when the blame game begins. If you have a meeting that goes south and feelings get hurt, end the meeting by acknowledging what is and isn't working and, most important, acknowledge the hurt feelings of members of your team before going on to next steps. 5. Redirect a pointless meeting We have all been in that meeting where, halfway through, you're finding it extremely hard to find any sem-blance of the original intent. There is a lot of pointless conversation, daydreaming, and fidgeting going on. Be-cause you don't want this gathering of your team to be a total waste of time, end the current conversation as quickly (but sensitively) as possible, and then ask your team members to take a couple of minutes to think about those pressing things they would like to discuss further. Jot down their ideas for the next meeting's agen-da, or make plans to meet with them one-on-one after the meeting, and then move on. 6. Open up the meeting So often meetings are dominated by a few. Save 5 to 10 minutes at the end of each meeting to give all team members an opportunity to add a comment and have their say without interruptions--this is their time to speak. This will make them feel heard and could possibly open some eyes, and the door, to new possibilities as the meeting comes to an end. 7. End it with action! Toward the end of your meeting, briefly list the action steps that need to take place to move the company or your team forward. Remind everyone where the company is headed--the big picture. End it with a genuine smile and enthusiasm for the future
7 Ways to End Every Meeting on a Positive Note by Peter Economy https://www.inc.com/peter-economy/7-effortless-ways-to-end-every-meeting-on-a-positive-note.html
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Module 11:
Dealing with Difficult Behaviors
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E + R = O Event + Response = Outcome
“It is the response that determines the outcome”
Einstein’s definition of insanity:
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result
When dealing with difficult people,
who do we get to change?
Ourselves.
If you thought we were going to help you to change the difficult people, we’re not. You don’t get to change other people.
E + R = O
The main trait of highly successful people is that they are willing to continue to grow and learn.
No matter how difficult the people you deal with are, how you interact with them always changes the outcome
The beauty of freedom of choice: You can take the bait or respond differently.
If you have heard something 7 times you can remember it. People may need to hear you 7 times before they really get it. Be patient.
Adapted from lecture notes on “Dealing with Difficult People” ; DRC 2003
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DEALING WITH DIFFICULT BEHAVIORS
Whether you are working with large or small groups of people or something in the middle, you won’t be able to control everything that happens. People may misunderstand, misrepresent, obstruct and disrupt without even necessarily intending to do so. Taking care to set up a facilitation for success. Developing rapport as you are able, clearly defining the pro-cess and roles and modeling and facilitating helpful communication skills will all contribute to reducing the number of problems you encounter. The first thing to remember is to accept that you cannot control everything. Don’t take challenges to the pro-cess as a personal attack. Learn to step out of the way of attacks and redirect the communication to some-thing more productive. Don’t assume that all people exhibiting difficult behaviors are alike. Some are truly weird, but most:
○ Just want attention and recognition and to be heard ○ Might be feeling too emotionally charged to monitor their own participation ○ Want a specific outcome and will fight to get it ○ Don’t know or don’t have a more constructive way to participate ○ Think they are just being helpful
Without using up too much time, try to figure out what is underneath the behavior. Use simple constructive techniques to stop the behavior and invite more positive participation. Focus on the future. Example Language: “Let me see if I understand what you are saying...” “I hear that you really value or need….” “What would you most like the other person to understand?” “What would you like to see happen in the future?” “Where do you want to go from here?” Etc.
If they need attention or to be heard: People who don’t feel heard tend to repeat themselves over and over again and get loud. It does not cost you anything to listen to them closely and to give them recognition and invite their positive participation. You can also slow the process down further by hav-ing the other party reflect back what was just said, and ask the speaker if they got it right, or if they need to try again.
If they are too emotionally charged: You can take a break or try to manage the climate in the room. Normalize. Acknowledge the feelings and energy in the room. Ask the person what they need right now to be able to participate in the process. Slow down the communication and use simple and calm language. Balance air time.
If they are fighters for an outcome: Acknowledge their investment and the level of importance that this issue has for them. Invite them into the process. Ask them where this might fit into the agenda.
If they don’t know how to contribute effectively: Untrained participants can be educated to become good participants, much more easily than they can be suppressed. Participants need to be informed and understand the process. This might take repetition.
If they think they are being helpful: These people are willing to try, not problems at all! With guidance they can be taught how to contribute productively.
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Escalate you interventions very deliberately and slowly from lowest level to higher level as needed. Lower level: May choose to ignore behavior if it is not negatively impacting or derailing the meeting
Actively listen and acknowledge Reframe, surface interests
Educate, redirect, involve and engage Orient the person to where we are in the process Acknowledge and ask for a change in behavior during caucus or in open session Higher level: Refer to the ground rules
End the meeting Adapted from Mediating and Facilitating Pubic Disputes Program for Community Problem Solving, 1992
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DEALING WITH DIFFICULT BEHAVIORS
Behavior Say/Do
Attacker Intervene. Stop the interaction. Acknowledge out loud the person’s strong feelings and ask if they could share it in a way that others can hear it. Intervene with increasing firmness if be-havior continues. Describe the impact when someone feels attacked. Notice out loud people’s body language in reaction to feeling attacked. Remind person about the ground rules and re-quest a behavior change.
Two Fighters Ask them to direct their comments to you. Acknowledge the strength of conviction/feelings about the subject for both of them. Have parties focus on their interests and needs. “What do each of you need to have happen to be able to move forward from here?” “What can each of you do to solve the problem?”
Exploder Interrupt. Stand up. Make eye contact. Respond in a low calm neutral voice. Acknowledge feelings and surface interests. May suggest a break and talk in private with the person. “It seems like you are really frustrated with the situation and need to be heard. Can you tell me what your greatest concern is, or what you most need the other party to understand?” See under “attacker”.
Negative Body
Language Name what you are observing without judgement. “Jo, I see you rolling your eyes/shaking your head vigorously. It appears that you don't agree. Can you tell us what is going on for you?”
Talker Be sure person is acknowledged and listened to thoroughly once. Interrupt and say, “Let me see if I understand what you are saying…. Does that capture your thoughts? Is there something we have not yet heard?” Remind re ground rules, equal air time, etc.
Interrupter Use body language. Acknowledge their need to have input. Ask them to write down their thoughts so they don’t forget them when it is their turn to talk. Remind them re ground rules. "Erin, Max wasn’t finished. Max, please continue. Now, Erin...."
Interpreter “Hold on Sam, let's let Gerry use his/her own language and speak for himself/herself..."
Clam Ask point blank for their input. Be attentive to pause length. Notice silence out loud and ask the person how you should interpret it. Make sure they know that you want them to be heard if they want to be heard. Caucus.
Doubting Thomas Interrupt consistently negative behavior. Acknowledge sincere feelings of hopelessness, being overwhelmed or stuck. Redirect toward generating new ideas. “What do you think would work?” “What would you suggest that would solve the problem?”
Dispute Resolution Center of Thurston County, Adapted from McDonald Communications, Effective Meetings Management
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Challenges for the Facilitator (AKA “worst fears”)
Problem Say/Do
Not being accepted ·Be sure each person/subgroup agrees to facilitation beforehand ·Get proper introduction ·Ask group what concern is and problem solve
·Ask group to give you a try for one hour and then re-evaluate
·Ultimately you can remove yourself You offend someone ·Apologize ·Ask what you can do differently ·Check it out with whole group ·Ultimately you can remove yourself Can't keep group on track ·Report out problem to group ·Remind group of ground rules ·Keep refocusing discussion ·Confront -"How does this relate to your topic?" Can't finish agenda - not ·Forgive yourself enough time allotted ·Ask group to re-prioritize time ·Manage group expectations - "This is more than any group could do...let's look at what's reasonable..." ·Get group to re-commit to time frame agreed upon Can't reach consensus ·Forgive yourself - it's often not possible or appropriate ·Ask group why not: Need more info? Too much hostility? Not right time? Something else? Is another method appropriate?
Looking inept and foolish ·So you're human - forgive yourself ·Admit your confusion and ask for help ·It's their meeting and they need to take responsibility for its success ·Suggest a change of pace ·Do your preplanning: Anticipate trouble and possible coping strategies
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Losing your neutrality ·Recognize it as soon as you are able ·Evaluate whether or not you can continue and act impartially ·Step out of role publicly, until you can take it back ·Ask for help – ask them to remind you about neutrality if you get caught up in their 'stuff' ·Excuse and replace yourself with someone better able to act impartially Hidden agendas ·“I wonder if we've all put our cards on the table. Let's go around the table again and..." ·"Are there any more comments?" ·"You seem to have some hesitancy – did you have something else in mind?" ·Do an open gripe session ·Be sure interests are being satisfied ·Notice out loud if there is an elephant in the room You need to cut off a person in authority ·Get agreement ahead of time to your facilitative role including the right to interrupt or intervene to keep them on track ·Use all of your communication skills to remain even-handed and fair to all participants
·Visualize beforehand what you would say and practice it ·Allow the person to save face.
Remember ·Do your homework at intake and many of these problems won't happen later ·Be sure to go over roles and rules and re-contract with group at every meeting
·It's often best to report out what’s going on and to suggest a process solution – you're modeling honesty and congruence, that rare and important ability to sense what's not being said and to confront the group with it gently ·Don't forget it's their group, it's their problem and it's their solution - you just supply a process that ultimately the group needs own too
·And again, if all else fails, withdraw from the role – in so doing you preserve your integrity and the integrity of the process.
Dispute Resolution Center of Thurston County 2015
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Resources
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Tools for Effective Meetings
U-shaped seating with space in the middle for the facilitator
Breakout space for 2 people to dialogue
One hour social time before (food)
“Is there something we haven’t discussed that you want to talk about?”
Executive team Fishbowl with open seat
Look at options in terms of pros & cons – not final decisions
Use bike rack, parking lot, BUL pen to keep on track with current topic
Say yes to obstructionist’s demands
Take 3 minutes quiet time & 3 minutes to deliver content of 3 golden questions in facilitator feedback
and wall notes
Stickers to weight a brainstorm for prioritizing
Talk with recorder ahead of time
Manage any expectations any time
Tell what you’re doing and why you’re doing it right now
Anonymous brainstorming
Use of sticky board to categorize
Use suggestion circle (for staff/support peers)
Greet people at door when doing large public meetings/hearings
When voting, record minority opinion
Ask to have them put themselves in other’s shoes
Take quiet time to write down what one wants for oneself and for others
Have representatives go back to their constituencies
Use appropriate vocabulary and methods for culture of group – do research up front
Do research and find commonalities
Remember that ‘messing up’ is often OK and an opportunity
Process is basically forgiving
Be yourself
Get comfortable in role of authority whether perceived or actual
Stay out of the way when good work is happening
This list was generated by the DRC pilot group in the Facilitating Effective Meetings Training on 9/29/04
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Additional Resources
Bens, I. (2018). Facilitating with Ease!: Core Skills for Facilitators, Team Leaders and Members, Managers,
Consultants and Trainers. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.
Brookfield, S. D., & Preskill, S. (2016). The Discussion Book: 50 Great Ways to Get People Talking. Hoboken,
NJ: John Wiley & Sons.
Bryner, A., & Markova, D. (1996). An Unused Intelligence: Physical Thinking for 21st Century Leadership.
Berkeley, CA: Conari Press.
Cole-Dai, P., & Wilson, R. R. (2017). Poetry of Presence: An Anthology of Mindfulness Poems. West Hartford,
CT: Grayson Books.
de Farber, B., Hines, A., & Hood, B. J. (2017). Collaborating with Strangers: Facilitating Workshops in
Libraries, Classes, and Nonprofits. Chicago, IL: Neal-Schuman.
Hartnett, T. (2014). Consensus-Oriented Decision-Making: The CODM Model for Facilitating Groups to
Widespread Agreement. Gabriola Island, B.C.: New Society.
Hollins, C. D., & Govan, I. M. (2015). Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Strategies for Facilitating Conversations
on Race. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.
Killermann, S., & Bolger, M. (2016). Unlocking the Magic of Facilitation: 11 Key Concepts You Didn't Know
You Didn't Know. Austin, TX: Impetus Books.
McCandless, K., & Lipmanowicz, H. (n.d.). Liberating Structures. Retrieved from
http://www.liberatingstructures.com
Rueckhaus, P. (2017). 3 Dimensions of Cultural Humility [PowerPoint slides]. Retrieved from
https://skylinecollege.edu/studentequitydivision/assets/documents/Cultural_Humility.pptx
Wilkinson, M. (2012). The Secrets of Facilitation: The S.M.A.R.T. Guide to Getting Results with Groups. San
Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.