Details regarding Santa’s North Pole operation lead to further unanswered questions...

CURIOSITY AROUND MR. CLAUS:

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Santa’s ‘Little Helper’ provides some interesting REVELATIONS on just what happens

‘behind the curtain’ at the North Pole.

expose’

E ver wonder how it could be feasible from a logistical perspective for Santa Claus and eight reindeer to make deliveries to children worldwide – in a single

snowy night?

Furthermore, ever wonder what the elves at the North Pole really do? Do they really make every toy by hand? And if they don’t, how is it possible for them to procure parts and services from vendors worldwide ~ without ever signing a contract or executing a purchase order?

We looked far and wide, and were unable to find one contract, one report, one single tweet of evidence that would indicate any of the major suppliers were in fact a strategic partner of the North Pole.

We wanted some answers. That’s why we aggressively pursued ‘ole St. Nick’ for an interview. We put our crack inves-tigative team to work to ascertain how Santa’s workshop is able to meet the high demands of market expectations at Christmas with what is believed to be such an antiquated, understaffed operation.

We were astounded by what the team uncovered in prepara-tion for our clandestine meeting with ‘The Great Red Jolly One’. It is reported that more than 500 million children living in approximately 91.8 billion homes worldwide will make requests for various toys, games and especially electronics from Santa in 2010. This would suggest that the North Pole’s infrastructure and manufacturing operations are far from the dilapidated, archaic systems we believed them to be; and are possibly the most advanced, high-tech operation the world has ever known.

After several invitations, late this year we were elated to at long last, receive word that a representative of Santa’s North Pole operation would be meeting with us for an exclusive interview at a studio location in New York City.

As the lead investigator and interviewer on this story, I was tasked with assembling my roster of queries for this ‘North Pole-ish’ dignitary. As the interview date grew closer, I was both anxious and challenged by the fact that I didn’t really know ‘who’ would be showing up for the interview.

We were all taken back when ‘Santa’s Little Helper’ arrived.

Q: Miss ‘Helper’, thank you for coming to meet us here today. Coincidentally, I noticed that it began snowing right about the time you arrived. How interesting...

(‘Miss Helper’ as she wanted to be called, didn’t respond to my observation; but instead, offered me a candy cane, smiled warmly and proceded to get ready for the interview)

I understand you got to spend some time in our studio with the photographer and we got some great shots. This is truly an honor to interview such a high-ranking official within Santa Claus’s North Pole operation. Have you had many photos taken (previously)?

A: Thank you for the invitation to speak with you. And, not since I had my picture taken for my Facebook profile, but unfortunately, I had to take that picture down.

Q: Facebook? (I was a bit surprised) Why did you take it down?

A: (She giggled politely while flitting just a bit) You see–Elves, by nature, are practical jokers. I logged in one day and found that they had hacked my account and drew a mustache on me.

Q: Really? Isn’t that nearly impossible to do with the security standards Facebook has in place?

A: I shouldn’t tell you this, but Mark Zuckerberg has been very high on Santa’s ‘Nice’ list since he donated $100 million to the New Jersey Public Schools. He and several of the ‘techie’ Elves are quite close these days. It wasn’t a stretch to figure out who the culprits were.You’ll have to excuse my candor. As you know, we don’t do many interviews. This is a rare opportunity for me to get away for a few days. I love all the shopping and shows in New York. And, the people are so gracious. What an amaz-ing experience. I may just have to extend my visit!

Q: It looks as if you may have already done some shop-ping. That is quite an expensive diamond necklace you’re wearing. Is it real?

A: (Sparkling in response)

Oh, I believe so. This man at the place called ‘Tiffanys’ said it was quite rare. I couldn’t resist. They remind me so much of glistening snowflakes. (She tips her head, suddenly concerned) Do you think maybe it’s a fake?

Q: Not if it’s the Tiffanys I have in mind. I won’t ask how you came by the means to purchase such an extravagant item. You do have a very charismatic personality, does that play a factor in determining how you’re compensated?

A: (Miss Helper blushes, squeals delightfully like a school girl and momentarily tosses her eyes toward the ceiling playfully). That’s really sweet of you to say. But this was actually a gift from an old admirer that I reconnected with a couple days ago.

Q: No kidding? Good for you! Is this gentleman the lucky man in your life?

A: Oh, no. It’s nothing serious. (Chuckling) This is really nothing out of the ordinary. All of us “Little” Helpers have our special way…

Q: Yes…I’m certain you are genuinely welcomed wherever you appear. Ahem…now, let’s focus on the topic at hand. We understand from our research that the rate of productivity you and the elves have been able to accomplish within your operation is absolutely incredible. How do you do it?

A: Well, it takes a lot of careful planning, a lot of commit-ment and a lot of teamwork. Especially the teamwork. If I didn’t have such a great group of cooperative ‘individuals‘ to work with, we couldn’t do it.

Q: So, would you say Santa has built a large team of workers that can accomplish things that nobody else in the world is

. . .

able to replicate?

A: Much has been written about the mystery behind who we are and how we accomplish what we do, but I’m certain that within your research you’ve found that no two stories are alike.

Everybody around the world looks at our operation from their own perspective, from their own set of values and beliefs. Ultimately if people want to believe in what we can do for them, and what they can do for themselves, then we can all accomplish magical things.

Q: Speaking of other people around the world, I was wondering if you can shed some light on something many people are wondering. In order for your boss, Mr. Claus, to accurately deliver more than 5 million tons of gifts across a 75 million mile global route, he would need to travel at a rate 3,000 times the speed of sound…? How is that even possible? What am I missing here?

The idea that ONE man and eight tiny reindeer can single-handedly accomplish so much in the course of ONE evening is virtually impossible. Based on our calculations, the numbers just don’t add up!

A: (Miss Helper nods, offers a gracious smile and coyly leans back in her chair)

Oh, I assure you it can, and it does…But to answer your question with the level of detail I think you are requesting would violate my oath as a trusted member of Santa’s team. I am certain that you understand the ramifica-tions of revealing proprietary information.That said, I am glad to share my general knowledge of Procurement and Supply Chain Management strategies that I’ve acquired over the years.

Q: Miss ‘Helper’, you can certainly understand that our readers are seasoned business professionals that are accus-tom to getting exclusive access. They want to learn what makes your operation so successful. We’re looking for real answers to some very perplexing questions. If all the toy manufacturing facilities in the world were combined – with all their high-tech robotics and sophisticated supply chain networks – they couldn’t come close to what you’re report-ing. Each of your elves would have to assemble more than 50,000 toys per day!Unless your dosing the Elves with some performance-enhancing supplements, I don’t see how this is possible!

A: (Giggling, Miss Helper fidgets as she shifts position in her chair, efficiently organizes the contents of her bag and adjusts her skirt) I can’t provide you with actual proof around the statistics you quote. However, I can assure you, there aren’t any hookah-smoking Reindeer or Elves experimenting with pixie-dust running around Santa’s Workshop. We run a good, clean, family-operated ‘small’ business.

For centuries people have felt the need to analyze our opera-tion to find ‘answers’. They have a driving desire to peek behind ‘the veil’ thinking that they will learn something about us that will solve all their problems, make a great headline and propel them to notoriety. But, the problem with this thinking is that once the mystery is gone, the magic disap-pears also. You see, when belief in Santa Clause and the

North Pole is suspended, life becomes a byproduct of logic rather than the stuff dreams are made of.

You see, all of Santa’s helpers work long hours under great pressure throughout the year to achieve our goal. We do it cheerfully because we share a single purpose: to bring joy and happiness to girls and boys everywhere and spread ‘The Christmas Spirit’.

Q: (Caught off guard by these remarks, I was at a loss for words – painfully aware that the entire crew had been hang-ing on Miss Helper’s every word. They were now waiting anxiously for my response. I fumbled, helplessly through my list of prepared questions and struggled to rebound)Well,.. Miss Helper, that sounds like a well-practiced response to a challenging question. I was ideally looking for a simple truth around how on earth Santa Claus can achieve the impossible year after year.A: Thank you so much for having me today. It’s been a real pleasure and indeed a challenge. I’ve delivered the message you needed to hear. Now, it’s time for me to go. Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

(With that, I realized my time with Santa’s Little Helper was coming to an end and I had not gotten the scoop I had hoped for. Just as I attempted to ask her for more time, she stood, leaned over and softly whispered in my ear “Just remember, anything can be outsourced.” She then turned, walked through the door and disappeared in to the night.

At that very moment, the snow shower ended just as quickly as it had started.)

In retrospect, it’s been quite a while since I was outwitted on the chessboard of journalism. I can’t say that anyone’s immune to the guiles of a charming ‘subject’ such as Santa’s Little Helper. However, I think that I’ll never come across another Little Helper such as she in my lifetime.

And, while I didn’t get the scoop I was looking for, Miss Helper’s parting comments would lead one to consider that “outsourcing” may in fact be the answer to this riddle. Considering our lack of evidence that the North Pole is engaged with any “major” suppliers, one could also assume that they have partnered with a global collection of “small” businesses. Yet, with all of these assumptions, after this myste-rious encounter, I can’t disqualify the idea that ‘magic’ may somehow play a role in the process.

. . .

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