Someloveswilllast’tilyourdyingbreath

Everychoicehasconsequences—butseventeen-year-oldLaylafacestougherchoicesthanmost.Lightordarkness.WickedlysexydemonprinceRoth,orZayne,thegorgeous,protectiveWardensheneverthoughtcouldbehers.

Hardestofall,Laylahastodecidewhichsideofherselftotrust.

Laylahasanewproblem,too.ALilin—thedeadliestofdemons—hasbeenunleashed,wreakinghavoconthosearoundher...includingherbestfriend.TokeepSamfromafatemuch,muchworsethandeath,Laylamuststrikeadealwiththeenemy

whilesavinghercity—andherrace—fromdestruction.

Tornbetweentwoworldsandtwodifferentboys,Laylahasnocertainties,leastofallsurvival,especiallywhenanoldbargaincomesbacktohauntthemall.Butsometimes,whensecretsareeverywhereandthetruthseemsunknowable,youhavetolistentoyourheart,picka

side—andthenfightlikehell...

PraiseforTheDarkElementsseriesby#1NewYorkTimesbestselling

authorJENNIFERL.ARMENTROUT

EveryLastBreath

“EveryLastBreathhas

solidifiedTheDarkElementsasmyfavoriteYA

paranormalromanceseries.JenniferArmentroutdeliversaknockoutendingtothetrilogy—steamy,smartand

satisfying.”—WendyHiggins,NewYorkTimesbestsellingauthorofThe

Sweetseries

StoneColdTouch

“Armentroutbalancessuspenseandromance,

spicingitupwithRoth’sone-linersandLayla’swryinnercommentary,alladding

welcomehumor....Demonicfun.”

—KirkusReviews

“Anabsolutelyphenomenal,edge-of-your-seatthrill

ride....[This]justmightbe

theprolificauthor’sbestseries.”

—RTBookReviews(TopPick)

WhiteHotKiss

“Armentroutworkshermagicwithswoon-worthyguysand

atwistyouneverseecoming.”

—#1NewYorkTimesbestsellingauthorAbbiGlines

“WiththisfirsttitleinhernewDarkElementsseries,

powerhouseauthorArmentroutdeliversanotheraction-packed,believablynarratedride...Intense,wellplotted,andveryreadable,thistitleshouldflyintothehandsofeveryparanormal

readeroutthere.”—Booklist

“Well-pacedandpepperedwithintriguingdetailsthatallowbothRomeo-and-Juliet

swoonsandazombieapocalypsetohavetheir

turns.”—PublishersWeekly

“Constantlyentertaining...thenarrativesizzleswithasmuch

tensionasromance.”—KirkusReviews

Don’tmissanyofTheDarkElementsseriesfrom

JENNIFERL.ARMENTROUT

andHarlequinTEEN

BitterSweetLove(ebookprequelnovella)WhiteHotKissStoneColdTouchEveryLastBreath

OtherbooksbyJenniferL.

Armentrout

ShadowsObsidianOnyxOpalOrigin

OppositionOblivionDaimonHalf-BloodPure

DeityElixirApollyonSentinel

LookforthefirstbookinJennifer’s

brand-newyoungadultseries

fromHarlequinTEEN

TheProblemwithForever

EVERYLAST

BREATH

JenniferL.Armentrout

ThisisforeveryZayneandRothfan,everyonewho

rootedforLaylaandwantedtheirveryownBambi,and

foreveryonewhopassionatelyralliedbehindtheirfavoriteguyandvotedforwhichonethey’dlikeLaylatochoose.Thankyoufortakingthisjourneywith

me.

Contents

ChapterOne

ChapterTwo

ChapterThree

ChapterFour

ChapterFive

ChapterSix

ChapterSeven

ChapterEight

ChapterNine

ChapterTen

ChapterEleven

ChapterTwelve

ChapterThirteen

ChapterFourteen

ChapterFifteen

ChapterSixteen

ChapterSeventeen

ChapterEighteen

ChapterNineteen

ChapterTwenty

ChapterTwenty-One

ChapterTwenty-Two

ChapterTwenty-Three

ChapterTwenty-Four

ChapterTwenty-Five

ChapterTwenty-Six

ChapterTwenty-Seven

ChapterTwenty-Eight

ChapterTwenty-Nine

ChapterThirty

ChapterThirty-One

ChapterThirty-Two

ExcerptfromTheProblemwithForeverbyJenniferL.Armentrout

one

ISTOODINStacey’slivingroomasmyentireworldcrashedaroundmeoncemore.SamwastheLilin.Acutehorrorheldme

immobile,seizingtheairinmylungsasIstaredatwhatusedtobeoneofmyclosestfriendsinthewholeworld.

Becauseofthedemonicfamiliar,Bambi,andbeingunabletoseesoulswhileshe’dbondedtome,I’dneverseenwhathadbeenrightinfrontofmyfacethisentiretime.Noneofushad,butitwasSam—he’dbeentheonetocausethemayhematschoolandalltherecentdeaths.Insteadofstrippingsoulswithasingletouch,asI’dknownaLilincoulddo,

he’dtakenhistime,takingalittlehereandthere,playingwithhisvictimsandplayingwithus.Playingwithme.Exceptwhatwasstanding

inStacey’shousewas—wasbasicallywearingSam’sskin,aperfectlycraftedcostume,becausetherealSam...Hewasnomore.Thepainofknowingthatmyfriendwasdead,hadbeendeadfora

whilewithoutanyofusknowing,cutdeepintome,makingmiseryofmyboneandtissue.Ihadn’tbeenabletosave

him.Noneofushadbeenableto,andnowhissoul...hissoulhadtobedownbelow,whereallsoulsthatweretakenbyaLilinwouldgo.Mystomachcramped.“Youcannotdefeatme,”

theLilinsaid,hisvoice

identicaltoSam’s.“Sojoinme.”“Orwhat?”Myheart

poundedlikeajackhammerinmychest.“Ordie?That’snotincrediblyclichéoranything.”TheLilintilteditsheadto

theside.“Actually,Iwasn’tgoingtosaythattoyou.Ineedyoutohelpfreeourmother.Therestofthemcandie,though.”

Ourmother.BeforeIcoulddwellontheickfactorofbeingrelatedtothecreaturethathadkilledmyfriendandinflictedsomuchcarnage,Zayneshiftedintohistrueform,distractingme.HisshirtrippedupthebackashiswingsunfurledandhisskindeepenedtothedarkgraniteoftheWardens.Twohornssprouted,partinghiswavyblondhairastheycurled

back,andhisnostrilsflattened.Whenhepartedhislipstoletoutalowgrowlofwarning,fangsappeared.HesteppedtowardSam,hismassivehandscurlingintofists.“Don’t!”Ishouted.Zayne

halted,hisheadswingingsharplytowardme.“Donotgetclosetohim.Yoursoul,”Iremindedhimasmyheartraced.Orwhatwasleftof

Zayne’ssoul,consideringI’daccidentallytakenanicelittlebiteoutofitnotlongago.Zaynebackedoff,his

stancewary.Iturnedmyattentionback

totheevilmasqueradingasSam.Whateverthethingwasstandinginfrontofus,wedidsharethesamefleshandblood.OnlyrecentlyhadIlearnedexactlyhowI’dcometobepartdemonandpart

Warden.IwasthedaughterofLilithandthis...thisthingtrulywasapartofme.IthadbeenbornoutofLilith’sandmyblood,anditwasjustasevilasLilith.Itwantedherfreed?Impossible.IfLilitheverendeduptopside,theworldasweknewitwouldirrevocablychange.“I’mnotgoingtohelpyou

freeLilith.”Iwassonotreferringtoherasourmother.

Yuck.“That’snevergoingtohappen.”TheLilinsmiledasit

watchedmewithdark,inkyeyes.“Getascloseasyouwant.”Itignoredmystatement,tauntingZayne.Heck,tauntingallofus.“She’snottheonlyoneinthisroomwithatasteforaWarden’ssoul.”Isuckedinasharp,

stingingbreathasStaceylet

outawhimper.Inthespaceofasecond,herrelationshipwithSamflashedbeforeme.They’dbeenfriendsforeverandonlyrecentlyhadsherecognizedthatSamhadalways,alwaysbeeninlovewithher.Butshehadn’tstartedpayingrealattentiontohimuntilSamhadbeguntochange...OhGod.Staceyhadtobebreaking

wide-open,seeingtheboyshefinallylovedbecomeworsethanthemonstersthatprowledthestreetsatnight,butIcouldn’taffordtotakemyfocusofftheLilin.Itcouldmakeamoveatanymoment,andthreeofusinthisroomwerevulnerabletotheworstkindofattackitcoulddeliver.“There’snothinglike

takingapuresoul,butyou’d

alreadyknowthat,Layla.Allthatwarmthandgoodnessgoesdownassmoothastherichestchocolate.”TheLilintippeditschinupandletoutthekindofgroanthatnormallywould’vecausedmyearstoburn.“Buttakingyourtime,savoringthetasteissomuchmoredecadent.Youshouldtryit,Layla,andstopbeingsogreedywhenyoufeed.”

“AndyoushouldtryshuttingtheHellup.”Heatrolledoffthepowerfuldemonstandingbesideme.Roth,thereigningCrownPrinceofHell,hadn’tshiftedyet,butIcouldtellhewasclose.Furydrippedfromhiswords.“Howaboutthat?”TheLilindidn’tevenspare

aglanceinRoth’sdirection.“Ilikeyou.Ireallydo,prince.Toobadyou’regoing

toendupdead.”Myfingerscurledin,nails

bitingintomypalmsasangerflushedthroughmysystem,hotandbitter.Myemotionswereallovertheplace.Ontopofeverythingelsethathadgonewrongrecently,IwasstandingherebetweenZayneandRoth,whichwasaboutathousandtimesawkwardonanormalday,butnow,afterRoth...

Icouldn’tfocusonanyofthatrightnow.“You’reverybrave,makingthreatswhenweoutnumberyou.”Oneshoulderroseina

gesturesoquintessentiallySamitsentasliceofpainthroughme.“HowaboutI’mjustintelligent?”itqueriedgamely.“AndhowaboutIknowmorethanallofyouabouthowthiswillend?”“Youtalkalot,”Roth

growled,steppingforward.“AndImeanalot.Whyisitthatthebadguysalwayshavetogivedisgustinglylongandboringmonologues?Let’sjustgettothekillingpart,allright?”TheLilin’smouthformed

alopsidedgrin.“Soeagertodiethefinaldeath,aren’tyou?”“Soeagertobedonewith

yourunningyourmouth,

morelike,”Rothretorted,movingsothatonceagainhestooddirectlybesideme.“It’sbeenyouthiswhole

time?”Stacey’svoicetrembledundertheweightofthepainshemustbefeeling.“Youhaven’tbeenSam?Notsince...”“NotsinceDeandisplayed

hisfistsoffury.Thatwasfun.”TheLilinlaughedasthosedarkeyesslidinher

direction.“Samhasn’tbeenhomeinquitesometime,butIcanassureyou,Ienjoyed...ourtimetogetherasmuchasI’msurehewould’ve.Youknow,ifthat’sanyconsolationforyou.”Sheclappedherhandsover

hermouth,mufflingthewordsastearsstreameddownherpaleface.“OhmyGod.”“Notquite,”itmurmured

silkily.

IsteppedclosertoStacey,drawingtheLilin’sattentionfromher.Iwassickforher,absolutelyrepulsed.“Why?”Idemanded.“You’vebeenaroundusforweeks.Whyhaven’tyouattackedanyofus?”TheLilinsighedheavily.

“I’mnotallaboutviolence,deathandgore.Idiscoveredratherquicklythattherearealotoffunthingstodotopside,

thingsI’vethoroughlyenjoyed.”ItwinkedatStacey,andIsawred.Myskintingledlikea

thousandfireantsweremarchingalloverit.“Don’tlookather.Don’ttalktoherorevenbreatheinhergeneraldirection,anddon’teventhinkabouttouchinghereveragain.”“Oh,I’vedonemorethan

that,”theLilinreplied.“Lots

more.EverythingyourSamwisheshecould’vehadtheballstodo.Butyouknow,he’snotreallyconcernedaboutthosethingsatthemoment.Yousee,Iconsumedhim—hissoulinitsentirety.Nopartofhimremainsonthisplane.He’snotawraithliketheotherswhocrossedmypath.Ididn’tplaywithmyfoodwhenitcametohim,takingtinybits

ofhim.No,he’sgone.He’sin—”Severalthingshappenedall

atonce.Staceyshottowardthe

Lilin,herhandrisingasifshewasabouttoknockthemockingsmileoffhisface.TheLilindriftedtowardher,andwhileithadn’ttakenhersoulyetforwhateverreason,Inowknewtherewerenoguarantees.TheLilinwas

unpredictable.Ithadexposedwhatittrulywas,andIsenseditwasdoneplayingaround.Itwaswithinarms’reachofherandI—well,Isortoflostit.Ragelitmeupfromtheinside.Thechangecameoverme

withouteventrying.Likesheddingasweater,IletgoofthehumanformI’dwornforsolong,andinaway,haddesperatelyclungto.Ithad

neverbeenthiseasybefore.Bonesdidn’tbreakandreknit.Skindidn’tstretch,butIfeltmineharden,becomeresilienttomostknivesandbullets.Theroofofmymouthtingledasmyfangsdropped,teethdesignedtocutthroughevenaWarden’sskin,andmostdefinitelyaLilin’s.Justbelowthebaseofmyneckandoneithersideofmyspine,mywingsbrokefree

andunfurled.Therewasasharpinhale

fromsomeoneintheroom,butIwasn’tpayingattention.Movingasquickasacobra

striking,IgrabbedStacey’sarmandshovedherbehindme.IgotbetweenherandtheLilin.“Isaid,donottouchher.Donotlookather.Donotevenbreatheinherdirection.Youdoso,andIwillripyourheadfromyour

shouldersandpunt-kickitoutawindow.”TheLilinjerked,dancinga

stepbackward.Itspitch-blackeyeswidened.Shocksplashedacrossitsfaceandthenitslipscurledback.“That’snotplayingfair.”Whatintheworld?Was

thatfearIsawinitsface?“DoIlooklikeIcare?”“Oh,you’regoingto.”The

Lilinbacktracked,moving

towardthedoor.“You’resogoingtocare.”ThentheLilinwasgone,

spinningrightaroundandexitingthehousewithaquicknessthatleftmestandingthere,staringfoolishlyattheemptydoorway.Ididn’tunderstand.TheLilinhadn’tbattedaneyelashatZayneorRoth,butI’dshiftedformsandithadtuckeditstailandrunaway?

Uh.“Well,that

was...anticlimactic.”Iturnedaroundslowly,tuckingmywingsback.ThefirstoneIsawwasZayne.He’dreturnedtohishuman

form.Zaynealways,evenwhenheappearedexhausted,could’vesteppedoutofaTownandCountrymagazine.Hisgoodlookswentbeyondall-Americanandstraightinto

swoonville,populationeverygirlontheplanet.HelookedlikeIimaginedangelswould.Vibrantblueeyesandnear-heavenlyfeatures,buthestaredatmewithhismouthhangingslightlyopen.Hisabsolutelygorgeousfacewaspale,whichmadetheunforgivingshadowsunderhiseyesstandoutstarkly.Hestaredatmelikehe’dneverseenmebefore,whichwas

bizarre,becausehe’dgrownupwithme.Ifeltlikesomekindofspecimen.Atrickleofuneaseran

downmyspineasmygazeswitchedtothecouch.Atsomepoint,ZaynehadmovedclosertowhereStaceyhadlanded.Iexpectedtofindherrockinginaball,butshetoogapedatme,herhandspressedagainsthercheeks,andanyothertimeIwould’ve

laughedatthatexpression.Notnow.Myheartratekickedinto

overdriveasIswungtowardthebackoftheroom,whereRothwasstanding.Mygazecollidedwitheyesthecolorofamber.Hiswerewide,hispupilsvertical.Evenso,hewasasighttobehold.Rothwas—well,therewas

noonethatwalkedthisearththatlookedquitelikehim.

Probablyhadtodowiththefactthathewasinnowayhuman,buthewasstunning.Alwayshadbeen,evenwhenhe’dstyledtheblackhairintospikes.Ipreferredthelesserlookherockednowwithhishairfallingoverhisforehead,brushingthetipsofhisearsandthearchesofequallydarkeyebrows.Goldeneyeswereslightlyslantedattheoutercorners.Hehadcheekbones

andajawyoucouldcutglasswith,afaceanyartistwoulddietosketch—ortouch.Andthosefull,expressivelipswereparted.Histawnyskinwasn’tpale

andhedidn’tgapeatmelikeIbelongedunderamicroscope,buthewaswatchingmeinastonishmentjustasZaynehad.Theuneaseturnedinto

ballsofdread,settlingheavily

inmystomach.“What?”Iwhispered,glancingaroundtheroom.“Whyareyouallstaringatmelike...likethere’ssomethingwrongwithme?”Itcouldn’thavebeen

becauseI’dtoldtheLilinI’driphisheadoff.Yeah,Iwasalittlelessviolentonmostdays,butinthepastweekorso,I’dthoughtIwastheLilin,hadbeenkissedby

Zayneandnearlytookhissoul,wassubsequentlychainedandheldincaptivitybytheveryclanthathadraisedme,wasalmostkilledbythatsameclan—deepbreath—wasthenhealedthankstoRothandamysterybrewprovidedbyacovenofwitcheswhoworshippedLilith,andnowI’djustdiscoveredthatmybestfriendwasdead,hissoulwas

inHell,andtheLilinhadtakenhisplace.You’dthinkagirlcouldbecutalittleslack.Rothclearedhisthroat.

“Shortie,look...lookatyourhand.”Lookatmyhand?Whyin

theworldwouldhebeaskingmetodothatinthemidstofallthecray?“Doit,”hesaidquietlyand

toogently.Thedreadexplodedinmy

gutlikebuckshot,andmygazedroppedtomylefthand.Iexpectedtoseetheweirdmarblingofblackandgray,amixtureofthedemonandWardenthatexistedinsideofmeandacombinationI’dbecomealmostfamiliarwithbynow.Mynailshadlengthenedandsharpened,andIcouldtelltheywerehardenoughtocutthroughsteel,ashardasmyskin,but

myskin...itwasstillpink.Reallypink.“Whatthe...?”Mygaze

traveledtomyotherhand.Itwasthesame.Justpink.Mywingstwitched,remindingmethatIhadshifted.Zayneswallowed.

“Your...yourwings...”“Whataboutmywings?”I

almostscreeched,reachingbehindme.“Aretheybroken?Didtheynotcomeout—”

Thetipsofmyfingerscameintocontactwithsomethingassoftassilk.Myhandjerkedback.“What...”Stacey’swateryeyeshad

doubledinsize.“Um,Layla,there’samirrorabovethefireplace.Ithinkyouneedtolookinit.”ImetRoth’sgazefora

secondbeforeIspunaroundandallbutrantothefireplaceIwassureStacey’smomhad

neverused.Clutchingthewhitemantel,Istaredatmyreflection.Ilookednormal,likeIdid

beforeIshifted...likeIwasgoingtoclassorsomething.Myeyeswerethepalestshadeofgray,awatered-downblue.Myhairwassoblonditwasalmostwhite,andamessofwavesthatwentineverydirectionlikeusual.Ilookedlikea

colorlesschinadoll,whichwasnothingnew,exceptforthetwofangsjuttingoutofmymouth.Iwouldn’tshowthemoffatschool,butthatwasn’twhatcaughtmyattentionandheldit.Itwasmywings.Theywerelarge,notas

massiveasZayne’sorRoth’s,andnormallytheywerealmostleatheryintexture,butnowtheywereblack...black

andfeathered.Likelegitfeathered.Thatsoft,silkythingI’dfelt?Ithadbeentinyfeathers.Feathers.“OhmyGod,”Iwhispered

atmyreflection.“Ihavefeathers.”“Thosearedefinitely

featheredwings,”Rothcommented.Iwhippedaround,

knockingoveralampwith

myfeatheredrightwing.“Ihavefeathersonmywings!”Rothcockedhisheadtothe

side.“Yeah,youdo.”Hewasabsolutelynohelp,

soIturnedtoZayne.“WhydoIhavefeathersonmywings?”Zayneshookhishead

slowly.“Idon’tknow,Layla.I’veneverseenanythinglikethis.”“Liar,”hissedRoth,

shootinghimadarklook.“You’veseenthatbefore.SohaveI.”“Ihaven’t,”mumbled

Stacey,who,bythispoint,hadtuckedherlegsagainstherchestandreallylookedlikeshewouldberockingatanygivenpoint.Untilrecently,Staceyhadn’tknownwhatRothreallywas.Shehadn’tevenknownaboutme.Thishadtobetoomuch

forher.“Okay.Howandwhyhave

youseenthisbefore?”Idemanded,dragginginairtoofast.“AmIgoingtohavetoshavemywingsnow?”“Shortie...”Roth’slips

twitched.Iraisedmyhand,pointing

myfingerathim.“Don’tyoudarelaugh,youjerk-face!Thisisnotfunny.Mywingsarefreaksofnature!”

Heliftedhishands.“I’mnotgoingtolaugh,butIthinkyoushouldleavetherazorsalone.Besides,lotsofthingshavefeathersintheirwings.”“Likewhat?”Idemanded.

WeretherestillmoresupernaturalcreaturesIwasunfamiliarwith?“Like...likehawks,”he

answered.Mybrowsfurrowed.

“Hawks?Hawks?”

“Andeagles?”“I’mnotabird,Roth!”

Patienceleakedoutofme.“WhydoIhavefeathersonmywings?”Ishrieked,thistimeatZayne.“You’veseenthisbefore?Where?Someonetellme—”Underneathme,thefloor

begantotremble,cuttingmeoff.Theshudderincreased,travelingupthewalls,shakingthemirrorand

rattlingtheframedpictures.Plumesofplasterpuffedfromtheceiling.Thehousequakedandaloudrumblebecamedeafening.Staceypoppedupfromthe

couch,grabbingZayne’sarm.“What’shappening?”Wingsforgotten,I

exchangedalookwithZayne.Somethingaboutthiswasalltoofamiliar.I’dfeltthisbefore,when—

Blindinggoldenlightstreamedinthroughthewindowsandthetinycracksinthewallandfrombetweenthewoodenboardsofthefloor.Soft,luminouslightcreptalongtheceiling,drippingdownward.Ijumpedtotheside,narrowlyavoidinggettinghitwiththesplatter.IclearlyrememberedwhathadhappenedthelasttimeI’dbeenstupidenoughtotouch

thelight.Mykindnevercould.

NeithercouldRoth.“Shit,”hemuttered.Myheartstoppedasthe

rumblewascutoffandthebeautifulglowdisappeared.Inaflash,Rothwasbesideme,onehandcurledaroundmyupperarm.Staceysniffedtheair.

“Whydoesitsmelllikewe’rebeingsuffocatedindryer

sheets?”Shewasright;anewscent

permeatedtheair.Tome,itwasmuskyandsweet.Heaven...heavensmelledlikewhateveryouwanteditto,whateveryoutrulydesiredmostintheworld,anditwasdifferentforeveryone.ZayneshovedStacey

behindhim,andIhadafeelingRothwasabouttodragournonangelicbuttsout

ofthere,butafissureofpowerradiatedthroughouttheroom.Thesweetaromathatfilledmewithyearningwasreplacedbycloverandfrankincense.Warmthtraveleddownmyback,andIknewweweretoolatetomakeanescape.Ohno.Staceygasped.“Ohmy...”

Hereyesrolledbackinherheadandherkneesgaveout.

Shefoldedlikeanaccordion.Zaynecaughtherbeforeshesmackedintothefloor,andIdidn’treallyhavetimetoworryabouther.Weweren’talone.Ididn’twanttoturn

around,butIcouldn’thelpit.Ihadto,becauseIwantedtoseethem.Ihadtoseethembeforetheywipedmeoffthefaceoftheplanet.Rothmust’vefeltthesame,

becausehealsoturned.Therewasasoftglowreflectingoffhischeeks.HesquintedandIlookedtowardthedoorway.Twoofthemstoodthere

likesentries,nearlysevenfeettallorpossiblyevenbigger.Theyweresobeautifulitwasalmostpainfultolookupon.Hairthecolorofwheatandtheirskinshimmered,catchingandabsorbingthelightallaroundthem.They

wereneitherblacknorwhitenoranyshadeinbetween,butsomehowallcolorsatonce,andtheyworesomekindoflinenpants.Theorbsoftheireyeswerepurewhite—noirisesorpupils.Justwhitespace,andIdimlywonderedhowtheycouldsee.Theirchestsandfeetwerebare.TheirshoulderswereasbroadasanyWarden’sandtheirwingsweremagnificent,a

brilliantwhitespanningatleasteightfeetoneithersideofthem.Theirwingswerealso

feathered.Unlikemine,though,those

feathershadhundredsofeyesinthem,actualeyeballs.Eyeballsthatdidnotblink,butroamedconstantlyandseemedtotakeineverythingatonce.Eachofthecreatureshelda

goldensword,arealfreakingsword—aswordthatlookedlikeitwasthelengthofmyleg.ThewholecombinationwaspossiblythefreakiestthingI’deverseen,andI’dseenalotoffreakythingsinmyseventeenyearsoflife.Theywerehere,theones

thatranthislittleshowcalledlife,who’dcreatedtheWardensandwho,todemons,weretheequivalent

oftheboogeyman.Neverinthehistoryofeverhadtheybeeninthepresenceofanyonewithatraceofdemonicbloodinthemwithoutendingtheirlivesimmediately.Ifeltmywings—my

featheredwings—tuckclosetomyback.Idon’tevenknowwhyItriedtohidethematthispoint,butIwasaweebitself-conscious.

However,Iwasn’twillingtoshiftintomyhumanform,notinthepresenceofthesebeings.Icouldn’tstopstaringat

them.Aweandfearwarredinsideme.They...theywereangelsandtheirfeatheredwingspracticallyglowed,theyweresobright.I’dneverbeenallowedanywherenearthem,notevenwhentheycametotheWardens’

compoundtomeetwithAbbot,theclanleader.I’dalwaysbeenforcedtoleavethepremises,andIneverthoughtI’deverseethem.Anirresponsibleurgetogo

tothemhitmehardinthechest,andittookeverythinginmetoignoreit.Ibreathedindeeply,andtheysmelledwonderful.Rothjerkedsuddenly,and

myheartlodgedsomewhere

inmythroat.Fearpouredintome.Hadtheydonesomethingtohim?ThenIsawit.Ashadowdriftedoffhim,spillingintotheairinfrontofus.I’dalsoseenthatbefore.Ithappenedwheneverthetattooedfamiliarscameoffhisskin.Iknewitwasn’tBambior

thekittens,becausethisshadowcamefromthegeneralvicinityofhis...well,

prettymuchwherethebeltonhisjeanswas.Onlyonetattooexistedthere,theonlyoneI’dneverseen.Thedragonfamiliarthat

Rothhadwarnedonlycameoffhisskinwhentheshithitthefanorhewasseriouslypissed.TheAlphaswerehere,and

Thumperhadfinallycomeouttoplay.

two

BRACINGMYSELFFORtheappearanceofalargeandverydestructivedragon,Itensedandheldmybreath.Weallweregoingtodiehorrible,burningdeaths.Theshadowwashugeasit

shiftedintothousandsoflittleblackdotsthatspuntogetherintheair,likeaminicyclone,

takingshapeandform.Secondspassedasiridescentblueandgoldscalesappearedalongthebellyandthebackofthedragon.Deepredwingssprouted,aswellasalong,proudsnoutandclawedhindlegs.ItseyesmatchedRoth’s,abrightyellow.Itwasabeautifulcreature.But...thedragonwasabout

thesizeofacat—areallysmallcat.

NotexactlywhatIhadbeenexpecting.Itswingsmoved

soundlesslyasithoveredtotheleftofRoth,itstailwhippingaround.Itwassotinyandso...socute.Iblinkedslowly.

“You...youhavea...apocket-sizedragon?”Zaynesnortedfrom

somewherebehindme.Aheavysighcamefrom

Roth.Eventhoughallourlives

wereindangerandwewereallprobablygoingtodie,therewasdefinitelynolovelostbetweenRothandZayne.Thedragonswiveledits

headinmydirection,openeditsmouthandletoutatinysquawk.Morelikeameep.Acloudofblacksmokepuffedoutfromit.Nofire.Justdarkwispsthatsmelledfaintlyof

sulfur.Mybrowsflewup.“Removethefamiliarfrom

oursight,”anAlphademanded,causingmetowince.Theonewhospokewasstandingtotherightofthedoor,andhisvoicewasimpossiblydeep,reverberatingthroughboththeroomandme.Partofmeexpectedmyeardrumstorupture.Iwassurprisedthatthe

Alphashadn’timmediatelytriedtotakeoutThumper,butthenagain,itwasn’tlikethepocketdragonwasthatmuchofathreat.Roth’sstanceappeared

casual,butIknewhewascoiledtight,readytospringintoaction.“Yeah,that’snotgoingtohappen.”TheAlpha’slipsformeda

sneer.“Howdareyouspeaktome?Icouldendyour

existencebeforeyoutakeyournextbreath.”“Youcould,”Rothreplied

calmly.“Butyouwon’t.”Myeyeswidened.Smack

talkingtotheAlphaswasn’twhatI’dconsiderasmartmove.“Roth,”mutteredZayne.

Hesoundedcloser,butIdidn’twanttotakemyeyesofftheAlphastocheck.“Youmightwanttochilloutabit.”

TheCrownPrincesmirked.“Nah.Youwanttoknowwhy?TheAlphascouldendme,butthey’renotgoingto.”Acrossfromus,theAlpha

whohadspokenstiffenedbutdidn’tinterrupt.“Yousee,Iamthefavorite

CrownPrince,”Rothcontinued,hissmirkspreading.“TheytakemeoutwhenIhaven’tdoneanythingtowarrantitandthey’llhave

theBosstocontendwith.Theydon’twantthat.”Surpriseflickeredthrough

me.Theycouldn’tjustendRothbecauseofwhohewas?I’dalwaysthoughttheycouldsimplydoastheypleased.TheAlphawhohadbeen

silentuptothispointspoke.“Therearerulesforareason.Itdoesnotmeanwehavetolikethem,soI’dsuggestyoudonotpushyourluck,

Prince.”ThenRothdidthe

unthinkable.Heraisedhishandandextendedhismiddlefinger.“Doesthiscountaspushingit,Bob?”Craponacracker,he’d

flippedoffanAlpha!Andhe’dcalledtheAlphaBob!Whodidthat?Seriously?Myjawhitthefloorwhile

theminiatureThumpercoughedoutanothercloudof

smoke.“I’mnotblindedbyyourglory,”Rothsaid.“Yousitonyourloftycloudspassingjudgmentoneverylivingcreaturethereis.Noteverythingisblack-and-white.Youknowthatandyetyourecognizenograyarea.”Sparksofelectricity

crackledfromtheAlpha’sall-whiteeyes.“Oneofthesedays,Prince,youwillmeetyourownfate.”

“AndI’lldosoquitespectacularly,”hequippedback.“LookingdamngoodwhileIdoit,too.”Ibrieflysqueezedmyeyes

shut.OhmyGod...TheAlphaontheright

shifted,hislargehandtighteningonthehiltofthesword,andIhadafeelinghewantedtoshoveitcleanthroughRoth.Ifigureditwastimetoprymytongueoffthe

roofofmymouth.“You’reherebecauseoftheLilin,right?Wewillstophim.”IhadnoideahowwewoulddothatandIprobablyshouldn’tgivesuchanpromisetobeingswhocouldobliteratemeinaheartbeat,butIdidn’tseeachoice.NotonlybecauseIneededtodistractthemfromRoth,butbecausetheLilindidneedstopping.Anythingwithasoulnow

wasindanger.“Ipromise.”“TheWardenswilltake

careoftheLilin.That’swhattheywerecreatedfor—it’stheirjobtoprotectmankind.Iftheydon’t,theywillpaytheultimatepricerightalongwiththedemons,”theAlphawho’dspokenfirstreplied.“Butwe’reheretodealwithyou.”Myheartstoppedagain.

“Me?”

TheAlphaRothhaddubbedBobnarrowedhiseyes.“Youareasacrilegeofthehighestorder.Before,youwereanabominationthatshouldhavebeendealtwith,butnowyou’reaperversitywecannotallowtocontinue.”Rothcockedhisheadtothe

sideasZaynerushedforward.“No!”Zaynesaid,hiswingstuckingback.“Shehasneverdoneanythingto—”

“Oh,really?”theotherAlphareplieddrilyashiswingsarcedhigh.Thosefeather-embeddedeyesswiveledaroundtheroomandthenallofthem—hundredsofthem—focusedonme.“Weseeall,Warden.Justicemustbeserved.”Bobraisedhissword,and

beforeIcoulddoanything,Roth’sarmflewout.Hecaughtmejustabovethe

chest,shovingmeintoZayne.Ibouncedoffhishardchest,andwould’vetoppledrightoffifZaynehadn’tsteadiedmewithhisarmacrossmywaist.Thumper,stillcirclingnear

Roth’sshoulder,letoutanothersqueak——whichturnedintoaroar

thatmadethehouseshakeevenmorethanithadwhentheAlphasshowedup.

Rothloweredhischin,grinning.“AsI’vesaidbefore,sizedoesmatter.”Thumperbegantogrowat

arateIcouldn’teventrack,sproutinglegsthesizeoftreetrunksandclawsthelengthofhooks.Thedragon’sbrightblueandgoldscalesappearedbulletproofanditshindlegsstretcheddowntothefloor,crackingthewoodenboards.Onecrimsonwinghitthe

ceiling,smackingstraightthroughthedrywall.Plasterfellinthickcloudsashisotherwingknockedovertherecliner.TheAlphashouted

something,butitwaslostamidthedragon’slow,humminggrowl.Itlurchedforward,swingingitsmassivespikedtailalongthefloor.Furnitureflewintothewall,demolishingaportrait.A

windowshatteredandcoldairfromoutsidepouredintotheroom.Thumpercametoastopinfrontofus,facingtheAlphasashedrewback,huffingsparksofflameoutofhisnostrils.ThefiredarkenedwhatwasleftoftheceilingasBobcalledoutagain.“Youtakeonesteptoward

herandI’mgoingtofrymyselfupsomeAlpha.”Roth’svoicewaslowand

deadlycalm.“Extra-crispystyle.”OneAlphasteppedback,

butBoblookedlikehewouldblowagasket.“Youdaretothreatenus?”“Idarealotmorethan

that.”Roth’sskinseemedtothin,hisfacebecomingsharpangles.“Iwillnotstandforonehaironherheadtobeharmed.Ifyouwanther,you’regoingtohavetocome

throughme.”Bobsmiledwidelyatthat,

andmystomachplummeted.Rothwasboundanddeterminedtogethimselfkilledbecauseofme.He’dsacrificedhimselftothepits,comebackfromthat,andthengoneagainsthisBossandsavedmylife.TherewasnowayIcouldallowhimtostandbetweenmeanddangeragain.“Stop!”Ibrokefreeof

Zayne’shold,butThumpershifted.Histailswungback,stoppingnotevenaninchfrommyhips.Icouldgonofurther.My

panickedgazedartedfromRothtotheAlphas.“Whateverproblemyouhave,youhaveitwithme.Notthem.Socanwe—”EvenasIspoke,Bobthe

AlphamovedtowardRoth,liftingthefierysword,and

Thumperdidn’tlikethat.Rearingback,hestretchedouthislongneckandopenedhismouth,revealingfist-sizefangs.Thescentofsulfurincreased,andthenaburstoffireshotoutofThumper’smouth.Apain-filledshriekended

abruptly,andwhereBoboncestoodwasjustacharredpileofashes.Everyonestoodperfectly

still.Noonespokeorevenappearedtobreathe.Andthen,“Makethatextra-extra-crispystyle,”Rothsaid,studyingthemess.MykneeswentweakasI

liftedmyhandshelplessly.ThumperspunontheotherAlpha.Therewasaseriesofsickeningcrunches,andthenthedragonlookedoveritsshoulder,itsgoldeneyesfindingmineasitopenedits

mouth.Ashimmeryblueliquidstaineditsteethasithuffedoutasoundthatreallysoundedlikeathroatychuckle.BambihadeatenaWarden.Thumperhadeatenan

Alpha.Thesefamiliarswerereally

lowonmanners.Moreimportant,Ihadn’t

knownanythingcouldactuallykillanAlpha,much

lesseatone.“Oh—oh!”Stacey

shrieked,andIturnedsideways,justintimetoseeherallbutsqueezeherselfintothetwobackcushionsofthecouch.“There’sadragoninmyhouse!Adragon!”Guessshewasstilltoooutofitfromfaintingtorememberthere’dbeenangelsinherhouse,too.“Thumper,”Rothcalled.

“Returntome.”Thedragonbelchedouta

thickcloudofsmokeandturnedaround.Ijumpedoutofthewayofitstail,asdidZayne.Thefireplacewasn’taslucky.Thatlethaltailsmackedintoit,knockingahandfulofbricksloose.Theyhitthefloor,breakingintopieces.Thumpershiftedhisheavyweightfromsidetoside.

Zaynefrowned.“Isit...stompingitsfeet?”Rothrolledhiseyes.“He

doesn’tgetoutmuch.”“Forobviousreasons,”

Staceymumbled.Thumperliftedhistailand

slammeditdown,crackingwhatwasleftofthefloorandearningasighfromRoth.Thedragonshookitshead,thenshudderedbeforeshrinkingbackdowntoitscute,pocket-

sizeform.ThumperfinallyreturnedtoRoth,settlingonthesideofhisfaceasasmallshadowthatquicklyraceddownhisneckandunderthecollarofhisshirt.Iwasstruckabsolutely

silentandwasbarelyawareofshiftingbackintomyhumanstate.Mythoughtsracedfromonebadsituationtothenext.SamastheLilin.Myfeatheredwings.Alphas

poppingin.Thumper—“Momissogoingtokill

me,”Staceywhispered,clutchingabeigethrowpillowtoherchest.Shelookedup.“HowamIgoingtoexplainthis?”Rothpursedhislips.“Gas-

lineexplosion?”Staceyrepeatedthewordsdimlyashecontinued.“Icantorchtheplace,makeitalittlemoreauthentic.Won’tdamagethe

upstairsifyoudon’twantmeto.”“Hadalotofpracticewith

this,haveyou?”Zayneaskeddrily.“Ah,whenThumpercomes

off,it’salwaysgoodtogowiththeoldgas-lineexcuse.It’shandy.”Rothturnedtome.“Youokayoverthere?”WasIokay?Angermixedwithfear—

fearforhim.Istaredfora

momentandthenIshottowardhim.“Whatwereyouthinking?”Haulingback,Ismackedhischest.“YouthreatenedanAlpha!”Ismackedhimagain,harderthistime,enoughtosting.“Ow.”Herubbedhischest,

buthiseyestwinkled.Hethoughtthiswasfunny!Zaynewalkedoverto

wherethepileofashesremained.“Morethanjust

threatened.HeletThumpereatthem.”“Hey,technicallyThumper

friedoneandatetheother,”Rothcorrected,pattinghisstomach,whereThumpernowrested.“OhmyGod!”Thistime

myhandconnectedwithhisarm.“You’regoingtobeinsomuchtrouble,Roth!Somuchtrouble.”Heshruggedashoulder.

“Defendedmyself.”“Defendedmyself.”I

mimickedhim,boppingmyheadbackandforth.“Youcan’tjustgoaroundkillingAlphas,Roth!”“Youkilledthoseangels?”

Staceyasked,soIguessedshedidrememberthem.Hesentheraninnocent

grin.“Well,Ididn’t,but...”“Roth!”Ishouted,backing

awaybeforeIstartedchoking

theever-lovinglifeoutofhim.“Thisisnotajoke.You—”Hewasdamnfastwhenhe

wantedtobe.Onesecondhewasseveralfeetawayfrommeandthenexthewasthere,claspingthesidesofmyface.Heloweredhisheadsohewaseyelevelwithme.“Therearerules,Shortie.”“But—”“Rulesthateventhe

Alphashavetoabideby.Theycannotattackmewithoutphysicalprovocation.Iftheydo,theyticktheBossoff,andthentheBossretaliatesinawaythatmakeswhattheLilincoulddolooklikechild’splay.I’mnotjustsomerandomdemon.I’mtheCrownPrince.Theytookaswingatme,andIdefendedmyself.Endofstory.”Buthehadprovokedthem

—maybenotphysically,buthewasn’taninnocentbystanderinthis.Astheshockebbed,therewasadifferentkindofbitterpilltoswallow.WhatifRothhadgottenhisruleswrong?WhatifmoreAlphaswereevennowonthewaytoavengetheirbrethren?“I’mgoingtobeokay.”

Hiseyesheldmineashesteppedcloser,lininghis

bootedfeetupwithmine.“Nothingisgoingtohappentome.Ipromise.”“Youcan’tmakethat

promise,”Iwhispered,searchinghisgazeintently.“Noneofuscan.”Hishandsslidbackandhe

curledhisfingersinmyloosehair.“Ican.”Thosetwowordswerelike

throwingdownagauntlettothewholeuniverse.Ilowered

mygazeashedraggedmyhairback,tuckingbothsidesbehindmyears.Itwasthen,asheslowlywithdrewhishands,thatIrememberedwewerenotalone.Ijerkedbackandmygaze

collidedwithZayne’s.Foramoment,IletmyselfreallyseeZayne.Ihadn’talmostkilledhim.Ihadalmostdonesomethingmuch,muchworsethanthat.WhenaWarden

losttheirsoul,theyturnedintoahorrificcreature.Iknewthatforafact,becauseI’dseenwhathadhappenedtoaWardenaftertheirsoulhadbeentakenfromthem.I’dalmostdonethattoZayne,andhewasstillhere,standingbymyside.Aholeopenedupinmy

chestasIsawthekeenwarinessinhisstare.Mystomachtwistedsomething

awfulandIopenedmymouth,butIdidn’tknowwhattosay.Myheartandheadweresuddenlytearingintwoverydifferentdirections.Fortunately,Ididn’tgetthechancetosayanything.“Ileaveyoualonefora

fewhours,andyouletThumperfryandeatanAlpha.”Yelping,Ispunaroundas

Staceyscreamed.Cayman

stoodinthecenterofthedestroyedlivingroom.He’dcomeoutofnowhere.Poof.There.Heworedarktrousersandawhitedressshirtheappearedtohavegottenboredwithwhenitcametobuttoningitup,andhisblondhairwasloosearoundhisangularface.Whenitcametothedemonpeckingorder,RothhadonceexplainedthatasanInfernalRuler,Cayman

wasmiddlemanagement.Hewaskindoflikethedemon-of-all-trades,andIhadafeelinghewasmorethanjusta...um,coworkerofRoth’s.WhetherRothclaimeditornot,theywerefriends.“Thatwasquick,”Roth

commented,foldinghisarmsacrosshischest.Caymanshrugged.“It’sa

signofthetimes,man.It’llprobablybeonsomeAlpha’s

Facebookwallwithinthehour.”AlphashadFacebook

accounts?Staceywasholdingthe

throwpillowtohermouthnow,andallthatwasvisiblewereherhuge,darkbrowneyes.Whenshespoke,hervoicewasmuffled.“Whoisthat?”Istartedtoexplain,but

Caymanbowedinher

direction,extendinghisarmwithaflourish.“Onlythemosthandsomeandsmartestanddownrightmostcharmingdemonthereis.ButIknowthat’samouthful,soyoucancallmeCayman.”“Um.”Hergazedarted

aroundtheroom.“Okay.”Zayne’sskinhaddarkened

inaclearindicationthathewasclosetoshiftingagain,andIhopedhekeptitcool.

Caymanwasafriend,andthelastthingweneededwasthetwoofthemgettingintoit.“IsRothintrouble?”“Shortie,I’m—”Iraisedmyhand,cutting

himoff.“Shushit.Cayman,isheintrouble?”Caymangrinned.“Ithink

thebetterquestionis—whenishenotintrouble?”Narrowingmyeyes,Ihad

toadmitthatwasagood

point.“Okay.Isheinmoretroublethanhenormallyis?”“Ah...”Hisgazeshifted

towardRoth,andthenhisgrinspreadintoadevilishsmile.Hewasthoroughlyenjoyinghimself.“Let’sjustsaythattheBossisnotpleasedwithwhatjustwentdownhere.Actually,theBossistickedoffaboutalotofthings,andifRothgoesdownbelowanytimesoon,he

probablywon’tbeleavingforawhile.Likeforacoupleofdecades.”Igasped.“That’snot

good.”SomuchfortheBossbeingonRoth’sside.“Couldbeworse,”Roth

said,smirking.Caymannodded.“Ifyou

wantthetruth,IthinktheBosssecretlywaspleasedwithwhatThumperdid,butyouknow...politics.”He

sighedwhileIraisedmybrows.“Ruinseverythingfun.”Mytempleswerestarting

toache.“Todayhasbeen...”“Unbelievable?”offered

Stacey.Droppingthepillow,shepressedthepalmsofherhandsunderhereyes.Herexpressionwaspaleandstrained.Herhandsshookasshewipedbeneathhereyes.InoddedslowlyasIturned

around.MygazemetRoth’sandthenZayne’s.Bothofthemstaredatme,waiting.IwantedtopretendthatIdidn’tknowwhattheywerewaitingfor,butthatwouldbealie.Andthatwouldalsomake

meacoward.Weightlandedonmy

shouldersasIrubbedmyfingersalongmytemples.Therewassomuchwe

neededtofigureout.“Weneedtotakecareofthis.”Igesturedattheruinedroom.Thescentofsulfurlingered,andpartofmewasgratefultohavesomethingimmediatetofocuson.“SoStaceydoesn’tgetintrouble.”“Muchappreciated,”she

said,andwhenIglancedather,Isawherdraggingherhandsthroughherhair.Rothsteppedup.“Why

don’tyouguysheaddowntotheCakesandThingsbakerywhileItakecareofthis.Youcandothat?”ThequestionwasdirectedatZayne,whonodded.“Iwillkeepthemsafe,”

Zaynerepliedinaleveltone.Rothhesitated,andthenhe

tookadeepbreath.“IfotherWardensshow—”“Iwillprotectbothofthem

fromwhateverorwhoever

maycomeatthem,”Zayneassuredhim.Hedrewinadeepbreath.“Even...evenifitismyclan.”“AndIcanalsoprotect

myself,”Ithrewin,earninganamusedglancefromRoth.“What?Trustme.Anyofmy...myoldclancomesinmydirection,I’mnotgoingtoopenmyarmstohugthem.”Iignoredthewaveofdreadthatsurfacedwiththe

thoughtofcomingface-to-facewiththemagain.“Well,exceptNicolaiandDez.Ithinktheykindof—”“Shortie,”Rothsaid.Isighed.“Whatever.Let’s

go.”TurningtoStacey,Iwalkedovertogentlyprythepillowshe’dpickedupagainloosefromherwhite-knucklegrip.“Youokaytogooutthere?”Sheblinkedonceandthen

twice.“Whataremyoptions?IstayinherewhileRothtorchestheplace?No,thankyou.”Goodtoseethatevenafter

thedaywe’dhad,Staceycouldstillbeasmart-ass.RothstrodeuptoCayman,

placinghishandontheotherdemon’sshoulder.“Iwantyoutokeepaneyeout,okay?”Thelistofthingsthat

Caymanwouldbekeepinganeyeoutforwasastronomical.“Word.”Cayman

disappeared.Poof.Gone.Shakingmyhead,I

refocusedonStacey.Tearsfilledhereyesasshepeeredupatmethroughdamplashes.“Sam’s...He’sdead,isn’the?”Iplacedthepillowonthe

couchbesideherandkneltdown.Aburningknotof

emotionformedinthebackofmythroat.“Yeah.Heis.”Shesqueezedhereyesshut

asatremorrolledthroughher.“Irememberyoualltalkingaboutthe...theLilinandwhatitdoestopeople.IfSam’sdead,thenhissoul...”HissoulwasinHell.I

knewthat.Staceyalreadyknewthat.Everyoneinthisroomknewthat,andtherecouldbenothingmore

horrificthanbeingtrappedinHell.Hedidn’tdeserveallthehorrifyingthingsthathappenedtosoulsthere.Wrappingmyhands

aroundStacey’s,Isqueezedthemtight.“IpromisewewillgetSam’ssouloutofHell.Ipromise.”

three

“YOUSHOULDN’THAVEmadethatpromise,”ZaynesaidquietlythemomentStaceyhitthegirls’bathroomatthebakeryseveralblocksfromherhouse.I’dtriedtogowithher,butshestatedquitefirmlythatsheneededafewmomentsalone.Isatintheboothclosestto

thewindow,watchingthepeoplerushingoutside,theiraurasadizzyingwashofcolors.Itwassoweirdtoseetheaurasagain.ApartofmehadgottenusedtonotseeingthemwhileBambihadbeenonme,andI’dforgottenhowdistractingtheycouldbe.“Whynot?”Zayneslidinacrossfrom

me.Concernpinchedhisfeatures.“Howareyougoing

togetSam’ssouloutofHell,Layla?RothmaybetheCrownPrince,butIseriouslydoubtthatissomethingthathecanaskfor,evenifhewasongoodtermswiththem.Hellisn’tjustgoingtohandSam’ssoulrightover.”“Ihadn’tgottenthatfarin

myplan.”Actually,I’dbeenhopingthatitwassomethingthatRothcouldhelpusoutwith.Afterall,beingthe

CrownPrincemeanthecouldjustgoaroundlettingThumperfryandeatAlphas.“Butit’ssomethingwehavetodo.Zayne,he’smybestfriend.”Myvoicecracked,andIfeltmytenuouscontrolovermyemotionsstarttoslip.“Evenifhewasn’t,Icouldn’tleavehimthere.Hedidn’tdeservethis.God,Zayne,Samdidnotdeservethis.”

“Iknow.”Zaynedippedhischin,hisgazeneverleavingmine.“I’mnotsuggestingthatweforgetabouthim.”“Wehavetodo

something,”Ireiterated,drawinginadeepbreathasIleanedbackagainstthebooth,restingmyhandsonthesmoothtable.IglancedbacktowardwhereStaceyhaddisappeared.She’daskedfortime,butitwassohardto

giveittoher.Consideringeverythingthathadhappened,Iwassurprisedthatwecouldsithereandtalknormally.“AndthenweneedtofigureoutwhattodoabouttheLilin,andthenwe—”“Hey,slowdownfora

second.”Zaynereachedacrossthetable,foldinghishandovermine.Istudiedhimasmyheartturnedoverheavily.AnytimeIlookedat

himnow,Isawthesmudgesunderhiseyes,andIsawthedulledauraaroundhim.Icouldn’tun-seethat.“Iknowalotofcrazystuffjustwentdown,butyou’vebeenthroughalot.Weneedtotalkaboutit.”Ireallydidnotwanttotalk

aboutanyofthat,becausetherewasagoodchanceIcouldn’thandleit.Zaynehadotherideas.“Do

youknowhowharditisformetositontheothersideofthisboothandnotreachacrossandpullyouagainstme?Justtomakesureyoureallyarealive?”heasked,andmybreathcaughtattherawhonestyinhiswords.“Whathappenedwasn’tyourfault.Youneedtoknowthat.Myclan—ourclan—andmyfathernevershouldhavedonewhattheydid.”

Idroppedmygazetohishand,theonethatheldmineandhadheldmineforsomanyyears.IclosedmyeyesandimmediatelysawZaynelyingonthefloorofmybedroom,paleandstill.IrememberedthewayAbbot,theWardenthathadraisedme,hadlookedatmewhenhefoundhisson,staredatmelikeIwasamonsterhehadhelpedcreate.Pressure

clampeddownonmychestasIrecalledthepanickedflightthroughthecompound,mydesperateattempttoescapeandthefailure.Failurethathadendedwith

mebeingcagedanddrugged,leftaloneinthedarkwithnohopeofeverseeingthedaylightagain.Icouldstillsmellthemustyscentthathadlingeredinthebasementofthecompound,feelthechains

thathadboundmewhenI’dbeenmovedtothesecretwarehouse.“Layla?”Ashudderrolledthrough

measIremindedmyselfIwasn’tinthatcageanymore.Iopenedmyeyesandforcedthosedarkthoughtsoutofmyhead.“Iappreciateyousaying

that.You’reright.Whattheydidtomewaswrong.Iget

thattheythoughtIwastheonecausingtroublearoundthecompound—heck,evenIthoughtIwasadangertoeveryone,buttheywenttoofar.”Mywordskindof

surprisedme.I’dalwaysdefendedAbbot,butIcouldn’tmakeexcusesforhisactionsorthoseofthemajorityofmyclan.Allthesoul-searchingI’ddoneafter

wakingupfromtheblow,thewounddeliveredtomeinfrontofAbbot,hadchangedwhoIwasattheverycore.Therewasnodoubtaboutthat.“Theyactedasthejurywithsomereallycrappycircumstantialevidence,andthentheybecamethejudgeandtheexecutioner.Icould’vedied.Iwould’vediedifithadn’tbeenforDez—andbytheway,howmuch

troubleareheandNicolaiin?”DezandNicolaihadrisked

everythingbyalertingRothtowhatwashappening.Iftheyhadn’tdonethat,Iwouldn’thavebeensittinghererightnow.Zayne’slashesloweredas

hisexpressioncontorted.“Atfirst,thereweretalksofcastingthemout,”hesaid,andIsuckedinabreath.

Castingthemoutmeantthey’dbedisownedfromtheclan,whichwashorribleenoughforasinglemale,butDezhadamateandtwolittlebabies.“ButoncewerealizedthatitwasPetrwreakinghavocaroundthehouse,Abbotbegantoseethelight.NicolaiandDezaresafe.”Witheverythingthathad

happened,I’dforgottenthatZaynehadtoldmethey’d

discoveredPetr’swraith,caughtoncamera.Reliefcoursedthroughme.I’d...I’dkilledtheyoungWardeninself-defensewhenheattackedme,carryingouthisfather’sorders.Elijah.Who’dalsoturnedouttobemyrealfather,sothatmeantPetr,who’dbeentheworstkindofboytherewas,wasmyhalfbrother.Thatstillsickenedme.SinceI’dsuckedout

Petr’ssoul,he’dbecomeawraith.“Youcould’vedied,too.I

could’vetakenyourwholesoul,”Icontinued,keepingmyvoicelow.Thatwasthegiftmymother,Lilith,hadleftmewith—thewonderfulabilitytosuckoutsoulswithasinglekiss.Anyonewhohadonewasindangeriftheygotanywherenearmymouth,whichupuntilrecentlyhad

putarealdamperonthewholedatingbusiness.ButthenRothhadshown

up,andasademon,hewasintheno-soulcategory.Atfirst,I’dloathedhisveryexistence,andlookingback,ithadalottodowithhowhiswordsandactionsmademequestioneverythingtheWardenshadtaughtme.Bynature,demonsweren’tsomethingyou’dinviteinfordinner,butnotall

ofthemwerethewretchedcreaturesI’dbeenconditionedtoabhortoanear-fanaticaldegree.Theyhadtheirpurpose,too.EverysecondI’dspentwithRoth,I’dfallenalittleharderforhim,andI’dsharedsomuchwithhimbeforehe’dsacrificedhimselftosaveZaynefromthefierypitsofHell.I’dthoughtI’dlosthimthen,buthe’dreturned—only

thingshadbeendifferentbetweenuswhenhehad.Rothhaddistancedhimself,toprotectme.ToshieldmefromAbbot.Thentherewaseverything

thathadhappenedwithZayne.I’dbeenraisedwithhim,spentyearsidolizingandlovinghimfromafar.Forthelongesttime,he’dbeenmyeverything,buthe’dbeenaWardenandI’donlybeen

halfWarden—andworse,halfdemon.Betweenhissoulandmygeneticbackground,he’dbeenoff-limits.Afriendshipwithhim,thebondweshared,hadbeenaglimpseofafuturethateveryfemaleWardenwasassuredofbutthatwasneveronthetableforme.Thatknowledgehaddonenothingtostopmygrowingfeelings,andwhenRothhadreturnedfromthe

pits,pushingmeaway,he’dpushedmerightintothearmsofZayne,theboyIneverthoughtwouldreturnmyaffections.I’dbeenwrongaboutthat.I’dbeenwrongaboutalot

ofthings.Zayne’seyesflewopen.

“Butyoudidn’t.”“Barely.”Thatpressure

returned,weighingonmeasIfeltagainthehorrorofthe

nightIrealizedI’dbeenfeedingonZayneinsteadof...insteadofkissinghimback.“IcanseewhereI’vetakensome.Icantellinyouraura.”“I’mfine—”“Nothankstome.The

onlyreasonI’dbeenableto...tokissyoubeforethenwasbecauseofBambi.Whenshewasonme,Icouldcontrolmyabilities.”I

slippedmyhandfree,pressingmylipstogetherasIshookmyhead.“Youcan’toverlookwhatIdidtoyou,andIknowyoucan’tbeahundredpercentokay.”Zaynestaredatme,and

thenheliftedhishand,thrustinghisfingersthroughhishair.“Youstoppedintime.Otherthanfeelingalittletiredand...grumpierthannormal,Iamfine,Layla-

bug.”Myheartsqueezedatthe

useofmynickname.“Grumpierthannormal?”Hisbrowsknittedandfora

moment,Ididn’tthinkhewasgoingtoanswer.“Mytemperiseasiertoignitenowadays.Idon’tknowifthathastodowithwhathappenedbetweenusorifit’sthenaturalresultofeverythingelsegoingonlately.”

IthinkIknewtheanswertothat.Whensomeone’ssoulwasstrippedaway,evenatinypiece,itchangedwhotheywereinsomeway.Maybeitmadesomemorepronetomoodswings,othersmorerecklessandothersviolent.AndapparentlyforZayne,

he’dlostabitofhiskindness,alittleofwhatmadehimabsolutelywonderful,andI

haddonethattohim.Whileithadn’tbeenonpurpose,neitherofus,especiallyme,hadshownanylevelofcommonsensebytryingtobetogether.NeitherofushaddelvedtoodeeplyintowhyallofasuddenIcoulddothingslikekissingwithouttakingasoul.Thenagain,asZaynehad

pointedoutonce,therewasalotmorethatwecould’ve

donethathadn’tinvolvedourmouthstouching.Strangely,sittingacross

fromhim,IrealizedIdidn’tfeelthelongingtofeed.ItwasthefirstthatI’dnoticeditsabsence.Sincemyclanhadturnedonme,I’dbeenstayingwithRothandCayman,andasneitherownedasoul,Ihadn’teventhoughtaboutfeedingonone—somethingthatI’dspent

seventeenyearsfightingtheurgetodo.Now,thoughIwasonce

againsurroundedbysouls,theurgesimplywasn’tthere.Maybetoday’seventshad

shockedmebadenoughthateventhatwasaffected.“I’msorry,”Isaidfinally,

flippingmygazetothestreetbeyondthewindow.ItwasthesecondweekofDecember,andtheskies

aboveWashington,DC,weregrayandthewindbrisk,carryingthescentofsnowintheair.“I’msosorry,Zayne.”“Don’tapologize,”hewas

quicktosay.“Don’teverapologizetome.Idon’tregretanythingthathappenedbetweenus.Notamoment.”DidI?“Anyway,it’snotmeI

wanttotalkabout.Areyouokay?”heasked.“Whatthey

did—”“I’mfine,”Isaid,andit

feltlikealie.“Iwashealedbythewitches.Youknow,theoneswhoworshipLilith.TheygaveCaymansomethingformetodrinkanditworked.”WhichremindedmeofthefactthatCaymanhadtopromisesomethinginreturnandnoneofusknewwhatbargainhe’dstruckyet.“Ihavenoidea

whattheygaveme.”“That’skindof

concerning,”herepliedwryly.Mylipstwitched,and

whenIlookedup,ourgazesmet,andthenheld.Heleanedin,placinghiselbowsontothetable.“Layla,I—”Ashadowfelloverour

table,andwhenIlookedup,IsawStacey’saurafirst.Itwasafaint,mossygreen.A

commoncolor.Puresoulswererare,andthedarkertheshadeoftheaura,themorelikelyitwastheyhadsinned.Stacey’sblotchyfacebrokemyheart.Islidover,sendingZayneaglance.Thelookheworepromisedthatweweren’tdonewiththeconversation.“Howareyoudoing?”I

asked,knowingitwasastupidquestion.

“I’mokay.”Shedidn’tsoundokay.“Ijustneededamomentorfive.”Itwasmoreliketen,butshecouldhaveasmanymomentsassheneeded.Shepaused,smoothingthebackofherhandsoverhercheeks.“I’mokay,right?”Mysmilewasweakas

tearsburnedthebackofmyeyes.“Yes.”Ireachedover,slippingmyarmoverher

shoulders.“Butifyou’renot,that’sokay,too.”Atremorcoursedthrough

herassheleanedin,restingherheadonmyshoulder.Usuallyitwashardifsomeonegotthisclose,butagain,theurgethatexisteddeepwithinwasn’tgnawingatmyinsides.“He’sdead,”shewhispered.Isqueezedmyeyesshut

andforcedmyselftotake

deep,evenbreathstoloosenthemessyknotinmythroat.AllIwantedtodowasholdontoStaceyandbreakdown,becauseSam...God,Samwasgone,anditwaslikeathousandrazorbladeswerechurninginmystomach,butIhadtopullittogetherforStacey.She’dknownSamalotlongerthanme,sincegradeschool,andshehadfalleninlovewithhim.Her

painwasapriorityovermine.Keepingmyarmaround

her,Ididn’tsayanything,becauseIdidn’tknowwhattosayinsituationslikethis.EvenwhenI’dthoughtRothwasgone,Ihadhopethathewasstillalive.Thiswasdifferent.Therewouldbenosurprises.Samwouldnotreappearoneday.Nooneclosetomehadeverdiedbefore,andIknewmymind

hadn’tfullyprocessedtherealityofhimbeinggone.SoIjustheldherasIstaredatthedoor,blindlywatchingthepeoplestreaminginandout.AtsomepointZaynegotupandreturnedwithtwocupsofhotchocolate.Ibarelytastedthesweetness.Idon’tknowhowmuch

timepassedbeforeIfeltthetingleofawarenessalertingmetoademon’spresence.

Acrossfromus,Zaynestiffened,butwhenthedoorclosed,itwasRoth.Hestrolledtoourtable,andZaynescootedover.Normally,Iwould’veburstoutlaughingseeingthemsittingsidebyside.Neitherofthemlooked

exactlycomfortable.Therewasawoodsyscent

thatclungtoRoth’sclothes,asifhe’dbeennearabonfire.

“Tookcareofit,”hetoldStacey.“Yourdownstairsisprettymuchshot.Thefiredepartmentisalreadyontheway.Justrememberyoudidn’tgohomeafterschool.YoucameheretomeetLaylaandZayne.”Swallowinghard,she

noddedasshecircledherhandsaroundthecupofhotchocolate.“Gotit.”Rothtiltedhisheadtothe

side,hisbrowsfurrowedashestudiedher.“You’regoingtodofinewiththis.”WhenStaceynodded

again,hereachedacrossthetable,hishandveeringtotheleft.Hesnatchedupmycupofhotchocolate.Takingasip,hedidn’tevenlookinmydirection.“Helpyourself,”Imuttered

undermybreath.Hislipstwitched.“So

what’sthegameplan,Stony?”Amuscletwitchedalong

Zayne’sjaw.Hehatedthatnickname.“Gameplaninregardstowhatexactly?”“TheLilin,”Rothreplied,

asiftheanswershouldbeobvious.Istiffened.“Idon’tthink

nowisthetimetodiscussthis.”Goldeneyesdriftedfrom

metoStacey.Therewasapause.“Goodpoint.”“No,”Staceysaid,twisting

towardme.“Thisistheperfecttime.”“But—”“Thatthinginmyhouse

wasn’tSam.Itwasn’thim,”shesaid,hervoicerising.Acouplebythedoorglancedoveratuswithfrownsontheirfaces.“Sowhenyoutalkaboutit,theLilin,youaren’t

talkingaboutSam.”Hervoicecaught.“ThatthingisnotSam.”Zayneshiftedforwardin

thebooth.“Areyousure,Stacey?”“Positive,”shewhispered.Chestaching,Iglancedat

theboys,andthennodded.“Okay.”Rothplacedmycupback

downinfrontofmeandthenleanedbackagainstthe

cushionedseat,turninghisheadtowardZayne.“SoundedliketheAlphasmight’vealreadyspokentotheWardens,andifthat’sthecase,Ifinditaweebitinterestingyouhaven’tsaidanything.”“WhenwouldIhavehad

thetimetosaysomethingevenifthatwasthecase?”Zayneretorted,voiceclipped.“BetweenseeingLaylaand

whentheAlphasactuallyshowedup?”Rothliftedhisbrows.“Are

yougettingsnappywithme?”“Whatdoesitsoundlike?”

Zaynereturned.“Idon’tknow.”Aslight

smileformedonhislipsashethrewhisarmalongthebackofthecushion.Isighed,becauseIknewthatlook.“Butyoucatchingatonewithmeisaboutasinterestingas

readinguponthebenefitsofawaterpurificationsystem.”Istaredathim.Onlya

handfulofhoursago,ZaynehadthankedRothforsavingme.Theyhadactuallybeenpolitetoeachother.IguessedIshouldn’tbesurprisedthathadn’tlastedverylong.“Roth.”“Hmm?”Myeyesnarrowed.“Knock

itoff.”

Thesmilespreaduntiltherewasaflashofwhiteteeth.“Anythingforyou,Shortie.”OhLord.Zaynemovedhisgazeto

me,andIcouldn’tdecipherwhatIsawinhisstare.“Idon’tknowiftheAlphashavespokentomyfatheryet.Ihaven’treallybeen...talkingtohimrecently,andtheyhaven’tshowedatthe

compoundwhileI’vebeenthere.”“WhatIdon’tunderstand

iswhytheAlphaswouldthinkthatyourkindwouldbetheonestostoptheLilin.Youhavesouls,thereforeyouhaveamajorvulnerability.”Rothwaseyeingwhatwasleftofmyhotchocolate.“Mykinddoesn’t.”“Notsomethingtogloat

about.”Zayneexhaledloudly,

andIresistedtheurgetobangmyheadagainstthetable.“Look,I’llcheckinandseeifIcanfindanythingout.”“Fine,butwehaveabigger

problem,”Rothwarned.Staceylookedupfromher

cup.“Wedo?”Iwantedtoechothat

statement,becauseIwasn’tsureexactlywhatcouldbebiggerthantakingdownacreaturethatcouldinflictso

muchpainanddestruction.“WhataretheWardens

goingtodooncetheyrealizeLaylaisaliveandwell?”TherewasalowrasptoRoth’svoicethatresembledagrowl.“That’swhatI’mconcernedabout.”Zayne’slipsthinned.

“Theywilldonothing.Theyknowshe’snotthecauseofwhathappened—”“Thatdoesn’tundo

anythingthey’vedone,”Rothcutin.“Ididn’tsaythatitdid.”

ThehandZaynerestedonthetablestartedtodeepentoagranitecolor.“I’mnotgoingtoallowthemtotouchher.”Iopenedmymouthto

pointoutagainthatIwasn’tgoingtoallowthemtotouchme,butRothgotrightupinZayne’sface.“AndI’mnotgoingtoforgetasinglething

thatwasdonetoher,”hewarned.“Ihaven’tforgottenhowshecamebacktomewithclawmarksonherface.”Suckinginasharpbreath,I

leanedbackagainstthecushionasStaceyturnedtome.“Youwereclawedintheface?”Iclampedmymouthshut

asIstaredather,refusingtolookatZayneorevenRoth,butIdidn’tneedtospare

evenabriefglanceintheirdirectiontoknowthetwohadlockedeyes.WhenZaynehadkissedme,andIhadinadvertentlystartedtofeedonhissoul,he’dbeguntoshiftandhadclawedmeinanattempttobreaktheconnection.Therewasnotasinglepartofmethatthoughthe’dmeanttotrulyhurtme.Rothhadtoknowthat,too.Stacey’seyessearched

mine,andshemust’veseenthetruth,becauseasimpossibleasitseemed,anevengreatersadnessfilledhergaze.“Iwillneverforgive

myselfforthat.”Zayne’squietvoicebrokethetersesilence,andIwhippedaroundtofacehim.Rothtippedhischindown.

“NeitherwillI.”“Stopit.”Iclenchedthe

endofthetable.“Talkingaboutthatisn’tgettingusanyplace.Itdoesn’tmatter.”“Itdoesmatter,”Roth

replied.“Becausenomatterwhat,Iwouldnever,everhurtyou.”Zaynejerkedbackasif

he’dtakenafatalblow.“Butyouhave.”My

knuckleswerestartingtoache.“Youhavehurtme.”Maybenotphysically,but

Rothhadhurtmeinthepast.Wordscouldcutjustasdeepassharpenedclaws,andwhiletheskincouldheal,thewoundswordsleftbehindneverfadedasquickly.Hemight’vebeentryingtoprotectme,butthathadn’tlessenedthestingonebit.Roth’sgazemetmine,and

thenhisthicklasheslowered,shieldinghiseyes.Silent,hesatbackandfoldedhisarms

acrosshischest.Zaynestaredatthetabletop,alockofblondhairfallinginhisface.Tensionseepedfrombothofthem,andmyskinfeltlikeitwasstretchedtoothin.Stacey’sphonerangand

shedugitoutofherbagwithashakinghand.Shestartedtostand.“It’sMom.”Glancingatmewithwateryeyes,shelookedyearsyounger.“Icandothis.”

“Youcandothis.”Ireachedoutandsqueezedherarmthroughhersweater.Hereyeshadawild,panickedlookaboutthem.Iheardheranswerthe

phoneasshewalkedovertotheentrydoorandslippedoutside.Mygazetrackedherasshestartedtopacebehindanemptybench.Ijustwantedtocrawlunderthetableandrockforalittlebit.Ifigured

thatcouldn’tbetoomuchtoask.Zayneclearedhisthroat.

“Youknowthis,butyoucan’tgobacktothecompound.There’replacesthatyoucanstay,whereyouwillbesafe.”“Ihaveaplacetostay,”I

toldhim,takingasipofmynow-lukewarmhotchocolate.Hisjawhardened.“With

him?”

Surprisingly,Rothremainedquiet,whichmademefeellikeIneededtocheckifhewasalive.Isetthecupasideandrestedmyarmsonthetable,morethanjustexhausted.Morelikewearytomyverycore.“It’saplacethat’ssafe,”Isaid.“Andyes,it’swithRothandCayman.”Zayneopenedhismouth,

andthenclosedit.Severalsecondspassedandtheyfelt

likethetickofeternity.“Whatareyougoingtodo,Layla?”Thequestioncarriedalot

ofweight,becauseIknewitwentbeyondjustwhereIwasstayingforthenightorthenextcoupleofdays.TherewassomuchIdidn’tknowtheanswerto.Schoolwasupintheair.WhereIwouldbelivingwascompletelyundecided.Howwecould

defeattheLilinorsaveSam’ssoulstillunknown.IhadnoideawhatwasgoingonwhenIshiftedtoday.Andtherewasmore—therewasRothandZayne,twoverydifferentguysthatIhadlovedandfalleninlovewith.Staceyreturned,savingme

fromhavingtoanswerthequestion.Hermomwasinhysterics,asexpected,andStaceyneededtogotoher

aunt’shouse.Thefourofusheadedout

intothechillyair.StaceyandRothwalkedahead,butIstoppedandturnedaround.Withmyheartbeatingfast,IwalkedbacktowhereZaynestoodbehindthebenchStaceyhadpacednear.Stretchingup,Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhim.Therewasamomentofhesitation,andthenhereturnedtheembrace,

holdingmesotightthatmycheekpressedagainsthischest.Thehugfeltgood,more

thangood.Itwaslikecominghomeafteralongday,anditwashardtobreakawayfromthat.“WhenwillIseeyou

again?”heasked,hisvoicethick.“Soon,”Ipromised.Hisarmstightenedaround

me.“Pleasebesafe,Layla.Please.”“You,too.”“Ofcourse,Layla-bug.”Ilookedupintohiseyes.“I

neverblamedyoufortheclawmarks,sopleasedon’tblameyourselfforsomethingthatIdon’tevenneedtoforgiveyoufor.”

***

RothandIdidn’ttalkonthedrivebacktothehouseacrosstheriver,inMaryland.Istillhadnoideahowthey’dcomeintopossessionoftheMcMansion,onlythatCaymanhadacquireditatsomepoint,andIfigureditwasbestthatIdidn’tasktoomanyquestions.I’dspentseveralhours

withStaceyandhermomandlittlebrotheratheraunt’s

ginormoushomewhileRothlingeredoutsidedoing...demonthingsorwhatever.Itwaslate,almostmidnight,bythetimewe’dleftherhouseandmadeitbacktothisone.Ididn’tknowwhyRoth

wassoquiet,butIappreciatedit,becauseIdidn’thavethebrainpowertoholdaconversationortoreallythinkaboutanything.

RothparkedthevintageMustanginthegarage,andthehousewasdarkandsilentwhenwewalkedin.Theplacewastoastywarm,buttherewasnosignofCayman.IclimbedthespiralstaircaseanddraggedmyselfdownthehalltothebedroomI’dwokenupinafterthey’dfirstrescuedmefromtheWardens.WhenIreachedtheclosed

door,ItuckedmyhairbackbehindmyearasIglancedovermyshoulderatRoth.Hestoodafewfeetdown

thehall,leaningagainstthewallwithhishandsinhispocketsandthebackofhisheadpressedagainstthewall.“I’lltaketheroomhere,”hesaid,notlookinginmydirection.He’dstayedwithmewhileI’dbeenhealing,butnowtherereallywasno

reasontobe...bunkingtogether.“Ifyouneedanything,thedoorwillbeunlocked.”Myhandtightenedaround

thedoorknob.“Thankyou.”Ihadnoideaifheknew

whatIwasthankinghimfor,buthenodded.Neitherofusmovedforalongmoment.HecontinuedtostareatnothingwhileIstaredathim.FinallyIpushedout,“Goodnight,

Roth.”Hedidn’trespond.Turningtheknob,Ipushed

openthedoorandimmediatelyheadedforthebedsidelamp,flippingiton.Theroomwashuge,themastersuite,andfurnishedwithstunningantiques.I’dneverfeltmoreoutof

placeasIgatheredupthepajamasCaymanhadbroughtmeafewdaysagoand

quicklychangedintothecottonbottomsandlooseshirt.AtleastthenightwearwasnothingliketheotherclothingheandRothhadpickedoutforme.Iwashalfsurprisedthattheyhadn’tgivenmeaskimpynightie.Ipaddedbarefootintothebathroom,onemuchlargerthanthebathroomattachedtomybedroombackintheWardens’compound.Well,

myoldbedroom.Definitelynotmineanymore.Nothinginthathousewas

mineanymore.Thelightinthebathroom

washarshandbrightasIbrushedmyteethandwashedmyface,leavinglittlepuddlesonthemarblebasinanddropletsonmyshirt.Iwassomessywhenitcametothesethings.MorethanonceI’dendedupwithtoothpastein

myhairandlookinglikeIwasenteringawetT-shirtcontest.AsIturnedoffthefaucet,I

lookedupandsawmyreflectioninthemirror.ButIdidn’tseemyself.Notreally.WhenIclosedmyeyes,Isawthesamething—thesameimage.IsawSam.IsawSamsmiling.Isaw

himlaughing.Isawtheskin

aroundhiseyescrinkling,andasIsteppedbackfromthesink,Icouldhearhimspoutingoffsomerandom,obscurepieceofknowledgelikehowafrozenbananacouldactasahammer.IcouldseehimfiddlingwithhisglassesandgazingatStacey,unabletopullhiseyesoffherevenwhenshe’dbeencompletelyoblivioustohisattraction.Icouldseehim

soclearly,asifhereallywasstandinginthebathroomwithme.“OhGod,”Iwhispered,

andmyfacecrumpled.Therewasnooneinthere

toseeme,butIslappedmyhandsovermyeyesasIpressedagainstthewall.AshudderrockedmeasthetearsI’dbeenfightingallafternoonandeveningfinallybrokefree.

Samwasgone.Theknowledgewaslike

gettinghitbyaspeedingsnowplow,andthengettingstuckunderthewheelsanddraggeddownabumpyroad.Tearspouredoutofmeasmyshouldersshookwiththeforceofthem.Irememberedthefirsttime

I’dmethim.Wesharedahistoryclassmyfreshmanyear,andI’dbeensuchabig

goober,toonervousaboutmyfirstforayintopublicschooltofindthepensinmybag,sohe’dgivenmeoneofhiswhileexplainingthatanaverageofonehundredpeopleayearchokeonpens.Astrangledlaughescaped

me.God,howdidSamknowallofthatstuff?Whoknewthatkindofstuff?Samdid,butI’dneverknowtheanswertothatquestionand

thathurt.Tryingtopullittogether

andfailing,Isliddownthewallandtuckedmykneesagainstmychest.Pressingmyfaceagainstmyleg,Iscreameditout,allthepain,theangerandthesadness.Thesoundwasmuffled,anditdidverylittletoeasethestormofemotionsswirlinginsideme.Iwantedtoscreamagain,torage.

Ididn’thearthebathroomdooropen,butsuddenlyanarmcircledmyshoulders,andthenRothwassittingonthefloorbesideme.Hedidn’tsayanythingashehauledmeintohislap,andIwasincapableofutteringasinglewordasIburiedmyfaceintohischest,inhalingtheuniquemuskyscentandsoakinguphiswarmth.Thetearsfellfasterandharder.Therewas

nogainingcontrolinanyofthis.Rothheldon,onearmwrappedaroundme,theotherhandburiedinmyhair,curvingaroundthebackofmyhead.Hedidn’twhisperwordsofcomfort,becausetherewasabsolutelynothingthatcouldbesaid.Myhearthadcrackedwide-openanditwasraw,painful.Itwasunfair.Icrieditalloutinthe

bathroomofahousethatdidn’tbelongtome,heldintheprotectivearmsoftheCrownPrinceofHell.Imournedthelossofmybestfriend.

four

SITTINGCROSS-LEGGEDINthecenteroftheking-sizebed,IkeyedZayne’sandStacey’snumbersintothecellphoneCaymanhaddepositedoutsidemyroomthismorning.Ihadterrible,horrificluck

withcellphones.I’dleftbehindagraveyardofcell

phones,pilesofphonesthatsimplyhadthemisfortuneofendingupinmyhands,butlikeIhadwitheveryonebeforeit,Ireallyhopedthistimewasdifferent.LikethelastphoneZayne

hadpickedupforme,itwasaniftysmartphone,butthisoneanevennewerandfancierversion.Oddly,nomatterwhichwayIpositionedmyfingeroverthelittlebutton,it

wouldn’treadmyfingerprint.Technology.Sigh.Droppingthephoneonthe

bedinfrontofme,Iblinkedblearyeyes.I’dcriedsomuchlastnight,myeyesnowfeltlikesandpaperwastapedtothebackofmylids.I’dcrieduntilIfellasleeponabathroomfloor,inRoth’sarms.Hemust’vecarriedmetobed,butIdidn’tremember

that,thoughIdidrememberhowgooditfelttobeheldbyhim.HewasgonewhenIwokeupandIhadn’tseenhimorBambiatalltoday.Iguessedshewasonhim.Itriednottopanicabout

theirabsence,butitwashard.ThewaythingsweregoingtherewasagoodchancethatCaymanandRothhadunderestimatedtheextentoftheirBoss’sreactionto

Roth’sactionsyesterdaywiththeAlphasandThumper.Mythoughtsroamedfrom

RothtoZayneandthenbacktoRoth,forminganendlesscirclebeforeSamandStaceybrokethecycle.Thelossofhimwasgoingtohurtsomethinghorribleforalongtimetocome,butasbadlyasIfelt,itwasnothingcomparedtoStacey’spain.IflosingSamhadtaught

meanything,itwastoseizelife—seizeeverythingithadtooffer,includingthetears,theangerandloss,butmostofall,thelaughterandthelove.Tojustseizelife.Becauseitwasfleetingand

itwasfickle,andnoone,notmeoranyoneIknew,hadanotherday,letaloneanothersecondpromisedtothem.Scootingoffthebed,I

grabbedthephoneandmademywaydownstairs.ThecloserIgottothekitchen,thestrongerthescentofparadisegrew.Bacon.Ismelledbacon.Mystomachgrumbled,andIpickedupmypace.IfoundCaymaninthekitchen,makingeggsonthestove.Sureenough,baconsizzledonagriddlebesidethem.“Morning,”hesaidwithout

turningaround.Hishairwaspulledbackinahotpinkclipwithabedazzledbutterflyattachedtoit.Asmallsmilecreptontomyface.“Youlikeyoureggsscrambledorwhat?”“Scrambledisfine.”I

hoppeduponthebarstoolpositionedatthelargeisland.“Good.Mykindofgirl.”

Heflippedthebacon,andthenheadedtothefridge,

twirlingthespatulaashewalked.Openingthedoor,hereachedinsideandgrabbedasmallbottleofOJ.Turning,hetosseditinmydirection,andIcaughtitbeforeitsmackedmeintheface.“Pickedsomeoftheseup,too.”Iglanceddownatthe

bottle.“Howdidyouknow?”Heliftedhisbrows,and

thenshookhishead,turning

backtothestove.BaconsnappedandpoppedasIsetthebottledown.RothhadtohavetoldhimthattheOJhelpedwiththecravings,asdidanythingsweet.WhenI’dwokenup,thefamiliarburningsensationinthepitofmystomachwasthere,eventhoughithadbeenabsentyesterday.Still,itwasminorcomparedtowhatIwasusedto.

“So,whatareyouplanningtodotoday?”Caymanasked,scoopinguptheeggsanddroppingthemontwoplates.“Idon’tknow.”Dragging

mystill-damphairoveroneshoulder,Itwisteditwithmyhands.“IwasgoingtocheckinwithZaynelaterandseeifhe’dheardanythingabouttheAlphas,andthencallStacey.I’m...I’mworriedabouther.”“She’llgetthroughit.

Seemslikeastronggirl.”“Sheis,”Iagreed.“But

losingsomeoneis...”“Iimagineit’shard,butI

reallydon’tknow.Ihaven’tlovedanythingoranyoneotherthanmyself,”hereplied,andIliftedabrowatthat.Atleasthewashonest.“Gottosucktolosethat.”“Itdoes.”Iscrewedoffthe

lidoftheOJ,feelingtheheavinessinmychest.Ihad

noideahowlongitwouldtakeforthattofade.IthoughtbacktowhenRothhadsacrificedhimself;therehadbeenmomentswheretheburdenofpaineased,butithadalwaysresurfacedwithabittervengeance.Caymangatheredupthe

slicesofbacon,spreadingthemoutonourplatesbeforejoiningmeattheisland.Ifsomeonetoldmeayearago

I’dbeeatingscrambledeggsandbaconmadebyademon,Iwould’velaughedintheirfaceandtoldthemthatcrackwaswhack.Timeshadmostdefinitely

changed.Ipickedupapieceofbacon.“What’sgoingonwithyou

andZayne?”Inearlychokedonthe

bacon.MyeyeswateredasIgrabbedtheOJandtooka

hugeswallow.“Excuseme?”Icroaked.Ahalfsmileformedashe

forkedupsomeeggs.“YouandZayne,thegorgeousgargoyle.What’sgoingonthere?”“Howdoyouknow

something’sgoingon?”Caymanrolledhiseyes.

“Honey-child,ablindpersoncouldseethere’smajortension.What’sthescoop?”

Heatblastedacrossmycheeks.Wellthen.“I...”Ihadnoideahowtoanswerthatquestion,becauseIwasn’tevensuremyself.“Idon’tknow.”Hesentmealonglook.

“Ah,Ithinkyoutotallyknow,butyou’rejustnotreadytoputitintowords.”Shovinganothersliceof

baconintomymouth,Ieyedhim.“Oh,doyounow?”

“Yeah.Yourshitiscomplicated.Igotyou,butIknowwhat’sreallygoingonthere,soI’mabouttogoallcometoJesuswithyou.”Settinghisforkdown,heleanedoverandwhisperedthe“truth”inmyear.Ijerkedback,hiswords

echoing—no,actuallytauntingme—andangerroseinmeswiftly.Iglaredathim,myhandtightonthefork.

SomethingaboutwhathesaidwassotrueIwantedtokickitbackinhisface.“Idon’twanttotalktoyouaboutthis.”Hechuckled.“Whatever

floatsyourboat.”Ignoringhim,Idevoured

therestofmybreakfast,thenIgotupanddumpedtheplateandsilverwareinthedishwasher.WhenIfacedhim,hewasstillgrinning.Icrossedmyarms.“Where’s

Roth?”“He’sout.”Iwaitedandtherewasno

answer.“Doingwhat?”“Things,”hereplied.

“Demonduties.”Sighing,Ileanedagainst

thecounter.“You’rerealhelpful.”Winking,hehelduphis

emptyplatebetweentwofingers.Aircrackled,andthenflamessparkedoffthe

tipofhisfingers,climbingtheplate.MyeyeswidenedasIwatchedthefirecompletelyobliteratetheplate.Theforkwentupinflamesnext.“Well,that’sonewayto

cleanup,”Imurmured.“Justalittletrickofthe

trade.”Hewipedtheashesoffhishands.“Butgoingbacktothenotbeinghelpfulpart,I’llhaveyouknowI’mveryhelpful.Askmehow

youcangetSam’ssoulback.”Iblinked.“What?”Hesighed.“Askmehowto

getSam’ssoulbackfromHell.Youknow,soyoucanmakesurehegoeswherehe’ssupposedto,whichI’massumingisbeyondthosebigpearlygatesinthesky.”Slowly,Iunfoldedmy

arms.“YouknowhowtogetSam’ssoul?”

“Yep.ThoughIthinkRothwouldpreferthatIdidn’ttellyou.Nowgetthatlookoffyourfacethatmakespeoplethinkabirdjustcrappedonyourhead.”Mybrowsflewup.That’s

howIlooked?Hecontinued,“Rothmight

knowaway,butIdon’tthinkthat’swherehisheadisrightnow.Honestly,I’mnotsureifIevenwanttoknowwhere

hisheadisatthemoment.”Uneaseblossomedinmy

bellyasIinchedtowardthekitchenisland.Caymanwatchedmeclosely.“Sohere’sthedeal.Thereisonebeingwhowatchesoverthesoulsdownbelowandonlythatbeingcanreleaseasoul.Atleast,mostofthetime.Ifthepersonisnotcompletelydeadandishoveringinthein-between,thenboththe

Bossandthebigguyintheskygetthechoiceofeitherreleasingthesoulorpullingitback.”“Pullingitback?”Ileaned

in,placingmyhandsonthecoolgranitesurface.“Asinbringthembackfromthedead?”Heshookhishead.“We

don’tliketousethatparticularphrasing.Morelikepullthembackfromthebrink

ofdeath.”“Okay,”Imurmured,but

hopesparkedandburnedbright.IknewitwascrappyofmetoonlybeconcernedaboutSam’ssoulwhentherewereotherswhohadalsoendedupunfairlyinHell,butIwasalsosmartenoughtorealizethatIwasn’tgoingtobeabletogointhereandsaveeveryone.OrmaybeIcould.Myspinestiffened.I

couldatleasttry.“Semantics,”Isaid.“YousaysemanticsandI

saythebalanceoftheuniverse.”Istaredathimamoment,

andthenmovedon.“CanwebringbackSamsince—”“No,sweetandincredibly

naivechild,youcannotbringhimback.”Proppinghiselbowsonthecounter,Caymanrestedhischininhis

hand.“Samisdead.Asindead,dead.”Disappointmentcrushed

me,buttherewasstillsomethingtograsponto.Ifwecouldn’tbringSamback,wecouldmakesurehissoulwasintherightplace.“Howdoesitwork?Gettingasoulbackandmakingsureit’sintherightafterlife?”“Well,whenapersondies,

theAlphasdecidewheretheir

soulgoes.Typicallythesoulgoeswhereitbelongs.Thereisnonegotiation,beggingorwhining.Ifit’smeanttogodownbelow,that’swhereitgoes.”Hepaused.“UnlesstheirsoulisstrippedawaybyaLilin...orsomeonelikeyou.Inthoseinstancesitonlygoesinonedirection.Sucks.Totallyunfair,butthat’sjustthewayitis.”Someonelikeyou.

NormallythereminderofwhatIwaswould’vebeenasmackintheface,butthat...thatabilitywasapartofme.Itdidn’tmakemeevil.Sittingbackdownonthe

stool,IpickeduptheOJ.“Howdowegethissoulback,Cayman?”“YougotoGrim.”Ifeltmylipspinch.

“Grim?”Caymangrinnedandsaid

nothing.Ittookamoment,butthen

Igotit.Rockingbackonthestool,IwassurprisedIdidn’tfallrightoff.“Grim,asintheGrimReaper?”“Hedoesn’tliketobe

calledthatsincethat’sthebastardizedversionofhisname.”Caymanspunonhisbarstool,acompletecircle.“Youcouldn’tevenpronouncehisrealname,so

let’sjustgowithGrim.He’scoolwiththat.He’stheguardianofthesoulsdownbelowandhe’stheonlyonewhocanreleasethem.”Imulledthatoverfora

moment.“Ishenice?”Caymanstoppedmidspin

andthrewhisheadback,laughinglongandhard.“No,incrediblysweetandnaivechild,heisnot.He’sasoldastimeandhasthetemperament

ofsomeonewhoshitthebedandhasbeenrollingaroundinitallday.”Mynosewrinkled.“Ew.”“Ontheplusside,it’s

actuallyprettysimpletogetdowntothefierypitsinthefirstplace.YoujusttakeoneoftheelevatorsinthePalisades,”hecontinued,referencingtheapartmentbuildingRothnormallylivedin,whichalsohouseda

demonicclub.“Butyoucan’ttakeRothwithyou.TheBossisstillpissed,andsoaresomeoftheotherUpperLeveldemons.Theygettheirhandsonhim,theyaregoingtodelayhim.”“So...soI’dhavetogo

alone?”Ashiverdanceddownmyspine.“ToHell?”“Mostlikely.I’dgowith

you,but...Yeah,Ireallydon’twanttotalktoGrim.”

“Yoursupportmeanstheworldtome,”Imuttered,andthentookadrinkoftheOJ.“Allofthisseemstooeasy.IjusttakeanelevatordowntoGrimandaskforSam’ssoul?”Caymanlaughedagain.

“I’mbeginningtothinkyourdarlingnaïveteisactuallyadorableidiocy.You’relikethecuteversionofthevillageidiot.”

“Wow.”Iscowled.“Youreallyknowhowtostrokeagirl’sego.”Hespunonthestoolagain

andthebutterflyclipslippedinhishair.“WhatcanIsay?Guysaremoremyfieldofexpertise.Butbacktothetopicathand—no,gettingSam’ssoulwon’tbeaseasyasyoumakeitsound,butluckyforyou,you’llhavesometimetoplanyour

strategy.Grimisn’tdownbelowrightnow.He’s...off,kindoflikevacationing.”“TheGrimReaper

vacations?”Disbeliefdrippedfrommyvoice.“Ifyou’dbeendoingajob

fortwothousand-plusyears,you’dneedavacation,too.”Hiskneesknockedintomine.“Okay.He’snotreallyvacationing,butheissomeplacemuchmore

pleasantthanthepitsatthemoment.Hepullsdoubleoccupancy.”“Whatdoesthatmean?

Anddon’tcallmeanidiotagain.I’mnotfamiliarwithallyourdemonlingo.”Caymanglancedupatthe

ceilingandthendowntothefloor.“Yougetit?”“He’supthere?”Ipointed

attheceiling.“Anddownbelow,too?Hegoesboth

places?”“Ofcourse.He’stheGrim

Reaper,whichmeanshe’sactuallya—Oh,it’slikeagameofTaboo.I’llgiveyouexamplesandyouguesswhathereallyis.”Caymanclappedhishandstogetherlikeaseal.“Hehaswingsand—”“Anangel.”Icuthimoff.

“He’sanangel.”Cayman’sexpressionfell.

“You’renofun.”

Ididn’tknowalotaboutallthedifferentkindsofangels,butIwasguessingGrimwasactuallyanangelofdeath,maybetheoriginalone,soIsupposeditmadesensethathedividedhistimebetweenHeavenandHell.Honestly,Ididn’tevencare.WhatwasimportantwasthattherewassomethingwecoulddoforSam,andmaybeifIwaslucky,forallthose

theLilinhadsentencedtoHell.“He’sbacksoon,next

Fridayourtime.”Caymanleanedover,tweakedmynose,andthenlaughedwhenIsmackedhishandaway.“Becausethat’syouronlyoption,goingdownthere.Youain’tgoingupthere.”Well,duh.ButFridaywas

sixlongdaysaway.Iswallowedhard.“Idon’t

knowifIcanwaitthatlong.Sam’ssoul...”“Youdon’thaveachoice,

Layla.”Theplayfulnessslippedaway.“NooneelsecanreleasehissoulbutGrim,andthereisnowayforyoutoentertheheavenstotalktohim.Nonewhatsoever,especiallynow.”Myearsperked.

“Especiallynow?Howistodayanydifferentthan

yesterday?IneverthoughtIcouldenterHeavenbefore—wait.Doyouknowsomethingaboutmywings,whythey’refeathered?”Hislipstwitched.“Yousay

featheredlikeit’sabadhairstyle.Thenagain,featheredhairisreallybad.”“Cayman,”Igriped,losing

mypatience.“Whyworryaboutyour

awesomelysuperiorwings

whenyouhaveaLilinwho’sgoingtoquicklyrealizethatthereisnowayinholyHellthatLilithwillbegettingfreeandthat’snojoke.TheBosshasheronlockdown.She’sgoingnowhere,mylittlefrostedcupcake.”Mylipspursed.Histerms

ofendearmentwerelessthanendearing.“Andwhatdoyouthink

thatLilinisgoingtodowhen

itrealizesmommydearestisnotgettingfreeandthere’snothingthatitcando?”Heraisedhisarmsandwiggledhisfingers.Totaljazzhands.“Chaoswillensue,andwhatdoyouthinkwillhappenwhenchaosensues?TheAlphaswillstepin,andtherewillbesomanyofthemthatThumperwouldgetanupsetstomachtryingtoeatthemall.Wedon’twantthat.For

realsies.”Iopenedmymouth.“Andwhyworryabout

yoursleek-assfeatheredwingswhenyouhaveanentireclanofWardenswhojustfoundoutinthelasttwenty-fourhoursthatyou’rereallynotdead?Becausetrustme,theyknow.Zaynewouldn’thavetotellthem.TheAlphaswouldhave.Somearen’tgonnabehappy

aboutyoursurvival.Ohno,sugarbear.Thenthere’sthewholewitchthing,anddon’tevenaskmewhattheywantedinreturnforsavingyourbutt,becauseIamnotgonnabethebearerofthatbadnewsbears.”Isnappedmymouthshut.

Goodiegumdrops,Iwasreallystartingtofeelsuperstressedout.Hewasn’tdone.“Andwhy

stressoverwingsingeneralwhenyou’regoingtobreaksomeone’sheart?”“What?”Isnapped.Caymanpoppedoffthebar

stool,allgrins.“Let’sstopplayingaround,myownpersonalBeanieBaby.Zayne’sinlovewithyou.Roth’sinlovewithyou.”Iinhaledsharply,butthe

aircaughtinmythroat.“Bothwoulddoanything

foryou—live,breatheanddieforyou,butyoucan’thavebothofthem,Layla.”Myhandsfelltomythighs

andIwhispered,“Iknowthat.”“Andyouknowwhichone

istherealdeal,”hecontinued,eyeingmeintently.“Youknow,theforeverkindoflove,sowhyareyoudraggingthisshitout?”

“I’mnotdragginganythingout,”Iprotested.“Iwaskindofoutofit,youknow,whatwiththewholebeingheldprisonerandthennearlykilledbymyownclanthing.ThenIwasholeduphererecovering,andthenyesterdayhappened.”Frustrated,Ijumpedoffthestoolandstalkedaroundtheisland.“AndmaybeIdon’tthinkit’stherighttimefor

metobewitheitherofthem.Didyoueverthinkaboutthat?”Caymancockedhisheadto

theside.“Whenisthereeverarighttimetofullygiveyourhearttoanother?Therearealwaysgoingtobeobstacles.Youjusthavetodecidewhichonesareworthit.”“Whatever.”Icrossedmy

arms.Hemimickedmystance.

“Don’tbeacoward.”“Excuseme?”“A.Coward,”herepeated,

andIbrieflyconsideredpickingupthevaseinthecenteroftheislandandthrowingitathim.“Notmakingachoiceisthecoward’swayout.Youlovebothofthem.Igetthat.Butyoudon’tfeelthesamekindofloveforbothofthem,andthesooneryouacceptthat,

thebetter.”“Whyarewetalkingabout

thisagain?Andwhydoyouevencare?”Caymansmiled.“Because

I’macaringsortofdemon.”“Ugh,”Igroaned,throwing

upmyhandsasfrustrationandpanicfoughttheirwaythroughme.Caymanmadeitsoundsoeasy,likeIwasn’tgoingtoloseoneofthem,butIwas.Callmeselfish,butthe

ideaofnothavingbothoftheminmylifeterrifiedme.“Youcanbesoannoying.”“Don’thate,”hesaid,

grinning.“Procreate.”NowIjustglaredathim.“Procreatewiththeright

guy,”headded.“Justwantedtoclarifythat.”“OhmyGod,”Imoaned,

leaningoverandplacingmyforeheadonthecounter.Istayedlikethatevenafter

IfeltCaymanexittheroom—andprobablytheentirehouse,becauseafterafewmoments,Ididn’tsenseademon.Thegranitecountertop

reallywascoolandsmooth,andfeltgoodagainstmyflushedface.MaybeI’dstaylikethisallday.Soundedlikeaplan.Betterthan...No,notbetterthan

listeningtowhatCaymanhadsaidaboutZayneandRoth.

Hewasright.OhGod,hewassocreepilyright.Ididlovebothguys.Ireallydid,andtheideaofhurtingoneofthemorlosingoneofthemmademewanttohurl,butCaymanwasalsorightaboutafewmorethings.Icouldn’thavebothof

them.AndwhatIfeltforthem

wasdifferent.Therewasnohidingthat.It

hadalwaysbeenthatway.Bothmademehappy.Bothmademelaugh.Bothfilledmewithlongingandmademygirliepartsallkindsofhappy.Butonlyonereallymademe...Well,therewasonlyone

thatIknewIwouldalwaysbehappywith,onethatIwouldalwayslaughwith.OnethatIdidmorethanlongfor,butyearnedfor,andeachsecond

thatpassedignoringitwasasecondIwouldn’tgettospendwithhim—asecondIwouldn’tlivelifewithloveinit,realloveinit,thekindthatdidhavelastingpower.DespitewhatCaymansaid,

Iwasn’tsurethatbothofthemweretrulyinlovewithme.Iwasn’tintheirheads,butthewaytheyfeltdidn’tmatterwhenitcamedowntoit.ItwashowIfelt,andI

wouldn’tsettle.Ialsodidn’texpectthemtosettle.Myforeheadwasstarting

tosticktothegranite.Forthefirsttimeindays,I

letmyselfreallythinkaboutRoth’swords,theonesIthoughtI’dhallucinatedbeforeIhadpassedoutfrommywoundsandwhateverthewitcheshadgivenme.Iloveyou,Layla.I’ve

lovedyousincethefirst

momentIheardyourvoiceandIwillcontinuetoloveyou.Nomatterwhat.Iloveyou.Rothhadprettymuch

confirmedthatIhadinfactheardthosewordsspokenwithsuchsweeturgency,buttherewasthispartofmethatjustcouldn’tbelieveit.OrmaybeIdidn’twantto,becausewhenIthoughtaboutwhatRothsaid,Ialso

rememberedwhatZaynehadsaidwhenhe’dseenmestandinginStacey’slivingroom.Iwouldknowifapartof

myheartwasgone.Myentirebeingfeltlikeit

wassqueezedtothepointofpain.TherewereallthesecretsthatZaynehadtoldme,howhehadwaited...forme.Still,Ihadspentyearswantinghimanditnever

seemedpossiblethatIwouldeverhavehim.MaybeIwasjustscared

outofmymindtofinally—Lostinmyownthoughts,I

didn’trecognizetheawarenessthatseepedintomyskin,alertingmetoanotherpresenceinthehouseuntiladeepvoicerumbledthroughoutthekitchen.“Whatintheworldareyou

doing,Shortie?”

Jerkingback,IliftedmyheadasIpressedmypalmagainstmychest.Heartpounding,IwatchedRothwalktowardtheislandandstop.Hewasdressedmuchlikehehadbeenlastnight,excepthewaswearingawhitethermaltodaythatreallycomplementedthegoldenhueofhisskin.“Iwas...Iwasthinking,”I

said,smoothingmyhands

overmyhair.“Thinkingaboutstuff.”Heproppedahipagainst

theisland.“Wasthecountertophelpingyouthinkaboutstuff?”Ipressedmylipstogether.

“Maybe.”Roth’sgazedipped,and

thenslowlyslidbackuptomyface.Therewasapleasedheatinhisgazethatwroughtaverydifferentkindofshiver

outofme.“That’sanoddwaytodosomethinking,Shortie.”“Yeah,Iknow.

Cayman...um,hemadebreakfast.”Toyingwithmyhair,IwrappedtheedgesaroundmyfingersasRothstartedwalkingagain.Hewascomingclosertome.“Andgotmeaphone.”“Itoldhimtogetthephone

foryou,”hereplied,his

tawnyeyesaglow.“Thebreakfast,though,wasniceofhim.Allhisidea.”“Itwasnice.”Myhearthad

notsloweddown,anditdidn’thelpwhenhegotcloserstill.“Wherehaveyoubeen?”Hestoppedinfrontofme.

“CheckedoutSam’shouse.Thoughtitwouldbeagoodidea.”Reachingbetweenus,hegothisfingersinbetween

mineandtuggedthemawayfrommyhair.“It’snotgoodnews.”“It’snot?”Rothshookhisheadashe

heldmyhandsinhis.“Hisfamilywasdead.Intheirbeds.”Hisexpressiongrewtight,somber.“Andthey’dbeendeadforatleastacoupleofdays.SinceIdidn’tseeanywraiths,itdoesn’tlookliketheirsoulshadbeen

stripped.Therewasa...amessleftbehind.”Squeezingmyeyesshut,I

couldn’tsuppresstheshudder.Ididn’tneedtoaskwhatconstitutedamess.“WhywouldtheLilinkillwithouttakingasoul?”Histhumbssmoothedover

theinsidesofmyhands.“Becauseitcan.Nootherreasonthanthat.”“God.”Theonlysilver

liningwasthatSam’sfamilywouldgowheretheybelongedsincetheystillhadtheirsouls.“Ikindofexpectedit,tobe

honest.Ithoughtaboutitlastnight,butdidn’twanttoleaveuntilImadesureyouwereokay.”Hiswarmhandsspreaduptomywrists,andwhenIopenedmyeyes,hewasstaringdownatme.“Ihatetohavetobringthat

newstoyou.”Ihatedthefactthatmore

innocentliveshadbeenlost.I’dmetSam’sparentsafewtimes.Theywereprettycool,asrandomandadorableasSam.“Wait.Samhasasister.She’syoungerand—”Amuscleflickeredinhis

jawasRothdroppedhisgaze,andthenithitme.Rothhadn’tsaidhisparents.He’dsaidhisfamily.Theeggsand

baconchurnedinmystomach,andIwishedIhadn’teatenanything.“Imadeananonymouscall

tothepolice.They’reprobablyalreadyatthehouse.EventhoughwhatlookslikeSamisupandwalkingaround,withhisfamily...deceased,that’sgoingtoforcetheLilinoutofschoolandawayfromthestudentsthere.It’sgoingto

havetobecareful.Notthatitwouldbeeasytoarrest,butIdoubtitwantsthatextrahassle.”Mychestachedsobadlyas

Imurmured,“Thatwasreallysmart.”Hesteppedevencloser.“I

figuredthatforStacey...andforyou,itwouldbeeasierifeithereveryoneassumedhewasdeador,well,amurderernowratherthanlater.Ifthe

LilinisallowedtoroamaroundschoolasSam,itmeansStaceywouldhavetogothroughthatlossalloveragain.”Mygazeflewtohis.“That

wasveryconsiderate.”Rothmouthedtheword

consideratelikehe’dneverhearditbeforeordidn’treallyunderstandwhatitmeant.“I’mgoingtobehonest.Okay?”

“Allright?”“IlikeStacey.Don’tget

mewrong.Thatgirl’sgotalotofbadinher,thefunkind,butIwasreallythinkingaboutyou.”Hiseyesheldmine.“Afterseeingittearyouapartlastnight,knowingit’sstilltearingyouapart,Idon’twantyoutofeelallofthatagainwhenyou’vejuststartedtoheal.”Oh.

Ohwow.“Sodon’tgivemecredit

forsomethingIamnot,”hefinished,droppingmyhands.Ashesteppedback,I

leanedintotheisland,absolutelyshaken.“Idon’tthinkyougiveyourselfenoughcredit,Roth.”Helookedoverhis

shoulderasheturnedaway.“IknowwhatIam.”Thatwasthething.Ididn’t

thinkhehadaclueaboutwhathewas,notwhatexisteddeepinsidehim,whatreallymattered.Cayman’swords,the

whisperedones,echoedamongmythoughtsagain,andIlookedaway.Therewassomuchgoingonrightnowandsomuchwasamess.Ihadtostartsomewheretosortallofthisout,though,andIknewwhere.“Ineedtodo

something.”Rothwenttothefridgeand

pulledoutabottle.Hedidn’tturnaround,buttherewasasuspicioushissingsoundashepoppedoffthecap.Itookadeepbreathand

forgedon.“Ineed...IneedtoseeZayne.”Hisshoulderstensed,and

thenhunchedasheliftedthedrinktohislips.“Ifiguredasmuch,”hesaid,andIstared

attherigidlineofhisback.“Roth—”Hedidn’tletmefinish.

“I’llsummonCaymanback.He’lltakeyouwhereyouneedtogo.”Thenhefacedme,andmybreathhitched.TherewasavulnerabilityinhisexpressionI’dneverseenbefore,agreatandterriblesadnessthatdampenedthebrightnessofhiseyes.“Iknowyoutrustand...andcare

forZayne,butIdon’ttrusttherestofthem.Plus,there’retheissueswiththeAlphas.Caymangoeswithyou.”BeforeIcouldsayany

moreorevenprotest,Rothwasgone.Intheblinkofaneye,he’ddisappearedandIwasleftstaringatthespacewherehe’dstood.

five

ITWASN’TUNTILlaterintheafternoonthatIcouldmeetupwithZayne,andthenIhadtowaitforCaymantoplaychauffeur.Hedidn’tseemannoyedbythenewrequirementimposedonhim.Hechatteredonaswedrove,butIwastooanxiousanddistractedtopayattentionto

whathewassaying,soIstaredoutthewindow,checkingoutallthegarlandsstrungonthelamppostsandthelightsthatwouldsoontwinkleon.IsquirmedthewholewaytothecoffeeshopZayneandIusedtovisiteverySaturday,mymindstuckonthewayRothhadstaredatmeinthekitchen.Ididn’tgetit.He’dgone

from—fromtouchingmeto

completelywithdrawn.Notjustdistant,butpained.Ididn’tevenhavethechancetoexplainanything.Nowmyheartwaspoundingcrazyfast,likeIwasabouttogotoe-to-toewithaHellion,andithadnothingtodowithseeingZayne.MaybeCaymanandIhad

completelymisjudgedRoth’s...um,interest,butevenifwehad,itdidn’tchange

whatIwasabouttodo.Itcouldn’t.CaymaneasedtheMustang

toanidlingstopalongtheparkedcarsoutsidetheshop.AsIreachedforthedoor,hetappedhisfingersagainstthesteeringwheel.“Mynumberisenteredinyourphonealready,underAwesomeSauce.Textmewhenyou’redone.”“Okay.”Iopenedthedoor,

wincingasthewindsmackedmeintheface.“Don’twanderoff.You

haveAlphasandwhoknowswhatelsepotentiallygunningforyourass,”hecontinued.“AndIreallydon’twanttogobacktothehouseandhavetoexplaintoRoththatIlostyousomehow.”Iresistedboththeurgeto

pointoutthatIwasn’tsurehowRothwouldevenfeel

aboutthatatthispointandthedesiretorollmyeyes.“Yes,Dad.”Hegrinned.“Dome

proud.”Shootinghimalookover

myshoulderasIclimbedout,Islammedthecardoorshutandhoppeduponthecurb.ThewindwasbrutalasIdashedaroundthepeoplehurryingupanddownthesidewalk.Anarrayofauras

greetedme,butteryyellowsandsoftbluesandpinks.Ikeptaneyeoutforanyonewhowasmissingone,asuresignofademoninourmidst,buteverythingappearedtobebusinessasusual.Thefrostedwreathhanging

onthedoorjingledasIsteppedinside.BeforeIevensteppedthroughthedoorway,IknewZaynewasthere.Isensedhimasthewarmair

washedoverme.Thecoffeeshopwasatotalmom-and-popkindofstore,notoneofthebigchains,butitsmelledlikesweetbakedgoodsandcoffeebeans.Espresso-coloredboothslinedthewallsandIspottedZayne’swhiteglowimmediately.Hewassittingtowardthebackoftheshop,inoneofthecomfybooths,facingthedoor.BeforeIjoinedhim,Itook

afewmomentstogetmyheadonstraightandorderedapeppermintmocha.ThenIcarriedthewarmcupovertohim.Heimmediatelyrosetohisfeet,andthecloserIgot,themoreIcouldseethatthetiredbruisesunderhiseyeshadfadedabit.Forthat,Iwasgrateful.Theshopwaspackedwith

peopleinbusinesssuitsandotherscarryingshopping

bags,butwhenZaynetookthecupoutofmyhandandplaceditonthetable,nooneelsewasthere.BeforeIcouldspeakaword,hewrappedhisarmsaroundmeandheldtight,loweringhischeektomine.Ifrozeup,becausehewastooclosetomymouth,butZayne—oh,he’dalwaysbeensoincrediblyrecklesswithme.“ThiswaswhatIwantedto

doyesterday,”herasped,hisvoicelowinmyear.“WhenIfirstsawyoustandinginthathouse,thiswasallIcouldthinkabout.”Isqueezedmyeyesshutas

Ihuggedhimback.Emotionalreadyclawedatmyinsides.“Theclanknowsyou’re

alivenow,”hewenton,andIfeltthemusclesinmybacktense.Caymanhadsaidasmuch,buthearingit

confirmedwasawholedifferentstory.“Danikawantedtocomewithme.Shewantedtoseeforherselfthatyou’reokay.”Astrangled,surprised

laughescapedme,andIfeltZayne’scheekriseagainstminewhenhesmiled.DanikaandIhadaverystrangerelationship.TheentireclanexpectedZaynetomatewithher.Inotherwords,getdown

tobusinessandproducealotofWardenbabies,andbecauseofthatI’dalwaysbeenextremelyjealousofthefull-bloodedWarden.Danikawasstunninglygorgeousandratherbadass,unlikemostWardenfemales.Shewasnotokaywithsittingaroundandpoppingbabiesoutforthegoodofmankind.AndshealsohadbeeninterestedinZayne.Inshort,therewere

plentyofreasonstohateher,butsheandIhadfinallyformedanunlikelyalliance.Ididmissherinaweird

way,likeonemissedshovelingthesnowduringaheatwave.WhenZaynereluctantlyletgo,IallbutfellintotheseatasIstruggledtogaincontrolofwhatIwasfeeling,ofwhatIwasabouttodo.Zaynereturnedtotheseat

acrossfromme.“Youokay,Layla-bug?”Theconcerninhisvoice

wasevident.“Yeah.”Iclearedmythroatandtookasipofthemintymocha.“Lastnightwasalittlerough.IgottothinkingaboutSam...”Ishookmyheadandkeptmyvoicelow.“Rothwenttohishousethismorning.Hisfamilywasgone—dead.Itdidn’tlookliketheirsouls

weretaken.”“Damn.”Zaynedragged

hisfingersthroughhishair.Inoddedslowly,casting

mygazetothelidonmycup.“Hecalleditintothepolice,whichwasprettysmart.That’sgoingtoforcetheLilintolielowforalittlewhilesincethepolicewillbelookingfor...forSam.Atleast,wehope.Didyoufindoutanythingaboutthe

Alphas?”Zayne’sstarewasintense,

andIrealizedhe’dbeenstaringatmelikethatsinceIsatdown.“Yeah.SomeofthempaidtheclanavisitatroughlythesametimetheothertwoshowedupatStacey’splace.FromwhatIcouldgatherfromNicolai,theAlphasknewtherewasaLilin,alwaysdid.”Ihadn’tmissedthefact

thathe’dsaidhe’dspokentoNicolaiinsteadofhisfather,butIwasdistractedbythelastpart.“Theydid?”“Yeah,apparentlythey

couldn’tgetinvolvedfortheirowncelestialreasons.Theybelievedwe’dfigureitout.”Angersparkedinmychest

asIstaredathim.AllthoseweekswhenI’dthoughtIwassomehowresponsibleforthedeath,destructionand

mayhembothatschoolandathome,andtheAlphashadknownthetruthfromthestart.“Theyknewthisentiretimeandneverthoughttotellanyofus?Why?”Myvoicewasrising,butIcouldn’thelpit.“Becauseofsomebullshitrules?”“Iknow,”heagreedsoftly.IwantedtopunchanAlpha

intheface!Likefistsoffurytypesofpunches.“We

could’vesavedlives.Ican’teven...”Itookahugegulpofthemocha,hopingthatwouldcalmmedown.Itreallydidn’t.“Whatelsedidtheysay?”Herestedhisarmsonthe

tableandleanedin.“Myfatherwasabletonegotiatesometimefromthem.They’regivingusuntiltheNewYeartodealwiththeLilin,unlesstheLilindoes

somethingthathastheriskofexposure.WehaveWardensoutnowsearchingforit.”Mybrowsflewup.Tobe

honest,Ihadn’tthoughtthey’dgiveusanytime.Icouldeasilyseethemgivingustwohours.Iwasn’tsurprisedtolearnofthewholeexposurething,though.TheAlphashaddecreedlongagothathumankindcouldneverhave

real,hard-coreproofthataHeavenandaHellexisted,thattheymustbelieveinahigherpowerbasedonfaithalone.Ididn’tunderstandthatthenandIstilldidn’tgetitnow.AllIknewwasthattheWardenswenttogreatlengthstokeeptheexistenceofdemonsasecretfromhumanseverywhere.“Whathappensifwedon’thaveitundercontrol?”

“Nothingpretty.Theythreatenedtowipeusallout.ThesamethingiftheLilingoestoofar.”HeexhaledroughlywhileIwonderedwhat“toofar”wouldlooklike.“TheyseemtounderstandthattrackingtheLilindownandkillingitisn’tgoingtobeeasy,butthat’snotallthattheytalkedabout.”“Whatelsedidtheytalk

about?Howcoolitisupontheirloftyperch?”Hestaredforamoment,

andthensaid,“Uh,no.They...Well,there’snoeasywaytosaythis.They’renothappywithyou,Layla-bug.”Maybeafewweeksago,I

would’veflippedoutandtossedmyselfinacornertorockawayallmytroubles.Now?Isnorted,andthentookanotherdrink.“Big

surprisethere.”Zayne’sgazedriftedover

myface.Hedidn’tspeakforalongmoment.“Rothdidsaysomethingtrueyesterday.Ihaveseenblack,featheredwingsbefore.”Iwasdoingmybestnotto

thinkaboutmyweirdwings,butIsetthecupdown.“Where?”Amuscleunderhiseye

twitchedashedroppedhis

gaze,andmystomachtightened.Notaparticularlygoodsign.“I’veonlyseenonedemonwiththem.FeltlikeanUpperLevelone.Itwasabriefglimpse.IthoughtIwasseeingstuff,buttheywerelikeyours.”“Oh,”Imurmured,unsure

ofhowtofeelaboutthat.ZayneandDanikahadalreadyconfirmedthatIsmelledlikeanUpperLevel

demon.ThatwaswhytheWardenTomashadattackedme.Sothiswasnothingnew,notreally,butitstilldidn’texplainwhymywingsweresuddenlyfeatheredandwhyIhadn’tfullyshiftedlikeaWardenorademonwould.“DomywingshavesomethingtodowithwhytheAlphassuddenlydon’tlikeme?Well,notthattheyeverlikedmeinthefirstplace,but

whatgivesnow?”“Alltheysaidwasthatyou

wereanabomination.That’snotright.You—”“Iknow.It’snotright.

Thereareworsethingskickingaroundthanme.Iknowthat.Andiftheydon’tknowthat,it’snotmyproblem.”Zayneraisedabrow.“Well,okay,itismy

problemiftheytrytocome

aftermeagain,butIknowI’mnotanabomination,”Irepeated,draggingmyfingeralongtherimofthecup.Ithadtakenalongtimefor

metogettothatpoint,tonotletthewordsoftheAlphasormyownclanmemberscutmedown.Oreventhewordsofthegirlsatschool,likeEvaHasherandtheBitchPack,asStaceyreferredtothem,whousedtohavemedoubting

everythingthatIwas.Idon’tevenknowwhatexactlyflippedthatswitchforme.MaybeitwasthelonganddarkhoursI’dspentinthathorriblecagebelowthecompoundormaybeitwasalmostdying.Eitherway,itwasawake-upcall.Inmorewaysthanone,and

nowIhadtoseizeoneofthoseotherways.IglancedatZayne,my

closestoffriendssinceIwasalittlegirl,myeverythingforsoverylong,andfoundthatIcouldn’tlookaway.This...thiswasgoingtohurt.Holygranolabars,itwasgoingtostinglikeaswarmofwasps.Anditwassoscary,becausetherewasnosafetynetforthisdecision.Zayneinclinedhishead.

“Hey...”Hereachedacrossthetableformyhand,butI

pulleditback,claspingminetogether.Hiseyesflewtomine.“Layla?”Ithoughtaboutwhat

Caymanhadwhisperedinmyearthatmorning.Stopbeingacowardand

letgoofthepast.Embracethefuture,becausetheyaretwoverydifferentthings.Caymanhadbeenright.I’d

beenacoward,afraidoflettinggoofthepast,ofall

thatfamiliarity,becausetherewassafetythere,asimplicityinitscomfort.Thepastwaslikegoinghome,anditwassweetandwarm,andperfectinitsownright.Itwasn’tanylessthanthefuture,butI’dbeenterrifiedofembracingtheunknown,ofthepotentialoflosingwhatI’dalwayscountedon.Becausetherewasonly

onesetofeyesIsawwhenI

closedmineatnightandwhenIreopenedtheminthemorning.“Layla?”Zayne’svoice

wassoft.IsquaredmyshouldersasI

drewinastutteredbreath.“Yousaidweneededtotalkyesterdayandyouwereright.Wedo.”Hisgazesearchedmineas

Iforgedon.“Iknowthere’salotgoingonrightnow,so

manythingsupintheair,andalotofitiscrazy.”“But...?”Therewasagolf-ball-size

knotcurrentlylodgedinmythroatandIwantedtoclosemyeyes.Iwantedtolookaway,butIforcedmyselfnottohideanything.“Youknowthatyoumeantheworldtome,alwayshave,andthatIcareaboutyousomuch.Iloveyou—”

“Butyou’renotinlovewithme?”Hiseyesshutashisfacedtensed.“Isthatwhatyou’resaying?”“No.Imean,I’mnot

sayingitlikethat.Idoloveyou,but—”“You’vegottobekidding

me.”Zayneopenedhiseyesasheleanedbackagainstthebooth,shakinghishead.“Juststop.”Iopenedmymouth.

“Stop.Justforasecond,”hesaidagain,eyesopenandnotmissingathing.Heshookhishead,staringatmeintheworstkindofwonderment.“IsitbecauseofwhathappenedwhenIkissedyoulasttime,orbecauseofourclan?Itrustyou,Layla.AndIknowyoutrustme.Wecanmakethiswork.”OhGod,thatgolfballhad

turnedintoasoftball.“Iknow

youtrustme,butthat’snotthereason.It’sreallynot.”ThosewordsweretruerthanI’drealizeduntilthatmoment,anditmadesayingwhatIhadtosoveryimportant,becauseevenifheandIcouldhavemadeitwork,intheend,myheart—myheartwould’vebelongedelsewhere.“Wecouldhavemadeitworkwithout...withoutthekissing

andwecould’vebeencareful.AndItrustyou,butthisisn’tabouttrust.Zayne,you’reimportanttomeandI—”“YouloveRoth,”he

continuedforme.“You’reinlovewithhim.”Myeyesmethisbright

blueones.“Yes,”Iwhispered,mylowerliptrembling.“It’shim.It’salwaysbeenhim.I’msorry.Idoloveyou.Icareaboutyou

somuch,andinsomanyways,beingwithyouwasadreamcometrue,butit’snotthesame.”Hedrewback,asifI’d

reachedacrossthetableandslappedhim.“Pleasedon’texpectmetosithereandlistentoaspeechthatmakesmefeellikeadamnrunner-upinsomekindofcontest.”Isuckedinasharpbreath.

“That’snothowIwantyouto

feel.”Zayne’sbrowsloweredas

hestaredatme.“HowintheHelldidyouexpectmetofeel?”Tearsburnedthebackof

myeyes,becauseI’dnever,everwantedtohurtanyone.Especiallynothim.“Idon’tknow.”“Ofcourseyoudon’t.”He

thrusthishandoverhishead,claspingthebackofhisneck.

Amomentpassedastensiontightenedthelinesofhismouth.“Iloveyou,”hegroundout,amusclethrummingalonghisjaw.“I’minlovewithyou.Iwaitedforyou,Layla.Andnoneofthat—noneofthatmatters.”Ididn’tknowwhattosay.

Itdidmatter—matteredawholelot,buthowcouldIsaythat?Becauseintheend,

evenifIwentbacktothehouseandRothlaughedinmyface,itdidn’tchangeanything.Angerflashedoverhis

face.“Whatwasgoingonbetweenus?Wasitjustpassingthetimeforyou?”“OhmyGod,no!”A

womanwithafaintpinkauraglancedinourdirectionfromthecoffeeline,andIstruggledtokeepmyvoice

low.“Itwasn’tlikethatatall.God,itwasperfectanditwaslikeeveryfantasyIeverhadcometolife.”“Really?”Disbelief

floodedhisface.“Becausehowitseemstomeisthatyouwerejustfoolingarounduntilyoucouldbewithhim.”“UntilIcouldbewith

him?”Irepeateddumbly.“Idon’tevenknow—”“Don’tyoudaresayyou

don’tknowthathelovesyou.Don’tplaystupidbyactingstupid,”hespat,andIjerkedback,stunnedbytherancorinhistone.“Dammit,”hemuttered,droppinghisarm.“Zayne—”“Nomore,”heordered,

andIsqueezedmyeyesshut.“Justnomore.”Zaynedidn’tsayanything

elseashegotup,andIdidn’ttrytostophimashestrode

outthefrontdoor.Droppingmyelbowsonthetable,Iplantedmyfaceinmyhands.Myinsidestwistedandburned.EvenwhenZaynehadbeenrightfullyupsetwithmebefore,he’dneverspokentomelikethat.NotthatIblamedhim.Ideservedthis.Ihadn’tbeencarefulwithmyownactionsorwithhisheart.Ididn’tregretanythingweshared,butI’dmessedupand

Ishouldn’thaveallowedmyselftogetinvolvedwithhim,becausewhatI’dsaidafewmomentsagohadalsobeentrue.IthadalwaysbeenRoth;

fromthemomentheswaggeredintothatdamnalleywhereI’dbeenunsuccessfullyfightingoffademon,ithadbeenhimforme.MaybeI’dbeentooblindtoseethatafterhereturned

fromthepits.MaybeIhadbeentooangrywithhimafterthewayheinitiallyacted.MaybeIhadplayedaroundwithZayne,evenifthathadn’tbeenmyintention.Ididn’tknow.AllIdidknowwasthatI

hadlosttheboyI’dgrownupwith.IfI’dhadanydoubtsaboutthat,thefactthathe’dleftmeherealonetoldmeallIneededtoknow.As

protectiveasZaynewasofme,therewasnowayhewouldhaveleftmeunchaperonedwithaLilinstillontheloose.Notunlessstayingawayfrommewasmoreimportantthankeepingmesafe.Idon’tknowhowlongI

satthere,buteventuallyIfeltanunnaturalwarmthspreadingalongthebackofmyneck,alertingmetothe

presenceofademon.ExpectingtofindCaymanwhenIliftedmyhead,Ilookedaroundthecoffeeshop.MygazedriftedoverthesoftshadesofaurasuntilIfoundayoungmanstandingtowardthefrontoftheshopwithnothingaroundhim.Therewasmydemonand

itwasn’tCayman.Gratefultohavesomething

tofocusonotherthanthefact

thatI’djustshatteredZayne’shearttosmithereens,IstudiedthemanatthefrontofthestoreasIshiftedmyhairforward,shieldingmyface.Duetomydualheritage,demonshadneverbeenabletosenseme,whichmadethehuntingI’ddoneinthepasteasy-peasy.Onceagain,themixtureofWardenanddemonhadgivenmeauniqueabilitytotagdemons.One

touchandthey’dturnintoaneonlight,leavingatraceonthemthattheWardenscouldeasilytrack.Ihadn’ttaggeddemons

since...well,notsinceRothhadenteredmylife,showingmethatevendemonshadapurposeinlife.FromhimI’dlearnedthatsomedemonsweren’tallthatbad,likeFiends,whotendedtojustmessaroundwiththingslike

telephonepoles,constructionsites,anythingelectronic,andwereabitpronetobeingfirebugs.Thisdemondidn’tgiveoff

aFiendvibeandIwaswillingtobethealsowasn’taPoser,ademonwhosebiteturnedahumanintosomethingthatwouldresembleanextraonthesetofTheWalkingDead.No,thisdemonwasgiving

offtheUpperLevelkindofvibes,meaninghecouldbeaDukeoraKingoranyothervarietyofelitebaddie.Theyweren’tsupposedtobetopsidebecausethekindofstufftheycouldpulloffcouldreallywreaksomenasty,bloodyhavoc.Ifrowned.Which,apparently,meant

thatmaybeIshouldn’tbetopside,either.Ikept

forgettingthatInowsmelledlikethemandsortofresembledsomeofthem.Sigh.Thedemontiltedhishead

totheside,andalockofshockingwhite-blondhairfellacrossdarkbrowsthatstoodoutinstarkcontrast.Hehadarockerlooktohim,likeifthesilverchainheworebroke,hisskinnyjeanswouldfallrightoffhim.Scanningthe

coffeeshop,helookedmeover,keptgoing,andthenhisgazedartedbacktome.Ifroze.Thedemonfroze.Uh-oh.Demonscouldn’tsenseme,

buthewasstaringdirectlyatmelikeI’dsproutedathirdarmoutofthetopofmyhead.Hisfacepaledtothecolor

ofhishairashejerkedbacka

step,bumpingintoawomanwithapaleblueaura.Shenearlydroppedherbagandcoffeeasshetriedtosteparoundhim.Thenhespunonhisheel

andshovedanolderguyoutoftheway.Themanshouted,butthedemonreachedthedoor.Iwasn’tthinkingasIstood.Curiosityandsurprisehadaholdonme.Ihurriedacrosstheshop,leavingwhat

wasleftofmymochabehind.Iwasafewstepsbehindthedemonwhenheburstthroughthedoor,outontothesidewalk.Hesentapanickedlookoverhisshoulderinmydirection.Iskiddedtoastopunder

theawningoftheshop.“Uh...”Thedemonpickedup

speed,racingdownthesidewalk,disappearing

aroundtheblock,lostintheseaofmutedauras.“Um,”Imurmured,

glancingbehindmeandhalfexpectingtoseeapackofAlphas,butitwasjustme,myselfandI,andthatmeantonlyonething.TheUpperLeveldemon

hadrunaway—fromme.

six

IDIDN’TTELLCaymanabouttherunawayUpperLeveldemon,andhedidn’taskhowthetalkwentwithZayne,whichIwastotallycoolwith.Afteranear-silentride,hedroppedmeoffinfrontofthehouse.“Havefunwiththat,”was

allhesaid,andthenhe

zoomedoff.TurningtotheMcMansion,

IhadnoideawhatCaymanwasreferringto,butfiguredIwasgoingtofindoutsoonenough.Thehousewasdark,but

notquietwhenIwalkedinthefrontdoor,closingitbehindme.Thesharpriffofaguitar,quicklylostinthepoundingofdrums,driftedfromthesecondstory.

Frowning,Imademywaytowardthestairwell,andabouthalfwayupIfoundsomethingodd.Ibentandpickedupanemptybottleofbeer.Lookingup,Irealizedtherewasoneoneachstep,allthewaytothetop.Tenemptybottles.Ohdear.MyeyeswidenedasI

placedthebottlebackonthestair.TherewasnowayI

couldgatherthemallupwithoutgettingabagandthelastthingIwantedtodowasgodowntothepantry.Ipickedupmypace,hurryingtoclimbtherestofthesteps.Likeabread-crumbtrail,

bottleshadbeenperiodicallydroppedalongthewidehall,leadingtothebedroomRothhadstoppedinfrontoflastnightwhenIhadcontinuedontothemaster.

MyheartjumpedinmychestasIreachedhisroom.Thedoorwasajar,themusicheavyandthrumming.Softlightcreptoutofthegap.Takingadeepbreath,Ipushedopenthedoor—andcametoacompletestopjustinsidethemassivebedroom.Nothinginthisworld

could’vepreparedmeforwhatIwasseeing.Bambiwasboppingand

weavingacrossthehardwoodfloor.Shestopped,twistingherusuallygracefulbodytowardme.Thoseredeyeswereglossedover,unfocused.Herforkedtonguedartedout,andthenshewentaboutherbusiness,slowlymakingherwaytothewindowseat.There,sheshiftedhalfofhersix-foot-and-then-someframeontotheseatandpromptlyslidrightoff,floppingonto

thefloor.Concernfloodedme,butas

ItookasteptowardBambisomethingelsecaughtmyeye.Onthebed,Roth’sblack-and-whitekittenfamiliarwasattemptingtopounceontheall-whiteone,whichappearedtobepassedout,sprawledonitsback,itslittlearmsandlegsspreadwide.Theblack-and-whiteone,adeptlynamedFury,

jumpedtowardthesleepingNitro,missedbyablockandlandedonthepillow.Thekittenturnedintoafurryblack-and-whitetumbleweedasitrolledoffthepillow,smackingintoNitro.Mymouthdroppedopen.Thethirdkitten,anall-

blackonenamedThor,satonadresser,eyesnarrowedintothinslits.AsIstaredatThor,itswayedsidetoside.It

spottedmeandopeneditsmouthmostlikelytohissatme,becausethosekittenswerelittlebastards,butaratherhumanbelchemanatedfromitinstead.OhmyGod,thefamiliars

weredrunk.Alaughbubbledupfrom

me,butthedoorslammedshutbehindme,stealingawaythewildgiggle.OnesecondIwasstandingthereandwithin

thenextbreath,mybackwasagainstthedoor.Ahard,warmandverybarechestwasflushwithmine,andhotbreathskatedovermycheekastwohandshitthedoor,oneithersideofmyhead.“Whatareyoudoing

here?”Rothdemanded,andmyheartslammedagainstmyribs,thendoubleditsbeatashislipsbrushedthecurveofmyjaw.Heinhaleddeeply.

“Hell,yousmellgood.Likepeppermintand...andthesun.”Um.Ihadnoideahowto

respondtothat.“Iletyougo,”hewenton,

dippinghisheadtomyneck,andashiversweptthroughme.“Youwererightyesterday.Ihurtyou.Notlikehim.Worse.Iletyouwalkoutofthishousesoyoucouldbehappywithhim.Wasn’t

thatwhatyouwanted?Butyou’rehere.Iletyougoanditkilledmetodoso,andyou’rehere.”OhmyGod.Rothwasrambling,butmy

heartimplodedashiswordsstirredsomethingdeepandfierceinsideme.ThelookonhisfacethismorningwhenItoldhimIneededtotalktoZaynesuddenlymadesense.Ifhehadjustgivenmethe

chancetoexplainwhatIwasdoinghewouldn’thavethoughtthatIwasleavinghim,thatIwaschoosingZayne.ButRothhadletmegoso

thatIcouldbehappy.TheCrownPrinceofHell,whoclaimedtobethemostselfishofalldemons,hadletmewalkoutthatdoorwhenhebelievedI’dbehappierwithsomeoneelse.Wordswere

lostasadifferentkindoftearsfilledmyeyes.He’dsteppedasidetoprotectmeoncebefore,andhehaddonesoagainsothatIcouldbehappywithsomeoneelse.Therewasn’tanounceofselfishnessinanyofthoseactions.Actually,quitetheopposite,andtherevelationstitchedthefrayedcrackinmyheart,repairingthepainfulsplinter.Itdidn’theal

thescartissueleftbehindwhenIletZaynego,though.Thatwouldneverfade.Isqueezedmyeyesshut.Heslowlyliftedhischin

andrestedhisforeheadagainstmine.Hewhispered,“Whyareyouhere,Layla?”“I’mhere...I’mhere

becausethisiswhereI’mhappy,withyou.”Rothdidn’tmove,andI

wasn’tevensurehebreathed.

Therewasagoodchancemywordsdidn’tgetthroughthehazeofallthealcoholhe’dobviouslyconsumed,whichwasagoodindicationthatthisconversationneededtohappenlater.Iplacedmyhandsonhischest,abouttopointthatout,whenhemoved.Hisarmswentaroundme

andheheldmetighttohim.Ilikeditlikethis—morethan

liked.Everypartofourbodiestouchedasheburiedhisheadinmyneck,dragginginadeepbreath.Mypulsewaspoundingandmyhandstrembling.Adeepshudderrosethroughhimandheshookinmyarms,andthenhemoved.Claspingmycheeksinhis

largehands,hesaidsomethingtoolowandtooquickformetounderstandas

hetiltedmyheadbackandkissedme.Therewasnothingsoftaboutit.Hismouthwasonmine,themetalballinhistongueclankingoffmyteethashepressedmeintothedoor.Hetastedofsomethingsweetandthebittertangofalcoholwasstillonhistongue.LittleshiversofpleasureracedthroughmybodyasImoanedintothekiss.Myhandssliduptohis

shouldersandmyfingersdugintohissmoothskin.Thekisswasdoingcrazystufftomysenses,obliteratingmycommonsensewhenthelowerhalfofhimpressedagainstmine.Anditfeltlikeithadbeen

foreversinceIfeltthis.Thesweetwildnessthatcamefromasinglekissandthereleaseandfreedomoffinallylettinggo,ofcompleteand

utteracceptance,ofhavingwhatIwanted,whatIyearnedfor.Theimmediateandabsoluterushofdesiresopotentitcloudedmythoughts,andthenervousenergyandelationthatcamefromtastingloveonthetipofmytongue.Nothingcomparedtothis.Rothbrokethekiss,

breathingheavilyashecradledmyface.“Sayit

again,”heorderedroughly.“Sayitagain,Layla.”Icouldbarelycatchmy

breath.“I’mhappyherewithyou.I...”Idraggedmyhandsuphisneck,smoothingmythumbsalonghisjaw.TherewasmoreIwantedtosay,buthegraspedmywristsandjustheldtheminhishands,staringdownatthem,sayingnothing.Myheartpoundedfast,butmybloodfelt

sluggish.Alockofblackhairfell

intohisfaceandwhenhefinallyliftedhischin,thevulnerabilitywasinhisgazeagain.Hisbeautywasunreal,almosttooperfect,butinthatmoment,helookedmorehumanthanheeverhadbefore.“I’ve...I’vebeendrinking.”NotexactlywhatIhad

beenexpectinghimtosay.“I

cantell.”Lettinggoofmyhands,he

tookastepbackandturned,givingmearatherniceviewofhistonedback.IwashappytoseewhenhetwistedsidewaysthatThumperwasonhim—adrunknot-so-pocket-sizedragonwould’vebeennolaughingmatter.Iwasalsohappytoseeallthedipsandplanesofhisstomach.

Reallyhappy.Thosepantshungsolowit

wasalmostindecent.Almost.Hepickedupabottleoffthedresser.Heshookit.“IgotmyselfsodrunkthatIbecameliterallyincapableofgoingafteryouandstoppingyou.”Hestudiedtheemptybottleheheld,frowning.“Butdidyouknowthatintoxicationworksdifferentlyforus?Itonlylastedformaybeanhour

andthenIjustfeltlikeshit,soIhadtodrinksomemore.AaandImightbealittledrunkstill...”Ipressedmylipstogether

tostopfromlaughing.“I’llsay.”Onesideofhislipsquirked

upashecastasidelongglanceatme.“IknowIshouldn’tbedrinking.Itmakesmeanaughty,naughtyboy.”

“Yeah,andapparentlyitalsomakesyourfamiliarsdrunk.”IgesturedatBambi,whowasslumberingwhereshe’dfallen,apatheticsnakyheaponthefloor.“Maybeyoudon’tgetasintoxicatedbecauseyourpoorfriendstheresoakupalltheeffects.”Rothtippedhisheadtothe

side.“Huh.Liveandlearn.”Heturnedbacktome,andtherewasarecognizableheat

inhisgaze.“Iwanttokissyouagain.”Eventhoughtherewere

partsofmethatwerelike,allaboardtheRothtrain,Iknewthiswasnotgoingtohappentonight,forsomanyreasons.“Asyoupointedout,you’redrunk.”Hefacedmewithhischin

dippedlowandhisfulllipsslightlyparted.“Istillwanttokissyou.Iwanttodoother

things.Alotofitinvolvestouching,withandwithoutclothes.”Mycheeksheated.Tippinghisheadback,he

sighedheavily.“Butyeah,drunk.Sorry.”“Roth.”Itookacautious

steptowardhim.Evenplastered,hewasfast.“Howlonghaveyoubeendrinking?”Oneshoulderroseashe

turnedtothebed.“Sinceyouleft?IfIdidn’t,Iwould’vegoneafteryouandpossiblyletThumpereatStony,andyouwouldn’tbeokaywiththat.”“No,”Iwhispered.“I

wouldn’tbe.”“MaybeIshouldn’thave

drunkthismuch.Youdon’t...Yeah,youdeservebetterthanthis.”Hestoppedatthefootofthebed,staringatmeashe

scrubbedhisfingersthroughhismessyhair.“Areyoureallyhere?OrdidImanagetobecomethefirstdemonevertohavealcoholpoisoning?”Partofmewantedtoburst

intolaughter,buttherewasatightknotofsadnessdeepinmychest.Itwasformedbyabitter,rancidguilt.Myactionshadsucharippleeffect.Ofcourse,Ihadn’t

heldthosebottlestoRoth’smouth,butI’dneverevenseenhimdrinkbefore.“I’mreallyhere,”Itold

him.Helookedlikehewas

abouttosaysomethingashewenttositonthefootofthebed.Istartedforward,alreadyseeingthathe’dmisjudgedthedistance,butitwastoolate.Rothhitthefloorinfront

ofthebed,smackontherear.Hetossedhisheadback,laughingloudlyasIclappedmyhandovermymouth.Ihadn’tbeensurewhatIwascomingbacktoafterleavingthecoffeeshop.Therehadbeenthisfear—albeitirrationalfear—thatRothwasjustgoingtopatmeonmyheadandsendmeonmyway.Thentherewasapartofmethatthoughthe’dsweepme

intohisarms,professinghisundyingloveforme.Eitherway,findinghimdrunkhadn’tevenbeenintherealmofpossibilities.Hesettleddown,resting

hishandsonhisthighsashelookedoveratme.“So,youreallycameback?”Inodded,thensaidyesfor

extrabang.Hisgazedroppedandhe

sighedheavily.“Ibetyou’re

regrettingthatnow.”“No,”Irepliedwithout

hesitationasIwalkedovertowherehesat.“Idon’tregretit.”Heliftedabrow,butit

didn’terasethelostlookhewore.“Really?”Easingtothefloorbeside

him,Ishookmyhead.“You’redrunk.Bigdeal.Imean,youprobablyshouldn’tbethisdrunk,butyou’renot

even...human.Andyou’reliketheCrownPrinceofHell.Idon’tthinkconsumingalcoholisadealbreakerwhereyoucomefrom.”“Nah,Iguessnot.”Hebent

onelegatthekneeashewethislips.“You...Idon’twantyoutolookbackandthink,wow,thatwasaterribledecision,becausehewould’ve—”“Stop,”Isaid.Pleaded

really.“I’mnotgoingtoregretmydecisionevenifyouenduprunningforthehillsscreamingtogetawayfromme.”“Idon’tthinkthat’sgoing

tohappen,”hesaiddrily.Iscootedcloserand

stretchedoutmylegsnexttohis.“WhatI’mtryingtosayisthatImademydecision.I’mnotgoingtoregretit.Nomatterwhathappensbetween

us.”Bitingdownonmylip,Iwatchedanarrayofemotionscreepacrosshisstrikingface.“Look,Idon’tthinkweshouldtalkaboutthisrightnow.Itcanwait.Itneedstowait,becauseI...IthinkIreallyhurtZaynetonight.No.IknowIdid.Andyou’renotintherightframeofmind.”Ihaltedagain,becausewow,IsoundedsomatureIkindofwantedtopatmyselfonthe

back.“Thiscanwait.Wehavetomorrow.”Rothdidn’trespondashe

studiedme,andIhadnoideawhathewasthinkinginthatheadofhis,butthenheleanedover.Heputthatheadinmylap,likehe’ddonethatnightI’dwokenupafterbeinghealedbythewitches’brew,butthistime,Ididn’thesitate.Myhandsdidn’tlingerforasecond.They

immediatelywenttohim,onethreadingthroughthesilky,blackstrandsandtheothercurvingaroundhisshoulder.Hecurledontohissideand

closedhiseyes.Thicklashesframedhischeeks.Severalmomentspassedinsilence,butIknewhewasn’tasleep.Hismusclesweretootense.“I’ve...I’vedonesomereallycrappythings,Layla.”MychestsqueezedasI

stareddownathim,andinthatmoment,Iwasn’tthinkingabouttheLilinormywingsorevenSamorZayne.Iwas100percentfocusedonRoth,andtheworldaroundusandalltheproblemsitkeptservingupfadedtothewayside.“Ikindoffiguredthatyouhave.”Andthatwastrue.Hewasafull-bloodedUpperLeveldemon—aCrownPrinceatthat.I’d

neverfooledmyselfintobelievinghewasasaintmaskedasasinner.“Reallyshadythings,”he

murmured.“Gotit.”Mylipstwitched.Hemanagedtogetoneof

hisarmscurledaroundmyleg.“The...firsttimeIwassenttopsidebytheBosswasonlyayearafterIwascreated.IwastofindaDukewhowasnolongerheeding

theBoss’ssummons,”hecontinuedasIgentlyworkedmyfingersthroughhishair.Ididn’tdarespeak,becauseRothhadneverreallytalkedopenlyaboutwhathisBosshadhimdoing.“TheDukehadfoundawoman,ahuman.Idon’tthinksheknewwhathereallywas.Notthatitmattered.TheBosswascallinghimback,buthewouldn’tleaveher.”

Bitingtheinsideofmycheek,Ihadafeelingthatthisstorywasn’tgoingtoendwithahappily-ever-after.“Therewereotherswith

me,who’dgottencalledin.”Hisarmtightenedaroundmyleg.“Thingsgot...messy.”Iclosedmyeyes,heart

aching.“Thatwasn’ttheonlytime.

Therewereother...situationslikethat.Andthese

situations,well,theyneverweighedonmebefore.It’snotinmygeneticmakeuptofeelguilt.”Awrygrinflashedacrosshisfaceandquicklydisappeared.“Notuntilyou.NowIthinkaboutthesethingsandIwonderifthereisany...goodnessinme.Orwhatyoucouldpossiblysee.”Ohgosh,myheartwas

breakingalloveragain.Ididn’tknowwhatitwaslike

tobeRoth,tobesomethingthatwasjustthelatestinthelonglinethatcamebeforehim.OtherPrincesthattheBosshadgrowntiredof,destroyedinonewayoranother,beforecreatingthisversionofAstaroth.AndIdidn’tknoweverythingRothhaddoneinhispast,butinallhonestly,Ididn’tcare.WhowasItojudge?BeingthatIwasnowherenearperfectand

wasalsopartdemon,myself,I’ddonethingsIwishedIhadn’t,andIknewtherewouldbethingsinthefuturethatI’dwanttotakeback.ButRothhadspenteighteenyearskeepingtheBossofHellhappy.Noneofhisdarknesssurprisedme.Itjustsaddenedme.Leaningdown,Ikissedhis

cheek,andasIstraightened,heturnedwideambereyeson

me.“Iseewhatyoudon’t.”Iranmyhandupanddownhisarm.“You’renotselfish,evenifyouhavemomentsofactinglikeit.Wealldo.You’renotevil,evenifyouwerecreatedbythegreatestevilofthemall.You’veproventomeandyourselfthatyouhavefreewill,andyou’vemadetherightdecisionstimeandtimeagain.”

AsIdraggedmyhanduphisarm,heshuddered.“You’veacceptedwhoandwhatIamfromthebeginning.You’venevertriedtochangemeor...orhideme.You’vealwaystrustedme,evenwhenyouprobablyshouldn’thave.”Ilaughedatthat,thinkingofthetimehe’dleftmealoneinthePalisadesclubwithexplicitinstructionsnottoroamoff.

“You’ve...you’vecelebratedwhatIam,andveryfewcanclaimthat.LikeI’vesaidbefore,you’remorethanthelatestCrownPrince.You’reRoth.”Foramoment,hedidn’t

moveorblink.Thenwondermentfilledhisexpressionashestaredupatme,andfinally,thetensioneasedoutofhismuscles.“AndI’myours.”

seven

ATSOMEPOINT,ImanagedtotuckRothintobedandBambieventuallyfollowed.Thatwasquitethespectacletowitness,ablitzeddemonicanacondaattemptingtoslitherontoabed.Ihadtostepinandliftherbackend,andthenI’dcarefullyscoopedupthekittenpassed

outonthedresserandplaceditonthebed,aswell.IcouldonlyhopeBambiwouldn’teatlittleThorifshewokeupinthemiddleofthenightwithdrunkenhungerpains.ThenIsetaboutcleaning

upthebottles.Istoppedcountingtheonesthathadbeeninthebedroomandtooktherattlingbagouttothetrash.Afterward,Imademyselfasandwichand

checkedinonStacey.Shewasdoingaswellas

couldbeexpected,andshealsoconfirmedthatRothhadindeedmadeananonymouscall.“Thepolicecamebythisafternoon.Momthoughtitwasaboutthehousefire,butitwas...itwasaboutSam.”Sittinginthelivingroom,

curledupagainstthebackofanoversizecushion,Iclosedmyeyes.“Hisfamily...”

“Iknow.”Herbreathwasshakythroughtheconnection.“Theytoldme.TheyalsoaskedifI’dseenhim.Iwentwiththelasttimehe’dbeenatschool.Yesterday.”“Thatwassmart.”Apause,andthen,“God,

Layla,howdidanyofthishappen?Twomonthsago,Iwould’veneverseenanyofthiscoming—Holdon,”shesaid,andIheardadoor

closing.“Mymomhasbeenfollowingmearoundeversincethepoliceshowedup.She’sworriedandscared.ThepolicethinkthatSam...thathesnappedandwipedouthisfamily.It’sgoingtobealloverschooltomorrow,andit’snotright.Youknow?ThatpeoplearegoingtobelievethatSamdidsomethinglikethat.”“Itisn’t,”Iagreed,opening

myeyes.Therewasapaintinghungonthewallacrossfromme.Apicturesqueroadwithautumnonfulldisplay,butthebrightorangesandredsweredulled.“Samdidn’tdeserveanyofthis.”“Noneofusdo.”There

wasanotherdeepinhaleonherend.“Okay.Ineedtobedistracted,becauseotherwiseI’mgoingtoloseitagain.

I’vebeenlosingitabouteveryhour,onthehour.Okay?Distractme.”“Um...”Mybrainemptied.

Realhelpfulthere.“Ah,Isuckatthis.”Shelaughedhoarsely.

“What’sRothdoing?”“Well,he’s...Yeah,he’s

kindofincapacitatedrightnow.”Icringed,knowinghowthatsounded.“Really?”Interestperked

hertone.“Why?”Iglancedatthewide

archway.“ItoldhimthismorningthatIneededtotalktoZayne,andIguesshethoughtthatmeantthatIwasgoingtotellZayneIwantedtobewithhim.Sohemighthavegottenalittledrunk.”Astrangledgigglecame

throughthephoneandmyheartliftedatthesound.“Areyouserious?”

“Yep.Andhisfamiliars?They’redrunk,too.”Ipaused,grinningalittle.“Itwasquitetheshow.”“Icanimagine.Nope.

Wait.Ican’t.Youneedtogogetpicturesofthisforme.”Ismiledeventhoughthat

wasnotgoingtohappen.“So...youdon’twanttobe

withZayne?You’vebeenobsessedwithhimsinceImetyou.”

“Iwouldn’tsayobsessed.”ItfeltreallywrongtalkingaboutthiswithStacey,butshe’daskedtobedistracted,soIwoulddowhatevershewanted.“YouknowIloveZayne.Alwayshaveandwill,butRoth?He’s...”“He’stheone,”shesaid

quietly.“Yeah.Asmuchashe

annoystheever-lovingcrudoutofme,Ikindoflovethat

hedoes.Iknowthatsoundstwisted,butit’strue.”Iunfurledmylegsandstood,curlingonearmaroundmystomachasIstartedtopacethelengthoftheroom,wearingalittlepathintheOrientalcarpet.“I...Ilovehim,Stacey.Ireallydo.”“I’mnotsurprised,”was

herresponse.IstartedtogrinagainasI

mademysecondpassinfront

ofthecouch.“Oh,really?”“Nope.I’veseentheway

helooksatyou.Seenthewayyoulookathim.ItwasalwaysdifferentwithZayne.Notknockinghim.YouknowI’dgiveupmyleftovaryforashotatthat—God,that’skindofreallybadformrightnow,isn’tit?Liketoosoonevenasajoke?”Shesighedheavily.“I’materribleperson.”

“No!Oh,goshno!Don’tthinkthatatall,andyou’renotaterribleperson.”“Can...canIaskyou

something?Andyou’llanswermehonestly?”Istoppedinfrontofthe

painting.“Ofcourse.”“Promise,”shewhispered.“Promise.”Amomentpassedbefore

shespoke.“I’vebeenthinkingaboutthisalot.I

neverreallystartedpayingattentiontoSamuntilhestartedchanging,youknow?Whenhestarteddressingdifferentlyandstylinghishair.Whenhestartedgettingconfident...”Ohno.“Andthiswholetime,all

ofthat,itwasneverSam.”Hervoicecrackedalittle.“Thatwasthatthingpretendingtobehim.Does

thatmeanIfellforthatthing,Layla?AndnotSam?Andwhatdoesthatsayaboutme?”“Oh,Stacey...don’tgo

downthatpath.Thetruthis,IthinkyoualwayslikedSam,itjusttookyouawhiletorecognizeit.Youdidn’tfallfortheLilin.”“Yousure?”Hervoice

soundedtinyandsoveryyoung.

“I’msureofthat,andlookatitthisway.TheLilin,itactedlikeSamsomuchthatnoneofuscouldtellthedifference.YouthoughtitwasSam.IthoughtitwasSam—aversionofhimthatfinallyfiguredouthowtouseacomb.”Stacey’slaughwasa

pleasantshocktomyears.“Yeah.Okay.”Tinyknotsformedinmy

belly.“YougetwhatI’msaying,right?Youdon’tthinkthataboutyourself.”“No.Imean,Ijust...I

neededtohearyousaywhatyousaid.That’sall,”shepromised,andIhopedshewastellingthetruth.“WhencanIseeyousoIcangetthedeetsaboutyouandRothinperson?”Iwasn’tsurewhatdetailsI

couldgivehersincewereally

hadn’ttalked,atleastnotwhenbothofusweresober.“YougoingtoclassonMonday?”“Probablyso.Whatabout

you?”Myshouldersslumped.“I

reallywantto,butrightnowwe’vegottofigureouthowtotakecareoftheLilin,andI’vemissedsomuchtime.”“Oh,Layla.”Ishookmyhead,not

wantingtodwellonthatatthismoment.“Onceeverythingissquaredaway,I’llfiguresomethingout.Anyway,Icantrytocomeseeyouafterschool.Dependsonwhatwedo.”Wemadeplanstotexteach

other,butbeforeIgotoffthephone,shestoppedme.“Layla?”“Yeah?”Hersharpinhalewas

audible.“PromisemethatyouwillhelpSam.Thatwecanmakethisrightforhim.”Myfreehandsqueezed

intoafist,untilthetipsofmynailsdugintomypalms.“IpromisedyouIwould.I’mnotgoingtobreakthatpromise.”

***

Oncenighthadfallenanda

quickcheckassuredmethatRothwasstillasleep,surroundedbysnoringfamiliars,Igrabbedaquiltoffthefootofthemasterbedandsteppedoutontoabalconythatfacedsomekindofnaturereserve.Asmall,mistycloudof

visiblebreathpartedmylipsasItippedmyheadback.Thenightwasclear,fullofstarsthattwinkledlikeathousand

tiny,distantdiamonds.Iwalkedtotherailing,pullingtheblanketclosertome.Mymindwouldn’tshut

down.Somuchwascyclingoverandover.TheconversationwithStaceyreplayed,lingeringonherfears.Iachedforher,wishingtherewassomethingmorethatIcoulddo,buttheonlyavenuelefttomewastofreeSam’ssoul,soIwoulddoit.I

alreadyknewwheretostart—withGrim.Ijustneededtowaituntilnextweek,andthatsickenedme,becausewhoknewwhatwouldhappentoSam’ssoulbetweennowandthen.Weneededtodealwiththe

Lilin,becauseIknewitwasn’tgoingtogoundergroundforverylong,butmythoughtsshiftedtothedemonwho’drunfromme

todayandthentomyfeatheredwings.Inevitably,thatmademethinkabouttheAlphasandwhytheythoughtIwassuchanabominationnow,whenI’dbeenentirelytolerableforseventeenyears.Iwasguessingithad

somethingtodowiththewingsandthewayIshifted.Astarbrokeawayfromthe

masses,shootingacrosstheskyanddrawingmy

attention.WhenIwasyounger,Iusedtothinktheywereangelscomingdown.Zayneknewbetter,buthe’dhumoredmeandmadeupstoriesabouthowtheywereguardianangelsarrivingtoprotecttheircharges.Squeezingmyeyesshut,it

hurtwhenIdrewinmynextbreath.Idon’tknowhowlongIstoodoutthere,butmynosewascoldandmylips

feltnumbbythetimeIheadedinside.Droppingtheblanketonthebed,IchangedintomypajamasbutstoppedbeforeIcouldclimbintothebed.Heartspeedingup,I

wheeledaroundandlefttheroom.Ididn’tgivemyselftimetoreallythinkaboutwhatIwasdoingasIwalkedtotheroomRothsleptin.Openingthedoor,Islipped

insideandquietlyapproachedthebed.Rothwaslyingonhisside,

facingthedoor.Hislipswereslightlypartedandhishairwasamessytumbleacrosshisforehead.Theblanketwasshoveddowntohisleanwaist,andIcouldseethatBambihadfoundherwaybacktohim.Sherestedintattooformalonghisleftarm.Itlookedlikeapartofher

wasonhisback,butIcouldn’tseetobecompletelysure.Ididn’tseethekittensbutIknewfromexperiencethattheycouldbeanywhere,readytopounceonmyfeetandankles.Ididn’twanttogobackto

mybed,alonewithallmythoughts.Iwantedtobehere,withhim.Withmyheartlodgedsomewhereinmythroat,Idartedovertothe

bed,liftedtheblanketandclimbedin.Themovementsdidn’t

wakeRoth,andforthat,Iwasrelieved,becauseIfeltweird,sneakingintohisbedlikeanall-starcreeper.Rolledonmyside,facinghim,ItookthecreeperstatustoawholenewlevelasIletmygazeroamoverhisface.Myfingersitchedtotracethelineofhischeek,butIkeptmyhands

foldedupundermychin,andafterafewminutes,allthewhirlingthoughtsinmyheadcalmed.Beingnearhim,well,itsettledmeinawayIsodesperatelyneeded.WhileIlistenedtohis

steadyandevenbreaths,myeyesdriftedshut.Onlyafewminuteslater,asIstartedtofallasleep,Iheardwhatsoundedlikeaminienginehumming,comingfromthe

othersideofRoth.Ittookmeasecondtorealizethatitwasoneofthosedevilkittens,anddespitehoweviltheywere,asmiletuggedatmylips.Isleptdeeply,lulledbythe

nearbywarmthofRoth’sbody,andIwasn’tsurehowmanyhourshadpassedwhenIfeltanarmsnagmearoundthewaistandtugmetotheside.Thefrontofmehitahardchest,andIblinkedmy

eyesopen.Ambereyesstaredinto

mine.“Morning.”Hisvoicewasroughwith

sleepandhisbreathwasminty,asifhe’dbrushedhisteethbeforecrawlingbackintobed.SleepclungtomythoughtsasIdraggedmygazeup.Hishairwasdamp.Hemust’vereadmy

confusioninmyface.“Ifreshenedup,”heexplained.

Liftingonehand,hecaughtastrandofmyhairwithhisfingersandtuckeditbehindmyear.“YouweredeadtotheworldwhenIwokeup.ThoughtI’dusethetimetoerasethefunkthatlingeredfromlastnight.”Hisgazemovedovermyfaceasthetipsofhisfingerstrailedapathalongthelineofmybrow.“Ihavetoadmit,wakingupandfindingyouin

mybedwasapleasantsurprise.”Mytonguecameunstuck.

“Itwas?”“Yeah.”Hisfingernow

tracedmynose.“WhenIwokeup,IrealizedI’dneverdonethatbefore.Notwithyou.Notwithanyone.Ialways...”ThefewtimesI’dfallen

asleepinbedwithhim,he’dalwaysbeengonewhenI

wokeup,withtheexceptionofthetimeIwashealing,buthedidn’tseemtocountthatandneitherdidI.Astrangesmileplayed

acrosshislips.Notstrangeinabadway,butjustoneI’dneverseenfromhimbefore.Itoozedboyishcharm.“IlikeditsomuchthatI’mnowspoiled.OnemorningandI’mspoiledforlife.Iwantyouhereeverymorning,withme.

Well,maybeinthemasterbedroom.Thatbedismorecomfortable.”Thehazeofsleepwas

easingaway,andIfoundmyselfgrinningathimlikeanutterdoofus.“Ithoughtthisbedwasnice.”“BecauseIwasinit?”“Wow.”Mygoofygrin

spread.“Goodtoseeyouregoisstillfunctioningnormally.”

Dragginghisfingerovermybrow,hechuckleddeeply.Thesoundfaded,asdidhisgrin.“Aboutlastnight?I’m...I’msorryaboutthat,”hesaid,strugglingwiththeapology,andforsomereasonthatmademewanttogiggle.Demonsdidnotapologizeeasily.Thewordsorrywasn’tintheirvocab.“IhonestlythoughtyouwereleavingandIgotmyselfshit-facedsoI

wouldn’tgoafteryou.That’snotanexcuse.Iknow,butIreallyamsah...sorryaboutthat.”“It’sokay.Youwerecute.”“Cute?”Hisfingershad

madetheirwaytomyjaw.“Iprefersexybeast.”Agigglefinallyescaped

me.“Sorry,I’mprettysurethatdescriptionisreservedforThumper.”Hisgazesearchedmineas

hisfingersstoppedonmychin,rightunderthecenterofmylips.“Howareyoudoing?”WhenIdidn’tanswer,hesmoothedhisthumbalongmylowerlip.“Icanputtwoandtwotogether.YoutalkedtoZayneyesterdayafternoonandyou’rewakingupwithmetoday.Iknowitcouldn’thavebeeneasyforyou.”“Itwasn’t,”Iwhispered,

thinkingoftheanguishI’dseeninZayne’sexpression.Thosewereapartofthethoughtsthathauntedmelastnight.Lightbeamedthroughthe

crackinthethickcurtainsbeyondthebed,caressinghischeek.“Sohowareyou?”AtfirstIstartedtotellhim

thatIwasokay,butthatwouldbealie.Sortof.AndIdidn’twanttheretobeany

moreliesbetweenus.“Itwashard,”Iadmitted,placingmyhandonhischest.Hejerkedalittle,andIlikedthat—thatmytouchhadthatkindofeffect.“ProbablyoneofthehardestthingsI’vehadtodo,becauseIcareabouthim.IlovehimandIneverwantedtohurthim.Ever.”“Iknow.”Hislipsbrushed

myforehead.“Losingyouwouldnotbeeasy,butI

think...”“What?”Iletmyfingersdo

abitofexploring.Itwasstrange,Ithought,asIdrewacirclearoundhischest,thattouchinghimlikethiswaskindofempowering.NotinthesamewayholdingmygroundagainstRaverdemonsorstandinguptomyclanwas,butitwasstillaheadysensation.“Ican’tbelieveI’mgoing

tosaythis,”heconfidedwithasigh.“Stonyisagoodguy,buthe’sprobablygoingtoneedhisspace.”Iclosedmyeyesbriefly.

“Yeah,Iknow.”Thearmaroundmywaist

tightened.“Canwedosomething?”Myfingersstoppedonthe

firsttightlyrolledab.“Um.”“Dirtygirl,getyourmind

outofthegutter.Iwasn’t

talkingaboutthatstuff.Yet,”headdedinawaythatmademytummytighten.“WhatImeantwas,canwestartlastnightover?”Ididn’tgetit.“Howso?”“Iwasplastered,butI

thinkyoutoldmeyouwantedtobewithme,andwell,Iwanttohearyousaythatagain.”Myheartdidabackflipand

Itiltedmyheadback,sothat

ourmouthswereclose.“Iwanttobeherewithyou.”Thearmaroundmetightenedevenmore,sealingmetohischestlikehehadlastnight,andonceagain,Ireallylikedit.“Iwanttobewithyou.”Rothpressedhisforehead

againstmineasherolledslightlyontohisback,bringingmewithhim.Iendeduplyinghalfonhim,bothhandsbracedonhis

chestandmylegstangledinhis.Thearmonmywaistwasunshakableandthehandcurledaroundthenapeofmynecksentariotofsensationsskitteringdownmyspine.ButIwasn’tdone.Staring

intoeyesthatwereasbrightandbeautifulasanytawnyjewel,IsaidwhatIhadneversaidbefore.AndIsaiditwitheveryounceofmybeingbehindit.“Iloveyou,Roth.”

Myvoiceshookwithemotion.“I’minlovewithyou.”Rothshiftedagain.This

timeIwasonmybackandhewasaboveme,hisonelegthrustbetweenmineandhishandstillcradlingmyneck.“Sayitonemoretime,”hepleadedinavoicebarelyaboveawhisper.“Iloveyou.Iloveyou.”

AndIsaiditagainandagain,

untilIcouldn’tsayitanymore,becausehe’dsilencedmewithhismouth.Thekisswasnothinglike

lastnight.Hislipsweregentleonmine,asweetsweepthatwasatsuchoddswithhisenormousstrength,andIfeltitineverypartofme.Hekissedmesoftly,andthenliftedupjustenoughsothatIcouldseehim.Tuggingmyhandoffhisshoulder,he

claspedhisfingersaroundmineanddrewourjoinedhandstohischestandpressedthemtogether.Icouldfeelhisheartbeatingstrongly.“Icovetyoulikeanygood

demonwould.”Hisotherhandtightenedatthebackofmyneck.“Andmydesireforyouincreaseseverywakingsecondinawaythatshouldfrightenme,butreallyjustexcitesme.Butmostofall,I

loveyou,”hesaid,andmyentirebodyjoltedatthewords.Hedidn’tseemtonotice.“I,Astaroth,CrownPrinceofHell,aminlovewithyou,LaylaShaw.Yesterday.Today.Tomorrow.Ahundreddecadesfromnow,Iwillstillbeinlovewithyou,anditwillbeasfiercetodayasitwillbeadecadelater.”Hearinghiswordswaslike

bear-huggingthesun.Warmthpouredintomeandhedrovethosewordshomewithakissthatwentbeyondthesoft,questingonewe’djustshared.Itwasdeepandthorough,andIfeltlikehewasclaimingmeandIwasclaiminghiminreturn.Thatfinally,afterallthistime,we’ddestroyedthatlinebetweenusandtherewasnogoingback.

“Iloveyou”wassaidoverandover,inbetweenkissesandtheninbetweenthemoansthosekisseseventuallywroughtfromus.Evenwhenwemovedbeyondthewords,itwasscreamedineverykissandtouch.Droppingourhands,Roth

grippedmyhipashepressedhisbodytomine.Thethinpajamabottomsofferednorealbarrierbetweenus,not

whenweweresogreedyforeachother.Iwantedhim,sobadlythatIachedinawaythathadtobephysical,totallywasphysical,butitwentfurther,deeper,tattooingmyskin,carvingoutmymuscleandetchingintomybones.Andhehadtofeelthesame,becauseIcouldfeelhowmuchhewantedthiswitheveryrollofhishipsandwhenheslippedhishand

undermyshirt,draggingthematerialupandup,Icouldbarelybreathe.Myheartjackhammeredasheroseupononearmandstareddownatme.Iwasbarefromthewaist

up,andwhilethiswasn’tthefirsttimehe’dseensomuchofme,anestofcannibalisticbutterfliesstartedflappingtheirwingsinmybelly.Myexperienceinthesesituations

waslimited,butthestarkhungerinhisfierygazewasevidentandIknewintheverycoreofmybeingthathewasthrilledwithwhathesaw.Andheproveditwithhis

words.“Beautiful,”hesaid,voice

thickashelightlytrailedhisfingersacrossmybelly.Ijerked,andthenbitdownonmylip.“Youaresobeautiful,

Layla.AndifIcouldpickonethingIcouldstareatfortherestofeternity,itwouldbeyou.”Myheartswelledsofast

andsobigIthoughtI’dfloatrightuptotheceilingandintothestars.MaybeeventotheHeavensthemselves.Roth’sfingersdriftedup,

hiscaressreverent.“Itwouldalwaysbeyou.”Thenhewaskissingme

again,andthesekisses,thesemomentswereprecious,powerfulandbeautifulintheirownway.Roth’slipsskatedovermy

cheektowardmyear,andhewhisperedwordsthatsentaheadyflushacrossmyskinandcausedmymusclestocurlinastrange,delightfulway.Whenheliftedhishead,hisgazewasquestioning,wantingandathousandother

things.Inodded.Onesideofhislipstipped

up,andthenhesaid,“Thankyou.”Notasinglepartofme

understoodwhyhewasthankingme,butthenallthoughtsflewoutthewindow,becausehekissedthecornerofmylips,andthenstartedalineoftinykissesthattrailedfrommy

chindownmythroatandthenfartherstill.Myfingersdugintothe

comforterwhenhestopped,andthenlingered,drawingastutteredgaspfromme.Ireallydidn’tgetwhyhewasthankingmewhilehewasdoingthis,becauseitshouldtrulybetheotherwayaround.Hislipsskimmedovermy

ribs.“Ithinkweneedtogetyouatattoo.”

Ittookmeafewminutesforhiswordstomakesense.“A...atattoo?”“Yeah.”Hekissedjust

abovemybellybutton.“Afamiliar.”“Icandothat?”Rothliftedhischinand

grinnedinawaythatcausedmyhearttofloparound.“Idon’tseewhynot,andIknowwhocandooneforyou.”Hisgazetraveleddown

thelengthofme,sendingashiverdancingovermyskin.“Thiswouldbeagoodspot.”Hedraggedhishandoverthesideofmyribs.“Orhere?”Thatsamehandmadeitswayunderthebandofmypajamabottomsandcurledaroundmyhip.Hisgazeheated.“Ireallyliketheideaofitbeinghere.”“Doesitreallymatter

whereit’sinkedon?”Iasked.

“It’sgoingtomoveanyway,right?”“Oh,itmatters.”Hekissed

thespotbelowmynavel.“Mostlyjustmatterstome.”Ilaughed.“Okay,then.”Grinning,heroseonce

more,climbingoverme.Hisarmswerehugeandpowerfulandhishandscamedownoneithersideofmyhead.Mybreathcaughtashislipstookcontrolofmine.Iwrapped

myarmsaroundhim,holdinghimclose.Histonguesweptovermine,andthetasteofhimdrovemecrazy.Rothwentonthemove

again,slidingdownoncemore.Myfingersplayedinhishair,andIcouldnolongerkeeptrackofwherehewasheading,becauseheobliteratedanycomprehensivethinkingskills.

Idon’tevenknowhowmybottomscameofforwheretheyendedup.Itwaslikemagic.Rothwasmagic.Healsohadthisdelightfulmischievoustilttohislipashishandstraveleduptheoutsideofmythighs.Therewasnothingbetweenmyskinandhishands,andIcouldfeeleverytouchandeventhesoftestcaresswaslikebeinghitbyvoltsofelectricity.

“Shortie?”Iloosenedmygriponhis

hair,lettingmyhandsfallbacktothecomforter.“Yeah?”“Whataboutgettingatat

here?”Hekissedthesideofmythigh,rightabovemyknee,ontheinside.“It’saveryinterestingplace.Ilikeit.”Ibitdownonmylowerlip.

“I’msureyoudo.”

Hiseyesflaredabrightocher.“YouknowwhatelseI’vebeenthinking?”Withhim,itwasanyone’s

guess.“IthinkI’mgoingtohave

tomakeitofficial.Youknow,mebeingthepresidentofthedemonhordeLaylafanclub.”Alaughburstoutofme.

“Whatareyougoingtodo?Makeyourselfashirtthatsaysyou’retheofficial

president?”“Andbuttons.I’mtotally

goingtomakemyselfsomebuttons.”Istartedtolaugh,buthis

fingersfoundthethinmaterial—theonlythingleftonme—andthingsweremostdefinitelygoingfurtherthantheyhadbefore.Iwasnervous,butIalsotrustedhim.Irememberedwhathe’dwhisperedinmyearearlier.I

knewthiswouldonlygosofar.Beforemynervescouldgetthebetterofme,hislipswerewherehishandswere,andIwasnolongerthinkingaboutanything.Therewasonlyfeeling—justhimandthecrazy,beautifulrushofsensationshecoaxedoutofme.Hewasamasteratit,absolutelybrilliant,becauseIdidn’tfeellikeme.Ididn’tshakeandtremblelikethis

andthosesoftnoisesweresonotcomingfromme.Iwaslikeapieceofclothbeingpulledtootight,untilsuddenlyallthetensionbroke,andIwascaughtinthewhirlwind,thrownsoveryhigh,Icouldkissthestars.Rothslowlyrose,wiggling

anarmundermeandpullingmeagainsthischest.WhenIopenedmyeyes,helookedlikehe’dhadhismindblown,

butthatwasstrange,becausehewastheonedoingallthemind-blowing.Iwastheoneonthereceivingend.“That...”Mytonguedidn’t

wanttowork.“Thatwasamazing.”Hissmilewaspart

arrogance,likehealreadyknewexactlyhowawesomethatwas,buttherewassomethingboyishaboutthecurveofhislips.Hestretched

outbesideme,keepingmeclose.Heloweredhishead,kissingmesoftly,andIwasbonelessandweakinhisarms.Hismouthwashotagainst

mydampbrow.“Iwantaneternityofmorningslikethis.”Hedroppedakissnexttomyear.“Aneternity.”Achillblewthroughmeas

myeyespoppedopen.Thehappyglowdulledandthe

hazescattered.Isuddenlyrealizedsomethingveryimportant,somethingthatneitherofushadeventhoughtofatthispoint.Rothwouldnevergrowanyolder.Foraslongashewalkedthisearth,hewouldlookashedidtoday,whileIwouldageanddielikeanyothermortalouttherethankstomyWardenblood.Rothhadaneternity.

Ididn’t.

eight

THECHILLED,UNSETTLEDfeelingfollowedmetherestofthemorningandIhatedthat,becauseRothandIwerefinallyonthesamepageforthefirsttime,andwhatwehaddone—whathehaddone—wasfranklyamazingandbeautiful,andyes,Iwould

wantaneternityofmorningslikethat.NowIfelthaunted,asiftherewasashadowloomingoverus,turninginfinitetimeintominutesorseconds.Whichwasstupid,becauseIrecognizedthatIhadalong,longtimebeforeIneededtoworryabouttheawkwardnessofahotguyspendingtimewithmewhenIwaswellintomygoldenyears.

ButIkeptpicturingRothlookingasfineandfreshashedidthismorningwhileherolledoutofbedandcastaknowinggrininmydirection.Inmyhead,Ididn’tlooklikeIdidrightnow.Instead,Ihadgrayhair,afacethatrivaledoneofthosedogswhohadwrinkledskinandahunched-overback.Andinsteadofdoingwhatwedidthismorning,we’dspendtime

playingbingo.Ikindoflikedbingo,

though.Anyway,thewholething

wentwellbeyonduncomfortable.Thereweremorepressing

issuesweneededtoaddressnow,whichwaswhyweweregatheredinthekitchenwithCaymanandanotherdemonI’dnevermetbeforebutwhowentbythenameEdward.I

seriouslydoubtedthatwastheblond’srealname,becausethenameEdwardreallydidn’tstrikefearintheheartofanyone.Caymanwassittingonthe

counternearthesink,swinginghisfeetlikehewasattheplayground.Iwasattheisland,havingeatenmyweightinsausage,andRothwasstandingnexttome.Whenwe’dwalkedintothe

kitchentogether,I’dhalfexpectedCaymantowhipoutacameraandstarttakingpicturesofus.Hisexpressionhadbeendownrightgleeful.IwasdoingmybestnottolookatRothinthatmoment,becausewhenIdid,Ithoughtaboutwhathedidthismorningandwhatwehadn’tdone,andthenIwentallred-faced.Thingsmight’veprogressedfurtherifRoth

hadn’tsensedtheotherdemon’spresence,forcingustoleavethebedroomtoinvestigate.EdwardstoodbyCayman

andhiseyescarriedanoddlightthatwasreflectedwhenhetiltedhisheadacertainway.Hedefinitelywasn’tanUpperLeveldemon,andIthoughthemightbeaFiend.“So,what’sonthemenu

today,kids?”Caymanasked.

Roth’sslowgrinsentfireacrossmycheeksashecastalongglanceinmydirection.Heopenedhismouth,butthelookIsenthimpromisedmurderifheansweredthatquestionthewayIthoughthemight.Hechuckledashepropped

hishipagainstthecounter.“Ifigureweneedtohitthecity,startsearchingoutareasthatwethinktheLilinmightbe

holedupin.TheWardensaredoingthesame,butIdoubtthey’regoingtobesuccessful.”“TheLilinwillsensethem

comingamileaway,”Edwardagreed.“Whilewesortofblendinwiththedemonmasses,atleastuntilwegetachancetogetclose.”Ifoldedmyarmsacross

mybelly,whereBambiwascurrentlyresidingafter

makingherwaytherewhenweleftthebedroom.IthoughtabouthowtheUpperLeveldemonreactedtomeyesterday,thenpushedthememoryaside.“DoyouthinkthewitchesthatworshipLilithwouldbeharboringtheLilin?”Caymanshookhishead.“I

don’tthinkso.They’reobsessedwithyourmother,buttheyknowhowriskyit

wouldbetogivesomethingasevilastheLilinshelter.”Normally,havingLilith

referredtoasmymotherwouldsendmeintoanepictizzyofunheard-ofproportions,butnowitwasjust...well,itwasjustthetruth.Lilithwasmymom,whetherIwantedhertobeornot.“Butwouldanydemongiveitshelteratthispoint?”Iasked.

“Notasmartone.”Rothshifted,placingahandonmylowerback.ThoughIworeasweater,oneofthehorriblyskintightonesCaymanhadpickedupfromacornersomewherenodoubt,theweightofhishandstillsearedmyskin.“TheywouldhavetoknowthatnotonlywilltheWardensbegunningfortheLilin,sowilltheBoss,andbyextension,sowillI,andthey

reallydon’twanttogetonmybadside.”“Aren’tyouonebad

mamajama—”Edwardleanedbackagainstthecounterandhiselbowbrushedthecoffeemaker.Ijerkedonthestoolwhenthemachinesuddenlysparked,thesmellofburntozonefillingthekitchenasheglancedoverhisshoulder.Thepotcrackedstraightdownthemiddleas

Edwardfacedus.“Uh,sorryaboutthat.”Yep.Mostdefinitelya

Fiend.Rothscowled.“You’re

goingtohavethatreplacedbytomorrowmorning.”Thedemongrimaced.

“Yes,sir.”Sir?Loweringmygazeto

thecountertop,Ipressedmylipstogethertostopfromgrinning.

“NoneoftheFiendswillhelptheLilin.Icanassureyouofthat,”Edwardcontinued,shakingoffhisembarrassment,andIwonderedifhewassomesortofspokespersonforhiskind.TherewasstillsomuchI

didn’tknowaboutthedemonpopulation,andthatmademesquirminmyseat.Ihadtaggedsomanyoftheminthepast,sentencingthem

backtoHell,andIfiguredthattheBossdidn’tappreciatefailureofanykind.DidtheBosspunishFiendsliketheoneintheroomwithus,whoseonlycrimeappearedtobemassacringappliances?Guiltchurned.Exhalingsoftly,Iglanced

upasIscoopedmyhairupandstartedtwistingitfornoreasonotherthantohavesomethingtodowithmy

hands.“Well,thisisabigcity.Wecan’tjuststartroamingaroundaimlessly.”“Damn,”murmured

Cayman.Hewinked.“Iwaslookingforwardtothat.”Irolledmyeyes.“Whatwe

needtodoisstarttrackinganysuspiciousdeaths—otherwisehealthypeopledroppingdead.IdoubttheLilinisjustgoingtositaroundanddonothing.Ifit

startspullingsouls,thebodieshavetopileup.”“Goodidea,”Edwardsaid.“That’smygirl.”Roth

placedhisfingersundermychin,tippingmyheadbackandtotheside.Hislipswereonmineinananosecond,andatfirst,Istiffened.Iwasn’tusedtobeingkissedinfrontofothers.Iwasn’tallthatusedtobeingkissed,period.Ourrelationshipwassonew,

lessthantwenty-fourhours,buthiskisseshadthisabilitytomeltreservationsandconcerns.Isoftened,andtheroomfellaway.Hekissedmeliketherewasnooneelsearoundus,butweweren’talone.Someoneclearedhis

throat,andthenCaymangroaned,“Really,guys?”MyfacewasburningasI

pulledaway,butRothwas

unfazed.“What?”heasked.“WhileI’mgladyouguys

havedecidedtobecomethetwosomeoftheyear,Ireallydon’twanttoseeyousuckingface,”Caymancommented.Iwasn’tsureIbelievedhimsincehewasallTeamRoth.“Itdoesthingstomyindigestion.Badthings.”“Idon’tmind,”Edward

said.Myeyeswidened.Okay.

Thatwasweirdand...andgross.Rothstraightened,but

droppedhisarmaroundmyshoulders.“Cayman,youcankeepaneyeoutonthemorguesandhospitals,andEddie-boy,keepyoureyesontheclubsthroughoutthecity.Justdon’ttouchanything.”TheFiendactuallylooked

sheepishashenodded.“Whatarewegoingto

do?”Iasked,andwhenRoth’seyesdeepened,Iknewwhatdirectionhewasheadingin.Reachingup,Iplacedmyhandonhismouth.“Don’t.”Henippedatmyfingers

andgrinnedwhenIpulledmyhandaway.“There’sacoupleofplacesweshouldcheckout.”Weallstartedtopartways

atthatpoint,anditfeltgood

tobedoingsomethingotherthansittingaround.IheadedintothelivingroomtograbahairtieI’dleftontheendtable.Pickingitup,IturnedaroundtofindCaymanstandingafootaway.“YoustillwanttoseeGrim

nextweek,Layla-Low-Bottom-Butts?”heasked.Istaredathimamoment,

lettingthatnicknamesinkin,andthenIglancedatthe

doorway.“Yes,butIhaven’tsaidanythingtoRothyet.”“Iwouldn’t,becausehe’s

notgoingtobedownwithit.”Hekepthisvoicelowwhilehespokefast.“Remember,sweetpea.ItoldyouthattheBossisn’tentirelypleasedwithhim.Hegoesdownthere,they’regoingtokeephimdetained.Youdon’twantthat.”MystomachhollowedasI

steppedclosertoCayman.“CantheBossjustcomeupandgethimifhewantsto?”Hetiltedhisheadtothe

side.“Yes,butit’sdoubtfulrightnow.Later?Whoknows?IcandistractRothnextFridayandgiveyoutimetogetdownthere,butonceyou’rethere,you’regoingtohavetohurry.”“Hurry?Incaseyou’ve

forgotten,I’veneverbeento

HellsoIhavenoideawhatthelandscapeislike,”Ipointedout,tryingnottofreakoutoverthefactthatIwasgoingtogotoHell.Literally.“Needalittlebitofdirectionhere.”Caymangrinned.“It’s

easierthanyouthink.Trustme,butterball.You’llknowexactlywheretogoonceyougetthere.”Thenhewinked.“Bytheway,I’mproudof

you.Youmadetherightdecisionyesterday,choosingthefuture—choosingRoth.”Iopenedmymouth,buthe

wasgonebeforeIcouldsayaword.Turningslowly,Ilookedaroundthenow-emptyroom.“Ihateitwhenhedoesthat.”“What?”Jumpingatthesoundof

Roth’svoice,Icouldn’tsayIwasthatsurprisedtofindhim

standingafootbehindme.“That!Youguysjustpoppinginandoutofrooms.It’sfreakyandunnatural.”“You’rejustjealous

becauseyoucan’tdothat.”Irolledmyeyes,buthe

waskindofright.Iwassortofjealousofnothavingthatniftyability.IfIdid,Iwouldbepoppinghere,thereandeverywhere.Bambichosethatmomenttoswitch

positions.Sheslitheredaroundmywaist,restingherheadalongmyribs.I’dalsopopherbuttonthecouchwhenshegotantsy.“WhatwasCaymandoing

inhere?”Rothpickedupastrandofmyhairandstartedropingthelengtharoundhisfinger.TheideaoflyingtoRoth,

especiallyaftereverything,mademefeellikeI’djust

bathedingrime,butIknewifItoldhimwhatIplannedtodoaboutSam’ssoul,hewouldn’tletmegodowntherealone,andmaybenotatall.Icouldn’tallowhimtostopme.AndthiswasmorethanjustprotectingRothfromanunhappyBoss.SavingSam’ssoulwasbiggerthanwhateitherofuswanted.“Hewasjustbeing

Cayman,”Isaidfinally.

Rothtuggedonthestrandofhairhe’dwrappedaroundhisfinger,guidingmeclosertohim.“That’saloadedstatement.”Hiseyesmetmine,andmyheartspedup.Leaningdown,herestedhisforeheadagainstmine.“Guesswhat?”“What?”“Ifyoubehaveyourself

today,Ihaveasurpriseforyoulater.”

Mylipscurvedup.“IfIbehavemyself?”“Uh-huh.”Hekissedmy

browashestraightened,lettinggoofmyhair.“Andbybehavingyourself,Imeanbeingasnaughtyasyoucanpossiblybe.”Laughing,Igatheredup

myhair,twistingitintoaquickbun.“I’mnotsureIcanbethatnaughtyifwe’reinpublic,lookingfortheLilin.”

“There’salwaystimefornaughtiness,Shortie.”“I’mnotsurprisedthatyou

believethis.”Heshotmealook.“When

haveanyofmybeliefsbeenwrong?”Iarchedabrow.“Many,

manytimes.”“Ithinkyouhavea

distortedmemory,”hereturned,andIlaughedagain,missingthis—theplayful

banter—andIwasrelievedtoseethatithadn’tbeentarnishedbyeverythingithadtakenustogettothispoint.“Keeptellingyourself

that.”Ismiledwhenhepouted.“Beforeanysurprises,IwanttoswingbyandseeStacey.”“Cando.”Heliftedhis

hand,brushinghisknucklesacrossmycheek,anditwasanotherthingaboutRoththat

hadneverchanged,notevenwhenwewereapart.Hewasdefinitelyatouchy-feelykindofdemon.“Youwanttovisitheralone?”Histhoughtfulnessdidn’t

reallysurprisemeanymore.Notthatitdidn’tstillwowme,becauseitdid,andmyheartwasdoingthatswellingthingagain,butIcouldn’tfigureouthowhedidn’tseehisowngoodness.Istretched

upandkissedthecornerofhislipsbeforesettlingbackdown.“Ithinkshe’llbehappytoseeyou.”“Ofcourseshewillbe,”he

murmured,hisgazelingeringonmylips.IshiveredeventhoughIwasn’tcold.Nope.Notatall.“Everyoneishappytoseeme.”Ishookmyhead.“You

ready?”Whenhenodded,Ismiledupathim.“Areyou

goingtotellmewherewe’regoing?”“Iwould,butthatwould

ruinthefun.”Hechuckledasmysmileslippedintoafrown.“Okay.Wearen’tgoinganywhere.Well,anywhereinparticular.Wearegoingtoroamthestreetsaimlessly.”“Wow.That’sastellar

plan.”Hebitdownonhislower

lipashegrinned.“Actually,it’sprettydamnclever.”“That’syettobeseen.”Rothgrabbedmyhandand

startedtoleadmetowardthefrontdoor.“Here’sthedeal.Idon’tthinkwe’regoingtohavetolooktoohardfortheLilin.Actually,Idon’tthinkyouaregoingtohavetoseektheLilinout.”“Andwhy’sthat?”Helookedoverhis

shoulderatme,allhumorvanishingfromhisface.“BecauseIbelievetheLilinisgoingtocomelookingforyou.”

nine

NOTHINGLIKEHEARINGapsychoticdemonthatyou’dunwillinglyhelpedcreatewouldbelookingforyoutomakeyoufeellikeyouneededtoenterthecreeperrelocationprogram.ButIhopedRothwas

correct,becauseitwouldmakefindingthetooleasier.

Sinceitwastheafternoon,wedroveintothecityandparkedthecarinoneoftheparkinggarages.Wedidn’thavegreatluckwhenitcametothoseparticularstructures,buthittingtheskywasoutofthequestioninthedaylight.Whilethecity’shumanresidentswerealltooawareoftheWardensandRothwassimilarenoughtotheminhistrueform,ifahumanlooked

toocloselyathim,questionswouldarisethatweweren’tpreparedtoanswer.RothglancedatmeasI

openedthedoor.“Youdidn’tbringajacket?”Ishookmyhead.Heclosedthedriver’s

door.“Ascarf?”“No.”“Whataboutmittens?”Mylipstwitched.“Nope.”HeeyedmeasIwalked

aroundthefrontofthecar.“Whataboutalittlebeanieforyourlittlehead?”Ilaughed.“No,Dad.I’m

fine.”Hiseyesglittered.“Ilikeit

whenyoucallme—”“Stop.”Hetiltedhisheadtothe

side.“Onaseriousnote,it’scoldoutthere,Shortie.”ThatmuchIalreadyknew.

Rothwaswearingonlya

long-sleevedshirtandjeans,becauselikefull-bloodedWardens,hisinternaltemperaturewassomewherebetweensteamingandboiling.OnewouldthinkbecauseIwasamixtureofboth,Iwouldalsohaveahightoleranceforthecold,butIneverdid.Untilnow,Iguessed.It

couldn’tbemorethanfortydegrees.“I’mnotcold.”

Astrangelookcrossedhisfeaturesashewatchedmeintently.“Odd.”Therewereodderthings

aboutme,say,forexample,myfeatheredwings.Therewasn’tadamnthingnormalaboutthat,andasRothandIsafelymadeitoutoftheparkinggarageonFStreet,Ibroughtthemup.“So...”Idrewthewordout

asIsteppedaroundaherdof

youngkidsinuniformsandsoft,whiteaurasbeingusheredtowardabusidlingatthecurb.Thepackedsidewalkwasanarrayofcolorsandmyattentionwasimmediatelydrawntothosewithdarkershades,thecrimsonredsandplums.Mostweresuits,clutchingbriefcases.Theyhadsinned,andsinnedinaverybadway.Mystomachtightenedwith

need,buttheurgewasnowherenearasintenseasitusedtobe,andthatalsoconfoundedme.Rothtookmyhand,

threadinghisfingersthroughmine.Myheartgotallgiddy.IrememberedatimewhenIwould’veyankedmyhandawayfromhissofasthisheadwould’vespun.“What?”heasked.Iwasdistractedbythefact

wewerelegitholdinghands,walkingdownthecrowdedsidewalklikea...likearealcouple,anormalcouple.Airhitchedinmythroat.Thiswasthefirsttimewewereholdinghandsasacouple,andeventhoughwehadn’tcalledeachotherboyfriendorgirlfriend,weweresothat.Agoofy,stupidgrintugged

atmylipsandasmygazedancedoverthepeople

rushingtogetwherevertheyweregoing,Istoppedfightingit.Ismiledsowidelytherewasagoodchancemyfacewouldsplitrightupthemiddle.Inthatsecond,Ididn’t

thinkabouttheuglinesswithZayneortheLilinormyfeatheredwingsorthethousandothertroubleswaitingtopounceonus.Thathappinessinthepitofmy

bellyspreadrapidly,likealeveebreaking,thewarmthwhooshingthroughme.Mystepssuddenlyfeltlighter,andIwantedtostopinthemiddleofthesidewalk,grabRoth’sfaceandplantoneonhim.HowmanytimeshadIwantedhimtodothatbefore?EvenwhenI’dbeenpushinghimaway,I’dwantedhim.Nowhewasmine.“Layla?”Rothsqueezed

myhand.“Whatareyousmilingabout?NotthatI’mcomplaining.That’safreakingbeautifulsmile,anditmakesme—”IdidwhatIwantedtodo.Stoppinginthemiddleof

thesidewalk,Iignoredtheharshglancescastinourdirection,andnoonesaidathingtousafterreceivingonelookfromRoth.Istretchedonthetipsofmytoes.With

myfreehandwrappedaroundthenapeofhisneck,Iguidedhisheaddown.Surpriseflickeredacrosshisface,andthenIclosedmyeyes,pressingmymouthtohis.Thekisswasbrief,butwhenIpulledaway,hisexpressionmademyday.Hestareddownatme,his

eyeswideandthepupilsslightlydilated.Hislipswerepartedandthatboltinhis

tongueglittered.Thetopsofhischeekboneswereflushed.Helooked...Helookedgobsmacked.“What...whatwasthat

for?”Mysmilereallywasgoing

tobreakmyface.“Justbecause...well,thereweresomanytimesthatIsecretlywishedyou’ddonethatinthepast,andIthought,whycan’tI?”

Hisgazesearchedmyface.“Ijustwantyoutoknowthatwheneveryoufeeltheneedtodothat,youdoit.Idon’tcarewhatwe’redoing,I’malwaysgoingtobedownforthat.Always.”Itwasmyturntoflush,but

Ifocusedontheimportantstuffaswestartedwalkingagain.KnowingnoonewouldpayattentiontowhatIsaid,becausetheyheardway

strangerstuffonthestreetsofDC,Iforgedforward.“So,whatdoyouthinkaboutmyfeatheredwings?”Hegaveachokedlaugh.“I

likethewayyousayfeathered.”Imadeaface.“Ithinkthey’rekindof

hot,”headded.Irolledmyeyesaswe

stoppedatanintersection.“Ofcourseyoudo,butthat

reallydoesn’ttellmemuch.Imean,that’snotnormal,right?IknowZaynehasseenthembefore,andsohaveyou,buthesaidhe’donlyseenthemonce,onanUpper.Andwhynow?WhywouldIlookdifferentnowafterallthistime?”Athoughtfullookcrossed

hisfaceaswewaitedforthelighttoturn.“Well,youonlystartedshiftingrecently.

Maybethiswashowyouweresupposedtolook.”“Doubtful,”Imuttered,and

asthelittlegreenmanlituponthesign,Istartedforward.“Yeah,Iwasjusttryingto

beoptimistic.”Rothslowedhislong-leggedpaceashescannedthecrowdsaroundus.Ahornblew,followedbyanother,andthescentofroastedmeatwasstrongaswepassedayummy-looking

restaurant.“Look,I’veseenwingslikethatbefore,butitdoesn’tmakesense.”“Whydoesn’t—?”Icut

myselfoffasIcaughtaglimpseofbrilliantwhitereflectingoffthewindowedfrontofanofficebuilding.Istopped,myheartspeedingupasIsearchedforitssource.Rothimmediatelysensed

thechange.“What?”

“Iseeanall-whiteaura,”Iexplained,walkingagainasIstrainedtocatchsightofitthroughthedizzyingshadespassingus.“Itwasdazzling,waytoobrighttobeahuman.”“AWarden?”Inodded.Ithadtobea

Warden,unlessitwasanAlpha.ThoughIdoubtedthelatterwouldberoamingthestreets.AsfarasIknew,they

lookedthewaytheydidallthetime,andtherewasnohidingthosewings.Roth’shandtightened

aroundmine,andageneralsenseofalarmtookrootinmystomach.ItcouldbeanyWarden,butifI’dcaughtsightoftheiraura,theycould’vesensedRothandmeinturn.IfitwasNicolaiorDezoutthere,Ithoughtthey’dapproach.Maybenot

Zayneatthispoint,andthatkilledmetoevenacknowledge.Wewalkedanotherblock,

silentandonalert.Justaswewereseveralfeetfromanalley,Ifelttheawareness.TheWardenwasnearby.Roth’schindippeddown.

“Youfeelthat?”Inodded,andaswe

crossedthemouthofthealley,Icaughtsightof

brilliantwhiteagain,andmyheadswungsharplytotheright.Allthewaytowardthebackofthealley,therewasahugesourceofpearlygoodness.TheaurafadedandIcaughtaglimpseofwhatexistedbeyondtheglow.Iceshotdownmyspineas

Isuckedinasharpbreath.Evenfromacrossthedistance,Irecognizedthatface.Whowouldn’t?The

jaggedscarthatslicedfromthecornerofhiseyetohislipswasunmistakable.ItwasElijah.Myfather.Inthebackofmyhead,it

registeredsomewhatdimlyhowmisleadingthatwhiteaurawas.Hehadwantedmedeadmywholelife,hisowndaughter.ButWardenshadpuresouls,nomatterwhatsinsstainedthem.

SlippingmyhandfreefromRoth’s,Ididn’tthinkasIshotdownthealley,racingtowardthebackwhereI’dseenhim.Ididn’tknowwhyIwasevenchasingafterhim.Ihadn’tseenhimsincehe’dorderedhisson,myhalfbrother,totakemeout.WhenPetrhadvanished,Elijahhaddisappeared,andbackthen,I’dbeenundertheprotectionofmyclan.Notsomuch

anymore.ButIdidn’tneedtheir

protectionnow.Rightnownoneofus

neededElijahskulkingaroundthecity.Wehadenoughproblems,andifhewasheretomesswithme,whichhehadtobe,I’dratherdealwithhimnowinsteadoflookingovermyshoulder,waitingforhimtostrike.“Dammit,”IheardRoth

growljustbeforehetookoffafterme.IwasfastwhenIwantedto

be,butasIroundedthebackofthealley,mytargetwasn’tthere.Myheadjerkedup.Elijahwasscalingthefireescapeatarapidclip,thedarktrenchcoatheworewhippingoutbehindhim.“Thiscouldbeatrap,”

Rothreasonedashecaughtuptome,staringuptoward

therooftop.Hewasn’ttellingmeanythingIdidn’talreadyknow.“Layla,weneedtothinkaboutthis.”“Wedon’tneedtodeal

withhimhauntingus.It’sbadenoughthathissonhasbeendoingsoasawraith.”Iturnedtohim.“That’sthelastthinganyofusneedtobeworriedabout.”“Shortie...”Imethisstarefora

momentandthenIspunaround.Runningtothefireescape,Ijumpedandcaughttherail.Mybodyswungtothesideandthenback.Myfeethittheladder.“Okay,”Rothcalledout

frombehindme.“You’recrazy,butthatwasalsocrazyhot.”Hegruntedashelandedontheladderbehindme.“JustthoughtI’dsharethatwithyou.”

Iflewuptheladder,determined.Ittookonlysecondstoclimbwhathadtobeatleasttenstories,andinthebackofmymind,Iwonderedhowthatwaspossible.I’dalwaysbeenfasterandstrongerthanahuman,butnotlikethis.Nowjustwasn’tthetimetoreallydelveintowhy.Reachingthetopofthe

ladder,Ipropelledmyself

overtheledge,landinginacrouch.MyeyeswidenedasItookinthescenebeforemeandmystomachdroppedalittle.Ah,Rothmight’vebeen

right.Helandedbesideme,

cursingunderhisbreathaswebothrose.StandingattheotherendoftherooftopwasElijah.Hewasn’talone.ThreeWardenswerewith

him.Irecognizedthemfromwhenhisclanhadvisitedthecompound.Windwhippedacrossthe

roof,blowingElijah’sjacketoutaroundhimashiscoldgazecenteredonme.Anugly,hatefulemotionrosewithinme,spreadingthroughmyveinslikebatteryacid.“Hello,Dad.”Surpriseetchedintohis

harshfeatures.Itwasbrief,

gonewhenhislipscurvedintoasneer,distortingtheraggedscar.“Donotcallmethat.”“Why?”IaskedasRoth

movedclosertome,butIwasfocusedonthisbeingwhowassupposedtoloveme.Wasn’tthatwhatmothersandfathersdid,likeinnately?Whywereminetheexceptiontotherule?“You’remyfather.”

OneoftheotherWardens,atall,dark-hairedman,glancedatElijahquestioningly.Didtheynotknow?Ahorriblesmilepulledatmylipsanditwaswithoutanywarmth.Instead,itwasfullofscornandseventeenyearsofwondering.“Yeah,maybeyourememberhowyouhookedupwithLilith—theLilith—”

“Shutup,”hehissed,hishandsformingmeatyfists.Alowgrumbleofwarning

rumbledfromRothasablastofheatrolledoffhim,butmysmile,itspread.“Andthetwoofyouproducedlittleoldme.What?Youdidn’tthinkIknew?”TwooftheWardens

behindhimexchangeduncertainlooks.“What?”Irepeated.“Theydidn’t

know?”“Thatdoesn’tmatter.”His

nosebegantoflattenandhisjawlengthened,extendingtomakeroomforthemassivefangsthatcouldcuteffortlesslythroughsteelandmarble.“Itdoesn’t?”IknewIwas

pushinghim.Hisfurywasatangiblethirdpartyonthisrooftop.Icouldpracticallyreachoutandtouchit,butI

wastoofocusedonmyownangertobeafraid.Afterallthistime,Iwasfinallyabletoconfronthim.Itwaslikeasecretfantasyofminewasfinallycomingtrue.“YouboinkedLilith.”“Boinked?”Rothchuckled

underhisbreathandthensaid,“God,Iloveyou.”Elijahjumpedonthat

comment.“Love?Fromademon?Areyouserious?”

“Don’t,”Iwarned,feelingthespacebelowmyneckstarttotingle.“Don’ttrytoactlikeyouknowanythingaboutlove.You’renobetterthanme,andyou’resureasHellnobetterthanhim.He’sathousandtimesbetterthanyoucouldeverhopetobe.”Elijahsnorted.“Him?A

demon?Youare—”“He’stheCrownPrince,”I

snapped,myhandscurling

tight.“Notjustademon.ButevenifhewasmerelyaFiend,he’dstillbetoogoodforthelikesofyou.”“That’smygirl,”Roth

murmured.“Whyareyouhere?”I

demanded,fueledbyanangerthatburnedsodeepandsobright,itwaslikeitwasmyownpersonalsun.“Wait,letmeguess.Youwanttokillme?”

“Iwastrackingyou.Iknewthateventuallyyou’dresurface.”Hisskinstartedtodarken.“AndIshould’vetakencareofthiswhenyouwerenothingbutababe.Ishould’veknownthemomentthatbitchleftyouwithmethatyouweren’tright.You’dbejustlikethewhore—”“Proceedverycarefully

withwhatyou’reabouttosay,”Rothadvisedsoftly.

“That’smygirlyou’reabouttoinsult,andI’mnotgoingtobehappyaboutthat.Atall.”“Whatever.”Iforceda

shrug.Yeah,whatElijahhadsaidstung,butIwassoovermydaddyissues.“Samestuff.Differentday.Trysomethingnewnexttime.”Thedark-hairedWarden

behindElijahbaredhisfangs,butElijahcuthimoff.“IcannotsayI’msurprised

tofindyouwithademon.”Rothsteppedforward,

positioninghimselfbetweenElijahandme.“IcannotsayI’msurprisedtofindyou’rejustasuglyasyourson.Oh,wait.Deadson.Mybad.”Elijah’schilledgazeswung

inhisdirection.“Donotspeakofmyson.”“Iwon’tspeakofhim,only

becausehe’sworsethanthescumthatlinesthestreets

below,”Rothsaid,hisvoiceeerilycalm.“ButdoyouwanttoknowwhatIdidwithhisspineafterItoreitfromhisbody?”Thatdidit.MostlybecauseafterI’d

takenPetr’ssoulinself-defense,RothhadremovedPetr’sspinefromhisbody,andIwasguessingElijahhadfiguredthatout.TheWardensshifted.

Clothingrippedasbodiesexpandedandskinhardened.Wingsspreadandclawsappeared.ThetrenchElijahworeshreddeduptheback.Hewasimpressiveinhistrueform.Hornspartedhisdarkhair.“I’mgoingtoendbothof

you,”hepromised.“Please,”laughedRoth.ThenRothwentallkinds

ofbadass.Hedidn’tshift.He

didn’tneedtoatthispoint,becausehedidn’tfeelthattheywereabigenoughthreattowarrantit.Thedark-hairedWarden

rushedforwardandRothdroppedlow,kickingoutandcatchingtheWardenatthekneecaps,knockinghislegsrightoutfromunderhim.Hisheavyweightshooktheroof,buthewasonlydownforhalfasecond.Backonhisfeet,he

swungatRoth,buthewasfastaslightning.RothduckedundertheWarden’soutstretchedarmandpoppedupbehindhim.HeplantedhisbootedfootintothebackoftheWarden,bringinghimtohisknees.OvertheWarden’shead,

Rothlookedupandwinkedatme.Winkedatmeinthe

middleofafight.

Wow.TheothertwoWardens

chargedRoth,andmyheartseizedasonenearlyreachedhim.Hespun.Redlightpulsedfromhispalm.Likehisfingersweremadeofgasoline,firelickedoverhishandandthenshotoutlikeamissile,narrowlymissingtheWarden.Elijahstartedtowardme.“Bambi!”Isummonedthe

familiar.“HelpRoth.”Therewasatickleabove

mybellybuttonandthenfromunderthehemofmysweater,atwisty,darkshadowfloatedoutandspilledintothespaceinfrontofme.Theshadowbrokeintoamillionmarble-sizeballs,bouncingsilentlyofftherooftop.Theyshottowardoneanother,piecingtogetherrapidly.

Bambiraisedherdiamond-shapedhead,herredeyesglimmeringinthesunlight.Hermouthopened,revealingfangsthesizeofmyhand.Shelookedhungry.Thenagain,Bambialways

lookedhungry.Thesnakeshotacrossthe

rooftop,headingrightforalighter-hairedWarden.RothwhirledoutofthewayasBambistruck,nailingthe

Wardeninthethroat.Therewasahigh-pitchedyelpingsound.Roth’slowlaughsent

chillsovermyskinashemovedtowardthethirdWarden,toyingwithhim,clearlyenjoyinghimself.Hewassortofbeautifultowatch,thegraceinthewayhemoved,almostlikeadancerperformingonstage.“Youdefileyourbodywith

familiarsnow?”Elijah’svoicewasladenwithdisgust.“Really?DoIneedto

repeatmyself?YouhookedupwithLilith!”Elijahsnarled.“AndI

regretgivingyoucreationwitheverysinglebreathItake.JustasI’msureAbbothasregrettedsavingyourlife.”Ouch.That—Okay,that

cutdeeperthanIthought,and

Iflinched,becausethewoundwassoraw.Butthatpaingavewaytosomethingred-hotinme.Musclesinmystomachandlegstightened,andIlettheshiftcomeoverme.ItwasonlikeDonkey

Kong.Coolairhitmybackasmy

shirttoreatthecollar.Mywingsunfurled,arcingbehindmeasIfeltmyskinhardenas

ifitwasicingover.Elijahimmediatelydrew

upshort,hismouthdroppingopen.“Whatthe...?”“Yeah.Mywingsare

featherednow.It’sweird.Iknow.”Heshookhisheadashe

tookastepbackfromme—literallybackedaway.Insteadofgawkingoverthat,Iusedittomyadvantage.Relyingonalltheoffensivetechniques

thatZaynehadshowedmeovertheyears,Iharnessedthepowerinmylegsandmycore.Ispunaround,fasterthanIhadevermovedbefore,andkickedoutandup,catchingElijahinthechest.Theblowstaggeredhim,

butthatwasasmallvictory.Throwingapunchthatwouldmakeaboxerproud,IcoldcockedElijahinthejaw,snappinghisheadback.Pain

burstacrossmyhand,butIignoreditasIlookedup,meetingRoth’sgaze.“Damn,”hesaid,not

takinghiseyesoffmeashishandsnappedout,catchingtheWardenbythethroat.Prideandsomethingfardeeperchurnedinthosetawnydepths.“StillhotasHell.”Iflashedaquickgrininhis

directionbeforeIturnedback

toElijahjustintimetomisstheclawedhandthatwasaimingformyface.“Youcannotbe,”he

grunted,pupilsdilated.Ijumpedbackashe

reachedformeagain,buthecaughtmywinginhisgrip.Hetwistedhishand.Iheardanalmostdelicatecrack,andstartlingpainarcedacrossmywing,slammingintomyshoulderandpoweringdown

myspine.Unabletostopit,acry

punchedoutofme,butthatsparkofpainignitedafireinme.Istartedtobringmykneeup,butbeforeIcouldutter“jerkface,”Elijahslammedhispalmintomychest.Theblowknockedmeoff

myfeetandthroughtheairasifhe’dtossedme.Iflewback,overtheedgeoftheroofoverlookingthealley.

“Layla!”FearfilledRoth’sshout.AsIstartedtotoppleinto

nothingbutair,instinctcameoutofcruisecontrol.Thepaininmyleftwingknockedtheairoutofmylungs,butIpushedthroughit,grindingmyteethasIcaughtmyself.Themovementwasliketakingalightedmatchtomywing,butIdartedupseveralfeetabovetherooftop.

He’dbrokenmywing!Startled,Elijahshoutedas

hereachedintothetorncoatandpulledoutadagger,andIknewwithoutevengettingclosethatitwasiron—andifyouhadeventhetiniestamountofdemonblood,ironcouldbedeadly.Hecrouched,andthenshot

intotheair,andthatfireinmeburnedintoaninferno.Ishotacrosstherooftopas

Elijahraisedhishand,swingingthedaggertowardme.Idroppedtotheconcrete,andthedaggerswungovermyhead.Igrabbedholdofhislegs,myclawsdigginginasIyankeddownwithallmystrength.Elijahhadn’texpectedthat

move,andhewentdownasImadeapassathim,thetipsofmyclawsmissinghimbyaninch.Spinningaround,I

swungoutmyclawedhand.Ididn’tgrazehimthistime.Myclawshithimacrossthechest,diggingindeep,tearingopenthehardenedskin.Bloodspurtedandthensprayed.ShocksplashedacrossElijah’sfaceashestumbledback,towardtheroof’sedge,hishandspressingagainsthischest.Itwasn’tafatalblow,butashestaredatme,Isawmy

opening.Histhroatwasvulnerableandexposed.IfIcaughthimthere,hewouldn’trecover.Itookasteptowardhim,

mywingstwitchingasIraisedmyhandagain.Mymuscleswerestrungtightwithanticipation.Iwantedtobringhimtohisknees,endhim.Hewasmyfatherandhe’dtriedtohavemekilledmoretimesthanIprobably

evenknewof.Killinghimwouldbeunderstandable,justifiedeven,becauseifIdidn’t,hewassurelygoingtocomeaftermeagainandagain.Myeyeslockedwithhis

blueones,andallthatfury,andallthathurtswirledtogetherintoacycloneofmessy,dirtyemotions.AllthoseyearsoffeelinglikeIdidn’tbelong,thatIwascast

outandunwanted.TheshockofknowingthatmyownfleshandbloodwantedmedeadslammedintomejustashardasithadwhenI’dfirstlearnedthetruth,andI...Ifeltsadforhim.Icould’vebeenthelittle

girlthatlookeduptohim.Icould’vebeenagooddaughtertohim.Icould’vehadyearsgettingtoknowhim.Icould’velovedhim.

Buthehadmadethechoicetoneverhaveanyofthat.Intheend,hewasn’tworth

thelifetimeofguiltI’dshoulder.Loweringmyhand,Itook

astepbackfromElijahasIfeltaWardenhittherooftop,hardenoughtocrackthecement.EvenasIstartedtospeak,adarkblur—ashadow—appearedovertheledge,andthenshotacrossthe

rooftop.Beforeanyofuscould

moveorreact,Samwasthere,standinginbetweenElijahandme.NotSam,Irealizedwithafreshjoltofpain,buttheLilin.Itdidn’tstoptochatasitdartedtowardElijah.ThelastWardenstandingshouted,hiswordsgarbledbyhiscrackedfaceandhisyellcutshortasRothtookhimdown,knockinghimout.

TheLilinwasonElijahinananosecond,wrappingitshandaroundtheWarden’sthroatanddragginghimdownafoottoitslevel.Atfirst,Iwasjuststunnedintoimmobility.SeeingwhatlookedlikeSamcompletelyincapacitateaWardenwasbizarre.Myheadalmostcouldn’twraparoundthefactthatthiswasn’tscrawnySam,butasouped-upversionof

everyone’sworsenightmare.TheLilin’sshouldersrose

asitinhaleddeeply.HorrorswampedmeasIrealizeditwasfeedingonElijah.Hisaurablinkedlikealightgoingout,andthenitwasgone.Coldwindblastedintome,throwingaroundthestrandsofhairthathadcomelooseacrossmyfaceasIstaggeredtotheside,alreadyknowingitwastoolate.TheLilinwas

toofast,toodeadly.Ithadstrucklikeacobra,anditsvenomwasthedeadliest.Rothwassuddenlybehind

me,wrappinganarmaroundmywaist,holdingmeback,buttruthbetold,Iwasn’tmoving,becauseIknew—God,Iknew—itwasdone.Withinseconds,theLilin

releasedElijah.TheWarden’sbackwasunnaturallystiffashebackedintotheledge.I

expectedhimtotransformintosomethinghorrifyingatthatpoint,likePetrhadwhenIstrippedhissoulaway,butthatdidn’thappen.Elijah’sskinpinkedashe

slippedbackintohishumanformandhiswingsfoldedintohisback.Fangsandclawsreceded.Thewoundinhischest,thewoundI’dgivenhim,wasevengoriernow,andthescaralonghisface

stoodoutstarkly.Therewasnowraith.Therewasnothingleftof

Elijah’ssoul.Thoseblueeyesusually

filledwithsuchhateweredullandunfocusedasElijahfellbackward,overtheledge.Gone.Whippingaround,theLilin

facedus.Immediately,itbegantotransform,itsbodycontortedasitdoubledover

beforeitstraightened,throwingitsheadback.Thelengthofitstretched,andthenitexpanded,bulkingup.“OhmyGod,”Iwhispered

asanall-newawfulnesshitme.TheLilinwastakingon

Elijah’sform,justasithadSam’s.Itwasbecomingsomethingtotallydifferent,andwithinmeremoments,whatlookedlikeSamwasno

longerstandinginfrontofus.Instead,therewasanexact

replicaofElijah,downtothescarcuttingacrossthesideofhisface,righttothecornerofhislips.“You’rewelcome.”The

LilinevensoundedlikeElijah.Theonlythingmissingwashisaura.AshadbeenthecasewiththeSamdoppelgänger,therewasnothingaroundtheLilin.

TheLilinbentonpowerfullegsasitshookoutitsshoulders.Itsskinhardenedtograniteandmassivewingsappeared,spreadingoutfrombehindit.Onesideofitslipscurledupinasmirk,andthenitlaunchedintotheair,quicklydisappearingovertheriseoftheotherbuildings.Breathingheavily,Itugged

onRothandhisarmslippedawayfromme.Iwalked

towardtheedgeofthebuildingandpeereddown,allthewaydowntothestreetbelow.Acrowdofpeoplehadgathered.Somewerebackingaway,theirhandsflutteringtotheirmouths.Someonewhippedaroundanddoubledover.Isqueezedmyeyesshutas

mystomachtwisted.TherealElijahhadhitthesidewalkbelowanditwas...messy.

Throattight,Iturnedawayandforcedadeepbreath.“WehavetowarntheotherWardens.”

ten

FLURRIESFELLFROMthethickcloudsaboveandafinecoatingofsnowdustedtheroofsofthebuildings.Duskwasslowlyinvadingthecity,anddownbelow,streetlampswereflickeringon,alongwiththewhiteChristmaslightsthathadbeenstrungalongthetrees.

AsIstoodneartheledgeandstareddown,watchinghumanshurryalongorstoppingtohailacab,IthoughtifIcouldcapturethismomentwithacamera,itwouldalmostlookliketheperfectholidaygreetingcard.Therewassomething

calmingaboutthefactthatmillionsofpeopleweregoingabouttheirlives,completelyunawareoftheveryreal

darknessthreateningtheircity.Afterallthistime,Ifinallygotit—whytheAlphasdemandedthathumansremaincluelesswhenitcametotheexistenceofdemons.Ithadtodowithmorethanjustthedesireforfaithinahigherpower.Itwasalsoaboutprotection,allowingthehumanstolivetheirliveseveryday,becauseiftheydidknowthetruth,the

worldwouldbeirrevocablychanged,damagedbeyondmerelythecarelesswayhumanstreatedotherhumans.Warmthbeatbackthecold

asRothcametostandbehindme.Hewrappedhisarmaroundmywaistandrestedhischinatopmyhead.Therewasnostiffnessinhisembraceorinmyreactiontoit.Althoughthiswasallnewtobothofus,thisopenness

aboutourfeelings,therewasnoneofthatawkwardnessthatIimaginedmostcouplesfaced.Weweren’tonthesame

buildingasearlier.Nowwewerenearthefederaldistrict,waitingformembersofmyclan.Outofhabit,IhadtextedZayneashortmessage,tellinghimnottotrustElijah,thatiftheysawhim,itwasn’ttheWardentheyknew.

Minuteshadgonebybeforehe’dresponded,provingthathehadn’tbeenasleep,encasedinstone,likeheshould’vebeenatthattime.He’drequestedameeting,andsonowwewerewaiting.Nervesformedatangleinthepitofmystomach.IwasgoingtoseeZayneagain,andthatwasgoingtobetoughenough,butworsestill,IfiguredIwouldalsoseeother

clanmembers.MaybeevenAbbot,andIwasnothingbutaballofanxiousdread.Rothhadn’tbeentoo

thrilledaboutanyofthis,whichexplainedwhyBambiwasonceagaincurledaroundmywaistandCaymanwasalsohere,alongwithEdward.Theystoodonthecornersofthebuildingliketwosentries.Reallywell-dressed

sentries.

Bothwereindarktrousersandawhiteshirt,donningpolishedleathershoes.Ihadnoideawhy.Maybetheyhadleftballroomdancingclassesorsomething.IcouldtotallyseeCaymandoingthat.“How’syourback?”Roth

askedafterafewmoments.Ihadn’tmentionedthatmy

backachedfromwhereElijahhadgrippedmywing,butRothwascarefultoavoidthe

areaandnotirritatethedullpulse.“Itdoesn’thurtthatbad,butIthinkhemight’vebrokensomething.”Themusclesalonghisarm

bunched.“Whenwegethome,Iwanttocheckitoutifshiftingdoesn’thurtyoutoobadly.”Home.Homewaswith

Roth.ThatwassorightIdidn’tevenneedtoquestionit.Westoodinsilencefora

handfulofseconds,andthenIblurtedout,“Igetit.”Hishandflattenedalong

mystomach,justabovemynavelasheliftedhischin.Bambimovedonmyskin,stretchingoutandshiftingclosertohim.“Yougetwhat?”heaskedquietly.“WhytheAlphasdemand

thatthehumansdon’tknowthetruth,”Iexplained,restingmyheadbackagainsthis

chest.“Iusedtothinkthatitwassostupid.Howdidknowingthetruthreallyhurtanything?They’dknowtherereallywasaHeavenandHellandeverythinginbetween.Maybepeoplewouldactrightthen.”“Maybe,”hemurmured,

hisarmtighteningasheshiftedusslightly.“Butthat’sthething.

Peopleprobablywouldact

right,butonlybecausetheywouldn’tlive,notinthemoment.”Thewindpickedup,andIsmiledalittlewhenIrealizedthatRothhadmovedtoblockit.“Theywouldbepetrified.That’swhytheycan’tknow.Oratleastpartofthereason.”“Makessense,Iguess.It’s

hardformetounderstand,beingthatIcameintocreationknowing,well,

everything.”HechuckledwhenIrolledmyeyeseventhoughtherewasnowayhecould’veseenthat.“So,what?Youwanttoprotectthemnow?”IfrownedslightlyasI

stareddownatthecity.“I’vealwayswantedtoprotectthem.”Hischestroseagainstmy

back.“You’remorethanthat,Layla.Don’tyouwantalife

outsideoftaggingdemons?”“Idon’tknowaboutthat

anymore.Youknowthat.”Itwistedaroundandtiltedmyheadback,facinghim.Hewasstaringdown,hisheadcockedinthewayhedidwheneverhewastryingtounderstandsomekindofhumanemotionhejustcouldn’tgrasp.“AndIdowantmore.”“Likewhat?”he

challenged.“Whatdoyouwanttodowhenthisisover?”Whenwhatwasover?The

fightwiththeLilin?ReclaimingSam’ssoul?ThewarbetweentheWardensanddemons?Ihadnoideaiforwhenanyofthiswouldbeover,butIhadtohangontohopethatitwouldbe.Thatbothofuswouldstillbestanding,aswouldallthoseI

cherished.Icouldn’tallowmyselftoevenbrieflyconsidertheideathattherewouldn’tbeanafter.“Ithink...IthinkI’dliketo

gotocollege,”Itoldhim.“Well,thatmeansIhavetofinishhighschoolfirst.Thatmakessense.”Hislipstwitched.“That’s

yourbigplan?”Ithoughtbacktoallthose

applicationsIhadliningmy

oldbedroomfloorbackatthecompoundandInodded.“Yeah,andI...Iwanttotravelfirst.Iwanttoseeplacesoutsideofthiscity.”“Likewhere?”heasked,

raisinghishandandtracingthelineofmyjawwithhisfingers.“I’mstillbankingonHawaii.”Igrinned.“Thatwouldbe

nice.So,yeah,putthatonthelist.”

“Needotherplacestomakealist,Shortie.”“Okay.IwanttoseeNew

YorkCity—Dezsaysit’samazing.AndMiami.Iwanttowalkonabeach.”Gettingintoit,Istartedtickingoffplaces.“IwanttostrolltheFrenchQuarterinNewOrleans,andIwanttovisitGalveston—”“Galveston...Texas?

Why?”

“Readabookoncethattookplacethere.Itdoesn’tmatter.IwanttoseeDallas,likerealcowboysandstuff.”Helaughedashetuckeda

strandofmyhairback.“Realcowboysarekindofhardtofind.”“We’llfindthem.I’m

positive.AndthenIwanttoseetheHollywoodsignandmaybeevenPortland.Itrainstherealot,right?NotsureI’d

wanttostaytherelong,butIthinkI’dactuallyliketoseeMountRushmore—Oh,andCanada.Icankeepgoing,”Isaid.“ButIthinkthat’sagoodstart.”Hiseyeshadthathooded

qualitythatbroughtaflushtomycheeks.“That’sagreatlist.”“Whataboutyou?”Iasked.

“Whatdoyouwanttodowhenthisisallover?”

“Forreal?”WhenInodded,heloweredhishead,droppingaquickkissonthetipofmynose.“Ican’tbelieveyouevenhavetoaskthat.Iplantobewhereveryouare.”Mylipsimmediately

curvedintooneofthosebig,funny-lookingsmilesasmyheartswelledinmychestlikeanold-schoolcartooncharacter’s.Iwaswaitingfor

myeyestoturnintoexaggeratedheartsthatpoppedout.“Thatis...thatistheperfectanswer.”“That’sbecauseIam

perfect.”“Well,thatwasn’tthe

perfectanswer,”Isaiddrily.Cayman’swarningcutoff

Roth’sansweringlaugh.“They’recoming.”Weturnedtowherehe

gestured.Offinthedistance,

theylookedlikegreatbirdspartingtheclouds.Mystomachdroppedastheydippedlow,cominginforalanding.Zaynewasdefinitelythere;hewasinthemiddleofthebunch,andeveninhistrueform,Iknewthatitwashim.ThreeotherWardenswere

withhim,andastheynearedtherooftop,IrecognizedthemasNicolaiandDez.A

bitoftheunease,notallofit,lessened.DezwasfromtheNewYorkclanandhe’dfirstvisitedDCwithhismate,Jasmine.Whilehe’dbeenunsureofmeatfirst,he’dquicklyseemedtolikeme.Isupposeitwasbecausewewerebothoutsiders,inourway.Nicolaihadalwayshadasoftspotforme,andIforhim.Hewasn’tthatmucholderthanZaynewhenhe’d

losthismateandchild.Nicolairarelysmiled,butwhenhedid,hecouldtakeyourbreathaway.Thefourthmemberoftheir

crewshockedme.IthadtobeDanika.“Interesting,”Rothsaid,

unfoldinghisarmfromaroundme.Hedidn’tmoveaway,though.Interestingdidn’treally

sumitup.Wardensdidn’t

allowtheirfemalesoutmuch,preferringtokeepthemingildedcages.ItwasoneofthemanythingsI’dhatedaboutourkind.Granted,IunderstoodthattheWardenpopulationwasdwindlingandfemaleswereprimetargetsforUpperLeveldemons,butstill,theideaofbeingkeptsequesteredmademewanttopunchsomething.JustlikeIknewitdrove

Danikanuts.Danikawasalotwilder

andcrazierthanheroldersister,Jasmine,andI’dspentthebetterpartofmyformativeyearshatingonherfornootherreasonthanthefactthatshelikedZayneandwouldbeabletomonopolizeallhistimewithaflickofherglossyblackhair.CaymanandEdwarddidn’t

movefromtheirpercheswith

theexceptionoffacingthedirectiontheWardenswerecomingfrom.Thecrewoffourlandedontherooftop,theirimpactcrackinglikethunder.ThenCaymanglancedatRoth,whonodded.BothCaymanandEdwarddisappeared,asiftheywereneverthere,butIcouldstillfeelthem.Theywerenearby,monitoringthesituation,andifIcouldfeelthem,socould

theWardens.Zaynestrodeforward,his

chinbentlowandhiswingstuckedback.MystomachfloppedunsteadilyasmygazeswervedtoNicolaiandthentoDanika.Theywereblockingher,keepingherbehindthem.Somethingsheclearly

wasn’ttoothrilledabout.Chargingforward,she

brushedpastZayne,whocast

hisgazetothesky,amusclethrobbingalonghisjaw.SheshiftedintohumanformassheheadedstraightforwhereRothandIstood,hergrayskingivingwaytoflawlessalabaster.DezmutteredsomethingunderhisbreathwhileNicolaifollowedafterher,alookofconcernpullingatthecornersofhislips.Withoutlookingbackat

themales,shethrewherhand

upintheirdirectionandallshesaidwas,“Don’teventrytostopme.”Nicolaiskiddedtoastop,

hisbrowsraised.Istiffened,asdidRoth.Absolutelyfearless,Danika

stalkedrightuptousandbeforeIcouldblinkaneye,she’dthrownherarmsaroundmeandsqueezed.Afruityscent,likeapples,surroundedmeasBambislitheredonto

myback,awayfromher.Danikawasasstrongasalinebacker,andIswallowedasqueakasIwaspressedagainstherhardchest.Thedullacheflaredintoasharpthrobbingsensationoneithersideofmyspine,reinforcingmyparanoidbeliefthatElijahmighthavebrokenoneofmywings—oneofmyfeatheredwings.“Careful,”Rothadvised,

onlyloudenoughforustohear.“She’sbeenhurt.”“OhGod!I’msorry.”

Danikaimmediatelyreleasedme,andIwould’vestumbledbackifRothhadn’tbeentheretosteadyme.“Whathappened?What’s—”“I’mallright,”Iassured

her,caughtoffguardbyherwelcome.Istillwasn’tusedtoournewfriendship.SheglancedatRothwarily

anditwasobviousshedidn’t100percenttrusthim.Hesmiledbackather,tight-lippedanddaring.“I’vebeensoworried,”shecontinued,takingasmallstepbackassheranherhandsalongherdenim-cladhips.“WhenZaynesaidyou

reachedoutbecausesomethinghappenedandtheywerecomingtomeetyou,Ihadtocome.Ineededtosay

I’msorry.”“Danika,”Nicolaicalled

gently.“Sorryforwhat?”Iasked,

lookingtowardtheotherWardens.ZaynewasnoweyeballingRothlikehewantedtotosshimofftheroof.Dezdidn’tlookentirelysurprised,butNicolai—well,helookedlikehewantedtoscoopherupandflyoff,whichwas...Thatwasodd.

“Forwhattheydidtoyou,”shesaid,hercheeksflushingpink.“Thisclan.Itwasn’tright,andIwantedtokickAbbotintheballs.”“Apologiesaregivenout

fartoooftentomeananything,butIlikeyou,”murmuredRoth.“Ireallydo.”Hergazedartedfromhim

tome,andshethentookanotherstepbackwhile

Nicolaimovedincloser.“Anyway,itwaswrong.YouwouldneverpurposelyhurtZayneoranyoneelse.”Well,thethingwas,Ihad

hurtZayne,evenifnotphysically,andtherewasnomistakingthat.Ihadtobelievethatsheknew.WhenIglancedathimagain,hestillhadn’tlookedinmydirection.Feelingickyaboutthat,Irefocused.“Thankyou,

Danika,I...um,Iappreciatethat.”IturnedtoNicolaiandDez.“AndIoweyouguyseverything,too.ThankyouforfindingRothandhelpingmegetoutofthatwarehouse.Youallhelpedsavemylife.”Andthatwastrue.Becauseofthem,Iwas

standingtoday.InsteadofgoingalongwithAbbot,theyhadfoundRothandstoodagainsttheirownclanatgreat

personalrisktosaveme.“It’sgoodtoseethat

you’rerecovered,”Dezsaid,andIsmiled.“Isecondthat.I’veknown

youmostofyourlife,littleone,andIneveroncebelievedyouwereresponsibleforwhatwashappeningatthecompoundoroutsideofit,”Nicolaiadded,andIgotwarmandfuzzyontheinside.“You

mightbegladtoknowthattheplaceishardlytrouble-freewithyougone.Westillhaven’tmanagedtoexorcisePetr’swraith.Wheneverwetry,hesensesitandleavesthehouse.”“He’sprovingtobeas

muchofajackassashewasinreallife,”Dezcommented,provingthatElijah’sson,myhalfbrother,hadnotbeenwellliked.Hepaused.

“Jasminesayshi,bytheway.”“Tellherhifromme,”I

repliedlamely,andlikeanidiot,Iraisedmyhandandwiggledmyfingers.Dezgrinnedashelooked

away,somethingheoftendidaroundme.Isortofwantedtojabmyselfintheeyeswithmyjazzfingers.“Whathappened?”Zayne

finallyspoke,andwhenhe

did,mygazeswungtohim.HewasstaringatRoth,andthatmademystomachtwistpainfully.“ThetextsaidtherewasanincidentwithElijahandnottotrusthim?”Nicolaicrossedhisarms

alonghischestashetuckedhiswingsback.RemaininginhisWardenform,liketheothertwo,hewasanimpressivesight.“WehavenevertrustedElijah.”His

eyeswerefocusedonme.“Hisbeliefsandactionshavealwaysbeenasourceofdiscontentamongus.”“Well.”Rothdrewthe

wordout.“Elijahisn’tgoingtobeasourceofmuchofanythinganymore.”AlltheWardens’gazes

shottohim,andhistight-lippedgrinspread.“Detailswouldbenice,”Zaynedemanded,thecoolbreeze

tossingfairstrandsaroundhisdarkhorns.Iwadedinbeforethe

conversationwentdownhill.“Elijahis...he’snomore,”Iexplained,andthenrushedonwhenIheardDez’ssharpcurse.“Wedidn’tkillhim.”“Notthatwedidn’ttry,”

Rothamended,andwhenIshothimalook,heshrugged.“Whylie,Shortie?WewereoutsearchingfortheLilin—”

“Wearehandlingthat,”Zaynecutin,hischinrising.“Sureyouare,”Roth

replied,andalthoughthatwasataunt,IknewhewascapableoffarmorewhenitcametobeinganassholetoZayne.Thiswaswatereddown.“Andhow’sthatgoingforyouall?”Zayne’sjawworkedasif

heweregoingtogrinddowneveryoneofhisteeth.When

therewasnoimmediateresponse,Roththrewout,“Anyleads?Nope.Didn’tthinkso.”Ishiftedmyweightfrom

foottofootwhileDeznarrowedhiseyesandDanikastartedstaringattheflooroftherooftop.“Anyway,asIwassaying,

wewereoutsearchingfortheLilinwhenLaylasawElijah.Heandthreeotherclan

membersweretrackingusfromtherooftops.Weconfrontedthemandtheyattacked.”“Hestillwantsmedead,”I

explained.“Nothingnewthere.”Zayneglancedinmy

direction,butdidn’tmakeeyecontact.“Sowhathappened?”“Well,Bambiateoneof

theWardens.Sokindofnotsorryaboutthat,”Rothwent

on,andBambiflickedhertailalongmyhip,asifshewashappyattheshout-out.Isqueezedmyeyesshutbriefly.“Isortofputanotheroutofcommission.Permanently.Self-defense.Iswear.”“I’msureofthat,”Nicolai

murmuredashemovedtostandslightlyinfrontofDanika.Shedidn’tappearallthat

bothered.“Iftheywerefromhisclan,theywon’tbemissed.”“Danika,”Dez

admonished.“What?”Shethrewher

handsup.“It’sthetruth.They’realljackasses.Weallknowthat.”Nicolai’slipstwitched.

“WhathappenedtothethirdWarden?”“Hewastakinganapon

therooftopwhenwelefthim.Notsureifhe’swokenuporsomedemonhascomealonganddonebad,badthingstohim.”Rothshruggedagain.“Don’tknow.Don’tcare.”“AndElijah?”Zayne

asked,hisvoicetight.IdrewinadeepbreathasI

reachedup,pushingtheloosehairbackfrommyface.“Iwasfightinghim—”“Youwerefighting

Elijah?”Nicolai’sbrowsflewup.“Uh.Yeah?”Danikasmiledbroadly.

“Awesome.”Ishookmyhead.“The

Lilinshowedupandgotbetweenus.IttookElijah’ssoul—itconsumedit.Therewasnowraith.Nothingleft,andthentheLilinchangeditsappearance.”“ItlookslikeElijahnow,”

Rothtackedon.“That’swhyLaylathoughtitwouldbeasmartideatowarnyou.TheotherWardenthatwaswithhim,ifthatWardenisstillalive,wasoutcoldwhentheLilintookElijah’ssoul.Hewouldhavenoideathatisn’ttherealElijahiftheLilingoesbacktotheclan.”“Damn,”mutteredDez.

“I’mnotsureifweknowwheretheyareholeduphere

towarnthem.PerhapsGeoffknows.”Nicolai’sexpressionturned

thoughtful.“Ifnot,IhaveafeelingAbbotmighthaveanidea.”Icringedinwardlyatthe

mentionofAbbot’sname,butforgedon.“LikeIsaid,wewantedtowarnyouall,justincaseittriestogotothecompound.”Thenextpartwastheworst.“Basedon

howtheLilinwasabletopulloffaSamimpersonationsoconvincingly,IthinktheLilingetstheperson’smemorieswhenitconsumesthesoul.”“Thatmakessense,”

Danikasaid,glancingbackatthemales.“Thesoulistheessence,theverycoreofourbeings.Itwouldholdeverything.”Nicolaiexhaledroughly.

“Ifthat’sthecase,thenthe

Lilinwouldknowalot.”“Toomuch,”Zaynestated,

andstartedtoturn,hisdeepgraywingsunfurling.“Weneedtotalktomyfatherandtheothers.”DezandNicolaiagreed

withthestatement.Danikalingered,glancingbetweenRothandme.“Don’tbeastranger,”shesaid,voicelow.“Okay?Weallneedtoworktogetherifwe’regoingto

stopthatthing.”Inodded,feelingweirdasI

watchedthem.ItwashardtothinkofatimewhenZaynewasleavingsomewhere,andIwasn’tgoingwithhim.AstheWardensturned,Isteppedforward.AlthoughdeepdownIknewIshouldjustletthemgo—lethimgo—Icouldn’tstopmyself.Thereweretoomanyyearsbetweenustosimplypretendwewere

strangers.“Zayne?”Icalledout.HewasattheledgewhenI

spokehisname,andIthoughtIsawhisshouldersbunch,butheknelt,andthenlaunchedhimselfintotheskywithoutlookingback.Withoutacknowledging

me.

eleven

NIGHTHADFALLENbythetimewemadeittothePalisadestomeetupwithCayman.TheclubunderRoth’s

apartmentbuildingwaspackedwithdemons,aswellashumanswithdark,murkyaurassurroundingthem.Therewasabitofchurningin

mystomach,butnothingsubstantial.Sultrymusicthrummedasthesuccubiswayedtheirdiamond-coveredhipsonthestage.TheyshimmeredandtwinkledliketheChristmaslightsstrungacrosstheceiling.TheChristmaslightswere

ironic,allthingsconsidered.Roth’shandwasfirmly

wrappedaroundmineashe

ledmearoundthestage.Aswepassedthedarkenedcorners,Istrainedtoseewhatwasgoingoninthere,butallIcouldmakeoutwasanothercardgamebetweenafemaledemonandahumanwhowasn’tlookingtoohot,iftheyellowishtinttohisskinwasanyindication.Oneofthedancersinthe

cagereachedouttome,andthengiggledwildlywhen

Rothshotherawarningscowl.Hishandtightenedaroundmine.“I’mnotgoingtowanderoffonyou,”Isaidtohim.Lasttimewe’dbeenthere,he’dtoldmenottodancewithanyone,and,well,Iendedupdancingwithasuccubusandanincubus.SometimesIneededanadult.Hislaughtraveledoverthe

music.“I’mreallynottakinganychancesrightnow.”

“Rightnow?”Lettinggoofmyhand,he

drapedhisarmovermyshouldersandtuckedmeagainsthissideaswemadeourwayaroundthetables.Heloweredhishead,brushinghislipsagainstmycheek,andthenhesaidintomyear,“HaveItoldyouhowmuchIlovethosepants?”“Huh?”Glancingdown,I

bitbackagroan.Theywere

skintight,andI’dpracticallyhadtoliedownthismorningtozipthemup.“YourandCayman’stasteinclothingsucks.”Hechuckled.“Icannot

stopstaringatyour—”“Eyes?”Isuggested

helpfully.“Mmm.”Hekissedmy

earlobeaswefinallypassedthestage.“Howaboutmynose?”

“Notquite,”hereplied.Igrinned.“Youmustbe

checkingoutmykneecapsthen.”“Closer.”Hepausedaswe

nearedthebar.“Later,Icangiveyouahands-onexplanationofwhatI’vebeenstaringatallday.”Mycheeksflushed.

“You’resohelpful.”“WhatcanIsay?You

bringoutmyaltruisticside.”

CaymansteppedoutfrombehindthebarbeforeIcouldrespondtothatlaststatement,tossingthewhiteragonthecounter.“Let’shittheoffice.”I’dneverseentheoffice

before,soIwascurious.CaymanledusthroughadoorjustoutsidethebarthatreadEMPLOYEESONLY,butsomeonehadscratchedoutallthelettersexceptthree,leavingLOLbehind.

Nice.Thehallwaywasnarrow,

litbyactualtorchesshovedintowallsconces.“Interestingdecoratingchoice,”Isaid.CaymangrinnedasRoth

closedthedoorbehindus,cuttingoffthehumofmusic.“Mysugarbear,youknowwelikeallflair.”Rothsnorted.Theofficewasthethird

doordownandtheroomwasn’tatalllikeIexpected;andtobehonest,Iwasn’tevensurewhatIexpected,butdefinitelynotthis.Thespacewasdeckedoutinpalecolors—robin’seggbluewalls,whitedeskandemptybookshelf.Afuzzypinkchairwassittinginfrontofthedesk,nexttoaleopardprintrecliner.Agrayleathercouchwasagainstthewall.Aboveit

wasagiantframedphotoofOneDirection.Anditwassignedbyall

themembers,eventheonewho’dleft.Mymouthdroppedopen.“Ididnotdecoratethis

office,”Rothexplained,seeingthelookonmyface.Caymandroppedintoa

rathernormal-lookingchairbehindthedeskandkickedhisfeetup.“Hewantedblack.

Blackwalls.Blackfurniture.Blah.Blah.Ilikealittlecoloreverynowandthen.”Keepingmyopinionto

myself,Ishuffledovertothecouchandploppeddown.Beforewehittheclub,I’d

sentStaceyatext,explainingwhathappenedwhileRothfilledCaymanin.Inreturnshesentalotofexclamationpointsandaslewoffrowniefacesoverwhathadhappened

withElijah.Thoughsheknewtherewasabsolutelynolovelostbetweenhimandme,shealsoknewthatseeingElijahdiehadn’tbeeneasy.Andknowingthat

whateverpartofhimremainedoutsideoftheLilinwasinHellalsodidn’tsitwell.Ihatedthedude,butaneternityinHell,amongcreatureshe’dhelpedputthere,couldn’tbeawalkina

park.Worseyet,nowthatIsaw

whathadhappenedwithElijah,IknewwhathadgonedownwithSam,andIfeltsicktomycore.SomewhereouttherewasSam’sbody,coldandforgotten,andIalreadyknewwherewhateverwasleftofhissoulwas.Ididn’twanttothinkabout

anyofthat,butIcouldn’tstopmyself.Mythoughts

wouldmovetoonething,andthenbouncebacktoSam,towhathadhappenedtohim.AfterRothfinishedupwith

Cayman,Ijumpedupfromthecouch.“Canwegouptoyourloftinsteadofgoingbacktothehouse?”“Ifthat’swhatyouwant,”

hesaid,pushingofffromwherehe’dbeenleaningagainstthedesk.“IdoubttheWardenswillcomelooking

forusnow.Itwillbesafe.”Relievedtohearthat,I

knewI’dbehappytoseetheloftagain.Iwasfeelingalittlenostalgic,andIactuallypreferreditoverthemassivehomeinMaryland.Sure,theMcMansionhadnicefeaturesandall,butitwastoobigandfeltcold,formal.Caymantweakedmynose

ashewalkedpast,headingouttheofficedoor.“I’llsend

somegreasygoodnessup.”Mystomachgrumbled,

remindingmethatIhadn’teatensincethatmorning.Wehadtotakethestairssincetheelevatorsonlywentdown,likedownthere,andbythetimeI’dhoofeditallthewaytothetopfloor,IkindofwishedIhadclimbedontoRoth’sback.Thelittleteacuphounds

weren’tguardingthedoor.

“Whereareyourfriends?”“It’sfeedingtime,”hesaid.

“Youdon’tneedtoknowmorethanthat.”Yikes.WhenRothopenedhisloft,

warmairgreetedus.Hesteppedin,flippingonthelights,andIwalkedintothemiddleoftheroom,lookingaround.“Everythinglookslikeit

usedto,”Isaid,eyeingthe

massiveking-sizebed.Blacksheetsweresmoothedandtuckedin,andasIlookedtowardthedoorthatleduptotherooftop,Isawthatnotasinglespeckofdusttarnishedthepiano.Themorbidpaintingsoffireanddarkshadowswerestillpreciselyhung.Rothmovedovertothe

bookshelffullofancient,boring-lookingtomesand

kickedoffhisshoes.“Noonewouldchangeit.”“Someonehasbeen

keepingitclean,though.”“Cayman.”Thatmadesense,I

supposed.“Didyouexpectittolook

different?”heasked,tugginghisshirtoffhishead.Mymouthdriedlikeithad

thefirsttimeIstoodinhisloftandwatchedhimdothat.

Hisbodywasachiseledpieceofart.“I...IguessIdid.”Hislashesloweredandhis

smilewassmug,asifheknewI’dbeenmorethanmomentarilydistractedbyhim.“Wehavebeengonefromhereforwhatfeelslikeforever.Hasn’tbeenthatlong,though.”Rothwasright.Butsomuchhadchanged

sincethen.Ihadchanged,so

itwasweirdtoseesomethinguntouchedfrom...frombefore.Hebrushedhishandoverhissternum,downtothebeltonhisjeans,nearthecolorfuldragontattoo,andsomethingaboutthemovementhollowedoutmystomach.Idrewinastutteredbreath.Hislashesliftedandheatedambereyesmetmine.Theheadytensionwas

there,pullingandtuggingus

towardoneanother.Ithadalwaysbeentherebetweenus,anditwasn’tweakening.Threeshadowsdriftedoff

hisbody,slowlyfloatingtothefloor.Theysolidifiedintotheformofthekittens.Twoofthemimmediatelydartedunderthebed.Thethird—Thor—trottedovertome,rubbedupagainstmyleg,purringlikeaminiengine,andthenalsodisappeared

underthebedwithoutdrawingmyblood,whichwasanimprovement.“Iwonderwhattheydo

underthere.”Rothraisedonebroad

shoulder.“Iactuallydon’twanttoknow.”“That’sprobablyawise

choice.”Imovedtothebedandsatonthecorner,tuggingoffmyboots.“I’mgladwe’rehere.I’vemissedthisplace.”

HesmiledslightlyasIpulledmyfeetoffthefloor,nottrustingthosedamnkittenseveniftheywereplayingnicewithmerightnow.“Itdoeshaveitscharm.”Istartedtorespond,but

Rothtookamomenttostretchandtherewasjustsomethingaboutseeingallthatmuscleandskinworkingtogetherfluidlythatmademe

losecompletetrackofmythoughts.“Whatsomethingto

drink?”heasked.Mute,Ishookmyhead.Asheloweredhisarms,he

prowledovertotheblackminifridgeandpulledoutabottleofwater.Screwingoffthecap,hetookahealthydrinkbeforeplacingthebottledown.Thenhefacedme.

Rothwatchedme,notlikeheexpectedmetobreakdownatanygivenmoment,butsimplylikehewasconcerned.Hedidn’thavetoaskashewalkedovertome.“I...Ikeepthinkingthat

washow...howSamdied,”Iadmitted.“I’llthinkofsomethingelseandthenhe’sbackinmymind.”Rothkneltbeforeme.

“Layla—”

“YousawwhattheLilindid.Hetookmy...HetookElijah’ssoulandthenswallowedit.Thesoulwasconsumedanditlookedlikehimafterward.”Liftingmygaze,ImetRoth’s.“ThatwashowSamdiedandthat’swhytheLilinwasabletolooklikehim.Ithadtohavebeensopainful.”Isqueezedmyeyesshutbriefly.“Butquick,right?Itlookedlikeit

happenedsoquickwithElijah.”Heplacedhishandsonmy

knees,rubbinggently.“Itwasquick.”Shouldersdropping,I

shookmyheadslightly.“I...I’mnotreallyupsetaboutElijahandhewasmyfather.Whatdoesthatsayaboutme?”Hisexpressionhardened.

“Thatsaysnothingaboutyou.

Thatassholedonatedsperm.That’sthetruth.Thatisall.Hewasnotyourfather.Youdon’towehimasinglemomentofsadness.Youowehimnothing.”Whathesaidwastrue,

but...“It’sstillhardnottofeelguilty.”Hedidn’trespondwhilehe

studiedmeclosely.“You...youaresohumansometimes,Layla,andyet,

thereisnotadropofhumanbloodinyou.”“Socialization?”Ioffered,

andRothlaughedunderhisbreath.“I’mserious,though.Staceyand...andSam’sinfluenceonme,Ithink.Theykeptmehuman,andIlikethat.IlikethatIfeelhuman.”“Ilovethataboutyou.”His

responsewasquick,surprisingme.

“Really?”Henoddedsolemnly,andI

smiledalittle.“Youdon’toweElijahanything,”hereinforced.“Pleasetellmeyouunderstandthat.”“Ido.”Butitwasharderto

acceptit.Hisgazereturnedto

searching.“You’renotplanninganything,areyou?”Istilled.“Likewhat?”“TogetSam’ssoul?”he

asked,hiseyeslatchedontomine.“Don’ttrytodenyit—Iknowthat’swhatyouwant.Iwillgoand—”“No.Youcannotgodown

there.Iknowthatifyoudo,they’llkeepyouthere,”Iinterrupted.“Youcan’t.”Hiseyesnarrowed.

“SomeonehasbeentalkingtoCayman.”Ididn’tdenythat.“Idon’t

wantyoutoputyourselfat

risk.”“NotevenforSam?”he

challenged.KnowingwhatIplannedto

domadeithardtosaythenextword.“No.”“AndIdon’twantyouto

riskitforhim,”hereplied.“Idon’tcareifthatsoundscruel.Youdon’twantmetotakethechance.Ifeelthesameaboutyou.”SayingwhatIdidnextwas

evenharderthanthatoneword,becauseIwasgoingtolieandIdidn’twantanyliesbetweenus,butIhadtodosomethingforSam.TherewasnowayarounditandIknewifItoldRoth,hewouldfindawaytostopmeorhewouldgowithme.Neitherofthosetwothingscouldhappen.“HowcouldIgetSam’s

soul?”Iasked.“Iwouldn’t

evenknowwheretobegin.”Rothdidn’treplyashe

staredatme,andIknewthathehadtheanswers.IfCaymandid,hehadto,butifCaymanalsoknewGrimwasn’tinHellrightnow,thentherewasabigchancethatRothwasawareofthat,too.AndIalsoknewtherewasapossibilitythatRothplannedongoingtoGrimdespitetherisks.

Iwouldhavetogettherebeforehedid.“Doyouthinkyoucan

shiftrealquick,beforeCaymangetsherewiththefood?Iwanttocheckoutyourwings.”DenyingRoththiswasjust

goingtodelaytheinevitableandIwasthankfulforthechangeinconversation.Ishruggedoutofmysweater.Thereweretwosmalltearsin

thebackfromwheremywingshadrippedthroughthematerialearlier,butthetanktopunderneathfeltintact.BeforeIchangedforms,I

triedwhatRothhaddonewiththekittens.IskimmedmyfingersovertheareaBambirestedonandlowandbehold,shecamerightoffmyskin.Neat.Bambimadeherwayto

Rothfirst,nudginghisthigh

withhernose.Hereacheddown,pattingherhead.Appeasedbythat,sheslitheredovertothelow-backedchairnearthepiano.Curlingup,sherestedherheadonthearmandappearedtostareoutthewindow.Shiftingwasn’thard

anymore.Ireallydidn’tevenhavetoconcentrateorevenstandup.Iwantedittohappenanditdid.Myback

tingledandthenmywingsstartedcomingout,theleftwingaching,andwhenIglancedbackatit,itdroopedslightly,likebabyIzzy’swingsdid.“Ithinkit’sbroken,”Itold

him.Rothwalkedovertothe

bedandsatdown,twistingtowardme.Hecheckedoutthewing.“Doesithurt?”“Itaches,”Iadmitted.“Not

toobad.”Hisgazemovedtomyface

andthenbacktomywing.“Itcould’vebeenbroken,butitlookslikeit’salreadyhealing.”Hisfingersbrushedalongtheedgeofthefeathers,notneartheachingpart.Whilehistouchwasgentle,itstillsentashudderthroughme.Heimmediatelypulledhishandback.“DidIhurtyou?”

“No.They’rejustsupersensitive.”Hearchedabrowashe

openedhismouthandthenclosedit.Igrinnedandsaid,“Ithinkyourmindjustwentintothegutter.”“Shortie,mymindexists

there.”Hewinkedatmylaugh,andthenstudiedmywingforafewmoremoments.“Ithinkifyoucangiveitarestforacouple

hours,adaytops,you’llbecompletelyfine.”Iglancedbackatthesad,

gimpywing.“Doyouthinkthefeatherswillfalloff?”“What?”Mycheeksburned.

“MaybeI’mgoingthroughsomekindofmetamorphosisandI’mgoingtoshedthesefeathers.”Helookedlikehewanted

tolaugh,butwiselykissed

mybareshoulderinstead.Standingfromthebed,hewalkedovertowherehe’dlefthiswater.“Youreallyhatethosethings,don’tyou?”“Idon’thatethem.Not

exactly.”Imovedmyrightwingclosertomeandgingerlyranmyfingersoverthefeathers.“Ijustdon’tunderstandthem.SosomeUpperLeveldemonshavethem.Igetthem,butI’mnot

anUpperLeveldemon.”Rothtookadrink,andthen

placedthebottledown.“YouknowyoufeellikeanUpperLeveldemonnow,tootherWardensanddemons,whichcouldbebecauseyou’rematuring.Maybethefeathersareanothersignofthatmaturity.You’renotliketherestofus—oranydemonreally.You’reablend,andthatmakesyourgrowth

patternstoughtopredict.”Heshruggedashoulder.“That’sthebestguessIcancomeupwith,anyway,butI’malittleoutofmyelementhere.Mostofuswerecreatedalmostfullyformedandthegrowththattakesothersdecadestoachieve,wefinishinaday.”“Aren’tyoujustspecial,”I

mutteredundermybreath.Hegrinned.“Thefeathers

andthewayyoulooknow

whenyoushift?Yeah,Idon’tunderstandthatmyself.Igetthatmyresponseisn’thelpful,butyou’rethefirstwhocarriesbothWardenanddemonblood—andnotjustanydemon’sblood,butLilith’s.Thiscouldjustbeastageofyoufinallycomingintowhoyoutrulyare.”AtthatmomentI

rememberedIhadn’ttoldhimabouttheotherdemoninthe

coffeeshop.“WhenIwenttotalktoZayneabout...well,youknowwhat,therewasanUpperLeveldemonwhocameintotheshopafterheleft.Youknowhowdemonsdon’tnormallysenseme,right?Thisonedid.”“UpperLeveldemonsare

different,Shortie.Someofthemprobablycouldsensewhatyouare.”Huh.

Iliftedmygazetohis.“Butthisdemon...itranfromme,Roth.”Bothbrowslifted.“Itlegitranfrommeandit

lookedscared,”Icontinued,unsettledbythememory.“I’veneverknownanUpperLeveldemontorunfromanything,noteventheWardens.”“Theydon’t.”Hisfeatures

tensed.“Theonlythingan

UpperLevelwouldrunfromwouldbetheBoss,me,or...”Myheartturnedover

heavily.“Orwhat?”Roth’sfrowndidnothing

todeterfromhisbeauty,butitmademystomachdropnonetheless.“They’drunfromoneoftheoriginals.”“Originals?”Heleanedagainstthewall,

eyeingmewithloweredlashes.“Theoriginals,

Shortie,theonesthatareliketheBoss.Theonesthatfell.”“Thatfell...?”Iwhispered

tomyself,andthenithitme.“Youmean,theangelsthatfellwhentheywerefirstsentheretohelpmankind?”Whenhenodded,myeyeswidened.“Theyhaveblackravenwings?”Hislipsdidthattwitching

thingagain.“Yeah.SodoestheBoss.”

Pressuresettledonmyshoulders.“Butthat...”“Thatdoesn’tmakesense,

Iknow.That’swhyIdidn’tbringitup.You’renotoneoftheoriginalonestofall.Obviously,”hesaid,draggingthepalmofhishandoverhischest.“That’swhyIthinkit’ssomekindofstage.Youjuststartedshifting,Shortie.Youdon’tknowallthatyou’refullycapableof.”

Isighed.Ifthistrulywasjustaphase,thenwhatwouldbenext?Hornsalongmyspine,likesomekindofdinosaur.OrmaybescaleslikeThumper’s.“Sowhydoyouthinkthedemonran?”“Yousmelllikeme.”“Uh...Comeagain?”Thecrookedgrin

reappeared.“Myscentisalloveryou.Otherdemonswouldbeabletopickitup.”

Iresistedtheurgetosmellmyself.“It’suniquetodemons,”he

explained.“Ourscents,thatis.Sortoflikeafingerprint.Mostdemonswithaworkingbraincellwouldpickuponmyscentandheadintheoppositedirection.”Iwasstilltryingnotto

smellmyselfwhenIrememberedthatZaynehadoncesaidhecouldsmellRoth

onme.Suddenly,whatIalwayssmelledaroundhimmadesense.“Yousmelllikesomethingsweetand...musky.”Thegrinfadedandalong

momentpassedasheeyedmeintensely.“Yousmelllikesunlight.”Mybreathhaltedinmy

throat.Ihadnoideawhatsunlightsmelledlike,butIimagineditwassomething

goodandIalsothoughtthatwassweetofhimtosay.Unexpectedlyself-

conscious,Ireachedover,toyingwiththeedgeofmyrightwing.“Ifeellikea...peacock.”“Backtobirdsagain,I

see.”Hisexpressionsoftened.“Manybelievepeacocksarebeautiful.”“Howaboutacockatoo?”Roth’seyeslightened.“I’m

suretherearesomethatfindthembeautiful,also.”“Apigeon?”Hechuckled.“Layla,

nothingaboutyouremindsmeofapigeon.”“That’sgoodtoknow.”Therewasapause.“Have

youreallylookedatyourselfsincethis...thischange,whileyou’reshifted?Exceptthefirsttime?”Loweringmygaze,Ishook

myhead.“Youshoulddothat

sometimesoon.Maybeyou’llseewhatIsee.Maybeyou’llseewhateveryoneelsesees,”hesaidquietly.“Becauseyou’rebeautiful,Layla,andwhileImaysaythatonewordtoyoualot,Idon’tsimplytossitaround.AndI’veseenmany,manybeautifulthings.Peopleasbeautifulasdemonsare

atrocious.You,byfar,shinebrighterthananyofthem.It’smorethanwhatisontheoutside.Itcomesfromwithinyou.I’veseenalotofthingsandnothing,nothingcomesclosetoyou.”Ohgosh,asIliftedmy

gaze,Ihadmyheartandallthestarsintheskyinmyeyes.Thatwaspossiblytheloveliestthinganyonehadeversaidtome,andIknew,

ineverycellthatmadeupmybeing,thathebelievedinthosewords.Theyweretruetohim.Thosewordswerehisreality.Caymanarrivedwiththe

foodbeforeIcouldformulateahalf-decentresponseandRothflippedontheTV.Ishiftedback,andthenwedelvedintoaplatterofhamburgers,chickentendersandfries.Hedipped

everythinginranchdressing,evenhisburger,somethingIhadn’tnoticedbefore.AfterwardIheadedtothe

bathroomtowashmyhandsandface,figuringIneededtoafterIbasicallyshovedmyfaceintheplateofthefood.WhenIreturned,onlythelightfromthetelevisionilluminatedtheroom.TheplatewasgoneandRothwasstretchedoutonthebed,arms

behindhishead.HisstomachwasimpossiblyflatwhileIknewIlookedlikeIwascarryingafoodbaby.Sometimes,andthiswas

oneofthosemoments,IfeltcompletelyinovermyheadwhenitcametoRoth.Walkingovertohim,I

climbedontothebedandlaydownonmyside,facinghim.MyheartwasracingasifI’drunfromthebathroomtothe

bedadozenorsotimes.Rothturnedhisheadand

lookedatme.Iwiggledcloser.Hewatchedme.Isquirmedevencloser,

untilthefrontofmybodywaspressedagainstthesideofhis.Withoutlookingupathim,Irestedmyheadonhischest.Amomentpassedandheloweredhisarms.“Theeveningdidn’tpan

outlikeI’dwanted,”hesaid.That’swhenIremembered

hissurprise.“That’sokay.”“Iwantedtotakeyouout

onadate,”hewenton,almostasifhehadn’theardme.“Somethingnormal.Dinner.Maybeamovie.”Liftingmyhead,Igazed

upathim,startled.Hiseyesmetmine.“I

knowthatsoundscrazywitheverythinggoingon,but

that’swhat...that’swhathumansdo.Theygoout.Eatfood.Watchamovieneitherofthemisreallypayingattentionto.”“Theydo.”Heshiftedontohisside

andscooteddownsohewaseyelevelwithme.“Ithinktheyspendthewholedinnerandmoviethinkingabouttheotherperson,aboutwhat’sgoingtohappenwhenit’s

timetoleave.Willsheinvitehimin?Willheinviteher?Willtherebeakiss?More?”Mytoescurled.“Isthat

howyouwouldspendthetime?”“Yes.Ahundredpercent

yes,”hesaid.“Iwantedtogiveyouthatdate,though.Iwantedtogiveyouthatnight.Thatwasmysurprise.”Movedthroughand

through,Istretchedoverand

kissedhimlightlyonthelips.“Iwantthatnightwithyou,butIdon’tneedit.WhatIneedisthis—thesesecondsandminuteswithyou.That’swhatI’llalwaysneed.”Hishandsettledonmy

arm.“Youdeservemorethanthat.”Becausehesaidthat,he

deservedanotherkiss.Andbecausehesaidthat,Ifellmoreinlove,evenwhenI

didn’tknowthatwaspossible.“WehaddinnertonightandtheTVisonnow.That’sasgoodasamovie.Andyou’vetakenmymindoffthebadthingsandyou’vetoldmeI’mbeautiful.You’vegivenmethenightyouwanted.”Hestaredatmefora

moment,andthenhislipscurvedupatthecorners.Hissmileracedacrosshisface,

softeningtheharshlines.Severalmomentspassedbeforehespoke.“DoyouknowwhysometimesIhavetomoveawayfromyou?”heasked,skimminghisfingersalongmyarm.Thestatementcaughtme

offguard.“No.”Rothtrackedthemovement

ofhishandwithhisgaze.“WheneverI’maroundyou,Ialwayswanttobetouching

you.”Muscleslowinmy

stomachtightenedinresponsetohisadmission.“I’mnotevensureifit’sa

wantormoreofaneedtodoso,”hecontinued,andhisthicklasheslowered,shieldinghiseyes.Hisfingersmovedalongmystomachtomyhip.“It’salwaysbeenthatway,fromthefirsttimeIsawyou.EventhenIwantedto

touchyou.Ithinkit’sbecause...thereisnothinglikeyouwhereI’mfrom.Yourinherentgoodness,”hesaid,liftinghisgazetomine.“Icanfeelit.Idon’tknow,maybeIjustlikethewayyourskinfeelsundermyhands.Whoknows?Imighthaveaboundariesproblem.”Igrinned.“Maybejusta

little,butIdon’tmind.”Welayinsilenceforafew

momentsandmythoughtsbegantowanderbeyondtonight,beyondallourmostpressingproblems,andintoaveryunknownfuture.“Iwasthinking.”“Ohno.”Ilaughedlightly,andthen

whateverhumorIwasfeelingvanished.“Whatarewegoingtodo?”Iwhispered.Rothstiffened.“That’sa

broadquestion,Shortie.”

“Iknow.”Snugglingclose,Iletthewarmthofhisbodystealinsideofme.“ButI’mthinkingaboutadecadefromnow.”“Hmm.Adecade.Ilikethe

soundofthat.”“Iwasthinkingabouttwo

decadesfromnow.Three.WhenI’minmyfortiesandlookforty,andyoulooklikeyoudorightnow,”Iexplained,staringintothe

darkness.“Isn’tthatgoingtobeweird?”“No.”Therewasn’tamomentof

hesitationonhisend,butIlaughed.“Ohcomeon,atsomepoint,you’regoingtolooklikemyson.TheWardenbloodinmemeansIage,Roth.ImightlookyoungerthanIamwhenI’molder,butIwillageandIwill—”

“Don’tsayit.”Hisvoicewasclipped.“Don’tfinishthatsentence.”IswallowedasIliftedmy

head,meetinghisbrightgaze.“Butitistrue.HowwillwebetogetherwhenI’mninetyandyoulookeighteen?How—?”“Idon’tknowhowwe’ll

makeitwork,butwewillmakeitwork.Somehow.Andwhoknowsifyouwill

continuetoage?Igetthatyou’veagedsofar,butmaybethatwillstop.Layla,you’repartdemon.Demonsdon’tage.MaybetheWardenbloodhaswatereddownsomeaspects,butlookwhat’shappenedwhenyou’veshiftedrecently.You’rechangingandyoudon’t—wedon’t—knowallofwhatthatmeans.”“Youmakeitsoundso

easy,”Isaidafteramoment.“Likemelookinglikeyourgrandmotheronedayisn’tabigdeal.”“It’snot.”Hecuppedmy

cheek.“Idon’tthinkyouunderstandwhatitmeanswhenademonfallsinlove,Layla.Itdoesn’tgoaway.Itdoesn’tfade,evenifwewantitto.Weloveuntildeath.That’snotjustsomethingwesay.Weloveandwelove

onceandit’sforever.Nomatterwhat.Andthat’sabittwistedifyouthinkaboutit,butluckilyyoufeelthesameway,sothisisn’tawkward.Youfeelme?”Paimon,theUpperLevel

demonwho’dlovedLilithandwho’dkick-startedallofthiswhenhetriedtofreeher,hadsaidsomethingsimilar,butcomingfromRoth,itwaslikethefirsttasteof

chocolate.Itdidn’twashawayallmyconcerns,butitmademefeelbetteraboutthem,gavemehopethatwecouldfacethemtogether,evenifIneededawalkerwhenwewerefacingtheproblem.“God,Roth,

sometimes...sometimesyou’rejustperfect.”Iexpectedasnarky

response,likehewould

normallygiveme,buthishandtraveleduptomycheek,andthenslidaroundthenapeofmyneck.HeguidedmesoIwasnestledagainsthim,myheadtuckedunderhischinandoneofhislegscurledaroundmine.“CanItellyousomething?”“Ofcourse.”Roth’sthumbmovedidly

alongthebaseofmyscalp.“It’smomentslikethesethatI

need,too.”

twelve

STANDINGINFRONTofthechair,IfeltlikeI’ddrunkacaseofhighlycaffeinateddrinks.Nervousenergyconsumedme,andIshiftedfromonefoottotheother,notunlikeI’dseenThumperdoatStacey’shouse.“Canthiswait?”Iasked,

wipingmydamppalmsalong

myhips.“Imean,Ireallythinkthiscanwait.”Grinninglikeacatthatjust

corneredaherdofmice,Rothknewbetterthantogettooclosetomeatthemoment,becausetherewasagoodchanceImightpunchhim.“Nowisasgoodatimeasany,Shortie.”IwrinkledmynoseasI

foldedmyarmsacrossmychestandglancedoverto

whereCaymanwasfiddlingwithamassivecontraptionthatlookedlikeapowertool,butIknewitwasn’t.“Canhereallydothis?”Liftinghisgazetome,

Caymansmiled.“Icandojustabouteverything,teacup.”“Noteverything,”Roth

remindedhim.Caymanshrugged,and

thenhehitsomethingonthe

toolheheldandadroninghumfilledtheofficeinthebackoftheclub.Myeyeswidenedasmymusclesstiffened.“Isit...supposedtobethatloud?”Caymanlaughed.“Shortie,you’vefaced

downNightcrawlersandRaverdemons,youcannotbethatscaredofgettingatattoo.”Iwhippedaroundtoward

Roth.“You’renottheonegettingthetattoo,somaybeyoushouldjustshutup.”Behindme,Cayman

snorted,andIwhirledtowardhim,shootinghimmybestdeathglare.“You,too.Shutit.”Heshutit.“Ihavefivetats,Shortie,I

knowwhatitfeelslike,”Rothcajoled,hishandsraisedathissides.“It’llsting,but

you’restrong.You’lldeal.”Ididn’twanttodeal.Ialsodidn’twanttobe

actinglikesuchababy,butIcouldn’tlookforwardtosittingdownandallowingsomeonetodiginkintomybody.WhyhadIthoughtthiswasagoodidea?Caymanrose.“Arewe

goingtodothisornot?BecauseI’msureallofushavestufftodo.Likeyouall

haveaLilintofindandIhavedealstobroker.”“It’suptoyou,Layla,”

Rothsaid.“Ifyoudon’twanttodothis,wedon’thaveto.”Ahugepartofmewanted

tojumpontheoutheoffered,butgettingafamiliartattooedonmyskinwasthesmartthingtodo.ItwouldmakemestrongerandI’dhavemyownbuilt-inbackupsystemifthingsgotoutofhand.SoI

neededtowomanup.“Iwanttodothis.”Rothsmiledatmewhile

Caymancamearoundthedesk.“Thenhopuponthechair,”thedemonordered.“Andwe’llgetthisshowontheroad.”Isatasinstructedand

nearlysquealedwhenCaymanhitsomethingonthesideandunexpectedlysetthechairtoarecliningposition.I

grippedthearmsofthechair,glaringathim.“Awarningwould’vebeennice.”“Andwhatfunwouldthat

havebeen?”hereplied.“Youknowwhatyou’regetting?”GlancingatRoth,Inodded

slowly.We’dtalkedaboutitlastnight,andithadbeenharderthanIimaginedwhenitcametopickingafamiliar.Mostofmyideaswerelame.Atonepoint,I’dsuggesteda

llama,whichwasaboutwhenRothhadannouncedthatitwastimeforbedsincemybrainclearlyneededtorecharge.“Afox,”ItoldCayman.

“Becausetheyarefastandclever.”“Likeme,”addedRoth.Irolledmyeyes.“Not

becauseit’slikeRoth.”“Afox?Interesting,”

murmuredCaymanashe

wavedhislefthand.Alowstoolappearedoutofthinair,andIthoughtthatwasrathernifty.“I’mgoingtoneedsomespacetodothat.Pullupyourshirt.”Roth’sheadswunginhis

direction.“Youmightwanttorethinkthatrequest.”Caymansnortedashe

lookedupthroughalockofhair.“Please.Asprettyasourlittlestrudelcakeis,she

doesn’tdoitforme.Youtakingoffyourshirt,however,floatsmyboatandanchor.”IpursedmylipsasRoth

muttered,“Whatever.”Takingadeepbreath,I

pulledmyshirtupsomystomachwasexposed.“Ihaveafeelingthisisgoingtohurt.”“You’llbefine.”Roth

movedbehindthechair,

placinghishandsonmyshoulders.“Yougotthis.”Caymanhandledthe

instrumentlikeheknewwhathewasdoingashestartedtoleanoverme.Itensedandheshookhishead.“You’relucky,butterbutts.Thisisgoingtogoalotfasterandeasierthanitdoesforthehumans.”“Why?”Heglancedupatme.

“Becauseofmagic.”HesaiditlikeIdidn’thavetwobraincellstorubtogether.“Andbecauseyouwillhealahellofalotfasterthanahumanwill.Youwon’tevenneedtocoverthetat.”“Okay.”Iwasgoingto

havetobelievehim.“Whatareyougoingtocall

yourfox?”Caymanasked.Iwassotensetherewasa

goodchancepartsofmybody

wouldstartbreaking.“Robin.”Hisbrowsrose.“Why

Robin?”“MyfavoriteDisneymovie

istheonewhereafoxisRobinHood,”Iexplained.“SoRobin.”“That’smygirl,”Rothsaid

frombehindme.“Throughandthrough.”Caymanglancedupat

Roth,andthenheplacedhis

handalongmyribs.Ijumpedalittleatthecontact,andthen,becauseIcouldn’tlookawayeventhoughIshould,Iwatchedhimbringthetattooguntomyskin.“Holyshit!”Ishrieked,

increasingmydeathgriponthearmsofthechair.Sharpstingingpain,likeI’drolledaroundinahornet’snest,litupmyentirestomach.“Justalittlebitofpain?Areyou

kiddingme?”“It’llgetbetter,”Rothsaid,

rubbingmyshoulders.Withoutevenlookingat

him,Icouldhearthesmileinhisvoice,andIwantedtopunchhimintheface.MystomachburnedasCaymandidthetattoo,andonlyafteraboutaneternitydidthepainlessen,andIthinkthatwasbecausemystomachjustwentnumb.ButIsatthere

andItookitlikeagoodlittlehalfdemon,halfWarden,andIfoughttheurgetoshiftinordertoprotectmyself.Rothdidhisbesttodistract

mebypreparingmeforwhatitwouldbeliketohavemyownfamiliarandnotjustonewesortofsharedjointcustodyof.Robin,myfoxy-fox

familiar,wouldprobablysleepforthefirstdayorso

andnotmovearoundalot,andhewouldn’tcomeoffmyskinduringthattime.RothexplainedthatRobinwouldbondwithmenotjustphysically,butemotionallyandmentally.AsRobinrested,thefamiliarwouldtapintomymemories.Itwouldlearnme,andyeah,thatwaskindoffreaky,butlikewithBambiandRoth,Robinwouldbeabletoproactively

sensewheneverIwasintroubleorneededhimtotakeform.Ijusthopedhedidn’t

appearasagiant,mutantfox,becausethatwouldalsobeextremelycreepy.Ihadnoideahowmuch

timepassed,butfinallyCaymanrockedback,turningoffthetattoogun.“Done,”hesaid,stretchinghisarmsabovehisback.

Glancingdownatmysorestomach,allIcoulddowasstare.Therewasahuge-asstattoothere,stretchingfromundermyrightribcagetomynavel.Maybethatwasn’tbigtosome,buttome,itwasginormous.Anditwasbeautiful.SinceIhadn’tbeenpaying

attentiontowhatCaymanhadbeendoingwhenhestoppedandstarted,whatIsawwasa

completesurprisetome.Thereddish-browncoatofthefoxwassorealisticthatIalmostexpectedtobeabletofeelthefurifIreacheddowntotouchit.Thefox’stailwasbushyandstreakedwithwhite.Itwascurledup,itshindlegstuckedclosetoitsbodyanditslongsnoutrestingonitsfrontlegs.Cayman’sdetailwasextraordinary,downtothethicklashes,thewhite

tuftsoffuraroundtheclosedeyesandtheblackwhiskers.Andwhatwasalsotruly

amazingwashowquicklytherednesswasfadingaroundtheedgesofthetattoo.Caymanhadn’tbeenjokingwhenhesaidIwaslucky.Withinanhourorso,Iknewtheskinwouldbecompletelyhealed.Withoutwarning,oneof

thefox’swhiskerstwitched

andIjumpedinthechair.Grinning,IlookedupatRoth.“Hiswhiskermoved!”Hissmilereachedhiseyes,

lighteningthecolor.“That’sfast.Ihaveafeelingthisoneisgoingtobeactive.”“IhopeheandBambiget

along.”Itwaskindoflikeintroducingthebigsistertothelittlebrother,andhopingshedidn’tpitchtheinterloperinfrontofaspeedingtruck.

“Theywill,”hesaid,curlinghishandaroundthenapeofmyneck.“Youdidgood,Shortie.Youdeserveareward.”Iarchedabrow,knowingI

hadn’treallydonethatgood.Frankly,I’dactedlikeagiantbaby.“Areward?”Rothnoddedandthen

leaneddown,kissingme,andnotjustaquickpeckonthelips,either.Allmysenses

refocusedsolelyonhim.Ididn’tevenfeelthedullachealongmystomach.Hishandslippedtomychin,holdingmeinplaceashedeepenedthekissandIgottocheckoutthatboltinhistongue.Oh,thatkiss...Itmademe

thinkofotherthings—thingsthatweren’tentirelyappropriatewhenitcametowherewewereandthefactthatthedayyawnedwide-

openinfrontofus.Lastnight,afterwetalkedaboutthefamiliar,we’dbeentoodrainedtodoanythingbutsleep,andnowIwaswishingwehadusedthatprivatetimemorewisely.Weneededtogetamoveonit,astherewasreallyimportantstuffthatneededtogetdone,butmybodyflushedandIreachedup,wrappingmyhandaroundthebackofhishead,

threadingmyfingersthroughhismessyhair.“Don’tmindme,”Cayman

said.“I’mnothere.Nope.I’mnottheawkwardthirdparty,havingtowitnessyoutwoeateachother’sface.”Liftinghishead,Rothcast

adarklookinCayman’sdirectionwhileIjustsatthere,enjoyingtheaftereffectsofthekiss.“Youknow,youcould’vesimply

left.”“Don’tbringlogicintothis

conversation,”hesaid,standing.WhenIlookedathim,Isawthatthetattoogunwasgone.HewinkedatmeasItuggedmyshirtdown.“LikeRothsaid,don’tbesurprisedifyourfamiliardoesn’tmovearoundmuchatfirst.He’sbasicallysleeping,butwhenhe’sreadyandhesensesyou’reinanykindof

danger,he’sprobablygoingtocomeoff.”Inoddedandthenscooted

offthechair,standing.Ididn’tfeelexactlydifferentnowthatIhadmyownfamiliar,butIwasabitexcitedtoseeRobininthefleshforthefirsttime.Nowitwastimetohitthe

streets.TherewasagoodchancethatsincetheLilinhadshownupyesterday,it

wouldagaintoday,butwewouldbepreparedthistime.Wehadtobe.Caymanbackeduptothe

deskandleanedagainstit,crossinghisarms.“Beforeyouguysleave,canyoudomeafavor,Roth?”“Depends,”hedrawled.“Youhaveabookupstairs

—theoneaboutlesserdemons.CanIborrowthat?”Rothraisedabrow.“Yeah.

Whenhaveyoueveraskedbefore?”“I’mturningoveranew

leaf.”Ambereyesnarrowedon

Cayman.“Youcanborrowit.”“Canyougrabitforme?”Rothstaredathim.“I’mletired,”Cayman

said,mimickingaFrenchaccentI’dheardonaYouTubevideoonce.“Plus,I

don’twanttopopinlaterandgetitifyouandLaylaareinthere,engagedinshenanigans,becausethenyou’dhavetohurtmeifIsawherladybitsand—”“Okay,”Rothcuthimoff,

scrubbinghisfingersthroughhishair,irritated.“Juststoptalking.”Caymansmiled.Mutteringunderhisbreath,

Rothwalkedtowardthedoor,

andthendisappeared.Iblinked,hatingwhentheydidthat.Resistingtheurgetopatmynow-tattooedbelly,Ikeptmyhandsatmysides.“Thatwasastrangerequest.”“Ireallydon’twantthe

book.Readingissoboring,”hereplied,pushingoffthetable.Ifrowned.“Thenwhy—”“Wedon’thavealotof

time.Iwentintotheloftthis

morningandshovedthatbookbehindabunchofotherdustybooksthatlookedboringasHell,buthe’llbedownhereinafewmoments,”heexplained.“IgotwordlastnightthatGrimreturnedearlytoHell.He’sthere.”Atfirst,allIcoulddowas

stareatCayman.Grim—theGrimReaper—wasbackinHell,theonlybeingthat

couldreleaseSam’ssoul.Excitementanddreadexplodedlikearocketinsideme.IcouldfinallydosomethingforSam,butIalsoknewthiswasn’tgoingtobeeasy.“Ifyou’rereadytogo

downthere,I’dsuggestyoudoitsoonincaseGrimchangeshisplans,”hewenton.“AndIhearhe’sinagoodmood.Sonowwouldbe

agreattimetobegandplead.Becausethat’sallyoureallyhavetoofferhim,right?Yourbegging?”Iblinked.“That’sallIcan

thinkof.He’stheGrim,andifhespendspartofhistimeinHeaven,hecan’treallybeallevil.”“Soyou’rehopingyoucan

appealtohisinnatesenseofgoodnessandjustice?”heasked,andwhenInodded,he

laughed.“Oh,LoopyLayla,youaresocute.”Foldingmyarms,Iexhaled

loudly.“WhatelsedoIhavetoofferhim?Ifyouhaveasuggestion,itwouldbehelpful.”“Idon’t.”Heflickeda

blondlockoutofhisfaceasheshrugged.“Truthis,Idon’tevenknowwhatGrimcouldwantinreturnorifhe’dwantanythingatall.You’ll

justhavetofindout.Areyoustillwantingtodothis?”Inthebackofmyhead,I

fullyrecognizedwhatahorribleideathiswasturningouttobe.WhowasItowaltzintoHellanddemandthatwhatwasvirtuallytheangelofdeathdosomething,butwhatotherchoicedidIhave?Icouldn’triskRothdoingit,knowingthatifhewentintoHellrightnow,hemightnot

comebackout,andIcouldn’tleaveSaminthere.Icouldn’tbecomplacentandIhadtotrysomething.“I’min,”Isaid,andmy

nervesstretchedtight.Heinclinedhisheadand

thetypicalplayfulnesswasgonefromhisexpression.“When?”Myheartwaspoundingas

Iglancedatthedoor.BeinginHellwasgoingtobeas

dangerousaswalkingacrossthebeltwayduringrushhour.Somanythingscouldgowrong,andifIleftrightnow,RothpoppingoutofthisroomcouldpossiblybethelasttimeIsawhim.ThetextsIhadwithStaceycouldbeourlastcorrespondenceever,andwhenIsawZayneyesterday,thatcouldbethelasttime.Havinganothercoupleofhoursordays

wasn’tgoingtofixanythingwithZayne,butitwouldgivemetimetoseeStaceyanditwouldgivemetimewithRothto...Tosqueezeaforeverintoa

fewshorthours.Toexperienceeverything

wehadn’tyetexploredbeforewelostthechance.“CanIhavetonight?”I

asked.Caymaneyedmeandthen

nodded.“Meetmeinthelobbyinthemorning.Makethemostoftoday.Anythingispossibletomorrow.”

thirteen

THATEVENING,IstoodinthebathroomofRoth’sloftandstaredatmyreflection.Myfacewasflushed,eyeswaytoobig,asusual,andnothingreallylookedthatdifferentaboutme.ButIfeltdifferent.Oldersomehow,andIwasn’tsurewhathadsparkedthat.

Outsideofthebathroom,IcouldhearRothmovingaroundandthesofthumoftheTVwascomforting.Iglancedatthedoor,andmyheartturnedintoasledgehammer.Itwasn’tuntilthemomentCaymantoldmethatGrimwasbackinHellthatitreallyslammedintomethatIwasgoingtogotraipsingintoHelltotalktotheGrimReaper.Cayman

didn’tneedtowarnmethatitwouldbedangerous.Iknewitwouldbe.Anythingcouldgowrong,andtonightcouldbemylastnightwithRoth.Iwanted—no,needed—to

beclosetohimtonight.Ifsomethingwentwrong

tomorrow,IwantedtoexperienceasmuchasIcouldbeforethen.IwantedtoexperienceRoth.Itwasn’tadecisionItooklightly.I’d

beenobsessingoveritalldaywhileweroamedthestreets,comingupempty-handed.WhatIwantedfromtonightwasabigdeal.WhileRothandIhaddonethings,wehadn’tdonethatonething,andIassumedthenervousnessIfeltwasnormal.Rothhadwaymoreexperiencethanmewhenitcametothis,butasmygazeshiftedbacktothemirror,I

knewIwasready.IjusthopedI...Ididn’tembarrassmyself.Thathedidn’tthinkIwasnaiveorhadnoideawhatIwasdoing,becauseIseriouslyhadnoideawhatIwasdoinginthisarena.Mygazedippedtothe

strapsonmycamisoleandmyskinheatedinaflash.WhenIenteredthebathroom,I’dbeenfullyclothed.Ofcourse.Butnowmyjeansand

thesweaterIworewerefoldedontherimofthebathtub,andshovedinbetweenthemwasmybra.Thematerialofthecamiwasthin,somuchsothatIdidn’tneedtolookdowntoknowexactlywhatcouldandcouldnotbeseen.AndIdidn’tneedthetinychillbumpsracingupanddownmylegstoremindmethatwhilemyundiesweren’texactlyskimpy,they

sureasheckdidn’tcoverallthatmuch.I’dneverroamedundressedlikethis,andIhadnoideawhatmybuttlookedlikeintheseundiesandIreallydidn’twanttoknow.Iwiggledmytoesonthe

cooltilefloor.“Icandothis,”Iwhispered

atmyreflection.“Iamabadasshybrid...notadonkey...creature.Withfeatheredwings.Thatare

prettyandweird.Icandothis.”Mypeptalkwasn’t

helping.Ijustneededtoopenthe

doorandwalkmyconfidentbootyoutintothebedroom,grabRothbytheshoulders,tosshimontothebedtotalShe-Rastyle,andgetdowntobusiness.Ifrowned.Well,noneofthatsounded

exactlyromantic,andreally,Ijustneededtowalkoutofthisroomwithoutlookinglikeatotalidiot.Forgeteverythingelse.Tuggingmyhairovermyshoulders,Itookadeepbreath,threwupalittleinmymouth,andthenturnedtothedoor,yankingitnearlyoffitshingesasIhauleditopen.Itooktwostepsandthen

stopped.Rothwasstandinginfront

ofthebed,staringattheTVwithhisarmextended,remoteinhishand.Heglancedinmydirectionandfroze.Myheartwaslodgedinmy

throat,andIcouldn’tgetasinglewordoutasheturnedtome,theremoteslippingoutofhisfingers,fallingtothefloor.Itcrackedlikethunder,butneitherofusreactedtothesound.

Hisgazestartedatthetopofmyheadandglidedallthewaydowntothetipsofmycurledtoes,andthenslowlymadethetrekbackuptomyeyes.Theintensityinhisgazecreatedaflutterlowinmybelly.Whenhespoke,hisvoicewasrough,sendingaseriesofchillsupanddownmyspine.“Idon’tknowwhatmadeyouchangeyoursleepingattire,butIjustwant

toletyouknowthatIamahundredandfifty-fivepercentbehindit.”AllIcouldthinkwasthat

helikedwhathesawandthatwasagoodsign.“Actually,ifyouwantto

dresslikethatwheneverwe’realone—toeatdinner,watchtheTV,readabookorwhatever,Ialsosupportthat.”Anothergreatsign.Hisheatedgazedipped

oncemoreandhemadethissoundinthebackofhisthroat,elicitinganotherroundofshivers.“Damn,Layla,I...”Heseemedtorunoutof

words,andthatmademefeelalittlebetterstandingthere,myhandstrembling.Hewasobviouslyaffected,andthataffectedme,causingweighttosettleincertainareasofmybody.

Mylegscarriedmetowardhimandtheyfeltstrangelyweak.ThecloserIgottohim,themoretensionpouredoffhim.Hestiffened,hispupilsdilatingslightly,andIcouldbarelygetairintomylungsasIplacedmyhandsonhischest.Theheatofhisskinburnedthroughhisshirt,andIfelthischestrisewithadeepbreath.Istretchedup,pressingthelengthofmy

bodyagainsthis.Ididn’thavetoask.Rothmetmehalfway,

loweringhismouthtomine,andalthoughIwastheonetoinitiatethekiss,hewastheonewhostartledmewiththepassionbehindit.I’dsetouttoseducehim,whichwaslaughableifIreallythoughtaboutit,butIwasn’treallythinking.Themomenthislipstouchedmine,Iwas

consumedwithhowhetastedandfelt,howmyheartwasjackhammeringwhenhecircledanarmaroundmywaistandliftedmeupsothatmyfeetwereatophisbareones.Hisotherhandclosedaroundthenapeofmyneck,andwewerekissing,reallykissing,andIcouldfeeltheboltinhistongue.Therewasn’taninchofspacebetweenourbodies.Ifolded

myarmsaroundhisneck,myfingersslidingthroughthesoftlocksofhair.Hesuddenlyliftedhis

mouthfrommine.Eachbreathhetookashestareddownatmewasragged,andIfeltitineverypartofme.“Ican’tbelieveI’mgoingtosaythis,butwe...weneedtoslowitdown.”Mylipsfeltswollenand

myskinwasbuzzing,butmy

heartwasabouttocomeoutofmychest.“I...Idon’twanttoslowdown.”Hiseyesflaredabright,

tawnycolorashisarmtightenedaroundme.“Layla—”“Idon’twanttostop.”My

skinfeltwaytootightasIrushedon.“Idon’twanttoslowdown.Iwanttogofast.”Themomentthosewordswereoutofmymouth,I

wantedtosmackmyself.“Imean,Iwant—”“Igetwhatyou’resaying,”

hesaidthickly.“Damn,doIever.”Swallowinghard,Istarted

forhismouthagain,butthehandatthebackofmyneckstilledme.Confused,Ifeltthetendrilsofembarrassmentstarttobuild.“Idon’t...understand.Youdon’twantthis?”

“Isthataseriousquestion?”“Yeah.”Withhisarm,heliftedme

upjustafewmoreinches,untilourbodieswerepiecedtogetherinallthewaysthatcounted.“Whatdoyouthinktheanswertothatquestionis?”Heatburstthroughmy

veins,notoutofembarrassment,butbecauseI

couldfeeleverypartofhim.“I...Ithinkyoudo.”“There’snothingelseI

wantmorethanthatinthismoment.Layla,Iwantyou.IwantyousobadlythateverytimeI’malonewithyou—Hell,wheneverI’minthenearvicinityofyou—ittakeseveryounceofrestraintIhavenottohaveyou.Makenomistake,theverythoughtofbeingwithyouundoes

me,”hesaid,hisvoicegruff,andIshiveredattheintensitybehindhiswords.“ButIonlywanttogothereifyou’reready.There’snomiddleground.There’renomaybes,andI’llwaitforhoweverlongthattakes.”Absolutewonderfilledme

—flooredme.Itwassuchanun-demon-likeresponse,yetagain,andactuallysounlikemostguysofanyspecies.

Deepdown,Iknewatinypartofmehadn’tbeenentirelyreadyupuntilthisverymoment,thatIwasdoingthisbecauseofthepotentialofneverseeinghimagainaftertomorrow.Iwasrushingtowardit,becauseIwasafraidwewouldn’tgetthechanceagain,andthatwasreallythewrongreasontowanttotakeourrelationshiptothenextlevel.

Butthis—whathe’djustsaidtome—erasedallmydoubts.Nottheinherentnervousnessthatcamewithsuchamajorthing,butitvanquishedanylingeringconcernsIhad.Iwasready.Iwasreadybecausehewas

willingtoslowitdown.Hewaswillingtowait.Hewaswillingtoletmesetthepace.Myhanddidn’ttrembleas

Iplaceditagainsthischeek,

andmygazewassteadywhenImethis.“I’mready,Roth.”Hiseyesslammedshut.

“Layla.”Hesaidmynameharshly.“I’mnotasaint.Youknowthis.Iwantto—”“Idon’twantyoutobea

saint.Iwantyoutobeyou,”Itoldhim,movingmythumbalonghislowerlip.“IloveyouandIwantthis.”Hedidn’tseemtobreathe

asthesecondsstretchedout

betweenus.“Areyousure?”“Yes.”ThenInoddedfor

extraemphasis,justincasehewasconfused.Alongmomentpassed

beforeRothshowedanyreactiontowhatIsaid,andthenhesmiled.Notthebig,breathtakingone,butasmaller,moreintimateonethatwrappedaroundmyheart.Andthenhekissedme.Theinitialtouchofour

mouthswasdifferentfromtheearlierkiss.Itwasfeathersoft,heartbreakinglytender—akissofreverence.Ididn’tevenknowyoucouldbekissedlikethat.Butthecontact...itevolvedwiththesecondpassofhislips,andmineparted,welcominghim,andthatkisswasfarmorethansomethingphysical.Inthatkiss,Icouldfeelour

loveforoneanother,our

acceptanceofeachother.Itwasliketakingallourhopesanddreamsandrollingthemupintoonekiss,anditpackedsomuchpowerfulemotion,thatitwasapunchtotheverycoreofbothofus.Itwasjustakissanditwasnearlytoomuchanditstillwasn’tenough,anditwasjustbeautiful.Rothliftedhisheadagain,

butthistimeitwasn’ttostop

us.Ourgazeslocked,andawealthofemotionshowedinhistawnyeyesashestareddownatme.“Youmakeme...”Heswallowedagain.“YoumakemewishIhadasoulsothatIcouldbeworthyofyou.”Idrewinasharpbreath.

“Youareworthyofme.”Rothheldmygazeand

thenhislipswereonmineagain.Weweremovingand

whenthebackofmylegshitthebed,heguidedmeuntilIwaslyingdownthemiddleofit.MyhandsflutteredtothecomforterasIwatchedhimstandingaboveme.Hissmilewassoftashe

reacheddownandtuggedhisshirtoff,tossingitsomewherebehindme,andmystomachhollowedashisleanmusclesmovedwithfluidgrace.Thekittenswere

offhim,mostlikelyhiddensomewhereintheroom.Bambi’stailwasvisiblealongthestretchoftautskinandthedragonwaswherehealwayswas.Hewenttothenightstand

andgrabbedasmallpackage,tossingitonthebed.“Idon’tknowifwecanproduceachild—ifIcanoryoucan.SoIthinkwejustneedtobecareful.”

Myfacewasonfire.“Goodcall.”Inclininghisheadtothe

side,hegrinned.“Yeah.Maybeoneday,we’lltestthatout.”Ithinkmyheartmight’ve

stopped,becausemakingababywasn’tsomethingI’devenbrieflyconsidered.Growingup,I’dassumedthatitwasneverinthecardsbecauseofwhatIwasand

wasn’t.I’dbeentaughtthatIdidn’thavetheattributesforchildbearing,andwhetherthatmeantitwasgeneticallyimpossibleformeorjustnottheWardens’preference,Ididn’tknow.Buttheideaofdoingsoonedayinthefuturewasstrange,elatingandscary.Movingtowardthebed,he

placedhiskneesoneithersideofmylegsashecrawled

aboveme.Airconstrictedinmylungsashecagedmein.Oureyesmet,andIsworeRothstoppedbreathingforamoment.Thenheslowlyloweredhimselfdown,andtheweightofhimwasshattering.Hestareddownatme,the

tipsofhisfingerstrailingoverthecurveofmycheek.“Iwantthistobeperfectforyou.”

Myheartswelled.“Itwillbe,becauseit’swithyou.”Onesideofhislipskicked

up.“IfeellikeI’ve—”Achokedlaughcuthimoff.“LikeI’veneverdonethisbefore.”“Well,thatmakestwoof

us.”Ismiled.“Sothiscouldbereallygoodor—”“It’sgoingtobemorethan

reallygood,”hesaid,dragginghisthumbalongmy

lowerlip,mimickingmyearliercaress.“Yeah,it’sgoingtobemore.”Ishiveredashelowered

hishead,stoppingjustshortofkissingme.“Ifforwhateverreason,youwantmetostopatanypointinthis,tellme.Okay?Promiseme.”“Ipromise,”Iwhispered,

wrappingmyarmaroundhisneck.

Somethingsoftandamazingflashedacrosshisfeatures,andthenwewerekissing,andwekissedforwhatfeltlikeforever.Eachkisshadadruggingsortofeffect,looseningtherigidnessinmymuscles.Andeachkisswaslikeaneraser,removingeverythingoutsidethislittleworldwewerecreating.Ilostmyselfinhim,andhelosthimselfinme.Timeslowed

andrushedby,andwewerehotandflushedasthekissesincreased,twistingagainsteachother.WhenRothliftedhishead

oncemore,hedidn’tspeakormoveforalongmoment,andmychestsqueezedasIdraggedmyfingersthroughhishair.Hedippedhishead,kissingmycheek.“Rememberyourpromise.”Iremembered,butIwasn’t

goingtostophimandIwasn’tgoingtodenywhatbothofuswanted.Heseemedtorealizethatbecauseashesettledovermeagain,notquitetouchingme,heclosedhiseyes,expressionstrained.Electricitysnappedbetweenus,tuggingatusasarawfeelingpulsed.Iturnedmyhead,seekinghismouth,andwhenIfoundit,IpouredeverythingIfeltforhiminto

thekiss.Myhandsslippedoverthethickcordsofhisneck,traveledthemuscleswheretheybunchedinhisshoulders,downhisleansides,andthenaroundtohisabs,goinglower—overeachtautridge,andlowerstill.HedrewinasharpbreathasIreachedthebuttononhisjeans.Hecaughtmyhand,

tuggingitawayandpressing

itdownintothemattress.Myheartjumpedasheatrolledoffhisbody.Hisskinseemedtoothinandtherewereshadowslingeringjustbehindthelayeroffleshashedrewhishanddowntothehemofmycamisole.Ireallywasn’tthinkingasI

liftedmyshouldersandthecamiendedupsomewherewithhisshirt,orwhenIliftedmyhipsandthelastbitof

clothingwasgone.Iwasn’tthinkingwhenhisbodybowedandhekissedthespacejustbelowmynewtattoo.Andtherewerenothoughtswhen,withtremblinghands,hebegantoexploreme.Myheartwastrippingoveritselfandthefireinmystomachhadturnedintoawaveofmoltenlavacoursingthroughmyveins.Thenhisclothescameoff,

andhewaspossiblythemostbeautifulthingI’deverseen,andwhenhislipsmetmine,Iwasnearlyovercomebythestrengthoftheemotionsflowingbetweenus.Andeverything—everythinghebegantodowasdownrightdelicious.Wewerepressingagainstoneanother,straininguntilIwasfloatinginheavysensations.Myskincamealivewhereverwetouched,

andourhandswereeverywhere—Iwaslostinhimashislipsblazedafierypathdownmythroatandlower,muchlower,likehe’ddonebefore,andlikebefore,Iflewapartwitheachprecise,measuredtouch,andhepiecedmebacktogetherwithdeep,slowkisses.Whenheroseaboveme

oncemore,hisfingerswereatmyhipsandheshookashe

restedhisforeheadagainstmine.Ourskinwasdamp,ourbodiesflushed.“Ineed...Ineedaminute,”hesaidinarough,lowvoice.Ilookedathim,really

lookedathim,andsawthathewasclosetolosingcontrolofhishumanform.Hisskinhaddarkenedandsmoothedtogranite.WhenIsawhiseyes,theyweregolden,butthepupilshadstretched

vertically.EmboldenedbytheeffectI

hadonhim,Itouchedhim,rememberingthecommenthe’dmadesolongagoaboutbeingpiercedinotherareas,andhesohadnotbeenjokingaboutthat.Hemadethissoundthatcurledmytoes.Hiseyesclosedashischestrosedeeplyandwhentheyreopened,hispupilswerebacktonormal.

Hishandswerebackonmeandheslowedeverythingdown,untilbothofuswereclamoringatoneanother,unabletowait,andthenithappened.Iwasn’tentirelysurewhat

toexpectsinceitwasn’tsomethingI’dgottendetailsonbefore,notevenfromStacey.Therewasasparkofpainthatstolemybreath,butRoth...hesmoothedoverthat

painandturneditintosomethingutterlyamazing,exquisitelybeautiful.Itfeltlikebeingonarollercoaster,abouttoplummethundredsoffeetdown,andwhenIdid,Rothwasthere.AndI’dneverexperienced

anythinglikethisbefore.Itwasperfectandpowerful,andasRothwhisperedthosethreewordsoverandover,ourbodiesmovedagainsteach

other.Inthismoment,Rothwasn’ttheCrownPrinceandIwasn’t,well,whateverIwas.Wewerejusttwopeopleinlove,andthatwaseverything.Minutesmighthave

passed,maybeevenhours;Icouldn’tbesure,buteventuallyourheartsslowedandwewerelyingtangledtogetherinthemiddleofthebed,hisarmsaroundme,

holdingmeclose.“Youokay?”heasked,

soundinglikehehadn’tspokeninages.Ittookmeamomenttoget

mytonguetowork.“Ifeel...perfect.”Hislipsbrushedmine.“I

didn’thurtyou?”Ishookmyheadasmy

eyesdriftedshut.“No.Youwere...”“Amazing?Divine?Mind-

blowing—”Laughingsoftly,Isnuggled

inagainsthim.“Yes.Toallofthosethings.”Hisembracetightenedand

neitherofusspokeforalongmomentashesmoothedhishandupanddownthecenterofmyback,lullingmeintoapleasant,blissed-outhaze.“Thankyou,”hesaid.“Whatareyouthankingme

for?”Iwhispered.

Rothkissedmybrow.“Foreverythingyouhavegivenme.”

fourteen

IDOZEDOFFinRoth’sarms,butwhenIstretchedoutmyarmssomeunknowntimelater,Ifoundthebedwasempty.Blinkingopenmyeyes,Iwasmetwithdarkness.Itwasstillnight,andasIwiggledmytoes,Irefusedtoallowthoughtsofthemorningtocreepintomy

languidhappiness.Rollingover,Iwaiteduntil

myeyesadjustedtothedark.Ithoughthemightbeinthebathroom,butasmygazeflittedacrosstheroom,Isawhimbythepiano.Myheartspedup,mymindimmediatelyveeringtowhatwe’ddone,whatwe’dshared.Thesheetswerepooled

aroundmyhipsandIwastoolazytofixthem.Instead,I

looselyfoldedmyarmsacrossmychest.Hewassittingonthe

bench,facingme,withhisarmsdrapedoverhisbentknees.Icouldn’tmakeoutmostofhimasIsnuggledontomyside.“Whatareyoudoing?”Rothstoodandglidedout

oftheshadows.Hisexpressionwasrelaxedandopen,buthedidn’tlook

normal.Rothcouldneverlookjustnormal,butashestoodthere,helookedascloseashe’deverbe.“I’mprobablygoingtosoundlikeacreep,butIwaswatchingyou.”“Thatisahallmarkofa

creeper.”Onesideofhislipscurled

upandadimpleappearedinhisrightcheek.“Ican’thelpmyself.You’rejusttoo

beautifultolookawayfrom.It’strue.I’mademon.Idon’tlie.”Istaredathim.Hisgrinspread.“Igotup

togetsomethingtodrink,”headmitted.“AndIglancedbackatyou.Idon’tevenknowwhy.IjustdidandthenIstopped.”Hissmilefadedabit.“MaybeIcan’tbelievethatyou’rereallyhere.Thatwe’rehere.”Heraiseda

shoulderandsmoothskinstretchedovertautmuscles.“AndthenIsatdownandIstartedthinkingabout...abouteverythingwiththeLilin,andnowI’vebeenentertainingtheideaofgatheringyouupwhileyousleptandbasicallykidnappingyou.Hawaiistillseemslikeagoodplace.ScrewwhateverhappenswiththeLilinandallofthat.Wecouldsurvive.I’dmakesure

ofthat.”Reachingdown,myfingers

curledaroundtheedgeofthecomforter.“Roth...”Hesighedasheraiseda

hand,scrubbinghisfingersthroughhismessydarkhair.“Iknow.Youcan’twalkawayfromanyofthis.Noneofuscan.”Hedroppedhisarm.“SothatwaswhatIwasthinkingaboutwhileIwasstaringatyou.”Thoseamber

eyesflashedwithmischief,andIrelaxed.Iwasn’treadyfortheworldoutsidetointrude.“DidItellyouthatyou’rebeautiful?”“Yes.”Liftingmyhandto

thepoofthatwascurrentlymyhair,IlaughedasIpressedmycheekagainstthepillow.“ButIdon’tknowhowyoucouldthinkso.I’mamess.”Hetippedhisheadtothe

sideandpivotedaround,headingtowardthebathroom.Afterafewseconds,hereturnedwithahairbrushinhand.Withhisjeansunbuttoned,theyhungindecentlylow.IcoulddefinitelyseewhereThumper’stailwasheading.NotthatIhadn’treally

seenthatearlier.Cheeksflaming,Ipressed

myentirefaceintothepillow,

hidingwhathadtobethegoofiestsmileknowntoman.Despiteallthecrazinesswewerefacingandtheuncertaintyofwhatthenexthourortomorrowcoulddroponus,mylittlepieceoftheworldfeltbrightandwarm.WhatRothandIhad

shared,whatwehaddone,wasbeyondbeautifulandwasn’tsomethingIcouldsimplifywithwords.Foritto

havebeenthatwaybetweenus,wehadtobeinlovewitheachother—madly,deeplyinlove.Iwasthecorniestcornball

inacornfieldfullofpopcorn.Rothtouchedmyshoulder.

“Situp.”“Meh,”Imurmuredinto

thepillow.Hechuckled.“Situp.

Please.”Demonsrarelysaidplease.

Iwasbeginningtothinkitwasawordnotintheircorevocabulary,soIsatup,tuggingthecomfortertomychest.Rothslippedinbehindme.Onelegwasbentagainstmyside,theotherdangledofftheedgeofthebed.Ilookedbackathim,but

beforeIcouldspeak,heloweredhismouthtomineandkissedme.Thetouchofcoolmetalagainstmytongue

wasalltoobrief.HepulledawayandgentlyturnedmychinsoIwasfacingawayfromhim.“LetmeseewhatIcando

withthis,”hesaid,gatheringupmyhair.“You’reright.Thisisamess.Youlooklikeyoucould’vebeeninan’80smusicvideo.Whatdidyoudotoit?”“Ididn’tdoanything.That

—”Ipointedatmyhead“—

isallyourdoing.”Hestartedtoeasethebrush

throughmyhair.“Blamethedemon.Iseehowyouare.”AsRothworkedhisway

throughthetangles,itreallyhitmethattheCrownPrinceofHellwasactuallybrushingmyhair.Thatwasbeyondbizarrebutalsoincrediblysweet.Mywarmandfuzzyglowfromearlierwasturningintoemotionalweepiness.

Tearsprickedatmyeyes.Ineededamoodstabilizer.Rothwasextraordinarily

patientwhenitcametoworkingouttheknots,moresothanme.Atthispoint,Iwasusuallycussingandyankingthebrushthroughmyhair.Hehummedunderhisbreathasheworked,andIimmediatelyrecognizedthetune.“Is‘ParadiseCity’your

favoritesong?”Iasked.“Thesongjustkindofgot

stuckinmyhead,”hesaid.“Foracoupleofyears,allwecouldgetdownbelowwastheclassicrockstation,andthe‘grassisgreen’linealwaysstuckouttome.”IgrinnedasIpicturedHell

gettingSiriusradio.“Why?”Therewasabeatof

silence.“Thegrassisnevergreendownbelow,Shortie.”

Mylipsslippeddownatthecorners.“It’snot?Whatcolorisit?”“Gray,”heanswered.

“Everythingisprettymuchgray.Exceptfortheblood.Andthere’salotofblood.”Ashudderworkeditsway

downmyspine.“Soundslovely.”“It’saweirdplace.LikeI

saidbefore,itmimicstopsidebutdoesashittyjobatit.

Everythingisshinyatfirst,almost...pretty.EverysingletimeIgodownthere,it’slikethat—it’slikethatforeveryone,butitdoesn’ttakelongforthingstostarttogodownhill.Itfades.Buildingscrumble,theskylookslikeit’spollutedwithdirt,andthegrass...yeah,it’sgray.”Heeasedthebrushthroughmyhair,stoppingatanothertangle.“Everythingistwisted

andtarnisheddownthere.Thingsarerealuphere.Downbelowtheyaresadreplicasthatfallapart.”IrememberedwhenRoth

hadadmittedbeforethatthiswasoneofthereasonsheenjoyedcomingtopside.Myheartturnedoverheavily.“Will...willyouhavetogoback?”Hedidn’tanswer

immediately,causingknotsto

forminmybelly.“Idon’tknow,Shortie.IftheBosscallsmeback,Icanonlydisobeyforsolong.”Closingmyeyesagainst

theacheinmychest,Iknewthiswassomethingweweregoingtoeventuallyhavetoface.“HastheBosscalledyoubackyet?”“No.”Hepaused,pressing

akissagainstmybareshoulder.“TheBosskindof

letsmostofuscomeandgoasweplease,unlessweareneededforsomething.AslongasIstayontheBoss’sgoodside,Ishouldbegood.”Thatwasn’treassuring.

“ButIthoughttheBosswasdispleasedwithyou.”“TheBossisalways

displeased,”hereplied.“There’sabigdifferencebetweenhimbeingdispleasedandmebeingontheBoss’s

badside.”Itookthatstatementto

heart,butIcouldn’timagineRothstayingontheBoss’sgoodsideforever.“Don’tworryaboutit,”he

said,returningtomyhair.Icouldfeelhimseparatethenow-untangledstrandsintothreesections.“Rightnow,that’snotthebiggestofourproblems.”Isnorted.“True.ButI

can’thelpbutworrythatoneday,you’regoingto...thatyou’regoingtojustdisappear.”“Iwantyoutolistenwhen

Isaythis.”Herestedhischinonmyshoulder,andwhenIturnedmyheadtowardhis,hewaspeeringupatmethroughthicklashes.“Nothinginthisworldordownbelowisgoingtokeepmefromyou.Nothing,Layla.

That’sapromiseIwillneverbreak.”Adeep,powerfulemotion

stirredinsideme.“Iwillmakeyouthesamepromise.”Thosethicklashesswept

down,shieldinghiseyes.“Youwill?”“Yes.”AndImeantmy

nextwords.“I’mnotgoingtoletanythingkeepyoufrommeandthatincludesyourBoss.”

Rothchuckledasheliftedhishead,pausingtopressakissagainstthesideofmyneck.“Ilikeitwhenyougetallfeisty.”Hereturnedtomyhair,movingitbackintothethreesections.Severalmomentspassed.“WhenIwasinthepits,Ireallydidn’tthinkIwasgoingtogetoutofthere.IfiguredtheBosswouldeithernotcareenoughtopullmyhappyassoutofit

orwouldforget.”Ibitdownonmylipashe

spoke.Rothhadnevertalkedabouthistimeinthepitswithoutbeingsarcasticaboutit.“Ihonestlyhavenoidea

howlongIwasinthere.Timemovesdifferentlydownbelow,”hecontinued,twistingthesectionsofhairaroundeachother.“Itwasn’tpleasant.”Adrylaugh

crackedoutofhim.“Actually,itfreakingsucked,butyougotmethroughit.”Ittookamomentforhis

wordstosinkin.“How?”“Easy.Ithoughtaboutyou.

YouwereallIthoughtabout.”Hisvoicewasquietasmyheartsqueezedpainfully.“Ifocusedonthetimewespenttogether,andascrazyasitsounds,Ithoughtaboutyoubeing

topsidewithZayne.”Iwinced.Howwasthat

helpful?Secondslaterheanswered

myunspokenquestion.“Knowingthatyou’dbesafeandwouldeventuallybehappymadeitsomewhatmorebearable.AndIknow—Iknow—thatZaynewould’velaiddownhislifetoprotectyou.Probablystillwould.You’dbeokay.Soknowing

thathelpedwhenitgot...well,whenitgothard.”Alumpformedintheback

ofmythroat.“IwishIcouldtakeawaythetimeyou’vespentinthepits.”Hisknucklesbrushedalong

thecenterofmybackashecontinuedwiththebraidhewasmaking.“Youalreadyhave.”Thelumptripled.“AndI

wishyouneverhadto

sacrificeyourself.”“Iwouldn’tchangea

thing.”“Iknow,”Iwhispered,

closingmyeyesagain.Ittookmeamomenttofindtherightwords.“YouknowthatIcareaboutZaynedeeply.That’snevergoingtochange.Eventhoughrightnowhe’dprobablyratherpunt-kickmeintotrafficthantalktome,I’malwaysgoingtolove

him.”Pausing,Idrewinadeep

breath.“Itoldyouthisbefore.IloveZayne,butI’mnotinlovewithhim,andIdon’tknowifthatwould’veeverchanged.CouldIhavebeenwithhim?”Iraisedashoulder.“Yeah,Icould’vebeen,butitwouldneverbelikethis—likeitisbetweenyouandme.Idon’tknowhowlongIwould’vestayed

happywithZayneifheandIgottogetherandyounevercameback.Orifhewould’veremainedhappywithithimself,butatsomepoint,whatIfeltforhimwouldn’thavebeenenough.That’sunfairtohim.SoI’mgladthatknowingIhadsomeonehelpedyougetthroughthat,andtobehonest,thatblowsmymind,butIwantyoutoknowthatitwould’ve...it

would’veneverbeenenoughforme.”Rothreachedaroundme,

placinghishandabovemyheart.Heflattenedhispalm,andIliftedmyarm,foldingmyhandoverhis.Hisbreathwaswarmagainstmyshoulderwhenhespoke.“Iknow.”Drawingback,heflipped

thebraidovermyshoulder.“Alldone.”

Ireachedupandsmoothedmyfingersoverthethickbraid.“You’rereallygoodatthis.Betterthanme.Didyoupracticeonyourdemonfriends?”“Onlyonallmydolls.”IlaughedasRothtossed

thebrushaside.Itbouncedoffthefootofthebedandhitthefloor.Asecondlater,Furydashedoutfromunderthebedandpouncedonthe

brush.Itsblack-and-whitehairwasraisedanditsearswerepinnedback.Thekittengrabbedholdofthehandleofthebrush,andthendraggeditunderthebed.Ihadnoideawhatitplannedtodowithitunderthere.Twistingatthewaist,I

facedRoth.Oureyesmet.Hegrinned.ThenextbreathItookwasshaky.“Iloveyou.Justwantedtothrowthatout

there.”“Idesireyou.”Lowering

hishead,hislipsskatedupthesideofmyneck,tothesensitivespotbelowmyear.“Iwantyou.Ineedyou.”Henippedthefleshypartofmylobe,causingmetogasp.“AndIloveyou.”ThenextthingIknewI

wasonmybackandRothwassettlingoverme,andthoselittlenipswere

travelingdownmyneckandlower,anditwasn’ttoolongbeforealltheworkhe’ddoneonmyhairwenttocompletewasteinthemostgloriousofways.

***

Iwasstaringatmyreflectionagain.Myeyesstillseemedtoo

bigandmyfacewasflushed,

butthistimeIwasn’thalf-naked.Which,honesttoGod,seemedlikeamajorfeatconsidering—well,oncewecrossedintothatnewlevelofourrelationship,Rothreallywas...Myfaceburnedeven

brighterandIloweredmygazeasItuggedonthecollarofmysweater.Okay.Ineededtofocus.Lastnightandinthemiddleofthenight

andthismorningwereamazing,buttodaywasgoingtobeinsane.IwouldbegoingintoHell.Nervousnessdidn’teventouchwhatIwasfeeling,andIstillhadnoideahowIwasgoingtodistractRothsohewouldn’tknowwhatIwasplanning.HethoughtwewereheadingouttolookfortheLilin.He’dmentionedswingingbyanotherdemon-runclubin

thecity.WhileIwaskindofexcitedtoseethat,itwasnotgoingtohappentoday.AndIalsodidn’tknow

whatIwasgoingtodowhenIgotback—ifIgotback—becauseRothwasgoingbesomad.Bambishiftedonmyback,

flickinghertailalongtheleftsideofmyribs,comingclosetonudgingRobin.AssoonasI’dgottenupthismorning,

she’dplasteredherselfontome,whichhadn’tbeenapartoftheplan,butitwasn’tlikeIcouldpitchafitaboutherbeingonme.Rothwouldknowsomethingwasup,whichsucked,becausethelastthingIwantedtodowasputBambiinaprecariousposition.Shewaspracticallyour

kid.Twistingmyhairup,I

shovedamillionbobbypinsin,andthenleftthebathroom.Rothwasloungingagainstthewall,hislonglegscrossedattheankles,handsshovedintothepocketsofhisjeans.IsawhimandImight’veforgottenwhatIwasdoing.Rothwasstriking.Withhisblackhairfalling

intoambereyesandtheshirtclingingtoalltherightareas,hewasbreathtaking,butit

wasthatsmile,theonethatshowedoffhisdimplesandtransformedhisentirebeingwhenhelookedatmethat—thatownedme.Andhewassmilingatmelikethatnow.“Ilikeyourpants,”hesaid.Iglanceddown.Theywere

black.Leather.Isighed.“I’mneverallowingCaymantogoshoppingformeagain.”Hechuckledashepushed

offthewall.“Ihopeheshops

foryoufromnowon.”Walkingpastme,towardthedoor,heslidhishandovermyleather-cladlegs.“Oratleastkeepthese.”IrolledmyeyesasIturned

around.“Mmm.”Hisgazetraveled

overme.“Pleasekeepthem.”Laughing,Iplantedmy

handsonhisbackandshovedhimtowardthedoor.“Onlybecauseyouaskednicely.”

“Andbecauseyourasslookssumptuousinthem?”“Geez,”Ichokedout,

shakingmyheadasheclosedthedoorbehindus.Outinthehallway,he

drapedhisarmovermyshouldersandhauledmeclosetohisside.Westarteddownthehall.“Ithinkthat’savalidreason.”“I’msureyoudo.”Hishandmovedupand

downmyupperarmaswehitthestairwellandbeganthelong,longjourneydowntothelobby.“Howyourasslooksisaveryimportantthingwhenshoppingforpants,Shortie.”Ipressedmylipstogether

tokeepfromlaughing.“I’msuretherearethingsthatareevenmoreimportant.”Hescoffed.“Likewhat?”“Oh,Idon’tknow.How

aboutcomfort?”“Boring.”“Whataboutusefulness?”Hesentmealook.“There

isnothingmoreusefulthanleatherpants.They’llprotectyourasswhilemakingitlookfine.”Wewerenearingthefirst

floor.“Youhaveananswerforeverything,don’tyou?”“Yes.”“It’sannoying,”Imuttered,

glancingatthegray,cementdoor,andmypulsekickedup.“Youstillloveme,”he

replied.“True.”Isquaredmy

shouldersasRothopenedthedoor.Westeppedoutintothe

grandioselobbywithhisarmstillhangingovermyshoulders.LikethefirsttimeI’dseenthelobby,itwasawe-inspiring.Ididn’tgetto

seeitalot,becausewealwayscameinthroughtheparkinggarageorthebasementclubentranceandthenwestucktothestairwell.Anenormouschandelier

hunginthecenterofthelobby,castingbrightlightintoeverycorner,butitwasthemuralpaintedontheceilingthatreallydrewtheeye.Angels.Lotsofangelshoveringabove,engagedina

hard-corebattle,fightingoneanotherwithfieryswords.Somewerefallingthroughsudsywhiteclouds.Otherswereraisingtheirblades.Thedetailwasextraordinary,downtothered-orangeflamesandthegrimacesofpain.Eventhevirtuousglintintheireyeswasthere.Iquicklylookedaway

fromthepainting,unsettledbyitwhenbeforeI’djust

beenamused.Vintageleathercouches

wereeverywhere,andtheyweren’tempty.Peopleofallageswerescatteredabout,sittingaloneoringroups,talkingandlaughing.Somewerechattingonphones.Thescentofcoffeewasthickintheair.Toahuman,they’dalllooknormal,buttheireyesgaveoffweirdglints.Theyweren’texactly

people,notinthetechnicalsense.Afewgavemeaweird

look.Othersdownrightignoredme.One,ayoungwomandressedinsomekindofbustierIcouldeasilyseeCaymanpurchasing,stoodfromarecliner,herwideeyesglitteringasshehurriedacrossthelobby,disappearingdownahallway.Ihadnoideaifthathadto

dowithmeorwithRoth’spresence.Ireallydidn’tgetthedemondynamicswhenitcametoRoth,butnoneofthedemonsmillingaboutinthelobbycamenearus.AsIstartedtoturntoRoth,

Caymanappearedinthemiddleofthelobby,underthechandelier.Stiffening,Iwatchedhimswaggertowardus,hisfloralpinkandtealHawaiianshirtpossiblythe

gaudiestthingI’deverseen.“Okay.Iofficiallychange

myopiniononCaymanshoppingforyou,”Rothsaid.Isnickered.Caymanignoredthe

comments.“It’sagreatmorning,isn’tit?”hesaidbrightly,steppingtothesideofRoth.“Thesunisout,butthey’recallingforsnowtonight.Lotsofsnow.Somuchsnow—”

Thecrackjoltedme.Hehadmovedsofast,I

didn’trealizewhathe’ddoneuntilRoth’slegsfoldedandcollapsed.Heartleapingintomythroat,ItriedtograbRoth,buthewastooheavyandIendedupgoingdownonmyknees.Caymanhadsnapped

Roth’sneck.

fifteen

HORRORFILLEDMEasRoth’sheadfelltothesideatanawkwardangle.“OhmyGod!”Ishouted,lookingupatCayman.“Whatdidyoudo?Whatdidyou—?”“Weneededtodistract

him.”Hegesturedatthefloor.“He’sdistracted.Andyouhavenoideahowlong

I’vewantedtodothat.Letmehavemymoment.”Mymouthdroppedopen.Ademonwalkingacross

thelobbycarryingcoffeeinwhiteto-gocupspivotedonherpointyblackheel.“Idon’twantanypartofthis,”shesaid,hurryingaway.MyhandsshookasI

glanceddownatastillRoth.Icouldn’tbreathe,andasIstood,myskinstartedto

harden,theskinoneithersideofmyspinetingled.“Whoa.”Caymanthrewup

hishands.“Simmerdown,crouchingdemon,hiddenWarden.He’sfine.Look,ifhewasseriouslyindanger,Bambiwouldbeoffyouintwoseconds.He’sgoingtowakeupinacoupleofminutes,beatthecrapoutofme,realizeyou’regone,andwhenIsnaphisneckagainto

stophimfromgoingafteryou,we’regoingtorinseandrepeat,soplease—pleasedon’ttakeforever.”Myhearthadn’tslowed

down.“Ifhe’shurt—”“He’snot,”ademonfrom

thecouchsaid,hisfaceashenashestaredatRoth.“Youcan’tkillthePrincethatwayandwhenhewakesup—”“Yeah,he’sgoingtobe

pissed.”Caymansighed.

“Ididn’tevengettosaygoodbyetohim,Cayman.”Isuckedinashallowbreath.“WhatifI—?”“Don’tfinishthatsentence.

Youwillbeback.Layla,youneedtogetamoveonit.Don’tletthebutt-whuppingI’mgoingtoreceivebeallinvain.Youneedtogo.”Hepointedbehindme,andIlookedbacktowardthegold-paintedelevators.

Ineededtogo.Heartpounding,Ikneltand

brushedmylipsalongRoth’scheekasIsmoothedmyhandoverhishead,brushinghishairbackfromhisface.Ididn’twanttoleavehim.Iwantedtositthereuntilhiseyesopened,butIcouldn’t.“Iloveyou,”Iwhispered,

voicechokedasIcurledmyrighthandintoafist.Standing,Iturnedto

Caymanandcockedbackmyarm,punchinghimrightinthestomachashardasIcould.Severaldemonsgasped.“Omph,”hegrunted,

doublingoverandclaspinghisstomach.“SweetMosesinmolasses.”Feelingaweebitbetter

aboutthesituation,Iforcedmyselftopivotaroundandwalktowardtheelevator.I

didn’tlookback,becauseifIdid,Iwasn’tsureIwouldkeepwalking.IlikedtothinkthatIwould’ve,thatIwould’verecognizedthatthissituationwasbiggerthanmeandRoth,butIwasn’tsureifIwasthatgoodaperson,thatselfless.Thegoldelevatorswaited

formeandIsmackedtheoneroundbuttononthepanelalittleharderthannecessary.

Withasoft,almost-human-soundinggroan,thedoorsslidopen.Isteppedinside,turningaroundtofacethehall.Caymanappearedinfront

oftheelevators,rubbinghisstomach.“Becareful,Layla.Remember,nothinginHelliswhatitseems.”BeforeIcouldrespond,the

doorssealedshutandtheelevatorjerkedinto

movement.Isteppedback,swallowinghardasitstartedaslowdescentdown.Therewasnomusic,noinsidepanelsontheelevator,andthedoorseemedtobemadeofsomekindofweirdmaterial.Ibrushedmyfingersalongtheinsideofthedoorandthenjerkedmyhandbackwithastartledgasp.Itfeltlike...likeskin.Mystomachcramped,and

IthoughtImighthurlasitrippled.Astrangeorangeyglow

reflectedoffthewallsoftheelevator.Liftingmygazetotheceiling,Ismackedmyhandovermymouth.Therewasn’treallya

ceilingaboveme.Aroofofflamesrolled,

burningbright,lickingalongtheedgesofthewalls.MyeyeswidenedasIexpectedit

toengulftheentireelevator,buttheflamesdidn’tspread.Theelevatorjoltedandthatslowdescentspedup.Iwasknockedbackagainst

thewall.Throwingmyhandsout,Igrippedtherailastheelevatorsuddenlydroppedatarapidclip.Heartthumping,myknucklesachedfromhowtightlyIwasgrippingthepieceofmetal.Theelevatorfeltlikeitwasgoingtosplit

apart.Withoutwarning,itjerked

toastop,throwingmeoffbalance.Mykneescrackedoffthefloor,thepaindullcomparedtothesuddendizzinessseizingme.Ittookseveralmomentsforthewoozinesstosubside,andIrealizedthen,theelevatorhadstoppedmoving.Pushingmyselfup,I’djust

straightenedwhenthe

elevatordoorspartedsoftly.MymouthdroppedopenasIgotmyfirstglimpseof...Hell?Notatall.Whatlaybeyondtheopen

elevatordoorswaswhitewalls—awhitefloor,awhiteceiling.Shinywhite.Pristine.Myfeetcarriedmeoutoftheelevator,intoawideandvastcircularlobbywithhundredsifnotthousandsofhallways.Therewasmusicplaying.

Horrible,jauntylobbymusic;thekindthatwoulddriveyoucrazyifyouhadtolistentoitforlongerthanfiveminutes.Icouldn’tbelievewhatIwasseeing.Hellhadalobby.Nothingwasguardingthe

lobby.Nodemonswaitedtopounceonme,andthatsurprisedme.Thenagain,CaymanhadwarnedmethatnothinginHellwaswhatitseemed.MaybeIjust

couldn’tseethedemons.AsIwheeledaround,searchingforhiddendangers,Irealizedthereweregoldplacardsonthewallsneareachhallway,displayingthenamesof...“Holycrap,”Iwhispered.Namesofallthedemons

wereclearlyetchedintothegoldplacards.SomeIdidn’trecognize.Othersmademystomachtwistandthendrop.ABADDON.VINE.

MOLOCH.BAEL.Thenameswentonandon.StraightacrossfromtheelevatorwasthehallwaylabeledTHEBOSSandbesideitwasonethatcaughtmybreath.ASTAROTH.Ialmoststartedtowardit,

becausesomethinginsideofmewantedtoseehowRothreallylivedwhenhewasdownhere,butIstoppedmyself.Ididn’thavetimefor

this.Acrossfromthosenames

wasTHEPITS.Andthere,threedownfromthat,wasthenameI’dbeenlookingfor:GRIM.Takingadeep,fortifying

breath,IwalkedbrisklytowardthehallbearingGrim’snameandthendownthelong,brightlylit,relativelycooltunnel.Therewerenowindows.Noscents

tospeakof.Theairwasstagnantbutclean,andstill,thehairsallovermybodybegantorise.Ireachedadoublesetof

windowlessdoorsandbeforeIcoulddoanything,theyopenedsilently,revealingaworldI’dneverseenbeforeasablastofoppressiveheatsmackedintome.Stoppinganinchfromthe

exit,Ibitdownonmylip.

This...thiswaswhatI’dexpected.Inaway.Theskybeyondthehallwasaburntred.Therewerenoclouds.Nosunormoon.Justadeep,orangeyredthatseemedtohavenosource.ThescentofsulfurandsomethingIcouldn’tquitemakeoutturnedmystomach.Aroadmadeofsomekind

ofstoneseparatedtall,ash-coloredbuildings.Theyrose

likeskyscrapers,reachingintothatstrangesky,theirwindowsdarkwithnosignoflifeinsidethem.Mygazetrackedovertheformidable,intimidatingbuildingstothemassivestructureattheendoftheroad,severalcityblocksaway.Itwasthelargestofallthebuildings,butdesignedlikesomethingstraightoutoftheMiddleAges.Twinsteeplesrose

fromeithersideofthepitchroof,anditgavetheimpressionthatitwasmoreofafortressthanahome.SortoflikethecompoundI’dgrownupin.Iswallowedhard,knowing

thatwaswhereIwasgoingtohavetogo,becauseofcourse,itwasn’tlikeGrimcouldliveinacutehousewithapicketfenceorsomething.Ohno,ithadtobetheLordofthe

Rings-typecastleallthewaydownthere.KnowingIdidn’thavealot

oftimeandthattimeingeneralworkedvastlydifferentdownhere,Ipulledupmybig-girlundiesandsteppedoutofthehallway.Ithappenedimmediately.Withoutanywarning,a

shiverrippledacrossmyskinandIfeltBambiandRobinleavemybody.Panicked,I

triedtostopthem,becauseIwasn’tsureifRobinwasreadyforthat,buttherewasnocallingthemback.Twoshadowsdriftedout

fromunderneathmyshirt,formingtwoirregularshapedcircles.Theytrembled,andthendroppedtothestoneroadway,spillingintoamilliontinyballsthatshottogether.Theinkyblackballsroseintotheair,butthey

didn’tdroptothegroundliketheynormallywould.Thedotsspunandspun

untilathickshadowformed.Beforeme,asmymouthhungopen,legsformed,alongwithtorsosandarmsandheads.Forasecond,theyweretwopeople-shapedpoolsofblackoil,andthen,withinaheartbeat,themurkinessgavewaytodetail.Aboyandagirlstoodin

frontofme.Myjawwasstartingto

achefromhowlongIwasgaping,butIcouldn’tsnapmymouthshut.Theyweren’tlittleboysandgirls.Actually,theylookedslightlyolderthanme,buttheyweredefinitelyofthemaleandfemalehumanoidvariety.Theguywastalland

slender,withauburnhairthatfellintocrimson-colored

eyes.Shirtless,hewasallwirygrace.Afinedustingofreddishhaircoveredhisbareskin.Standingnexttohimwasawomanwithhairadeepred,nearlymatchinghereyes.Dressedinablacktanktopandjeans,shealmostlookednormal.Almost.Patchesofherskinweren’texactly...skin.Moreliketinyscalesbreakingthrough,allsovery...snake-like.

OhmyGod.Thewomangrinned

brightly.“Hey,girl,hey.”“Hey,”Isaidslowly,

glancingbetweenthetwo.“Um...”Raisinghischinina

greeting,theguy’snosetwitchedandthen...thenhisearsdidthesame.“Hi.”OhmyGod.“Isoknewyouwereupto

shenanigans,andIwas

right!”Turningtotheguy,thegirlraisedherhand,flippinghimoff.“Toldyouso.Toldyouthatshewasgoingtocomehere.SoyoushouldbegladI’mhere,soyoudon’tgeteatenbydragons.Andyes,therearedragonshere.AndnotasniceasThumper,either.”“You’rejustsosmart,”he

replieddrily.“Damntootin’.”Shespun

towardme.“He’snotveryhelpfulrightnow,sincehe’slikenewtoallofthis.Ineededtocomealong.”“You...Youare...”Ialmost

couldn’tbringmyselftosayit.“You’reBambi.”Hopping,sheclappedher

handstogether.“Andyou’reLayla.Andhe’sDumbass.”Dumbasssighed.“I’m

Robin.Youknow,yourrealfamiliar.Nottheparasitewho

needstogobacktoDaddy.”Bambisnorted.“How

aboutyougobacktoyourself.Huh?Howaboutthat?”Thatdidn’tevenmake

sense,butthefactthatIwasstaringatBambiandRobinandtheylookedlikehumansdidn’tmakesense,either.“Soyoutwo...Thisiswhatyoureallylooklike?”Shenodded.“Yep.When

wecan,whichtragicallyisn’tveryoften.Butwecantalktooneanothereveninouranimalforms.Sortoftelepathically.”Shepouted.“Robinhereisabore.He’sreallyjustsleptthiswholetime.”Hescowledinher

direction.“BecauseIneededtogetchargedup.”“Whatever,”shequipped.

“Imissmyboys.Nitroand

FuryandThor.They’refun.Thumperislikeyou.Anotherborewhojustsleepsallthetime,andwhenhedoesn’t,he’sagrumpytool.”IblinkedslowlyasBambi

raisedherarmsaboveherhead,stretching.Hertoprose,flashingatautstomach,anditsuddenlyhitmethatRothhadachickonhim.Rothseriouslyhadachickalloverhim,allthetime!Onlotsof

partsofhisbody.AndIhadadudeonmystomach!RothandCaymanhad

failedtomentionthislittledetailtome.Anugly,insidiousfeeling

creptintomeandIcouldn’tstopmyselffromsaying,“YouareonRoth.”“Um,yeah.Andsometimes

I’monyou.Duh.”Shefrowned.“Didyouhurtyourheadorsomething?”

Okay.Isqueezedmyeyesshutbriefly.Thejealousywasridiculous.Icouldn’tbejealousoverBambi,whomightbeahotgirlbutalsowasasnakemostofthetime—alegit,giantsnakethatategrossthings.Besides,Ihadadudeon

me—“OhmyGod,”Igroaned,lookingatRobin.“Youwereonmelastnight.Youwereonme—”

“Themomentyouallstartedlosingclothes,Itotallycheckedout.”Heraisedhishands,wrinklinghisnose.“Didnotwanttoseeanyofthat.Didn’tfeelanyofthat.”“I...”Therewerenowords.“Look,”Bambisaid,“for

mostofthetimewe’reonyou,wearen’tpayingattentiontowhatyou’redoing.Well,nottrue.WhenyouwerewithZayne,Iwas

sopayingattention.”Ipinchedthebridgeofmy

nose.“Sothekittens?They...”“Theyarehot.Ohmygolly

God,they’retriplets,”Bambisaid,smackingmyarmwithenoughforcetostaggerme.“Triplets,Layla.Thereareactuallythreeofthem.”“Igotthat.”Irubbedmy

stingingarm.“Thanks.”Robinfoldedhisarmsas

hecasthisgazetotheorangeysky.“Ihaveafeelingweshouldnotbehere.”“Thisisunspeakably

weird,”Imuttered,tryingtograspthefactthatIwastalkingtothefamiliars.Bambiflippedthatcrimson

hairoverhershoulder.“Ithinkit’sfantasticallydelightful.”Prancingforward,shestuckouthertongueinRobin’sdirection.Eveninher

humanform,thetonguewasstillforked.“Butyouknowwhat’snotdelightful?Yourtasteinmen.Iwasreallyhopingyou’dhookupwithZayne.Helookedyummy.”“You’vealreadyeatenone

Warden—”“Honey,that’snotthekind

ofeatingI’mthinkingofwhenIclapeyesonthatbig,blondballofsweet,sweetloving.”

MyeyeswidenedasRobinrolledhis.“I’m...uh,sorrytodisappointyou?”BambicontinuedasifI

hadn’tspoken.“IlikeditwhenhewouldpetmeandIthinkyoulikedit,too,”shesaid,andmyfacewentupinflames,becauseIknewexactlythemomentshewasreferringto.“ButIwonderhowhe’dfeelifheknewwhatpartofmehewas

actuallyfeelingup.Itwasn’tmyneck.”“That’sdisgusting,”Robin

said.Shesnickered.“Itwas

amazing.”Okay.IknewIneededto

focusontheimportantstuff,butIwasstillstuckonthefacttheywerehere.“Howisthispossible?”Iasked.Bambiopenedhermouth,

butitwasamale’svoice

frombehindmethatanswered.“Ah,spokenlikeatruenewcomer.Allowmetoenlightenyou,younginnocent.WheneverfamiliarsareinHell,theyautomaticallytakethisform.Obviously,noonethoughttotellyou,becausetheybelieveditwouldbeanonissue.”Spinningaround,Ifought

theurgetobackup.Instinct

demandedthatImovefar,farawayfromthetallmanwhostoodinfrontofthedoorsleadingtothehallway.Tallreallydidn’tdohimjustice.Hehadtobenearsevenfeetinheight.Aruggedlyhandsomeman,ifdarkbeardsandhard,glacialeyeswereyourkindofthing.“Theycanalsotakethis

formtopside,”hecontinued.Bambigiggledfrombehind

me.“Astarothletsmedothat.Notoften.Butwhenhedoes,it’salwaysfun.Iwishhewoulddoitmoreoften.”Themanarchedabrow.

“Probablynotthewisestofdecisions.Yousee,”headded,directinghisattentiontomeagain,“thefamiliarshaveverylittleimpulsecontrolandtheydonotoperatebyanyhumanmoralcompass.”

“Damnskippywedon’t,”Bambiagreed.“YouandIneedtotalk,”

themantoldme,raisinghishand.Hesnappedhisfingers,andIfeltmorethansawthatthefamiliarsweregone.“Don’tworry.They’refine.Well,theywillbeprovidedtheystayawayfromthepitsandanydemonwhomaybeabitangrywiththePrince,butI’msurethosetwowillcause

moretroublethananytroublethatcanfindthem.Restassuredtheywillbereturnedtoyouonceyouleave.”Myeyeswidenedasmy

heartratekickedup.Isawnoauraaroundtheman,butifIhad,Iimagineditwouldbedarkandvast.Powerradiatedoutfromhim,thesupremekind.Hehadn’tmadeonemovetowardme,butIknewwithinasecond,hecouldend

me.Hecouldendusall.“Iknewyouwouldcome,”

hecontinued,hislipscurvingupslightlybehindthebeard.“Ievenhastenedmyarrivalfromthepearlygatesinanticipationofthismoment.Buthaveyounothingtosay,child?Afterall,youwantedtoseeme.AndhereIam.”ThiswasGrim—theGrim

Reaper.

sixteen

HOLYCANOLAOILinmyface,Iwasdoingmybestnottospazout,butthiswastheGrimReaper,andhehadbeenexpectingme.Ofcoursehehadbeen,becausehewaswhohewas,andheprobablysaweverything.Whichwasawkwardto

thinkabout.

Atremorofuneasecoursedthroughmeasamillionquestionssprangforth,onesIknewbetterthantoaskhim.ButIwantedto.Iwantedtoknowifhereallywastheangelofdeath.IfhecouldtakemetoSamnow?IfheknewLilith?IfhesawwhereElijahhadgone,aftertheLilinhadkilledhim?Andwhataboutallthoseotherpoorpeople?Thequestions

keptburstingfree,andittookeverythinginmetoremainsilent.Grimsmiledbehindthe

trimmedbeard.“ThePrinceisgoingtobeveryupsetwithyouwhenyoureturn.”“Yeah.”Therewasno

denyingthat.IjusthopedIwouldreturn.Hissmilespreadbutdid

notreachhiseyesorsoftenhisface.Frankly,itmadehim

morecreepy.“EspeciallyconsideringI’veblockedanyentranceintoHell.Hecannotcomeforyou.Ididnotwanttobeinterrupted—weneedourtimetogether,andyes,Ihavethatkindofpowerandthensome.”Myheartturnedover

heavilyasmymouthdried.Ourtimetogethergavemetheheebie-jeebies.Icouldn’tgoback,though.“Ihadto

come.Ihadto—”“Iknowwhyyou’rehere,

butIdon’twanttotalkaboutthat.”Hestartedtowalkpastme,towardthefortress.“Notyet.”Iturnedtofollowhim.

“But—”“Ifyouwerewise,you

wouldnotquestionme.Pleasetellmeyouarewise.”Chagrined,Iheldback

whatIreallywantedtosay.“I

liketothinkIam.”“Thenyouwillwalkwith

me,”herepliedwithmockcourtesy,tossingthewordsoverhisshoulder.“AndyouwilltalkwithmeaboutwhatIwanttotalkabout.”IhadnoideawhatGrim

couldwanttotalkaboutwithmethatdidn’thavetodowithSam,butIhurriedtocatchupwithhim.“That’sasmartgirl,”he

murmuredashewalkeddownthecenteroftheemptyroad,hishandsshovedintothepocketsofhistrousers.Thebuildingssurroundinguswerequiet.“Pity,though,thatyou’renotveryobservant.”Pressingmylipstogether

tokeepmyselffromsayingsomethingIwassuretoregret,Ifocusedonthestonesintheroad.Theytoohadareddishtonetothem.

“Forexample,whatdoyouthinkyouknowaboutyourmother?”Grimasked,startlingme.“Yes,Lilith.That’swhatIwanttotalkabout.Didyouknow,child,thatLilithisnotademon?Well,notexactly?”Foramoment,Icouldn’t

speak.“Sheisademon.Everyonesays—”“Everyonecansay

whateverthey’dliketosay,

butthatdoesnotmeantheyarecorrect,andthetruthissometimeslostintranslationwhenthefactsarenotunderstood,”hereplied,thecornersofhislipstippingup.“Andthetruthis,thefactsare,thatLilithisnotmerelyademon.”Wepassedahut-type

building,smushedbetweenthetaller,fiercerskyscrapers.Outofthecornerofmyeye,I

thoughtIsawmovementinthehovel’swindow,butwhenIlooked,Isawnothing.“I...Idon’tunderstand.”“Ihaveafeelingyou

understandverylittle.”Hedeliveredtheinsultquitesmoothly.“YouknowLilith’sbackground,correct?ShewaskickedoutofEdenbecauseshewas,well,demanding.Fromthere,shecoupledwithdemons,andoutofthatshe

createdawholenewbreedofthem—butnoneofthathappenedimmediately.Ohno.Yousee,Lilith’splighthadgainedherthesympathyofaverypowerfulbeing.Shebecame...friendswiththeunlikelyally,andwhenEdenfellapartandallitsformerinhabitantswerestrippedoftheirimmortalityduetosin,sowasLilith.Andhernewfriend,well,thatbeingdid

notfeelitwasrightthatLilithwouldbe...punishedyetagain.”“IthinkIcanguesswho

thatbeingwas,”Isaid,hopinghedidn’tknockmeintothenextcenturyfortakingastabatit.“TheBoss?”“Correct.Atthetime,they

weretwopeasinaratherdisturbedpod.TheBosshadn’tcreatedanydemons

beforemeetingLilithandhadnoideahowitwasdone,buttheBossrefusedtoallowLilithtodieamortaldeath.WhoknowsiftheBosshadarealfondnessforLilithorsimplydidthisasawayof...ofgivingthebigguyintheskythemiddlefingeroncemore.Thewhyofitalldoesn’treallymatterintheend.“TheBossdiscoveredthat

thebloodofanoriginalangelthathadfallen,ifingested,grantedimmortalityamongotherthings.ThatbloodwasgiventoLilithandherimmortalitywasrestored.”HepausedwhileIprocessedthatnewknowledge.“I’msuretheBossregretsthatgiftnow,buthindsightisuseless.”Hesmiledbroadlyaswe

approachedanarrowbridge

builtwiththesamestonewewalkedupon.Thescentofsulfurandmetalgrewstronger.“SoLilith...shereallyisn’t

ademonthen.Shewas,well,whateverthefirstpeoplewere,thenmademortal,andthengiventhebloodofafallenangel.”Myfrowngrew.“Yeah,that...Whatintheworldisshethen?”Oneshoulderroseashe

glanceddownatme.“Whatintheworldareyou?”Acoldchillsnakeddown

myspinedespitethestifling,acidicair.“IguessIdon’treallyknow.”“It’sinterestinghownature

alwaystakescareofitsown,developingachecksandbalancesystem,itsownLawofBalance.Despitehavingherimmortalityrestoredtoher,Lilithhadoneweakness,

basicallyanoffswitch.Ifsheweretodeliverachildnaturally,ifanythinghappenedtothatchild,itwouldendher.Bygivinglifetoyou,sheultimatelysetintomotiontheonlytrueweaponthatcouldkillher.Nature.That’sthetruebitch.”Myeyeswidened.Then

thatmeant...whenIdied,sowouldLilith?Iwasheroffswitch.Wow.

“Tobehonest,Ineverunderstoodwhyshedecidedtotaketheriskofcreatingyou.Nooffense.”“Nonetaken,”Imuttered.

“Maybeshedidn’tknowaboutthe...offswitch?”“Oh,I’msuresheknew.

HerarrogancerivalsthatoftheBoss,”hereplied,andIstiffened,halfexpectingtheBosstoappearinfrontofustomakeuspayforhisinsult.

“Shethoughtthatherchildwouldbejustlikeher—traitorous,obsessedwithpowerandcontrol.Anditwasadeviousplan.FornicatingwithaWarden,leavingthechildtoberaisedamongtheenemyinordertoultimatelyusurptheWardensandpossiblyeventheBoss.Lilithwantedtheworldsinceshefeltitallhadbeentakenfromherwhenshewasexiled

fromEden.Itdidnotmatterthatshehadbeengrantedimmortalityanewandcouldhavefoundsomesenseofpeace.Shewantedrevengeagainstallofmankind—alwaysdidandalwayswill.Birthingyouwasadeviousplan,butultimatelyafailedendeavor—foryouarenotlikeher.Notinthatway.”“No,”Iwhispered,

steppingontothebridge.I

didn’tknowhowIfelttohaveitconfirmedthattoLilith—mymother—Iwasnothingmorethanatool,aweaponinanever-endingwar.Angeranddisappointmentroiledtogether,andIforcedoutaroughlaugh.WhatIhadmeanttoLilithcouldn’tmatternow.Ithadn’tmatteredbefore.“I’mnotlikeher.”

“ButyouarealsonotliketheWardens,orsoyouthink.”Hechuckledsoftly,stoppingtogazeoverthestonewallofthebridge,downtotheriverbelow.Andwhatariveritwas.Adeepred,theriver

bubbledandfoamedwithsludge,andIhadafeelingthatwaswherethenastyscentwascomingfrom.Ididn’twanttoknowwhatthe

riveractuallyconsistedof,butitlookedchunky,soIdoubteditwaswater.“I’mgoingtotellyoua

littlestory,onethatyoushouldpayverycloseattentionto.”Iwasn’tsureIcould

handleanotherstory,butIforcedmyselftofocus.Removinghishandsfrom

hispockets,helightlyplacedthemonthewall.“Whenthe

angelsweresenttoenlightenman,theyfailedinthemostgloriousway.Theysuccumbedtoevilandtemptation,becamegluttonouswithfoodanddrink.Theyfornicated.”Pausingtogrin,heglancedatme.“Andthereweremanyfailures,Layla.Somanythatthebigguyintheskyknewhehadamajorproblemonhishands.Theseangelswere

powerful,createdafterhisownvirtues,andtheywerecorrupt.Theycouldundoeverythinghecreated,sotheyweretobedealtwith,punishedbytheAlphas.”Lostinapartofhistory

thathadneverbeenwillinglysharedorspokenof,IwassilentasIlistened.Iwasalsotryingnottobreathetoodeeply,becausethestenchwasclosetoknockingme

out.“Someofthosethatfell,

theoriginalangelssenttoman,escapedpunishmentbydescendingintoHell.TheBosswelcomedthemwithopenarms.Theyareyourfallen,theoriginalsthatotherdemonsfear.Therearethosethatrefertothemasdemons,buttheyarenotandhaveneverbeencreatedbytheBossorspawnedbyanother

demon.Itwouldbewisetorememberwheretheycamefrom,”heexplained,tiltinghischinup.Hisshoulderstensedundertheplainwhiteshirthewore.“Thentherewerethosewhofellwhotooktheirpunishment,thosepiouscreatureswhorealizedthattheywereatfaultandwhoselovefortheircreatorwasgreaterthantheirdesireforfreedom.Andtheywere

punished.Doyouknowhow,Layla?”Mynamedriftedoffhis

lipslikeanarcticblastandIshivered.“No.”Hetwistedtowardme,

leaningagainstthewallwithaconfidenceinthecraftsmanshipIdidnotshare.“Theywereturnedtostone.”Igaspedasunderstanding

flooredme.“Youseemymeaning.”

Hiseyesglitteredcoldly.“Thosewhofellandacceptedtheirpunishmentwereturnedtostone—andweregivenhorrifying,bestialappearancesnotjusttoremindmankindthatevilexisted,buttoserveasatangiblelessontothosewhoshouldbeabovetemptationthattheytoocanfallfromgrace.”“Whoa.”Myheadspun.

TheWardensoriginallywereangelsthathadfallen?SuddenlywhatRothtauntinglycalledthem—heavenlyrejects—madesense.He’dknown,buthadalwayssaidithadn’tbeenhisstorytotell.“Formanycenturies,those

penitentfallenremainedentombed—untiltheAlphaswokethemtocombattherapidlyexpandingdemon

populationandtheLilinwhowerecreatedsomanycenturiesago,”Grimwenton,turninghisgazebacktotheriver.“Theydidn’twakeallofthem,Layla.Somestillslumber.Evenyourclanwouldn’tknowthat,butthosewhosesinsweremostoffensivearethosestilltrappedintheirpunishment.”“God,”Ibreathed,thinking

ofallthegargoylesadorning

thebuildingsjustinDCalone.ThiswholetimeI’dbelievedmanhadsimplycarvedthem.“Thosewhowere

awakenedbecamethefirstWardens,buttheirpunishmenthadchangedthem.Thatiswhytheyhavetwoforms,anditisalsowhy,intheirtrueform,theyresembletheverycreaturestheyarechargedwith

dispatching.Ironic,isn’tit?”Hesmiledagain.“Iamsureyourclanhasn’tforgottentheirtruehistory,buttheywouldloveto,wouldn’tthey?TheonlybeingsmorearrogantthantheAlphaswouldbetheWardens.”TherewasanotherthingI

couldn’tdeny.“Thisisallfascinating,but—”“WhyamItellingyouthis,

thehistoryofyourmother

andtheracethatraisedyouastheirown?Youwantsomethingfromme,butIwantyoutounderstandwhatyouare.”Hepushedawayfromthewall,facingmefromamerefootaway.“Youstandbeforeme,coweringlikeahelplessgirl.”Thehairswerestanding

alongthebackofmyneckagain.“That’sbecauseyouare...youaretheGrim—”

“IknowwhatIam.AtleastIcansaythat.Youcan’t.”“Yeah,Igetthat,but—”Hishandsnappedout,

wrappingaroundmythroat.I’dtakenmylastbreathbeforeIknewit.PanicfloodedmeasIreachedup,grippingthemassivehand.Iwilledmybodytoshift,butGrimsmiledasheliftedmeclearoffmyfeet.“Youcan’tshift.Nothere.

Caymandidnottellyouthat?Foolishdemon,hetendstoleaveoutimportantinformation.You’renotfromthisrealm,child,thereforeyoucannottakeyourtrueformhere,”hesaid,liftingmeevenhigher.“Icouldsnapyourneckinasecondanddoyouknowwhatwouldhappen?”Iwoulddie.Wasn’tlikeIcouldsaythat

sinceIwasbusytryingtoconservewhateveroxygenwasleftinmylungs,whichwasn’tmuch.Mychestwasburning,myheartpoundingfiercely.“Itwouldhurt.Itwould

knockyouout,butno,youwouldnotdie,”hecontinued,asifhecouldreadmythoughts.“Frankly,theonlythingthatwillkillyouisanirondaggertotheheartorif

someonecutsoffyourhead.”Hiswordswerebreakingthroughtheburninghaze,buttheymadelittlesense.“Fire?Nope.Fallingfromahundredstories?Itcannotkillyou.Gutted?No.Onceyouunderstandthat,youwillbestrongerandfiercerthananyWardentowalktopside,andevenUpperLeveldemonswillfleeyourpresence.”Suddenlyhereleasedhis

holdonme.Ihitthebridge,staggeringintothestonewall.Itcrumbledlikeashundermyweight,fallingintotheteemingwaterbelow.Iteeteredontheedge,armsflailing.Hecaughtmebythearm,

haulingmeawayfromtheedgeandagainsthischest.Thefullbodycontactwaslikecuddlinguptoasnowman—apsychotic

snowman.Myskinchilled,andasIexhaledroughly,thendraggedinairinhugegulps,amistycloudformedinfrontofmylips.“NowdoyouseewhatI’ve

beentryingtoshowyou,thepurposeofallmystories?Youarenotademon.Youhaveneverbeenademon,yousillygirl.”

seventeen

YOU’RENOTAdemon.Istoppedstrugglingforair

asIstaredintohiscoldeyes.Whathe’dtoldmeaboutLilithandtheWardenshadrockedme,butnowIwasstruckstupidbypuredisbelief.“Thatdoesn’tmakesense,”Igaspedout.“Why?Becauseyourclan

believesyoutobeone?BecausethePrincehasneversaiddifferently?That’swhathe’sbeentoldbytheBoss,becauseiftheUpperLeveldemonsknewwhattheBosshaddoneforLilithallthoseyearsago,theywouldnotbehappy.NodemonlikestheideathattheBosshasplayedfavoritesandstilldoes.ThePrincehadnoreasontobelievedifferently.Toallof

them,youfeellikeademon,onlybecauseyoufeellikeanoriginalfallenangel.”Hisgripwastight,borderingoncruel.“Ifyoupaidattentiontomystory,youcanfollowwhereI’mgoingwiththis.”Partsofmybodywere

frozenfromcontactwithhim,soIreallywasn’tfollowingjackrightnow.Grimloweredhishead,and

Istiffenedashismouth

stoppedamereinchfrommine.“YouwerepartWardenandpartwhatevertheHellLilithiswhenyouwereborn,whichmakesyousomethingentirelydifferent.TheWardenbloodinyouweakenedwhateverLilithpassedon.Youwereasmortalasanyofthem,notnearlyaspowerful,withyouronlygiftadeadlykiss,butthosedamnwitches...”He

laughed,andhisicybreathcoastedovermylips,causingmetoshudder.“Thosewhoworshipyourmother.Theygaveyousomethingtodrink,didtheynot,followingyourstabbingandthePrince’sheroicrescue?Whiskingyououtofmygraspquiteefficiently.Didn’tthey?”“Yes,”Igrittedout.“We

didn’tknowwhatitwas.Rothdidn’tknow—”

“Butcanyouguesswhatitisnow?Proveyou’vebeenpayingattentiontomylittlehistorylesson?”Bloodthunderedinmy

head,andIknewwherehewasgoingwiththis,butIcouldn’tbelieveit—theideathatI’dbeengivenbloodfromoneoftheoriginalfallenangels.Firstoff,thatwasfreakinggross.Secondly,I...“Whywouldtheydothat?

Howdidtheyhaveit?”“That’sforthemto

answer.”Hislasheslowered,shieldinghiseyes.“Butwhattheydid—itzeroedoutwhateverWardenbloodyouhadinyou.Now...youaresomethingelseentirely.”IthoughtabouthowZayne

andDanikahadsaidthatIfeltlikeanUpperLeveldemon,butthatwasbeforethewitcheshadgivenme

that...thatbrew.Butitallstartedtoconnecttogether.Rothwaspartlyright.Iwasstilltransforming,andsinceIwasn’twhatanyoneexpectedmetobe,whattheWardensweresensingcould’vebeenwhateverIwasmaturinginto.PlusademonhadrunfrommesinceI’ddrunkthatstuff,andIdidlookdifferent.“OhmyGod,”Iwhispered,

forgettingwhowasholding

me.“That’swhyIhavefeathersinmywings.”Hismouthtwitched.

“Amongotherthings.”“I’m...I’mimmortal?”Heletgoofmeand

steppedback,butIwassoflooredthatIbarelyregisteredthewarmthslowlycreepingbackintome.“AsimmortalasanythingthatcanonlybekilledthosetwowaysImentionedbefore.The

momentyouconsumedthebloodoftheoriginals,youbecamewhattheAlphaswouldcallanabomination.Butwhattheyfailtoappreciateisthatyoualonecanultimatelystopwhatiscoming.”Stunnedbyeverythinghe’d

said,Iraisedashakyhand,pushingthehairthathadcomeloosebackfrommyface.I’dcomeheretoretrieve

Sam’ssoulandendedupdiscoveringthateverythingIthoughtI’dknownaboutmylife,myidentity,hadbeenwrong—again.Partofmedidn’tknowwhattothinkaboutthat.Theotherpartwasbubblingwithsweetawareness.Incrediblyselfish,sure.ButtherewouldbenowalkersinmyfuturewhileRothremainedageless.“YouarelikeLilith—

utterlyunique.Somethingthatshouldnotexistbutdoes.So,too,istheLilin.Itshouldnotexist,butyou...youcanstopit.”Mygazetrackedtohimas

Iloweredmyhand.“Iwillstopit.”“Really?”Heinclinedhis

head.“Becauseallyou’vedonesincetheLilinrevealeditselfismournyourfriend,pout,indulgeinrelationship

dramaIwouldnormallyonlyexpectfromapitifulhumanteenagerandsurrenderyourchastity.”Ijerkedback,arigidness

takingovermymuscles.“What?”“IthinkIspokeclearly.”

Hestalkedtowardme,andthistime,Ididn’tbackup,thoughmythroatstillachedfromthelasttimeIheldmyground.“Youneedtostopthe

Lilin,buttheonlythingyou’vereallyaccomplishedisthelossofyourvirginity.Still,Isupposecongratulationsareinorder.Itisamilestone,afterall.PleasepassmygoodtidingstothePrince.”Embarrassedandfurious,I

feltmymouthdropopen.“That’snottrue!”“It’snot?”Grimtippedhis

headbackandlaughed

darkly.“Tellme,whatelsehaveyoumanaged?”Iopenedmymouth,ready

tofireoffeverythingthatI’d—thatwe’dbeenworkingon—buttheonlythingshe’dreallyfailedtomentionwereourbotchedattemptsatlocatingtheLilin,theendofElijah,andmynewtattoo,whowasnowoffdoingGodknowswhatwithBambi—who,bytheway,shouldn’t

evenbehere.Verballybackedintoa

corner,Isaidthefirstthingthatshottothetipofmytongue.“Ididn’taskforanyofthis!”Themomentthosewords

leftmymouth,Iknewtheywereamistake.Besidesthefactitdidn’tdomuchfortheconversation,itwaspossiblythemostincrediblychildishthingI’deversaid.

Andthatwassayingsomething.Grimsmirked.“Noone

everasksforwhatlifedealsthem.Youarehardlyspecial.”Mygazeloweredtohis

boots,andthenIsqueezedmyeyesshut.God,hewasright.NomatterwhatIhadgoingoninmylife,Ihadn’tdoneenoughtostoptheevilI’dinadvertentlyhelped

createwhenPaimonhadperformedtheritualinhisattempttofreeLilith—andmoreinnocentpeoplewoulddieasaresult.Iwasn’tsurewhatmoreIcould’vedone,butobviouslytherewassomething.Takingadeepbreath,I

liftedmyeyestohis.“You’reright.Ihaven’tbeendoingenough,butIwilldoanythingtostoptheLilin.”

Hiseyesglintedstrangely,asiftheyheldtheirownlightsource.“Anything?”“Anything,”Irepeated,

thoughthewordsdidnotchangewhyIwashere.“ButI’mnotgoingtoforgetaboutSam.Hissoulishereanditdoesn’tbelonghere.”Hemovedagain,lightning

quick,butIjumpedbackasIthrewupmyarm,blockinghisattemptatanotherthroat

grab.Painpulseddownmyarm,andthere’dprobablybeabruisetherelater,butbettertherethanaroundmyneck.Grimdrewback,andI

thoughtIsawapprovalflaringinhiseyes.“Perhapsyoustilldonotunderstandwhatisatriskhere.”Then,withoutanywarning,

hegrippedmywrist,andwewerenolongeronthebridge;wewereinsomekindof

buildingandawallofflamesloomedinfrontofus.Heatrolledofftheburningwallascracklingflamestouchedthefloorandceiling,butsomehow,likethefireintheelevator,theydidn’tspread.Thrownoffbythesudden

change,IstumbledbackandintoGrim.Jerkingaway,Ididn’tmakeitveryfarbeforeastrongarmclampeddown,aroundmywaist,drawingme

back.Airpunchedoutofmylungs.“Ithinkthere’ssomeone

youneedtomeet,”hesaid,voicelowinmyear.Theflamespulsed,and

thendroppedfromtheceiling,disappearingintothefloorandrevealingwhatexistedbeyond.Itwasaroom—abedroomofsorts,withagreat,ornatebedandrichfurscoveringthebarestonefloor.

Therewasasmalltableandtwochairs,evenaTV,andahystericallaughbubbledupinsidemeasIrememberedwhatRothhadsaidaboutthereceptiondownhere.Fromtheceilingtherewasathicksteelboltconnectedtoachainthatrandownthewall,andItrackedthelengthofthechaintotheneckofthewomanwhostoodtotheright,herslimhippropped

againstthewall.Mybreathcaught.Sheworeallwhite,a

gossamergownthatshowedeverythingfromthecollartothehem,andalltheshadowyplacesinbetween.Thiswoman,withherhairsoblonditwasalmostwhiteandeyesthatwereapaleshadeofgray,wasstartlinglybeautiful,unusuallysowitheyestippedatthecornersand

alush,redmouth.Andthatredmouthcurved

upinasmugsmile.Thenshespokeinavoice

thatwasancientandheavyasthefursliningthefloor.“Well,it’sabouttime.”“Lilith,”Ibreathed.

eighteen

FORTHEFIRSTtimeinmylife,IwasstandinginfrontofLilith—mymother—andshewasaliving,breathingcreature.Idon’tknowwhythatshockedmethemost,butshe’dalwaysbeenmoremyththanrealinmymind.Therewassomething

insidemethatwasrepelled

bythechainaroundherslenderneck.Itwasaweirdfeeling,oneoffamilialbonding.Afterall,nomatterwhat,shewasmymother,andshewaschained.Ididn’tlikeit.Ididn’tevenlikethefeeling,andIdidn’tknowwhattomakeofanyofthat.“Motherwould’vebeena

moreappropriategreeting,”shesaid,andthatvoicewaslikeathousandBambis,

slitheringundermyskin.“Butthenagain,Ishouldnotexpectsuchcourtesyfromyou.”Iblinkedatthethinly

veiledinsult.Wellthen...Lilithdidn’tsomuchas

walktowardthecenteroftheroomasshedrifted.Iwasn’tsureherfeettouchedthestoneatall.“Whyisshehere?Idonotbelieveitisto

freeme,notwithyouhere.”“Youknowyouwillnever

befreed,”Grimrepliedacidly.“NomatterwhattheLilinthinks,yourtimedownhereishardlyfinite.”Achangesweptoverher

face,softeningtheetherealbeauty.“Myson?Doyoubringwordofhim?”Thebreathlessnessofher

voicewasakicktothechestthatwokemeup.“Yourson?

Youmean,thatinsanethingrunningaroundtopside,wreakinghavoc?”Herpaleeyesnarrowedon

me.“Thatisyourbrotheryou’retalkingabout.Havesomerespect.”“Mybrother?”Isnorted.

“Yeah.No.”Sheshookherheadandthe

longwavesdancedaroundherface.“Youcannotdenywhatis.Heisapartofyou.

Youareapartofme.Thethreeofusareconnected.”Istiffened.“I’mnotapart

ofyouorhim.”Lilithraisedherchin.“You

alwaysweresuchadisappointmenttome,”shesaid,andIflinched,unabletohelpmyself.“Ihadsuchgreathopeforyou.Youweretobetheonetonotonlyfreeme,buttorisewithme.Wewould’vechangedtheworld,

butthis?”Shepaused,raisingherhands.“ThisiswhatIhavetoshowforit.Youdonotrespectme.Youdonothonorme.”“Wow,”Imurmured,

drawinginashakybreath.“Justwow.Haveyouevercaredforanyone—lovedthem?”“Love?”Shewrinkledher

nosedistastefully.“Paimonlovedyou,”I

replied.Sherolledhereyes.“That

fool.Hefailedatreleasingmeandheisthereasontheyallwatchtoocloselynow.Thereisnosuchthingaslove,andplease,donotexposeawholenewlevelofidiocybyarguingwithme.I’llaskagain.”ShecasthergazetoGrim,whowasstillholdingmefrombehind.“Whyisshehere?”

“I’llaskthequestions.”Grim’sholdonmywaistdidn’tloosen,asifheexpectedmetoraceforwardandtearthechainfromtheceiling.Needlessworry.Thatwasn’tgoingtohappen.“WillyoucallbacktheLilin?Youknowyoucan.Evenfromthiscell,youcanstopthis.”“Whycan’tyoumake

her?”Iasked.Grimallbutgrowled.“Itis

notthatsimple.”Lilith’sgazeflickered

betweenus,andthenshetossedherheadback,lettingoutathroatylaugh.“Isthataseriousquestion?Youaskmetostopmyson?”Loweringherhead,hergazeflashedlikesteel.“IfIcannothavemyway,thenIcannotwaitforthedestructionhewillheapuponmankind.Hewillbringabouttheonethingthat

Icouldneveraccomplish—theend.”“Why?”Idemanded.

“Whywouldyouwantthat?Noonewinsinthatscenario.Notevenyou.”“Why?”Disbeliefflooded

herface.“HaveyounoideawhatI’vesuffered?Firstthankstotheonewhocreatedmeandthenatthehandsofman?HaveyounocluewhatI’velost?Myfreedom

strippedfrommetimeandtimeagain!Mychoicesthrownaway!IwascastfromEden,lefttofendformyselfinadarkworldfullofhorror!YouhavenoideawhatI’veexperienced.Donotdaretoaskwhy.”“Youhavesuffered,”Grim

saidquietly.“AndsohavethemanysoulsI’veclaimedbecauseofyourhand.”Shelaughedbitterly.“And

Idonotregretasinglething.”Sheglanceddownatme.“Well,maybejustafewthings.”Ijoltedandblurtedoutthe

firstthingthatcametomind.“I’myourdaughter.”Herfacetensed.“Then

honorme.”“Ican’t,”Iwhispered,

choked.“Notifhonoringyoumeansmillionsofpeoplewilldie.”

“Thenwearedonehere.”“Soweare,”murmured

Grim.Thewallofflames

returnedwithathunderouspop,andthenwewerenolongerthere.Wewerebackatthebridge,andGrimreleasedme.Istumbledawayfromhim,tothewall.Istareddownatthewater

forseveralmoments,feelingnauseousand...andheartsick.

Therewasawoundthere,oneI’dspentthebetterpartofmylifeignoringorpretendingwasn’tabigdeal,butitwasanditdidhurt.NomatterwhatLilithwas,shewasmymother,andneithershenormyfatherhadevercaredforme.“Whydidyoubringmetoher?Otherthantoproveshedoesn’tandneverhascaredaboutme?”“Itmighthaveseemed

cruel,butyouneededtoseewhatshetrulyis,becauseitshowsyouwhattheLilintrulyis.Nothingwillchangeeitherofthem.Noamountofrationaleornegotiation.TheLilinmustbestopped.”“Iknow.Ididn’tneedto

meethertounderstandthat.”WearyfromeverythingGrimhadtoldmeandfrommeetingthemotherforwhomI’dbeensuchadisappointment,I

facedhim.Iwasdonewiththis.“IwantSam’ssoul.Youcanreleaseit,soitcangowhereit’ssupposedto,andIwillstoptheLilin.ButIwanthissoulreleased.”Grimstaredatme,his

expressionapathetic.“Icannotdothat.”Preparedforthatresponse,

Iclaspedmyhandstogethertokeepfromswinginganddiscoveringhoweasyit

wouldbeforGrimtotakemeoutdespitemynewlydiscoveredimmortality.“Please.Hedoesn’tdeservethis.Please.I’lldoanythingyouwantmetodo.”“Youshouldneveroffer

suchabargaintoanyone.”Hisgazeheldnocruelty,butIshiverednonetheless.“Especiallynotme,becauseImayrequestfromyousomethingyouarenotwilling

togive.”Theshiverhitmeagain.“I

havetodothisforhim.Youdon’tunderstand.Samwasagoodperson—atrulygoodperson.Hissoulwasnearlypure.Hedoesn’tdeserveaneternityofbeingtormented.”“Idonotdisagree,but

thereisnothingIcando.”Myhandsstartedtoshake

andIseparatedthem.“No.Iknowyoucan.Youcontrol

thesoulsthathavepassed.You’rethe—”“IknowwhatIam,girl,as

Itoldyoubefore,”hesnapped,thepassivityinhisexpressionbleedingintoirritation.“AndIknowIcannotreleasewhatIdonothave.”Frustrationpouredoutof

myvoice.“Thenwhohashissoul?WhodoIneedtobeg?BecauseIwill.”

“Youdonotunderstand.”Grimshookhishead,almostsadly.“Hissoulisnomore.Canyoucomprehendthat?DespitewhatLilithsaid,whatyouareandwhataLilinisaretwoverydifferentthings.”“What?”Iwhispered,my

heartsuddenlybeatingtoofast.Iunderstoodwhathewassaying,butIwantedtobewrong.Ineededtobewrong.Mylowerlip

trembled.“Whereishissoul?”“TheLilinconsumedit,

girl.Youknowthat.Howelsecouldittakeonhisformoranyother?WhentheLilinconsumesasoul,itisnotthesameasstrippingit.ThatiswhyanyLilin,evenonlyone,issoincrediblydangerous.”Horrorswampedme.No.

No.No.Ididn’tknowthis.Therewasn’taLilin-handling

manualthatexplainsthesethings.I’dassumedthattherewouldstillbesomepartofSam’sessencethatwould’vebeensenttoHell.IhadassumedthattheLilin’sabilitywaslikemine.Ihadn’tallowedtheideaofanythingelsetocrossmymind.“Areyou...?”Icould

barelygetthewordsoutfromaroundtheballofbitteremotionforming.“Areyou

tellingmethereisnothingthatyoucando?”“Thereisnosoulformeto

release,”heansweredquietly.“OhGod.”Iclosedmy

eyes,turningawayasrawpainanddisappointmenttookmybreathaway.Itwasn’tfair.Notatall.

Samhadneverhurtasinglepersonandnowhejust...Ceasedtoexist?Somewouldarguethatwasbetterthanan

eternityoftorment,buttome,itwasworse.ThateverythingSamhadeverbeen,allthathehadeverdone,simplydidnotmatter.Hewasgone,nothingleftofhiminthisworldoranyother,andthatwassowrong.Andwhatintheworldwas

IgoingtotellStacey?This—thiswoulddestroyher,buthowcouldIlie,knowingwhatIknew?ButI’drather

shoulderthatburdenthanhavehercarrythatknowledge.“Ididn’tsaytherewas

nothingthatcouldbedone.”MyeyesshotopenandI

spuntowardhim.“What?”“TheLilinconsumedthe

soul,andthatsoulisinhim,alongwithanyothersoulshe’sconsumed.Allisnotlost.”Forasecond,Ididn’tdare

breathe,andthenIlostit.“Howaboutstartingtheconversationoffwiththatinsteadoflettingmethinkhewassimplyjustgone!”“Howaboutyouwatch

yourtone,”herepliedtartly.Everyounceofmybeing

wantedtorageagainsthim,butIforcedmyselftocalmdown,becauseheheldalltheknowledge.“I’msorry,”Ipushedout.“It’sjustthat

Samisimportanttome.”Grimarchedabrow.“Ican

seethat.”Foldinghisarmsacrosshischest,heeyedmewithstarkintensity.“YouandIwantthesamething.YouwanttofreeSam’ssoulandIwanttheLilinstopped.Ibelievethisiswhathumanswouldtermtwobirds,onestone.KilltheLilin.Samandeveryothersoulhe’sconsumedwillbefreed.”

“Done.”Notasecondofhesitation.“Bewarnedthatitwillnot

besoeasy.Soulsdon’tlastindefinitely,trappedlikethat.I’veneverheardofonemakingitpastahandfulofmonths,”hesaid.“Timeisoftheessence.”Samhadbeengonefora

while.“Isittoolateforhim?”“No,”heanswered,andI

tookhiswordforit,because

hewaswhohewas.“Butyoudonothavelong.Foravarietyofreasons.”Inodded,notonlygrasping

ontothehopethatIcouldstillhelpSamfindthepeacehedeservedbutfullyunderstandingthatthemomentIgottopside,IneededtofindtheLilin.“Donotfailinthis.Itisnot

justyourfriend’ssoulatrisk,”headded,andablastof

icywindbeatbacktheoppressiveheat.“IftheLilincontinuesunchecked,theAlphaswillstepin.TheywilleradicateallthedemonsandWardenstopside,andifthathappens,Hellwillhavetoretaliate.ThereisnowayHellcouldstandasideandallowit.TheBosswillreleasethefourhorsemen.”Iswallowedhard.“Iguess

you’renottalkingaboutthe

KentuckyDerbykindofhorsemen?”“No.”Hedidn’tsound

amused.“Theywillride,andtheywillbringabouttheapocalypse.Billionswilldie,Layla,andtheearthwillbelaidtowaste.OnlyLilithandtheLilincouldtrulywantthat.NotI.NottheBossortheBigOneintheSky.Noneofuswantthat,becauseallofuswillgotowar.”

“Nopressureoranything,”Imurmured,sighing.“I’mjuststoppingtheapocalypse.”Hislipstwitchedintoa

grin,butitwasgonesoquicklyImight’veimaginedit.“Unlikeyourmother,Ihavefaithinyou,Layla.Butrememberonething.Everyonepaysapriceinbloodintheend.”

nineteen

BAMBIANDROBINwerereturnedtomerightbeforeIsteppedbackintothesignificantlycoolerhallway.Themomentthey’dappeared,they’dstartedbickeringwithoneanother.Aboutwhat,Iwasn’tsure,becauseIwasconsumedwitheverythingGrimhadtoldandshowed

me.Overwhelmed,Ididn’tfeel

thefamiliarsresumetheiranimalformsandattachthemselvestome,orreallyremembermuchofthewalkbacktotheelevatororthetriptopside.Mythoughtswerestillswirlingaroundinaviciouscirclewhentheelevatordoorsslidopenoncemore.Gleamingambereyesmet

mine,andbeforeIcouldsayaword,ortellhimhowrelievedIwastoseehim,Rothwasinfrontofme.Barelyrestrainedfurytightenedthelinesofhisfaceashestormedintotheelevator.“Haveyoubeenhurt?”he

demanded.“What?No.”“InjuredinanywaythatI

cannotsee?”

WhenIshookmyhead,someofthetension,ifonlyateenyamount,fadedfromhim.Istartedtoraisemyhands.“I—”Mywordsendedina

squealasheliftedmeoffmyfeet.Withinasecond,Iwasswingingthroughtheair.Igruntedasmymidsectionhithisshoulder.Outofinstinct,Igraspedtheleatherbeltaroundhiships.Hepivoted

aroundandtheelevatorwhirledashesteppedoutinthelobby.“Roth—”“Don’t,”hegrowled.Mygriptightenedashe

stalkedforward.“Putmedown!”“Notgoingtohappen.”Heturnedtowardthehall

leadingtothestairwellandIliftedmyhead.Thelobbywasemptywiththeexception

ofCayman.Hewasbythecouchesandchairs,andhisusuallyhandsomefacewasmarredwithavarietyofpurplishandredbruises.Ihadnoideademonscould

evenbebruised.Caymangrinned,butit

lookedpainful.SmackingRoth’slower

back,Itriedtogethisattention.“Putmedown.Now.”Whenhedidn’t

respond,Istartedtokickmylegs,buthisfreearmclampeddownaroundthebackofmyknees.“Roth!”“Don’t,”hesaidagainas

thedoortothestairwellflewopen,bangingoffthecementwalls.Iwincedasthesoundechoed.“Justdon’tsayanotherworduntilwegetupstairs.”Mymouthdroppedopen.

“Don’ttellmenottotalk!”

Hechuckleddarkly,withoutanyhumor.“That’swhatIjustdid,Shortie.”TellingmyselfI’dknown

hewasgoingtobeupset,thattheangerhadtobearesultofhimbeingsoconcernedovermywell-being,Istruggledtoremainlevelheaded.Ireallyjustwantedtokickhim.“Iknowyou’reangry—”Thearmaroundmylegs

tightened.“Youhavenoidea

howangryIam.Nonewhatsoever.”Squeezingmyeyesshut,I

countedtoten.Imadeittofive.“Okay.Iunderstand.Butyoudon’tneedtocarrymeupthestairs.”Insteadofresponding,he

putalittlebounceinhisstep,jarringmeashetookthestairstwoatatime.Whenwereachedthefourthorfifthfloorlanding,I’dhadit.Igot

thathewasangry,butthiswasridiculous.TappingintothestrengthI

knewIhad,IraisedmyhandsandgrippedhisshouldersasIswungmyweightbackatthesametime.ThemovecaughtRothoffguardandhisarmloosenedenoughformetobreakthehold.Isliddownthefrontofhis

bodyandthecontactsentaflashofheatthroughmy

veins.Ignoringit,Ibackedup,immediatelyputtingadistancebetweenus,whichprobablywasoneofthesmartestthingsI’ddonesofar.Rothwasfurious.Angerpouredoutofevery

cellofhistightlycoiledbodyandflashedbehindhisgoldeneyes.Hisskinwasthinner,exposingthedarkertonethatexistedbeyondtheflesh.My

eyeswidened.Notoutoffear,becauseIwouldneverbescaredofhim,butbecausetherewasmorethanjustangerIsawinhisfeatures—therewasstarkanxiety.Yes,helookedfierce,buthealsolookedlikehe’dexpectednottoseemeagain.“Roth,”Isaidsoftly,and

hiseyessqueezedshutinagrimaceatthesoundofhisname.“Iknowyou’reupset.

I’msorry,butIhadtogodownthereandIknewitwasn’tsafefor—”“Yes,let’stalkabout

safety!”Hisvoicethunderedthroughthestairwell.“Doyouevenknowhowmuchyouriskedbygoingdownthere?Howincrediblyluckyyouaretobestandinghere,unscathed?”“Yes,but—”“Thereisn’tabutinthis,

Layla.Thereareanynumberofextremelydisturbedandtwistedthingsthatcouldhavehappenedtoyou.Andforwhat?”“Forwhat?YouknewI

hadtohelpSam.ThatIcouldn’t—”“Icould’vehelpedyouif

youhadallowedme!”Hiseyesflashedanintenseamber.“Iknowwhatcanhappendownthere,andI

don’tcarewhatCaymansaidtoyou,therewasnowayyoucould’vebeenprepared.Anynumberofdemonscould’vetakenyou,andtheywould’vedonethingsthatwouldmakeyoubegfordeath.”Ishudderedatthethought,

butforcedmyvoicetoremainsoothing.“Nothinghappenedtome,Roth.I’mokay—”“Ididn’tknowthat,now,

didI?Iwokeupafterthat

assholesnappedmyneckandyouweregone,Layla,intoHell,andIcouldn’tgoafteryou.Itried,butthedamnelevatorwouldn’tcomeup.Iknewtheentrancehadbeenblocked,andyouhavenoideawhatthatmademethink.Ididn’tknowifyouwereokay.Ispentadayandahalffearingtheworst!”heyelled,andmystomachdropped,becauseI’dforgottentime

moveddifferentlydownstairs.Whatfeltlikeanhourtopstomehadbeenhoursandhoursofuncertaintyforhim.Iswallowed.“Roth,I’m

sorry.Ireallyam.Ididn’twantyoutoworry.”“Ifyoudidn’twantmeto

worry,youneverwould’veconspiredagainstme.Iofferedyoumyaidandyoustrippedthatchoicefromme.”Hisjawwassetina

hardline.“AndIwasleftutterlypowerlesswhenitcametohelpingyou.Dammit,Layla,Iwanttothrottleyou.”“Well,that’snotreally

helpingme.”Hiseyesnarrowed,andI

realizedmylameattemptathumorhadprettymuchswan-diveddownthestairs.“Doyouthinkthisisajoke?”“No,”Imuttered,starting

tolosemypatience.Hesteppedforward,a

musclethrobbingalonghisjaw.“Youriskedtoomuch,Layla.You—”“Iwasn’tgoingtorisk

you!”Ishouted,mycontrolstretchingandthensnapping.Isteppedforward,plantingmyhandsonhischestandshovinghard.Hestumbledbackonlyhalfastep.“Doyouunderstandthat?Ihadto

godowntheretohelpSam,butIwasnotgoingtoriskyouandIwouldn’tgobackandchangethatifIcould.Sorry!Youcanbemadallyouwant.”“I’mpissedoffbecauseI

loveyou,Layla,andtheideaoflosingyoufuckingterrifiesme!”“AndIwasn’tgoingto

chancelosingyou!BecauseIloveyou,youannoying,self-

importantandovercontrolling—”Rothshotforward,

claspingmywristsinhis.Pressingmebackagainstthewall,hepinnedmyhandsabovemyhead.Ourbodieswereflushed,andmyheartpoundederraticallyashedippedhishead.Roth’smouthwasonmine,

anditwasarawkiss,onethatbrookednoroomfordenial.

NotthatIcouldeverwanttodenyhim.Thekisswasalmosttoopowerful,tooprimitive.Itrippedopentheballofdreadthatrestedlowinmybelly,becauseitwasthekindofkisswroughtfromthefearoflosingsomeone,andthatmadeoursituationallthemorereal.ItmadewhatIhaddoneall

themorepainful.Ikissedhimback,justas

hungrilyandjustasdemanding.Hegave.Itook.Andasweclutchedateachother,Iknewthattherewasmoreloveinhiswordsthantherehadbeenanger.Afterwhatfeltlikeforever,

heliftedhismouthfrommine.Restingourforeheadstogether,hekepthishandsovermywrists.Hewasbreathingheavily,andIcouldfeelhisheartracingagainst

mychest.“Ican’tloseyou,”hesaid

inahoarsemutter,hisvoicetwistingupmyinsides.“Ican’t.”“Youwon’t,”Iwhispered

back,butthosetwowordsrangemptytome,evenafterwhatGrimhadtoldme.“Areyoustillmadatme?”Hisbreathwaswarmon

mylips.“Istillwanttostrangleyou.”Hepaused.

“Butinthemostlovingwaypossible.”Ipressedmylipstogether.

“Okaythen.”Roth’slipsbrushedover

mybrow,andthenhewassteppingback,hishandstrailingoffmywristsanddownmyarms.Hismovementswerestiffasheturnedtothestairs,andwhileIcouldtellmostoftheangerhadfadedaway,itwasn’t

completelygone.Hestartedupthestairs,

andaftertakingacoupledeepbreaths,Ifollowedhim.Wedidn’ttalkonthewayuptohisloftorwhenwesteppedinside.Heslammedthedoorshutbehindus.“Bambi.Off.”Thefamiliarleftmyskin

immediately,andinsteadoffloatingtowardhim,theshadowdartedunderthebed.“Ithinkyouhurther

feelings,”Isaid,facinghim.“Andyoufailedtomentiontomethatthefamiliarsareactuallypeople.That’saprettybigthingtoforget,youknow,thatyouhaveagrownwomancrawlingaroundonyourskin.”Hestopped,bothbrows

raised.“Areyoujealous?Becauseyouhaveaguyonyourightnow.”Ishuddered.“Thanksfor

remindingmeofthat.”Hestaredatme.

“Seriously?You’renotjealous,areyou?”Sighing,Iwalkedoverto

thebenchinfrontofthepianoandploppeddown.“Atfirst,yeah,Iwas.ButthenIrealizedhowstupidthatwas.Andbesides,sheapparentlyhasthehotsforZayne.”“Whydoesn’tthatsurprise

me?Bambi’salwayshadbad

taste.”Mylipspursed.“You

could’vetoldme.”Rothshotmeadarklook

ashecrossedtheroom.“Tobehonest,ithadn’tcrossedmymind.Sillymeforthinkingthere’dbenochanceofyoutakingastrollthroughHell.”Iresistedtheurgetoroll

myeyes.“Bambimadeitsoundlikeyoulethertake

thatformwhileshe’stopside.”“Sometimes.”Hefolded

hisarmsacrosshischest.“Notoftenenoughthatit’ssomethingIthinkabout.”“Still,itwould’vebeen

handytoknow.Imaginemysurprisewhentheyjustpoppedrightoffme.”Ireacheddown,towhereRobinwascurledalongmyhip.“Idon’tthinktheylike

eachother.Alltheydidwasargue.”Iglancedatthebed.“Ireallydothinkshe’shiding.”“Ofcoursesheis,”he

replied,eyeingthebedwithamixtureoffondnessandirritation.“Sheknewyouweregoingdownthere,oratleastsuspectedit.Sheshould’vestoppedyou.”Irestedmyhandsonmy

knees,meetinghishardgaze.

“WhenIsaidIwassorry,Imeantit.Ididn’tknowCaymanwasgoingtodistractyouinthatmanner.Ipunchedhim,ifthatmakesyoufeelanybetter.”Hearchedabrow,looking

unappeased.Iwenton.“ButIhadtotry

tohelpSam.Ihadto.”Rothwassilentforalong

momentandthenheexhaledloudly.“YousawGrim?Did

yougetwhatyouwerelookingfor?”“IgotawholelotofwhatI

wasn’tlookingfor,”Isaid,slidingmypalmsalongmyknees.“HetoldmewhattheWardenswerebefore—whotheywere.”“Heavenlyrejects,”he

said,hisfaceimpassive.“Itwasnevermystorytotell.Iwasn’tevensureyou’dbelievemeifIdid.”

“Inthebeginning?Probablynot,”Iadmitted,andthenforgedon.“Hetoldmethatsomeofthemwereneverawakened,thattheyarestillencasedinstone.Ineverknewthat.Didyou?”Rothshookhishead.“I

hadheardrumors,butsomegargoylesarejuststonecarvingsandnothingmore.”“Healsotoldmeabout

Lilith.Thatshewasnevera

demon.”Hisbrowsfurrowed.“I

thinkhewasmessingwithyou,Layla.Lilithisademon.”Ishookmyheadtiredly,

andthenexplainedeverythingthatGrimhadtoldmeaboutLilith.IsawthemomentwhenRothbelievedme,whenItoldhimhowtheBosshadcovereditup.“So,Ifeellikeademon.SodidLilith,

butonlybecausenooneknewwhatwereallywere,andIguesswiththeBosstellingeveryonethatshewasone,noonethoughttoquestionit.Peopleseewhattheywanttosee.Evendemons,Iguess.”Rothhadmovedcloserto

measItoldhimwhatGrimsaid,butnowhekneltinfrontofme.“You’renotademon.”“No.Notaccordingto

Grim,anditmakessense.

Youknow,howthedemonscouldneversensemeinthebeginning,notuntilrecently—notuntilthewitchesgavemewhattheydid.”Understandingflareddeepinhiseyes,andseeingthatmadeiteasiertotellhimwhatelseI’dlearned.“Theygavemethebloodofoneoftheoriginalfallenangels.Thesamethingthey’dgivenLilith.That’swhyIlook

differentnowwhenIshift.IguessitovercamewhateverWardenbloodIhadinme.Andeversincethen,Idon’thavethesameurgesto...tofeed.It’sstillthere,butit’snothinglikebefore.Idon’tneedanythingtoeaseit.Icanignoreit.Anyway,goodnewsis,I’mkindofimmortal,soyoudon’tneedtoworryaboutmelookinglikeyourgrandmotheroneday.”

Hestaredupatmeinsilenceforalongmomentandfinally,whenIstartedtoworry,hesaid,“Ifailtoseewherethereisanybadnewsinvolvedinwhatyou’vejusttoldme.”Ialmostsmiled.“Well,I’m

kindofabiggerfreakthanyouthoughtIwasinthebeginning.”“Idon’tcareifyougrowa

thirdboobwhenyoushiftor

ifyouarepartHellion,”hesaidfervently.“Orifthreedaysamonthyouendupneedingtoconsumethefleshofthedead.”Um.Thatwashard-core.“I’mgoingtoloveyouall

thesame.”Heplacedhishandsovermine.“ButknowingthatI’mnotgoingtohavetomakesomecrazydealinthefuturetopreventyoufromdyingofoldageonme

istheicingonmycake,babe.”Icouldn’tevenstopthe

smilefromtuggingatmylips.“You’reridiculous,youknowthat?Youreallywouldmakeadeal?”Hisgazewassteady.“I

woulddoanythingforyou.”“Ditto.”Iwatchedhimlift

myhandstohismouthandpressedhislipstotheknucklesofeachone.“I

didn’tgetSam’ssoul.”“I’msorry,”hesaid,and

althoughhiswordswerespokenlow,Iknewtheyweretrue.AndIalsoknewthattheonlythinghetrulycaredaboutinthismomentwasthatIwassittinginfrontofhim,unhurt.Icurledmyfingersaround

him.“TheLilinstillhasSam’ssoul.Anysoulthatitconsumes,itkeeps.Killing

theLilinreleasesthesouls,butGrimsaidhedidn’tknowifhissoulwouldlastmuchlongerinsidetheLilin.”Rothsmiled,showingoff

onedeepdimple.“Well,thenthat’salsonotbadnews.WeplanonkillingtheLilinanyway.Thattakescareofbothproblems.”Ididn’tliketothinkabout

whetherornotSamwasawareofwhatwasgoingon

whilehewastrappedinsidetheLilin.“That’sbeenourplan,buthow?IimaginetheLilinwon’tbeeasytokill.”“Itwon’tbe.”Lettinggoof

myhands,heroseandwalkedovertohisdresser.Openingthetopdrawer,hecarefullypulledoutsomethingwrappedinthickleather.Hecarriedittothetopofthepiano,whereheplaceditdownandpulledthematerial

back.“Butwe’lldoitthesamewaywe’dkillanydemon—withanironstake.”Unabletosuppressthe

shudderuponseeingthreeironstakeslaidoutsoinnocuously,IglancedupatRothassomethingoccurredtome.“IfI’mnotademon,thenhowdidironinjuremebefore?”“Because,asfarasIknow,

it’sfataltotheoriginals,too.

Whilethey’renotdemons,theyarestillcursedinmanyofthesamewaysdemonsare.Afterall,theysinnedinwaysthatwerebelievedtobeunforgivable.”Hesmiledslightlyashelookedatme.“You’veknownaboutmylittlecollection.ThisisallthatIhaveleft.”Rothdidn’thandlethe

weapons,becausetheywouldsearhisflesh.Thebindingat

thethickerendofthestakeonlyprotectedhimforsolong.Itwasn’tthatwayformebeforesinceIcouldhandlethem,whichIhadalwaysthoughtwasduetomyWardenblood,butnowIwasn’tsure.Ireachedout,quickly

brushingmyfingersalongthecoolmetalbeforeRothcouldstopme.Heutteredaharshcurseashegrippedmyhand,

yankingitback.“Itdidn’tburn,”Itoldhim.“Sameasbefore.IguessI’mspecial.”Henarrowedhiseyes.

“That’sonewayofputtingit.”Imadeaface,andhe

chuckledashefoldedtheleatherclothbackoverthestakes.Warm,Ipushedthesleevesofmysweaterup.“WeneedtostoptheLilin.Iknowwe’vebeensayingthat,

but—”“Whatisthis?”Hetook

holdofmyfingers,liftingmyarmupintheair.AtfirstIdidn’tgetwhathewaslookingat,butasheturnedmyarmover,Isawthebruises,shapedlikethreefingershadpressedin.Hiseyesflashedfrommyarmtomyface,hisfeaturestensing.“DidIdothis?”“What?”Ishookmyhead.

“No.”Uneasebubbledforthas

hispupilsstretchedvertically.“Whodidthis?”“Um...”Hetiltedhisheadtothe

side.“Tobruiseyourskin,someonewould’vehadtohavegrippedyourarmwithenoughforcethatifyouwerehuman,itwould’vesnappedyourbone.”“Myarmisfine.”

“Thatdoesn’tanswermyquestion.”“Idon’tthinkIneedto

answeryourquestion,becauseyou’llflipout.”Roth’slipsthinned.“I’m

totallycalm.IwouldjustliketoknowwhomarredyourskinsothatIcanputanameandfacetothecreatureI’mgoingtokillveryslowly.”“Ithinkwemighthave

differentdefinitionsofcalm,”

Isaidwryly.“I’veneverbeencalmerin

mylife.”WhenIshothimadisbelievinglook,hischestrosewithadeepbreath.“ItwasGrim,wasn’tit?Touchy,impatientbastard.”Ididn’tanswer.Notreally.

“Ihaveafeelingyoucan’tkillhim.”“Icantry.”Hisvoicewas

deadserious.“Whatgoodwouldtrying

do?Wehaveenoughproblemswithoutaddingtothem,andyougoingafterGrimwouldbeamajorheadachewedon’tneedrightnow.”Rothloweredhischinashe

closedhiseyes.“Itisintheveryfabricofmybeingtoseekrevengeagainstthosewhohurtmyown.”Onecouldneverforget

whatRothwas.Ishouldbe

concernedormaybeevenangrythathe’dbewillingtoseekrevenge,buttherewasapartofmethatwassecretlythrilledbythelevelofhisprotectiveness.Becausethetruthwas,ifthesituationhadbeenflipped,I’dwanttomurderwhoeverhurthim.“I’llletitgo,”he

continued,raisingmyarmtohismouth.Hepressedalightkissagainstthebruise,and

mychestgotallmushy.“Fornow.”Igroanedasheletgoof

myarm.“Hey,that’sbetterthanme

bargingintoHellrightnow,isn’tit?”“Yeah,whenyouputitthat

way,sure.”Hewalkedtothebedand

satdown.“Grimsaidsomeotherthings,”Isaid,castingmygazetothebruises.I

tuggedmysleevedown.“Thingshewasahundredpercentcorrecton.”“LikehowI’mgoingto

breakeveryfingeronhishand?”Hepattedthebed.“No,”IsighedasBambi

peekedoutfromunderthebed.Sherosegracefully,nudgingRoth’slegwithhersnout.“HeprettymuchcalledusoutfornotreallydoinganythingabouttheLilin.”

BambiplacedherheadonRoth’skneeandheabsentlypettedher.Immediately,IthoughtofwhatshehadsaidaboutZayneandwherehehadactuallystrokedher,andIhadtotellmyselfnottowalkoverthereandmoveRoth’shandtothetipofhersnout,becauseIfiguredthatcouldn’tbeaninappropriateplaceonherbody.God,Ineededtostop

thinkingaboutthat.“We’rehardlysittingidly

by,”hesaid,smilingdownatBambi.“FindingtheLilinisnoteasy.It’snotlikehe’saligninghimselfwithanyone.”“Whatabouttheclubyou

mentioned?”“Oh,theoneIplannedon

investigatingbeforeyousnuckofftoHell?”“That’stheone,”Isaid

sheepishly.Rothpattedhischestand

withouthimhavingtosayaword,Bambimeldedtohisskin,disappearingunderthehemofhisshirt.“Wecanstillcheckthatout,but,Layla,IknowhowGrimcangetunderyourskin.Couldwealwaysdomoretofightevil?Yes.Shouldwestoplivingourlivesintheprocess?No.We’redoingwhatwecando

—morethanwehavetodo.”Istartedtorespond,but

therewasaknockonthedoor.Roth’seyesnarrowedoncemore.“Comeinifyouhavetheballs.”Mybrowsflewup,but

thenthedooropenedtorevealCayman,andIsortofunderstoodthegreetingasthedemonsteppedintoroom.Thenormalhumorand

arrogancewasgonefromhis

expression,andtherewasasickpinchtohisappearancethathadn’tbeentherewhenI’dseenhiminthelobby.IknewimmediatelyithadnothingtodowiththetensionbetweenhimandRoth,butCayman’sgazewastrainedonhim.“What?”Rothbeganto

stand,apparentlyalsosensingtrouble.“I’msorry,”Caymansaid,

hisshouldersstiff.“Thewitchesarehere.They’vecomeforwhatIhadtopromise.”

twenty

ISQUEEZEDMYeyesshut,swallowingagroan.Thiswasthelastthingwe

neededtobedealingwithrightnow,butthewitcheshadsavedmylife.Theywerealsoresponsibleformycurrentstate.Iwasn’tsureifIshouldbeupsetwiththemforgivingmesomethingas

powerfulasthebloodofafallenangel.HowcouldIbe?God,itwasgrossjustthinkingaboutthefactthatI’dconsumedanyone’sblood,butthey’dgivenmetheclosestthingtoimmortality,somethingIhadn’treallyhadthechancetofullywrapmyheadaroundyet.RothandIhadnoidea

whatthewitchescouldwant

inexchangefortheirhelpthenightMaddoxhadstabbedme,butbythelookonCayman’sfaceandthedejectedwayhewalkeddownthehallwayleadingtotheclub,itwasacauseforgraveconcern.Ialreadyknewthiswas

goingtobebad.Rothplantedbothhandson

thedoor,swingingitopenashestalkedintothemainfloor

oftheclub.Itwassilent,awhollydifferentatmospherefromwhatIwasaccustomedto.Noneofthedazzlinglightswereon,andthespacelookedalmostordinaryinthebrightglareoftheoverheadones.Nodancersgracedthehorseshoe-shapedstageandtheshadowycornersoftheclubwereabsentofdemonsandcardgames.Thewitchessatatoneof

thehigh,round-toptablesjustbeyondthestage.Thereweretwoofthem:theoldermanwho’dreceiveduswhenwe’dgoneintotherestauranttomeettheircroneandlearnmoreabouttheLilin,andayoungerwomanwhocouldn’thavebeenmucholderthanme.Bothweredressednormally,whichwassuchastupidthingformetobesurprisedabout,becauseit

wasn’tlikemostmalewitchesranaroundwearingablackwarlockcloakorfemalesawhite,billowydress.Theysharedsimilarcharacteristics—brownhairandeyes,smallnoseandmouths,andIwonderediftheywererelated.Fatheranddaughter.ThecroneIremembered

fromourlastmeeting,theonewho’dseemedtocallthe

shots,wasn’twiththem—butIwasn’tsurprised,becauseIdoubtedthatwomancouldtravelmuch.ShewassooldthatwhenIfirstmether,I’dexpectedhertofalloverdeadatanygivenmomentandexplodeinacloudofdust.Witcheswereavery

strangebreed.Theywerehuman,mostly,butsomewhereintheirbloodlinewasdemonicbloodandthat

waswheretheygottheirabilities.Buteventhoughtheyhaddemonicancestors,theydidn’tclaimtheconnection.Witchesdidn’ttrustthedemonsandtheydidn’ttrusttheWardens,either.Tome,theywereneithergoodnorevil,andtypicallytheystayedfar,farawayfromthedrama.Thecoventhetwositting

beforeusbelongedto

worshippedLilith,andIimmediatelywantedtolaunchintoalectureaboutwhatahorribleideathatwas.“What’sup?”Roth

announcedasheswaggeredrightuptotheirtable,completelyfearlesswhileIhadthecommonsensetolingerafewstepsback.Wedidn’tknowwhatthewitcheswerefullycapableof.ThemaneyedRothwarily

beforeflippinghisgazetowhereIstoodbesideCayman.“Iseethatyouarewell.”“Thankstoyouall,”I

repliedwhileRoth’seyesnarrowed.Iforcedmyselftotakeastepforward,hopingtokeepeveryonecool.“I’msorry,butyourname?”Heraisedhischinslightly.

“I’mPaul.”“Paul?”repeatedRoth.

“Funny,somehowIthought

you’dbeaEugeneoranOmar.”IturnedtoRothslowly.Paulignoredthecomment.

“AndthisisSerifina.”“That’saprettyname,”I

said,andthegirlsmiledatme.“IknowwhatyourcovengavemewhenIwashurt.”WhenPaulwassilentonthat,Ihadtoaskmynextquestion.“Howdidyouhavethebloodofafallenangel?”

“Doesthatmatter?”hequeried.“Iguessnot,butI’m...well,

I’mnosy.”Ishrugged.“It’snotsomethingthatIimaginepeople,evenwitches,justhavelyingaroundinabundance.”“It’snot.AndIcantellyou

itwasnoteasytoobtainnordidwepartwithitwithoutgreatconsideration,”Paulexplained.

BoredompulledatRoth’sexpressionasheleanedbackagainstthestage.“That’s...interesting.”Paul’ssmilewastight.“All

ofushaveheardofthePrince’sarrogance.Howreassuringtoseethatthisrumoriscorrect.”IstiffenedasRoth’slips

tippedupononecorner,andwhenhespoke,hisvoicewasasthickasmolasses.“Did

youalsoheartherumorofhowIstrungawitchupbyhisteethonce?Becausethatwasalsotrue.”Paulpaled,andthenhis

cheeksflushedredwhilemyeyeswidened.“Thisisgoingtogo

downhillquick,”Serifinasaid,hervoicesoftashergazedartedbetweenRothandme.“Wedonotwantthat.We’vecomeforwhatwe

werepromisedandthatisall.”“Andwhatwereyou

promised?”Rothdemanded.“Let’sgetthisoverwith.”Paulglancedbackat

Caymanwithabjecthorroretchedintohisagingfeatures.“Youdidnottellhim?”Ohno.Thisdidnotsound

good.“Ihaven’tasked.Ithasn’t

beenapriorityofmine,”Roth

replied,anddismissivenessdrippedfromhistone.Paulexhaledroughly.

“Youwillhonorthepromise.”“DidIsaythatIwould

not?”Serifinawasaghast,

shaken.“Butyoudon’tevenknowwhatwasaskedforinreturn.”ShelookedatCaymanandseemedtopaleevenfurther,tothepointI

fearedshemightpassoutandtopplefromthechair.“Mypatienceiswearing

thin,”Rothwarned.Paulclearedhisthroatand

appearedtomanup.Partofmewantedtostophimfromspeaking,becausethefeelingthatwhateverhewasgoingtosaywasgoingtobedisastrouswasallconsuming.“Inexchangeforsavingherlife,”hesaid,“weaskedfor

yourfamiliarinreturn.”Isuckedinasharp,

stingingbreathashiswordsbouncedaroundinmyhead.No.Theycouldn’thavemeantwhatIthoughttheydid.Rothslowlyunfoldedhis

arms.“Excuseme?”“Inexchangeforsavingh-

her,weaskedforyourfamiliar,”Paulanswered,hisnervousnessseepingintothe

room.“Thatwasthed-dealwemade.”Dumbfounded,Iturnedto

CaymanandhewasstaringatRoth’sback.“Itoldyouthatyouwouldnotlikewhattheywantedinreturn,butyousaidgive—”“Itoldyoutogivethem

anything,”Rothcutin,voiceharsh.“IknowwhatIsaid.”Caymanflinched,andthen

loweredhisgaze.

“Wait,”Isaid,shakingmyhead.“Youguyscan’tbeserious.Whywouldyouwantoneofhisfamiliars?”Serifinacarefullyslipped

offherchairandstoodbythetable,obviouslyhavingmorecouragethanPaul.“Familiarsareverypowerfulbeings,especiallywhentheybondwithaperson.Theyarelikeasiphon,oraconduit.WhenthePrince’sfamiliarsbond

withsomeoneelse,afteraperiodoftime,thenew—”“Thenewpersontheybond

withwoulddevelopsomeofthoseabilitiesoftheoriginalhost,”Rothinterrupted.“Youwantmytalents.”Sheswallowedthickly.

“That’snotthemainreason.”“That’senoughformeto

hear.”Hesteppedforward,andthegirlshrankback,buthedidn’tmoveanycloser.I

knewRothwasfurious,butIalsoknewthathewouldnotharmher.“You’redemandingalot.”“Adealisadeal,”Paul

saidquietly.“AndIhavethedistinctfeelingthereisnopriceyouwouldn’tpayforthelifewesaved.Whichiswhywedonotwantjustanyfamiliar.Wewerequitespecificinourdeal.”Caymanclosedhiseyes.

“Theywere.Veryspecific.”Rothsneeredinthe

directionofthewitchesasmythoughtsracedtodiscoverawayoutofthis.“Whichone?”Neitherwitchlookedlike

theywantedtospeakthename,butPaulfinallymannedupandsteppedforward.“Wemadethedealforthesnake.”“No!”Thewordburstout

ofmymouthbeforeIcouldstopmyself.IturnedwildeyesonRoth.“NotBambi.Noway.”Rothdidn’tsayanythingas

hestaredatthewitches,hisshouldersimpossiblytensed.“Whycan’titbeadifferent

one?”Idemanded.GivingupThumperorthekittenswouldbehard,butlettinggoofBambiwouldbetheworst.“Whyher?”

“Becausesheisthemostpowerful,”Paulrepliedsimply.“ShehasbondednotonlywiththePrincebutwithyou.Nootherfamiliarhasproventhat.Shehasmoreofachanceofbondingwithoneofourown.”IspuntowardRoth.“No.

Youdon’thavetodothis.Screwit.Theycan’thurtmeoryou.”Well,Iassumedthattheycouldn’t,butwhatever.

“Wedonothavetodothis.”Paulturnedanincredulous

stareonme.“You’dhavehimbreakhisword?”“I’dhaveyoushuttheHell

up,”Isnapped,myhandsclosingintofists.Guiltchurnedinthepitofmystomach.Thiswashappeningbecauseofme.Ihadn’tpurposelygottenmyselfstabbed,butgettinginvolvedwithZaynewithouttruly

questioningwhyI’dbeenabletokisshimhadledtotheincidentofhimkissingme.Whichledtoeverythingelsethathadhappenedafterward.“She’sright.”Cayman

rubbedtheheelofhishandalonghisbruisedjaw.“Roth,she’sright.Youknowthere’sawayoutofthis.Iwouldnot...holditagainstyou.IknowhowmuchBambimeanstoyou,andIknewthat

whenIbrokeredthedeal.”Rothwheeledaroundto

faceCayman.“YoubrokeredthedealbelievingthatIwouldnothonorit?”Caymannodded.Disbeliefflickeredacross

Roth’sface.“YouknowwhatwillhappenifIdonothonorthisdeal.”Caymannoddedonce

more.Rothcursedashereached

upandthrusthisfingersthroughhishairbeforestalkingtowardtheotherdemon.Ibracedmyselfforabrawlofepicproportions,butRothclampedhishandaroundthebackofCayman’shead.“Youstupidsonofabitch,”hesaid,butitwasn’toutofanger.Myheartwrenchedinmychest.PainfilledRoth’stone.“Youwoulddie?Youknowthat’s

whatwouldhappen.Ifyoubrokeradealandit’snotupheld,youdie.”OhGod.“Youwoulddoanythingto

saveher,”Caymanwhispered,meetingRoth’sgaze.“AndIwoulddoanythingtoserveyourbestinterests,evenifthatmeansmydeath.IneverexpectedyoutogiveupBambi,butthat’swhatittookforthemto

saveLayla.Sothat’swhatIpromised.”Myheartmight’vestopped

asthewordssankin.CaymanhadmadethedealknowingthatRothmightnotsurrenderBambi.Hemadeittosaveme,becausethatwaswhatRothwanted.TheloyaltyCaymanfelt

forRothwasheartbreaking.Iturnedtothewitches.

“Youguyscancalloffthe

deal,can’tyou?”Serifinashookherhead.

“Thecronewantsthefemalefamiliar.”“Andthecronegetswhat

shewants,”Paulfinished.Tearsprickedthebackof

myeyes,andIfeltRobinshiftalongmyside,obviouslysensingmywhirlingemotions.Thiswasnotright,notfairatall.Stillholdingthebackof

Cayman’shead,Rothclosedhiseyesbriefly,andthenletgo,pivotingtofacethewitches.Thehardsetofhisjawwould’vesentmanyawisemanscurryingaway.“Shewillnotbeharmed,”

Serifinainsisted,attemptingtoappeaseus.“Shewillbetreatedlikeaqueen.”Hearingthatdidn’thelp,

becausewedidn’tknowthem,andBambi—itwasn’t

likeshebelongedtous.TherewassomuchBambihaddoneforus—forme,andnowweweresupposedtojusthandherovertostrangers?Shewasapartofusandtheywereaskingthatwegiveherup—thatRothgetridofher.IwalkedovertoRoth,

unsureofwhattosay.Oureyesmetforamoment,andthehardglintwasgonejustlongenoughformetoseethe

trueextentoftheturmoilhewasfeeling.Iplacedmyhandonhisarm,andhenodded.“Bambi,”hesaid,hisgaze

stillholdingmine.“Off.”Ididn’twanttoseeit,but

likeallthetimesbefore,Bambicameoffhisskinandspilledintothespacebesidehim,rapidlypiecingtogether.Bambirose,twistinghernecktowardthewitchesbeforenudgingRothinthehip.

Shehadtoknow.Iknewthat,becausethatwashowthebondingworked,andmychestachedasshestretchedover,pokingmyarmwithhersnout.TearsblurredmyvisionasIreachedout,runningmyhandonthesoftscalesbetweenhereyes.“Therehastobesome

otherway,”Isaidhoarsely.“There’snot,”hesaid,his

voicelow.“Caymanisnotat

fault.Hedidwhathewassupposedtodo.”“Iknow.”“AndIwillnotdothatto

him,”hecontinued.“Whendemonsdie,it’snotlikehumans.Itinvolvesthepits.”Thatwouldn’tbefair

either,andeventhoughRothandCaymanhadgoneateachotheryesterdayovermegoingtoHell,thosetwowerefriends.Frankly,Iwaspretty

sureCaymanwasRoth’sonlyfriendoutsideofme,andRothhadtochoosebetweentwobadoptions.GiveupBambitoacovenofwitchesorsentencehisfriendtodeath.BambiturnedtoRothand

roseuptoherfullheight.Sherestedherheadonhisshoulder,andwhensheliftedit,Rothpressedakissbetweenhereyes.“Which

oneofyouisshesupposedtogoto?Idoubtthatyouplanonwalkingoutwithherinthisform.”“No.”Serifinasmoothed

herhandsoverthedarktrousersshewore.“That’swhyI’mhere.”“Isit?”Rothasked,and

thenheraisedhiseyestoher.Whenshenodded,hesmiledcruelly.“Ifyousomuchascauseheradropofpain,I

willknow.AndIdonotcarewhatconsequencesIwillface,Iwillhuntnotonlyyoudown,butyourentirecoven.”“Noharmwillcometo

her,”shepromised.Rothlookeddownat

Bambi,andhetriedtosmile,buthefailed.“Go.”Butthefamiliarhesitated,

andRothhadtotellhertogoagain.AveryrealpainrippedthroughmeasIreachedup,

brushingthebackofmyhandacrossthewetnessgatheringonmycheek.Finally,afterwhatfeltlikemyheartbeingcutoutofmychestandtossedonthefloor,Bambislitheredawayfromus,herheaddown.Rothsteppedforward,asif

hewasgoingtogoafterher,butstoppedhimself.Walkingupbehindhim,Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhiswaist.His

handssettledonmyarms,butinsteadofpullingthemaway,heheldontothem.Pushingupthesleeveof

herthicksweater,exposingherarm,Serifinawaitedwithtrepidationclearlyoozingoutofher.Aboutafootinfrontofher,Bambicameapart,formingathickshadowthatsettledontoherarm.SerifinajoltedasBambi

meldedontoherskin,

clenchingherjawasBambidisappearedunderthesweater.Thegirljerkedandthentwisted,doublingoveratthewaist.Asecondlatershestraightened,herbackbowingasBambiappeared,circlingaroundherneck.Paulcursed,gripping

Serifinabythearms.Bambiletup,though,andIfigureditwasherlittlewarningthatshewasn’tverycoolwiththis.

Thesnakedisappearedbackunderthesweater,andbythesuddenwayherfaceflushed,IdoubtedBambiwascurrentlymakingherselfathomeinaverycomfortableplace.Itwasdone.Neitherofuscouldhave

predictedthis.IgotwhyCaymanhadn’tsaidanythinguptothispoint,becauseIbelievedknowingthatthis

wascomingwould’vebeenaharsherblow.Ormaybenot.Losswasbitterwhetheritwasexpectedorunanticipated.Andthiswasaloss.“Get.Out.Of.Here,”Roth

growled,eyesflashinganintensecrimson.Therewasamomentof

hesitation.PaulandSerifinamovedmorequicklythantheyprobablyeverhad.They

pivotedaround,andIwatchedthemgo,wantingtograbherbrownhairandpullhertothefloor,demandingthattheygiveBambibacktous.ButIcouldn’t.Ademondidnotgoback

onhispromises.Serifinahaltedatthedoors

andturnedbacktowherewestood.Pauldippedhishead,speakingtoolowforusto

hear.Serifinadrewabreathandlookedateachofusinturn.“WeunderstandhowserioustheissuewiththeLilinis.Pleasedonotthinkthatwedon’t.It’swhyweneedthefamiliar.”“BecauseBambiwillhelp

yousurvivetheapocalypse?”Ilaughedhoarsely.“She’samazing,butevenshecan’tdothat.”Painpinchedherface.

“That’snotwhatwethink,butshewillmakeusstronger.Youknowthat.Andshewillprotectusfromallsides,includinghis.”HergazedartedtoRothbriefly.“Hewillmakesurenoharmcomestous,notwhenwehaveher.”Dammit.Shewassoright

andyetitfeltsowrong.“So,she’sahostageinsteadofaqueen?”Ifiredback.

“Let’sgo,”Paulurged.“There’snouseinreasoningwiththem.”“Yes,go.”Rothstepped

forward,chintippeddown.“GobeforeIregretmyactions.”Serifinaappearedtorn,but

sheheldherground.Ihadtoadmireherforthat,becauseRothlookedmurderous,andIwassureIdidn’tlookthatdifferent.“TheLilinhasnot

gonefar,”shesaid,steppingawayfromPaulwhenhewhirledtowardher.“Thereisadarknessgatheringinthecity,onethatwe’veneverseenbefore,butwecanfeelit.”Achillskateddownmy

spineasshecontinued.“Wedonotknowwhatitis,butwhatelsecouldbethecause?Somethingunnaturalisoccurringthere.”

“Thecityisaprettybigplace,”Isaid.“Thatdoesn’treallynarrowitdownforus.”ShelookedatPaul

pointedly.“Tellthem.”Whenhehesitated,sheraisedhervoice.“Iftheydon’tstoptheLilin,therewillbeveryfewplacesanyofuscanhide.Tellthem.”Disgruntledandred-faced,

Pauldrewhisshouldersup.“We’vebeenkeepingaclose

eyeontheChurchofGod’sChildrenforawhilenow.”Ohman,I’dallbut

forgottenaboutthem,whichwasinsane,butalothadbeengoingon.TheChurchdidn’tbelongtoanymainstreamsectsandtheyweresomeoftheworstkindofhumanbeingsI’deverhadthedispleasureofmeeting.Notonlydidtheyhatedemons,theyloathedWardens.

Andtheyreallydislikedme.Itriednottothinkofthe

daytwoofthemhadfollowedusintotheparkinggarage,orhowI’dlostmycool,doingsomethingreallyhorriblethatinvolvedabibleandaman’sface.Myactionshadledtooneoftheirdeaths,andalthoughtheywerereallyterrible,knowingI’dcausedthedeathofahumanwas

hardtoswallow.“Theirfanaticalbeliefs

makethemjustasdangerousasanydemon,”Paulcontinued.“They’vebeenactiveupuntilthispastWednesday.Notasinglememberhasbeenseenorheardfromsincethen.”Hepaused,lipsthinning.“Weinfiltratedthemlongago,butourbrotherhasalsonotbeenincontactwithus.”

“Wearenotfoolishenoughtocheckitout,”Serifinasaid.“Wearetoovulnerabletoputourselvesinharm’sway,butassumingoursuspicionsaretrue,ifyoufindtheChurch,youmayfindthedarkness—andtheLilin.”

twenty-one

THEWHEREABOUTSOFtheChurchofGod’sChildrenwasnosecret.ItsaddresswasplasteredalloverthemanyflyersI’drippeddownfromstorefrontsandtelephonepoles.ItwasnearAdamsMorgan,whichI’dalwaysthoughtwasastrangelocationforthechurchsince

thatneighborhoodwasprettylivelyandknownforitsnightlife.Itwasbecomingmoreandmoreofanentertainmentdistrict,sothebuildingusedasachurchtrulydidstickoutlikeasorethumb.Butwedidn’trushoffto

AdamsMorgan.Thethreeofusremainedin

theemptyclubafterthewitchesleft,takingBambi

withthem.Rothwastheembodimentofbarelyleashedangerashestoodinthecenterofthedancefloor,hishandopeningandclosingrepeatedlyathisside.Hewasthefirstoneto

speak.“IthinkweneedtobesmartaboutthisinsteadofbumrushingtheChurch.IftheLilinreallyisthere,Idoubtit’ssittingandsinginghymnswiththosepeople.”

IglancedatCayman,whostilllookedstrickenbywhathadjusthappened,andthenIrefocused.WhyintheworldwouldtheLilinbewiththem?Andviceversa?“AsmuchasIhateto

suggestthis,weneedtocalltheWardens,”Rothcontinuedashewalkedtowherethewitcheshadsat,pickeduponeofthechairsandcarefully,meticulously,

placeditunderthetable.“Yeah,theirperfectpearlysoulswouldbeatrisk,buttheycouldactasbackup.”“Roth...”Istepped

forward.Heignoredme,fixingthe

otherchair.“WehavethenecessaryweaponstotakeouttheLilin.SodotheWardens.Let’sdothis.”“Roth,”Irepeated,this

timestrongerandlouder.His

dilatedeyeslockedontomine.Theglintinthemwasdownrightmurderous.“Let’sstopforasecond.”“Howaboutwenot?”he

repliedcalmly—toocalmly.Theacheinmychest

tripled.“Whatjusthappened...wehavetoacknowledgethat.”Hislipswerepressedintoa

thin,formidableline.“Dowe?Becausedwellingonit

seemsprettypointless.Whatdoesitchange?”“Itdoesn’tchange

anything,”Isaid,asCaymanturnedsideways,thrustinghishandthroughhisfairhair.“Butwecan’tpretenditdidn’thappen.Bambi—”“Ithinkit’sbestthatI

pretendexactlythat.”Shadowshadbeguntoformunderhisskinashisfeaturessharpened,formingharsh

angles.“BecauseIamthisclosetorippingthatcovenapart,andifIdothat,it’sgoingbackonthedealCaymanmade.”Caymanhunghisheadas

heplacedhishandsonhisleanhips.“Ihadhopedthattheywouldnotcometocollect.”Rothdidn’trespondtothat,

andIdidn’tknowwhattosaytomakethisbetter.Hehad

lostalovedone.Itdidn’tmatterthatthelovedonewasafamiliarwhomostlytooktheformofagiantsnake.ThosetwowerebondedonalevelthatevenIcouldn’tfullycomprehend,andIhadbondedwithBambi.Iplacedmyhandovermyside,whereRobinrested.Iwasalreadybondingwiththefox.“I’msorry,”Isaid.Hisshoulderstensed.

“Whyareyouapologizing?Youdidn’ttakeher.”“Ifanyoneshould

apologize,itisme.Ibrokeredthedeal,”Caymaninterjectedmorosely.“Iknew—”“Youweredoingyour

job,”Rothsnapped,hisangersurfacing.“ItoldyouI’dgiveanything,thereforeyoumadethedeal.Thereisnothingyoushouldbesorryfor.”Iclosedmyeyes,forcing

myselfnottosaywhatIwantedto.Guiltbeatatme,butIknewhedidn’tneedtohearthatfrommerightnow.AsmuchasIwantedtorageaboutlosingBambi,thiswasn’taboutme,andwhateverIfeltwasnothingcomparedtowhatRothhadtobefeeling.Tuckingmyhairback

behindmyears,Ipulledmytatteredemotionstogether,

shovedthemdownandfocused.“Okay.IcanreachouttoZayne.”Rothnoddedandwe

headedbacktohisloftsoIcouldgrabmyphone.Caymandidn’tfollow,andIfeltjustasbadforhimasIdidforRoth.WalkingintohisroomandknowingIwouldneverseeBambislitherherwayovertothepianoagainkickedthebreathoutofmy

chestasIwalkedtomybag,byhisdesk.“She’llbeokay,”Rothsaid

quietlyasIdrewmyphoneout.Iturnedaroundandfoundhimstaringatthepiano.“Iknowshewillbe.Bambiwon’tallowherselftobemistreated.”Ibitdownonmylip.The

backofmythroatburned.Sighing,helookedupat

meandtheangerwasstill

there,brimmingjustbelowthesurface,butsowastheshattereddisappointment.“Ireallyhopethosewitcheswereright,becauseIhavealotofpent-upaggressionIneedtogetoutofmysystem.”“I...”Itrailedoff

helplessly,clutchingthephone.Histhicklasheslowered.

“It’llbeokay.”

Walkingovertohim,Iplacedmyfreehandonhisshoulder,andthenstretchedup,kissinghischeek.Hestiffenedforamoment,andthenhefoldedhisarmsaroundme,buryinghisfaceinthecrookofmyneckforonlythebriefestofmomentsbeforehepulledaway,rubbinghispalmalonghischest.“TextZayne.”Andthat’swhatIdid.

***

RothandIwaitedfortheWardensontherooftopofabankneartheAdamsMorganareaafterthesunhadset.Nervousenergymadeit

hardtostandstill,andRobinwaspickinguponit,racingacrossmystomachlikeitwashisownpersonaldragstrip.Luckily,onlyabouttenminutespassedbefore

movementintheskydrewourattention.Fromadistance,they

lookedlikebirdsofpreyatfirst,asifthey’dswoopdownandsnatchpeoplefromthegroup.Butastheydrewcloser,therewasnomistakingwhattheywere.Eventhosedownonthestreetsbelowwouldbeabletopickoutthedifferences.Icouldalsotellthata

wholecraptonofWardenswerecoming.“Damn,”Imuttered,

stiffening.Rothwasbesidemein

underasecond.Ishouldn’thavebeensurprised.Obviouslywhatwasabouttogodownwasabigdeal,andI’dknownthateventuallyIwasgoingtohavetofacemorethanjustZayne,DezandNicolai.

Butapartofmewasn’tready.Nope.“Thisisgoingtobe

awkward,”Isaid,brushingmyhairbackoutofmyface.“No.”Rothplacedhishand

onmylowerback.“Butitmaybebloody.”Ishothimalook.

“Behave.”“Icannotpromisethat

whatsoever.”

“Thesearenottheonesyouneedtotakeoutyouraggressionon.”Hesmirked.“Letmebethe

judgeofthat.”Thiswassonotgoingtogo

well,butitwastoolatetochangeourplans.ThepearlywhiteglowsfadedandZaynelandedfirst.Inhistrueform,hewasmassive.Hisskinadarkgray,hishornscurvedback,partinghisblondhair.

Notuglyorfrightening,tomeatleast,buthisgazewasanarcticblastasitdriftedoverus,apainfulreminderofhowmuchhadchanged.Iwantedtohidefromthat

gazeandeverythingitdredgedup,butIfoundmyladyballsandheldthemclose.I’dputmyselfinthissituationwithhimandIhadtodealwiththeconsequences.

DezandNicolaiwerenext,followedbytwomoreclanmembers,butitwasthefinalarrivalthatcauseddreadtoexplodelikebuckshotinmystomachandpunchedaharshcurseoutofRoth.Abbotwashere.Theroofshookwhenhe

landedbehindtheclansmenandstraightened,agoodhalfafoottallerthantherest.Withhishairasgoldenashis

son’s,brushingbroadshoulders,he’dalwaysremindedmeofagreatlion.Inaway,Abbotwasking.Foryears,I’dtrembledat

themeresightofhiminhishumanandWardenforms,ashehadbeenthegreatestauthorityI’dknown.Andforyears,I’dstruggledtoobtainthesmallestsliverofpridefromhim.I’dbasicallyoperatedonthetheorythat

anyattentionwasgoodattention,likeapuppy.Now?UnfetteredragewaswhatshookmeandIsureasHelldidn’tcareifhewasproudofthatornot.Abbothadbelievedthe

worstofmewithlittleornoevidencebackingitup.ItwasnowonderwhyI’dhadsuchloserself-esteemandhadalsothoughttheworst.Whilehehadn’tbeentheonewho

shovedafreakingdaggerintomystomach,hehadmecagedlikeananimal,andthenchainedlikeone.Thatwaskindofhardtolet

goof.“Whatishedoinghere?”

Rothqueried,andalthoughthequestionsoundedlikehewasaskingabouttheweather,Iknewhewasn’tnearlythatcalm.Abbotwalkedtothefront,

hisclan—evenhisson—stickingclosetohisside.HisgazedriftedoverRoth,andhebarelymanagedtokeepthecontemptoffhisface,butthenhewaslookingatme,andallthehardlinesofhisgranitefacesoftened.“Layla,I—”“Don’t.”Theonewordthat

burstoutsurprisedme.“Don’tapologize.Ahandfulofwordsdon’tmakeupfor

whatyoudid.”Hedrewhimselfuptohis

fullheight.“IknownothingIsaywillevereraseanyofwhathappened,butI...IregrettheroleIplayedinitall.”Theroleheplayed?Tome,

he’dbeenthefreakingcaptainleadingtheKillLaylaparadedownMainStreet.Abbotwasn’tdone.“You

wereminetoraiseand

protect.Ifailedyou.”“Yes,youdid,”Roth

replied.“Iwon’t,buthere’sthething,andthismessagegoesouttoeveryone.Shedoesn’tneedprotection.Notanymore.”Igotallwarmandfuzzy

uponhearingthat,butthesmugfeelingquicklyevaporatedwhenmygazecaughtZayne’sandhelookedawaywithoutsomuchasa

glimmerofanyemotion.“I’veheardfrommyson

thatyouare...somethingelse.”Abbotspokedirectlytome.“Thatyoudonotlooklikeusanymore.”“I’mnotlikeyou.”My

handscurledintofistsandRobinstartedtogetantsy.“Turnsout,Iwasneverademon.”ThatgotZayne’sattentionandanemotionoutofhim.Surprise.“Yeah,I

havesomedemonicabilities,but...Well,doesanyofthatmatter?”“No,”Zayneanswered,

shockingme.“Itnevermatteredbefore.Nottoanyofus.Itdoesn’tmatternow.”Therewasatugging

sensationinthegeneralvicinityofmyheart.“Yousaidthatyouhavea

leadontheLilin.”Nicolaispokeup,alwaysthe

peacekeeperofthebunch.“ThatitmaybeholedupwiththeChurchofGod’sChildren?”RothwaseyeingAbbot

likehewantedtoriptheWarden’sheadoff,andhewould’ve,backonthenightIhadbeencaptured,ifIhadn’tstoppedhim.“Yes.LaylaandIaregoingtocheckitoutandiftheLilinisthere,we’regoingtoneedbackup.”

“That’swhywe’rehere,”Dezresponded.“Youtelluswhatyouwantustodo.Thisisyourshow.”Abbot’sshoulders

hunched,anditwasobviousthathewasn’thappywiththatdecision.Rothlookedsmugashesaid,“Weneedyoualltostaycloseby.Ifthingsgethairy,you’llknow.”“Howisthat?”Nicolai

asked.

OnesideofRoth’slipscurvedup.“Nitro.Off.”Mygazeshottohimasthe

tinyblackcloudappearedbeforehim.Itdroppedtotherooftop,andthenrapidlypiecedtogether,formingatinykitten.Zayneshookhishead.

“Whatisitwithyouandruntsofthelitter?”“Patience,Stony,

patience.”

BeforeRothfinishedthosewords,thelittleanklebiterincreasedbeforeoureyes.Frailshouldersexpandingintopowerfulhunches.Thebacklengthenedintothickmusclescoveredbysleekwhitefur.Whatstartedoffasasoftgrowlturnedintoamenacing,reverberatingsnarlthatraisedthehairalongthebackofmyneck.Nitrolookedlikeapanther,

ifpantherswerewhite.Goodness.“Nitrowillletyouknowif

thingsgetoutofcontrol,”Rothexplained.“Itwillbeobvious.”Icouldn’tstopstaringat

thecat.Itploppeditsbuttdown,itspinktonguemovingoveritsteeth.Itlookedhungry,andtheWardenslookedvery,veryunhappy,especiallywhenitcoughed

outwhatsoundedsuspiciouslylikealaugh.Rothturnedtome.

“Ready?”“Yep.”Thebladewas

tuckedintomyboot,justlikeRothhadhis.Wewalkedtotheledgeoverlookingthealleybelow.Thefastestwaydownwastojump.Rothshiftedquickly,tuckinghiswingsbacksohedidn’tknockmeofftheedgewith

them.Knowingthatalleyeswere

onus,Iallowedmyownshifttotakeplace.Myskinbuzzedwiththechange,anditwaslikefinallywakingupafterbeingasleepfordayswhenithappened.Mywingsunfurled,arcinghighaboveme,thefeatherstickledbythewind.Someonemurmuredan

expletivebehindus,andit

soundedalotlikeAbbot.IglancedatRothandgrinned.“Meetyoudownthere,”he

said,andjumped.“Show-off,”Imuttered.Insteadofjumping,Isort

ofwalkedofftheledgeandemptyspaceimmediatelyreacheduptograbme.Gravitywasabeast.Thealleyracedtowardme,andIletmywingsspreadout,slowingthedescent.

Ilandedinacrouch,proppinguptofindmyselfateyelevelwithanoldmanwithadirty,unshavenface.“Holymother,”hegasped,

stumblingbackagainstthewallandthenslidingdownit,clutchinghisbrownbagtohischest.Iwincedasmywings

foldedin,disappearing.“Whoops?”Rothchuckled,backtohis

humanform,ashereacheddown,takingmyhand.Isentthepoormananapologeticlook,andthenwehurriedaroundthesideofthebuildingtothemainstreet.Myheartwasthumpingaswejoinedthethincrowdonthesidewalks.“Ihopethatdoesn’tcount

asexposure,”Isaidaswecrossedthestreet.Hesqueezedmyhand.“I

reallythinktheAlphashavebiggerproblemstodealwithrightnow.”Thenheshrugged.“Andseriously,youshould’veseenthelookontheman’sfacewhenhesawme.Thatwaskindoffunny.”Ishookmyhead,buta

littlegrinpeekedthrough.Rothwasinafarbettermoodthanhehadbeenimmediatelyafterthewitcheshadleftwith

Bambi.Distractinghimselfwithwhatlayaheadwasworkingforhimanditwasastrangethingtobegratefulfor,butIwas.“Thereitis,”Isaid,two

buildingsdownfromthebuildinghousingtheChurch.Hearchedadarkbrowas

hestudiedthefour-storystructure.“Havethewindowsalwaysbeenlikethat?”Inoddedasadoortothe

buildingwestoodinfrontofopened.Ablastofmusicandlaughterfollowedtheyoungmanout.Hisaurawasasea-mossgreen,swirlingsmoothlyashehunkereddowninhisjacket,headingintheoppositedirection.“Yeah,”Ianswered.“They’vealwayshadthewindowscoveredfromtheinsidesoyoucouldn’tseeanything.Itjustaddstothe

shadiness,doesn’tit?”Hesnorted.“Remember

theguywhothrewholywateronyou?”Irolledmyeyes.“Not

somethingI’dforget.”“Ireallyhopehe’sin

there.”“Ohdear,”Imurmured.“YouknowwhatIjust

thoughtof?”Ilookedathim.“What?”Someofthemischievous

sparklewasbackinhisambergaze.“Ididn’tgettodefloweryouinmyPorsche.”“OhmyGod.”Igapedat

him.“Whatintheworldmadeyouthinkofthatrightnow?”“It’scalledmultitasking.”

Hewinked.“AndIstillplanonbreakingthatbabyin,justsoyouknow.”“You’reridiculous.”

Slippingmyhandfree,I

startedtowardthebuildingandthegrinIwasrockingfadedlikeanoldmemoryassoonaswenearedthedoor.“Doyoufeelthat?”“Feelslikehome.”Iignoredthat,becauseI’d

beentoHell,andHelldidn’tevenfeellikethis—likeagallonofoilhadbeendumpedoverourheads.Walkingwaslikepushingthroughslime.Itwasthickin

theair,aheavyevilthathadtobewhatthewitcheshadbeentalkingabout,andneverinmylifehadIfeltanythinglikethis.Rothedgedaroundme,

reachingthehandleofthedoor.“Locked.”Hetwistedsharply,likehe’ddoneinthebasementoftheschoolwhenwe’dbeenhuntingdownthesourceofaveryrotten,demonicsmell,snappingthe

lockwhilehittingitwithadoseofnotsoheavenlyheat.“Andunlocked.”Themomentheopenedthe

door,thesmellaboutknockedusbackagoodthreefeet.“OhmyGod.”Ismacked

myhandovermymouth,clampingdownonmygagreflexasIglancedaroundthedimlylitlobby.“Jesus,”mutteredRoth,his

lipspeelingbackina

grimace.Thescentwasthatofmeat

leftouttoolongmixedwithsomethingIcouldn’tquiteplace.Worsethansulfuroradirtybackalleyinthecity.Carefully,Iloweredmyhand,tryingtonotbreathethroughmynose.Ifthesmellwasanyindication,thingswerereally,reallybadhere.Behindthevacant

receptionistdesk,therewasa

hugebannerhanging.CrudelydrawnWardens,wholookedmorelikeovergrownbatsthangargoyles,wereoneithersideofthewordsTHEENDISNIGH.“Socliché.”Rothstarted

aroundthedesk,towarddouble,windowlessdoors.“You’dthinkthey’dcomeupwithsomethingnew.”Ifollowed,disappointed

thatthesmellwasgetting

worse.“Buttheendisnigh.”“You—”heglancedover

hisshoulderatmeashereachedthedoubledoors“—areadorable.”Iwould’vesmiledatthat,

butthedoorshadopened,andallIcoulddowaspressmylipstogethertokeepfromhurlingalloverRoth’sback.Candleswereeverywhere,

castingaflickering,softlightthroughoutalargeatrium-

styleroomthathadbeenconvertedintoaplacewheresermonswouldbeheld,completewithpewsandthechancel,araisedplatform.Thepewsweren’tempty.Theywerealsothesource

ofthewretchedsmell.Theywerefullofbodies.

twenty-two

IDREWINadeepbreath,andwhileIimmediatelyregrettedit,thestenchwasovershadowedbythehorrorofwhatwewerestaringupon.Dozensanddozensof

bodieswerescatteredthroughoutthepews,someslumpedoverwhileothers

werestillsittingup,theirheadsfallenback,jawsslackedopen.Theywereinvariousstatesofdecomposition.ForasmuchasI’dexperiencedinrecentmonths,neverinmylifehadIseenanythinglikethis.“GoodGod,”Isaid,

horrified.Rothstiffenedas

movementnearthechanceldrewourattention.Ithad

beenvacantmomentsbefore,butnowafigurestoodinfrontofthealtar.Iwinced.ItwastheLilin—andhe’dtakentheformofSamoncemore.“Ithinkthisis

appropriate,”theLilinsaid,spreadingitsarmsupathissides.“Ihaveacongregationofthedead.”“Mostpeoplewouldaim

higher,”Rothsaid,eyeingthe

carnagewithdistaste.“Iamnotmostbeings,

now,amI?”Itgrinnedslightlyfromitselevatedperch.“I’vebeenwaitingforyoutocome,sister.”“Iamnotyoursister,”I

grittedout.“Acceptanceisthefirst

stepofrecovery,orsotheysay.”TheLilinwalkedtotheedgeofthechancelandcrouched.“You’rehereto

helpme.”Thatwasn’tsomucha

question,butIansweredanyway.“No.I’mheretostopyou.”Thethingchuckled

smoothly.“Youcannotstopme.NeithercanthePrince.”“Iwouldn’tputmoneyon

that,”Rothretorted.Milkywhiteeyesdriftedto

RothastheLilinsmiledmysteriously.“Iguesswe

willseeaboutthat,won’twe?”TheLilin’sgazefoundmine.“Weneedtofreeourmother.Itisatravestythataforcesuchassheshouldremainchained.Weareinthistogetherand—”“Youcanstopthesales

pitchrightthere,”Iinterrupted.“Thereisnothingthatyoucansaythatwillswayme.Youwon’tbeabletofreeLilith.Don’tyou

understandthat?Nothingwillfreeher.AfterPaimonattemptedtodoso,extraordinarymeasureswereputinplacetopreventherfromgettingout.”“True,”remarkedRoth,

rathersmugly.“TheBosshasheronlockdown.It’snotgoingtohappen.”“Thatiswhereyouare

wrong,”theLilinrespondedfromitsperch.“IfIsucceed

inraisingHelltoEarth,noonedowntherewillbepayingattentiontoLilith.Shewillbetheleastoftheirworries.”Muscleslockedupall

alongmyback.“IfyoubringHelltoEarth,theAlphaswillstepin.Theywillwipeusallout,includingyou.”“It’snotliketheycan

throwamagicswitchandthenwe’regone.”

Rothsighed.“Ithasapointthere.”“That’snothelping,”Isaid

undermybreath.“TheAlphaswillfightus

andwewillfightback,eventhosewhodonotwanttoseeLilithfreeorforHelltoopenitsgates.Theywillfight,”theLilincontinued.“AsIwill,andwhileweallarefightingtosurvive,theworldwillfallapart.IfIcannotfreeour

mother,thenItrulyhavenothingtolose.”WhatGrimhadwarnedme

aboutwascomingtrue,butitreallywasn’tasurprise.TheLilinreallyhadnothoughtsofitsown.AllitwasconcernedwithwasfreeingLilith,andifitcouldn’thavethat,thenitwouldsettleforchaosandabsolutedestruction.TheLilinrosefluidly.

“Youwillsee.Intheend,youwillhavenochoicebuttohelpme.”Thedarknessalongthe

wall,whichhadbeenstillandunnoticeableatthispoint,suddenlymoved.Thickshadowsshiftedandgrew,slippingupandovertheceilinglikeamuddyoilslick.Thestenchoftheroomrose,buttheevilinitbecamesuffocating.Therewasthe

sourceofthedarknessandwe’dbeenstandinginthemiddleofittheentiretime.“Wraiths,”Igasped,

steppingback.Theyswarmedacrossthe

ceiling,likesomethingstraightoutofahorrormovie,andthendroppedtothefloor,amongthebenches.Butthatwasn’tall.Wecouldseethewallnow,

couldseethattherewere

severalstatueslinedup.Theylookedlikethestonegargoylesperchedatopsomanyofthecity’sbuildings,butcruder,moregrotesquethantherealthing.Somelookedlikegoblins.Otherswerepartlionandafewlookedlikebirds.Notthehappy,dovekind.Morelikepterodactyls.Therewereabouttwentyofthestatues.“Theycreatedthemoutof

stone.”TheLilingesturedatthebodiesinthepews.“Sobizarre.Theyusedthemasareminderoftheeviltheysobadlywantedtofight.Ironic.”Aheartbeatpassed.Thefirstrowofpewsshot

upstraightintheair,shatteringapartandsendingbodiesineverydirection.Thesecondrowfollowedandthenthethird,thefourth...

Boardswereflying,alongwithpiecesofthoseleftbehind.Eachburstofpewswasacrackofthunder.“Somebodybettercallthe

Ghostbusters,”Rothmuttered.“Becausewedon’thavetimeforthis.”Iwould’velaughed,

wantedto,butapieceofwoodwingeditswayinmydirection.Idippeddown,narrowlyavoidinggetting

plowedover.Theboardsmashedintothewallbehindus.Ishiftedimmediately,

welcomingthechange.Rothdidthesameashejumped,snatchingaratherlargepieceofboardoutoftheair.Snappingitinhalf,hetosseditdown.Sparksflewandflames

rosefromthefarthestcornerastheknocked-overcandles

startedafireamongthedebris.Reachingdown,I

withdrewthedaggerfrommyboot,andthenstarteddownthecenteraisle,towardthechancel.Thewraithsdidn’tlikethat.Theycameatme.Shapedlikehumans,butnomoresubstantialthansmoke,theyweretrickybeaststofight.Onemanagedtogetaholdofmyhair,yankingmy

headback.IhissedasItwistedoutofthewraith’sgrip.TheLilinshouted

somethinginanancient,guttural-soundinglanguagethatmeantnothingtome,butthewraithsresponded.Theypulledback,andthendartedtothewalls.“Ohcrap,”Rothsaid.“It’s

abouttogetugly.”Ididn’thavetowaitlong

toseewhathemeant.Thewraithshitthestatues,drapingthemselvesoverthemlikeablanket.Ididn’tknowwhattheyweredoing,buteveryinstincttoldmeIwasn’tgoingtolikeit.Theshadowspulsed,and

thentheydisappeared,seepingintothestatues,wigglingtheirwaythroughthecracksandopenings.Somewraithsremainednear

theceilings,theirformstwistingandtrembling.Agreatandterrible

shudderworkeditswaythroughthebuilding,scatteringthebrokenboardsandbodies,andtheshudderturnedintoagroancutoffbythesoundofstonegrindingagainststone.Thenthestatuesmoved.“Whatinthe...?”Isaid.Rothgrowledlowinhis

throatasthethingsstraightenedandstretched,asifwakingupfromaslumber.Thelion-shapedgargoylethrewitsheadback,lettingoutadeafeningroarthatwassorealistic.Agoblin-likegargoyle

pushedawayfromthewall.Onlyaboutfivefeettall,itsfootstepsthunderedasitracedtowardRoth,cacklinginalow-pitchedvoice.

Rothsteppedtotheside,spinningaround.Hegrabbedthegoblin’sarm,andthenshottotheceiling.Arcingswiftly,Rothflewbackdownataharrowingrate,slammingthegoblinintothefloor.Thefloordentedasthe

stonecreatureshatteredintolargechunks,releasingthewraith.Theblackshadowpouredoutoftheremains,knockingRothbackseveral

feet.Myfamiliarshiftedonmy

stomach,peelingitselfoffbeforeIcouldstopit.Robinappeared,atfirstthesizeofafoxandthenhegrew,takingonthesizeofaDoberman,andboy,thatwasfreaky.Robindarteduptheaisle,

hisoverlylargebutsleekbodymovingincrediblyfast.Hejumped,snatchingthetailendofthewraith,draggingit

backdown.Mymouthdroppedopen.Ihadnoideathatfamiliarscouldtouchwraiths,butRobinwasn’tjusttouching.Hewasshakinghisheadlikeapitbullwithaneveningsnack,whirlingthewraithfromsidetoside.Theotherstatues

convergedonus,andinaminute,IlostsightofRoth.Knowingthatthebladewoulddonothingagainst

thesethings,Isheatheditbackinmyboot.Shriekingfromtheceiling,

thepterodactyl-typegargoyledive-bombedme,itsbeakopeningasifitplannedonswallowingmewhole.Ijumpedtotheside,butthebirdtwisted,andthat’swhenIsawitstail.Itcaughtmeinthehip,knockingmeover.Ihittheground,myhands

landinginsomethingwetand

sticky.Isodidn’twanttothinkaboutthatasIpushedmyselfoffthefloorandstaredthroughthecurtainofmyhair.Thecreaturedivedatmeagain,andIrolledontomyback.Usingmylegs,Ipulledthemup,andthenswungthembackdown,poppingupinacrouch.Thebirdcameatmeagain,

butthistimeIwasbetterprepared—Ilaunchedupand

caughtoneofitswings.TappingintothestrengthI’dalwayshadinme,butneverreallyused,nevertrulyunderstood,Ibrokethewingnearthesmallhorn.Screeching,thebird

spiraleddowntothefloor,crashingintothedestroyedpews.Pickingupaboard,Ifollowedittowhereitrolledtoastop,atthefootofthechancel.Iraisedtheboard

andasthestonecreaturerosetoitshindlegs,Ismackedtheboardintoitshead.Woodbrokeandstoneshatteredfromtheneckup.Therestofthestatuetoppledoverasblacksmokepouredtowardtheceiling,remindingmeofthatTVshowSamhadgottenmeaddictedto.Spinningaround,Icaught

sightofRothkickingoneofthestatuesintothewall,and

thentwistingtocatchtheonebehindhim.Hemovedwithbrutalgrace,destroyingeverythingthatcamewithintouchingdistanceofhim.Robinhadcornered

anotherwraith,soIturnedtotheraisedplatform,wheretheLilinstoodsurveyingthecarnage.Hesmileddownatme,somuchlikeSamthatIwantedtogetupthereandbeattheever-loving—

Astatueslammedintome,throwingmeseveralfeetintotheair.Mywingsexpanded,stoppingmefrombeingthrownagainstthewalllikeoneofRoth’sstatues.Ihoveredforamoment,spyingthelioncreature.Itwasmassive,its

powerfulmusclescoilingandtensingasitstalkedtowardme,mouthopentorevealstonefangs.

ThatwasonecreatureIdidnotwanttogetaholdofme.TurningtowardtheLilin,I

landedonthechancel,andasIexpected,theliondidn’tcometowardme.Itbackedawayjustasthedoubledoorsexplodedopen.Wardenswerehere.“Perfect,”theLilinsaid,its

smilespreading.Ishottowardit,butthe

Lilindodgedme,jumpingoff

theplatform.Cursingundermybreath,Ifollowed.ImadeittwostepsbeforeRothappearedbesideme,grabbingmyarmandspinningmetotheleft,outofthewayofanothergoblin-lookingcreature.“Thanks,”Imuttered.“Mypleasure.”Rothshot

up,andthendrewbackfromthethickeningcloudofsmokefromthefire.“We

needtogetoutofherebeforethiswholeplacegoesup.”Firewaslickingitswayup

thewalls,hungryasitconsumedeverythingittouched.Asectionoftheceilinghadalreadycomedown.StalkingtowardtheLilin,I

stoppedanddippedasanotheroneofthepossessedstonecreaturesmadearunatme.Itsmeatyhandssnagged

myshirt,butIjerkedback,breakingitshold.Spinningaround,Ikickedout,plantingmyfootintoitschestandknockingitback.Armsflailing,itfellback

intotheflames,butimmediatelycamebackout,thistimeonfire.“GoodGod,”Igroaned,

crouchingdown,andthenjumpingoutofitsgrasp.Landingseveralfeetaway

fromit,IcaughtsightofRobindartingbetweenthebrokenpews,chasingafterawraith.Thefierycreatureveered

off,distractedbyNicolai.TheWardeneasilyavoidedit,listeningwhenRothshoutedinstructionsonhowtobreakthemapart.IturnedbacktotheLilin,seeingthatithadreachedoneoftheWardens,intentonfeeding.Outofthe

cornerofmyeye,IsawAbbothadoneofthecreaturesbytheneck.Pickingupspeed,Iraced

uptheaisle,aimingtopowerbombthejerk,butitwhippedaroundatthelastmoment,sawmeandlauncheditselfatme.Therewasnostoppingthecollision.Wesmackedintoothers

andhitthefloor,rollingseveraltimes,comingtoa

stopafewfeetfromthefire,withtheLilinontop.Itsmileddownatme.“Giveup.”“Notgoingtohappen.”

Liftingmylegs,Icircleditswaistandthrewmyweightbehindtheturn,flippingitoffme.Imoved,raisingthedagger,secondsfromplungingitdeepintoitssmirkingface.Somethingcrashedinto

me,knockingmetothesideandchasingtheairoutofmylungs.Risingup,Icameface-to-facewiththedamnlion.BeyonditandtheLilin,IsawZaynecreepingupthecenteraisle,adaggerinhishand.SlowlyIbackedup,eyesonthedisturbinglysharpclaws.TheLilinlaughed.“Doyou

likemypet?”“Doyoulikethis?”Zayne

growled,bringingdownthe

daggerinawideswoop.TheLilinwhirledand

twistedatthewaist,butwasn’tfastenough.Thedaggerhitafewscantinchesabovetheheart.Mybodyspasmedandthe

daggerfellfrommyfingersasanintense,breath-stealingfireexplodedinsideme.Screamingattheburstofsuddenunexpectedpain,Istumbledbackandtripped

overaleg—humanorstone,Icouldn’tbesure—andIhitthefloor.Itriedtodraginair,butmylungsseized.Iglanceddown,sawthatalineofredwasbleedingthroughmysweater,justabovemyheartandclosertomyshoulder.Whatthe...?Rothspuninmidair.His

wideeyesmovedfrommetotheLilin,thentoZayne,who

raisedthedaggeragain.Ipressedmyhandjustbelowmyshoulder,stanchingtheflowofbloodasIstruggledtomyfeet.“No!”Rothshouted,

changingdirection.“Zayne!No!”HehitthegroundbesideZayne,slamminghimintheshoulderandforcinghimbackseveralsteps.Hereachedup,graspingthewristthatheldthedaggerashe

staredintothebewilderedfaceofZayne.“Stop.”TheLilinchokedouta

laughasitstaggeredtotheside,comingclosetotheflames.Bloodpoureddownitschestasitheavedforbreath.“Youkillme,”itgruntedout,“youkillher.”

twenty-three

THELILIN’SWORDSbouncedaroundinmyhead,buttherewaslittletimetofocusonthem.Thedoorsburstbehindmeandthefightspilledoutintothelobbyandthesmokebecametoodensetoseeorbreathe.Thefireragedoutofcontrol.Zaynetorehimselffreeof

RothastheLilinbackedintothesmoke,disappearingfromsight.Iturned,doublingoverastheburningsensationinmyshoulderspread.Isearchedthemessformyfamiliar,panickedwhenIcouldn’tseebeyondtwofeetinfrontofme.“Robin,”Icalledout,

grittingmyteethagainstthepain.Hecameoutfromthe

cloudofsmoke,shrinkinginsizeasheracedtowardme.Jumpingup,hehitmyhand,andthentooktheformofmytattoo.Rothwassuddenlybesideme,wrappinganarmaroundmywaist.Zaynewasonmyother

side,hisfacemarkedwithconfusionashesawthebloodonmyshirt.Wemovedoutoftheroom,hittingthelobby.There,Dezandoneofthe

stonecreaturesweredukingitout,goingfisttofistuntilanotherstonegargoylecamethroughthedoors,slammingintoDez’swaist,throwinghimthroughthewindow.Glassshattered,andthenthefightwasoutside,inthestreet.Nicolaiwasinfrontofus,

hisgazedartingbackandforth.“Whathappened?”“Idon’tknow.Istabbed

theLilinandthishappenedtoher.Youneedtoshiftintoyourhumanform,”Zaynesaidaswesteppedoutintothefresher,cleanernightair.“Bothofyou.Youstandouttoomuch.”RothshiftedbackbeforeI

did.Ittookamoment,becauseadrenalinewaspumpingwaytoofastinmysystem,butmywingsfoldedinandwhenIliftedahand,

pushingmyhairbackfrommyface,Isawinsanity.Peoplestreamedintothe

streetsfromthebarsandbuildingsnearby.Intheirpanicked,terrifiedstate,theyprobablycouldn’ttellthedifferencebetweentheWardensandgargoyles.Alltheysawwasabrutalbattle.Screamsrose,asdidthesmoke.Itnowpouredoutofthebuilding.

Thefirehadspread,reachingthetopfloorsoftheChurch’sheadquartersandjumpingtotheroofsofthebuildingsnexttoit,givingtheskyaburnt-orangetint.“I’mokay.”Pushingdown

thepain,IsteppedawayfromRothandZayne.“Where’s—?”BeforeIcouldfinishthe

question,thedamnlionexplodedoutofthebuilding.

IthadsprungitselfintotheairandnowhitZayneinhisback.Thetwoofthemfellintoaparkedcar.Metalcrunchedundertheircombinedweight.Theyrolled,takingoutthewindshield.“Stayoutofthefight,”

Rothsaid,andIdidn’tgetachancetorespond.Inhishumanform,heranovertowherethelionhadZayne

pinnedonthehood.Eveninhishumanform,

Rothwasaforcetobereckonedwith.Hegrippedthelion’sshouldersandhauleditback.Twisting,hetossedthecreature.Acabracingdownthe

streetslammedonitsbrakes,butnotintimetoavoidtakingadirecthit.Thelionslammedintothepassenger-sidedoor,tippingthecabup

onitssideevenasthelionlandedonitsfourstonepaws.Thatthingwouldnotdie.Withoutwarning,ahot

gustofairblewintomyback,andIturned,spyingthestonecreaturethathadbeenonfire.Disregardingthepain,Ispunoutbeforeitcouldgrabme.Dezappeared,hiswings

stirringtheashsettlingaroundontheground.Helandedinacrouch,andthen

rose.Withtheepickickofthecentury,heknockedthecreaturebackintothebuilding.BeforeIcouldsomuchashigh-fivehimforthat,anotheroneslammedintohim.Iturned,spyingtheLilinas

itstumbledoutoftheburningwreckageofthebuilding,itsfacecoveredwithsoot.Oureyeslocked,andthenitpivoted,startingtorundown

thestreet.Iwasn’teventhinkingasIracedafterit.Becauseitwasinjuredfar

morethanme,Iimagined,Icaughtuptoit.Ilaunchedmyselfatit,slammingmygoodshoulderintoitsback.TheLilinwentdown,meontopofit.Itimmediatelybucked,butIwasn’thavingit.Ishovedmyhandatthe

backofitshead,forcingit

down,butitfoughtmeasIplantedmykneesoneithersideofitships.Itmanagedtoliftitshead.“Areyoutrulythisstupid?Youcan’tkillmewithoutkillingyourself.Weareinthistogether.”Mystomachdroppedathis

words.“Thatdoesn’tmeanIcan’tbeatthecrapoutofyou!”Islammeditsheadbackdownandstarsexplodedbehindmyeyes,causingme

tocryout.“God,”Igrunted.“Idiot.”Itwheezedouta

laugh.“Youhavetolearneverythingthehardway.”Uncaringatthispointifit

hurtme,Icockedbackmyarmandslammedmyfistintoitsribs.Ibarelyfeltthatnewkissofpain.Iswungbacktodeliveranotherpunchthatwasprobablygoingtohurtmemorethanit,butthatwouldgivemeasicksenseof

satisfactionwhenalowgrumblestoppedme.Lookingovermyshoulder,

IsighedwhenIspottedthelion.“You.Again.”TheLilinrearedup,

knockingmeoffit.Ihitmyback,andwasslowtogettomyfeet,myeyesfastenedonthenewthreat.IwasawareoftheLilinrunningoff,butIdidn’tdaregivechase.Itdidn’tseemlikeanyofthese

monstershadgottenthemessagethatkillingmekilledtheLilin.Thelionstalkedme,itsstonetailswinging.Thattailhitanothercar,shatteringawindow.Someoneshouted,butI

didn’tknowwhothesourcewas.Thelioncrouched,preparingtoattack,andIknewthiswasgoingtoseriouslyhurt.Itlaunchedintotheair,andallIcould

seewasitsclaws.Madeofstone,theywerehuge.Butsuddenly,therewasamassiveWardeninfrontofme.Tallandbroad,hisgoldenhairwasasbrilliantasareallion’s.TheWardentookthedirect

hitintheupperbodyandstaggeredundertheforceoftheattack.Igaspedashegrippedthesidesofthecreature’sheadwhilethe

monsterduginwithitsclaws,rippingthroughthegranitetextureoftheWarden’sskin,sprayingblood.Withashatteringcrack,the

Wardentwistedthecreature’sheadcleanoff.Darkshadowsjoinedthecrowdingsmoke,butthecreaturewasdown,finally.TheWardenturnedtome,

andterrorseizedmeasIlockedeyeswithAbbot.The

vibrantbluebrokefreeashisskinstartedtopink,revealingthehorroroftheinjuries,theruthlessextentofthedamage.“No,”Iwhispered,

steppingforward.Abbotopenedhismouth,

buttherewerenowords,justairbubblingthroughhistornneck.Hislegscavedunderhim,andIshotforward,tryingtostophisfall.Butwithhisweightandmy

injury,itwasauselessendeavor.Webothwentdownonthesidewalk.HelandedonhisbackandIbesidehim.Therewassomuchblood.Iclampedmyhandsonhis

neckasIliftedmyhead,scanningthestreetasIscreamedforhelp.Idon’tevenknowwhoIscreamedfor,butRothfinallyemergedfromthesmoke,hissteps

falteringashesawwhatwasleftofthelioncreatureandofAbbot.Iscreamedagain,thistimeforZayneandthenforDez,forNicolai,becausesomeonehadtohelphim.Someoneneededto.Rothsteppedaround

Abbot’slegsandkneltbesideme,hishandsreachingformine.“Whatareyoudoing,Layla?”Hisvoicewashoarse,andwhenIlookedat

him,Isawabruiseformingalonghisjaw.“Whatareyoudoing?”Ithoughtitwasobvious.

“I’mstoppingtheblood.I’m—”“Layla.”Heshookhishead

ashewrappedhishandsaroundmine.“It’stoolate.”“No,”Isaid,glancing

downatAbbot—atthemanwhohadraisedme,whohadbetrayedme,buthad

ultimatelysavedme.Itcouldn’tbetoolate.Abbot’seyes,onceso

vibrantandblue,wereadullshadeandfixedon...onnothing.Therewasnoauraaroundhim,nomatterhowhardItriedtoseeit.ButIsawthattheinjurieswerenotlimitedtojusthisthroat.Hischest...“OhGod.Oh.God,no.”Rothpulledmyhands

back,andIdidn’tfighthim,becausehehadbeenrightandtherewasnopoint.Itwastoolate.MyheadrebelledatwhatIwasseeing,atwhathadhappenedsoquickly.Outofthesmokeand

chaos,otherswerecomingtowardus.FirstNicolai,andhehaddrawnupshort,andthentheonepersonIdidn’twanttoseethis,butthatIwasalsotoolatetostop.

Zaynesawhisfather.Hefelltokneesonthe

othersideofAbbot,andhereachedforhisfather,butstopped,hishandshoveringoverAbbot’sstill,ruinedchest.Hetrembled.“Father?”Therewasnoanswer.

Thereneverwouldbe.Timeseemedtostop,and

noonemoved,andIheardnosoundeventhoughtherehadtobescreamsandshouts,

sirensandflamescracklingasthefiredevouredthebuildings.TherewasnothingbutZaynestaringdownathisfatherwithhorroretchedintohisface.Therewasjustnothingbut

Zayne.IclamberedfreeofRoth

andcrawledaroundAbbot.IcametoZayne’sside,dippedunderhiswingsandwrappedmyarmsaroundhim.He

shooksofiercelythatmyteethrattled,butIheldon,andwhenZaynereacheddownandgrippedmyarms,hedidn’tpullmineaway.Heheldonsohe...sohewasn’talone.Abbotwasdead.

twenty-four

THENEXTHOURwasablur.IrememberedZayneand

NicolaigentlygatheringupAbbot’sbodyandgettinghimintoalargeSUVIwasn’tevensurebelongedtoanyofthem.Irememberclimbinginwiththem,alongwithRoth.Irememberedhearingsirens

andseeingflashingblueandredlightsasNicolainavigatedthecrowdedstreetfullofdestroyedcarsandpanickedpeople.Thenwewereatthe

compound,aplaceIhadn’tthoughtI’deverreturnto,andtherewasGeoffandJasmineandDanika.EachoftheirfaceswasmarkedwithshockedhorrorasAbbotwascarriedoutofthecarandinto

thehouse.ButitwasMorriswho

killedmyheart.Ithadbeensolongsince

I’dseenhim,theWardens’manofallwork,andIhadtostopmyselffromrushingovertohimwhenhewalkedoutofthekitchen,sadnessetchedintothedeepgroovesofhisface.Whenhesawme,hesmiledslightly,butitdidn’treachthosedark,

soulfuleyes.Jasmine—practical,fast-

thinkingJasmine—hadgrabbedasheetandlaiditoutonthefloor.Abbothadbeenplaceduponit,andMorrishadtakenholdoftheedges,wrappingthemaroundAbbot,formingadeathshroud.Zayneremainedbyhis

father’sside,hisheadbowed,andIremainedcloseby,justincaseheneededme.I

wasn’tsureifhehadneedofmeorwhatIcoulddoforhim,butI’ddowhateverIcould.RothandIwereforgottenasthemembersoftheclandriftedinandoutoftheroom.IlearnedwhenDezphoned

inthatallthestonecreatureshadbeendestroyedandthatheandtheotherWardenswerecurrentlyhuntingdownthewraithstheLilinhad

created.FromwhatIheard,theywerealsotryingtodosomedamagecontrolamongthehumans.Someofthepeopleonthestreetshadseenthewraiths,andtothem,wraithswouldlooklikestereotypicalghosts...alevelofexposuretheWardensdidn’twanttorisk.Dezwasgoingtohavetodoalotoffasttalkingtoconvinceeveryonethathadn’tbeen

whatthey’dseen.Luckily,thosewho’dbeenatthescenehadn’tbeenabletotellthestonecreaturesapartfromtheWardens.Itwasgoingtobeamess.

Itwasamess,andonlytimewouldtellhowbad,butIdoubtedanyofuswasreallythinkingbeyondthismoment.“Whydon’tyousitdown?”

Rothasked,hiseyesfullofconcern.

IshookmyheadasIshiftedmyweightfromonefoottotheother.“I’mokay.”Helookedatmeandthen

towhereZaynewas.IcouldtellRothwantedtosaymore,butwasforcinghimselftostayquiet.Finally,afterwhatfeltlike

forever,Zaynepulledtheremainingfoldsoftheblankettogether,coveringAbbot’sface.

“Areyouready?”Geoffaskedstoically.Zaynepressedhishands

intohisthighsandstood.“Yes.”Nicolaisteppedforward

andthemenliftedAbbot’sbody,carryinghimoutoftheroom.MyheartstartedtopoundandIknewtheyweregoingtotakehimsomewheremoreprivate,topreparehisbody,tocleanhimupasbest

theycould.Wardens—whentheydied,

theirbodiesdidwhatanyhumanbodywoulddo,buttheprocesswasfasterforthem.Withinaday,therewouldbenothingreallyleftbeyondbones.Thatwaswhytheyburnedtheirdead.Hourshadpassedbythe

timeDezandtherestoftheclanreturned,andeventhoughmylegs,myentire

bodyfeltnumb,IwastherewhenAbbotwasliftedupthehastilymadepyreandIwastherewhenZaynecarefullyplacedalittorchatthefeetofhisfallenfather.IwastheretoseeNicolaiplacehisarmaroundDanika’sshoulders.Iwastherewhennothing

butashremained.Whenitwasallover,Roth

carefullyplacedhisarmaroundmywaist,startling

me.Itwasn’tthatI’dforgottenthathewasthere,butIwas...Iwassimplyoutofit.Lookingback,I’dprobablybefascinatedbythefactthattheCrownPrinceofHellhadbornewitnesstotheritualisticfuneralofaWarden.Rothguidedmebackinto

thehouse,butwedidn’tmakeitveryfarbeforeJasmineappearedinfrontofus.

Sadnessradiatedfromhereverypore,butalookofsteelydeterminationhadsettledonherbeautifulface.“Comewithme,”she

ordered,turningtowardthestairs.WhenIdidn’tmove,Roth

tookmattersintohisownhands.Orarms.Turningtome,hethrustonearmundermykneesandinthenextbreath,Iwasupoffmyfeet

andcradledagainsthischest.“Whatareyoudoing?”I

demanded.“You’vebeenonyourfeet

thiswholetimeandyouwereinjured.”Hestartedforthestairwell,behindJasmine.“Don’ttellmethatyou’refine.LetJasminelookyouover.”Istartedtoprotest,buthe

wasalreadyhalfwayupthestairs,andithitmerightthen

—everythingthathadhappenedinthelastcoupleofdays.Exhaustiongrabbedholdofmeanddidn’tletgo.ItdugindeepandIwaswearytomyverybones.Jasminestoppedinfrontof

whatusedtobemybedroom,andwhenthedooropened,awaveofnostalgiasmackedintome.IlookedaroundasRothwalkedmetotheperfectlymadebedandset

medown.Helingeredclose,sittingontheotherside.Nothinghadreallybeen

touchedwiththeexceptionofthebedbeingmade,becausethatseriouslyhadn’tbeenme.Mydeskwasstillclutteredwithnotebooks,loosepapersandbooks.Theclosetdoorwasajar,revealingthemessofclothinghalfdanglingoffitshangersandstrewnaboutthefloor,mixedamong

collegeapplications.Itwastooweirdbeingback

here.Ilookedoveratthe

windowAbbothadonceboltedshutandsawthedollhouse.Mychestcontracted,becauseIcouldn’thelpbutthinkofthepast—ofZayne.Inafitofrage,Ihaddestroyedthedollhouse,andhehadrebuiltitbacktoitsformerglory.Thedollhouse

alsoremindedmeofhowBambihadmadeitherhome.Tearscloggedthebackof

mythroat,butIdidn’tletthemfall.Instead,IfocusedonJasmine,who’dputvariousherbsandherbagoftorturedevices,otherwiseknownasasewingkit,onthebed.“Canwegetthesweater

off?”sheasked,twistingherlongdarkhairbackand

securingitwithahairtie.Reachingdown,Itugged

theruinedsweaterovermyhead.Ihadatanktopunderit,butevenifIhadn’t,Iwould’vebeentootiredtocareifIwasshowingoffmygoodies.Rothtookthesweaterfrom

me,tossingittothefloor,andthenplacinghishandonmyshoulder.Hiseyeswerefastenedtomyface.

Jasminemadeasoft,cluckingsoundassheeyedthewound.“Whathappened?”“Ireallydon’tknow.”I

clearedmythroat.“ZaynestabbedtheLilinandthisiswhathappenedtome.”“TheLilinwasstabbed

withanirondagger,”Rothadded.“Butitdoesn’tlooklikeshehasthesymptomsofbeingstabbedwithone.”

Jasmineshookherheadasshepouredantisepticonacloth.“No.Shewouldbeveryillifthatwasthecase.I’msorryifthishurts.”Sheplacedtheclothagainstthewound,andyeah,itdidsting,butI’dfeltworse.“Howhaveyoubeen?”“Okay.”Ididn’twantto

talkaboutmyself.IglancedatthedoorandthenatRoth.“Zayne...he’llbeokay,won’t

he?”Rothwasslowtonod.“He

hastobe.”“He’sright.”Jasmine

moppedupthebloodonmyshoulderandarm.“Withhisfathergone,Zayneisinlinetobetheheadofthisclan.”Myeyeswidened.Ihadn’t

eventhoughtofthat.“He’stooyoungto

completelytakeover,”shecontinued.“Anditwill

probablyfalltoNicolaitostepinuntilZayneisready.”Itwastheendofaneraand

wouldbethebeginningofanother.Mybodywaspresentwhile

Jasminetalkedasshecleanedmywound,andyet,mymindwasathousandmilesawayitseemed.Icouldn’tbelievewhathadhappened.Thisoutcomehadnevercrossedmymind.Iwasn’tmentally

oremotionallypreparedforanyofthis.“Goodnews,”Jasmine

said,drawingmyattention.“Thewoundisalreadystartingtoheal.Idon’tneedtostitchitclosed.”ThankGod,becausethe

lasttimeIhadthathappen,Ihadtobehelddown.Jasminesmoothedsomekindofcooling,minty-smellingsalveonmyarm,andthenrose.

“Youshouldgetsomerest,”shesaid.“It’slate.I’msuretheclanwillhavenoproblemwithyoubothstayinghere.”Rothraisedbothbrowsat

that.“Yousure?”Shesmiledtiredly.“IfI’m

wrong,thensomeonewillbeupheretotellyoutoleave.Meanwhile,areeitherofyouhungry?Icanhavefoodsentup.”“I’mfine.”Rothlookedat

me.“You?”“I’mgood.”Ireachedout,

grabbingJasmine’shandassheturnedtoleave.“Thankyou.”“Nothanksareever

needed.”Withthat,shelefttheroom.Glancingdownatmy

shoulder,Isawtheglisteningpuckeredskin.Thewoundwasnowherenearasbadasithadoriginallyfelt.

“Wantmetograbyouanewsweater?”Rothasked,andwhenInodded,heheadedtomycloset,returningwithathickchunkyonethatbuttonedupthefront.Hewasquietashetookcareofthebuttonsandthenknelt,pullingoffmyboots.Ashekickedhisownoff,

Morrisappearedinthedoor,carryingtwoglasses.Bothhadorangejuiceinthem,and

thatbroughtawaterysmiletomyface.Hewalkedthemovertothenightstand,andasalways,hedidn’tsayaword.Whenheturned,hereachedout,cuppingmycheekwithacoolhand.Thesmilewasbackonhisfaceandthistimeitreachedhiseyes.Thenhepattedmycheekandlefttheroom,leavingthedoorhalf-open.“Thatman...heisstrange,”

commentedRoth.“He’swonderful,”I

immediatelydefendedMorris.Rothshookhishead

slowly.“I’mnotdisputingthat,but...”“Butwhat?”“Idon’tknow.He

just...givesmethecreeps.”Rothfrowned.“Andnothinggivesmethecreeps.”Imadeaface.“There’s

nothingcreepyabouthim.Morrisisthebestandhe’sanoldman—notexactlyathreattoyou.”“LikeIsaid,Idon’tknow

howtoexplainit.”Turningtome,hescrubbedhisfingersthroughhishair.“Tonighthasbeen...”“Acompletemess?”I

scootedover,restingagainstthebackoftheheadboardasIpickedupthecupofOJ.

Rothsatbesidemesowewereshouldertoshoulder.Hestretchedhislegsout.“Yeah,thataboutsumsitup.”Itookasipandthen

anotherbeforesettingitaside.WhenIlookedathim,Isawthatthebruisealonghisjawwasalreadyfading,butIbrushedmyfingersaroundit.“Areyouokay?”Hisbrowsknitted.“Don’t

worryaboutme.”

“Ido.”“There’snoneed.”Isighed.“Roth.”“I’mfine,”hesaidfinally.

“Itdoesn’tevenhurt.”“Good.”Istruggledtotake

anevenbreath.“Tonight...Idon’tevenknowwhattothink.Ican’tbelieveAbbotisgone.”Hetookadeepbreath.

“YouknowhowIfeelaboutthatman,whatheaidedin

doingtoyou,butIknowheraisedyou.”Heslidhishandaroundmineandsqueezed.“Iknowwhathappenedisn’teasyforyoutoaccept.”Closingmyeyes,Ileaned

back.“Hediedprotectingme.Ican’t...God,Idon’tevenknowwhattosay.Iwassoangrywithhimbeforethis,butintheend,hecamethrough.I...”Istopped,openingmyeyes.Theyfelt

wet,andwhenIspoke,myvoicewashoarse.“Istilllovedhim,youknow?”Rothbroughtmyhandto

hismouthandpressedakissatopit.“It’sobviousthathestilllovedyouaswell.”“Yeah.”Iblinkedmytears

awayanddrewinashakybreath.Therewasapause.“Do

youwanttogocheckinonZayne?”

Iturnedmyheadtowardhim,notassurprisedbythethoughtfulnessasIoncemighthavebeen.“Yes,butIthink...Ithinkheprobablyneedsalittlebitoftime.”“Probably,”hemurmured,

reachingoverandtuckingastrandofmyhairbackbehindmyear.Forcingmythoughtstothe

newestproblemwe’ddiscovered,Ipulledour

joinedhandsintomylap.“TheLilin...ittoldmethatwewereinthistogether.Youhearditsaythat.Iguesswedidn’trealizehowliterallyweshouldtakehiswords.”Rothmadealow,angry

soundinthebackofhisthroat.“Ididn’tseethiscoming.”“Me,neither,”Ireplied

drily.“Butitmakessense.Partofmecreatedit.Asdida

partofLilith.Grimtoldmethatwewerejoined,thethreeofus,buthefailedtoreallygointodetailaboutwhatthatmeant.”“Ofcoursehedid.”“Thatwould’vebeengood

toknow,”Iwentontiredly.“Imean,that’saprettybigdetail.IfwekilltheLilin,thenitkillsme.AndI’massumingthatworksbothways.”

Roth’sgazeturnedintent.“Therehastobeanotherway.Ifthere’snot,we’lljustfindawaytokeepit...outoftrouble.”Iarchedabrowatthat,

becauseforonething,Ididn’tthinktherewasanythingwecoulddotokeeptheLilinoutoftroubleshortofkillingit.Butevenifwedidmanagetocontainitwhilelettingitlive,wheredidthatleaveSam?

Hissoulwouldbelost,plusallthesoulsofthecongregationtheLilinhadtakenout.Granted,thosepeoplewerefanatics,butthatdidn’tmeantheydeservedthatkindoffate.Roth’seyesshiftedtothe

doorway,andIfollowedhisgaze,mybreathcatchingwhenIsawthatitwasZayne.Iopenedmymouthbuthespokefirst.“CanIcomein?”

“Ofcourse.”Ipulledupmylegstogivehimroom,buthelingeredbythedoor,justinsidetheroom.Myheartachedforhim,foreverything.“Areyou...?”“Idon’t...Idon’teven

knowwhattothink.”Heshovedhishandsintothepocketsofhispants.“Butthat’snotwhyI’mhere.Iwantedtoapologize.”Mymouthdroppedopen.

“Ididn’tknowthatwhenIstabbedtheLilinitwasgoingtohurtyou.”Hiscrystallinegazemetmine.“Iwouldneverhurtyou.Nomatterwhat.Ididn’t—”“Iknow.Iknowyou

didn’t.Ineveroncethoughtyou’ddothatifyou’dknown.Wedidn’tevenknow,”Iinsisted.“Youdon’tneedtoapologize.That’sthelastthingyouneedtodoright

now.Seriously.”Someoftheconflicteased

outofhisfeatures.Notalot,butsome.“Doweknowwhythishappened?”Partofmewantedtotell

himhedidn’tneedtoworryaboutthis,butthenIrealizedthathemightbeseekingtodistracthimself,andIdidn’twanttotakethatfromhim.ItoldhimwhatRothandIhadjustdiscussed.

“There’sgottobeawaytofixthis,”ZaynesaidwhenIwasfinished.“ToseparateyoufromtheLilin.”“Butwhatifthereisno

wayaroundit?”Atremorworkeditswaythroughme.“WhatiftheLilinandIarereallyjoined,likeweappeartobe,and—”“Don’tsaythat.”Roth’s

eyesbrightenedfiercely.“Don’tevenfinishthat

thought.”“He’sright,”Zaynesaid,

rubbinghishandoverhischest.“Therehastobeanotherway.Wejustdon’tknowwhatitisyet.”Iwantedtobelievethat

therewassomethingelse,butifwewereconnected,wewereconnected.“Wecouldcheckwiththe

seer,”Rothsuggested.Turningtohimslowly,I

staredathim.“Thelittlekid?”Henodded.“Ifanyone

mightknow,itwouldbehim.Thekeyisjustgettinghimtospill.”“Theseer?”Zaynelooked

confused.“Thekidwhokindof

communeswith,well,Idon’tknowwhathecommuneswith,buthedoesn’tworkforeithertheheavensorHell.”I

paused,grinningslightly.“Helikestoplay‘Assassin’sCreed.’”“Andhelikeschicken,”

Rothadded.Isnorted.“Wecancheck

withhimtomorrow.”AmomentpassedandIfrowned.“He’llprobablyknowwe’recoming.”Rothsmirked.MygazeflippedtoZayne.

Shadowshadblossomed

underhiswearyeyes,andhelooked...Helookedlost.“Layla,youknowyoucan

stayhere.”Hisshoulderstensed.“Bothofyoucanstayhereaslongasyouneed.Okay?Andifyouleave—justbecareful.Ihave...Ineedtogo.”Slippingoffthebed,I

walkedovertohim.Beforehecouldleave,Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhim.He

stiffened,andthenheturnedinmyembrace.Reachingdown,hefoldedhisarmsaroundme.Againstmycheek,hewhisperedinagruffvoice,“Thankyou.”Andthenheletgoandleft

theroom,closingthedoorbehindhim.Iclosedmyeyesagain,

squeezingthemshut.Idon’tknowhowlongIstoodthere,butwhenIturnedaround,I

mademywaytothebed.Climbingin,IreturnedtothepositionIwasinbefore,shouldertoshoulderwithRoth.“Idon’tthinkheknows,”I

said.“Knowswhat?”Rothasked

quietly.Ilookedathim.“Idon’t

thinkheknowshowhisfatherdied.ThatAbbotwasprotectingme.He’salready

so—”“Stop.”Rothcapturedmy

chin,holdingmygaze.“Thatguythatwasjustinhere?Ihatetosaythisoutloud,buthe’sagoodguy.Hedoesn’thateyou.Henevercould.Hemightnotlikeyourightnow,butthathasnothingtodowithhisfather.Idon’tknowifheknowshowAbbotwentdown,butiforwhenhefindsout,he’snotgoingtoblame

you.Becauseitwasn’tyourfault.Andheknowsthat.”ForasecondIdidn’tknow

whattosay.“Ihateitwhenyou’reright.”Rothchuckledashe

wrappedhisarmcarefullyaroundmeandheldmeclosetohim.Mycheekfounditswaytohisshoulder.Somuchhadhappenedinaspanofdaysthatmyheadconstantlybuzzedwithallofit.Butin

thissecond,rightnow,myheadwasquiet.“Iwouldn’thavechangeda

thing.”IblinkedasIliftedmy

head.“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”“TheofferIhadCayman

maketothewitches.”Hedraggedhisthumbundermylowerlip.“EvenifI’dknownthatthey’daskforBambi,Istillwould’veagreedifit

meantsavingyou.IcanonlyguessZaynewouldfeelthesameaboutthewayAbbotdied.”“Oh,Roth...”“Ijustwantyoutoknow

that.Okay?”Heleanedover,kissingmyforehead.“Imissthatsnake.I’malwaysgoingtomissher,butifIhadtodoitalloveragain,Iwould.Noquestionsasked.I’ddoitalloveragainforyou.”

twenty-five

IREALLYWASN’TsurehowZayneandStaceyendedupinthebackseatoftheMustangthefollowingmorning.Staceyhadshowedupfirstthing,momentsafterI’dsteppedoutoftheshower,bangingonthefrontdooranddemandingtobeallowedin.Ahugepartofme—okay,

allofme—wishedI’dbeeninthecommandroomtoseeGeoff’sfacewhenthatwentdown.Inallourtimeasfriends,Staceyhadneverbeenallowedatthecompoundbefore.FromwhatIgathered,the

WardenshadrefusedtoallowherentranceuntilZayneappeared.Turnedoutshe’dlearnedofmynow-minorinjurythroughZayneatsome

pointthenightbefore,becauseneitherRothnorIhadbeenansweringtexts.ThefactthatsheandZayne

weretextinginthefirstplacewasahugesurprisetome.Ididn’tthinkthey’deverexchangednumbersbefore.NotthatStaceywould’vebeenagainsthavingZayne’snumber,butIwasn’tsurewhenthewholebecomingtext-buddiesthinghad

happened.ProbablywhenIwasin

Hell.Wasthatonlyyesterday?

Thedaybefore?Icouldn’tkeeptrackofthetimeanymore.Rightnow,shewas

supposedtobeinclass,notthatIcouldreallytakehertotaskonthatsinceIhadn’tsteppedfootinsidetheschoolinwhatfeltlikeforever.

SinceZaynehadbeenintheroomwhenRothhadsuggestedpayingtheseeravisit,he’dbroughtitupwhileStaceywasvisitingmeinmyoldroom.Shedemandedtogowithus,andafteraboutahalfanhourofarguing,I’dgivenupontryingtoreasonwithher.Ididn’twantheranywherenearanyofthis,noteventheseer,butasshehadpointedoutmorethan

once,shewasalreadyknee-deepinit.Itwasalsogoodtoseeher

animatedandactiveinsteadofawashed-outghostversionofthefriendIloved.IwassurprisedthatZayne

hadjoinedus.Hewasquiet,hisexpressionstoic.Ididn’tknowhowhewasprocessingthegriefoflosinghisfathermerehoursago,buthewasholdingittogether,andthat

strengthwasadmirable.WhenI’dseenElijahdie,

I’dfeltgriefbutithadbeenadifferentkind.Withhisdeath,Ilostthepotentialofwhatcould’vebeen.NotthatIeverfooledmyselfintothinkingonedayhewouldwakeupandacceptmeashisdaughter,butI’dmournedtheloss...thelossofwhatneverwas.WhenAbbotdied,I’dfeltthelossoftheonlyfather

figureI’dknown,yeteventhoughmygriefwassharp,itwasnothingcomparedtowhatZaynemustbefeeling.AndmygriefoverSam

stilldidn’treachtheheightsofwhatStaceyhadexperienced.Itseemed,thatthroughallofthis,Iwasjustgettingatasteoftheconsequencesofwhatwashappening,notthewholeswallow.

Ihadafeelingthatwouldchange,though,verysoon.Theridetotheseer’shouse

wasawkward,becauseitstartedwithatriptothelocalgrocerystore.ThePerduechickenwas

tuckedbetweenZayneandStacey.TheformerwasshootingdaggersatthebackofRoth’sheadanytimeIglancedbackathim.Rothwasonhisthirdroundof

humming“ParadiseCity,”appearingoblivioustothedeathglaredirectedathim.Iwastryingtopretendlikeeverythingwasdandyandtotallynotaboutsevenlevelsofawkward,andStaceylookedlikesheneededabucketofpopcorn.Whenwefinallypulledup

infrontoftheoldhomewithitswoodenfenceandstonewallsneartheManassas

Battlefield,Iwasreadytodive-bomboutofthecar.“Ithinkit’sbestthatyou

twostayinthecar.”Rothturnedofftheignition,andthentwistedback,eyeingourtagalongs.“Tonyispeculiar.Wedon’tneedtopisshimoff.”Zayneglancedatthe

chicken.“Youhavetobringhimachicken?”“Eh...”Rothdidn’tanswer.

“He’sreallyakid?”Staceyasked,glancingatthehouse.Acurtainswayedacrossawindownearthedoor.“Likeakid,kid?”“Yeah,he’sprobablyonly

nineorten,”Iexplained,reachingforthedoor.“Geez,”murmuredStacey,

slowlyshakingherhead.“Youtwogoingtobeokay

here?”Ihesitated.Rothsnorted.“I’msure

they’llbejustfine.”Ishothimalook,andhe

turnedaninnocentstareonmewhilehereachedbehindhim.“Someonehandmethechicken?”ItwasStaceywhohanded

itover.“Thisissoweird.”“Youhavenoidea,”I

muttered.Rothwaitedformeonthe

othersideoftheMustang,lightlyplacinghishandon

mylowerback.“Youfeelingokay?”heaskedaswesteppedthroughthegateandpassedtheneatlytrimmedbushes.“Justalittlesore,”I

admitted,becausesayingIwas100percentfinewouldn’tbebelievable.Dippinghishead,he

brushedhislipsovermyforeheadbeforeweclimbedthestairs.Iglancedbackat

thecarandfoundthatZaynehadnotstayedinsideasinstructed.Hewasstandingbesidethecar,hisbacktothehouse.Hewasrightthere,butlookingathimfeltlikeIwasseeingarecordedimageofsomeone.Hewastherebutnot.Thedooropenedbeforewe

knocked,drawingmyattention.Thefaintblueaurafaded,revealingTony’s

mother.Shewaswearingawhitecardiganthistime,butthepearlsIrememberedwerestillclaspedaroundherneck.“I’mstillnothappytosee

you,”shesaid.Rothraisedashoulder.

“AndI’dsayI’msorry,butIstillwouldn’tmeanit.”GoodLord,notthisagain.“Letthemin,”camethe

voicefrombehindthewoman.

Shesteppedasideandtherehewas.FirstIsawthewhiteglowaroundhim,brighterthanwhatclungtoZayne.Apuresoul,totallyrare.TheurgeIusuallyfeltatseeingapuresoulwasminimal,almostforgettable.Theboywasallblondcurlsandhadthefaceofacherub.Hewasadorable—withtheexceptionofthewhitepupilsinthemiddleofhiscobalteyes.

Becausethoseeyeswerestillfreaky.Tonyglancedatthe

grocerybagRothheld.“Anotherchicken?Areyouserious?”“Hey.IhearPerdueisthe

best,”Rothreplied.“AndIhearTysonisnot

thatbad,either.”Sighing,thepint-sizeseergesturedathismom.“Takeit.”Thewoman,whowas

probablywellversedinthebizarreness,tookthebag.“It’sTacoTuesday.Thiswillhavetowait.”“Youbetitwill.”Theseer

motionedustofollowhim.Thehousesmelledofpineandapples,makingmeyearnforChristmas.“Youknow,youcould’veallowedyourfriendstocomein.Insteadthey’reoutthere,beingallbroodyandprobablycreeping

outtheneighbors.”“They’reprobablytheleast

creepythingyourneighborshaveseen,”Rothpointedout.“Dependsonwhatyou

thinkiscreepy,eh?”IsmackedRoth’sarm

whenheopenedhismouth,obviouslyformingyetanotherretort;ifIdidn’tstophim,heneverwould.Heshotmealook,butTonyletoutaverychildlikegiggle.

Wefollowedhimintothelivingroom.Therewasamassivetreealldeckedoutwithornamentswithamountainofpresentsalreadytuckedunderit.AnothervideogamewaspausedontheTV,butthistimeitdidn’tlooklikeamedievalgame.Therewasacarandwhatlookedlikeapoliceofficerchasingafterit.Tonyploppeddownona

beanbag,andsomehowhemadethatlooklikeathrone.“Iknowwhyyouguysarehere.”“Ofcourse,”Imurmured,

sittingdownonthecouch.Heraisedablondbrowas

heglancedatRoth.“Justsoyouknow,whenyouendedupchainedinthefierypits,Iwasn’tlaughinglikeIpredicted.”Roth’seyesnarrowedat

thereminderashesatonthearmofthecouchbesideme.“Maybejustalowchuckle

ofamusement,”Tonyaddedslyly.“Areyousureitwasn’ta

high-pitchedgiggleofamusement?”repliedRoth.“Sinceyouhaven’thitpubertyyet?”Ohdear.Tonyliftedachubbyhand

andflippedRothoff.

“Ah,didIupsetthewee,littlebaby—”“Roth,”Isighed,punching

hisleglightly.“Ican’ttakeyouanywhere.”“Nottrue.”Hewinkedat

me.“I’madaptableinanysituation.”Tonyproppedhislegsup

onthecoffeetable,crossingthemattheankles.“WhileIthinkit’sgreatthatyoutwohaveobviouslycometoterms

withwhatyoubothareandyourfeelingsforoneanother,Ihavebetterthingstodothanwatchyoutwo—”“Tony!”hismom’svoice

rangoutfromsomewhereinthehouse.“Getyourfeetoffthecoffeetablenow!”Ipressedmylipstogether

tokeepfromlaughingasTonyrolledhisweirdeyesbutdidashe’dbeentold.Hisfeetthumpedoffthe

hardwoodfloors.“YouwanttoknowhowtokilltheLilin,”hesaid,staringbalefullyinRoth’sdirection.“Youknowtherules.Icannothelponesideovertheother.”“Screwtherules,”Roth

ordered.“Easyforyoutosaywhen

it’snotyourlifethatwillbeontheline,”theseerretorted.“Thethingis,youbothshouldalreadyknowthe

answeryouseek.”“Weknowhowtokillthe

Lilin,”Isaid,scootingforwardonthecushion.“Stabitintheheartordecapitateit,andwealmostsucceededwithastabtotheheart,but—”“Butyoudiscovereda

smallcomplication?”Heturnedawoefulstareonhisscreen,asifspendingaminuteawayfromhisgame

wastorture.“AfatalwoundtotheLilindeliversafatalwoundtoyou.”Inodded.“It’sexpected.Apartof

youwasusedtocreatetheLilin,justasapartofLilithwasusedtocreatebothofyou,”hecontinued,tiltinghisheadtotheside.Severalblondcurlsfloppedover.“Allthreeofyouarejoined.”Thathadbeensaidbefore,

butnoonehadmentionedthefactthatkillingtheLilinwouldalsokillme.Thatlittletidbithadbeenleftout.NotthatIwasentirelysurprised.“Weneedtoknowhowto

separatethetwo.”Rothopenedandclosedthehandclosesttome.“That’swhywe’rehere.”“AndIknowthat.”Tony

barelydraggedhisattentionfromthepausedgame.“This

conversationiswastingmytimeandyours.”“Doyounotcare?Iknow

yourstupidgameisimportant,butifwecan’tstoptheLilin,you’regoingtodie.Everyoneisgoingtodie!”Ishottomyfeet,wantingtograbthelittleseerandshakehim,but—buttherewasapartofmethatunderstoodhewasn’tbeingobtuse.Weweretheones

whowere.Frustrationpoundedthroughme.“Ifwedon’tsucceed,theLilinwilljump-starttheendoftheworld.Evenyouwarnedusofthislasttimewewerehere.”“Lasttimeyouwerehere,I

sawthattherewasagoodchanceforthattohappen.”Hispupilswereatonceabrilliantwhite.“NowIseethatitwillnothappen.Youwillstopit.”

Itensed.“But—”“You,”herepeated,eyeing

meintently,“willstopit.Andyoualreadyknowhow.Thestoryisover.Theend.”Rothsuckedinashrill

breath,butIthinkIstoppedbreathingforasecond.Whatnoneofuswantedtoacknowledgeinthehoursafterwe’dgonetoe-to-toewiththeLilinwasnowsmackingusinthefaceagain.

KillingtheLilinmeantkillingmyself.“You’renothelpingusout

here,bud.”Roth’svoicewascalm,butangerandsomethingelse,somethingakintodesperation,wererollingoffhim,becomingatangibleentityintheroom.“WeneedtoknowhowtokilltheLilinwithoutharmingLayla.”“AndasI’vesaid,you

alreadyknowtheanswertothat,”Tonyrepliedfromhisbeanbagthrone.“Youjustdon’twanttoacceptit.”Iclosedmyeyesbriefly.

“Sowhatyou’resayingis...viceversa.Ifwekillme,wekilltheLilin?”“That’sbullshit,”Roth

spat,andhewasonhisfeetbythetimeIopenedmyeyes.“It’sanunacceptableanswer.”

Alookofremorseflickeredacrosstheyoungseer’sface.“It’stheonlyanswer.”RothstartedtowardTony,

andIsnappedmyhandout,grabbinghisarm.Hebreathedindeeply,hischestrisingsharply.Asecondlater,Tony’smotherwasintheroom.Sheheldacasseroledish

aboveherhead,asifshewas

readytopitchitatoneofus.“Ithinkit’stimeforyoualltoleave.”Mygriptightenedon

Roth’sarm.Shewasright.Itwastimetogo,becauseweknewwhattheanswerwas.We’dknownwhatitwasbeforewe’devencomehere,oratleastIhad.Rothwasstillmadeyeballingtheseer,soItuggedonhisarm.“Roth,”Iwhispered.“Let’s

go.”Heturnedasharpglareon

me.“You’rejustgoingtoacceptthat?”HethrewanarmuptowardTony.“Thatthere’snootherway?”“No,”Isaid,anditwasn’t

somuchalieasitwasanattempttoendthisbeforeweendedupwearinggreen-beancasserole.“Butwe’redonehere.”Whenhestillhesitated,Ipulledonhisarmagain.

“We’llfigurethisoutonourown.”Mywordssoundedweakto

myownears,butRothfinallyrelented.Westartedtowardthefronthallway,passingTony’ssternmother.“Everythingisfora

reason,”theseercalledaswenearedthearchwaytothefoyer,andwhenIlookedback,hewasstanding,hisexpressionsolemnandwise

beyondhisyears.“Notonethinginthisworldhappenswithoutapurpose.Everyone’sactions—thoseofthePrinceandofyourWardens—haveallbeenleadinguptothis.They’veallsacrificedforyou,forthis.Anditwillnotbeinvain.”

***

Stacey’sfacewasthecolorof

apieceofnotebookpaperandherdarkeyeswerewide.“No,”shesaid,andthenlouder,“No.”Twistingaroundinthe

frontpassengerseat,IglancedatRoth.Athishands.Hisknuckleswerebleachedwhitefromgrippingthesteeringwheel.Hehadn’tsaidmuchsincewe’dreturnedtotheMustang.Hestaredstraightahead,a

muscletickingalonghisjawashedroveusbacktodropStaceyoffatthehighschool.“Isthereliterallynothing

thatcanbedone?”Zayneasked,hishandsrestingonthebackofmyseat.“Orisitjustthattheseerdoesn’tknowwhatitwilltake?”“Idon’tthinkthereisa

way,”Ireplied,flickingmygazebacktoZayne.Hedidn’tlookjustangryorconfused,

butmorelikeacombinationofthetwo.“Itmakessenseinaway,thefactthatit’sconnectedtomeandbothofusareconnectedtoLilith.OurbloodcreatedtheLilin.”“Maybeitmakessenseto

you,”Staceysaid,pullingonelegupandtuckingitagainstherchest.“Noneofanyofthiscrapreallymakessensetome,butwhatever.Whatarewegoingtodonow?Ifwe

can’tkilltheLilin...”“Ifwedon’tkilltheLilin,

weloseSam.WeloseallthosesoulsthattheLilinhastaken,”Iremindedher.Herfacecontortedasshe

lookedaway,staringoutthewindowasthelawnsandhomesgavewaytowalls.“Ihaven’tforgottenthat.Ijust...”Zayneleanedbackinhis

seat,rubbinghishandsdown

hisface.“There’sgottobesomething.There’ssomanydamnbooksinmy...myfather’sstudy.I’llcheckthemwhenIgetback.I’llgetDezonit,too.”Loweringhishands,hesighedheavily.“We’renotgivingup.”ThefactthatZaynestill

caredenoughaboutmetowanttohelpeasedalittleoftheburdenIcarriedwithmefromhurtinghimsoterribly.

Thenagain,Ishouldn’tbeallthatsurprised.Therewasprobablyapartofhimthathatedme,understandablyso,butunderitall,hewasagoodguy—agreatguy.“Didyouhearme?”Zayne

asked,drawingmygazebacktohim.“We’renotgivingup.”“Iknow,but...butwe’re

runningoutoftimeforSam.Andhowmuchlongerarethe

Alphasgoingtoallowthisviolencetocontinue?”Iwasaskingdamngoodquestions.OnesthatneitherZaynenorRothcouldanswer.“TheLilintookoutanentirecongregationofGod’sChildren.Andyeah,I’msuretheyweren’tonthebigguy’sfavoritelist,butit’sonlyamatteroftimebeforetheLilindoessomethingthatcannolongerbeoverlooked.It

almostexposedallofuswhenitwokethosegargoyles.Howmuchtimedowereallyhavetofigureoutawayaroundthis?”“Whatareyousaying?”

Roth,finallyspeaking,barkedoutthequestion.Startled,Ilookedathim.

Hiseyesweretrainedontheroad.“Idon’tknow.Justthatwe...wedon’thaveanytime.”Rothlapsedbackinto

silence,andthenwewerepullingupinfrontofthehighschool.Seeingit,afterwhatfeltlikeforever,triggeredamixedresponseinsideme.Partnostalgiaandpartkeendisappointment—Iwasn’tabletoforgethowmuchI’dlookedforwardtogettingupeverymorningandgoingtoschool.Withinthosewalls,IusedtobeabletopretendthatIwasnormal.Lookingback

now,Isawhowfoolishthatwas,thatchildishurgetohidefromwhatIwas.Itwasn’tsomethingIcould

doanymore.Staceygrabbedher

backpackofftheflooroftheMustangandclimbedout.Ifollowed,sothatIcouldgiveheraquickhug.Wecouldn’tlinger,though.Ifanyoftheschoolofficialssawmeoutside,thatwouldraisea

slewofunwantedquestionswedidn’thavetimefor.“Youokay?”Iaskedwhen

Ipulledbackfromthehug.Nodding,shebrushedher

overlylongbangsoutofhereyes.“Yes.No.”Shehitchedupthestrapofthebagfartheruphershoulder.“WhyareyouevenaskingifI’mokay?You’retheonewho’svirtuallyaSiamesetwinwithapsychoticdemon.Don’t

worryaboutmerightnow.”“It’skindofhardnotto.”“Orisitjusteasierto

worryaboutmeinsteadofyourself?”Iopenedmymouth,but

whatcouldIsaytothat?Itwasboldlyonpoint.Glancingatthethickclouds,Isighed.“Idon’tknowwhattothinkrightnow.I...”Itrailedoff,shakingmyhead.Staceyreachedout,

graspingthesleeveofmysweaterandtugginggently.“Youknowyou’rethesisterIneverreallyaskedfor,right?”Igrinned.“Yeah.”“AndIloveyou,nomatter

what.Youknowthatalso.Andyouknowhowmuchit...itkilledmetoloseSam.”Tearsfilledhereyes,buthergazewassteady.“Ican’tloseyou,too.”Herstatementunnerved

me.“Whydoyouthinkthat’sgoingtohappen?”“BecauseIknowyou,”she

replied,hervoicehoarse.“Promisemeyou’renotgoingtodoanythingstupid.”“Me?”Iforcedalaughthat

soundedlikedrybonesrattling.“Notdosomethingstupid?”Thejokedidnothingto

easehermind.“YouknowwhatImean.Promiseme,

Layla.Iwanttohearyoupromiseme.”“Ipromise,”Iwhispered.AsIpartedwayswith

Stacey,Iknewthatmypromisehaddoneverylittletoreassureher.Truthwas,thepromisewasoneInevershould’vemade.BecauseIhadalotofstupidleftinme,andIknewwhatIhadtodo.

twenty-six

ROTHANDIhelpedZayneandDezskimthroughtheancienttomesthatfilledthefloor-to-ceilingbookshelvesinAbbot’sstudywellintotheevening.WewereevenjoinedbyDanikaandNicolaioncenightfell.Aswewentfromonedustypagetothenext,Icouldhearthehigh-

pitchedgigglesfromIzzyandtheshrillcriesfromDrakeonandoffallevening—clearlyJasminewashavingatoughtimewearingthemoutenoughtogetthemtobed.Bythetimewecalleditanight,Ihadn’tactuallyseenthetwinsandwehadn’tfoundanythingofuse.ExceptIdidcomeacrossa

smallcreaturecalledaPukwudgieinoneofthe

tomes,atinytroll-likecreatureI’dheardaboutonlyoncebefore,whenDezhadbroughtJasminetoourcompoundallthoseyearsago.She’dbeenbittenbyoneandhadbeenveryillasaresult.Istillsortofwantedtosee

onewithmyowneyes.Snowwasfallingbythe

timeRothandIleft.WeheadedtothePalisadessince

itwascloserthantheMcMansion,parkinginthegarageandbypassingtheclubdownbelow.AssoonasIwalkedintotheloft,hecalledoffthekittens.Iwatchedthemscatterabouttheroom.Oneheadedtothepianowhiletheothertwodartedunderthebed.“Wantmetogetsome

food?”heasked,droppinghiskeysatopthebookshelf.

Iwasn’treallyhungry,butIknewRothhadn’teatenallday.“Sure.”“I’llgograbussome

stuff,”hesaid,insteadofsummoningCaymanlikehenormallywould.“Anythinginparticularyouwant?”Pressingmylipstogether,I

shookmyheadandwatchedRothstarttowardthedoor,stopasifhewantedtosaysomethingandthenleave.

Uneasechurnedinmystomach.Askingaboutfoodwasthemosthe’dsaidsincewelefttheseer’shouse.Suspicionblossomed.Whatwasheupto?WhatwasIupto?Restless,Ilookedaround

theroom,andthencalledforRobin.Hepeeledoffmyarm,afox-shapedshadowuntilhehitthefloor.There,hisreddish-orangefurwas

twitchingashelookedbackatme,headcockedtotheside.Heknew.Ofcoursehedid.Chirping,heprancedover

totheopenclosetdoor,totheclothinghe’ddraggedoffhangersandhadfashionedabedoutof.Iwatchedhimcurlhisbushytailclosetohisbody,andthenIwalkedtotheroofentrance.

ColdairgreetedmeasIopenedthedoorandclimbedthenarrowstaircase.Afinelayerofsnowcoatedtheemptypotsandthecanopyabovethechaiserolledsilently.Allthetreeswerebare,butnotdead.Lifewouldberenewedinthespring,ifmankindmadeittothespring.Imademywaytothe

ledgeandstaredatthe

glisteninglightsofDC.AmistycloudformedeverytimeIexhaled,butitwaspleasantouthere,abovethenoiseofthecityandthenoxiousfumes.Calmeven.WewereahandfulofdaysawayfromChristmas,andwewererunningoutoftime.Wewereoutoftime

actually.AlthoughZayneandDez

hadplannedtocontinue

scouringthebooksforawaytoendtheLilinorsomehowincapacitateit,Idoubtedtheywouldfindanything.Besides,evenifwecoulddisabletheLilin,thatdidnothingforthesoulsithadconsumed,nothingforSam.Itookadeepbreath,butit

gotstuckinmythroatasarazor-edgedpanicroselikeaghostinthenight,threateningtodragmeunder.BeforeI

couldgiveintoit,IfeltRoth’spresence.Swallowinghard,Ipushedthefeardown,allthewaydown,andfacedhim.Hestoodjustoutsidethe

door,thebreezerufflinghisdarkhairassnowpepperedthestrandsandhiseyesglitteringliketawnyjewels.“Whatareyoudoinguphere?”Ishruggedashoulder.“I

don’tknow.It’skindofpretty,withthesnow.”“Andit’sfreezing,”he

commented.“Neitherofusisaffected

bythat.”“Iknow.”Onesideofhis

lipscurvedup.“Ijustfeltlikepointingthatout.”Hepaused.“You’renothungry,areyou?”“Notreally.”Aneyebrowroseashe

walkedacrosstheroof.“Wanttostayouthereforawhile?”“Yeah.Yes.Ido.”Thehalfsmileremainedas

Rothsatdownonthechaise.Thecushionhepattedwasprotectedfromthesnow,butonlyifthewinddidn’treallystartpickingup.Iwalkedovertohim,andwhenheextendedhisarm,Iplacedmyhandinhis.

Rothtuggedmedownbetweenhislegs,positioningmesothatmybackwaspressedagainsthischest.Hisarmsfoldedaroundme,andIclosedmyeyes,smackinganythoughtoutofmyheadjustsoIcouldtakethemomenttoenjoythewarmthofhisbodyandthecomfortofhisembrace.Idon’tknowhowlongwe

sattherewatchingthesnow

fallsilentlybeforeRothspokeagain,butthesnowontheflooroftheroofseemedtohavethickened.“I’vebeenthinking,”hebegan.“Aboutyouinoneofthosereallyskimpybikinis.Thekindwherethebacksideofthebottomsarereallyjustdentalfloss.”“OhmyGod.”Ilaughedas

Itrailedmyfingersoverhishands.“WhyamInot

surprisedbythis?”“Now.Now.Hearmeout,”

hereplied,restinghischinonmyshoulder.Iturnedmycheektohim,waiting.“Youwouldn’tbetheonlyonewhowouldbewearinglessclothingthanwhatwe’vegotonrightnow.”Ireallyhadnoideawhere

thisconversationwasheading,butIwasthrilledthathewastalkingandIwas

alsowillingtojust—tojustletitallgoforrightnow,forthesepreciousmoments,tohumorwhateverwascomingoutofhismouth.“Wouldyoualsobeina

barelytherebikini?”Iasked.Ifelthislipscurveintoa

smile.“Youwouldnotbeabletocontrolyourselfifyousawsomethingsoamazing.”HetuggedmebackintotheVofhislegswhenIhadstarted

totwisttowardhim.“You’dtreatmelikeapieceofmeat.”“Ohreally?”Ilaughed.Rothleanedbackagainst

thecushion,bringingmealongwithhimsothatwewerestretchedoutasthesnowcontinuedtofall.“Uh-huh.SoIwouldjustbewearingswimtrunks.”“Speedo?”“EvenIwouldn’tweara

Speedo,”hereplied.

“HowisaSpeedoanydifferentthanmewearingwhatisbasicallydentalfloss?”“Itis.Justtrustmeon

this.”HetiltedhisheadtothesidesoIcouldseehisexpression.“Anyway,theswimtrunksanditsy,bitsybikiniwouldalsoinvolveasandywhitebeach.You’veneverbeentoabeach,right?”“Right.”Ibitmylipwhen

heshiftedsothathislipsbrushedthelobeofmyear,sendingashiverdownmyspine.“Sowhataboutthisbeach?”“Thebeachwouldexistin

atropicalarea,whereit’salwayswarmandalmostalwayssunny,”hewenton,onehandtoyingwiththehemofmysweater,theotherlazilyroamingupanddownmyleg,fromthightohip.

“Thebeachwouldbeaplacefarawayfromhere.”“Howfar?”Iwhispered.“Asfaraswewant.”One

handtraveleduptomychinandhisfingersguidedmyheadback.“IwasthinkingalongthelinesofTurksandCaicos.”Hekissedmyforehead.“Ihaven’tbeenthere.”Hislipscoastedovermybrows.“ButI’veheardofthisplacecalledGraceBay.”

Hedroppedakissoneachofmyeyelids.“Whitesands.Waterthecolorofturquoise.”Thenhekissedthetipofmynose.“Paradise,orsoI’mtold.Weshouldgo.”Ismiledfaintly.“We

should.”Hisgazemetmineashe

drewback.“I’mbeingserious.Wecanleaveinthemorning.”Mysmilestartedtofade.

“What?”“Itwilltakenothingforme

togetusaprivatejet.Justafewwordsspokentotherightperson,andthenwe’reonourway.It’salittletoofartoflyourselves.”Hiseyessearchedmineintently,andIstiffened,becausehereallywasn’tjokingaround.“Wecouldbetherebytomorrownight.”“Roth—”“Wecanleaveallofthis,”

hepushedon,hishandcuppingmycheek.“Letthepiecesfallwheretheymay,butyouandIwillbefarfromthis—”“There’snowherewecan

gototrulyescapethis.TheAlphaswillintervene.TheLilinwantsthat,andevenGrimhascalledit.Theywillbringabouttheendoftheworld.Hidingoutatabeachisn’tgoingtosaveus.”

“Wecouldtry,dammit.Wecouldtrytosurvive,”heinsisted,hiseyesflashingbrightinthedarkness.“Leavingherepromisesusatleastatomorrow—maybeevenaweekoramonth,butstayinghere—whatdowehave?”Isuckedinasharpbreath.

“Whatdoyoumean?”“YouthinkIdon’tknow

what’sbeengoingoninyour

headsinceyourealizedyourlifewastiedtotheLilin’s?”Hishandcurledaroundthenapeofmyneckasheleanedin,pressinghisforeheadtomine.“Dammit,Layla,Iknow...”Myeyessqueezedshut

againstthesuddenburn.“You’retoogood.You

don’tseethat,butIdo.You’retoogood,butI’mnot.”Hisvoicehoarsened.

“Letmebeselfishenoughforthebothofus.”“WhataboutSam,Roth?”“Idon’tknow.Idon’thave

ananswerforthatyouwanttohear,”headmitted.“I’msorry.You’remypriority.Forgettherest.”Iwrappedonearmaround

hisneck,sayingnothingasItuckedmyheadunderhischin.Hishandremainedatthebackofmyneck.“Iknow

youthinkthereisonlyonewayoutofthis.YougiveupyourlifetostoptheLilin,”hesaid,hisvoicethickerthanbefore.“ButIcan’tletyoudothat.”“Idon’twanttodothat.”Hisotherarmcircledmy

waistasheshiftedhishead,hislipsbrushingmycheekashespoke.“Thendon’t.”Rothmadeitsoundso

simple.Thethingwas,even

heknewitwasn’tthateasy.Ifweleftthisplacetomorrow,therewasagoodchancewe’dhavedays,maybeevenweeksormonthsbeforetheAlphassteppedinandattemptedtowipeusallout.ButhowcouldIseriouslyenjoythosedaysorweeksknowingthatIturnedmybackonSam...God,onmankind?Whatwashappeningwassomuchbiggerthanus,somuchmore

importantthanwhatwewantedordesired.Hishandspasmed,andhe

forcedoutthewordsinaharshwhisper.“I’mterrified.”Myheartturnedoverand

thendoubledup.Hearinghimadmitthatwasashocktomysystem.Ipulledback,meetinghisgazeoncemore.“You’reneverscared.”“I’mnotscared.I’m

terrified,”herepeated,threadinghisfingersthroughmyhair.“I’mterrifiedoflosingyouandthattherewillbenothingthatIcandotostopit.”Therewasapartofmethat

wantedtosimplyreassurehim,butinthismoment,allmydefensescamecrumblingdown.Thepanicthatrestedinthepitofmybellyexpanded.Rothmust’veseen

thefearinmyeyesbecausehetuggedmebacktohischest.“Iwon’tletthishappen,”

hesaid.“I’mthePrince.TherehastobesomethingIcando.IcangototheBoss.”Butiftherewassomething

theBosscould’vedone,wouldn’tithavealreadybeendonebynow?OrcouldtheBossevenstepinatthispoint?Itdidn’tmatter.AsI

clungtoRoth,Iknew,deepdown,wereallydidn’thavetomorrow.IfIdelayedwhatIneededtodo,IwouldnotonlyloseSamandtheothersoulstheLilinhadalreadytaken,butIrantheriskofmillionsoflivesbeinglostiftheapocalypsewasinfactsetinmotion.IrantheriskofRothdoing

somethingevenmorestupidthanwhatIplanned,andifI

couldn’tsavemyself,thenatleastIcouldsaveSam.Icouldsavetheothersouls.Icouldsavetheinnocentpeoplewhowoulddiebecausetheendwascoming.IcouldsaveRoth.WhenRothliftedmyhead,

heopenedhismouthtosaysomething,butIdidn’twanttheretobeanymorewordsbetweenus.Iclosedthedistance,kissinghim.He

triedtoturnhishead,butIgraspedhischeeks,refusingtoallowwhateverwordshewantedtospeaktoformonhislips.Andwhenthekisswasn’t

enough,whenhetriedtospeakagain,Iliftedup,plantingmykneesoneithersideofhiships.Ipressedourbodiestogether,andwhenhismouthfinallyparted,myheartachedintheworstway,

buthewaskissingmebackanditwasscorching.Hishandsfelldownmyback,andhisdesperationamplifiedwhatIfelt.Hismusclessuddenly

tensed,andthenhewasstanding.Iwrappedmylegsaroundhiships.Ourmouthswerefusedtogetherandwesteppedoutunderthesnow.Windpickedup,tossingmyhairaroundus.

Ididn’tthinkwe’dmakeitbacktothestairwell.Webarelydid.Onceinsidethenarrow

hallway,thedoorslammedshutbehindus,andRothturned,pressingmybackagainstthewall.Weweretangledineachother,ourbreathscominginshortpantsasthehardestpartofhimwaspressedagainstthesoftestpartofme.Thesnowthathad

fallenonushadmelted,dampeningourskinandhair.Wekissed.Weclungto

eachother,andtheoutsideworldwentonholdoncemore.Rightnow,thesestolenmomentswerejustaboutus.Nothingelsematteredthenexcepthowhefeltandourloveforoneanother.“Holdon,”hetoldme,and

Iwasn’tplanningtoletgo.Rothcapturedmybreaths

withhislipsasheturned,startingdownthestairsagain.Hekickedthedoorshutbehindus,sealingoutthecold,andwhenheturned,heknockedintothepianobench,topplingitover.Wealmostdidn’thearit.Hecarriedmerighttothe

footofthebed,thewholetimekissingme,drinkingmein,anditwasn’tenough.Notevenwhenhenippedatthe

sensitiveskinbelowmyear,draggingaheatedsoundoutofme.Wepartedlongenoughto

getridofeverythingbetweenus,andthattooklongerthannecessary,becausewekeptstopping...andwekeptgettingdistractedeachtimeashirtcameofforabuttoncameundone.Ourhands.Ourfingers.Ourmouths.Everythingaboutuswas

greedy.Whenmybackhitthebed

andIstaredupathim,thinkingwascompletelyimpossible.Heconsumedme,butIknewitwentbothways,becausehishandtrembledashetouchedmeandhisvoiceshookwhenhetoldmethatIwasbeautiful;whenhesaidthathelovedme,overandover.Hisvoicequakedeachtime.

Whatcamenextwassimplyhimworshippingmeandmerepayingthehonor.Therewasn’tapartofmehedidn’texplore,fromthearchofmyfoottothemanyvalleysonthewaytomylips.Oureyesandhandswerelockedaswestartedmovingtogether.Andwhenitwasover,welaytogether,hishandtrailingovermyribs,tomyhips,andthenwestarted

alloveragain.Weexhaustedourselvesinallthelovewefeltandweheldofftheshadowsbysheerwillpoweruntiltherewasnothingleft.Sleepdidnotcomeforme

afterward,eventhoughIwantednothingmorethantosnuggleintoRothandignoreeverything,Icouldn’t.IfIdid,everyoneIcaredaboutwouldbelost,andcountless,namelessinnocentpeople

wouldbecaughtinthecrossfire.KnowingthatIwastheonlythingthatcouldtrulystopthis,walkingawaywasn’tsomethingIcouldlivewith.Besides,turningmybackwouldonlygiveusafewdays,maybeonlyhours,becauseoncetheLilinpushedtoofar,exposedtoomuch,theAlphaswouldwipeusallout,andthey’dbeenwaitingoh-sopatientlyforagood

reasontodoso.Ihadtodothis.Iknewthat

therewasnootheroption,butasIwatchedRothwhileheslept,whatIwasabouttodocutdeepintome.Ithurt.Aknothadformedinthebackofmythroat,aheavinesspressedintomychestandmyeyesstungastearsfilledthem.Myfingersitchedtotouch

him,justonelasttime,butI’d

riskwakinghimbydoingso.Isettledformemorizingeverybeautifulangleofhisface,fromthesharpnessofhischeekbonestothehardlineofhisjaw,onlyslightlysoftenedbysleep.Icommittedtomemorythethicknessofhislashesandthenaturalarchofhisbrows.IlookedmyfillwhenitcametohisfulllipsandIwishedI’dgettoseethosedimples

oncemore,orthewaythetawnyamberofhiseyeswouldbrightenwhenhelookedatme.Iyearnedtothreadmyhandthroughhishairjustoncemore,feelingthesilkysmoothnessasthestrandssiftedthroughmyfingers.IachedtohearhimsayI

loveyouonemoretime.Noneofthatwasgoingto

happen.

Squeezingmyeyesshutagainsttherushoftears,Icarefullyrolledoutofthebedandtiptoedtowheremyclotheswerepiledonthefloor.Inthequietdarkness,Idressed,grabbedtheirondaggeroffthepiano,andthencreptovertowhereRothlayonhisside,facingthespaceI’drestedon.“Iloveyou,”Iwhispered,

myvoicechoked.“Iloveyou

somuch.”AndthenIdidtheone

thingIneverplannedtodo,buttheonlythingIcould.IleftRoth.

twenty-seven

ASISORTofexpected,itdidn’ttakemelongtofindtheLilin.I’dleftRoth’sloftthroughtherooftopexitandhadtakenflight,lettingthecoldwindrufflemywingsonelasttime.Itwasalmostironic—this

wholething.Rothhadsacrificedforme.

Zaynehad.EvenAbbot,intheend.Allofthemhadgivensomethinguptokeepmealive.Duetowhatthewitcheshadgivenme,I’dgainedimmortalityandforasweet,shorttime,I’dhadatasteofforeverwithRoth.AndonceIfullyunderstoodwhatIwas,I’dbeengivenunbelievablestrength.Mymerepresencestruckfearintotheheartsofdemonsand

Wardensalike.I’dbecomeaforcetobereckonedwith,atotalbadassofahybridmess.Andultimately,allthose

sacrificesandeverythingeveryonehadeverdonehadleduptothismoment—whenIwouldtakeallofthataway.Iwantedtolaugh,butIhadafeelingthatitwouldbethecrazykindoflaughandIwouldbreakdown,becauseIdidn’twanttodie.

BecauseIwasn’tthatbrave.BecauseIwasn’tthis

selfless.Iwasjustonegirlwithno

otheroptions,noothercardupmysleeve.LandinginRockCreek

Parkamongthethick,tallsnow-tippedtrees,I’dwalkedthetrail,oddlycalm.Okay.Maybenotcalm.AsIstaredupatthemoonbreakingfree

fromtheclouds,Ifeltnothing.Iwasempty—determined,

butcompletelyempty.Onlyafewminutespassed

beforeIheardasoftchucklefrombehindme.Thestakewasinmybackpocket,whereI’dhaveeasyaccesstoit,butIleftitthereasIslowlyturnedaround.Alightdustingofsnow

coatedthegroundandflurries

drifteddowntoEarth.TheLilinwasstandingaboutfivefeetfromme,anditlookedlikeSamagain.Angerprickedatmyskin.Ihateditwhenthatthingtookonhisimage.Anditknewit.TheLilinsmiledatme

fromacrosstheshortdistance.“Haveyoufinallycometoyoursenses?”Iraisedmybrows.“If

comingtomysensesishelpingyoufreeLilith—”“Ourmother,”it

interrupted.Ignoringthat,Icontinued.

“Thenyou’reoutofyourmind.Iwillneverhelpyoufreeher,becausefreeingherwouldmeantheendofeverything.”“Notfreeinghermeansthe

endanyway,”theLilinresponded,takingastep

forward.“Don’tyouunderstandthat?IwillcontinuestrippingsoulsuntiltheAlphashavenochoicebuttostepin,untiltheyeradicateeverydemonandWardentopside.”Myhandstightened.“Why

wouldyoudothat?Youwouldbekilledrightalongwiththerestofus.”“Ah,yes,that’strue,butI

knowHellwillnotstandfor

theAlphasgoingafterallthedemons.Theywillretaliate,anditwillbeArmageddon.”TheLilinthatlookedlikeSamsmiledasifitwaspicturingasunnydayatthebeach.“Mydeath—yourdeath—willbeworthknowingthatriverswillrunwithbloodandthesehumans,theseovergrownparasites,willdiebythemillions.”Absolutelythunderstruck

byhiswords,Ishookmyhead.“You’re...ahundredpercentcertifiable.”“No.Ijusthavenothingto

lose.Mylife?ThisshellI’musing?”Itpatteditselfonthecheek.“It’snothing.Ihavenothingtogiveup.AndevenifIdid,Iwoulddoitforourmother.Iwoulddoanythingtodeliverhertherevengeshedeserves.”Iblinked.“That’skindof

sad.”Oneshoulderrose.“Itis

thetruth.”Somethingsparkedinmy

chest,andittastedlikehope.“Itdoesn’thavetobe.Don’tyouunderstandthat?Youhavechoicestomake.Youcanstopwhatyou’redoingandtrytomakesomethingoutofthislifeyouweregiven—”TheLilinthrewitshead

backandlaughed.“Wehavefreewill,”I

insisted,grapplingontoanythingthatcouldsomehowchangeitsmind.“Allofus,notjustthehumans,havefreewill.Youcanchange.Youcanstopthisrightnow.You—”“Freewill?Youarenaive,

sister.Thereisnosuchthing.Wearebornwithourfatesclearlylaidoutinfrontofus.

Thereisnochangingthat.”“Youarewrong,so

incrediblywrong.”Iwantedtostompmyfoottodrivethepointhome.“Anyonecanchangetheirpaths,includingdemons.LookatRoth.Heneverusedtothinkfreewillexisted,butwhenhemadeachoicetosaveme,herealizeditdid.Lookathim!”Itgrinned.“Ah,thePrince.

IlookathimandIsee

someonewhowasoncegreatandfearedbyall,butwhohasbecomenothingmorethanthelackeyofastupid,sillylittlegirl.”Iclenchedmyjaw.“I’m

nottheonewho’sstupid,bud,andhe’snoone’slackey.”“Enough,”itsighed.

“Really.Thisconversationboresme.Youknowyoucannotstopme.Youhavetohaverealizedthatbynow.

Youcan’tkillme,becausedoingsowouldkillyou.Iamapartofyou.”“Youarenothing,”Isaid,

fullofbittervenom.Itinclineditshead.“IfI

hadfeelings,youmighthavehurtthem.”AsIstaredattheLilin,that

tinysparkofhopeflickered,andthenwentout.Therewouldbenoreasoningwithit,justasGrimhadsaid.

MaybeifIhadtakenthatapproachfromthebeginning,therewould’vebeentimetotrytochangeitsmind,buttherewasn’tenoughtimetodothatnow,anditwastoomuchofarisktochanceit.Theweightpressedfarther

downonmyshouldersandmychestastheLilininchedclosetome.Iheldmyground,takingadeepbreath.“What...whatdoyoureally

looklike?”Surpriseflickeredacross

thefaceImissedsobadly.“What?”“Youheardme.You’renot

Sam.You’renotElijah.Iwanttoknowwhatyoureallylooklike.”Theflurriesaroundus

seemedtoeaseupastheLilinstudiedmethoughtfully,thefinedustingofsnowcoatingitsdarkhair.“Whatdoesit

matter?”Iwantedtoseeitsreal

face,justonce,butthatwasn’texactlythemostconvincingargument.“Idon’tknow.Maybe...maybeitwouldhelpmeunderstandyoubetter.”Itseyesnarrowed,andthen

itcastitsgazetothesky.Itsigheddramatically.“Youaresohuman.”WhenRothsaidit,those

wordshadbeendippedinwarmthandlove.WhenthoseverysamewordscameoutoftheLilin’smouth,theywereaninsult.TheLilinsuddenlyshot

forward,stoppingnomorethantwofeetinfrontofme,itseyespureblack.“YouwanttoseewhatIreallylooklike?”itdemanded.“Youwantthat?”“Yes,”Iwhispered.

Itsmiled,andthenitbegantotransform.Itsentirebodytrembled,andthenshookviolently.Iwantedtostepback,becauseatthispoint,Isortofexpectedittoexplode,butfoundmyselfunabletomoveasitshortenedandbecameslimmer,asthebrownhairgavewaytohairsoblonditalmostappearedwhite.Bonessnappedandrefusedagainintodifferent

lengths.ItsfeaturescontorteduntilIwasstaringintoeyesthatwereapaleshadeofblue,leachedofalmostallitscolor.Suckinginasharpbreath,I

feltlikeIwasstaringintothemirror.Anexactreplicaofmestoodthere.“Iamyou,”itsaid,inmy

voice.“No.”Myheartstarted

thumping.“Youarenotme.”

“Iam.I’vealwaysbeenyou.”Asmallsmileappeared,revealingjustonesideofitsteeth,andallIcouldthinkatthatpointwas—wasthatwhatIlookedlikewhenIsmiled?God.“Weareoneandthesame,”itadded.“Wearenodifferent.Doyouunderstandthat?”Ahandfulofmonthsago,a

sightlikethiswould’vedeliveredablowtomy

confidence.I’dhavebeenshakentothepointthatIwouldn’thavebeenabletorecoverfromit.ThinkingthatIwasapartofsomethingsocruelandevilwould’vecrippledme.ButIwasn’tthesamegirl

nowasI’dbeenthen.“Thisissomekindof

trick.”MyvoicewassteadyasIstaredatmyself.“Howdoyoulooklikeme?You

haven’t—”“Weareapartofone

another,”itreplied,glancingdownatitself.Withalowgiggle,itransmallhandsdownitssidesandthenacrossitsfront,thenup.Wow.Thatwasdisturbingto

see...myselfkindoffeelingmyselfup.“Youhelpedcreateme.”

Reachingupahand,itstarted

twirlingastrandofhairarounditsfinger.Onepalebrowrose.“Wesharethesameblood.”“That’sallweshare,andI

knowthisisn’tyourrealform.”Thesmileturnedcoyasit

raisedoneshoulder.“Ifyousayso.”Idrewinadeepbreath.

“You’reacoward.Youknowthat?Youcan’tevenshow

mewhoyoureallyare.”“Iamnotacoward.”The

smileslippedfromitsface.Mimickingitsearlier

movements,Ishruggedashoulder.“Nowonderyoucan’tshowmewhatyouactuallylooklike.Youdon’tseeyourselfclearly.”Cheeksflushingred,the

paleeyesdisappearedinafloodofblack.TheLilinbegantochangeformagain.

ThistimemymirrorimagewasstretchedlikeGumby.Asbonescracked,theicy-blondhairshortenedtoshouldersthatwerebroader.TheLilinstoppedtremblingandwhatstoodbeforemewassomethingaltogetherfamiliarandyetdifferent.AndIknewdeepdownthis

wasreallytheLilin.Theeyeswerepoolsof

blackandthecomplexion

pale.Cheekboneswerehighlikemine,butbroaderandthetiltofthejawwasmoremasculine,thelipslessfull.TheLilin,initstrueformwasamale,wasaheadtallerthanmeandalittlebroader,muchslimmerthanRothorZayne.It—he—wasbeautifulinacreepysortofway,afragilemasculinesortofbeautythatlookedlikeitwouldshatteratanymoment.

HelookedlikeLilith.Helookedlikeme.Ifsomeoneputthethreeof

usinaroomtogether,itwouldbeobviousthatwewererelated.Notuntilthisverymoment,staringathim,didIreallyseeit.Thiscreature...thisthingtrulywasapartofme.Wedidsharethesameblood.Itwasmybrother.Theknotfromearlier

returnedtomythroatandIwantedtocry.Asstupidanduselessasitwouldbe,Iwantedtoflopdownonthecold,snowygroundandcry,becauseIreallywasstaringatsomethingIwasapartof—myowntwistedfleshandbone.“Areyouhappynow?”he

asked,andhisvoicewasdeep.Ishookmyhead,blinking

backtears.Roth’sfaceformedinmythoughts,andIhopedwitheveryounceofmybeingthathecouldforgivemeforthis.“No.Notatall.”Confusionflickeredacross

hisfaceandthenhisexpressionevenedout,turningbland.“I’mdonewiththisfoolishness.”“SoamI.”Reachingbehindme,I

pulledthedaggeroutofmybackpocket.ImovedasfastasIcould,fasterthanIeverhad,andmybrainwasavast,emptycanvasasImoved.Ididn’tthink,didn’tregisterthereturnofbewildermentmarkinghisfeatures.Butthen,inasplitsecond,

realizationthunderedthroughmeasIsteppedforward,thrustingthedaggerintotheLilin’schestwithevery

ounceofmystrength.Iwasbrave.Shocksplashedacrosshis

featuresatthesamemomentpainexplodedinmychest.TheintensityofitwassojarringthatIletgoofthedagger,jerkingback.Thepainwaslikefire,engulfingmychestandspreadingintoeverylimb.ItwassomuchmorepowerfuleventhanwhentheWardenshad

stabbedmeinthestomach,anintensitythatwasfinal.Wetwarmthpoureddownmyfront.Myheartbeat,andthentherewasasharpwrenchingsensationfromdeepinsideofme.Blackeyeswerewideand

hishandswerepaleashegrippedtheendofthedagger.“What...whathaveyoudone?”Iwouldn’tanswerevenifI

could.Becauseitwashappening.Thewoundinhischestlit

up,pulsingwithablue-tingedlightthatseemedtocomefromwithinandthelightspreadrapidly,asifhisskinhadbeenpeeledback.Thelightburstinflaresofdifferentcolors,softpinksandblues,andbutteryyellows,andthoselights,almostlikelittleballs,shot

straightup,disappearingintotheskyaboveus.Notlights,Irealized

dumbly,butthesouls—thesoulsofeveryonetheLilinhadconsumed.IknewinmyheartofheartsthatElijahwasamongthem,andsowasSam.Icouldalmostfeelhim,Ithought,almosthearSam’schuckleandfeelhishandbrushovermine.Hewasfree.

Iknewit.Therewasn’tanother

heartbeat.Ourlegsfoldedatthevery

samesecond,andwecrumpled,foldinglikeapapersack.Ididn’tfeelthegroundstopmyfall.Ididn’tfeelanything.AllIsaw,throughthedarknesscreepingintomyvision,wasthesnowbeginningtofallagain,atinyflakecoastingtotheground.

AndthenIsawnothingatall.

twenty-eight

IDIDN’TREMEMBERclosingmyeyes,notevenblinking.YetsomehowIwasnolongerlyingonthecoldgroundinRockCreekPark,butstandinginstead,anditwasthepark—butnotduringthenight,orduringthewinter.Sunlightbeatdownthroughtheleafylimbsanda

warmbreezetoyedwiththehairsaroundmyface.Whatinthewhat?Mygazedroppedtothe

ground,andtheLilinwasn’tthere.ConfusionpoundedthroughmeasIstaredattheemptyspotbeforemeandthendownatthefrontofmysweater.Itwasbloodied,asexpected,buttherewasnopaininmychest.AndthiswastheparkinDC,butit

alsowasn’t.Somethingseemedwrong.

Fragile.Thin.AsIwalkedclosertoatree,Ibrushedmyfingertipsalongitsbark.Bitsofitfleckedoff,turningtoash.Ijerkedmyhandback.“Whathaveyoudone?”Spinningtowardthesound

ofthevoiceI’donlyheardoncebefore,Icouldn’tsuppresstheweirdshudderatthesightofher—ofLilith.

DressedinthesamebarelytherewhitegownI’dseenherinlasttime,shelookeddifferent.Mainlybecausetherewasasplashofredcoursingdownthefrontofherdress,matchingmine.“How...howareyouhere?”

Iasked,glancingaround.“Areyoufree?”“Free?”Herpaleeyes

widened.“Iwillneverbefreebecauseofyou—becauseof

whatyou’vedone.You’vekilledmyson—you’vekilledme!”Maybedyingmademea

littleslowontheuptake,butherresponsedidn’tanswermyquestion.“Idon’tunderstand.”“Howcanyounot?”She

driftedtowardme,herbarefeetsnappingoutfromunderthelonggown.“Youkilledhim,knowingthatwouldbe

thedeathofyou—thedeathofme.”Okay.Ihadnoideathat

myactionswouldkillher.Nope.Noonehadfilledmeinonthat.I’dassumedshewaslikeaTwinkie,wouldsurviveanuclearfallout.“Wherearewe?”Herblood-redlipcurled

up.“Inthein-between.”“Thewhat?”“Areyoupleasedwith

yourself?”sheranted,ignoringmyquestion.Hercheeksleechedofallcolor.“Youthinkkillinghim—killingme—willchangeanything?Evilwillstillbeevil.Hellwillnotceasetoexist.Darkdeedswillstillbecarriedout.”“Butitwill...itwillstop

Armageddon,”Isaid,blinking.Shescoffed.“Forawhile,

but,child,doyouknowhowmanytimestheworldhascomeclosetobeingobliterated?Theendisinevitable.”Iclosedmyeyes,suddenly

feelingwoozy.“Butitwon’thappennow.”“I’veneverbeenmore

disappointedinthatwhichIcreated,”sheseethed,andwhenIopenedmyeyes,shewasdirectlyinfrontofme,a

tallandterrible,beautifulapparition.“Doesanyofmybloodcoursethroughyourveins?”“Yes.”Iswallowed,butit

didnothingtoeasythenausea.Hereyes,thesamecoloras

mine,rolled.“Doubtful.Iwouldhavebredsomethingmoreintelligent,withgreatercunningandactualsurvivalinstincts.”

Isteppedbackfromher,forcingairintomylungs,butitfeltlikeIwasonlygettingasliverofwhatIneeded.“TothinkthatIhave

survivedthousandsofyears,overcomingsomuch,tobetakenoutbythehandofmyowndaughter.”Shehuffed.“Andinsocowardlyaway.Butmyson—hehonoredme.Heworshippedme,asheshould,butyouendedhim.

Youarenochildofmine.”“I’myourdaughter,”I

grittedout,focusingonher.“Thedaughteryouleftatbirth.WhatintheHelldoyouexpectfromme?”“Loyalty?”shereturned.Istaredather,wantingto

laughinherface,butmylipsfeltstrange.Numb.Cold.“Youleftmewiththemanwhowantedtokillme.”“Buthedidn’t,didhe?

Obviouslynot.”Shakingmyhead,I

immediatelyregretteddoingso.Theworldspunalittle.“IhadtostoptheLilin.Thereweretoomanypeople’slivesatstake.Maybeyoudon’tcareaboutthat.Maybeyou’venevercaredaboutanyofthat,butthat’swherewe’redifferent.”Legsweak,Ileanedagainstthetree,butthemomentmyweight

touchedthetrunk,itgaveway.Staggeringtotheside,I

watchedthegreatoakcaveintoitself,breakingapartinchunksthatdisintegratedintoflakes.Itcrumbledsoundlessly.Oneminutethetreewasasolidpartofthisworldandthenextitwasgone.“What’s...happening?”I

turnedwideeyesonLilith.

Shepursedherlipsassheeyedmewithherchinraised.“You’redying.Thatiswhatishappening.”“I’mnotdeadnow?”“Yesandno.Yourbody

hasalreadygrowncold,hasitnot?Butyou’renotallthewaydead.Notyet,butyouwillbesoon.”Shewavedherhands,gesturingatthetrees.“AsI’vesaid,you’reinthein-between.Whenyou

entered,thebondbetweenusdrewmehere.Whenyouperish,sowillI.CreatingyouwastheriskItook.Wewerejoined,andyouweredestinedforgreatness.Ithoughtyouwouldbelikeme.”NowsomeofwhatGrim

hadsaidmadesense,aboutthedangerLilithcreatedforherselfwhenshecreatedme...naturally.ButwherewastheLilin?Whywasn’the

herewithus?ThenitoccurredtomeasI

staredatmymother.Ihadasoul.Shehadasoul.TheLilindidn’t.Whenitdied,itceasedtoexist.Notsoforus.Iguessednoneofthat

reallymatterednow.“Destinyisbull,”Isaid,

myhandsicyasIcurledthemagainstmypalm.Icouldn’tfeelthem.“Nooneisdestinedforanything.We

controlourownfates.”“Obviously,”shemuttered

withanotherrollofhereyes.“Butlookatyounow,theroadyou’vechosen.Whatdoyouknowoflife?Yourentireexistencewaspointless.”Behindher,anothertree

gaveway,fallingintoitself,breakingapartinaplumeofdust,andthenanotherandanother.“Nottrue.”Mylegsshook,

andIwasn’tsurehowlongIcouldremainstanding.“Iknowoffriendship.Iknowof...oflove.Youknownothingofthosethings.”Lilithflinchedandfora

longmomentshewassilent.“Thatisnottrue.Ididknowoflove,thepurestkind.”“Isthatso?”Iwhispered.

Thesunwasgonenow,theskyamottledshadeofvioletandthegrassacrispybrown.

“Yes.”Hervoicewasquiet,faraway,andIrealizedthenthatIwasnolongerstanding.Iwasontheground,andIwasn’tsureIwaseventhereanymore.IknewIwasslippingaway,forrealthistime,intonothingandmyeyesdriftedshut.ThelastthingIheardwas,“WhenIheldyouinmyarmsandyoustaredupatme,onlyafewminutesold,Iknewthe

purestbrandoflove.”

twenty-nine

WHENIOPENEDmyeyesagain,itseemedlikeonlyahandfulofmomentshadpassed,andIfeltoutofit,likeI’dfallendownsomekindofrabbithole.IttookmeafewsecondstorealizeIwasstaringupatsnowcappedbranches.Thesightwas

really...beautiful.Tinyicicleshadformedon

theendsofthebranchesandthesnowglistenedinthesunlightlikeathousandwhitediamonds.Wasthisheaven?Ididn’tthinktherewassnowinHellorthatitwouldbethispretty.Thenagain,Rothhadsaidthatthingswerealwaysprettyatfirst.I’dseenwhathe’dmeantformyself.Painslicedthroughmychest,as

realasthebladeI’dusedtokilltheLilin.Roth.God.Ithurttothinkofhimandwhathemustbegoingthrough.Myfingerswerecold.Soweremytoes.Wait.Myfeetwerebare?

MygazelowereddownthelengthofmybodyandIcouldseethetipsofmytoes.Thebluepolishwaschipped,andifIwasdeadandinheaven,Ithoughtatleastmy

nailswouldlooklikeIrecentlyhadapedicure.Exceptmyentirebodywas

cold,waytoocold.Iexhaledandamistycloudpuffedbeforemylips.So,IwasbreathingandIwascold,andIwasgoingtotakealeapoflogicandgowiththeideathatImightnotbedead,dead.Sittinguptookeffort.The

branchessurroundingme

dancedabitasdizzinesswashedoverme.Snowclungtomyhair,tomyeyelashes.ThesweaterIworewasthesameoneIremembered,stainedwithmyblood.Gingerly,Ireacheddownandtuggedupthehem.Isuckedinaroughgaspofair.Therewasnowound.Liftingmygaze,Iletthe

sweaterfallbackinplaceasIlookedaround.Myheart

jumpedinmychest.Realizationkickedin.Istumbledtomyfeet,swayingunsteadily.IwasontheobservationdeckofthetreehouseneartheWardencompound.Abarrageofmemoriesrushedme.EscapingtothetreehousewhenIwasachildandgotlonely,andtheendlesshoursofZaynelyingnexttome,shouldertoshoulder,aswe

countedstars.ButhowintheworldhadIendeduphere?ThenItuggedonthecollar

ofmysweaterandIsawRobin’stattoo.Hewascurledaroundmyshoulder,andhistailtwitchedasIstudiedhim.Hewashere,too.Buthehadn’tbeenonmewhenI’dleftRoth’splace.HadRobinfoundmesomehow?Istartedtojumpoffthe

deck,butthoughttwice.My

legswereshakingasIwalkedacrossthedeckandduckedintothehouse.TheclimbdownthetreewasslowandthesnowgavewayundermyfeetwhenIhittheground.FollowingthepathI’d

walkedsomanytimesIcoulddoitblind,Islowlymademywaytowardthehouse.Whenevermykneesstartedtoknocktoobadly,Istoppedforacoupleofminutes.

Weaknessinvadedeverycell.ItwasasIimaginedhavingmonofelt.AllIwantedtodowasliedownandnap,thentakealongernap.ExceptIneededtokeepwalking,becauseI...Ididn’tknowifIwasreallyaliveorifthiswassomekindofweirdafterlifeorsomething.Whenthecrumbling

retainingwallcameintoview,Ialmostdroppedtomy

knees.AsIdraggedmygazeupandsawthemansion,Icouldbarelycatchmybreath.Thedetail,downtothebrokencurbnearthefrontdoors,wastooaccuratetobeanythingbutreal.Thepavementwasicy

undermyfeetasIforcedmyselfacrosstheroundabout.Imadeittothecurbwhenthefrontdoorburstopen.Nicolaistoodthere,his

handsomefacepaleashestareddownatmefromthetopofthesteps.“Layla?”Mythroatfeltthick.“Hi?”Hedidn’tmove,only

seemedcapableofstaringatme,andtherewasagoodchancethatIwasgoingtoface-plantonthesteps.Anicybreezerippledacrosstheentryway,stirringthedarkstrandsofhishair,tossingthemacrosshisface.

Thenhemoved.Itensedandstumbledback

ashecamedowntheirwidesteps,threeatatime.Withinaheartbeat,hewasinfrontofme,clutchingmyupperarms.Hisvibrantblueeyeswerewide.“Wethoughtyouwere

dead,”hesaidhoarsely.“I’mnot?”Heshookhishead.“No,

littleone.Ifyou’restanding

here,you’renot.”Confusionswampedme.

“That’s...goodnews.”Nicolaichokedoutalaugh,

andmygazewanderedoverhisshoulder.IsawGeoffstandinginthedoorway,andDanikawashalfwaydownthesteps,hermouthformingaperfectO.Mygazeswungbackto

his.“Idon’tknowwhathappened.”

Henodded,andthensteppedawaysothathestoodbesideme,curvinghisarmaroundmyshoulders.“Let’sgetyouinsideandwe’llfigurethisout.”Ididn’targuewithhimas

heledmeupthestepsandintotheblessedwarmthofthehouse.EverythingseemedthesameasithadthelasttimeI’dbeenhere,rightafterAbbothadpassed,exceptit

feltlikeyearssinceI’dcrossedthethreshold.Nicolaiguidedmeintothe

sittingroom,theverysameoneI’dsatinsomanytimes.Heplacedmeonthecouch.“I’mgoingtograbJasmine.”IwantedtotellhimthatI

wasokay,buthewasgonebeforeIcouldsayaword,andthenDanikawasthere,drapingaheavyquiltovermyshoulders.Igraspedtheedges

ofthequiltwithnumbfingers.“Thankyou.”Shekneltinfrontofme,

shakingherhead.Hermouthopened,andthensherosequickly,backingoff.Withoutevenlookingup,Iknewwhyshe’dretreated.Zaynewasthere,onhis

kneesinfrontofme.HesharedthesameawestruckexpressionthatNicolaiandtherestoftheWardenswore.

Hismouthworked,buttherewerenowords.“Hi?”Icroakedoutagain,

provingoncemorethatIwasthelamestwhenitcametospeakingingeneral.“Howareyouhere?”He

graspedmyknees,hisgriptightasheleanedforward.Thefreshwinter-mintscentsurroundedme,butitdidn’tfillmewithyearninglikeitusedto.No,nowitwaslike

beingwrappedinablanketoffamiliarity.Itwasbittersweet,stillpowerful,yetultimatelynolongerthesourceofmylonging.“Shedoesn’tknow,”

Nicolaiansweredfromthedoorway.Glancingup,Isawthathe

wasn’talone.DezwasthereandJasminewasbrushingpastthem,headingstraightforus.

“Didyou...?”Zaynedidn’ttakehiseyesoffme.AtfirstIthoughthewas

talkingtome,butitwasDezwhoanswered.“Yes.Afewsecondsago.”BeforeIcouldaskwhat

theyweretalkingabout,Zaynesaid,“Layla,whathappened?”Iclearedmythroat,

figuringitwastimeformetoactuallystringtogethermore

thanafewwords.“Idon’tknow.ImetupwiththeLilinandI...”“Youkilledhim,”he

finishedforme,hisexpressiontensing.“Youkilledyourself,Layla.”“Ihadto,Zayne.Itwasthe

onlyway,butI’mnotsosureifIsucceedednow.”IglancedatJasmineasshesatbesidemeonthecouch.“IreallythinkI’mokay.”

Jasminesmiledwarmly.“Ijustwanttomakesure,allright?”“Thefrontofyoursweater

iscoveredwithblood,”Zaynereasoned.“Letherlook.Please?”Exhalingslowly,Inodded

andletJasminecheckmeoutasZaynerosestiffly.Heseemedtoleantowardmeatfirst,butsteppedaway.Therewasaweightonhisshoulders

thathadn’tbeentherebeforeashestoodaboveus.Iwonderedifitwasbecausehewouldtakeovertheclaninafewshortyears,orbecauseofwhathadhappenedwithus.“YoukilledtheLilin,”

Zaynesaidafteramoment.“TheAlphastoldusthattheLilinwasdead.Theypulledback—nolongerthreateningtowipeoutallofus.That’showweknewsomething

happened—thatsomethinghadtohavehappenedtoyou.”Jasminetuggedthequilt

closeraroundmyshouldersasshefinishedcheckingmeout.“She’sfine,”shesaidtoZayne.“FromwhatIcansee.Nowounds.”Zayneliftedahand,

scrubbinghishandthroughhishair.“WhenRothshowedup,weknew.”Hisvoicewas

rough,andmyheartsqueezedlikesomeonehaddroppeditintoajuicer.“Hesaidyouleftinthemiddleofthenightwithouthim.I...Idon’tevenknowwhyhecamehere,whathethoughtwecoulddoforhim.Hesaidthatoneofhiscontactshadconfirmedthatyou...thatyou’ddoneit.Rothwas...”Hisbrowsknittedtogetherashelookedaway.“Wehadafuneralfor

you,Layla.”Mystomachdropped.

“Youdidwhat?”“Youweregone.There

wasnobody.”Nicolaifrownedfromthedoorway,andIsuddenlyfeltlikehurlingbecausehewastalkingaboutmybody.“ButweknewyouweregoneandI...wehadtogiveyouthatrite,afterwhatyousacrificed.”

Greatguacamole,Ihadnoideawhattothinkaboutthat.Imissedmyownfuneral!Well,ifI’dbeendead,deadIwould’vemissedmyfuneralanyways.“Thatseemsalittlequick,”Isaidfinally.Zaynesteppedtowardme,

hisexpressionsevere.“Layla,itwasn’tquick.You’vebeengoneforsixdays.Thefuneralwastwodaysago.”“Sixdays?”Myeyes

widened.“Itcouldn’thavebeensixdays.Itwasjustlastnight...”Itrailedoff,rememberingwhatRothhadsaidabouttimemovingdifferentlydownbelow.ThedisconnecthadhappenedwhenIwentdowntoseeGrim.ThoughIdidn’tthinkI’dgonetoHellthistime.IhadafeelingIhadbeeninsomethingmorelikeawaitingroomofsorts.Time

must’vemovedslowlythen,too.Ishookmyheadandcool,damphairclungtomycheeks.“IthoughtIdied.IwasinthisplaceandIsaw—”Acommotionrosefrom

thehallway,cuttingmeoff.IlookedupasJasminerosefromthecouch.Arushofwarmtinglestiptoedacrossthenapeofmyneck.NicolaiturnedandIsawDezstepto

theside,awayfromtheroom.“It’shim,”Dezsaidsoftly.IwasstandingbeforeI

realizedwhatIwasdoing,theblanketslippingoffmyshoulders.Mysensesstartedcomingonline,firingallatonce.Shiversracedupanddownmyspine.Myheartstuttered,and

thenskippedabeatasatallformpartedtheWardenscrowdingthedoor.Messy

raven-coloredhairfellforwardintoochereyesthatweredeeplyshadowed.Wrinklesclungtotheblack

shirthewore.Itlookedlikehe’dsleptinitfordays,asdidthedarkjeans.Thelacesonhisbootswereuntied.Hewasamess,everyinchofhim,buthewasstillthemoststrikingthingI’deverseen.Rothstrodeintotheroom,

stoppinghalfway.Hisfull

lipsparted,andIcaughtaquickglimpseoflightreflectingoffthemetalball.Ourgazeslocked,anditwasliketheworldaroundusjustslippedaway.Itwasonlyhimandme,andIdidn’tremembermovingandIdidn’tseehimmoveeither,butinaheartbeat,IwasstandingbeforeRoth,staringupathim.“Layla?”Hisvoicecracked

halfwaythroughmyname.Hereachedout,claspingmycheekswithhandsthatshook.Ashockjumpedfromhisskintomine.TearsfilledmyeyesasI

inhaleddeeply.Thesweet,darkscentofhissettledoverme.Inthatverymoment,therewasnolingeringdoubtinmymindthatIwasaliveandthiswasn’tsomekindofbizarrehallucination.

“I’mhere,”Iwhisperedasthetearsbrokefree.“I’mreallyhere.”Roth’shandsslippedoff

mycheeks,andthenhisarmswerearoundme.Hehauledmeupagainsthischest,ontothetipsofmytoesasheburiedhisfaceinthecrookofmyneck.Hestaggeredbackastep,andIguessedhislegshadgivenout,becausethenextthingIknew,hewason

hisassandIwasstraddlinghislap,mykneesoneithersideofhiships.Hisentirebodytrembledas

Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhim,holdinghimjustasfiercelyasheheldme.WeweresocloseIcouldfeelhisheartpoundingandtherapidriseandfallofhischest.Tearsrandownmycheeksunchecked,andIhadnoideahowlongwesatlikethat,

clingingtooneanotherasRothrockedbackandfortheversoslightly.Icouldn’tgetcloseenough.Iwantedtoburrowmywayin,becausethis—this—IneverthoughtI’dfeelanyofitagain—hisarmsaroundmeorhiswarmthorhisuniquescent.Onlyatinypartofmehadhopedthatsomehow,someonewouldlethimseemeafterIpassedon,butI

hadn’tbeencountingonit.I’dlefttofacetheLilinneverexpectingtoexperiencethisagain.Rawemotionexpanded

insideme,anditwasalmosttoomuch,butinanoddway,notenough.Rothjerkedback,lifting

hishead.Therewasasheeninhisambereyes,aglassyqualitythattoreatmyheart.I’dneverseenademoncry,

didn’tevenknowitwaspossible,butI’dbeenwrong.Thenmycheekwaspressedagainsthisshoulderagain,andhewasholdingmesotighttherewasagoodchanceI’dturnintoasqueaktoy,butitwouldbeworthit.Therewerenowordsbetweenus.Noneneededtobespoken.Everyactionwasdrenchedinwhatwefeltforoneanother.Oneofhishandstraveled

upthelineofmyspine,fistingaroundmyhairatthenapeofmyneck.Hedraggedmymouthtohis,andhekissedme.Therewasnothingsoftaboutit.Thekisstastedofdesperationandjoy,ofpainandrelief,andofthebrightrediscoveryoftomorrowthathadoncebeenstolenaway.Thekisswastheactof

someonewhoneverthought

he’dhavethechancetoexperienceitagain.ItastedbloodandIwasn’tsureifitwasfromhimorme,butitdidn’tmatter.Ourtearsmingledandourhandsclutchedatoneanother.Hewassoverymuchwarmandaliveundertheclothes,andIwassoverymuchhere,withhim.Rothpressedhisforehead

againstmine,andmyhands

trembledasIpressedthemagainsthisdampcheeks.Hehadn’tshavedandtheroughbristletickledmypalms.“Iloveyou,”hesaid,andthenspokeinalanguageIdidn’tunderstandbeforeswitchingback.“Iloveyou.Iloveyou.Iloveyou.”

thirty

HOURSLATER,WElayinbed,ourarmsandlegstangledasnightfellandsnowcontinuedtoblankettheground.Thetripbacktothe

McMansionhadbeenablur.TheWardenshadleftusalmostimmediately,whichwasshocking.Thingshad

mostdefinitelychangediftheywerenowwillingtoleaveademonand,well,whateverIwasaloneintheirsanctuary,eveniftheywerestandingguardoutsidethesittingroom.Noonestoppeduswhen

weleft,andIhadn’tseenZayne.OnlyNicolaiandDezhadbeenvisiblewhenweexitedtheroom.Iwasinnoshapetoflythefriendlyskies,

soweendeduphavingCaymanpickusup.He’dbeenoverlyexcitedat

theideaofplayingchauffeur.Ilayonmyside,thefront

ofmybodypressedagainstRoth’s.Iwascurledaroundhimandhishandslidupanddownmyspineinacontinuous,smoothcaress.Sincethemomenthe’dwalkedintothesittingroomatthecompound,therehadn’t

beenonesecondwhereweweren’ttouchingoneanother.Andonlyahandfulof

secondshadpassedbetweenthemomentwe’dsteppedintothebedroomandwhenourclothingendedupinaforgottenpileonthefloor.Again,therehadbeenlittlesaidbetweenus,butwhatwefeltforoneanotherwasexpressedineachbrushofourfingertips,sweepofour

lipsandinthewaywemovedagainstoneanother.Iwasn’tsurehowmuch

timehadpassedafterourheartsslowedandthefinesheenofsweatcooledonourskin.Thetipsofhisfingers

followedthelineofmyspine.“IwenttoHelllookingforyou.”Iliftedmychin,peeringup

athimfromwhenIwas

snuggledupagainsthischest.“Youdid?Roth,thatwassodangerous.Theycould’vekeptyou.”Helookeddownatme,

darkeyebrowraised.“Ithoughtyouweredead.ThelastthingIwasworriedaboutwastheBossthrowingmyassinthepit.Andasitturnsout,Iwasinsuchapatheticway,theBosstookpityonme,andjusttossedmyassoutofHell

aftertellingmeyouweren’tthere.”Restingmyhandabovehis

heart,IfeltitbeatstronglybeforeIspoke.“Still,itwasdangerous.”“Iwas...Iwasdesperate.”

Hishandmadeanothertripupmyback.“I’veneverfeltthatbefore.Imean,whenthatassholeWardenstabbedyou,Ifeltfear,tasteditfortheveryfirsttimewhenyouwere

inmyarmsandIthoughtyoumightdie,butthiswassomuchstronger.Itwasdifferent.WhenIwokeupthatnightandyouweregone,Iknew...Ijustknewwhatyou’ddone,andIwasn’tevenmadatyouforit.Iwastoodamnafraidtofeelangeratfirst.”Hetippedhischinback,staringattheceilingasheswallowedhard.“Somekindofmissivewentoutfrom

Hell.Likeafreakingtextmessage,sayingthattheLilinwasdead—actually,itwasatextmessage.Agrouptextmessagetoeverydemontopside.IsawitonmyphonewhenIgotoutofbed.”Forsomehorriblereason,I

hadtheurgetolaugh.Hellsenttextsmessages—grouponesatthat?Itkindoffit,sincetherewasnothingworsethanbeingonthereceiving

endofagroupmessage—sortoflikebeingheldhostage.ButnothingwasfunaboutanyofwhatRothwastellingme.“ThemomentIreadthat

text,Iswearmyheartstopped.IlefttheroomandfoundCaymandownstairs.Thelookonhisfaceconfirmedit.YouweregoneandI...Icouldn’tdealwiththat.That’swhenIwentto

Hell,butyouweren’tthere,andIthought...you’dgoneupthere.Andthatmadesense.Thatnomatterwhatraninyourblood,youwouldendupthere.”Hishandstilledmidwaydownmyback.“Butupthere,youweretotallyoutofmyreach.Forever.”Myheartbrokewhenhis

voicecracked.“I’mademon,Layla.I’maselfishprick.EventhoughIthoughtyou’d

ascendedtoaplacelikethat,Icouldn’tevergettoyou.Neveragain.Iwantedtobehappyforthat,butIcouldn’t.Icouldn’tdeal.Thesesixdaysyou’vebeengone,I...”Heclearedhisthroatasheloweredhischin.Hiseyeswereopenandtherewasthatpainfulglossinessheighteningtheambercolor.“Therewasnothingbutangerandpain.Itwasn’tfair.Not

forus.Itwasn’tfair,andwhentheangerfinallyfadedaway,Iwasdeadinside,Layla.That’sthedamntruth.Iwasdeadinside.”Tearsblindedme.“I’m

sorry.IdidthattoyouandI’msosorry—”Rothshiftedandsuddenly

wewerebothonoursides,facingoneanotherandateyelevel.Thehandonmybackendedupalongthenapeof

myneck.“Thereisahugepartofmethatwantstothrottleyou—old-schoolstrangleyou,butwithlove.”Mybrowsclimbedupmy

forehead.“There’sahugepartofme

thatwantstorageatyouformakingthechoicethatyoumade.There’saginormouspartofmethatwantstoshakeyouuntilyouunderstandthatyoumadeadecisionthat

brokeme.”Hishandtightenedatthebackofmyhead.“Youbrokeme,Layla.”Emotioncloggedmy

throat.“I...Ididn’thaveanotherchoice.”Brighteyesfixedonmine.

“Andyouknowwhat?That’sthepartthatkilledmethemost.Youdidn’thaveachoice.Igetthat.Igotthatthen,andyouknow,therewasapartofmethat

understooditthemomentwespoketotheseer,butIdidn’twanttoacceptit.MaybeifIdidthenwecould’vefacedthistogether.Soyou...youwouldn’thavedoneitalone.”“No,”Iwhispered,placing

myhandonhischeek.“Therewasnothingthatyoucould’vedone.You’renotatfaultforanyofthis.”Hisgazesearchedmineas

ifhewaslookingforahintof

insincerity,andwhenhedidn’tseeit,hiseyesdriftedshut.“Thethingis,Layla,eventhoughtherearepartsofmethatfeelthatway,itdoesnothingtotouchtheelationofholdingyouinmyarms,thethrillthatcomesalongwithfeelingyourheartbeatandhearingeachbreathyoutake.That’swhatmattersmost.”Rothwasgivingmeapass.

Therewasnodoubtinmy

mindhewantedtolayintome,buthegotwhyIhadtodowhatI’ddoneandhewaslettingitgo.Heneverceasedtoamazemewithhisveryun-demon-liketendencies.He’doncesaidthatpeoplewiththepurestsoulscouldbecapableofthegreatestevil,andIknewthatworkedbothways,especiallywhenitcametohim.Imightnotbeabletoseeasoularoundhim

andeveryonemightsayhedidn’thaveone,butathiscore,hewasbetterthanmosthumansandWardensIknew.Hislashesliftedasheslid

hisfingersoutfrommyhairandfollowedthecurveofmyjawtomymouth.Hedraggedhisthumbalongmylowerlip.“Iwishyouhadn’thadtobebyyourself.Youmusthavebeensoscared.”I’dbeenterrified,butI

didn’tthinkheneededtoknowthat.“Youcouldn’thavebeentherewithme,”Itoldhimquietly.“Youwould’veneverallowedittohappen.”“True,”heremarked.

“What...Howdiditgodown?”Isearchedhisface.“Do

youreallywanttoknow?”“Yeah.Yeah,Ido.”Drawinginadeepbreath,I

movedmyhandtohisbarechest.“AssoonasIlefthere,theLilinfoundme.IguessheknewI’dcometohimeventually,buttojoinhim.Andhe’s...Hereallyisahe.Iaskedthatheshowmewhohewas.First,heshiftedintome.LikeIwaslookingintoamirror.”“Youarenothinglikethat

thing,”Rothgroundout.Mylipsslippedintoa

smallsmile.“Iknow.Hefinallyshowedhimself.Hekindoflookedlikeme,ifIwasadude.Itwasweird.Maybenot,sincehereallywassortofmybrother.Ihaveareallymessed-upfamily.”Hesnorted.“Shortie,that

isonethingIcanunderstand.”Iarchedabrow.“Istabbed

himintheheart.Hedidn’tseeitcoming.”Atthatpoint,

Ileftoutthegorydetailssurroundingthewholedyingpart.“Iendedupinthisbizarre,in-betweenplace.Isaw...Isawmymotheragain.”Shocksplashedacrosshis

strikingface.“What?”“Itreallywasn’ther.More

likeherspirit.Allofuswereconnected—areconnected.WhentheLilindiedandIwasdying,shewasableto

cometome.”Ipaused,frowning.“Shewaskindofabitch.Again.”Rothletoutasurprised

laugh.“Icould’vetoldyouthat.”Inarrowedmyeyesathim,

buttoldhimwhatLilithhadsaidtome.“Shetalkedtomeforalittlebit,andthentheworldstartedfallingapartaroundme.IthoughtIheardhersaythatshehadlovedme

whenshe’dfirstheldmeasababy,butI’mnotsure.Thatreallydoesn’tmatcheverythingelseshesaidtome.“Anyway,Lilithtoldme

thatIwasdyinganditfeltlike...ItfeltlikeIblinkedandthenIwasinthetreehouse.Itdidn’tfeellikedayshadpassed.Maybeminutes,atthemostanhourorso.Ididn’tthinkI’dgetthis—asecond

chance.I’mstillnotsurehowIdid.”Painflickeredoverhis

face,anditresonatedwithinme.Hisvoicewaslowwhenhespoke.“IneverthoughtI’dseeyouagain.ThatI’dspendaneternitywantingyou—mourningyou.Icould’vedealtwiththatifIknewyouwerealiveandhappy.Itwould’vebeenhard.Iprobablywould’vespentalot

oftimebangingmyheadoffawallifyouendedupwithStony.”Hepaused.“AndIprobablywould’vealsobeenacreepystalkerkeepingtabsonyou.Imean,I’mademon.Whatdoesanyoneexpect?Butashardasthatwouldhavebeenonme,Icouldbearitbecauseyouwould’vebeenalive.”Turningmyhead,Ikissed

hispalm.“Thisisn’tsome

kindofdreamorhallucination,isit?”“Idon’tthinkso,butif

that’sthecase,Idon’twanttowakeupfromit.”Hisnosebrushedmineashespoke.“Icouldspendforeverlikethis.”Ibitdownonmylip,

knowingsomuchmorestillneededtobesaid.“Itwassohardleavingyourbed—leavingyou.Iwantyoutoknowthat.Ididn’tdoit

lightly.Ithurt,Roth,anditwasthehardestthingI’deverhadtodo.AllIcould’vehopedwasthatonedayyou’dforgivemeandfindsomesortofpeace,becauseIhadtodoit.Ihadto...”“Youneededto...savethe

world,”hesaidsoftly.“Andyoudid.Lookatyou,youlittlehero,savingmankindfromtheapocalypse.”“IguessIdid.”Thatfelt

weirdtothink,tobelievein.Ikindoffeltlikesomeoneowedmealifetimesupplyofsugar-cookiedough,myfavoritethingintheworldtoeat.“Thisisgoingtosoundterribletoadmit,butwhenI...well,aftereverythinghappenedandIwaslyingthere,Ithoughtthatsavingtheworldreallywasn’tworthit,becauseI—”“Igetwhatyou’resaying.

Youdon’tevenneedtofinishthesentence,andno,itdoesn’tmakeyouaterribleperson.IfI’dhadmyway,we’dbelounginginsomefar-offislandastheworldarounduswenttoshit.”“No,youwouldn’thave

left.”Asingledarkbrowrose.

“Yougivemetoomuchcredit,Layla.That’sexactlywhatIwasplanning.Iwas

prettymuchgoingtokidnapyouandwhiskyouaway.Ifiguredwecouldsurvive,evenagainsttheAlphas,whiledrinkingmojitosandgettingasuntan.We’dtryatleast,andIwaswillingtowatchtheworldburnifthatmeantbeingtherewithyoutowatchit.Iwouldn’thavesacrificedyou.My...compassionforothers,withtheexceptionofyou,

doesnotrunthatdeep.”Hewasbeinghonestand

hewasademon,soitwasn’treallylikeIcouldfaulthimforanyofthat.“Sothatwasallwith

Lilith?”Hesmoothedhisthumbalongmycheek.WhenInodded,hefrowned.“Idon’tunderstand.Howdidyougetbackhere?”“YoumeanhowamI

alive?”

Hislipspursed.“Iwastryingtoavoidsayingthat,soIdidn’tsoundungratefuloranything.”“Idon’tknowhow,Roth.I

waswonderingifyoudidsomething.Madeanotherdeal,maybe?”“Itried.Wenttothe

witches,buttheysaidtherewasnothingtheycoulddo,”heexplained.“IdidgettoseeBambi.Well,Bambipeeled

herselfoffthatwomanthemomentIshowedup.Itwas...Ineededtoseeherthen.”Hetookadeepbreath.“Ididn’tdothis,Layla.Trustme.IfIcouldgloataboutsavingyou,Iwouldbealloverthat,butthis...Ihadnothingtodowiththis.”“Thenwho?”Iwhispered.Hegavealittleshakeof

hishead.“Idon’tknow.Hadtobeahigherbeing.Maybe

theAlphas?”Isnort-laughed.Real

attractive,butIcouldn’thelpit.“Doubtful.Theyhateme.TheyprobablythrewapizzapartyinthecloudswhentheylearnedIwasgone.”“Pizzaparty?”he

murmured,thecornerofhislipstippingupslightly.“Morelikeakegger.”“Thanks.”Thatslightgringrewa

littlemoreasheliftedhisgazetomine.“Youknowwhat?Doesn’tmatter.You’rehere.That’sallthatmatterstome.”Iwasn’tsureifitdid

matterwhosavedme,buttherewasapartofmethatstillworried,becausewhatifsomerandomcreaturecametocollect,likethewitcheshad?Ididn’tliketheideaofsomeoneshowingupto

demandpaymentatanygiventime.UnlessithadbeenCastiel,

becauseIwastotallycoolwithhimrisingmeupfromperditionifthatwaswhathappened.Rothguidedmyheadback

andhekissedme,lingeringinawaythatmademytoescurl.“Rightnow,allIwanttothinkaboutisthefactthatyou’rehere.That’sallIcan

focuson.”Hecaughtmylowerlipinaquick,deliciouslittlenip.“Ifsomeoneorsomethingcomesknockingonedaylookingforpayback,we’llfaceittogether.”Wigglingsoourbodies

werepressedclose,Iburiedmyfaceagainsthischest.“Together,”Iwhispered.“Together,”herepeated.

“Neveragainwillyouhavetofaceanythinglikethatalone.

Nomatterwhat.I’mgoingtobegluedtoyourfreakinghipifneedbe.”ForthefirsttimesinceI

wokeupinthetreehouse,anacutetensioneasedoutofmymusclesandIsmiled.Evenduringallthebeautiful,hands-onwelcomehomeRothhadgivenme,Ihadn’treallysmiled.I’ddonealotofotherthings,butnow,ashekissedthetopofmyhead,

allIcoulddowasbeam.Nomatterwhat,wewould

faceanythingthatcameourwaytogether.Rothrolledmeontomy

back.Hoveringovermewithhisweightsupportedonpowerfularms,hegrinnedthatone-sidedgrinthatusedtoinfuriatemetonoend.ButnowitwasaglimpseoftheRothIfellinlovewith;theRothIwasgoingtodomy

damnedesttospendeternitywith.

thirty-one

“SO...WHAT’SITFEELliketodieandcomebacktolife?”IshookmyheadasI

frowneddownatthecellphone.“You’veaskedmethatquestion,like,threetimesalready.”Stacey’ssnortechoed

throughthebathroom.“I’maskingeverydayItalktoyou

justtomakesurenothinghaschangedandyou’renotgoingtoturnintoazombie.Idon’twannahavetogoallRickGrimesonyourass.”Rollingmyeyes,Itwisted

thelengthofmyhairinatopbun,andthenshovedaboutahundredpinsintokeepitinplace.“That’snotgoingtohappen,andI’dbeawalker,notazombie.”“Semantics,”shereplied.

“AmIgoingtoseeyoutoday?”Inodded,andthen

realized,likeanidiot,shecouldn’tseeme.“Yeah,IthinkRothandIwereplanningtoswingbythisevening.Hementionedsomethingaboutpickingupcheesefries.”Staceyandhermom,along

withherbabybrother,werestillstayingathermom’s

sister’shouse.Theyhopedtobeinanewhomebyspring,butheraunt’shousewasasniceastheMcMansionCaymanhadacquired.“HaveItoldyoulately

howmuchIlikeRothandallhisgoodideas?”shesaid.Laughing,Ipickedmy

sweaterupoffthecounter.“Youlikehimbecausehebringsyoufood.”“I’dlikehimevenbetterif

heactedlikearealdemonandturnedmybrotherintoafrogorsomething,”shemuttered.AsIdraggedthethick

sweateronovermyhead,Robindartedacrossmyshoulderandendedupstretchedoutalongmylowerback.“Idon’tthinkRothhasthecapabilitytodothat.”“Hecouldtry,”washer

response,andIcould

practicallyhearthepoutinhervoice.Pickingupthephone,IturneditoffSpeakerasIheadedintothebedroom.IfrownedasIspiedoneofthekittenscurledupinafuzzylittleballatopthescarfIplannedonwearing.ItwasThor.Dammit.Afamiliarpangoflosshit

meinthechestasIcautiouslyapproachedthebed.Imissed

Bambi.Afterthingshadsettleddownalittle,I’drememberedthatRothhadmentionedseeingher.We’dreachedouttothecovenandsurprisinglythey’dallowedustovisit.SeeingBambihadhealedsomeofthehurtinginmychest.Iknewshewashappyandshewasokay,treatedlikeaprincess,butstill,eventhoughtheapocalypsewasaverted,she

nolongerbelongedtous.“So...”Staceydrewthe

wordout.“AreyougettingreadytogotalktoZayne?”Istoppedafewfeetfrom

thebed,mybrowsknitting.“What?HowdoyouknowI’mdoingthat?”“Zaynetoldmehe’dtexted

youyesterday,”sheanswered.Thorlifteditshead.“Ididn’tknowhetoldyou

that,”Imurmuredabsently,distractedbywonderinghowIwassupposedtogainaccesstomyscarfwithoutsheddingblood.“Itdoesn’t...botheryouthat

ZayneandItalk,doesit?”“What?”Iignoredtheway

thekitten’searsflattened.“No.Itdoesn’tbotherme.Whywouldit?”“Idon’tknow,”Stacey

murmured.“Ijustwantedto

makesure.”Ishookmyheadeven

though,again,shecouldn’tseeit.“Ithinkit’sgreatthatyou’respendingtimewithZayne.”AndIreally,trulymeantthat.StaceyhadlostSam,andZaynehadlosthisfather...and,inaway,he’dlostme.Atleastthatwashowitfeltsometimes.“Youguysarethereforeachother,andthat’samazing.Ijustdidn’t

knowhetoldyouabouttextingme.”“Good,”shereplied.“I’m

happytohearthat,becauseit’snice...It’sjustgoodtohavehimaroundrightnow.”Therewasapause.“IsRothgoingwithyou?”Isnorted.“Uh,no.IfRoth

wentwithme,theywouldspendtheentiretimetryingtooutsnarkoneanother.”Staceygiggled.“You

know,ifitwasn’tforyou,Ithinkthey’dhaveanepicbromance.”ZayneandRoth

bromancingitout?Doubtful.“Well,I’llletyougo,but

callmewhenyougetdoneandletmeknowhoweverythinggoeswithZayne.Okay?”“Allright.I’lltalktoyou

soon.”AftersayinggoodbyetoStacey,Islippedthephone

inmybackpocket,andthentookadeepbreath.Imaybeonebadasshalfdemon,halfWarden,halfsomethingelseentirely,butthesedamnkittensterrifiedme.Snappingforward,I

grabbedtheedgeofmyscarfandyankedhardasIjumpedbackfromthebed.Thelittledemonicballoffurfloppedontoitsback,fourpawsstickingupattheceiling.It

justlaythere,swirlingitstailbackandforthoverthecomforter.“Sorry?”Isaid,backing

away.Thorturneditshead

towardmeandmeowedthemostpitifulsoundknowntoman.Ialmoststartedtowardit,tomakesureitwasokay,butthenIcaughtmyself.“I’mnotfallingforthat.You’refine.”

Thekitten’searspinnedbackasitrolledontoitsside.Thenitpoppedontoitslittlepawsandstruttedacrossthebed,andImean,itstrutted,tailswayingandall.Whatanevillittleturd.Loopingthescarfaround

myneck,Iheadeddownstairs.IcouldhearCaymantalkinginthekitchen,somethingaboutbastingversusbrining,and

whileIwantedtobelievehewastalkingaboutaturkey,Iwasn’twillingtoputmoneyonit.I’dtakenonestepoffthestairswhenRothwalkedthroughtheentryway.Myheartdidacartwheel.

Thesightofhimalonedidthattome,andIdoubtedthatwouldeverchange.AstallasRothwas,the

heightandbreadthofhisshoulderswasstriking

enough,butthrowintheworkofartthatwashisfaceandeyesthatshoneliketopazjewels,hestolebreathandheartseverywherehewent.Hewaswearingalong-

sleeveddarkbluethermalandevenwiththestuddedbelt,hisblackjeanshungdistractinglylow.Ashereacheduptoscrubhisfingersthroughhishair,pushingthechoppylengths

offhisforehead,thethermalroseandIwasgreetedwithquitetheglimpseofgoldenskinandthosetwolittleindentsoneithersideofhiships.RothwasgrinningwhenI

finallydraggedmygazetohis.“Youkeeplookingatmelikethat,Shortie,andyou’renotgoingtobeleavingthishouseanytimesoon.”Heatfloodedmycheeksas

ItoyedwiththeloopI’dmadeinmyscarf.“Iwasn’tlookingatyouinanyparticularway.”“HowmanytimesdoI

havetotellyouwhataterribleliaryouare?”Iwrinkledmynoseathim.

“Whatever.”Hecrossedthedistance

betweenus.Catchingmyhands,hepulledthemawayfromthescarf,andthenhe

startedreadjustingithimself.“You’releavingtogotalktoZaynenow?”“Yeppers.”Ieyedhim

cautiously.Iknewhewasn’texactlythrilledwiththeideaofmyheadingofftomeetupwithZayne,butheknewhowmuchitmeanttome,sohewasbasically—surprisingly—keepinghismouthshutaboutit.“Robin’swithyou?”

Fixingthescarftohisapparentsatisfaction,whichlookednodifferentthanhowI’ddoneit,hethendroppedhishandstomyshoulders.Inoddedjustasthefox’s

tailswitchedalongthebaseofmyspine.“Onmyback.”Hefrowned.“Istilldon’t

likethatideaofyougoingoutthere.Ican—”“Roth,”Isaid,stretching

upandplacingmyhandson

hischest.“I’mgoingtobeokay.Youknowthat.I’mofficiallyprettybadass.”“I’mnotquestioningyour

badassery,butjustbecausetheLilinisgoneandtheWardensareplayingnicerightnow,thatdoesn’tmeaneveryoneispukingrainbowsoutthere.”Yuck.Icould’vedone

withouttheimaginary.“Iknow.”

Hestudiedmeforamoment,andthensighed.“I’mbeingoverprotective.”“Yepperspeppers.”Hishandsslidupmyneck,

elicitingashiverfromme.Hecuppedmycheeks.“It’shardnottobe,atleastforalittlewhile.”“Understandable.”“Textmewhenyou’re

done.I’llmeetyou.”Guidingmychindown,hekissedmy

forehead,andIthinkhealsokissedthetopofmybun,whichwasreallycute.“Okay?”“Okeydokey.”Iwas

evidentlyinarhymingkindofmoodasIstartedtoslipaway,buthecaughtmyhandandtuggedmeback.Badasserywentrightoutthewindow,becauseIendeduppressedagainsthischest.“Roth—”

Circlinganarmaroundmywaist,hebentmebackwardasheloweredhishead.Rothkissedme,andhe...wow,hekissedmelikewe’dneverdoneitbefore,likeitwashisfirsttimelearningthecurveofmylips,andhetookhistimedoingso.Thekisswasthorough.MypulseracedasImeltedintohim,wrappingonearmaroundhisneckasIclutchedhisarmwithmy

otherhand.“Ohfortheloveofmy

innocent,virtuouseyes,couldyouguysnotdothatwhereIhavetoseeit?”Cayman’svoicecarriedfromthekitchendoorway.Rothliftedhishead,andas

hestraightened,Iwatchedinadazeashegrinnedslylyatme.“Justwanttomakesureyoudon’tforgetme.”Caymansnorted.“Idon’t

thinkshe’sgoingtoforgetthatanytimesoon.”Sotrue.Rothappearedrather

pleasedwithhimself.“SayhitoStonyforme.”Ishothimalook,andhe

appearedcompletelyunrepentantashewinkedandthenswoopeddown,kissingmeoncemorebeforeheletgo.ButtherewasapartofmethatthoughtRothwasn’t

beingajerkwhenitcametohisrequest,andthatalonewaskindofamazing.

***

ColdgrasscrunchedundermybootsasIcrossedthelawn,headingforthebench.Thetempshadjumpedoverthepastcoupleofdays,meltingthesnow,andthesunwasout,andeventhoughit

wasstillchilly,peoplewereouteverywhereontheNationalMall.Sittingdown,I

immediatelywincedastheicinessfromthewoodseepedthroughmyjeansandchilledmybum.Ihunkereddowninmysweater,squintingatthebrightwintersun.Humansmilledabout,

headingforthemuseums,somesittingonbenches

playingchess,othersoutjoggingandbeingallhealthy.Didanyofthemknowhowclosethey’dcometothelegitendoftheworld,likethetrumpetsblaringandriversrunningwithbloodkindofendoftheworld?Ireallydidn’tevenhaveto

askmyselfthatquestion,becauseIalreadyknewtheanswer.Evenwiththegargoylesawakeningand

wreakinghavocandevenwithallthosepoorpeoplewho’dseeminglydroppeddeadonthestreets,mankindseriouslyhadnoideawhatanearmissthey’dhadwiththeapocalypse.We’dsavedtheday.I’d

savedtheday,andtheywouldneverknow.Man,itwaskindoflike

beingBatman,butwithoutthecoolcape.

ButifIwereBatmanwouldthatmakeRoth,Robin,theBoyWonder?Ah,no.Icouldn’tseehimbeingdownforthat,butthethoughtmademegrinfromeartoear.Thesoundoffootsteps

drewmyattention,andIlookedup.Zaynewasafewfeetawayfromme,oneofhishandsshoveddeepinthepocketsofhisjeansandtheotherholdingasquareblack

bag.Hisshoulderswerehunched,hischindippedlow.Mystomachdidaweirdwiggle,notentirelypleasant.Myfamiliardidn’taffectmyabilitytoseeauraslikeBambihad,butnowIalmostwisheditdid.Thatwouldbebetterthanhavingtoseehow...howdulltheglowaroundZaynehadbecome.Theantiquewhiteofhisaurawasaconstantreminderof

whatI’ddonetohim.Andithadn’tbeentheonly

thing.Mygrinweakenedabit,

butIdidn’tletitfadeaway,becausedespiteeverything,Iwashappytoseehim.“Hey,”hesaid,andhe

smiled,butitdidn’treachthosevibranteyes.God,Imissedthatsmile,howhediditwithhisface—hiswholebeing.“Youcame.”

Igavealittleshakeofmyhead.“OfcourseIcame.ItoldyouIwould.”“Yeah,youdid.”Hesat

besideme,placingthebagontheotherside,andthenshovedbothhandsinhispocketsashestaredstraightahead.Severalmomentspassed.“Ijustthoughtmaybeyouwould’vechangedyourmind...orsomething.”Understandingseepedin.

“Iwouldn’tchangemymind,andRothwouldneveraskthatofme.”Zayne’sheadswunginmy

direction.Heopenedhismouth,closedit,andthentriedagain.“I...Ilikeyourhairlikethat.”“Oh.”Ireachedup,

gingerlypokingatmybun.“Ihonestlydidn’tfeellikedoinganythingwithit.”“It’sdifferent.”Heglanced

atmeandthenquicklyavertedhisgaze.“Anyway,Iwantedtoseeyou,totellyouthatI’mgladthatyou’reokay.Ididn’tgetthechancetotellyouthatwhenyoushowedupatthehouse.Allofuswereprettyshockedtoseeyou.”Thelongerhespoke,themoresomeoftheawkwardnessfellbythewayside.“Whenwe’dheardthattheLilinwasdead,

well...weknewwhatthatmeant.Iknewwhatthatmeant.”“I’msorry,”Isaid.I

realizedthatI’dbeensayingthatalot,butIstillmeantit.IjustwishedIcouldsaysomethingelse.Aquickgrinappeared

beforevanishing.“Iknowyouare.Whatyoudidwasincrediblybrave.Crazy,butbrave.I’mnotgoingto

lectureyouforit.I’msure...I’msureRothhasalreadydonethat.”Hepaused,takingadeepbreath.“Youknow,youcan’tdoubtwhatyoureallyare,anymore.Inside.Youhavetoknow.Tomakethatkindofchoiceyoumade,youcannolongerdoubtyourworth.Ijust...Ijustwantedyoutoknowthat.”Isqueezedmyeyesshut

andletoutashakybreath.

“I...Thankyou.”ThatwasallIcouldsay,becausehewasright.IknewwhatIwasontheinside.BeingademonoraWardendidn’tmakemewhoIwas.Mydecisionsandmyactionsdid.AndIwasn’tperfect—andIwasn’tevil.Iwasjustme.Abreezetossedastrandof

hisblondhairacrossthechiseledlineofhisjaw.“Enoughaboutme,”Isaid,

andZaynechuckled.“What?”Iasked.Heslidhishandsoutofhis

pocketsasheleanedbackagainstthebench,relaxing.“Layla-bug,youdiedandcamebacktolife.Kindofhardnottofocusonthat.”Atthesoundofmy

nickname,Igotalittlegiddyinside.“Okay.Goodpoint...”Irackedmybrainforsomethingtosayandfound

it.“I’mgoingbacktoschoolnextweek.RothandCaymandidtheirthingandtheschoolofficialsthinkI’vebeenoutwithmonoorsomething.Icancatchupandgraduateontime.”“That’sgood.”Sincerity

clungtohisvoice.“Whataboutcollege?”Ishiftedonthebench.“I

thinkI’mgoingtoapplyforspringsemester—tosomeof

thecollegesaroundhere,butonceI’mdonewithschool,Ikindofwanttotravel.”ThinkingbacktotheconversationI’dhadwithRothaboutseeingtheworld,Ismiled.“I’veneverbeenanywhereandIwanttoseethings—thebeach,themountains—adesert.Ihavetimetodothat.Lotsoftime.”“That’sright.Idon’tknow

howIkeepforgettingthat

you...you’renotgoingtoageoranything.”Hisjawtightened.“Ithinkit’sgood,though—thewholetravelthing.You’llhavefun.”“Yeah.”Itwasweirdand

somethingIhonestlydidn’tobsessover,butIwasforevergoingtolooklikethis...unlesssomeonemanagedtostabmeintheheartorchopmyheadoff.Ireallyneededtochangethesubjectagain.“Butreally,

enoughaboutme.Iwanttoknowhowyou’redoingwitheverything.”Heraisedonebroad

shoulder.“Takingitdaybyday,tobehonest.Acoupleofthenearbyclansarecomingin,toscopeeverythingout.It’snothingtoworryabout,”headdedwhenItensed.“It’sjustproceduralcrapfromwhatNicolaiandDezhavesaid.”

“They’vebeenalotofhelp,haven’tthey?”“Yeah.I’vegotacouple

moreyearsbeforeIneedtotakeover,andIknowbetweenthetwoofthem,theywilldothingsright.They’regoingtobringaboutsomeofthechangethatisneeded,especiallywithhowcloseNicolaiandDanikaaregetting.”Igrinned,stilllikingthe

ideaofthosetwotogether.“Changeisdefinitelyneeded.Thingshavebeenabit...archaic.”IfDanikahadherway,andIcouldn’tseeherstoppinguntilshedid,thenthefemalesoftheclanwouldhaveaheckofalotmorechoicesinthefuture.“Butasidefromyourresponsibilitiestotheclan,howareyou?”Hisbrowsknittedtogether.

“It’shardsomedays,”headmittedquietly.“TalkingtoStaceyhasbeengood.She...sheunderstands,youknow?”HepausedwhileInodded.“IknowmyfatherandIdidn’tseeeyetoeyeonalotofthingstowardtheend,buthewasmydad,andIlovedhim.”Heglancedatme.“Helovedyou.Youknowthat,right?Underneathitall,hedidcareforyou.”

RecallingtheconversationZayneandIhadafterAbbotdied,Inodded.“Iknow.”“Imisshim.”Istartedtoreachoverto

squeezehisarm,buthaltedhalfway.Iwasn’tsureifhewantedthatkindofcomfortfrommenow.Zaynemusthavecaught

themovementoutofthecornerofhiseyes,becausehehalfturned,pickingupthe

blackbag.“Ibroughtyousomething.”Mybrowsflewup.“You

did?”Henoddedashereached

inside.“Ithoughtyoumightbemissingthis.”Curious,Iwatchedashis

armliftedandaraggedy,furrybrownheadcameintoview.Iclaspedmyhandstogether,mymouthdroppingopenasZaynepulledoutan

old,beat-upteddybearthathadseenbetterdays.“Mr.Snotty,”Ibreathed,reverently.ZaynehadgivenmeMr.

SnottythenightAbbothadfirstbroughtmetotheWardens’compound.I’donlybeensevenandterrifiedofthewingedcreatureswiththeirhard,stone-likeskinandjaggedteeth.I’drushedthroughthehouse,founda

closetandhidinituntilZaynehadcoaxedmeoutofit,offeringaonce-pristineteddybear.I’dlovedthatthing.AsmuchasIlovedZayne.Itookthebear,clutchingit

closeasZayneclearedhisthroat.“Iknowyou’renotalittlegirlanymore.Heck,Iknowifpushcomestoshove,youcouldkickmyassnow,butIthought...well,you

couldalwaysuseMr.Snotty.Hebelongstoyou.”TearsburnedmyeyesasI

buriedmyfaceinthetopofMr.Snotty’sheadandbreathedindeeply.Thescentofwhatusedtobemyhomeclungtothelittlebear,andIalmoststartedsobbingrightthere.Huggingthatbear,IwantedtogobackintimejustsoIcouldgetonemorehugoutofAbbot,before

everythingwentdownhillbetweenus.Blinkingbacktears,Ilifted

myfacetoZayne.“Thankyou.Thankyousomuch.”Heclosedhiseyesbriefly.

“Imissyou,Layla.”Mychestsqueezedlikeit

wasinavise.“Youdon’thaveto,”Iwhispered,anglingtowardhimasIheldthebear.Andherewewere,finallyattheheartofthereasonwhy

weweresittingonthebench.“I’mrighthere.Imissyou,Zayne.Iwanttobefriends.”“Iknow.It’sjust...I’mnot

readyforthat,”hesaid,flippinghisgazetothesky.Hischestrosewithadeepbreath.“IliketothinkthatonedayIwillbe.Well,IknowIwill.Oneday.”“Iwillbewaiting,”Itold

him.“Imeanit.I’llbewaitingforthatday.”

SomeoftheweightIcarriedaroundmyhearteasedasZaynenoddedslowly.Thenhesmiledashelookedoveratme,reallysmiledthatfull-facedgrinthatIgrewupadoring,andinthatmomentIknewthattherereallywouldbea“oneday”tolookforwardto.

thirty-two

ZAYNEANDIchattedforalittlewhilelonger,andwhenitcametimetoleave,Iwasreluctanttopartways.Ididn’tknowwhenI’dseehimagain.I’dbeensoclosetojumpingonhimandhugginghimlikeIdidwithMr.Snotty,butIknewitwasstilltoosoonforthat.

Teary-eyed,IwatchedZayneheadacrossthelawnandIhopedthat“oneday”becamesomedaysoon.Ireallydid.IgentlyplacedMr.Snotty

backinthebagandwhenIstood,Istartedacrossthelawnintheoppositedirection,towardthemuseums.IwasgoingtotextRothsoon,butIneededacoupleofminutestosort

throughallIwasfeeling.IwashappythatIgottoseeZayneandtoknowhedidn’thateme,butImissedhimsomethingfierce.IwisheditcouldbethewayitwasbeforeheandIhadgonedownthatroad,butIcouldn’tfinditinmyselftoregretanyofwhatheandIshared.Weneededtoexperienceeverythingwehadforbothofustoknowwherewereally

stoodwitheachother.AlthoughIwantedtoforcehimtobemyfriendrightnow,Irespectedandcaredforhimtoomuchtonotgivehimallthetimeheneeded.Inthemeantime,IcouldonlybegladhehadStaceytotalkto.Icutthroughthebenches

andtables,focusingontakingdeepandevenbreathsasthebagholdingMr.Snottyswunggentlyatmyside.Out

ofthecornerofmyeye,IthoughtIspottedafamiliardarkface.Stoppingmidstep,Iturnedtomyright.Morrissatatoneofthe

woodentables,hisbushybrowsfurrowedinconcentration.Onefingerlessglovedhandwasballedunderhischinandtheotherhoveredoverblackandwhitechesspiecesthatwerestrategicallyplacedonthegameboard.

Idon’tknowwhatshockedmemore—thefactIwasseeingMorrisoutandaboutwhenIhadn’tseenhimatallsincethenightAbbotdied,notevenwhenI’dreturnedfromthe...well,fromthedead,orthefactthathewasn’talone.Acrossfromhimsataraven-hairedwoman.Dark,oversizeglassescoveredmostofherface,butfromwhatIcould

tellfromherseatedposition,shewastallandslender,thetawnyskinofherhandasitmovedoverthechesspieceswasflawless.Morrishadfriends?Lady

friends?Ladyfriendswhoappearedmuch,muchyoungerthanhim?Go,Morris...Thewomanmovedoneof

herknights,takingwhatIguessedwasapawnofher

opponent’s.Asshescoopedthedarkpiece,athickcloudcreptoverthesun,blockingitoutsuddenly.Startled,Iglancedupandfrowned.Itwassodarkitwasalmostdusk.Anoddshivercurledits

waydownmyspineasIloweredmygazetothem.Theshiverspreaditschillyfingersacrossmyshoulders.Robingrewrestless,sliding

offmybackandcrawlingtorestjustbelowmyribs.Morrisglancedup,his

soulfulgazefindingmine.Theskinaroundhiseyescrinkledashesmiledwidely.IraisedmyhandasthesunbrokefreefromtheinkycloudandIwiggledmyfingersathim.Thiswasweird.Heshiftedhisattention

backtothechessgame,andI

hadafeelingthatIwasdismissed,whichIwasoddlyokaywith.Ididn’tknowwhatwasgoingonthere,butI’dstartedtowalkpastthem,tothesidewalkwhenasoft,liltinghumcaughtmyattention.Everymuscleinmybody

lockedupasmyskintingled.Thehum—Irecognizedit,wouldalwaysrecognizeit.“ParadiseCity.”Thesame

songRothconstantlyhummed,butthistime,itwascomingfromawoman.Ithadtobeacoincidence,I

toldmyselfasIslowlyturnedbackaround.TheamazinglyonpitchtonewascomingfromthewomansittingacrossfromMorris.Shestoppedhummingand

herredlipscurledintoahalfsmileasshereachedup,removingtheshades.Then

sheturnedherchintowardme,andIsawherface.Thewomanwasshockinglybeautiful.Everysinglefeatureperfectlypiecedtogether.High,definedcheekbones,tinynoseandimpossiblyfulllips,butitwashereyesthatknockedtheairrightoutofmylungs.Theywerethecoloroftwo

amberjewels...identicaltoRoth’s.

“Youknow,”shesaid,speakinginavoicethatwasthicklikesmoke,“he’salwaysbeenmyfavoriteCrownPrince.”Myjawunhinged,andI

gapedatherlikeafishoutofwater.MyfavoriteCrownPrince?My?Wasshe...?OhmyGod.OhmyGod!TheBosswas

awoman!Thewomantiltedherhead

tothesideandherblackhairslippedoverhershoulder.“Ah,Icanseethewheelsturninginyourlittlehead.ItwarmsmybitterhearttoknowthatmyPrinceiswithsomeonewhoisatleastmarginallyintelligent.”Therewasagoodchance

myeyesweregoingtopopout,sothatinsultprettymuchwentrightovermyhead.“You’re...”

“Ibetyoucanguessmyname.Likethatonesongsays,Idogobymany.”Thesunglassesdangledfromherfingersasshestudiedme.“Haveyouwonderedwhyyou’rehere,Layla?”WhenIstartedtoglancearound,shelaugheddarkly.“Nothere,inthispark,youlittlefool,butstandingtherewithbloodcoursingthroughyourbodyandyourheartbeatinginyour

chest?”Morrisraisedhisbrows

again—whetheratherlatestinsultoratthereminderofmynear-demise,Iwasn’tsure—butheremainedsilent,asalways.“Itwasyou?”Isaidaftera

moment.“Youbroughtmeback?”Shedidn’tanswer

immediately.“AsIsaid,Astarothismyfavorite

CrownPrince,butIwillnotraisethedeadevenforhim.Atleastnotwithoutgainingsomethingfromit.”Ishookmyhead.“Idon’t

understand.Ifitwasn’tyou...?”“Oh,itwasme.Andyou’re

welcome.”Sheslippedthesunglassesbackon,butitstillfeltlikeshecouldseerightintome.“Butitwasbecauseofyourmother.”

Ifthewindhadblownthatsecond,Iwould’vefallenrightover.“Lilithsavedme?”“Lilithpromisedtonever

attemptanescapeagainifIsavedyou,andthatwasanofferthatevenIcouldnotpassup.SoImadeheradeal,andhereyouare.”Athousandemotions

swampedme,andmykneesfeltweak.Lilithsavedme?Disbeliefswirled,mingling

withhope,elationandjustmoreshock.Hadshefinallyrecognizedmeasherdaughterandhaddonesomethingredeeming?ThebagstartedtoslipfrommyfingersandItightenedmygrasp.Andthenitstruckme.IfIhaddied,thenLilith

would’vedied,too.TherewasnopointfortheBosstomakethisdealunless...unless

shehadpartlydoneitforRoth.Holycrackerjacks,wasthe

Bosscapableofcompassion?Ohman,theworldhadjustturnedupsidedown.“Now,don’tgetallooey

andgooeyinside,mydear.Ifyoudied,thenshewould’vedied.Sodidshefeelamotherlybondforyouorwassheintheend,justsavingherself?Perhapsshehopes

thatonedayyouwillchangeyourmindandfreeher.Afterall,thenshewouldn’tbeescaping,nowwouldshe?Whoknows?Ireallydon’tcare,”shesaid,raisingoneshoulderinadelicateshrug.“Neithershouldyou,becauseyouknowwhatyoushouldcareabout?ThefactthatbesidestheAlphas,I’mtheonlybeingthatcanundoAstaroth’sexistencewithjust

asnap...ofmytwolittle,bittyfingers.”BothLilithasmypossible

saviorandtheBossbeingawesomeforgotten,Ifeltmybackstiffenandmyeyesnarrowasherthreatsmackedintome.FurytookholdandIhadtouseeveryounceofrestraintnottoshiftrightthereandfreaksomepeopleout.Ididn’tevenrecognizethe

voicethatcameoutofmeinalowgrowlthatcausedthosewalkingnearbytogivemeawideberth.“Imaynotbeabletodefeatyou,butIknowIcangotoe-to-toewithyou.SoifyouharmonehaironRoth’shead,Iwillbatheinyourbloodandmakeanecklaceoutofyourentrails.”ThenIbracedmyselffor

somemajorwhoopassthatwasprobablygoingtobring

theAlphasscreamingdownonus,andmaybeIshould’vehadRothcomewithmetodayafterall,becausemylittletriphadsuddenlytakenareallybadturn.ButthenMorrissmiledand

hisshouldersshooksilentlywhileshetossedherheadbackandlaughedloudly.NothingaboutwhatIsaidwasfunny.OratleastIdidn’tthinkso.Iglancedaround,

unsureofwhatwashappening.“Ilikeyou,”shesaidonce

shestoppedlaughing.“Ireallydo.YouaredeservingoftheCrownPrince.”“Um...”“AndIcanseethatyou

andI...Well,Ithinkwe’llgetalongfamously.”Sheturnedbacktothegame.“Visitwheneveryoulike,butonelastthing.”

“Uh...”Shepickedupaknightas

shelickedherlips.“Threatenmeagain,andIdon’tcarewhatyourmotherhaspromised,whatfriendsyouhaveinhighplaces,orwhatitwilldotoAstaroth—youwillbewearingentrailsasanecklace,buttheywon’tbemine.”Alrightythen.Iwasn’tstupid,soIknew

whenitwastimetomakeanexit.Iwalkedawayfromthetableinadazeanditwasn’tuntilagoodfiveminuteslaterthatIstoppedinthemiddleofthecrowdedsidewalktowonderoutloud,“IfthatladyistheBoss,thenwhatorwhointheHellisMorris?”

***

InsteadoftextingRoth,I

endedupheadingbacktothehouse.Iwalkedinthroughthefrontdoor,placingthebagthatcontainedMr.Snottyonthechairinthesittingroom.AssoonasIcrossedintothelivingroom,Rothwasthere.Movingasquickasashadow,withinasecond,hisarmswerearoundmeandhislipswereskatingupthesideofmyneck.Immediately,asoftsound

escapedmeasmybloodheated.Oneofhishandsfounditswayundermysweaterandsmoothedovermybareskin,sendingahotshiverthroughme.“Youdidn’ttextme,”he

saidtothespacejustbelowmyear.Myeyesdriftedshut.

“Huh?”Hisdeepchucklewarmed

me.“Youweresupposedto

textmeandIwassupposedtocometoyou.”“Oh.Yeah.That’sright.”I

bitdownonmylipwhenhekissedthespacehislipshadbrushedagainst.Whyhadn’tItextedhim?Myeyespoppedopen.“Dammit.You’resodistracting.Ineedtotellyousomething.”“Mmm.Tellme

something.”Hisotherslippeddownmyback.“I’m

listening.”Iwashavingtrouble

breathing.“Ican’ttalkwhenyou’redoingthat.”“Doingwhat?”hesaid

innocently.“Youknowwhat.”

Reachingbehindme,Icaughthishandandpulleditawayfrommybehind.“It’snotmyfaultyoucan’t

multitask,”hesaidashestartedwalkingmebackward.

Hetwistedusaroundandthensat,pullingmedowninhislapsothatIwasfacinghimandmylegswereshovedagainstthearmsofthechair.“Now.I’msitting.You’rehereinmylap,whereIlikeyoutobe,andI’mlistening.”“Okay.”Iblinkedslowly

whilehegrinnedupatme.Heloopedhisarmsaround

myhipsloosely.“YoumetwithZayne?”

“Yes,butthat’snotwhatIwantedtotellyou.”Ashisbrowsdrewdown,Ipokedhiminthechestwithonefinger.“I’lltellyouallaboutthatlater.Itwasgoodchattingwithhimandall.”“But?”Hisgazedroppedto

mymouth,andIhadafeelinghewasgoingtokissme.Ineededtogetthisout

beforeheendedupsucceedinginobliteratingmy

sensesanditwashardenoughwhenhisfingersstartedmovingalongthebandofmyjeans.“ButIthinkImetyourmother,Roth.”Hisfingerstilledashislips

parted.Adarklookcreptintohisface,tighteningtheskinaroundhiseyes.“Mymother?”“Yeah.Youknow,the

Boss.ShewasattheMall,andIheardherhumming

‘ParadiseCity.’”Everythingcameoutinarushatthatpoint.“Iturnedaroundandthereshewas.Andwow,she’sreallypretty.Imean,shelooksalotlikeyou.Notthatyou’repretty.You’rehandsomeandhot,reallykindofbeautifuland—”“Igetwhatyou’resaying,”

heinterrupted.“Andthanks.Butjustthisonceweshouldtalkaboutsomethingother

thanmyhotness.DidtheBosssayanythingtoyou?Doanything?”“Well,shetoldmethat

LilithmadeadealtoneverescapeHellandthatwaswhyIwassaved,butthatdidn’tmakealotofsense,becauseLilithdeadsolvestheproblemofLilith.Ithinkshe...shetookthedealforyou—theBoss.Andshealsosaidthatyouwereherfavorite

CrownPrince.”Crossingmyarms,Ifrowned.“Shealsosaidthatshecouldundoyourexistence.”Hiseyesnarrowed.“Why

wouldtheBosssaythat?”“I...um,Ikindof

threatenedher.”“Youdid?”Bitingdownonmylower

lip,Inodded.“IsortoftoldherthatI’dbatheinherbloodandwearherentrailsasa

necklaceifsheharmedyou.”Onecornerofhislips

twitched.“Youdidwhat?”Iliftedmychin.“Iwanted

hertoknowthatIdidnottakekindlytothinlyveiledthreatsagainstyou.”Roth’sfacesoftened.“Oh,

Shortie...youdomeproud.”Blushing,Ilookedawayas

Irolledmyeyes.“Whatever.”“I’mserious.Yousought

toprotectme.”Hisfingers

curvedaroundmychinandguidedmyeyesbacktohis.“I’mhonoredthatyouwoulddothat.I’msuretheBosswasn’ttoohappyaboutthat.”“Well,shekindof

laughed...andthensaidshelikedme.AndthenshebasicallytoldmeI’dwearmyownentrailsifIeverthreatenedheragain.Itwasweird.YounevertoldmethattheBosswasafemale,and

yourmother.AndIthoughtyoucalledtheBossahebefore.OramImakingthatup?Itdoesn’tmatter.”Talkaboutcrazyin-laws,

dearLord.“Afemale?”Helaughed

deeply.“TheBossiswhateverandwhoeveritchoosestobe.”NowIwastheonegaping

athim.“What?”Hetrailedhishandalong

myjaw,cuppingthenapeofmyneck.“TheBossisn’tmymotherormyfather.Morelikemycreator,andforsomereasonrecently,theBosshasfavoredlookinglikeawomanwhosortofresemblesme,buttheBossisneithermaleorfemale.”Iopenedmymouth,closed

it,andthenopeneditagain.“Um...”“Weird,right?”

“Yeah.”Myheadhurt.Afterafewmoments,Roth

frownedthoughtfully.“WhatwastheBossdoingattheMall?”“Shewasplayingchess—

ohmygoodness,Ialmostforgot!ShewasplayingchesswithMorris!Youknow,Morrisasinthechauffeurandjack-of-all-tradesattheWardencompound.Hewastherewithher.”Irockedwith

excitement,causingRothtogetaninterestinglystrainedlookonhisface.“Whywashewithher?Whyweretheyplayingchess?Holycanolaoil,theywereplayingchess!Howcliché!Ohmygoodness,whatifhe’s—”“Idon’tknowwhatheis,”

hecutin.Myeyeswerewide.“He

neverspeaksandhe’sawesomewithagunandcan

breakoutsomekungfumoves,butwait...Ican’tpicture—”Iloweredmyvoice“—youknowwhoshootingagunorusingkungfu.”Hislipsweretwitching

again.“Yeah,toughtoimaginethebigguyupstairsneedingaweaponormartialarts.”True.Ideflatedlikea

balloonwithapinprickinit.

Forasecond,I’dthoughtIwasontosomethingamazing.“Buthehastobesomething.”“Anythingispossible.”His

fingerseasedthemusclesinmyneckashisgazelockedontomine.“Soaboutyourmom...”Itiltedmyhead,giving

himbetteraccess.“Your—Imean,theBosstoldmethatshemadeadealtoneverescapeifIwassaved,andat

first,Ithought,wow,Lilithfinallydidsomethingforme—herdaughter—butthentheBossremindedmethatifIhaddied,thenLilithwoulddie,thatLilithknewthat.Shewasbasicallysavingherself.”Ishrugged.“So,Iguessweknownow,huh?HowIcameback.I’mstillgrateful.Itdoesn’tmatterhowIgotback,onlythatI’mhere.”Hisexpressionlostitshard

edgesagain.“You’reright.You’rehereandthat’sallthatmatters,buthere’sthething,Layla.TheBoss...Well,theBosshasmomentsofgreatcompassionandsometimestheBossdoeseverythingpossibletoavoidtakingcreditforthat.”Heleanedin,pressinghisforeheadagainstmine.“AndLilithcouldbethesameway.Doessomethinggoodandthen

hidesit.Ormaybeshewasjustsavingherownass,butyouknowwhat?”“What?”Iwhispered.Hetiltedhishead,kissing

thetipofmynose.“You’llneverknowtherealreason,butyoucanchoosetobelievewhateveryouwantaboutit.Youdon’thavetomakeyourchoicenow,butnomatterwhatyoudecidetobelieve,itdoesn’tchangewhoorwhat

youareorhowmuchyoumeantomeortoZayneortotheotherWardensandStacey.EvenCayman,”headded.“EvenCayman?”Ilaughed

hoarsely.Hekissedthecornerofmy

mouth.“Evenhim.Noneofthatchanges.Thatfemale—Lilith—ifshedidwhatshedidtosaveyou,that’sgreat.Ifshedidittosaveherown

life,thenforgether.Eitherway,itdoesn’tchangeyou.”IclosedmyeyesasI

leanedintohim,andhetookmyweight,wrappinghisotherarmaroundme.“You’reright.”“I’malwaysright,

Shortie.”“No,you’renot.”Igrinned

whenhesnorted.“Butyouarerightnow.ItwouldbenicetoknowthatLilithcared

formeandmadeachoicetosaveme,becauseI’mherdaughter,butitdoesn’treallymatterintheend.”“Nope.”Hekissedthe

othersideofmylips.“Notatall.”“Imatter,”Iwhispered,

andherewardedmyresponsewithadirectsmackeronthelips.“Youmatter.Wematter.”Igotanotherkissforthat.“Zaynemattersand

NicolaiandDezandalltheotherWardensmatter.Staceymatters.EvenCaymanmatters.”Hislipscurledintoasmile

againstmine.“Iwouldn’tgothatfar.”“Shushit.”Thistime,I

kissedhim.Rothclaspedmycheeksas

hepulledback.“Areyouokay?”Iknewhewasaskingnot

justbecauseofwhathappenedwithLilith,butalsowithZayne,andIlovedhimsomuchforthat—so,somuch.“I’mokay.”“Ah,thenyoubetterhold

on,Shortie.”“Holdon—”Isquealedas

hestoodsuddenly,andIdidholdon,wrappingmylegsaroundhisleanhipsandmyarmsaroundhisneck.“Yougotit.”Thenhe

kissedmeagainashemadealowsounddeepinhisthroatthatsentshiversallacrossme.Hislipsglidedovermineagain,nibblingandclingingtothemuntilhedeepenedthekisswithaplungeofhistongue,andIfeltthemetalball.Everysensefiredinalldirections,anditwasexplosive,andmyheartfluttered,alongwithmany,manyotherpartsofmybody.

Afamiliaryearningsurgedinsideme,andinsteadofsendingfearskitteringthroughmysystem,itshotdartsofsublimepleasurethroughmyveins.“Don’tstopholdingon,”

Rothordered,anddarksensualitydeepenedhisvoice.“I’mgoingtomakeyoumorethanokay.”Andheliveduptothat

promise.

Sixmonthslater...

Awarmwindliftedmyhair,tossingthepalestrandsacrossmyfaceandstirringthetiny,sensitivefeatherslayeringmywings.Themoonwashighandcloudswerethick,aperfectnightforflight.Iwasperchedontheroof

ofOneWorldTrade,onefootontheledge,theotherdanglingoff.Mywingswere

arcedhigh,keepingmefromtopplingrightoff.Downbelow,dazzlinglightslitupthestreets.Icouldn’tmakeoutpeople,butIcouldseetheirshapes,abunchoftinyblursmoving.Aroundmewereotherbuildingsstretchingtallintosky,windowslitupwhileothersdarkened.Noneofthemwereashighasme.Reachingbehindme,I

placedmyhandflatagainstthebuildingandclosedmyeyes.Thesadandyetpowerfulhistoryofrebirthandrenewalthathadtakenplaceonthispatchoflandwashardnottofeel,nottotakeamomenttorecognize.Ihadlearnedalongtime

agothatsometimeshumanscouldbemoreevilthananydemonrisingupfromthepitsofHell.

AsharpwhistledrewmyattentionandmyeyesopenedasIletmyhandfallbacktotheledge.ThewhistlehadcomefromsomewhereonWallStreet,andagrintuggedatmylips.Istoodslowly.AndthenItookflight.Windrushedup,

immediatelycatchingmywingsastheyspread.Arcingupwithclosedeyes,Iflewhigher,andcoldairswirled

overmyheatedskin,downthecenterofmybackandovermywings.ItwasjustlikeJasminehaddescribeditwhenIopenedmyeyes.IstretchedoutmyarmandIreallythoughtIcouldpossiblygraspthestarsinmyhandandtugthemclosetomychest.MaybeIcouldevenfly

straighttotheheavens,butIseriouslydoubtedtheAlphas

wouldbetoothrilledaboutthat.ThemerethoughtofknockingontheirpearlygatesbroughtasmiletomyfaceasIallowedmyselftospinlikealittlemissilebeforeIhitthepartoftheatmospherewhereIcouldeasilybeclippedbyaplaneandwouldstarttohavetroubletakinginoxygen.IknewifIwentanyfarther,Iwouldn’tbeabletobreathe,

butIalsoknewinstinctwouldtakeoverandmybodywouldforcemebackdown.I’dlearnedthatthehardwaylastnight.Oneglancebelowandit

waslikethewholeworldwasrightbeneathme.Buildingsjuttedoutatme,likedozensanddozensoffistsreachingup.Millionsofpeoplelivedandbreathedinanareathatnowappearedsoincredibly

small.Whatanawesomeviewof

NewYorkCity.Atorrentofwindsmacked

intomywings,butIspunoutofthegust,andthenswoopeddown.Tuckingmywingsback,Iletmyselfgetcaughtinanepicfreefall.Ipickedupspeedandforamoment,therateatwhichIfellstolemybreath,buttherewasnofearorpanic,justan

incrediblerushofadrenalineandjoy.Halfwaybacktothecity,I

unfurledmywings,slowingmydescentsoIdidn’tpancakeintothesideofabuilding,becausethatwouldhavebeenoneheckofawaytoendthenightandmylittlecross-countryjaunt.Coastingoverthecity,I

avoidedtheareasIknewtheotherWardensfrequentedand

glidedbacktowardthefinancialdistrict.TheNewYorkclanknewwewerehere.Dezhadevenphonedahead,warningtheclanhe’dcomefromnottomesswithus,butIdidn’twanttopushourluck.ThoughIdoubtedIwasenemynumberoneforthemandweallhadworkedtogetherhalfayearagotostoptheLilinandtheapocalypse,mypartnerin

crimewouldalwaysbeanotherstory—averytrickystory.Slowingdown,Ilandedin

acrouchontheroofofwhatIthoughtwasabank.I’djustfoldedmywingsbackwhenaheavyformlandedbesideme,causingtinypiecesofstonetoloosenfromtheledgeandfalltotheground.Archingabrow,Ilookedup.Rothstoodwithhislegs

wideandwingsspread.Hisskinwasinkylikeonyx,shinyandhard.Bare-chested,heblendedintothenightaroundhim.Orhewould’veifhehadn’tflashedhisfangsatme—andiftheskullonthebuckleofhisbeltwasn’tbrightwhite.“Yourhair,”hesaid.MyeyesnarrowedwhileI

resistedtheurgetoreachupandseewhathemeant.

“Whataboutit?”Hegrinnedasheknelt

besideme,quicklyslippingbackintohishumanform.“YoulooklikeyoujustrolledoutofaGunsN’Rosesvideo.”“Thanksforthat.”“Possiblyeventhe

‘ParadiseCity’video.”“Betterandbetter.”Leaningover,hekissedmy

templeandthenmybrow.

“Freakingsexyashell,though.RemindsmeofwhatitlookslikeafterIgetmyfingersinitandwe’re—”“Igetthepicture.”I

laughed.“Totallyknowwhereyou’regoingwiththat.”“What?Iwasgoingtosay

whenwe’rewakingupinthemorning.”Isnorted.“Oh,whatever.”Hisdeepchucklesenta

shiverthroughme.“Youknowmetoowell.”Thatwastrue.Closingthe

distancebetweenus,Igavehimaquickpeckonthecheek.“Didyouseeme?”“Yes.”Heclosedahand

aroundmynape,keepingmefrompullingaway.“Isawyoukissthestars.”Mylipsspreadinawide

smile.Ilikedthewaythatsounded.“Wanttoseeme

kissmyownpersonalstar?”Yeah,thatwascheesy,buteventhoughIcouldn’tseehissmile,Icouldfeelitineverycellinmybody.Hiscloseness,hishappinessandmine,practicallyhadmybodyhumming.“Always,”hemurmured.Tiltingmyhead,Ibrushed

mylipsoverhisonceandthentwice.ThehandalongmynecktightenedasIranthe

tipofmytonguealongtheseamofhiswonderfulmouth.Hislipsparted,andItookthekissdeeper,andlikeeverytime,hetastedlikedark,sinfulchocolate,andlikeeverysingletime,onekisswasneverenough.Thereweremoreaswecrouchedontheledgeofaroof,sixty-somestorieshigh,andIknewifwedidn’tcomeupforairsoon,wewouldstarttoget

greedy,firstwithourhandsandthenotherpartsofus.Thathadalsohappened

lastnight.Pullingback,Iletoutthe

breathIwasholdingasIcuppedhisjawinmyhandwhilehemadethemostpitifulsound.Igiggledintheminutespacebetweenourmouths.“Later,”Ipromised.Thesoundturnedtoa

deeperrumblefullof

approval.Anticipationswelled,formingahungermuchgreaterthantheoneIlivedwitheveryday.“Laterbettercomesoon,”hegrowled.Heslidhishandfrommy

neck,downmyback.Throughtheloose,thintanktop,Icouldfeelhisheat.“Tomorrowweleave?Canadanext?”Inodded.“Canadaitis.”

Hesaidnothingasherestedhishandonmyhip,andIwasquietasIstaredoutatthecitydownbelow.IwasstaringatmyfuturewhileIcrouchednexttomyeternity,andthatwasawonderful,beautifulfeeling.Istillhadn’tpickedouta

collegeyetordecidedonwhatIwantedtomajorin,butthatwasokay.IhadtimeandIdidn’twanttorushasecond

ofit.“Isitlateryet?”Roth

asked.Castinghimalingering

look,IgrinnedasIrosefluidly,withagraceIneverthoughtI’deverbecapableof.“Onlyifyoucancatchme.”Rothroseatonce,

capturingmyhandbeforeIcouldeventakeoff,threadinghisfingersthroughmine.

“Alreadydid,Layla.”Andsohehad,alongtime

ago,whenhestruttedintoadarkalleyandtookoutaPoserdemon.Truthbetold,Ireallydidn’tevenwanttorun.Thiswaslove,andlove

couldchangepeople,evenifthatpersonwasreallyademonandtheCrownPrinceofHell.“Iloveyou,”Itoldhim,

andItoldhimthateverydayandIwouldtellhimthatoverandoveragain.Rothloweredhisforehead

tomineashebroughtourjoinedhandstohischest,placingthemabovehisheart.“AndIloveyou,”hesaid.“WitheverybreathItake,Iwillalwaysloveyou.”

*****

JenniferL.ArmentroutandHarlequinTEENarethrilledtointroduceTHEPROBLEMWITH

FOREVER,thefirstinabrand-newcontemporaryyoungadult

series.Readonforanexclusive

sneakpeek!

IfyoulovedEveryLastBreath,besuretocheckoutthefirstthreeinstallmentsofTheDarkElementsseries

byNewYorkTimesbestsellingauthorJenniferL.

Armentrout!

BitterSweetLove(novella)WhiteHotKiss

StoneColdTouch

Availablenowinebookformat!

ConnectwithusonHarlequin.comforinfoonour

newreleases,accesstoexclusiveoffers,freeonlinereadsandmuchmore!

Otherwaystokeepintouch:

Harlequin.com/NewslettersFacebook.com/HarlequinTEENTwitter.com/HarlequinTEEN

HarlequinBlog.com

IfyoulovedTheDarkElementsseries,besuretocheckoutanothergreatparanormalseries—The

WhiteRabbitChroniclesbyNewYorkTimesbestsellingauthorGenaShowalter.

InspiredbytheclassicAliceinWonderland,TheWhiteRabbitChroniclesseries

featuresromance,high-actionzombieslaying,andshockingtwiststhatwillleavereaders

gaspingformore.

Orderyourcopytoday!

AliceinZombielandThroughtheZombieGlassTheQueenofZombieHearts

AMadZombieParty(October2015)

ConnectwithusonHarlequin.comforinfoonour

newreleases,accesstoexclusiveoffers,freeonlinereadsandmuchmore!

Otherwaystokeepintouch:

Harlequin.com/NewslettersFacebook.com/HarlequinTEENTwitter.com/HarlequinTEEN

HarlequinBlog.com

TheProblemwithForever

byJenniferL.Armentrout

one

THREESUGARS.Everysinglemorning,Carl

Newportdumpedthreehuge

spoonfulsofsugarinhiscoffee.Well,whenhethoughtnoonewaslooking,he’daddtwomore.Foramaninhisearlyfifties,hewasfitandtrim,buthehadonemeansugaraddiction.Inhisstudy,thehomeofficefullofthickmedicaljournals,therewasadrawerinhisdeskthatlookedlikeacandystorehadthrownupinit.Hoveringnearthesugar

bowl,hereachedforthespoonagainasheglancedoverhisshoulder.Hishandfroze.IgrinnedfromwhereIsat

atthehugeisland,anemptycerealbowlinfrontofme.Hesighedashefacedme,

leaningbackagainstthegranitecountertop,andeyedmeovertherimofhismugashetookadrinkofthecoffee.Hisdarkblackhair,combed

backfromhisforehead,hadstartedtoturnsilveratthetemples,andwithhisdeepoliveskin,Ithoughtitmadehimlookfairlydistinguished.Hewashandsome,andsowashiswifeRosa.Well,handsomewasn’ttherightwordforher.Withherdark,exoticfeatures,shewasverypretty.Stunning,really,inthewaysheheldandcarriedherself.

Iplacedmyspooninthebowl,carefullysoitwouldn’tclangagainsttheceramic.I...Ididn’tliketomakeunnecessarynoises.AnoldhabitI’dbeenunabletobreak.Glancingupfrommy

bowl,IfoundCarlwatchingme.“Areyoureadyfortoday,Mallory?”Myheartskipped

unsteadilyinresponseto

whatfeltlikeaninnocentquestion,butwasreallytheequivalentofaloadedassaultrifle.IwasreadyinallthewaysIshouldbe.Likeanerd,I’dprintedoffmyscheduleandthemapofLandsHigh,andRosahadcalledahead,obtainingmylockerassignment,soIknewexactlywhereeverythingwas.I’dstudiedthatmap.Seriously.Asifmylifedependedonit.

There’dbenoneedtoaskanyonewhereanyofmyclasseswere.RosahadevenmadethetripwithmeyesterdaytothehighschoolsoIgotfamiliarwiththeroadandhowlongthedrivewouldtakeme.Todaywasthefirsttime

I’dbeattendingpublicschool.Well,notthefirsttime.Thereweretimesbefore,whenIwasyounger,

butIbarelyrememberedthem,soIdidn’tcountthem.Thentherewastheothertime,afterCarlandRosahadtakenmein,andthatfirstdayatmiddleschoolhadbeenanepicfail.Thatwasfouryearsago.ButnowIwasready.I

shouldbeready.“Mallory?”Iglancedupandgavea

curtnodasIpressedmylips

togetheranddroppedmyhandstomylap.Iwastotallyready.Carlloweredhismug,

placingitonthecounterbehindhim.“You’resureyouknowthewaytoschool?”Noddingagain,Ihopped

upfromthebarstoolandgrabbedmybowl.IfIleftnow,Iwouldbefifteenminutesearly.Probablyagoodidea,IguessedasI

placedthebowlandspooninthestainlesssteeldishwasher.“Andyouhaveeverything

youneed?”heasked,andasIstraightened,hetwistedhisbodytowardme.Carlwasn’tatallman,maybearoundfivefooteight,butIstillonlycameuptohisshoulders.“Useyourwords,Mallory.Iknowyou’renervousandyou’vegotahundredthingsgoingoninyourhead,but

youneedtouseyourwords.Notshakeyourheadyesorno.”Useyourwords.Isqueezed

myeyesshut.Dr.Tafthadsaidthatphraseamilliontimesover,ashadthespeechtherapistthathadworkedwithmethreetimesaweekfortwoyears.Useyourwords.Wordsflewthroughmyheadlikeaflockofbirdsmigratingsouthforthe

winter.Wordswerenevertheproblem.Ihadthem,alwayshadthem,butitwasthepluckingthewordsoutandputtingavoicetothemthathadalwaysbeentricky.Idrewinabreathandthen

swallowed.“Yeah.Yes.I’m...ready.”AndIhadtobeready,

becausetodaywasabigday.Itwentbeyondattendinganewschool.IfIhadanyhope

ofattendingcollegenextyearlikeanormal,functioningperson,Ihadtomakeitthroughoneyearofpublicschool.Ihadto.Asmallsmiletippeduphis

lipsashescoopedalongstrandofauburnhairbackfrommyface.MyhairwasmorebrownthanreduntilIsteppedoutside.ThenIturnedintoaliving,breathing

crimsonfireengineofredheadedawkwardness.“Youcandothis.Icompletelybelievethat,”hesaid,dippingtoplaceakissonmyforehead.“Youjusthavetobelievethat,Mallory.”Mybreathhitchedinmy

throat.“Thankyou.”Twowords.Theyweren’tpowerful

enough,becausehowcould

theybewhenCarlandRosahadsavedmylife?Literallyandfiguratively.Whenitcametothem,I’dbeenattherightplaceattherightmomentforallthewrongreasonsintheuniverse.OurstorywassomethingstraightoutofanOprahspecialoranABCFamilymovie.Unreal.Sayingthankyouwould

neverbeenough.Ihurriedtotheislandand

grabbedmybookbagandkeysbeforeIbrokedownandstartedcryinglikeakidthatjustdiscoveredSantawasn’treal.Asifhereadmymind,he

stoppedmeatthedoor.“Don’tthankme,”hesaid.“Showme.”Istartedtonod,but

stoppedmyself.“Okay.”Hegrinnedthen,crinkling

theskinaroundhiseyes.

“Goodluck.”Openingthefrontdoor,I

steppedoutonthenarrowstoopandintothewarmairandbrightsunofalateAugustmorning.Mygazedriftedovertheneatlylandscapedfrontyardthatmatchedthehouseacrossthestreet,andwasidenticaltoeveryhouseinthePointesubdivision.Everyhouse.

SometimesitstillshockedmethatIwaslivinginaplacelikethis—abighomewithayardandflowersartfullyplanted,andacarintherecentlyasphalteddrivewaythatwasmine.LikeI’dwakeupandfindmyselfback...Ishookmyhead,pushing

thosethoughtsawayasIapproachedthedecade-oldHondaCivic.Keptingreatcondition,thesilverpaint

hadn’tfaded.ThecarhadbelongedtoRosaandCarl’srealdaughter,ahighschoolgraduationgiftgiventoMarquettebeforeshe’dleftforcollegetobecomeadoctor,likethem.Exceptshenevermadeitto

college.Ananeurysm.Thereoneminuteandgonethenext,andtherehadbeennothingthatcouldbedone.Iimaginedthatwassomething

RosaandCarlhadalwaysstruggledwith...Theysavedsomanylives,butcouldn’tsavetheirdaughter.Itwasalittleweirdsince

thecarbelongedtomenow,likeIwassomehowareplacementchild.TheynevermademefeelthatwayandI’dneversaythatoutloud,butstill,whenIgotbehindthewheelIcouldn’thelpbutthinkabout

Marquette.BeforeIbackedoutofthe

driveway,thereflectionofmyeyesintherearviewmirrorsnaggedmyattention.Theywerewaytoowide.Ilookedlikeadeerabouttogetslammedbyasemi,ifdeerhadblueeyes,butwhatever.Theskinaroundmyeyeswaspale,mybrowsknitted.Ilookedscared.Sigh.

Relaxingmyfacetookeffort,andpracticallytheentiretwenty-eight-minutedrivetoLandsHigh,andthemomentthethree-storybrickschoolcameintoview,beyondthebaseballandfootballfields,allthateffortwenttowaste.Mystomachtwistedasmy

handstightenedonthesteeringwheel.Theschoolwashugeandrelativelynew.

Thewebsitesaidithadbeenbuiltinthenineties,andcomparedtootherschools,itwasstillshiny.Shinyandhuge.Ipassedthebusesturning

todotheirdrop-offintheroundaboutandfollowedanothercararoundthesprawlingstructure,tothemall-sizeparkinglot.Parkingwasn’thard,andIwasalittleearly,soIusedthatfifteen

minutestodosomethingakintoadailyaffirmation,justascheesyandembarrassing.Icandothis.Iwilldothis.

Overandover,IrepeatedthosewordsasIclimbedoutoftheHonda,slingingthebagovermyshoulder.MyheartpoundedasIlookedaroundme,takingintheseaoffacesstreamingtowardthewalkwayleadingtothebackentranceofLandsHigh.

Differentfeatures,colors,shapesandsizesgreetedme.Foramomentitwaslikemybrainwasasecondawayfromshort-circuiting.Iheldmybreath.Eyesglancedoverme,somelingeringandsomemovingonasiftheydidn’tevennoticemestandingthere,whichwasokayinaway,becauseIwasusedtobeingaghost.ButIwasn’tsupposedto

beaghostanymore.Christ—thatwasthewholepointofbeinghere.Myhandflutteredtothestrapofmybagand,mouthdry,Iforcedmylegstomove.Firstbigstepwasjoining

thewaveofpeople,slippinginbesidethemandfocusingontheblondponytailofthegirlinfrontofme.Mygazedipped.Shewaswearingajeanskirtandsandals.Bright

orange,strappygladiator-stylesandals.Theywerecute.Icouldtellherthat.Strikeupaconversation.Isaidnothing.Herlegsweretoned,asif

shewasarunnerlikeRosa.Thegirlinfrontofmehadgorgeouslegs.Mineweretheequivalentoftwigs,muchlikemyarms.WhenIwasyounger,IrememberedbeingtoldI’dblowawayinastrong

gustofwind.Notmuchhadchanged.AndIreallyneededtostop

staringatherlegs.Liftingmygaze,myeyes

collidedwithaboynexttome.Sleepclungtohisexpression.Hedidn’tsmileorfrownordoanythingotherthanturnhisattentionbacktothecellphoneheheldinhishand.Iwasn’tevensureifhesawme.

Themorningairwaswarm,butthemomentIsteppedintothenearfrigidschool,IwasgratefulforthethincardiganI’dcarefullypairedwiththetanktopandjeans.Fromtheentrance,

everyonespreadoutindifferentdirections.Smallerstudentswhowereroughlyaroundmyheight,butweredefinitelymuchyounger,speed-walkedoverthered

andblueVikingpaintedonthefloor,theirbookbagsthumpingofftheirbacksastheydodgedtallerandbroaderbodies.Otherswalkedlikezombies,gaitsslowandalmostroamingaimlessly.Iwassomewhereinthemiddle,movingatanormalpace,average.Butthereweresomewho

racedtowardothers,huggingthemandlaughing.Iguessed

theywerefriendswhohadn’tseeneachotheroverthesummerbreakormaybetheywerejustreallyexcitablepeople.Eitherway,IstaredatthemasIwalked.SeeingthemremindedmeofAinsley.Likeme,she’dbeenhomeschooled—stillwas—butifshewasn’t,Iimaginedwe’dbelikethemrightnow,hoppingtowardoneanother,grinningandexcited.Normal.

Ainsleywasprobablystillinbed.Itookthestairwellatthe

endofthewidehall,neartheentrancetothecrowdedcafeteria.Evenbeingclosetothelunchroomhadmyheartthumping.Ididn’tevenwanttothinkaboutthatrightnow,becauseImightendupinthatcorneragain.Mylockerwasonthe

secondfloor,middleofthe

hall,numbertwo-three-four.Ifounditwithnoproblem,andhey,itopenedonthefirsttry.Twistingatthewaist,IpulledoutabinderIwasusingformyclassesintheafternoonanddroppeditonthetopshelf,knowingthatIwasgoingtobecollectingmassivetextbookstoday.Thelockerbesidemine

slammedshutandmychinjerkedup.Atallgirlwithtiny

braidsalloverherheadflashedaquicksmileinmydirection.“Hey.”BythetimeIgotmy

tonguetoformthatone,stupidlittleword,she’dalreadyspunandwashalfwaydownthehall,andIwasmurmuringatair.Feelingabouttenkindsofslow,Irolledmyeyesandclosedmylockerdoor.Turningaround,mygazelandedontheback

ofaguyheadingintheoppositedirection.Idon’tevenknowwhyor

howIendeduplookingathim.Maybeitwasbecausehewasagoodheadtallerthananyonearoundhim.Likeatotalcreeper,Icouldn’tpullmyeyesawayfromhim.Hehadwavyhair,somewherebetweenblondandbrown,anditwascutshortagainstthenapeofhisbronzedneck,

butwaslongeronthetop.Iwonderedifitfloppedonhisforehead,andtherewasanunsteadytugatmychestthatmademethinkofaboyIusedtoknowyearsago,whosehairalwaysdidthat—fellforward.Aboyitkindofhurtmychesttothinkabout.Hisshoulderswerebroad

underablackT-shirt,bicepsdefinedinawaythatmademethinkofsomeonewho

eitherplayedsportsordidalotoflabor.Hisjeanswerefaded,butnotintheexpensiveway.Iknewthedifferencebetweenname-brandjeansthatlookedwell-wornandjeansthatweresimplyoldandontheirlastwear.Hecarriedasinglenotebookinhishand,andevenfromwhereIstood,thenotebooklookedaboutasoldashispantsdid.

Somethingweirdwiggledinmychest,afeelingoffamiliarity,andasIstoodinfrontofmylocker,IletmyselfthinksomethingIhadn’tallowedmyselftoreallyconsider.Imightactuallyknow

someofthepeoplehere.KidsI’dgrownupwith,sleptinthesamehousewith.Maybetheywouldn’trememberme.Ithadbeenfouryearssince

I’dseenanyofthem,butI’drememberthemandIespeciallyrememberedhim.

***

MostofmyclasseswereAP,andIblendedrightin,takingmyseatintheback.Noonetalkedtome.Notuntilbeforelunch,atthestartofEnglish,whenadark-hairedgirlwithsloe-coloredeyessatinthe

emptyseatacrossfromme.“Hi,”shesaid,smackinga

thicknotebookontheflatsurfaceattachedtothechair.“IhearMr.Newberryisarealjerk.Takealookatthepictures.”Mygazeflickeredtothe

frontoftheclassroom.Ourteacherhadn’tarrivedyet,butthechalkboardwaslinedwithphotosoffamousauthors.Shakespeare,Voltaire,

Hemingway,EmersonandThoreauwereafewIrecognized,andIprobablywouldn’trecognizethemifIdidn’thaveendlesstimeonmyhands.“Alldudes,right?”she

continued,andwhenIlookedbackather,thetightblackcurlsbouncedassheshookherhead.“Mysisterhadhimtwoyearsago.Shewarnedmethathebasicallythinks

youneedadicktoproduceanythingofliteraryvalue.”Myeyeswentwide.“SoI’mthinkingthisclass

shouldbealotoffun.”Shegrinned,flashingstraight,whiteteeth.“Bytheway,I’mKeiraHart.Idon’trememberyoufromlastyear.NotthatIremembereveryone,butIthinkIwould’veatleastseenyou.”Sweatcoveredmypalms

asshecontinuedtostareatmefromdarkbrowneyes.Thequestionshewasthrowingoutwassimple.Theanswerwaseasy.MythroatdriedandIcouldfeelheatcreepingupmyneckasthesecondstickedby.Useyourwords.Mytoescurledagainstthe

softleathersolesofmyflip-flops.“I’m...I’mnew.”There!Ididit.Ispoke.

Takethat,Dr.Taft.Wordsweretotallymybitch.Allright,perhapsIwasexaggeratingmyaccomplishmentsinceItechnicallyonlyspoketwowordsandrepeatedone,butwhatever.Keiradidn’tseemtonotice

myinternaldumbassery.“That’swhatIthought.”Andthenshewaited,andforamoment,Ididn’tgetwhyshe

waslookingatmesoexpectantly.ThenIdid.Myname.Shewas

probablywaitingformyname.Airhissedinbetweenmyteeth.“I’mMallory...MalloryDodge.”“Cool.”Shenoddedasshe

rockedhercurvyshouldersagainstthebackofthechair.“Oh.Herehecomes.”Wedidn’ttalkagain,butI

wasfeelingprettygoodabout

thesumtotalofsevenwordsspoken,andIwastotallygoingtocounttherepeatones.Thiswas,byfar,somuchbetterthanmiddleschool.I’dmadeitthroughfourclasses,spokentosomeone,andeventhoughMr.Newberryspokewithanairofpretentiousnessthatevenanewbielikemecouldpickupon,Iwasfloatingonamajoraccomplishment

high.Thencamelunch.Forthemostpart,Iwasa

completefailatit.Nerveshadtwistedmy

stomachintoknots,andeventhoughImadeitthroughthelunchline,allIgrabbedwasabananaandabottleofwater.Thereweresomanypeoplearoundmeandsomuchnoise—laughter,shoutingandaconstantlowhumof

conversation—thatIwascompletelyoutofmyelement.Everyonewasatthelongsquaretables,huddledingroups.NoonewasreallysittingalonefromwhatIcouldsee,andthesmellofdisinfectantandburntfoodwasoverwhelming.AsIleftthecafeteria,I

thoughtmygazedriftedoverKeirasittingatahalf-fulltable.Forasecond,Ithought

shesawme,butIhurriedoutintothesomewhatquieterhallandkeptgoing,passingafewkidslingeringagainstthelockersandthefaintscentofcigarettesthatsurroundedthem.Iroundedthecorner,andatthelastmoment,avoidedahead-oncollisionwithaboynotmuchtallerthanme.Hestumbledtotheside,

bloodshoteyeswideningout

ofsurprise.AscentclungtohimthatatfirstIthoughtwassmoke,butwhenIinhaled,itwassomethingricher,earthyandthick.“Sorry,chula,”he

murmured,andhiseyesdidaslowglidefromthetipsofmytoesrightbackuptomine.Hestartedtogrin.Attheendofthehall,a

tallerboypickeduphispace.“Jayden,whereinthefuck

yourunningoffto,bro?Weneedtotalk.”TheguyIassumedwas

Jaydenturned,rubbingahandoverhisclose-croppeddarkhairashemuttered,“Mierda,hombre.”Adooropenedanda

teachersteppedout,frowningashisgazebouncedbetweenthetwo,andIfigureditwastimetogetoutofthehallway,becausenothingaboutthe

tallerboy’sfacesaidhewashappyorfriendly,andtheteachersortoflookedlikehewantedtocutsomeone.Iendedupinthelibrary,

playingCandyCrushonmycellphoneuntilthebellrang,andIspentmynextclass—history—furiouswithmyself,becauseitprobablywasKeirainthelunchroomandIcould’veapproachedhertable.Sheseemednice

enough,butinsteadIhidinthelibrarylikeadork.Doubtsettledovermelike

atoo-heavy,coarseblanket.WhatifIcouldn’tdothis?WhatifIwasalwaysgoingtobethis—whateverthiswas—fortherestofmylife?Maybeschoolwasabadidea.Collegewould’vebeendifferent,lesspressuretofitin,andIcould’veeasedintoit.Myskingrewitchybythe

timeIheadedtomyfinalclass,myheartrateprobablysomewherenearstroketerritory,becausemylastperiodwastheworstperiodeverinthehistoryofever,ever.Speechclass.Otherwiseknownas

Communications.WhenI’dregisteredfortheschool,I’dbeenfeelingallkindsofbravewhileCarlandRosa

staredatmelikeIwashalfcrazy.Theysaidtheycouldgetmeoutoftheclass,eventhoughitwasarequirementatLandsHigh,butI’dhadsomethingtoprove.Ugh.NowIwishedIhad

employedsomecommonsenseandletthemdowhateveritwasthatwould’vegottenmeexcused,becausethiswasanightmarewaiting

tohappen.WhenIsawtheopendoortotheclassonthethirdfloor,itgapedatme,theroomultrabrightinside.Mystepsfaltered.Agirl

steppedaroundme,lipspursingwhenshecheckedmeout,butIwantedtospinandflee.GetintheHonda.Gohome.Besafe.Staythesame.No.Tighteningmyfingers

aroundthestrapofmybag,Iforcedmyselfforward,anditwaslikewalkingthroughknee-deepmud.Eachstepfeltsluggish.EachbreathItookwheezedinmylungs.Overheadlightstwinkledandmyearswerehypersensitivetotheconversationaroundme,butIdidit.Myfeetmadeittotheback

rowandmyfingerswerenumb,knuckleswhite,asI

droppedmybagonthefloorbesidemydeskandslidintomyseat.Busyingmyselfwithpullingoutmynotebook,Ithengrippedtheedgeofmydesk.Iwasinspeechclass.Iwas

here.I’ddoneit.Knucklesstartingtoache,I

loosenedmydeathgripasIglancedatthedoor,slidingmydamphandsacrossthetop

ofthedesk.ThefirstthingIsawwasthebroadchestdrapedinblack,thenthewell-formedbiceps.Andtherewasthattirednotebookthatlookedsecondsfromfallingapart,tappingagainstaworndenim-cladthigh.Itwastheboyfromthis

morning,fromthehallway.Morethancurioustosee

whathelookedlikefromthefront,Iraisedmylashes,but

hehadturnedtowardthedoor.Agirlwascominginbehindhim;theexpressiononherfacesaidhegavegreatfullfrontal,butheseemedtobelookingatsomeoneoutinthehall,andhelaughed.Thegirlgotallgoogly-eyed.Tinyhairsroseallovermy

body.Thatlaugh...Itwasdeep,richandsomehowfamiliar.Ashivercreptovermyshoulders.Thatlaugh...

Hewaswalkingbackward,andIwasratheramazedthathedidn’ttripoveranything,actuallysomewhatenviousofthatfact.AndthenIrealizedhewasheadingtowardtheback,andholycrappers,thereweretwoseatsopen,oneoneithersideofme.Heturnedattheendofthe

desks,steppingbehindtheoccupiedchair,andmygazetrackedupnarrowhips,over

thestomach,upandup,andthenIsawhisface.Istoppedbreathing.Mybraincouldn’tperceive

whatIwasseeing.Itdidnotcompute.Istaredupathim,reallysawhim,sawafacethatwasfamiliaryetunknowntome,morematurethanIrememberedbutstillachinglybeautiful.Iknewhim.OhmyGod,Iwouldknowhimanywhere,evenif

ithadbeenfouryearsandthelasttimeI’dseenhim,thatlastnightthathadbeensohorrible,hadchangedmylifeforever.Icouldn’tmove,couldn’t

getenoughairintomylungsandcouldn’tbelievethis.Myhandsslippedoffthedesk,fallinglimplyintomylapashedippedintotheseatnexttome,hisgazeontheopendoor,andhisprofile,the

strongjawthathadonlybeenhintedatthelasttimeI’dseenhim,tiltingashiseyesmovedoverthefrontoftheclass.Helookedlikehedidbackthen,butbiggerandeverythingmore...moredefined.Fromthedarkerbrowsandthicklashestothebroadcheekbonesandtheslightscruffcoveringthecurveofhisjaw.Goodness,he’dgrownup

inthewayI’dthoughthewouldwhenIwastwelveandstartedtoreallylookathim,toseehimasaboy.Myheartwastryingto

clawitselfoutofmychestaslips—lipsfullerthanIremembered—tiltedup,andaknotformedinmybellyasthedimpleformedinhisrightcheek.Theonlydimplehehad.Nomatchingset.Justone.

Leaningbackinthechairthatseemedtoosmallforhim,heslowlyturnedhisheadtowardme.Eyesthatwerebrownwithtinyflecksofgoldmetmine.EyesI’dneverforgotten,

neverreallystoppedthinkingordreamingabout,andneverstoppedworryingabout.Theeasy,almostlazysmile

I’dseenamilliontimesinpersonandinmyhead

slippedoffhisface.Hislipspartedandapalenessseepedunderthenaturallytannedskin.Thoseeyeswidened,thegoldflecksseemingtoexpand.Herecognizedme;Ihadchangedalotsincethen,butstill,recognitiondawnedinhisfeatures.Hewasmovingagain,leaningforwardinhisseattowardme.Don’tmakeasound.

“Mouse?”hebreathed.

Copyright©2016byJenniferL.Armentrout

ISBN-13:9781460379424

EveryLastBreath

Copyright©2015byJenniferL.Armentrout

Allrightsreserved.Bypaymentoftherequiredfees,youhavebeengrantedthenon-exclusive,non-transferablerighttoaccessandreadthetextofthise-

bookon-screen.Nopartofthistextmaybereproduced,transmitted,down-loaded,decompiled,reverseengineered,orstoredinorintroducedintoanyinformationstorageandretrievalsystem,inanyformorbyanymeans,whetherelectronicormechanical,nowknownorhereinafterinvented,withouttheexpresswrittenpermissionof

publisher,HarlequinEnterprisesLimited,225DuncanMillRoad,DonMills,Ontario,CanadaM3B3K9.

Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,placesandincidentsareeithertheproductoftheauthor’simaginationorareusedfictitiously,andanyresemblancetoactual

persons,livingordead,businessestablishments,eventsorlocalesisentirelycoincidental.ThiseditionpublishedbyarrangementwithHarlequinBooksS.A.

®and™aretrademarksofthepublisher.Trademarksindicatedwith®areregisteredareregisteredintheUnitedStatesPatentandTrademarkOffice,the

CanadianIntellectualPropertyOfficeandinothercountries.

www.Harlequin.com